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Gifts That Last

So here’s another blog entry. This time it’ll be about my mom’s stories about her childhood. Actually, it’ll be about one story that’s more like a combination of multiple stories. Essentially, it was about how her mother, her aunt and uncle (and pretty much her entire family) became her entire parental unit after her father passed on early in her life. She talked about how her uncle left for Japan to work so that he could send her to university. She even talked about how her aunt would leave with a few pesos and somehow come back the same day with enough food to feed the house (a secret that she admits she has never figured out). She talks about how her mother acted as the mother figure (cooking and cleaning and other typical motherly stuff) not only for her but for her cousins as well. Not really too much to tell. These acts are things that happened regularly in her life. My mom told me these stories the same way we would talk about having a good day at school or work: always happy and always with peace of mind. 

This same view also passed onto me. When I was a kid, I never saw her aunt and uncle as a grand aunt or grand uncle. I always told the other kids that I had two grandmas and one grandpa on my mom’s side. They always looked at me confused and it was only years later (teenage years) that the concept of a grandaunt or granduncle was something that I understood. These trends essentially shaped my views on family. Your family isn’t the people directly related to you like your siblings, parents or children. It’s the people who are there for you when you need help and hang around anyway when things are fine because they enjoy your company and you enjoy theirs as well. I guess I have already been keeping them going. With my friends from high school, I essentially see them as my siblings. The that’s closest to me is someone I call my little sister (mainly because of the way she acts and because I’m way taller than her so it looks like I’m older). 

Hey, sis. (Vax’ildan and Vex’ahlia, the twins from Critical Role)

As a matter of fact, I commonly tease her the way an older brother would. My favorite past time with her is keeping track of all the boys she’s had crushes on. In a span of five years, I’ve counted nearly twenty. I’ve even calculated her rate using the basic formula for speed in Physics which speed = distance/time. Distance (being the boys which is around 16)/time (5 years). This means that she has liked around 3.2 boys per year. Truly a record. Other times, I’ve also shared sandwiches with her and helped her out with her homework. Heck, I even egged her on to ask her crush as a date to the 9th grade dance (an hour long pep talk mind you). She’s been of my best friends for almost 6 years now and that’s thanks to fact that my mother taught me how family isn’t about blood but bond.

I think this is a great time to talk about me as well (I don’t like doing this). Another story (this time from my father) was about how he’d take me out for rides in a car when I was around two years old. He’d drive around the neighborhood and I’d sit in his lap. Sometimes, he’d stop and bounce me on his knee like I was riding a horse. There were other times throughout my childhood where he’d wrestle with us (my younger brother and me) or even turn our beds into slides. I think it was this consistency of fun and enjoyment that pretty much said it was okay to be me and that my parents would take care of me. For Erikson’s stages 1 to 5, I really learned to trust my parents during my first stage. I also developed my autonomy as my parents would ask me if I wanted to do these things (the car riding, wrestling and knee horse) and there were times when I would not want to. So yes, my parents gave me more than enough space for me to develop my autonomy. I also developed my stubborn streak during this period (that I and my parents both say I have inherited from both of them). Though I got to choose, my parents also sort of nudged me towards the stereotypically boy things like Power Rangers, robots and Star Wars (Thanks mom and dad!). This is now the third stage and yes, I would say I did see the differences between the sexes here. I even got into the age old “boys are better than girls” argument. From here, I got into the 4th stage and I would say that the positive reception I got from the previous 3 stages did help as this was the time I started taking my school work very seriously and I became grade conscious. This did pay off as I actually got good grades throughout middle school and high school, helping me get into college a year early and even get into an Honors course. Even now in college, I am feeling more unmotivated compared to my past years because it’s all so new to me (the people, the profs, the size of the environment) and so my grades dropped. 

