jessyurahara - Tumblr blog

[jessyurahara]

Never Quite Right- Ryosuke Inui-

And to conclude my first upload spree- my baby- Ryosuke Inui

Boy and girl broke up, and it’s two a penny, everyone breaks up, but nothing that Ryosuke thought would happen, happened. 

Ryosuke thought that breaking up with your boyfriend meant you’d be running to him, not being obsessed with someone who is happy to leave you fighting for second place, and yet, watching you, again, letting another man treat you like shit, he found himself feeling petty, you’ve been together before, you’d slept together, and then he found himself seeing someone pretty, and you found yourself hating him for that. 

How could you resent him for seeing someone pretty? Because every time you would break up, you’d find yourself still just as obsessed with him. 

You were bad for each other, and yet you always held hope that it would end up working for the both of you, and yet each time, it somehow got worse, maybe it’s because the both of you swore you were trying. 

Trying to be friends.

You’re not friends though. 

Neither of you could change at all, both just a little bit too in love with the other to swallow your pride and drop the facade of not being in love. 

You should always be the one that he’s dancing with, spinning around rooms, lighting up those rooms together, and it’s not like you were going to sit yourself down and cry about the fact that you weren’t friends, but you were somewhere just in-between with him, but it was almost like he didn’t want you, maybe he didn’t want you, maybe he wasn’t the one, or it’s right person, wrong time. 

Sometime’s the girl doesn’t get the guy, sometime’s the guy doesn’t get the girl, and the whole thing is just reminiscent of heartbreak music playing all the time, and perhaps it’s time Ryosuke and you come to accept that you’re not that role for each other, instead you’re just that right person, wrong time, cursed to not even be able to be friends, because you couldn’t even figure out if you wanted him, obsessed, not friends. 

Strange when you take into consideration both of you felt the same way about each other, but it just wasn’t time for you both to end up in love with each other, maybe one day you’d be able to come back together, and continue to fall in love, but for now, it’s time to move away from one and another, Ryosuke and yourself breaking each others hearts with each step taken away from one and another, but it was time for it to happen, over the hill that you had to remain together. 

You could regale stories of that. Love you held for the almost perfect man, but that the time was never quite right for you and Ryosuke Inui to end up together. 

Back to KBTBB Drabbles/ Ryosuke Inui Drabbles

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles

[jessyurahara]

The Drunken Bars- Mamoru Kishi-

Mamoru and (Y/N), Mamoru and you, who would’ve thought you could end up where you are now, questioning if you’re even half the person you used to be, while you wait, with hope that he’ll appear in front of you, but you no longer even know him. 

Hands grasping at the bars in front of you, resting your forehead against the cold steel, you never thought you’d end up here, you remembered how you’d fallen in love with him from the back of his cop car, the detective was never straight laced, so did it shock anyone he was in love with a criminal like yourself? 

No. 

What did shock you? 

That after all this time he could hang up on you in your time of need. You’d die for Mamoru, he wouldn’t die for you. 

Swaying against the bars, you found yourself laughing, anyone watching would think you were insane, you weren’t you just found yourself questioning your own sanity, half convinced that Mamoru would call back, Mamoru would show up and bail you out. It was just a fight, just another fight, he’d never done this before. Turning, sliding down, feeling the cool metal against your back, shirt riding up, you rested your head in your hands, you dread to think what you looked like right now. Probably the same as the day he’d met you, another drunken street fight with some thug. 

The day you’d met Mamoru Kishi had changed your life, you remembered drunkenly explaining your story, young, drunk and alone, having just smashed a glass over a mans head, leaving with little more than a black eye and a whole lot of pride, you’d laughed as you regaled the tale to him, you were so damned proud of yourself. He’d been so strong when he’d thrown you in that car, and damn had he looked hot as he drove, smoke hanging from his lips, a lazy gaze drifting back to you, tracing your every movement as you excitedly explained every detail, you swore you’d even heard a short laugh slide past his lips, and like an over excited kid, he’d found you in the station every day after that, whether it was of your own will or not, constantly begging for his attention, telling him your small stories, things there was no need for the detective to know about you, then you managed to get him to give you his phone number, and you couldn’t count the amount of times you dial this number drunk, and yet like a knight in shining amour he would show up, collecting you, stopping your regular bar fights, because he was there before you could start them, it was like he was healing something inside of you, like you were no longer a danger to yourself. 

