jensen-jarpad - Tumblr blog

[jensen-jarpad]

Cansada dessa ansiedade por causa de dinheiro

Sonho em comprar as coisas, fazer coisas, trabalho, economizo, e no segundo em que conquisto começo a passar mal com sentimento de culpa, de que não deveria ter gastado

Se não se preocupassem tanto com dinheiro alheio e calassem a boca ao invés de falar dos meus gastos eu seria muito mais feliz

[jensen-jarpad]

Yesterday everything was fine until it wasn’t

Someone asked me what day it was

I looked at the calendar, told them the date, and then I remembered

Your birthday. A day that for 12 years we celebrated together. And this year is the first that we don’t. This year I didn’t get a text or a call from you on my brithday, and I don’t feel close enough to text you on yours.

It’s been a long time since we last talked, it’s weird that a part of me still hurts when I think of you, still misses our conversations about nothing and everything

You were the person who knew everything about me, and who let me know all the things that made you YOU

But now… now we are strangers, now we don’t know each other anymore

And it’s fine… but not really

[jensen-jarpad]

“I want someone to tell me that they won’t leave. That I’m worth more than being left behind.”

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[jensen-jarpad]

“I think of you at 2am when I can’t sleep, and I wish you were here, and I wish you were holding me.”

—

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it's been years and i'm still not okay,

and i think i never will be.

[jensen-jarpad]

Ever cried in your bed curled up in a ball because you’re alive and can’t die?

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"I'm not lazy, I'm just tired. and I don't mean because I've been working hard. Not at all. I'm tired from forcing myself to get out of bed everyday. I'm tired of distracting myself from the thoughts in my brain. I'm tired because all my energy is put to surviving and people don't understand that because all they see is how unproductive you are."

— depression is a disease and it's tiring

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“I was 12 thinking about killing myself. I am 21, still thinking about killing myself.”

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[jensen-jarpad]

“I’ve been hurt more than I’ve been loved.”

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