jestra23 - Tumblr blog

[jestra23]

Losing humanity

Over the semester, I have made Tumblr posts as part of my assignments. Looking back on them, I have realized several posts are similar. In the posts that I have made, I can confirm that the theme is losing hope/pain/will to strive. While individually writing these posts, it was unintentional to have a common theme. Writing about my life or something depressing brings the emotions out of me. My second post was about choosing an art piece I like and interpreting how I view it. The work that I found was about academic burnout. The art piece shows a woman smoking a smaller version of herself. Although it does not show, the viewer can point out that she's slowly burning herself out in the painting until nothing is left. I connected with this piece because I can relate to its meaning. School can be mentally and physically draining. There are days when I don't want to do anything because I am tired and exhausted from school.

The fifth post was to choose a poem, break it down, and interpret it. I chose the poem "Truth is I would like to escape myself" because I felt I could relate. The poem's name speaks for itself, but a synopsis is that the narrator wants to become a better person by leaving all her troubles and sins behind, but it is hard for her to let go. The narrator wants to "escape all the wrongdoings" and become a better person. This poem has made me realize that I feel the same; there are days when I would like to escape. I want to become a better person, although getting "rid of the sins and sorrows" can be difficult for some people. In the seventh post, I had to create a theme with six songs of my choice. The topic I chose was heartbreak. The playlist contains "Heartless" made by the one and only Kanye West, "Since you've been gone" by Kelly Clarkson, "Stay" by Sugarland, "Für Elise" by Beethoven, "I fall apart" by Post Malone, and "Coaster" by Khalid. All of these songs are connected by the theme of heartbreak. Even Für Elise because of the story behind the music. After being heartbroken, Beethoven wrote this masterpiece. I can relate to the playlist I made because I was heartbroken at some point. I was heartbroken by other people's actions and my own. Realizing people's intentions and trying to pick up the broken pieces is heartbreaking and agonizing. Moving on is the best way to coop with those feelings. For the last assignment, I had to choose an art piece from the assigned textbook and write an Ekphrasis. I favored the art piece called "Christina's world." In the portrait, you can see Christina lying on a field of grass, trying to return to her home, but something seems to be stopping her from returning. The Ekphrasis I made for the portrait was: "So far, yet so close A home to which I never belonged to Should I go home, or should I move on decisions, decisions which shall I choose The closer I get, the more I become chained The farther I get, the more I become free From birth till now was my forever home Now it has become a depressing home Doing my best to stay sane As time passes, I become more insane Should I go back to the place I once called home Or should I leave and find a new home" This piece was emotional because I could relate to the interpretation of "Christina's world." Choosing to leave the home you've been with since birth or stay in the toxic house. The more I stay in the manipulative household, the more anger and emotions I have toward my family. The more I think about leaving, the more sadness and pain I have toward my family. As time passes, I feel like I'm becoming a stranger in my own home because I have a horrible relationship with my father, and I feel unwelcome every time I go through the front door. Writing allows me to take out my stress and express myself. The assignments made me realize I like to write about my life and that I need to change and become someone better. These assignments all have a theme of losing hope/pain/will to strive, and without realizing it, many of my posts are about my life and how depressing it is. Although my life is painful, I try and strive through it. I keep putting one foot after the other and trying my best, and I want to become someone I'm proud of.

[jestra23]

Ekphrasis

So far, yet so close A home to which I never belonged to Should I go home, or should I move on decisions, decisions which shall I choose The closer I get, the more I become chained The farther I get, the more I become free From birth till now was my forever home Now it has become a depressing home Doing my best to stay sane As time passes, I become more insane Should I go back to the place I once called home Or should I leave and find a new home

The art piece that I chose was Christina's world, made by Andrew Wyeth. As soon as I saw the art piece, I fell in love with it because of the way I could interpret it. The girl, Christina, lying on the grass, seems to want to return to her home, but there is no way back. She is nearly there, but something seems to be holding her back. The painting appears gloomy and dark, and it looks like she wants to go home but can't. The colors in the image give the picture an ominous look, which can lead to conflict. In a way, I relate to the painting because my house used to be a home I could confine in and trust, and now it has become a home of distrust and pain. I used to go home to a loving family, and the older I got, the truth started coming out, and the lies became worse. The girl in the art piece wants to go home, but she doesn't know if she wants to return to the toxic household or leave and find a better home. The way I made my poem is from Christina's point of view. Should Christina stay with the family she grew up with and loved for so long, or should she leave to find a better home where she will finally get the love she deserves? She deserves a better future with people who respect and love her than to be locked up and chained to a toxic household.

