I think I know why 2020 is so bad... We obey this banner way too much
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This is so amazing. You need to read this.
Capricorn: Who broke the coffee pot? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
Pisces: I did. I broke it.
Capricorn: No. No, you didn’t. Taurus?
Taurus: Don’t look at me, look at Virgo.
Virgo: What?! I didn’t break it!
Taurus: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Virgo: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Taurus: Suspicious.
Virgo: No, it’s not!
Cancer: If it matters, probably not… Scorpio was the last one to use it.
Scorpio: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Cancer: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Scorpio: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cancer!
Pisces: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Cap.
Capricorn: No! Who broke it?!
Sagittarius: *whispering* Cap, Libra’s been awfully quiet this whole time.
Libra: Really?!
*Yelling ensues*
*Camera pans to Capricorn*
Capricorn: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
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What happens when you take your favorite book seriously
I was reading Sidney Sheldon's autobiography named The Other Side Of Me and in it one day he had to submit a review of a book to the writing comany by six o'clock. I took a short break and looked for time and it was 5:58. So I started shouting "OMG NO SIDNEY'S GOT TO SUBMIT THE REVIEW! NO THIS CAN'T HAPPEN! OMG MAKE IT FAST SIDNEY!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" And all my family members were staring ar me like I'm a stranger. This actually had to be extremely embarrassing but I care for the story more so I'm fine with this okay
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We all know this thing.
Gratefulness Through Life
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Sleeping is nice because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake. So it’s a win-win situation.
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Memories on Facebook are just as embarrassing as real life memories idk why i posted this sorry bye
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So damn true.
That’s how a thousand ideas I could post fade.
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Me and my brother are team workers. Whenever we sit together on a laptop he watches WWE highlights and I enjoy the songs playing behind.
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Me lending a book to a friend:
What I say: Enjoy it!
What I mean: If you damage or misplace this extension of my soul I will be forced to end you.
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