jeremyscotteaton

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 106: A Preacher and a Cop in a Church

Lately, there has been a video circulating on social media regarding a cop-preacher who has called for the elimination and execution of gays.  This not only reminds me of the insane laws against ‘gender traitors’ from Gilead from a Handmaid’s Tale but I remember a time long ago when these was everyday.   Perhaps the man and his words stand out so much now because of how far we have come to except those around us.

I pity this man because he probably had something horrible happen to him as a child or has suppressed homosexual tendencies himself.  He needs to let those feelings out somewhere and this is the group that he has targeted for his frustration.  I wish that it was just his frustration that was disturbing but it is not.  He seems to be even paranoid that the gays are tampering with his food.  Regardless of if he was paranoid before, he should be now. 

He specifically targets men in his ‘sermon’.  This is what leads me to think that he has something deep inside of him that he is afraid to let out or some insecurity that is leading to such hateful extremes.  He talks about the man at the Clinique counter and how he has rejected God.  Can a man just do his job?  Many of these types of videos or even people set a fire off inside of the gay community along with their allies but they go to the same place that this man does - extreme hate.

You cannot combat this negativity in this way.  You have to approach the pain of a person like you would if a child was hurt because, most likely, that pain comes from their childhood.  Instead of throwing stones at this person, we should look into why he has these feelings and help this person heal.  He has obviously some form of phobia stemming from a trauma that he is suffering from. 

When we look at people as our brothers and sisters in the good and bad times, this type of hatred has no place.  When we start treating everyone with the same respect as you would God, there would be no war.  However, we, as a human race, can’t even let someone have their own idea of what gender or race God is.  It is sad to see this type of public display of hate.  My prayers are for this man and any closeted person in the congregation that lives in pain and lies everyday that they find peace.  Erase hate out of your heart and the world becomes heart-shaped peace sign. 

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 81: Becoming Unstoppable

About 10 years ago, we all remember wishing that we had the energy of a 7-10 year old. It is true that after 40 the body starts slow down a little but did you know that there is a way that you can remain unstoppable. Let’s say that you have figured out what you want to in life and you have settled into a house, are married and have 2.5 kids. In what areas do you feel you had more energy or more of yourself to give?

I like to look at areas that I get comfortable in and then make new choice. I love anything that is comfortable. This is why I love yoga. You are never comfortable or uncomfortable, the goal is to maintain a steady mind but a steady mind is not going from point A to point B in one straight line. I want to share some things that could possibly help anyone that wants to start to feel unstoppable.

1. Start a Routine

Routines can be a very helpful tool when trying to figure out what it is that is draining you or useless to you in your daily activities. I started to notice how much Netflix I was watching in a week or even in a single day. I started turning the television off while I working on projects or things that required my attention. I came to the realization that my mind was constantly trying to do two things at once. Once I finished the project or during breaks, I noticed that I was mentally more tired than I had began.

You have theoretically 16 hours to fill with all sorts of things with room for exactly 8 hours of sleep. How much of your day to fill with nonsense or things that literally work against you in your goals and what you want to achieve? I started writing everything that I was doing down in a journal listing the times that I did those things. Writing all your activities will bring to light certain triggers that you are feeling at certain times.

2. Eat Right

I am constantly worried about my weight and what the right thing to eat is. Several months ago, a friend of mine gave me a list of foods to eat and avoid as per my body type. I noticed that I was eating many foods that were not good for me. I have also cut down significantly on my meat consumption, maybe once every 2 weeks. I have been eating eggs every morning as a source of protein because lentils have not been doing for me. So, more power to the people that have cut out even eggs. Thinking of food as fuel instead of comfort helps you be more satisfied with what you eat.

Many, if not all nutritionist, will tell you that a balanced meal is one with carbohydrates, proteins and healthy fats. Cooking at home with simple ingredients lets you control the amount of oil and the proportion that you intake. Eating these at consistent times during the day will not only set you into a routine. I found that my body also started to form a routine of when it was hungry helping me to focus on other things instead of craving things like samosas and dosa.

3. Take Time for Recreation

Recreation is essential for a fulfilled life. Recreation does not include watching television, reading a book or anything that is using the brain to process or retain information. Taking a walk, playing with your dogs, playing a musical instrument or engaging in any hobby for your own enjoyment is the goal here. This should be a time where there are no right or wrong answers.