[jestra23]

Not seen on TV

The video that caught my interest was the last video, called Re-Enactment, made by Francis Alys and Rafael Ortega. This video has no context, but in the video, you can see a man purchasing a firearm and roaming the streets. He is just walking through the streets, not having a destination. The citizens acknowledge the gun but don't do anything about it. It took about 5 minutes for the police to arrest the man. With the digital information I received from the video, anyone can assume that although the man had no ill intentions, walking around with a firearm is dangerous and puts other lives in danger. The man could be the most honest and kindest person in the world, but that does not bring the fact that he was walking around with a dangerous weapon. This video does not remind me of a painting or art piece, but it did remind me of a scene from a TV show called Greys Anatomy. It similarly started with a man walking through a hospital trying to find a specific person. The man seemed kind and could get through the hospital without problem, although he had a firearm hidden in his coat. According to the man, his intentions were not ill because he was doing it for his wife, who died in surgery. This piece is challenging to understand because there is no context as to why he bought the gun in the first place. I am also confused as to why the citizens are not more frightened to see a man walking casually with a firearm.

[jestra23]

Tragedy Scripted and Staged

Hamlet is a well-known tragedy written by William Shakespeare sometime between 1599 and 1601. The scene that I chose was act 3, scene 4. This scene caught my attention because Hamlet scolded his mother for marrying his uncle. If I were in his situation, I would do the same. From what I remember reading in high school, this scene was fast-paced and vivid. It starts with Polonius and Queen Gertrude discussing that she needs to scold her son for his wrongdoings. They hear Hamlet walking towards them, so Polonius decides to hide and listen to their conversation. Hamlet is enraged that his mother married his uncle and begins scolding his mother. He becomes aggressive by showing his knife, and the Queen calls for help. Polonius starts yelling for help, and Hamlet thinks it is Claudius and stabs him in the torso, killing him. Polonius falls onto the floor; Hamlet seems unfazed and goes back to lecturing his mother. Suddenly, his father's ghost appears, trying to remind Hamlet of his duty; to avenge his death rather than bash his mother. While talking to his father's ghost, Hamlet's mother believes he has gone mad since she cannot hear or see him. His father leaves, Hamlet becomes more compassionate toward his mother and tells her to repent of her sins. He then talks some more and reminds her he is going to England with the adders. While finishing his conversation with his mother, he drags Polonius's body out of the Queen's bedroom. I watched two versions of this scene. The first video was a 3-minute summary of the scene and covered everything. As I recall, the scene was fast-paced and vivid. There was lots of arguing and yelling. The second video was about 10 minutes, and everything else seemed the same except for one part. While reminding his mother of his leaving off for England, they become more affectionate toward each other. I didn't expect that because they are mother and son, and kissing each other was strange, but I should lower my expectations since she married his uncle. In both videos, Hamlet seems insane while talking to his father. His mother, in both videos, seemed strangely calm when Hamlet killed Polonius and did not shout out or call for help when he killed him.