Mamoru Kishi, your very own lazy knight, you adored every moment you spent with him, never did you think he would leave you like this. 

And then there was one fight, and then another, and another, and you found yourself promising you would forget about him over drinks, and you swore to yourself you had, and yet as you were thrown in the back of that cop car, you felt as though you were reliving the night you’d fallen for him, and when you handed over his name as your one phone call. 

You swore he’d pick up. 

And the first time he didn’t you found yourself crying, but you repeated the same process, and that’s how you found yourself here, it had to be the fifth time in two weeks, but you kept on handing over his name as your phone call, and every time, it would ring, and ring, you swore you could picture him, sitting in that messy apartment, just watching his mobile ring on the coffee table, not caring. 

Coughing up some new tears, you didn’t know how you’d fucked up your relationship to this point, to end up, young, drunk and alone. 

All you could hear was his voice on repeat in your memory through the haze of the drinks, repeating how much he loves you, he wasn’t the man you thought he was, you would’ve died for him, and in that cell, you wanted him o come and pick you up off of the ground, but he was pretending like he no longer knew you, like he no longer loved you. 

“(L/N), (Y/N) You’ll be free to go in the morning”, you heard an officer repeat outside of your cell, and turning on him, you rubbed your eyes, attempting to hide the fact you’d been crying, 

“Just let me have one more call, he’s got to pick up” You found yourself begging, he wasn’t going to listen, despite all the officers looking the same, you could see the pity behind his eyes as he looked at you, a new bruise forming under your eye as you pretended to be strong, 

“I beg you, just let me call” You whispered more to yourself, something screaming that this would be the time he would pick up, and yet gazing at the officer he shook his head, 

“I swear he’d going to call me back” you continued to rationalise with yourself, as the officer walked away from your pleas. 

You couldn’t see it, you’d never know, Mamoru heard every call, he got told about every report, and sitting at his desk, head resting in his hands, he didn’t know what to do anymore, it was as though he never knew you, and yet, what more couldn’t he expect he’d met you while arresting you, he knew you weren’t perfect, and yet he was watching you spiral, listening to your every plea, getting feedback on your downward spiral and you fell further and further from grace. 

God Mamoru loved you, and getting the latest report of how much faith you had in this idea that he was going to pick up the phone and aide with your downward spiral was enough to break him, the fact he knew you were crying in a cell, half drunk, begging them to let you call him again, the fact he knew he wasn’t going to pick up the phone call. 

“(Y/N), Why do you do this to yourself?” 

For the shame of being young, drunk and alone, who knows? Maybe one day he’d pick up that call, but for now, you were stuck in that cell, as Mamoru would let that call just ring out. 

Back to KBTBB Drabbles/ Mamoru Kishi Drabbles

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles

[jessyurahara]

If I Killed Someone For You- Koji Ayase-

You were sorry you did this, you couldn’t even think about who you actually were, you wanted to tear your clothes off of your body, all you could think of was Koji, how was he going to take this. Would he still want to be close to you? Would he still mutter how much he loves you? 

You feel as though you’ll be remembering loneliness, like all your eyes will be reflecting is the pain of what you’ve done, would he let you explain? Would he let you stay the night? 

Koji was straight laced, uptight, koi was yours, he wasn’t going to hide you as your face reflects on the news, you killed someone for him, and you know he wasn’t going to help you, even when you had killed someone for him. Koji was so perfect, you were so perfect for him, you’d done all this for him, you felt nothing at all, you just knew you loved Koji Ayase as you felt your heart break in your chest, you hadn’t even realised what you’d done, but you knew your face would be littered all over the news, how could it not be? 

Showing up at his doorstep didn’t feel like it was an option, begging him for somewhere to hide, you’d explain it to him, and you already knew Koji, Koji would take you into his house and moments later you would see the flashing lights reflecting in the window, he’d turn you in, he wouldn’t think twice about it, because as much as he could adore you you couldn’t change him from the man he was. 

