jenthebug

[jenthebug]

Against all odds, I slept pretty damn good! Look at all that deep sleep! 😴

I’m feeling optimistic.

I’m also skipping the energy drink at Dutch Bros in favor of coffee from home so I don’t get turbo anxiety.

Today is gonna be a good day.

[jenthebug]

[jenthebug]

Problem: It’s currently 20:00 and 91F (32.7C) outside. Our house doesn’t have AC. I have to sleep!

Ideally, I’d get a whole bunch of restful, restorative sleep, because work has been incredibly stressful. It’s been busier than normal and my trainer is putting the pressure on.

At one point today, I had three ambulances available. Not the best, but fairly chill. Then, eight (8) emergent calls dropped within a minute. Hoooooly shit. (Some of them had to wait a couple minutes)

If I hadn’t had emergency surgery, I’d have been back sooner and I’d be trying to clear training during a less busy time of year. But there’s no way to go back and make that un-happen, so I better just get good.

For now, though, it’s time to turn on the fan, take off the pjs (*wolf whistle*), somehow stop the overthinking, and get ready to do better tomorrow.

[jenthebug]

I remembered to go to work :3

It was fine. The AC was broken so everyone got to take their uniform shirts off and just wear undershirts (I kept mine on; I’m always cold and found it very pleasant in there).

My trainer for the day was Ms Bonkers, who gave me some good information.

I think I’ll ask for more time on the ops channel this week for practice, even though it stresses me out.

For now, though, it’s time to chill.

[jenthebug]

Tumblr deactivating a moot is actually heartbreaking 🥺💔

[jenthebug]

I work 1200-1600 today.

(I got moved back to Burly Man’s shift but he’s off Sunday, I have to get those 4 hours somewhere)

Anyway, this morning as I was waking up and feeding the animals, I had the worst thought: “I’m gonna forget to go to work.”

This is such a weird shift that I could totally see myself getting distracted and just not going.

So. I’ll chill until 1000, eat lunch, take a shower, get ready, and be out the door by 1100. I even have an alarm set.

For now, I have some very important Stardew Valley to play! Just unlocked Ginger Island on my newest playthrough.

[jenthebug]

O SHIT WHATS THIS

It’s that soup that I didn’t wanna make!

I wonder if cooking will become less onerous when I have more working memory to work with. Cooking “easy” things (scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, sautéed veggies) is easier and more pleasant than a whole-ass soup. Similarly, the less prep work and finishing work (like putting a batch of food away), the better.

Anyway, this soup is amazing and I wish I had enough to share with everyone.

[jenthebug]

I did it!

2.5 miles of green foothills, beautiful red rocks, and surprisingly hard hiking! (The trail was marked as “easy,” I think the problem is more that this is my first hike since my cancer diagnosis than that it was mislabeled)

Beautiful little flowers 💕 I love flowers so much

More of the rock formations, they were so cool!

The sky was looking spicy; it started to rain as soon as I got back to the car

Victory! Here’s me all sweaty and gross and DONE

Next time, I’ll try a hike closer to me; this state park is about an hour away and the drive honestly sucks.

Now I’m home, being a piece of furniture until I muster up the motivation to make veggie soup. I might soak my sore muscles in a hot bath and change into jammies first.

[jenthebug]

Speaking of pizza!!

The only reason I survived that job is because I spent my downtime studying the map. (There were no smartphones back then)

I memorized the street rotation. I’d read it over and over; “Quebec, Quince, Roslyn, Rosemary, Syracuse, Spruce…” on and on until Chambers Road.

I knew where the map went wonky. I studied those parts HARD. That way, I didn’t have to memorize turn by turn directions. If I’d had to do that, I’d have been fucked.

Anyway, I still know the whole street rotation from Quebec to Chambers and the whole pizza delivery area, even though it’s been 23 years.

My sense of direction is impeccable. I’ve made 4 geography mistakes in my time with the Big City. I’ve been ashamed of all of them and studied hard to mitigate them.

I’d be fucked if it weren’t for my directional talent.