This is the link for the 10 minute video

[jestra23]

Anatomy of a scene

After looking at the list, I couldn't find the movies, so instead, I watched "Hidden Figures" as my drama and "Dennis the Menace" as my comedy. Hidden Figures is mainly a drama with a bit of humor. This movie is about three brilliant African-American women working for NASA: Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson. They have inspired the world by using their talents for a special mission and achieving their goals using their knowledge. This operation stands as one of the most special operations in history. The launch of astronaut John Glenn into orbit was a stunning accomplishment that rekindled the nation's confidence. Although it was not easy for them to get to where they got, they had to go through many obstacles, such as going against many white privileged men, receiving lots of discrimination and dealing with segregation, and earning the respect of their peers as a black woman. Watching these women power their way through life and earn their accomplishments is heartwarming and satisfactory. At the same time, watching them being turned down for jobs and being discriminated against is heartbreaking. This movie overall is very good, and it is nerve-wracking. The second movie, Dennis the Menace, is a comedic family movie. It is about a young boy named Dennis who is very much a menace and is very loud and a troublemaker. His parents have to leave due to work and cannot find a babysitter to take care of Dennis. They then asked their neighbor George and his wife to care for Dennis, and they agreed. As Dennis gets into trouble, there is another troublemaker, Switchblade Sam, who comes into town, stealing valuables from people's homes. While trying to steal George's valuables, Sam gets caught by Dennis and kidnaps him. George realizes Dennis is gone and tries to get him back. Although in my summary, it does not sound like it is a comedy movie, it is pretty hilarious. Dennis is just a young boy who tries to help out in his own way but always ends up making a mess or causing trouble. The neighbor, George despises Dennis because he is always making trouble for them. The only reason he took care of him was that his wife agreed.

[jestra23]

While looking through my camera roll, many memories flooded in. I have many photos that I would like to include, but these are the six I chose. The theme that I chose was when I was at my happiest. Life has its ups and downs. In these photos, I was truly happy and living my best life. If there were ever a moment when I could relive those days, I would do anything in my power to go back. In the first photo, I am with my friends at Universal to go to the annual Halloween Horror Nights. I was excited because I'd been waiting to go for the longest time and finally went. Recommend 10/10! In the second photo, I am with my friends, celebrating my 19th birthday. I was overjoyed on this day because my friends surprised me with a birthday dinner, although I was planning on doing nothing for my birthday. I am thankful to them for always being there and keeping me happy. The third picture is a family photo with family members from Texas. We went to look at the lights since they were still up from Christmas. I have a strong connection with my family from Texas. I love them with all my heart, and seeing them makes me happy. In the fourth photo, I was super excited at the gym because I had reached a new personal record. I was able to squat 120 pounds after trying for weeks. The gym is my happy place and helps me become stress-free. In the fifth photo, I was feeling overwhelmed. I was emotional because it was the first and best concert I had been to. I was at Bad Bunny's El Ultimo Tour Del Mundo, which was astronomical. I was appalled by his performance, and I love his music. I'm sad I missed out on his recent World's Hottest Tour, but at least I got to see him; I cannot wait for the next one. The last photo was at my graduation. On this day, I felt every emotion; happy, sad, terrified, excited, nervous, etc., but mainly I was extremely excited because I had graduated. I saw all my friends walk down the stage, and I could hear all the applause from the audience. Receiving my diploma was an accomplishment, and I was happy to begin my college life.

All these pictures will always have a special place in my heart. All of these photos connect because they are all from when I was at my happiest. It makes me sad that these are only memories, and I cannot return to that time. Going back is not an option, but I can always move forward and make new and exciting memories with friends and family.

[jestra23]

While looking through my camera roll, many memories flooded in. I have many photos that I would like to include, but these are the six I chose. The theme that I chose was when I was at my happiest. Life has its ups and downs. In these photos, I was truly happy and living my best life. If there were ever a moment when I could relive those days, I would do anything in my power to go back. In the first photo, I am with my friends at Universal to go to the annual Halloween Horror Nights. I was excited because I'd been waiting to go for the longest time and finally went. Recommend 10/10! In the second photo, I am with my friends, celebrating my 19th birthday. I was overjoyed on this day because my friends surprised me with a birthday dinner, although I was planning on doing nothing for my birthday. I am thankful to them for always being there and keeping me happy. The third picture is a family photo with family members from Texas. We went to look at the lights since they were still up from Christmas. I have a strong connection with my family from Texas. I love them with all my heart, and seeing them makes me happy. In the fourth photo, I was super excited at the gym because I had reached a new personal record. I was able to squat 120 pounds after trying for weeks. The gym is my happy place and helps me become stress-free. In the fifth photo, I was feeling overwhelmed. I was emotional because it was the first and best concert I had been to. I was at Bad Bunny's El Ultimo Tour Del Mundo, which was astronomical. I was appalled by his performance, and I love his music. I'm sad I missed out on his recent World's Hottest Tour, but at least I got to see him; I cannot wait for the next one. The last photo was at my graduation. On this day, I felt every emotion; happy, sad, terrified, excited, nervous, etc., but mainly I was extremely excited because I had graduated. I saw all my friends walk down the stage, and I could hear all the applause from the audience. Receiving my diploma was an accomplishment, and I was happy to begin my college life. All these pictures will always have a special place in my heart.