The Bidders, the men you cared for, they told you the danger you’d be in for falling in love with a man like Koji, he was never going to be perfect for someone like you, you were too twisted, you’d been through too much, and yet all you could think about was your chaotic, straight laced lover, he was always on your mind, you’d fought back against the bidders when they’d told you that he wasn’t going to hold your hand through all this, you’d separated yourself, you’d felt yourself change, willing yourself to become a better person. 

If you killed someone for Koji, he wouldn’t forgive you, they all would’ve helped you hide the body, meanwhile you knew you’d have to practice your confession and stare into a mirror despite the fact you felt nothing, nothing bar your love for this man. 

The questions racing around your brain, it was all so simple, he would not protect you in this moment, he wouldn’t hide you, you needed to learn your lesson in this moment, you needed to pack up your things and leave. Koji, the love of your life, perfect but imperfect. 

Handsome, perfect, and he was never going to be yours again, now you’ve realised you’ve killed someone for him. 

You needed to run, you needed to pack your bag, and leave. You needed to walk out the door, run out of the door, and run down the street. You’d changed, you weren’t who you were meant to be. 

And, with one last look back into the flat you had shared with Koji, and a single tear, you slammed the door on the murder you’d committed. 

You did it all for Koji Ayase, you killed yourself for him. 

Back to KBTBB Drabbles/ Koji Ayase Drabbles

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles

[jessyurahara]

Pub Encounter- Flower of Your Relationship

Ryuonsuke Yuze

Romantic. Enchanting. Love.

Often called fairy flowers could anything be more perfect, dainty petals that some people believe form perfect fairy hats. Enchanting just like Ryunosuke, they’re not the most traditional but they can always show his everlasting love towards you. The Hyacinthoides Hispanics ‘Queen of Pinks’, they’re known as bluebell royalty, and you’re Ryuonsuke’s queen, he’ll give you the world and more if he can. It’s a loving shade of pink, perfect for you, perfect for him, such a great symbol of honesty and that’s all he wants, his Queen with him in their perfect relationship. 

Mamoru Arashiro 

Simple. Effective. Passionate. 

The flirt himself is met by the most simple flower for your relationship, the Tulip, everyone has seen a Tulip before, everyone knows the different colours represent different things, with differing varieties Malory hands you representing good luck and happiness, it makes everything perfect, being able to switch up and effectively communicate how he feels in such a simplistic way, he knows he loves you, he adores everything about you. 

Hideako Kodama

Youthful. Innocent. Playful. 

A man in love with someone younger, he knows you’re more youthful, he loves that you make him feel that way, and lilacs are the perfect representation for that. The love you both have is a playful thing in even trying times, even when he’s saying stupid things when you pick up his call, there’s this innocence behind your words because all their is between you both is pure love and affection for each other. Nothing is ever perfect, but lilacs fit the both of you together like a glove. 

Yorihisa Hodo

Endless. Honesty. Love. 

A balloon flower within itself is said to represent endless love and honesty, and what more can be said about yourself and Yorihisa. There’s something perfect there, something that will never change, the flowers give off an air of encouragement about your relationship, they make you realise that he’s never going to leave you because he feels so deeply about you that there is nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure that your love is everlasting, and for the shame of being without you, he’d die for you, he’s never going to leave you alone again. 

Soichiro Toyoizumi

Beauty. Class. Style. 

Three words that Soichiro think perfectly describes you, using Oriental White Lillies in bouquets to you to show his love for you, creates a dramatic, expensive bouquet, perfectly sophisticated, beautiful, showing that he knows you well, you’re more beautiful than he could ever image, there’s always an air of elegance to each movement you make, and the smell is divine, Soichiro knows that something about you hypnotises him, a drink in hand as he hands you bouquet after bouquet to profess his love to you, you give off an air of exotic seduction. An old fashioned flower, to match the love that Soichiro feels whenever he watches you walk into the room. 

