jenthebug

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tumblr irl meetup but we won't say who is who, instead you get a list of all the blog urls that are attending and you have to try to match each person with their blog. You can ask questions but you can't ask for the blog name directly.

it's like crime dinner but instead you gather clues by observing who laughs at which dick jokes.

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My favorite colors, the lavenders and lilacs, look resplendent! And the darker shades are beautiful too!

HUGE shout out to purple for being the only color that has like no losers. Deep purple royal purple bluish purple redish purple pastel purple dusty purple lavender periwinkle violet like. Banger after banger after banger!!

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I had ice cream for dinner again.

This time, it was because of my biopsy. That fucker hurt! 😭 And the doc had no bedside manner, and I had to hold my arm at an awkward angle, and now the site itches but it hurts when I touch it. Besides, it’s the test to confirm whether or not I have cancer. I’d be a little more forgiving if it was a procedure to increase my dispatching skills or sexiness.

Two scoops later, I’m at least in a better mood about all of it.

I was very brave about the whole thing.

I should have results by Tuesday at the latest. I’m not so sure how to be brave about that. If it’s cancer, that means a minor surgery and radiation. Radiation scares the shit out of me. It can cause fatigue and brain fog. Having had both, I know I can’t work like that. 😭

If I can’t work, that means meetings with supervisors and HR explaining the whole thing. Hopefully without crying 😂

There’s also the scariest worst case scenario: it’s totally cancer and some of it cruised out of my lymph node to a major organ.

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I think one of the most damaging ideologies towards children is the conviction that having children isn’t a calling but a moral obligation.

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Google search how to reset the body's score counter. Google average score kept by body. Body score counting rigged site:reddit.com

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So this Lyft driver on the way back.

Hispanic guy, barely spoke any English. Cool. (Sincere)

But his music. As soon as I opened the door, I was blasted with Alan Jackson.

“Oh hell yeah 90s country! This is the best!” Not Husband’s favorite, but whatever, it’s a short ride.

After that? Three George Strait songs in a row! HELL YES this car is my own personal honky tonk!

Great way to end the night!

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At the arcade bar, kinda drunk. Wouldn’t drive.

Look at this amazing hair day I’m having.

They have Skee Ball but it’s the wrong kind. The balls are blue plastic and the scores are in the thousands.

They have so much pinball. Lots of new machines. But they have World Cup 94 and Super Mario Bros! I love those!

Husband’s absolutely pwning a shoot em up. I’m waiting for chips and queso, saving my tokens for more pinball.

Check out this bathroom graffiti in the gender neutral bathroom:

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do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

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I love when Soba just *happens* to have important cat business in the same room I’m in.

Living room? Gotta look out the window.

Kitchen? Time to eat.

Basement? Time to bother the dog.

Upstairs bathroom? Gotta sniff everything on the counter.

(Of course, this is all null and void when Husband is around; he follows Husband around and begs for attention)

Anyway, here he is being scrunkly while I change.

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Just like every work night, I’m fucking spent.

Things will get easier when I patch and have less radio time.

Unfortunately! I am feeling discouraged, making the same mistakes over and over, and I’m almost *but not quite* good enough yet.

Lt Buddy wants to have a meeting with me on Thursday (my next Monday) about how he can best support me. I’m thinking of asking to borrow a radio over the weekends so I can listen and match the dispatcher’s keyboard inputs. I want at least that part of it to become automatic.

This weekend, I’ll make do with scanner radio.

This job, especially during the work week, is pretty much all-consuming. My brain is 🚑. My habits and time are dedicated to 🚑. I think about how to be a better dispatcher on my days off. I practice on my days off.

And Husband seems to feel sympathy or pity for me because of that, but no. It’s a good thing. The only reason I’m not devastated by this cancer scare is 🚑. If I have cancer, I’ll have minor surgery and radiation—a finite treatment. I won’t have to stop working. Work will keep me going.

Every work day, I get to hang out with a bunch of dispatchers, do challenging work and occasionally do it well (I’ll get better at it), and know that I’m doing real, tangible good. It doesn’t get much better than that.

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Me: I remembered my lunch this time!

Also me: [forgets to brush teeth and put on hearing aids]

🧠 💨 😡

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intrigued about this so making a poll!

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Stressed out like

Work put me through the wringer today. I want to sleep but I feel like I need a brain dump.

This afternoon, I had no ambulances. Three calls were stacked up. I distinctly remember thinking, “Why am I doing this?”

Dispatched the calls anyway. (Pulled one ambulance from the hospital, one from the garage, and one from a private company)

Ten minutes later, a huge car wreck came in on the border of the Big City and the Massive Suburb. It was in the Massive Suburb’s jurisdiction, but we kept our ambulance going anyway. Our one ambulance transported four of the nine patients involved. Laughs, jokes, and good feelings all around!

Then it was time for 15 (crew) to go home. They had just hit the garage, five minutes before their off time, when…cardiac arrest! I asked for anyone from the garage, expecting an oncoming crew to take it. Nope! 15 stepped up. ❤️ AND their patient survived, at least long enough to be transported to the hospital.

Most days, today especially, I come home from work feeling totally depleted. My brain is done. I’m tired and hungry. Even my body is tired.

And every morning, I look forward to doing it again.

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Me: Wow, this morning sure is long and luxurious!

Also me, upon arrival at work: Where’s my lunch? Did I forget to pack one?

🧠 💨