jessiejohn

[jessiejohn]

July 5, 2023

Continuously, the world just feels against you. But despite that, you wanted to see something good in it. With the first entry for this day, it is hard to say, but it just so happened that things like that are inevitable, and it is an exhibit a. Watching a series made me realize you should get out and look at the possibilities, which are tremendous. It is a matter of whatever theories combined together, for example, chaos theory, would bring drastic change within, but you get to choose something for yourself that will help you set your future on a path that you choose. It is a process that you start as a cacoon and wait for; time is all that it takes. You are where you imagined yourself to be. From here to there, the places you have gone through have left a mark and pollinated. So be a butterfly in the butterfly theory; make that one whole tornado in every flap of your wings, and you will see that in every bad situation there will be a good one in the future.

[jessiejohn]

Life sucks, and why am I alive? Some of you may think, "Ha! He is a nihilist." For fuck’s sake, it is really hard to find life’s purpose because, upon opening my eyes every day, I know nothing, like everything from yesterday was forgotten. Maybe that is the purpose of sleep, entering some fantasy and being Don Quixote, pretending that everything has a meaning, that imagination can overshadow problems. At least he had Sancho Panza. Upon waking up every day, reiterating the similar actions I did yesterday: not living and not finding that purpose. Then, I realized it is dreadful to live by the idea of a thing because living by the idea makes you expect things that mostly end up not happening.

[jessiejohn]

I have been thinking, is it not mind blowing how things we wanted the most are hard to reach and money does not have a say in this. To the point, we ought to dream the impossible at least in a dimension, no matter how relentless we are in real life there is a possibility of achieving something we mostly desire. Most of the time, I forget what I have and the purpose of why I have them, though I have seen how the law of attraction worked: longing for something so bad even the impossible would make a way to give it to you. Maybe and maybe there is the fate that has predetermined what we deserved the most and who shall receive it.

[jessiejohn]

Turtles

The mortality rate of turtles surviving is one percent as they hatch until they swim in the sea, so basically one in a hundred. As they come back every 15 years to lay their eggs, they have a memory of their home and where they came from. The wave of the sea is the wave that could lead them to their home. Most likely, turtles release eggs around the middle of the night. They will dig using their flippers to a height of around a foot. Then the next day, people will hunt the eggs by looking into the turtle’s footprints and placing them in a more convenient hatchery. Turtle mentality defeats the purpose of crab mentality by helping each turtle come out of the so-called incubator in the sand by waiting for everyone to break out of their shells and helping them get out of the sand. Turtles usually eat jellyfish, which is why the increasing amounts of plastic are concerning since their bodies could not digest the plastic. That is why the tagline "Save the turtle" grew. 

[jessiejohn]

Diary

May 23rd 2022

I am a very hard-headed person. I walked for like four minutes in order to get a swim in the sea. Unfortunately, in front of the picked resort, there is a depth that cannot be swum. It was enjoyable to walk that distance. I saw a photographer taking a photo of a couple, people who I felt I was being called on to, and I think a mother and son, or maybe just a company or sister, are having a big smile while the wave is approaching. I joined them then sand came into my six-pocket shorts, such a boomer. 

After I came back, I grabbed a bag of Doritos and again walked towards the sea. I saw my aunt, who came from the states, taking photos with my cousin, who was leaving. The feeling of how bouncy the sand is made me write this.

I am at the backshore and my brother and parents are having the greatest time. Then I sat in the hammock looking at how amazing everything is. The sun is setting and a bottle of Pale Pilsen, a bag, a phone, and a wallet are placed on the table in front of me that is made out of bamboo. This is how I enjoy my day. This is how I want everything to be remembered.

[jessiejohn]

Diary

It is May 18th.

Yesterday I was able to get my panoramic x-ray, which I was so invested in getting my teeth done. Apparently, as expected, I got 2 impacted wisdom teeth. Is it not a boomer? But that's life, I guess. I'm planning on studying for a college entrance exam this summer, and I hadn't decided on a course until recently, when I realized that part of me wanted to be a nurse, and there was also the possibility of moving out of the Philippines.

Then a few days later, since summer had just begun, my mother and I got along. My mother is the sweetest. I am my mother’s baby boy as always. She would tell me stories about Grandpa and how if he was still alive, he would not let us do this or that. She is a great daughter and a mother, and if she was a badass as a teenager, she certainly is now. She has a great sense of style but still doesn't want me to dress whatever I like, I am 18 already. Anyway, whenever she asked what I wanted to eat if McDo, Jollibee, or something similar. I'M EVEN FAT RIGHT NOW. Yeah, she would rather see me eat than her eat. That's my weakness. My brother and I are so lucky that we experienced this kind of stuff because she hasn't.