Back to Pub Encounter Headcannons

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles 

[jessyurahara]

KBTBB- Public Affection

Ota Kisaki

Ota, wasn’t embarrassed by these things, you were, embracing you when he wants was kind of his thing, a sly mutter and a smirk going along with his movements, normally people would be watching you from the sidelines. 

He loved the way in which you would squirm and react to him, it made him smile even further, if you listened carefully you’d even catch him laughing, it made him feel like a child, playing around with you at all times, smiling along with each movement. Ota is playful, and a jerk, it’s that simple, but also you’re his world and that was also a simple fact. 

He wasn’t not going to touch you at every open opportunity. 

Eisuke Ichinomiya

Eisuke had never been a particularly affectionate person, possessive in a way yes, but affection was a different matter of facts. Even when you started your overly complex relationship, he was always giving you push and pull. 

He knew if you hugged him, or held his hand, or kissed him it meant you were trying to be close to him, you were creating perfect memories with him. Eisuke wasn’t one to deny you of your deepest desires even if it was something as simple as holding his hand, in fact he was the one who was more likely to try and push you further, a kiss here and there, especially in front of the bidders, or when someone would make him feel jealous, despite the fact you knew you would never leave him, sometimes it was like he questioned that fact himself, and in those moments he would become the most possessive and affectionate man alive. 

Eisuke doesn’t share. 

Mitsunari Baba

In a relationship with Mistunari, the only shame towards public affection was felt by you, he was very open about his feelings towards you, no matter who was around, or what circumstances. There was no end to his affection towards you. 

He’s a passionate man, watching you under the moonlight on a roof, brushing your hair away from your face, he was so unapologetically himself. 

Mitsunari would often find himself walking around with you, his hand resting comfortably on the small of your back, sleeping at night he’d find himself tracing patterns on your skin, he saw you as perfect, he adored every hair on your head, every blemish on your body, every part of you was his. 

He wanted nothing more than to keep you, to claim you as his and his alone, and leave his marks all over your skin, whether that’s to be seen publicly or privately. 

Soryu Oh

It wasn’t that Soryu wasn’t affectionate towards you, when you were in private, he was one of the sweetest men you’d ever met. However, being so attentive in private meant in public you often fell to the wayside, after all, he had an image to uphold. He worried about the people around him, whether or not they would view him at the Mob Boss he is if he started being overly affectionate.

If he would succumb to the desire to be affectionate towards you, but in those moments his almost embarrassment and the way in which the bidders would tease would make the both of you uncomfortable. So affection during working hours became a strict but unspoken rule.

Despite all this, there were certain moments in which he would swallow all those feelings and simply enjoy being with you, holding you close. Tightly clinging to you, or an arm wrapped around your hips, just keeping your warmth close to him, he knew when he would have to restrain himself. 

Mamoru Kishi

Mamoru wasn’t an overly affectionate person, maybe it was his job, maybe it was trauma, but either way if you were looking for someone to cling to you at all moments and be hanging on your every movement, it was his duty to be your partner and stand by your side, but he wasn’t going to run around like a child. 

You had ultimately accepted that you needed to expect this treatment from Mamoru, he was never going to be the man who was going to be outwardly affectionate to you 24 hours a day, and if you were going to be honest then tell there were days in which you found yourself feeling a little thrown to the side, and during those moments you would find yourself reaching out a hand towards him, and grabbing onto him instead. 

Mamoru would allow you all the contact you felt you needed, and sometimes that stopped at a simple hand hold, other times you felt the need to grab him and hold him, and he would hold you back, mumbling something about you being a kid, because despite him not needing the physical contact in the same way, he was going to give you what you need. 

Ryunosuke Inui

Ryunosuke, a strange case, the man would run around calling you a Princess, and yet it was like he was embarrassed to kiss you in public. That’s not to say he wouldn’t in fact, despite how exited he could come across, he knew where to draw his professionalism lines, and in front of Soryu despite the comments of Princess he wouldn’t touch you. 

It was more than a little bit cute, the way in which he would turn red when you’d reach up and kiss him. He wishes he was able to be close to you at all times, apparently to protect you from the hordes of men that would surely chase after you if he wasn’t there. It was just an excuse to be able to be as close to you as possible and as affectionate with you as he wanted to be. 