Many times we leave our jobs only to start our other full-time jobs in the home. Going to the grocery store, running the kids to all their functions and going board meetings fills the time that should be used to decompress from all the emotions and problem solving that has happened throughout the day. Instead we finish all these activities, eat and retreat to the couch or to the bed only to start all over again. Recreation is important to let go of any emotions that you may be holding on to from a conflict with a coworker or manager.

All of these things will help you in becoming unstoppable. The only person that can truly stop us is ourselves and we usually do that by exhausting ourselves of our own resources leaving us feel depleted at the end of the day. When we create a specific routine that serves us, we find purpose in the things that fill up our day. When we think of food as fuel we lose the food coma during the middle of the day. Then, when we take time for recreation, end the day doing something that we love and usually discover our gratefulness for everything that surrounds us.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 75: Dreaming Out Loud

When I’m finished with yoga school, I have a plan to open a yoga retreat/learning center. I am wanting to help families deal with stress to ultimately become better working units. They can then graduate from my certification program with the ability to help other families. My goal is to help parents to break the cycle of abuse and not pass it on to their children.

I am starting a yoga subscription program to reach families that are not able to be close geographically. This program will also be for the individual wanting to learn more about yoga and concentrate on their asana skills. I will have a curriculum so that the participants will be able to follow. I will provide coaching through phone calls. Parents will be able to accept their gay child. Children will be more compassionate towards their parents.

My dream doesn’t stop there. I want to train others to become teachers joining my mission in helping shape this world to make it a better place. This will be a mission that even school will be able to stand behind. Imagine a class of recent high school graduates walking into college with a marketable skill before they even start their first semester of college without a tremendous amount of debt. The cost will be affordable and also help me get out of student loan debt.

Having a two-month program to train teachers will make the program accessible to corporate workers, homemakers, students and people trying to take the leap into something new. These teachers will then become part of a network of teachers that schools and businesses can pull from to bring yoga to them. With the curriculum that I am building, there won’t be a person that won’t be able to participate and find some peace of mind. I plan to take the practice of yoga in mental institutions and prisons.

I have finally found something that I can dream big in. I am not in the shadow of someone else’s dream and I have no strings attached to anyone else and it’s beautiful. I am not dependent on the approval of a boss or a supervisor. I have mentors that are supportive of me and believe in me. This may be the first time in my adult life where I feel independent for the first time. Everything I have done is leading up to this moment. I feel the reigns in my hands and it feels incredible to know that I’m driving this train.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 70: Letting Go

Until we really know the impact of holding something negative, we will never know the effect that holding on to this emotion, feeling or grudge has on the mind and the body. I have written many times about negative situations that I don’t know what to with. In complete honesty, I just have to let the feelings, emotions, and grudges go. I have tried many techniques of letting these people be free from my mind so I am not carrying what they did to me around anymore. The things that people have done does not affect my karma and I do not have to continue reliving these events over and over.

People who have been abused or taken advantage of repeatedly start to form a pattern of abuse. They start to forget their worth and that they have a place in this world. Being a victim of this abuse myself, I can offer several ways that we can break this cycle and start to move on.

When you start to relive the emotions of your abuse, think about positive memories with that person or in general.

We often forget that we are in control of our emotions. We have the power to suppress emotions we don’t want to feel. Honestly, we do this all the time on a smaller scale. If you are tired of feeling or reliving the emotions of abuse, it may be the healthiest thing for you to do so that you can gain control back over your life. If you ever feel start to suicidal tendencies or thoughts about death after a traumatic event, please talk to a professional immediately.

Start writing in a journal.

Through personal experience, I started writing poetry in college and this help greatly in healing from the abuse I experienced in my childhood. I wrote very abstractly so that I could conceal what happened to me and it helped tremendously. My creative writing teacher encouraged my writing to help me heal. I wrote poems about being a puppet and talked a lot about garbage. This was the beginning of my journey and gave me the courage to seek professional help. Writing where no one will see it will help you see the reality of your situation and get it out of your brain and onto paper.

Write a letter to the person you are experiencing negative emotions and burn it.

As I said before, writing down your emotions on paper is a healing practice that gets the thoughts out of your mind and on paper. If this is something small or large, write a letter to the person that abused you. Be honest about your feelings and don’t censor your thoughts. Write until there is nothing left in your mind. Drink a lot of water during this process and make sure you are resting properly. After you have written everything you have in your mind, fold the letter, take it outside and burn it. There is a magical release that happens when you burn the letter. Again, this is a great way to release your thoughts.

Start writing down 10 positive points every day.

I write 10 positive things that have happened during the day or things that I am grateful for. This will start training your mind to think positively. At first, start small and remember that this is for you only. Many people write these in groups and start to run out of things to say because they are writing them for the others in the group and not themselves. Thinking positively will help you to see that tomorrow is another day full of exciting new things to happen. We all have bad days, but when we are present to the positive things that happen the good always outweighs the bad.

These are all things that I have tried in releasing my abusers from my mind. Adult abuse is nothing to be ashamed about and it doesn’t make you less of a person for being hurt. The thing to take from it is that you are not what your abusers say you are and you don’t have to be in the situation forever. Every day we wake up we have an infinite amount of possibility of different choices to make. People grieve and process in many different ways but these are some suggestions that worked for me. Also, remember that healing takes time and patience, so take things day by day and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 40: River

​In class yesterday, our teacher said, ‘When a river stays within its banks, it’s doing its duty.  However, when a river breeches it’s banks or levees, it destroys.’  I can’t help but think about how many people’s lives have been changed recently by the floods of the Missouri back home.  Mainly in Nebraska, people have lost homes, livestock and their livelihoods.  If the river would have stayed in its banks, none of these people would be going through this hardship right now.

When we apply this metaphor to our own lives, it gives a sense that we should stay in our own lane.  Perhaps we should mind our own business and let others do what they will.  Placing this in the context of our duty, we have to think about what our duty is.  Our duty to ourself, family, work, society and to our soul should be given the utmost importance above anything else.  In the modern sense, our duty is our bae.

Is your duty to make your husband’s tea every hour and a half?  Is your duty to be a servant in your household?  Is your duty to make babies and raise them to be a positive addition to this world?  Is your duty to just exist?  The only person that can answer that question is you.  However, you don’t need to search very far for it because you could be doing your duty just by reading this post.

I used to think that my duty was to help people with mental illness and thoughts of suicide.  I opened a non-profit and had a storefront and everything.  After a while, I learned that was not my duty.  My duty now is to be available but not get involved in people’s issues.  I can’t help but reference again that I was the guy with the glass that was half-full but there was nothing in the glass at all.  This reminds me a lot of the metaphor regarding the river.  I was flowing out of my own banks and did more damage than good.   

Although I didn’t lose a house or any livestock, I lost friends and look at that time as a very dark time in my life.  I could blame people.  I could blame circumstance.  However, I won’t.  I blame myself for not staying in my river banks flowing naturally down the stream.  Rivers flow but also destroy. 

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 39: Back to the Grind

It’s Monday!  That means getting this week started and for some it means doing the same thing over the next 5 days so that we can do nothing for 2 days.  Is this really how we live our lives?  Work, eat sleep and repeat over and over.  This life of monotony sounds terrifying to me.

This week Doug leaves for several weeks and I plan on making changes to my diet by doing a fast and cleanse.  I have a book that I am going to try to follow and if needed I will have my friend Reema help me.  Some of the ingredients I have not heard of before.   I am deeply dissatisfied with my body shape and weight.  I feel that what I’m putting in my body keeps putting me in dips of depression.  

Although, mostly what I have been putting in my body is completely good and clean, I recently celebrated a birthday so cake was involved.  (A lot of cake.  Thanks, Ronson and Mom!)  It is remarkable to have cut sugars so muchthat when I have had an abundance of it, I notice a difference in my mood.  Now that the birthday feasting on sweets is over, the focus of healthy eating is on the horizon.  As I sit through my anatomy class, it becomes confusing as to what is good and what is bad for you anymore.  I am listening to my body and it is not very happy.  