I can tell that I’m facing north right now. I’m downstairs in the basement. I can superimpose maps of places that I know (the upper level of the house, my neighborhood, my hometown) over unfamiliar places and find my way.

It’s a great talent to have. Directions and writing, those are my talents. I wish dispatching was one of them, but it’s not, and that just means I have to work harder to learn each system that I dispatch.

[jenthebug]

Oh.

OH!

I just realized something.

All my jobs from like 2002 on?

They’ve all followed a pattern.

Wait for something to happen (a pizza order, a line at my ride, a phone call, a demand from my child, a customer, an emergency), then respond to it.

Before that, I had an office job where I had a stack of work and a deadline. I was *horrible* at that shit. I was on livejournal all day, lol fuck that.

I need that *ping* to remind me to DO TASK. Just seeing the tasks piled up beside me was simultaneously not enough to get me to work, and overwhelming.

My bariatric clinic job was the first job in decades where I had to be self directed. I set timers and reminders for my side work, preparing charts and other tasks. I for some reason hyper focused on my boxes, the project where I had to clear out medical records. So I survived that.

But yeah. I work best (one could argue that “I only work”) when I’m prompted to do a task.

Never ever let me apply for a lieutenant position, by the way.

Holy crap, big puzzle piece has been placed in the puzzle that is my brain.

[jenthebug]

I have decided that I’m going hiking tomorrow.

(I’m going to a state park with burrowing MF owls!!)

The plan is to go to the state park, hike a 2.5 mile loop, take lots of pictures, and be home before The Weather (tm) shows up. Tomorrow is supposed to be our only not-hot day, with highs in the mid 70s and afternoon storms.

I’m so stoked. And I have therapy, so I can tell my therapist that I did a heckin self care.

I’ll have to bring food and sunscreen and water. I have a neat little cooler bag from work that will hold all three.

I’m catching up on chores and errands today so I don’t have to worry about them tomorrow. All I have to do is hike, make soup (maybe), be a piece of furniture for a few hours, do therapy, and then be done.

[jenthebug]

Workout:

Warmup - 30 jumping jacks

Lower body -

30 body weight squats

8 walking lunges

30 second plank

😅

DUDE OUCH that workout is short but it’s effective!

[jenthebug]

this is everything to me 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💕

[jenthebug]

road tunes tag game

Rules: You just got an old car and it doesn’t have Bluetooth. You can only buy seven cds and you can’t repeat an artist. What are you getting?

tagged by @purpledemoncat - thank you!! this was fun!

Twice - With YOU-th (gotta have Twice, absolutely need some kpop in the rotation no matter who I'm road tripping with, and this one has my absolute favorite song, I Got You)

Garth Brooks - No Fences (because nothing can scratch the country music urge except country music)

Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First (AUS or JP version - these versions have Shattered Faith, which is the best Bad Religion song ever)

Jimmy Eat World - Clarity (because I'm a big ol' emo at heart and Clarity scratches the itch perfectly and carries me away to daydream land)

Rush - The Spirit of Radio: Greatest Hits 1974-1987 (because Rush, even though it doesn't have Bravado, which is my favorite Rush song; I'd burn a CD but it's against the rules)

Beastie Boys - Ill Communication (like country music, nothing can scratch the rap music urge except rap music, and Ill Communication is fucking TIGHT)

Pet Shop Boys - Please (because sometimes you just gotta get really gay with it)

I tag @fatmaninalittlesuit @robinruns @maria-the-ghoul @socalledmixtapelife @thedeadwontsleep @lucysweatslove and ANYONE else who wants to do this! Please! Let me look through your CD wallets!

[jenthebug]

Workout:

Warmup - 20 minute, one mile walk

Upper body -

20 wall pushups

20 shallow angled pull ups with the TRX

20 crunches on an exercise ball

20 lat pull downs, 40 lbs

(It was about at this point that I had a lack of planning hangry emergency and went to qdoba)

[jenthebug]

What I have to do today:

Work out

Go to the uniform store

Go to the library

Go to the other library

Buy Husband a six pack for Father’s Day

Dishes

What I want to do today:

Take a day trip to Breckenridge with Cory (but I don’t have that kind of spending money)

What I am doing right now: