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jesslxox-blog · 6 years
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I’ll make your dreams come true (smut)
Please give me feedback on this! it’s my second smut ever and i don’t know what to think about it.
Warnings : smut, oral (both receiving)
2090 words
« Please » you moaned, squirming around the bed, « Please ». He was teasing you, barely touching you, wanting to turn you into a writhing mess. « What do you want from me? » he asked, his voice deep and raspy. « Ben I want you, please » You whined and he chuckled, his hands sliding up your thighs, stopping when he reached the hem of your tight shorts. He tugged them down along your panties. He spread your legs and his face got closer and closer to where you needed him the most-
A hand lightly shaking your shoulder woke you up. Your eyes met Ben’s and you cursed under your breath. Hopefully you didn’t moan out loud.
« Hey, you okay? » He asked with a hint of concern in his eyes.
« Um yeah, I’m… um… good » you muttered, trying to focus on his eyes so your eyes wouldn’t drift down to his toned arms and chest. « What’s up? », you tried to play it off as if you weren’t moaning his name in your sleep a minute ago.
« I don’t know, you were tossing around and-»
« I guess I was having a nightmare » you nervously chuckled and you saw a flash of realization in his eyes. You were fucked.
« Do you moan a lot in your nightmares? » he smirked, crossing his arms on your bed and placing his head on his folded arms, watching you intensely.
You guys shared a bunk bed, you were sleeping in the one at the top and he slept under you, so of course he heard everything.
« I don’t know what you’re talking about » you nervously chuckled as his fingers running up and down your arms.
« Don’t you? » he raised an eyebrow and you shook your head. « Maybe you don’t remember the part where you moaned my name then? » he asked in a smirk and you blushed instantly.
« I don’t- I didn’t… » you stuttered but he cut you. « Don’t lie to me, how about you tell me what I was doing to you instead? » he tilted his head to the side, his face getting closer to yours. « Come on, don’t be shy. Who knows, I could make your dreams come true », he whispered and you let out an almost inaudible moan.
« You were about to go down on me » you mumbled quickly under your breath. 
« What was that? » he asked with a cocky smile, he heard you very well but he still wanted you to say it again.
« You were about to go down on me » you repeated, a little louder. 
« If that’s what you wanted, why not just ask? » he said, walking to the end of the bed and yanking you by the ankles so your legs would be dangling off the bed. His face was on your thighs’ level and his hands slowly went up to take your pajama shorts off. “I’ll make your dreams come true". He kissed your inner thighs, one after the other, slowly going up to your panties. You let out a moan but he hushed you, remembering you that you weren’t alone in the room, but sharing it with yours and Ben’s squad, which meant ten other people were sleeping around you peacefully, and the high risk of being caught just made you even more aroused.
« Please », you muttered in a moan, and he quickly ripped your panties off, pulling your thighs so your core would meet his mouth. You slapped your hand on your mouth to muffle your moans as his lips met your heat, his tongue slipping between your folds to spread your arousal. His hands pinned your hips down to stop you from writhing around as his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking on it as his tongue flicked at the swollen nub. Your squirmed around at every soft flick of his tongue, his grip on your hips tightening to keep you steady.
His mouth left your clit, your tongue circling your entrance before he pushed it in. Your back arched and your hands flew to his hair, trying to make him go deeper. His tongue brushed your sensitive walls and you squealed, his mouth quickly leaving your core, making you feel empty.
« You need to be quiet, or I’ll stop » he warned and you mumbled a quick « yes ». 
He gripped your thighs again but instead of using his tongue, he shoved two fingers into you and you had to put the pillow over your face to keep yourself from moaning out too loudly.
He pumped his fingers at a fast pace and his lips wrapped around your clit for a second time, sucking harshly. Your legs clamped shut around his head but he used his free hand to open them again. His fingers curled inside of you, brushing against your walls and prodding your g-spot continuously. 