Are Monday’s a dreaded day or a day to be excited about?  Ultimately Monday’s are my favorite days.  I feel most motivated on Monday’s as this is the day that sets the week.  You can create all of your intentions and goals on this day.  You can even try something new to see how it works until the following Monday.  You can add that one thing in that you have been wanting to do.  I love Monday’s! 

Celebrate your Monday because it is a rebirth.  If you have a hard time getting into celebrating every morning for the simple fact that you woke up, then Monday is the perfect way to start.  You get the opportunity to start a new week however you want.  Switch things around.  Eat veggies for breakfast.  Do some sit-ups to start sweating first thing in the morning.  I’m starting with food being my focus this week.  I am going to start being present to what I am putting in my body.  This time next week, I hope I can look at myself and celebrate a goal being squashed.  

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 38: Hours in a Day

On Sundays, I am always restless.  It is a day to rest but it is also a day to get so much stuff done.  It is usually turns out to be a day where I ge to hang out with Doug doing some sort of massage and watching television.  It has recently turned into a day where I turn off my brain and just simply rest.  ​

During the week, I feel like I need about 4 more hours in the day to get more done.  I have stressed  heavily on getting the proper amount of rest so that I am not depriving myself of sleep.​  I do this for myself but my motivation has also been my students.   I would hate to be the first interaction someone has and it not be an inspiring or motivational one.  This also motivates me to be this person everyday.

I have been cooking food that is healthy or ordering food online that is health conscious.  There is a trend right now in Mumbai for these delivery only places that sell delicious simple food.  This allows for me to get more done in the day since I’m not in the kitchen cooking.  I love cooking and I like having the control of how much oil and salt goes into my food.  It brings peace of mind too to know that I have washed the vegetables properly before cooking. ​

​I want to be able to read more books and gain more knowledge.  In its place I have not been even turning on my television in the evening after I return home from class.  When I say television, I don’t mean benge watching a favorite Netflix show but more like turning on the news for background.  The news makes me restless.  It causes so much negativity in my mind regarding politics mostly.  It’s a sad corrupt world but sitting in front of the television listening to reports does nothing to solve the problem.so, I have opted to turn the television off as of late.

I know in my heart of hearts that I can’t do anything to change the amount of hours in the day, but I can choose how I fill those hours up.  I think it’s a common misconception to want to cram all the things we are learning our lives right now but it is important to be reminded that change take a lot of time.  Your commitment to change is just one water droplet on the stone.  It takes years to create the groove.  I am reminded while writing this that I need to enjoy the ride.  ​

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 35: Other People’s Problems

I have a personality that rescues people from their negative situations and tries to help others to be free from grief.  For the longest time, I was grief for my family.  I was into drugs, couldn’t hold a job and was very reckless with my life.  I went from not knowing who I was t knowing who I was and being ashamed of it.  Then, after I learned to be proud of who I was, I was shunned from the very group that pleads for acceptance.  

Changing who I was so that I could stay in my family home at the beginning of my high school freshman year was always to blame for my identity crisis in my early teenage years.  This problem followed me into my adult life as I always tried to change who I was to accommodate other people.  This became especially problematic when I became friends with manipulative people.  When people didn’t like me for just simply being me, I always used to think that it was my fault and I would change myself to accommodate them.

I was in a relationship in my early 20’s that really screwed me up.  I was cheated on by this person using my own computer.  He would find people online and chat with them.  Everyone in my circle of friends knew this and because he was the connection to the bar scene, I was the one that was outcast.  I literally went crazy by trying to drink myself to death and fell into depression using prescription drugs and illegal ones.  Even during this time, I was taken advantage of by friends that knew of the situation.   

After gaining my ground and stopping the drugs, I got on a plane and headed to San Francisco.  I was finally out of the vicious cycle that I thought would never end.  I eventually graduated from The Academy of Art University and moved back to the Midwest.  I got involved heavily with the community but was never really accepted by the gay community regardless of wanting to help with our local Pride Festival.  After noticing their disfunction, I realize that I am better off. 

I now realize that because of my past I am a strong person because of my past. I am an independent person because of my haters.  I am free because other people’s problems are not my own.  I have complete empathy for people in pain but I no longer have to take on their problems and carry them myself.  Knowing this could have saved me a lot of heartache and wasted time but this time was needed so that I get to be who I am today.

Namaste.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 34: Politics

It’s hard to look at politics without the media.  At every turn the news is reporting corruption, greed and disagreements between governments and its people.  It may seem hard to keep in an optimistic mindset when everything you see is destruction, protests and epidemics.  I am not sure how to exist with all of these things without getting my mind disturb.​

I have started turning off the television and have deleted my news application off of my phone. This helped for a while but like any addiction I relapsed and reinstalled my Apple News application back on my phone.  I am from an area of a lot of small mindedness and having people’s opinions shoved into my brain is tiring and frustrating.  I no longer try to defend or stick up for minority people because of the nastiness or argument that happens.  ​

Both sides are right regardless of one side being wrong.  Even if a person doesn’t see that ever human being on this planet is important and needed, you can make them see that.  Unfortunately, our news outlets don’t help as they have polarized themselves ​against each other.  Their job is not to have opinions of the news.  They should simply report what is happening as fact without the reporter’s commentary.  However, I respect their opinion and don’t feel that any of them are wrong.  

For example, these days, you can have a blue pen writing in blue ink and someone will believe that what they are seeing is a black pen writing in black ink.  Both sides are right.  Fairly recently, there was a dress that some people saw one color and others saw another.  I felt that the social media experience was quite timely as the same things are happening in the news and in people’s views or opinions of the news being reported.  Some people see a humanitarian crisis and other’s see an invasion at the border.  Again,  both are right.​

When we hold our opinions very high, we forget that it is the ego that makes this importance.  Therefore, is it really important.  People forget if they shut their televisions off and stop watching the news as a soap opera, the news will still keep reporting.  Your life doesn’t have to be effected by the reports of sadness or corruption.  It is your duty to vote not to wrap your emotions so close to your body that others can have their own opinion.  In the end, take a deep breath and realize that most of this stuff propaganda.​

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 33: Peace

In class, we have been talking a lot about the practice of detachment.  I feel this is so relevant in America because we talk about the good old days and this town is like this and like that.  Our attachment to how things used to be or how we think things should be is such a harmful way of looking at things.  Can we contain a span of time into a capsule and keep everything the same?

​I recently watched a documentary series called Wild Wild Country.  Basically, a guru from Pune, Maharashtra, India came to the US to promote a place of peace and transformation.  They found a place in Oregon and the town, neighbors and then the media treated these people horribly.  While watching it makes me cringe because I know people that speak the way they do of change, people of color and anything different or outside of their box. 

I don’t believe these people are wrong so I have compassion for both.  However, the peaceful side I tend to gravitate towards.  Ignorance is hard to correct but realize that it has to be there for intelligence to exist.  Most people react the way that the people of Oregon towards the sinyasins out of fear.  They were fearful of them changing their small, little quiet town.  They were so fearful that they eventually a man set off an explosion trying to kill them and damage their property.  This was in the 70’s and we haven’t come far from this way of thinking.  It’s very sad but proof that change takes a lot of time.​

This ties into my post yesterday regarding the student at Missouri Western State University.  The Muslims are not what the west paints them to be.  Of course, all groups of people have bad apples just as Americans but that should paint the broad picture of all people.  Having travelled many places in this world, Muslims are not the people to be feared.  The people who are to be feared are the people that combine money and power.  In this age, fear the fact that money can buy you influence, humans and anything else you could dream of. 

When we look at this in ​regards to detachment, you don’t own even the memories that you have attach to a place or emotion.  Detachment is a power all on its own. If you can detach from your routines and celebrate change there would be less mass shootings and war.  You have people expanding their minds rather than closing them.  Until then, we are stuck reading about how fear got someone shot and killed.  Detach from what you fear, first.  Then, try to detach from what you love.  In some cases, both are equally hard to let go of.  

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 32: Small Minds, Big Chnage

​I recently read in an article about a young girl in St Joseph, MO that respectfully asked a visitor why they would think that it was ok to wear a MAGA hat.  She is of Muslim faith and a black woman.  I would love to dream of a day when these labels are loved and celebrated but, unfortunately, today is not that day.

After, asking the 17 year old to remove the cap, he did.  It wasn’t until an ‘older gentleman’ told the boy to put it back on that the visitor realized that he has this privilege to wear such a cap.  A red cap with the words Make America Great Again is simply a piece of marketing material.  If you know anything about marketing it has replaced the ways of artists.  It should provoke emotion out of you both negatively and positively.  Emotionally, the red hat represents something like a confederate flag.  ​It would take ignorance to not be sensitive for what that flag has come to represent.  

The woman just lost brothers and sisters in Christchurch, NZ and the wounds are still fresh for her.  I would imagine this would bring a sense of panic to anyone.  The Muslim faith feels this loss of their brothers and sisters.  The victims were targeted while the shooter was wearing a MAGA hat.  That is something that everyone should, at the very least, be sensitive to if not sympathetic.  ​

We have moved into an area where people can’t express their feelings without being categorized as ‘too sensitive’.  It is my opinion that the older man had the opportunity to allow the visitor to have a learning moment, but instead tried to interject his own beliefs.  The visitor, at the age of 17, cannot vote.  What business does he have wearing a MAGA hat in the first place?  The female student was respectful until after the older gentleman interrupted their potentially beautiful moment.  ​

Looking through social media, people want to read the negative comments like fuel on a fire rather than being sensitive to a loss.  How did we come to this?  A man that is divisive and could care less what happens to America after he leaves office.  Regardless of your political views, we are in for some dark times after President 45 leaves.  He’ll start building his Trump Tower in Moscow and the rest will be history.  ​

So, if you feel like tackling an issue, let’s try compassion and kindness.  The entire word could use a little more of that.  The woman could have kept silent and let ignorance exist among her but she shouldn’t have to.  We are too evolved to let that happen.  Our older generation should get used to change and surrender to the fact that after they all die, the world is in our hands to gently give to the next generation.  The selective acknowledgement way of thinking reminds me of times I have read about during segregation.  People knew that segregation was wrong but very few spoke up about the injustice that it was.  Do we go back to a time where we put our habits back on to shield us from the wrong in the world but peek to see when the drama is really good.  It’s all too disgusting.

I guess I have evolved to a space where I don’t see why we can’t just look at all humans as the same.  ​We all have a short amount of time to live on this Earth.  Why do we have to fill it with divisions and hate.  It makes no sense.  Having lots of money doesn’t make you entitled to make this world your own.  In the end, no one owns this Earth.  Let’s try to be compassionate towards our fellow human beings because you never know when that person just might be the person that you need the most.  

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 31: My Actual Birthday

I spent my birthday completely in a peaceful relaxing way.  I sat by the pool, ate amazing food and spent the day with my partner, Doug, and my friend, Ronson.  In the morning, I had breakfast with Elizabeth and Ali.  My friend, Ali, shared a new talent that she has discovered.  She is now venturing into song writing.

Her song is absolutely amazing.  The song sounds like the title needs to be, All Around Me.  It was such a joy to hear this new found talent.  She is talented in many ways with her crafts, guitar ability and the way she shows such grace while entertaining.  She even made me a bowl by sewing rope together.  My friends and the staff at the apartments made a brownie dessert with ‘Happy Birthday, Jeremy’ written in chocolate.  

My friend Ronson had made plans to go to some cafes in Colaba, but we ended up hanging out at my apartment by the pool and enjoying the heat and sun.  We listened to music while we were at the pool. We all started to get hungry so it was time to eat something.  We went to Crafters in Hiranandani and got reflexology at a place called Happy Feet.  My feet were definitely happy after that. 

I went to bed reflecting on how incredibly blessed I am for my friends and for my partner, Doug.  The day didn’t need any impressive party or balloons.  It was a perfect birthday.  I was dissconnected from social media and was completely present to everything around me.  To be 39 feels exciting and scary all at the same time.  Here’s to the journey of turning 40.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 30: Clarity

After reviewing this month’s blogs, I have realized that I have been writing in a way that is not documenting my life, but is giving my readers advice that wasn’t asked for.  I have way more to say than telling everyone how to live their life.  After practice of Karma Yoga this morning, I had this sudden clarity when I finished that I don’t need to write like someone is going to read it.  

When posting on Facebook , it feels amazing when everyone is commenting and liking on my posts but I don’t need to curate my material so that it is click-worthy or likeable.  In some ways, I have stepped into another layer of being me.  Please don’t get me wrong.  I love it when people read my posts and blogs and ask questions or for advice.  I will always be there for that.  I’m saying that getting people to like or comment won’t be a motivator anymore for my posting or writing.  

I believe I have fallen into the validation loop that social media experts keep talking about.  It hurts sometimes to know that I have over 3,000 Facebook friends with about 95% of them I have met in person and only 2% of them react or engage.  This is even worse on Instagram.  I’m sure there is some algorithm that is pushing my profile down or making it nonvisable.  I find that social media is completely exhausting but you have to have it for credibility and marketing anymore.  

Sometimes, I wonder if my life is interesting and then I ask the question, “Why does that matter?”  I went from no stamps in my passport less than 4 years ago to a passport that is almost full.  I have seen so many things and checked off so many boxes on my bucket list.  I find it hard to believe sometimes that my life is real.  I am grateful for everything and everyone that has helped make it possible or supported me along the way.  

As I sit on my couch on this Birthday Eve, I am reminded of all the things I am grateful for and all the things that I cherish.  Most of these things are in memory form in my mind or in photographs.  All the people that I have met and shared a smile with in the countries I have visited will remain in my heart forever.  The most valuable lesson I have learned in all of this is that the people with less material things to worry about are generally happier and more friendly.  They remain an inspiration as it is their lives that are truly interesting and they don’t need to post on Facebook or write a blog.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 29: Detachment

Everyone deserves the most happiness a person can possibly feel in this life.  Regardless of any situation, we owe it to ourselves and others to simply let go of anything that keeps us away from that happiness.  There are many techniques that you can use to find your deserved happiness.  Yoga suggests detachment or vairagya.

Many people are involved in relationships that don’t make them happy. A father-son relationship could be toxic if neither are willing to let go of their horrible past.  Two friends that use each other for various things could be toxic if one feels used.  A romantic relationship could be toxic if substance abuse is present.  These relationships all have one thing in common.  Both people in these situations have the freedom to walk away.

When we talk about detaching, most people think about it in this bitter way where there are still negative emotions related to the situation.  If you are truly letting go and detaching from the situation there are no emotions attached to the person or the circumstance.  You see the person as a human being and meet them with understanding regardless of the pain that they have caused you.  I feel I have done the opposite in the past.  Actually, I know that I have done completely the opposite.   

When someone caused me pain, I would retaliate or have some sort of huge blow up.  Sometimes, I would just walk away with anger, disappointment and sadness.  Recently, I accept the people who have wronged me.  It must be a sad life in Washington and the heart of LA to have to constant lay worry about what lies and secrets they hold.  As I have mentioned before, that’s not my karma.  If they really sat back and thought about where their Drama Llama really comes from, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out.

Regardless of the circumstance, my detachment from these people and feelings keep me on the right path, my own.  There was a quote recently that I read saying, “If you don’t build your own dreams, someone will hire you to build yours.”  That is such a profound statement.  When we settle and blame others for not living our own dream, we die making sure that someone else’s dream is a reality. 

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 28: ReWire

We are almost done with the first quarter of the year and most of us are still the same person we were last year.  We made resolutions to lose weight.  We made anti-resolutions to be a little more outspoken.  We made tiny affirmations that we would change something about ourselves this year.  How many of us still have that change in the forefront of our minds and work everyday to try and change that one thing that we thought so hard on just three short months ago?

The truth is maybe, optimistically, 2% of the people that got their gyms memberships and ‘changed’ their diet are not going to the gym.  They are probably even still paying for their gym memberships thanks to autopay.  Their ‘diet’ has given way to their lifestyle that hasn’t changed with fast food and running kids from place to place.  Most households eat when they can.  They don’t have the planned dinner with everyone sitting around the table asking how everyone’s day was.  I know that my family doesn’t do that. 

If your resolution was to change something about your personality, you probably have a harder road ahead of you than just stating this hopeful change while drinking champagne and eating smoked meat on crackers.  Our personality is something that is very hard to change.  In fact, we are wired from birth to react to our environments, people and situations in certain ways.  Less than the two percent that bought their gym memberships at the beginning of the year are heading to the path of enlightenment. 