        ME IN HIGH SCHOOL VS ME IN COLLEGE 

         (I am not a D- student though)          (FYI I am mostly a B to sometimes B+ student)

Even then, I’d still consider myself on the more academically well off among my course and department as there are students who are just fighting to stay in the course while I’m well above the cut off. I just wish my grades were higher. Besides that, I’m still looking for my motivation again and I can feel it coming back (in extremely small amounts but baby steps, y’know?). Right now, I’d say I’m in the fifth stage of development going to the fifth. I’m very much secure in my identity as a grade conscious student and eldest son (because my brothers JUST HAD to be the socially outgoing little munchkins going into the performing arts so guess who’s stuck in the natural sciences as an aspiring Physician?). This is a great time to talk about my dream as a doctor y’know? I tried out theater, sports and the humanities (like the vast majority of my family) but for the longest time, I couldn’t see any of them as my vocation or calling the way this medical dream has. Just the idea of helping people regardless of their background and fixing them up and making them feel better is something I have gotten behind. The politics? The social justice? The liberalism? The conservatism? The communism? Democracy? Libertarian? Honestly, it bores me and disillusions me. I feel like being a doctor is one of the last few professions that does good just for the sake of good (in it’s ideal form of course). Every other profession I can think of has so many labels and causes that go with it. But a doctor? Just keep them alive. Make sure they wake up. When they come to you sick, you simply treat them with all you have. I will have that white coat adorning my shoulders one day as I become a competent Surgeon who’ll help just because it’s the right thing to do. And yes, I will treat people regardless of their background. I mean it. If politicians, soldiers and social justice warriors and hardcore conservatives wanna fight, they can do it outside of my operating room. Everyone gets fair treatment from me. 

Overall, I’d say I’m a nine to ten among the first five the developmental stages that Erikson’s theory has described. Specifically, 10 for the first two stages then a 9 for the the third and fourth then a 10 again for the fifth. I hit some rough patches in the initiative and industry stages because those stages required some socializing of me that I just could not put out as an introvert. Honestly, I’d say with the utmost conviction that I’m syntonic and trustful because of the good stuff and bad stuff that made me “me”. Thanks to my mother’s version of family and my father finding ways to entertain me and my siblings, I’ve lived a gifted life so far. I’m the smartest. I have my lazy moments. I am not particularly athletic. BUT I am functioning individual with just the right mix of qualities that I need (like academic knowledge, determination, etc.) so that I can make my way in the world to one day help people as a good Surgeon. So yes, my parents gifts of family and fun do last and I fully intend to pass them on in my own unique way. 

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Being Nice To Somebody For Once (AKA Myself)

I don’t consider myself to be a very nice person to others or myself. I can be sarcastic, uncaring and callous when I feel displeased or unhappy. There are times when I make mean jokes at another person’s expense. For example, I continuously keep track of the failed crushes that a high school friend has had. She currently studies at the same university as me and needless to say, she is not happy when I bring it up. I also determine her current rate via the equation for speed which distance over time. Distance being the total number of crushes and time being the years I have known her. 

Honestly, I’m surprised at how high my self compassion score was (at 78) as to myself, I can be critical and harsh, calling myself lazy and apathetic when I feel that I haven’t studied enough and/or when I get a low grade. I think that criticizing oneself is a skill in and of itself. It takes serious dedication and sharp reasoning to be able to be fair and critical of someone else, much less yourself simply because we are confined to ourselves. The same way we can never see how expansive Earth is from its surface, we also have difficulty seeing our own true breadth and depth as individuals when we have to look at ourselves. 

Like any skill, it require development and people possess their own strengths and weaknesses regarding this competency. Personally, I feel like my main strength is my ability to put things in perspective that boils my mistakes down to human flaw. Essentially, I can see things through the lens of common humanity, understanding that I can never be perfect and can never be completely happy with who I am. The best I can do is to simply be thankful for whatever I have, no matter how much that may really be. This actually leads to my weakness which is that while I understand that people make mistakes, I also believe that there are times when we shouldn’t and can’t mess up. If my strength is common humanity, then my weakness is self judgment. As I said before, I see myself as a layabout when this happens and tend to heap pain upon myself in some attempt to make penance with my mistakes. I think the best thing for me to do for myself would be to just relax and find time to really kick back instead of procrastinating because I feel anxiety thanks to schoolwork.