All of these photos connect because they are all from when I was at my happiest. It makes me sad that these are only memories, and I cannot return to that time. Going back is not an option, but I can always move forward and make new and exciting memories with friends and family.

[jestra23]

Your musical theme

Listening to music is an everyday activity. There is not a day when I don't listen to music; at work, at home, gym, or even grocery shopping. Music calms me down when I feel down, or it could give me lots of energy. Music has helped me cope with stressful situations. Music has come a long way and has brought a connection to thousands of people around the world. Since I have felt blue, my playlist's theme will be heartbreak. The playlist contains "Heartless" (hip hop/rap) made by the one and only Kanye West, "Since you've been gone" (indie rock) by Kelly Clarkson, "Stay" (country) by Sugarland, "Für Elise" (classical) by Beethoven, "I fall apart" (alternative hip hop) by Post Malone, and "Coaster" (R&B/soul) by Khalid. I can include so many other good songs, but these are enough for now. "Heartless" was released in 2008 and started returning since it is such a trendy song. The music is upbeat, and the lyrics are controversial to the rhythm since the lyrics are about heartbreak. Kanye's theme for this song concerns how people deal with losing a relationship. Overall this song is catchy and helps with that type of situation. "Since you've been gone" was released in 2004, making it onto many musical shows and movies. Clarkson's theme in this song was about a failing relationship from her point of view. This song is fast pacing and loud. I would expect a slow and soothing pace for a breakup song instead of a quick and pumping tempo. "Stay" by Sugarland is one of the few country songs I listen to. I have no hate for country music, but it is not to my taste. This song is very slow-paced. Sugarlands theme for this song is about being in a hopeless situation. No matter how hard you try, there will only be pain and suffering. "Für Elsie" by Beethoven was composed in 1810. This song took me by surprise because although this song doesn't contain any lyrics and has an alternating tempo, he made this song after he proposed to the love of his life, and she said no. His broken heart leads him to compose this masterpiece. The tempo of the music could resemble his emotions; for example, when he's sad, the tempo slows down, and when he's furious, the beat begins to go faster. "I fall apart" by Post Malone was written in 2016. This song is slow-paced and has a hypnotizing rhythm that makes you want to listen over and over. The first time I heard this song, I was hooked. Malone's theme for this song is about being left and hurt by somebody else's actions. Finally, the best piece for last is "Coaster" by Khalid. Khalid made this song in 2017. His theme for this song was about a past love interest that never worked out. Overall, I can relate to these songs because I have been heartbroken. Not because of people but also because of myself. I let others toy with my feelings and never learn from my mistakes. My song playlist consists of artists singing about heartbreak and how it is making them feel or how it is affecting them. All these songs have helped me cope with my emotions and become a better person.

[jestra23]

Plotting

One sunny morning, I woke up around 8 am to start my daily routine: wash my face and brush my teeth, eat my overnight oats, and get ready for work. I left at around 8:50 am to get to work, and once I got there, it was busy, busy, busy since it was the day after hurricane Ian. Since I work as a receptionist in the emergency room, we never know when we will get hit with many patients or if it will be peaceful and barely anyone will come in. As time passed, people kept coming in and out the door, checking into the hospital or visiting family. Suddenly, the internet stopped working, which resulted in the worst day. The hospital uses mainly electronics for us to check in people and do our job. We use tablets and computers. Without access to them, we have to result to pen and paper, and that process can take hours to do one person; meanwhile, with a tablet, we can finish in seconds. The doctors and the nurses also needed internet access and had to result to pen and paper. As time passed, more and more people came in, the wait time to be seen kept getting longer, people were getting frustrated, and the hospital was getting too crowded. I thought the day could not get any worse yet; ambulances kept bringing people in since we could not turn them down. Walking back and forth from the front desk to the patients in the back was a nightmare. Dealing with angry and agitated people did not make matters any better. Since the situation was not improving, I had to stay overtime and leave at 10 pm. I went home, did my nightly routine, and went to bed. As the following day started, I resumed my morning routine and went to work. Sadly the nightmare was not over. As soon as I got through the doors, I could see the panic in my coworker's eyes and how crowded the hospital was. Sadly, I went to work just like usual and dealt with people.

Situation A - The Internet stopped working

Change - Had to use pen and paper which resulted in a long process to get every patient.

Situation B - the Internet was still out and had another long and horrible day

[jestra23]

Poetic License 

"Truth is I would like to escape myself" was written by Nour Al Ghraowi in 2021. In the poem, the author expresses herself by making it seem like she wants to make herself a better person but cannot because there are too many "sins and sorrows." The story begins with the author stating how she wants to "detach her body from her skin." She wants to leave the sorrow and sins behind and become a better version of herself. Ghraowi wants to "peel it layer by layer to reveal a flower that grows and blooms beautifully." She then states that a wise woman once told her, "Do not worry about yourself; worry about who you could be." In these lines, I believe that she can choose between two paths; good or bad. She could go down the right path or choose the wrong direction and become someone worse. In the last sentences, she states that she wants to become god-like, someone who "writes pieces of oceans." Overall, I believe that the author's theme is if you want to become a better person, you should let yourself grow and not worry about others. Worry about what will come in your future since it could decide your path. Ghraowi wants to become a better person; she wants to "peel" back all his lousy layers, reveal the good in him, and eventually feel free and faithful to herself and find self-love. This poem caught my eye because I feel the same way. There are days when I want to escape from reality and not be here mentally. I want to be stress-free and grow to learn to love myself. It can be hard to do those things when I am a procrastinator and lazy at almost everything. I get praise from my friends and family for all my hard work and appreciate it, but it gets tiring and makes me want to give up. Ghraowi wants to escape reality just like I do at times, and I like how she uses all those metaphors to give an illusion to what she is saying. There is also a central image of what the narrator is describing. It shows the wise woman blooming into a beautiful red flower with the ocean and feathers floating freely around her. The poem does not have consonance because it does not repeat the same consonant sound. The poem has a narrator since she speaks to the audience about herself.

[jestra23]

Domestic architecture

The domestic architecture that I chose was my house. Walking through the front door, you can see the living room and the kitchen. It is spacious and roomy, and my whole family can enjoy the spacious living room. My house serves its purpose as a domestic space because everyone has their room and can enjoy their own space, and it is practical and functional for a family to run smoothly. The living room has an arched window right next to the front door, letting in lots of light and making the living room much brighter and fuller. There are four rooms and three bathrooms in total. One is the main bedroom with its bathroom, and three other rooms with two bathrooms in the hallway. I have been living in the same house for nineteen years, and I believe it needs some updating. Hurricane Irma did a number on the house, and the ceiling was spilling water which caused lots of damage. Overall, my house is unremarkable because it looks like any average-looking house and requires repairs. Another domestic space I chose was the gym. I am there every single day except on Sundays. It is like a second home. Walking through the front doors, you can see the open space with many different rooms. There are not that many windows at the gym, which I don't particularly appreciate because I want to see if the sun is out or not. The gym has a way bigger interior, unlike my house. Although there are many people at the gym, I would still prefer the gym rather than my house because it is very spacious and comforting.