Changing is like multitasking in many ways.  Change starts with one thing first.  In yoga class, we were told about the water drip that eventually broke the stone.  Changes within our selves are done the same way.  One drop at a time starts to carve the stone.  After a long time of repetition the water starts to make a hollow in the rock.  Then, after some more time the stone bares a hole or it breaks.  The same principle applies with canyons and rivers.  

While we are all on our own path, it is hard to ignore that we are all the same in the fact that we are slow to change and fast to respond.  We are in a world of such instant gradification that we expect change to happen overnight.  I have witnessed people be cured from diseasse.  I have heard stories of people going from a criminal to a saint.  I have seen people go from depression to unicorn including myself.  All of these stories were drips of water hitting a stone for years before a difference even started to surface.  Even a river takes centuries to make a canyon.  Regardless of how monumental the change, be realistic and be persistent.

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 27: Power and Freedom

There once was a man that had all the money, fame and friends a person could ever dream of.  He had the car, the house, the relationship, the body, the thick wallet and a robotic vacuum.  He was always surrounded by people and it seemed that everyone liked him.  Everything was glitter and gold in his life.  On the outside, everything seemed to be perfect.  He bathed in power because all of these things, but was he really free?  Freedom came at a price this man, with all his money, could not afford.  

With more money comes more problems and bills.  Even if you think about affording one of the most expensive cars in the market, you have to think about the maintenance on them being expensive as well.  If you have the house of your dreams, most likely it’s not a one-room cabin with a compost toilet and an ant problem.  Luxurious material goods require more money spent on them even after the initial purchase.  How amazing does that life sound now?

With this fame I see the ‘Instagram Influencers’ paying desperately for like and follows, it seems counterproductive to be pouring money into a product that you are preaching integrity about.  Creating fake testimonials, paying for reviews and hiring bot farms to reply to posts seems to miss the point of being a true influencer.  However, these hacks still try to preach honesty on a platform built on lies. 

In my experience, the more money and fame a person has the more favors they owe to others for that money and fame.  People form alliances to hold lies, some people have no clue they are even involved in a lie and some people live with the lies for the sake of life being easier.  In my opinion, this is, textbook, the job of a politician.  Having to keep track of all the alliances and the favors rendered would be exhausting.

How would anyone ever dream of all of this as something they would aspire to?  The fact is, this is the dream of so many in the world today.  We desire fame, 100 likes and all the money so that we can be happy or worthy.  In the digital world, most of what we see can’t be trusted anymore.  Our news gives validation to a platform that is built on, for the most part, fake followers.  We get fed these empty calories on a daily basis and eat them without even thinking about it.  Being content with where I am is an understatement at the present moment.  I am completely content being the robotic vacuum sucking up all the dog hair and pennies.  

[jeremyscotteaton]

Day 26: Transparency

Transparency is a sort of buzz word these days.  Corporates, governments and people in general are using this word as a weapon and others are using it to get information that all deserve and, have the right to,  know.  When does this word become something that is hurtful?

I believe in unfiltered honesty. This culture of sparing someone’s feelings or belonging to some political alliance is bullshit.  There are so many times that the truth can’t be said because of others feelings, reputation or place in society.  I have a had politicians tell me in situations where there is clearly wrongdoing that they can’t be involved for fear of what it could do to their chances of taking a seat on a council or office.   

This makes me question their integrity and their intentions.  Unfortunately, we live in a world where a reality television star gets to hold office because of the fact he was on television.  I wasn’t even thinking about the Mueller Report but I guess this ties in here as well.  What don’t we see because it is classified?  And, what don’t we see because it could damage someone’s reputation? 

This is especially hurtful when this is someone that was my friend.  It should also be said that I can’t stand fake people.  I’m talking about the ones that to your face are engaged in what you are doing, then, the moment you stop writing checks, the calls stop coming in.  I am completely baffled that the people in the nonprofit world work in this way.  A group of people with horrible intentions can still do good after all.  

So, if you are looking to be transparent in a way that says that you tell the truth regardless of the outcome, I want to know you.  I want to know what brought you to that place.  Unfortunely, I’m one of those people that can’t lie, because my body language will tell you when I am doing so.  Are you transparent like ocean water on the shores of Mumbai or of Sri Lanka?