Ben grinned against your clit, his fingers speeding up, shoving them in until he was knuckles deep. « You like that? » You squealed in response, Ben chuckling. His breath hit your clit, causing you to shake violently. « You should cum for me then. » He sucked on your clit again, his tongue writing his name on your nub. You were losing all motor functions, your body shaking heavily. « Come on. Cum for me baby ». It’s all it took for you to let out a filthy moan and come all over his fingers, his tongue cleaning up the mess you’ve made.
« Oh my god » you sighed as you came down from your earth shattering high as his hands were rubbing your inner thighs in a soothing motion, but it just made you even more aroused. You needed him.
You sat up and got your panties back on, jumping off your bed and landing on your feet in front of him. As soon as you faced him he gripped your hips and yanked you toward him, your body crashing on his. Your lips collided with great force, the kiss full of need and lust. He bit your lower lip and you moaned, and he slipped his tongue between your parted lips. He hoisted you up and you wrapped your legs around his hips, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he started walking towards the bathroom without breaking the kiss. He stopped next to his bed to grab something in his bag before walking to the bathroom you shared with the other members of your squads.
He let you reach the floor and interrupted the kiss to take off his shirt while you yanked his sweatpants off his legs and he kicked them off his feet. You could see his hardened length creating a bulge in his boxers, begging to be set free. 
You dropped on your knees in front of him, his jaw clenching in realization of what was to come. You looked up at him innocently, your finger pulling at the hem of the boxers and let them snap back against his hot skin. He hissed in pleasure, his hand going to caress your face. You caught his thumb between your lips and you swirled your tongue around it, his hand gripping your jaw. You sucked on his thumb for a few seconds before he retreated his hand.
« How about you show me the full potential of that pretty little mouth of yours huh? » he groaned and you nodded before sliding his boxers down his legs. His hard length slapped his stomach, and you gripped him in your hands, pumping slowly. Your mouth met his tip, tongue slipping out to collect the precum that was already leaking from his slit. You wrapped your lips around his swollen tip and sucked on it harshly before letting it go with a “pop” to run your tongue on the vein of the underside of his cock. You took him back in your mouth, going deeper this time. Once he tapped the back of your throat you hollowed your cheeks and started bobbing your head up and down. 
Ben was letting out the sexiest moans, and you clamped your legs shut to try to relieve the pressure that was rising in your core. His hands went to your hair, creating a ponytail. He pushed your head so you could take him a little deeper, and with his hands he set the pace, a bit rougher and faster than the pace you were going at. 
With a particularly rough thrust, he triggered your gag reflex and the tightening of your throat made him groan loudly, thrusting again and again until his cock twitched and his salty release shot to the back of your throat.
You kept sucking until his length was too sensitive before getting back up and pecking his lips. He cupped your cheeks and deepened the kiss, the lust quickly coming back as you felt him harden again against your hip.
He tapped the back of your thighs and you jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist once more. He slammed your back against a wall, slipping your panties to the side. He swiped a finger between your folds, noticing how wet you were.
« All for me? » he asked and you nodded and whined. « Such a good girl, so needy and desperate. I got you off once, wasn’t it enough? »
He grabbed a condom that was on the counter nearby, probably what he grabbed in his bag earlier, and rolled it on his thick length.
« Please, Ben please » you threw your head back. « I want you ». As soon as the three words escaped your lips, he entered you with one deep thrust, filling you to the hilt. He clamped a hand on your mouth to keep you from moaning out loud as he set a fast pace. His hand slid from your mouth to your throat, and tightened a little. « I want you to be quiet, can you be quiet for me? » he asked against your lips, eyes staring deep into yours. You nodded quickly before crashing your lips on his and he started thrusting again.
You choked on your own moans, letting out quiet whines. Your noises turned him on, urging him to an ever faster speed: he was now basically pounding you into the wall, the hand around your throat constricting your airflow.
A cry escaped your lips as he hit your g-spot, smirking as soon as he heard you. Ben’s grip tightened around your ass, his pace quickening and the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot at every thrust. The pain of your back being rubbed raw against the wall was quickly forgotten as your high approached, your vision filling with white dots. 
« I can feel you clenching around me » he groaned. « You like that? Are you gonna come? » he continued and all you could do was whine in response. One particularly deep thrust had you coming all over his length, your walls clenching around his tightly, making him moan and come into the condom. He kept thrusting lazily for a few, riding off your highs, until you were both too sensitive to keep going.
He let your feet reach the floor, holding you by the waist to keep you steady as your legs wobbled, threatening to buckle under you.
He helped you put your clothes back on and carried you to bed.
« Who would’ve thought Ben Parish was so rough in bed! »
« Ben Parish is dead » he simply replied, lifting you up to your bed and helping you get under the covers. He was about to go back to his own bed to sleep for the little bit of time you have left before training, but you grabbed his face and pulled him close to yours.
« Well I like the new you a lot » you grinned, before pecking him on the lips and letting him go, turning around to face the opposite side. He chuckled and got into bed. After a few minutes of silence, the light snores of our squad members filling the room, he spoke. « Now that I fucked you so hard that you can’t walk, maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to finally kick your ass at training » he chuckled and you laughed, almost too loudly. 
« Shut the fuck up »
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jesslxox-blog · 6 years
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school reunion - nick robinson
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Words: 1360
Requested: nope
Rating: all readers
you weren’t sure what to expect as you walked into place you’d be met with all the faces you had once known 10 years ago. Now being 28 you had maybe one or two close friends from high school, the rest you never talked to again or were just Facebook friends.
One of the faces you are about to see include your high school sweetheart, your first love. Yes all that cliche stuff that happened in high school, that you constantly tried to forget about. Let’s just say the last week of school a fight broke you up and you ended up sitting all by yourself at prom, while he danced with one of the cheerleaders that he knew you didn’t like.
28 years old and you were still single and had only had a few boyfriends the past 10 years and the longest of that was 6 months. For the most part of you being an independent woman, you just spent the past 10 years working as a
As you walked down the hallways the memories that you tried to push away all these years came rushing back to, the quick make outs along the walls when teacher wouldn’t be watching, the girls looking at you with envy because they wanted to date Nick. Now they wouldn’t have to envy you, he was probably happy with some other girl.
You inhaled a breath of air as you opened the door to the room, already being ten minutes late. “Y/F/N we thought you weren’t coming” You heard the voice of one of your old classmates that you barely remembered the name of as you just nodded before finding your way to your only good friends now Alissa and Rose.
“How come I have to go through a full day of work and then I’m forced to come visit people who I knew ten years ago” You sighed as you sat down beside the girls resting your head on Alissa’s shoulder. They gave you a fake offended look as you reassured them that they were the only ones you wanted to see.
“So y/n still going out with Josh” Rose asked referring to an idiot of a guy that you ended up dumping two months ago because let’s just say he was a self-absorbed guy who ended up cheating on you with your co-worker who you once classified as a friend.
“Dumped his sorry ass when he cheated on me with Sarah” You muttered as you looked around to find where the wine was served that Alissa held in her hand, as you spotted the table of drinks you noticed no other than your old boyfriend standing right beside it chatting to one of his old mates that he was on the soccer team with.
After a few minutes of contemplating if the wine was worth it, you stood up and walked towards the table, knowing you wouldn’t be able to get through this night without a couple glasses of wine.
A few faces glanced at you with curiousness, as you were well aware that it probably looked like you were walking towards Nick. As you finally reached the table Nick looked at you before doing a double take, yet all you did was ignore him and grabbed the wine, grabbing the biggest glass you could find and pouring enough that would get you through the first hour.
As Nick’s friend left he turned towards you leaning his arm against the table, his signature smirk adoring his face, as he started speaking. “Why if it isn’t miss y/l/n, how have you been beautiful?” He asked, the look on his face making it seem genuine.
Already having enough of his presence you scoffed and turned to walk away the glass of wine held firmly in your hand, as your attitude made it seem as if you were in your teen years again.
You saw eyes following your movements as you walked away from Nick and back to your friends, him making no more efforts to talk to you.
Throughout the night people kept asking what had happened with Nick and why he went to the prom with Bethany way back 10 years ago.
*Flashback*
As you were sat alone at one of the nicely decorated tables, you were questioning why your prom had to end like this. You knew it was too good to be true to have a nice boyfriend that you dated for the most of high school with no mishaps , now the day before graduation you were sad and just wanted to be finished with school.
Your friends all had dates that they were dancing with, hell even Nick had somehow found himself a date in the short time that our breakup was.
Which was only three days, it had taken him three days to get over me. I guess you could say that was probably what hurt the most right now. You looked away from Nick as a slow song came on and they began to slowly dance.
Over the course of the night teachers came up to you asking if you were alright and questioning why you were sat alone at prom by yourself, resulting in feeling self pity and sadness as you attempted to hold back all the tears. But you had already told yourself no crying, not tonight and in front of all these people.
As You saw Nick kiss Bethany you rushed to the bathroom, already feeling the tears spilling from your eyes, as you sobbed in the bathroom stall you questioned why you had even decided to come tonight.
Deciding you had enough you walked out of the bathroom and straight to the exit of the room you were in, your dressed crinkled and your face probably smudged with mascara.
*Flashback ended*
Graduation wasn’t as special as it should’ve been as you didn’t feel one bit excited and got off the stage as soon as you could, leaving at the first possible chance you had gotten.
As you were stood talking to one of your old teacher you were grabbed by the hand and heard Nick’s voice as he apologised to the teacher telling her how he had to speak to you.
“I’m sorry” He sighed after you had both left the classroom and were standing out in the hallways, it was weird how it was so quiet. Back in high school you were used to the constant chatter of students.
“For what” You asked quietly as you looked towards him and saw how much he had changed, his features had matured and he looked just as hot as he did when he was eighteen. But now was not the time to be checking out your ex boyfriend.
“For being such a fucking ass, at prom” He said as he explained that he saw how you looked that night and never did anything to make you feel better.
“I mean you did just go off with some other girl three days after we broke up” You stated attempting to add some humour, but you both knew you weren’t being humorous on bit. That was probably the thing that hurt the most with the whole break up.
“Y/N I’m such a fucking idiot and I know this probably is a weird time to ask, as we haven’t seen each other in 10 years, but since we broke up I haven’t had a proper relationship and seeing you tonight made me realise how I’m still in love with your beautiful self, so what I’m saying is can I take you out on a date” He blurted out all that he said as you giggled at him.
Deciding to be a little spontaneous you grabbed his hand and pushed him against the lockers playfully as you kissed his lips for the first time in 10 year and as you felt the sparks you knew that this could work out again.
remember to request!
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jesslxox-blog · 6 years
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Nick Robinson-Headcanon
Having him as a boyfriend would include…..
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Countless puns between the two of you
Having to get used to his crazy schedule
FaceTiming late at night
Falling asleep to each other on the phone
Listening to his raspy morning voice
Playing with his hair
Helping him rehearse lines
Sweet pecks in the morning
Needy kisses from him when he’s bored
“Baby come cuddle with me”
Him snuggling his head into the crook of your neck
Him leaving soft kisses on your neck
Watching 80s movies
Your first time being extremely soft and gentle
Nick telling you how beautiful you are how lucky he is to have you
Occasional fights
Nick getting really stressed with filming
Helping him relax
Being the only one who knows what gets him going
Going on road trips
Making out in his car
Him loving your height difference
Him loving to kiss your forehead
Wearing his flannels all the time
Trying to eat spaghetti, like in lady and the tramp
Nick proposing to you late at night and out of nowhere
“Hey I know this is random, but I love you so much and I have this ring. Marry Me?
Saying yes of course
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jesslxox-blog · 7 years
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Confession •Zach Herron
Description • when Zach is at home song writing while all his friends are out partying. He gets a straing phone call form Y/n who he thought hated him . When she sees him she’s confesses something she never thought he would
Warnings • mention of alcohol and drugs
A single word somehow holding a million unspoken admissions. Everyone has something they want to confess, no matter if it be small and insignificant, or whether it be something so monumental and with such a great impact is shakes the world as you know it. No one is free of secrets, some they will never tell, and some they don't want to keep. Depending on who you were, it was either fortunate or dangerously unfortunate that in , secrets weren't secrets for long.
It was 2:13am, moments were passing by in seconds as he became absorbed in the latest song. It was rendered all the more important now he had been called boring , and subsequently been lied for. It wasn't just his neck on the line if this idea slipped by, Corbyn and Daniel we're in trouble too, and that was unacceptable to him. So he sat in the dark, having commandeered his couch,typing out the words running through his mind at a speed almost faster than light, with laser focus.
Focus that was apparently dependant on lack of distraction, it shattered the moment his phone started buzzing against the bedside table, vibrating closer to the edge. He ignored it, let it ring out... The first time.
And the second.
And the third.
On the first called, when the vibration started he stared at the three words he'd forced out since the first call had broken his concentration and growled. He reached over and snatched his mobile from the table top, pushing his laptop to the side.
4 missed calls
12 text messages
2 voicemails
All from Daniel.
Zach sighed in frustration, an evening spent crafting a song wasn't what his friends considered thrilling on a Saturday and so they'd all attended a party at Y/n's house.
Not that his concrete decision had deterred his friends from attempting to convince him into attend , a plight that had continue even tonight, on the night of the party. They'd even pestered him a few hours into the parties commencement, but that had all stopped well before 11 and had only now re-emerged, with all 12 messages being some misspelled variation of "come to the party". He assumed some high level of alcohol consumption had contributed to the sudden eagerness of his friend to force him out of the house. Still, with his concentration all but non-existent now, he played the first voice mail.
"ZACHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" The deafening volume of the voice made him flinch, but what struck him most was that it wasn't the voice of his childhood playmate Daniel,so much as it was the drunken shrieking of someone he had never expected, "IT'S, UH, Y/N. YOU KNOW Y/N! I STOLE DANNYS PHONE BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO TEXT ANGI AND I SAID 'NO, NO, NO' BECAUSE I KNOW THAT'S A BAD IDEA BECAUSE I KNOW SHE USED TO BE IN LOOOOOVE WITH HIM!" she sung loudly into the receiver, her voice bubbling with intoxication. "SO HERE I AM, ON HIS PHONE, TALKING TO YOU MISTER HERON BECAUSE I WANTED TO AND YOUR NUMBER WAS FIRST! BUT ANYWAY I WANTED TO TELL YOU THA-" The line went silent as the message timed out. Zach sat in complete and unadulterated confusion as he tried to figure it out. Y/N hated him, as far as he could tell, and even a person as unobservant as Jonah had pointed it out before. As far as the boy could remember, he'd done nothing to deserve her distaste but every interaction he'd had with her, however short, had ended in her rudeness and him walking away dumbfounded. So, why on earth had she called him, and what could she possibly have to tell him? And most importantly, when did she start calling him 'zachy'?
Both questions had him immediately playing the second messages for answers, "zach, can you please answer the phone." Her voice had changed, the calls were two minutes apart and the tone of her voice had jumped from an elevated carelessness to something quiet and almost fearful. What prompted even further questioning was the fact that the message ended there, simple and enigmatic as this girl was mounting to be, when an hour ago he would believe that she simply hated him.
One thing was sure, no matter how she felt about him or how he felt about her, after the final message, he needed to make sure she was at least okay. He redialled the number, standing to pace the small room as he waited for an answer, and soon enough he received one. "Zach !" Daniels voice was slurred and abrupt, again causing the raven haired boy to flinch away from his phone, "What's up?!"
"Y/N called me from your phone." He explained, slowing his words ever so slightly to be clear enough for his friend to understand through his inebriation, "She sounded upset, is she okay?"
"Y/N called you?" Dani snickered slightly, "That's so weird because I was sure that she just hated you, like really really loathed you, like absolutely-"
"Yeah, I get it, Dan." Zach cut him off, sounding slightly frustrated by the musical prodigy .
"Right, well, she's shitfaced, basically and now she's dancing on a table singing Beyoncé, oh... Oh she took her shirt off." He replied, slurring every word over a single syllable, "Can you come get her? I think she's ready to go home." He giggled quietly, he didn't wait for a response from Zach , and the line went dead as soon as he'd finished the question.
"I guess so." Zach sighed heavily, staring at himself in the darkened screen of his phone, he was in his pyjamas, his hair was a mess from his fingers combing through it every five seconds to keep it from falling into his face, and he decided that he wouldn't change however, she'd probably be too drunk to care anyway.
So at 2:45am Zach Herron staggered downstairs and grabbed the keys to His moms car from the counter, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relieve some of the tension in his back. It was freezing, it had been bleak weather at best for weeks and this night was no different, the cold mist that fell before rain stuck to his skin as soon as he walked outside and in the few steps it took to get to the truck he was already chilled to his bones. He started the engine and sat in the car for a while, breathing deeply as the heater kicked in and started to warm him, by the time he pulled out of the driveway he'd warmed up again but the tiredness that had been creeping up on him for hours was setting in with the warmth.
The drive between His house and Daniels was surprisingly lengthy, or perhaps it was the late hour and the sleepy haze that was setting in on the writer, either way he arrived eventually and stopped outside. He could hear the music shaking the floor boards of the house, the sound flowing from what seemed to be an over excessive amount of speakers. There were a few drunken teenagers milling around on the front lawn, smoking, or talking, or emptying their stomachs after one to many shots.
Did he want to walk into the house right now? Definitely not.
Was he going to? Unfortunately yes.
And why? All for the sake of a girl he didn't know and who didn't like him.
As he approached, the music only get louder and louder, the smell of alcohol became near overpowering, and the heat of too many bodies crammed into one space washed over him as he opened the door to the crowded living room. Almost every person from the school that he could remember seeing was jammed into that space, dancing against each other, it might have looked fun if it didn't look so depraved. He tried to locate Y/N before entering the crowd and when he did he couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing, on one had she was easy to spot and she wasn't dancing against anyone he'd have to pull her away from, on the other hand, she was dancing on a table in a shirt jersey that wasn't hers. Great.
Weaving through the familiar bodies, he got halfway to her and got blocked by a couple who couldn't seem to breathe without their lips attached, he stood idle in the sea of people, his eyes glued to her swaying figure under a cloud of marijuana so he didn't lose her in the crowd. Or at least that was part of the reason. If he were to be entirely truthful (which he would admit he never really was), he would admit that he'd be observing her for a while now, if you asked him why he'd give the same reason he gave for observing anyone, but that wouldn't explain the way he'd always gravitated towards her. How unfortunate that the girl that had interested him for so long, also happened to be someone who despised him. Her treatment of him didn't enter his mind now, however, as he watched her swing her hips to the beat of an unknown song that was playing too loud, her hair was wild and so were her eyes as she swayed and sang to the ceiling like the gods were listening. For anyone else he'd be certain they weren't listening, but for her, they might.
He was removed from his little trance when someone pushed passed him, almost knocking him into several other people who honestly wouldn't have cared, but it distracted him enough to allow him to keep pushing through people to get the edge of the table where she was dancing, "Y/N!" He was sure his voice was being drowned out by the music, he reached out and grabbed her hand gently as it moved by him, and she looked down and smiled so bright the room must have gotten three times brighter.
"Zachy !" She called over the music, getting down off the table rather ungracefully, stumbling as soon as her feet his the ground, her only stability coming from the boy in front of her, his arms around her waist to keep her upright, "You're stronger than you look." She complimented, tapping the end of his nose softly with one finger as he'd already started heading towards the door, his hand finding hers to pull her towards the exit.
There wasn't a response from him, all his focus was on getting himself and her out of there uninjured and moderately unscathed, she seemed to be walking okay behind him but as soon as they were outside he turned to her, concerned eyes tracing every feature of her to make sure she was okay. "Are you alright?" He asked, lifting her arms to check she was okay.
"I'm fine." Her voice was quiet and gentle now, away from the music and the people, he smiled involuntarily. Zach had never heard her voice quite like that, he liked it on her.
"Come on, let's go." He mumbled, taking her hand again and leading her away towards Moms car.
"Car theft," she said simply, smirking a little as she climbed into the vehicle and snuggled comfortably into the seat, Zach jumped in the other side, looking over at her drunk and tired eyes, "and all for me? What a gentleman you are." She whispered, his breath caught slightly in his throat and his heart did something odd in his chest as he tried to respond. He didn't. He simply started the car and pulled out on to the empty road.
"Where do you live?" He asked, shifting nervously in his seat.
"The next street over from Daniels ," She responded, distant, in her own world, or, in other words, completely drunk, "all the way at the end of the street, in the white house with the big dark roof and the little red door." She sung to herself, her attention focused out the window.
"Are you feeling alrig-" He began, but she cut him off, speaking again in her distant gentle voice that he was beginning to really like.
"Everything goes so fast," She hummed, tracing her name in the fog on the window, "nothing ever slows down to let you catch up, and you end up running so fast breathing feels like sandpaper in your lungs because you just want to catch up and you cant. So, you stop, and you try to breathe and you get swept away into something you never wanted, but the currents so strong you can't fight it, even if it means letting go of something important."
After her voice trailed off, silence settled in around them quickly, she kept staring at the road disappearing behind them quicker every moment, and he tried to adjust to her words. It was becoming increasingly difficult to see her as the girl who hated him, and easier to fall into how he'd always seen her; beautiful, hopeless, and endlessly fascinating. "I don't hate you." Her voice broke the silence and he looked over at her momentarily, this time she was looking back, a gentle smile on her face.
"You sure?" He chuckled, looking back at the road, "You really seem to, and I don't think we've ever had a conversation before this where you weren't rude to me."
"It's because I like you." She responded, genuinely.
"You have a weird way of showing it." He pointed out, scoffing slightly. She only nodded in response, because it was true.
"That's because I also hate you." She mumbled, shuffling down in her seat.
"So we're being confusing tonight, I see."
"It's the alcohol," she argued, "I'm usually very concise, and generally secretive. If it weren't for that last drink, I doubt I'd even have called you."
"So, you like me but you hate me?" He inquired, glancing again to her with a raised eyebrow and a gentle smile, they spoke in hushed voices, as though being too loud would split the very earth in front of them.
"I do," She confirmed, hiccupping softly, "I've had a crush on you since the second grade and it never went away, but you intimidate me."
"Well, I'm an songwriter ," he sighed again, his shoulders falling as he exhaled, "intimidating is in bold print at the top of the job description."
"You mean your little blue and gold thing?" She giggled, "No, not that, I think that's kinda sexy, you're so demanding." Zach almost choked on the air he was breathing right there, but he managed to at least appear unaffected, "No, I meant just you, actually you, like your novel and all the things you are. I'm a bitch to you because if you think I hate you then you'll leave me to wallow in my self-pity because I'm not good enough for you."
You intimidate me because you're smart, and you're strong, and you're so fucking gorgeous and I just- I forget how to function around you unless I'm off my face drunk apparently. I can promise I wouldn't be saying any of this if I'd remember it in the morning. I won't though, so it's okay."
He couldn't speak, the words weren't forming in his head the way they we're meant to, the right sentence would appear and then vanish the moment he opened his mouth to utter it. "God, is this how you feel all the time." He finally gushed, the words weren't at all what he wanted to say but they we're something, "Like stringing words into sentences is basically impossible? I'm a writer and I can't find the words, I do this to you?"
"Worse." She stated, simple and absolutely shattering, he couldn't imagine being rendered this way by a person at all ten minutes ago but he sat bewildered and incompetent right now, wondering how she suffered this every single day. "I'm a photographer, and the best way I can describe it is that I'm pressing the button but the shutter won't click and when it finally does the pictures blurry. I can hear the words in my head, but I can't say them, something rude or defensive falls out instead. It sucks."
It astounded him to find out that this woman beside him, spoke so eloquently and somehow only alcohol could calm her nerves enough for him to see that. Even now he could see the anxious lines forming on her face as the silence stretched between them, the doubt crept up on her even now and he was grasping for something to say yet again. It was a feeling he hated, words came so simply and lyrically to him that fighting for what to say just felt unnatural, and he was teetering the edge of saying what he wanted to, and saying what was appropriate. "I write about you sometimes." He blurted out on an exhale, almost flinching at the sound of his own voice.
