jessieistheshizz-blog-blog
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A man can get physically stuck inside a woman during sex. It’s usually caused by vaginal spasms. The medical term for this interlocking is ‘penis capitus’.
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A letter to the guy I thought was the love of my life
A letter to the guy I thought was the love of my life, How do I even begin... I thought you were the love of my life. No one had ever treated me the way you did. The little surprises and the constant I love you messages and presents. The snuggles and all the time we spent together. I loved you with all that I had. You were my favorite person and I could go to you about anything. You meant the world to me and I would have given up anything to keep you happy. You were my main priority and I couldn't picture my life without you, but now I have to. Because Little did i know you didn't actually love me. Someone in love doesn't do what you did to me. Someone in love doesn't just abandon a relationship. But, little did i know, towards the end it wasn't me you were thinking about. While I was worried about you and wanting you to be happy with your life and with us, you were worried about her. While I sat at home and hoped you got enough sleep before your next night shift you weren't actually sleeping, but doing who knows what, with her. While I sat on your floor and cried as you told me you just didn't love me anymore, you were just worried about going see her. As I drove home barely being able to see because of the tears falling from my eyes, you had left right after to go see her. While I sat alone and missed you, and wanted to be with you, and wondered if you missed me, you didn't because you were with her. Wondering if you realize how much it hurt me that you left me for her. Or how truly happy I tried to be for you but little did i know you were sleeping with her. All of the tears and nights sitting up not knowing what to do with myself, you didn't deserve them. All of the worry I had for you, you didn't deserve it. The love that I tried my hardest to show you I had for you, you sure didn't deserve it. And me worrying about you for another second of my life, you don't deserve it. You don't deserve me being sad over you because you had no remorse for what you did to me. You don't deserve the love and life that I could have given you because you threw it out for some girl who probably has more than just you. But most of all, you don't deserve me, you never deserved me. All I did and would have done for you was all a waste because you never loved me. You have no appreciation for the fact that I completely changed who I was just for you. I spoke to no one, out of respect for you. But clearly you prefer someone who goes out and sleeps with whatever she can find. I'm sorry that's not me. I shouldn't be apologizing to you, you don't deserve my apologies. After this day, you are nothing but a lesson to me. A lesson on how you shouldn't put your all into someone who won't give you half. A lesson on how you cannot put all of your faith and trust into someone who cannot do the same for you. A lesson on how sometimes no matter how hard you try, to some people you'll never be "good enough". But you know what? I am good enough. I am tom good for you. I deserve better than you and when the time is right I will find someone who sees me as a treasure. And wouldn't leave me if it means the end of the world,because that's love, and I deserve that. In time you will realize how much I cared, and how wrong you are for doing what you did to me. But by then you will just be a time in my past. A shadow in the near darkness that is my past and I won't hurt anymore. I won't be mad and I simply won't care. Because I will find someone who wants nothing more than for me to be happy. I'm not mad at you, and I wish I could hate you but I don't. I don't love you anymore or at least that's what I'm telling myself. But none of it matters because I have no respect for you or the person you choose to be. I believed in you and I saw you as better than that, but we cannot make choices for others. All we can do is hope that at some point in life they realize they have some growing up to do. As I was ready to settle down and have my own little family all you wanted was to go out, drink, and sleep with the next female that walked by, because that's the "single life" and clearly way better than having someone who would give their life for you. But we can all see things in our own way. In the end I choose to see this as a part of my life that was meant to teach me. I see this as part of my life that was meant to show me that not everyone is what you think. And most importantly I see this as a part of life that was meant to show me what I truly do deserve. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, and i will be tough. I will be strong and I will come past this, because I deserve better than you, and I will find better than you. Good luck in your life and the paths you choose to walk. We are going our separate ways and I am choosing the high road. In time we will cross each others paths again but we will not be old lovers or ex-boyfriend and girlfriend, but we will be old acquaintances. Who wanted different things and one of us had to get a broken heart to see that. You are not an ex or what I thought was my one true love, but you are a life lesson. Enjoy your endeavors, but remember what you've done to me, and remember what we could have had. Because in time, I will have that, with someone who truly does love me.
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