Ryunsoke would never be embarrassed by his love for you though, if anything he enjoyed being able to show off that he was the one who won in the race to your heart. 

Koji Ayase

Koji was somewhat clueless when it comes to matters of the heart, he knows that he adores you, and he knows you adore him too, he doesn’t seem to always know how to properly react to you showing him how much you love him, it’s like he’s a wreck, turning bright red, mumbling quietly, sometimes freezing under your touch. 

It often meant that any public displays of affection needed to be initiated by you. It wasn’t something he didn’t think about, of course he’d think about touching you, kissing you, holding you closer than he ever thought possible, but he was embarrassed by your actions, and the red that was almost a permanent feature across his cheeks reflected that perfectly. 

He didn’t think you would appreciate it if he acted on his thoughts, and the best he would manage was to reach out and grab your hand, shyly holding it in his and refusing to look you in the eye, that same red covering his face. 

Back to KBTBB Headcannons

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles

[jessyurahara]

MLQC- Public Affection

Kiro

The word shy seemed to be missing from Kiro’s vocabulary. He was full of love for you and he never seemed to be ashamed of when to show it, rarely stopping to consider your own emotions or embarrassment. 

If anything, you were the one who started to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of attention afforded to you by Kiro, it was difficult not to be. You would rarely get a moments peace from the constant affection he wished to show you. He constantly wanted to hold onto some part of you. 

There were some days you wished he would just give you one day with a modest, by his standards, amount of affection, so you could feel just a little bit less suffocated. You had grown so accustomed to his constant displays of love, that without him there, you felt isolated. After that experience you learned to appreciate his presence, when he would swoop you up in his arms like there was no one else in the world apart from the both of you. 

Lucien

Lucien really seems to depend on his mood and location. Somedays he wants to hold you close and kiss your forehead without consideration for the rest of the world, and then on other days, his focus lays elsewhere and it slips his mind. He’s responsible enough to understand that there is always a Time and a place for these things, and that didm’t really bother you. 

When it comes to public displays of affection, Lucien would find himself often in a more nonchalant mood about it all, he would slip an arm around your shoulder while you’d be standing around having a casual conversation with your colleagues, and sometimes you would find yourself embarrassed by these interactions. 

His efforts of maintaining a cool composure in front of you were somewhat discarded, he was no longer the cool guy, that wasn’t to say he didn’t try and carry himself like that at times, but he didn’t deny himself the simple pleasures of your relationships; like kissing you under the glistening sunset or holding your hand as you strolled through the moonlit streets. He knew better than anyone that life was precious, and that all too soon, you could lose the person you cared for the most, he didn’t want his lack of attention towards you to be a regret in his life. 

Gavin

Gavin is driven by his want to be close to you, if he feels the desire to touch you, whether in a warm embrace or a kiss on the lips, he never tries to hide those feelings from you. It’s difficult now he has you trapped with him for him to even grasp the idea of suppressing his affections towards you. At first you weren’t even sure if you enjoyed the amount of eyes you would feel travel in your direction from the amount of affection he shows you, but eventually you grew to enjoy the attention from him. 

Gavin keeps you close at all times, a hand around your hip while you walk together, a kiss to your head, a kiss on the lips, it’s all too sweet for you. 

Eventually Gavin just started pulling you away from ever watching gazes of those around, pulling you into a hallway, round the side of a building, into a shaded alley, though this often leaves you looking strange to onlookers in some circumstances it also leaves you looking like two mischievous children about to pull a prank. It didn’t seem to bother Gavin though. He needs his daily doses of affection, and he’ll do anything to get it from you. 

Victor

Victor wasn’t so much one for PDA, not because he didn’t love you, but it wasn’t something he particularly viewed as the most professional behaviour he could exhibit in his role. Most of the time he dealt with people on a business only level, so he communication outside of business anyway for those in his personal life could often leave a lot to be desired, but you were willing to accept that about him, because he’s still the man whom you fell in love with. 