"You write about everyone," she hummed, "enigmatic bitch is basically a stock character in love songs. I'm just filling the character profile."
"No, completely separate from that." He admitted, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles drained of colour, this is one confession he'd never planned to come to light, but at least she wouldn't remember it in the morning, "Early last year, before I started singing properly.I looked at you and I realised I had seen you almost every single day of my life since I was five years old and somehow I knew nothing about you. So I tried to talk to you, but you weren't exactly welcoming that idea." He chuckled a little and she smiled at him.
"So?" She prompted him to continue, and he did.
"So, I started writing about you, I started digging, investigating. I wanted to know who you we're and I dug deeper and deeper."
"And what did you find?"
"Nothing," he sounded defeated even now, "everything down to your school records are clean. You were the first thing I couldn't figure out, but the weird part was I didn't mind, because it meant I could keep looking." He paused, the blushing girl beside him was unable to still her heart that was almost pounding out of her chest, "Then everything happened with the guys and I got interested and it fell to the side, but I go back to you whenever I get stuck."
"What will you do now?" She asked softly, "Now that I've told you, I'm not a mystery anymore. Where will you go when you get stuck?"
By the time she'd finished speaking they'd pulled up outside her house, the one with the red door exactly as she'd described and the conversation ended, ended without answer, not necessarily because either of them wanted it to end but simply because she was home, and he had no idea how to answer that question. Zach pulled himself out of the car and walked around to her door, opening it for her and helping her out, they wandered up the path slowly, his arm around her waist to steady her as she staggered slightly. "Are your parents' home?" he asked quietly, brushing her hair back out of her face as she nodded.
"Yup, right upstairs, probably dreaming of a less dysfunctional marriage." She shrugged and he chuckled a little.
"You good to get to your room? Seems like you've sobered up a bit." He added and she giggled.
"I am good to get to my room and I'm talking to you right now so, no, I'm not sober at all." She deducted quickly, nodding once.
"Maybe you're just getting comfortable around me." He suggested and she shook her head.
"No, I'm not gonna remember this at all in the morning, I am drunk as a skunk and I can promise you that, Mister Heron." She ran her hands through her dishevelled hair in an attempt to tame it.
"Do you promise?" his voice got low for a moment and he stepped forward, she didn't move, let him get closer to her.
"I swear." She nodded once.
"Good." He whispered, leaning in and joining their lips softly. Her reaction was instant, her hands moved to the side of his neck, thumbs running softly along his jawline as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. It felt like the world stopped existing, just for a second, his entire world became her and hers became him and it was perfect. It felt perfect and it ended too quickly, she pulled away from him and smiled as she stepped back, leaning against her door.
"I wish I didn't have to forget this." She hummed, smiling pleasantly. His brow furrowed in a slight frustration and something close to concern. She unlocked the door after fumbling with the key for a moment and opened it slowly and as quietly as possible.
"I could always remind you." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as she sighed and wandered into the house a few steps, leaning against the door she was still holding.
"As much as I would love that, I would never believe you." She mumbled, a humourless smirk crossing her face, "Thank you for coming to get me, and for the talk, and the kiss. I'll miss you." She hummed, blowing him a kiss and shutting the door so she could stagger up the stairs. He walked away from her house speechless again and smiling to himself.
Somehow this night had answered so many of his questions and yet it had raised a million new ones, his heart wouldn't beat normally even if he tried to force it and all over a girl who wouldn't even remember in the morning. As he got back into the truck, he sighed heavily and relaxed into the seat and just sat for a moment, thinking.
Secrets can be a dangerous thing, and confessions even more so. There are somethings that need to be said but can't be, and there are other things that shouldn't be revealed that are forced into the light. Now, Zach Herron was plagued by another secret he'd never intended to have; if there was one thing in the world that he wanted, he wanted her to remember.
The next morning Y/N would awake to a new secret of her own; she did.
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