jingles-the-skeleton - Tumblr blog

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Defunctland: Cooking fever

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i once had a full grown woman look me dead in the eyes and say “i was gonna be a forensic analyst, but i’m an empath.” but she’s from the ozarks so there was probably heroin in her mother’s breast milk.

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Twitter User: I wish I had more followers, then I’d be more likely to get verified.

Facebook User: I wish my posts reached further, then I’d get famous.

Instagram User: I wish I had more followers so I can unlock more basic features for my account.

TikTok User: I wish I had more views then I’d be a real influencer.

Tumbler User: I specifically didn’t tag this so no one would find it why does it have 200k notes? Who the hell are these people following me? All of you need to go away so I can go back to posting incomprehensible garbage and pictures of frogs.

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thank you trans women

we need more women. 3,822,561,000 isn't enough.

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low poly borzoi for your enjoyment

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Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

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can’t forget quicksand

does anyone else remember reading about spontaneous human combustion in a book of weird and unexplained facts and phenomena when you were like, ten years old or something and being convinced for like a week that you were going to suddenly burst into flames out of nowhere and that this was something actually worth worrying about before never thinking about it ever again or was i just fucked in the head as a kid

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don’t pretend the Great Tag Ban isn’t funny. don’t pretend that content being automatically removed from the site for using arbitrary terms like “girl” or “tony the tiger” isn’t hilarious

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i find it very relevant that the recommended tags are right below this post. tumblr fucking incinerated all of them.

the post below is fucking incinerated. sorry

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and staying that way

People nowadays are so obsessed with redemption arcs like. Give me a good corruption arc. Watch me go wild over my favourite characters going mad and committing atrocious acts against the very nature of humanity

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man, they even banned you from tagging it as a long post. this just got personal.

Dear Apple...

You have awakened a sleeping beast. Our war cry will ring throughout the world, an unending dirge for the girls and the weed we’ve lost.

We are Superwholock.

We are Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons.

We are Steven Universe.

We are Bee Shrek Test in the House.

We are Danganronpa.

We are the Hunger Games.

We are Karl Marx and Frederich Engels.

We are Lord of the Rings.

We are Undertale.

We are the Once-ler.

We are touching butts and buying pizza.

We are One Direction.

We are BTS.

We are Marvel.

We are Avatar: The Last Airbender.

We are Gravity Falls.

We are Free!

We are Ouran High School Host Club.

We are My Little Pony.

We are Dan and Phil.

We are Loki.

We are Spamton. We are IBS Warriors.

We are flower crowns.

We got the booty.

We are all of that, and much more.

We are Tumblr.

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the original dark betty

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bringing this meme format back since history is repeating itself.

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dude they banned milf. what if i want to fuck someone's mom, tumblr? what should i do then? kill myself?