It took a while for Victor to warm up to the idea that the both of you were legitimately together, it wasn’t even that he didn’t understand the intricacies of being in a relationship but instead it was more the ideals he’d held so long about being the picture of professionalism. He’s unlikely to initiate anything beyond the bare minimum hands holding with yourself unless he is told to, but would certainly not push you away from him if you were to try something, in fact away from being alone he prefers it, it lets him know you want him close to you. 

You could hold his hand, or even kiss him in public and he wouldn’t be embarrassed by it, he just assumes you know far more about the ins and outs of relationships far more than he does, so he simply allows you to take the lead. 

Back to MLQC Headcannons

Headcannons/ Love Letters/ Stories/ Drabbles

[jessyurahara]

Requests Open

So I think for my first like actual story post back, I want to fulfil a request, so anyone got anything??

If not no worries, but I'm anxious about posting what I've wrote so I'd love something to start me off.

[jessyurahara]

Sorry to hear you went through all that with your ex , but you’re happy now! How long do you think until we see the first new bit of content from you ?

I've got a couple of things that I've wrote KBTBB stuff and MLQC and I think Pub Encounters, just got to ground the guts to post it, I feel like that same anxious kid because it's been so long since I put anything out

[jessyurahara]

Great to see a post from you again! Walle is sooooo cute! What else is new with you? Feels like we have not heard from you in so long

God, what else is new!

Obviously I'm older now, and god would hope I'm more mature. I'm 26 now, and good god does saying that always make me feel old.

I left my last job, and my first job in hotels, there was a lot that went on but that was mostly due to really crappy management and now I'm somewhere else, happier, god do I love my job now, which is weird to think. I work as a Duty Manager at a better hotel, and it's my first salaried job, which is exciting, because like, it's salaried.

Walle is obviously the biggest change in my life, he's a big baby, and he's all mine.

I broke up with my ex, moved back in with my parents, and then moved out again with my current partner, and am happy, which again feels surprising considering everything. We have a little two bedroom place with Walle, and I mean, Walle seems so happy.

It was a big thing breaking up with my ex really, I don't think I ever realised just how toxic he was to me and my mental health.

But god! I'm so much happier, and I'm excited to get back to writing again.

[jessyurahara]

How Old Were You When You Started Writing Fanfics/Headcannons?

Pretty good question, I started writing fanfic on Quotev at like 12-13 years old, so it's been over 13 years at this point

[jessyurahara]

So, this is my baby Walle, he's my pug and he's two and this is me introducing you guys to the light of my life, I adore him <3 Hopefully other people think he's adorable too <3

[jessyurahara]

I know this one may seem very personal and intrusive... but are you single?

This one just seemed like a bad vibe because it immediately followed the other two

[jessyurahara]

onlyfans or post sexy images please? ur so hot jessy

Again, god! Really came across a little creepy and obsessive

[jessyurahara]

Going back to your cosplay it killed me you look so fucking sexy. Have you ever thought about selling nudes cosplaying? I would pay for it in a heart beat . Also are you single ? :3

Oh I forgot about these, you were a creepy person weren't you? I always am left wondering who you are and where you appeared from

[jessyurahara]

Hello, Jessy~ I love your writings so much >W

And I love writing, god it's good to be back <3

[jessyurahara]

You have me absolutely feral for koji ayase, please give me so slutty good news of him!!

Baby you got it! Jess is back and she's back for Ayase Smut

[jessyurahara]

It’s been a long ass time. Just saw one of your old posts again I’m surprised with all the new bleach content you haven’t been hard at work. Any life updates about upcoming content or updates on yourself in general, what’s new ?

I put the blog down for a while, there's no point in lying, I had issues on here because someone from my personal life found my blog and I got a lot of anonymous asks thorugh here telling me to kill myself, telling me about how I lead guys on and things just got wayyy too personal, way to quick, but as always, I like making dramatic returns.

Other life updates- left my ex, moved out, have a dog now, he's two and is my world, his name is Walle. Found a career I think I'm happy in now- working hotels I'm part of management.

But I'm back, I'm happier, healthier and a hell of a lot older.

I'm thinking new Otome content and more than likely some Bleach fan girling as I CANNOT get over any of the new stuff.

But it's been far too long