[jestra23]

While trying to find a public sculpture, I recalled I had been to one as a toddler. It is called the Lely Freedom Horses, sculpted by Veryl Goodnight-Brooks, on Collier Boulevard at Grand Lely Drive. The Lely Development Corporation commissioned this artwork on July 25th, 1992. Goodnight has another sculpture of the horses on the other entrance of Collier Boulevard, which was installed in 2017. According to Goodnight, her original idea for the statue was for the horses to jump off a wall to commemorate the fall of the Berlin wall. It did not go with "Florida's scenery," so Goodnight had to accommodate Lely officials to make the sculptures possible. Instead of the wall, she added a pool of water around the model horses to capture Florida's terrain. Although she does not say much about the community other than, "It was so beautiful to see the horses running through the water like that," her main thought was toward the Berlin Wall. In my opinion, I believe that Goodnight has captured the beautiful tranquil scenery of my home town Naples, Florida. The bushes and flowers around the horses make them much more vibrant, and the water around the horses makes them look free and unchained. In the pictures, the horses are full round sculptures and are 30 feet long, 18 feet wide, and 12 feet high. These horses are well known to Naples since they have been around for 30 years representing freedom and unity. Goodnight has many other sculptures worldwide, including another famous sculpture called "The Night The Wall Came Down."

[jestra23]

Abstract Image

While looking through the Metropolitan Museum of Art, one painting caught my eye. The art piece that seemed intriguing was the canvas made by Roger de la Fresnaye called Artillery. So much is happening in the painting, making it seem claustrophobic and crowded. There is a military band wearing blue and red uniforms to represent the french meanwhile, the men wearing black represent the soldiers in the war and are either on a horse or military tank. In the description of the painting, we can confirm that this art piece is based on World War I and captures a disastrous moment. In my opinion, this canvas embraces strength and unity. Looking through the art piece, we can predict there will be many hardships and losses because it is a war. We can also indicate that war can lead to depression and recession. In the painting, I noticed there are lots of fragments and abstractions. The artist used cubism in his ideology to create this canvas. There are lots of geometric shapes that the artist uses in the painting. Many of the lines are sharp. He also uses oil paint for his artwork, which is ironic because the artillery in the image uses oil for it to work. The artist uses dark colors to emphasize the mood of the situation. The description never says whether this was before or after the war. The military band could be celebrating the soldiers for their victory, or the band could be performing before the war even started.

[jestra23]

The art I chose was a painting made by an AP art student. Her theme was academic burnout, and I believe this applies to me and others as well. Academic burnout affects many students worldwide; a problem people tend to push aside. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and laziness. As I study the picture, I notice that the woman smokes a smaller version of herself. Although it does not show, the viewer can point out that she's slowly burning herself out in the painting until nothing is left. This painting stuck out because I have been burning out lately, not just because of school but because of work and life in general. Having no support in anything you do can be tiring and sometimes makes me want to stop everything. As a result, burning out has made me depressed and highly anxious. As most people know, cannabis is a drug that relaxes the mind and the body. Some do it for pleasure, while others receive it for treatment. Nowadays, many people smoke to find a state of relaxation and temporarily forget about their stress before returning to reality. School can be overwhelming and cause a lot of strain on students. Aside from earning good grades and getting into a prestigious college to be "successful," you must land a well-paying job and be a responsible adult. As a first-generation college student, there is a lot of pressure on my shoulders since I don't have a support system and must find opportunities and ways to become successful in my way. As a result, this picture portrays how students cope with stress while also exhausting themselves, and once they are completely drained, they will lose their sense of reason and motivation to continue in life. Finding peace can help relieve stress, but it will never truly go away since pressure is everywhere.

[jestra23]

Hello everyone, my name is Jacqueline Estrada, but I prefer to be called Jackie. I am in my second year of college, a full-time student working two part-time jobs. I am working towards graduating with an AA degree while completing my prerequisites. I am still somewhat uncertain about what major or career I want to pursue. Still, for now, my mindset is to become a dental hygienist and work my way up to an orthodontist. So far, my college experience has been fun and exciting. I used to be very shy and introverted back in middle and high school; ever since I enrolled in college, I have become more outgoing and extroverted. I have become more involved with school by joining clubs and doing school activities. I love the beach, and I love going to the gym. My favorite artist is Bad Bunny; no one can change my mind.