Of course, I would also like to be able to maintain a positive attitude and I wanna follow what it means to simply be positive to achieve this. It’s really been awhile since I’ve seen the silver lining in college and I think it’d really help me if I just actively sought it out. For every bad encounter I have this week, I’ll go over the event and look for a positive realization. For example, If I get a bad test result but still manage to pass. Every realization will then be added to a Friend Total and my Friend Total will be the number of friends I have to talk to by the end of that week. This means I’ll have a real conversation with them and not just a few messages over Facebook. This also means that not only will I be able to gain positivity from negativity but I’ll have a direct source of positivity in the form of my friends.

Overall, I believe I am good at seeing the common humanity in my mistakes but tend to self judge myself too harshly. This creates lots of negativity that I want to address by leveraging my positivity ratio through finding positive realizations in negative experiences. Then, I will add these realizations together in a Friend Total that shows how many real talks I will have with friends by the end of the week and have each conversation with a different friend.

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Right In The (insert body part)

For a Biology major, I haven’t actually spent a lot of time studying body systems. I only learned about how the cardiovascular system and urinary system worked in 8th grade and other systems (like the muscular and skeletal) are things I’m learning now. What does this have to do with me understanding myself? It’s because I’m also learning about the mind. While not a body system the same way your muscles or bones are, it is still an extremely important part of human biology with different dimensions. With that in mind, I’ve actually learned a few interesting things about my own mind and self.

First is that the mind is dichotomous and contradictory. This is because our minds are divided into two systems. The first is System 1 which is our emotional and intuitive side devoted to automatic response. The second is System 2 which is our slow and deliberate side devoted to conscious effort. We hear of how thought and action must become one in order for a person to truly make good choices. We often hear about how we have to be at one with ourselves to completely understand the world around us. But like how life normally works out, the ideal rarely ever comes true. This system proves that. 

There are times when we want to get things over quickly, reacting within the moment to avoid tedious preparation. On the other hand, we sometimes believe that planning is the best way to go as we might not be able to think on our feet in order to find a solution. Most of the time? Well, most of the time we don’t even know how to act because these systems are at war with one another. Both are flawed, presenting separate advantages and disadvantages that can simultaneously be applicable to the situation at hand. This also parallels other conflicts within the individual. Do we trust our heads or our hearts? Do we do the morally “good” thing even if the situation means that it might not be the “right” thing (that actually helps others)?  These systems perfectly illustrate the part of human nature that seeks to consolidate ideas that are inherently incompatible. It is this drive that actually leads to my second takeaway.

Here, I learned that the human mind always attempts to explain it’s choices. Whether or not these decisions are actually good or bad, our mind will constantly try to rationalize what we choose. This is seen through the Triune Brain Theory and Cognitive Biases. For the Triune Brain Theory, it states that people have three parts to their brains: the Lizard (related to fight-or-flight), the Mammal (responsible for decision making) and the Human (which reasons and rationalizes). It’s ironic that the choice making system isn’t the most advanced with the part that wants to explain those choices taking the most advanced spot. This means that people can be impulsive and narrow-minded when making decisions, choosing based on an incomplete or inappropriate image of ourselves and others. This actually leads to the Cognitive Biases.

These biases affect our decision making as they indicate preconceptions and habits that make our reasoning flawed. Personally, I find myself guilty of the Peak End Rule where the sum of my experience is disregarded in favor of the quality of the ending. If my early experiences were good but the end was bad then the entire experience was bad. For me, this manifests in my hate of swimming in open water. Why? Because even if I had fun on the beaches as a child, I despised the waves hitting me in the face and tripping me. Most especially during high tide towards the end of the day. While this hatred is irrational, I explain it as the waves just being painful and irritating when the fact is I can now avoid them thanks to my own physical and mental growth. Even then, my own judgment of the experiences I had because of their negative endings still affects me to this day.

In the end, I learned that the human mind is rarely ever in agreement with itself, often possessing conflicting systems that hinder decision making that the mind struggles to coalesce. It is the attempt of the human mind to unite these ideas that leads to the human mind attempting to explain the individual’s choices. As we try to explain our decisions, these decisions and their explanations become flawed, being affected by Cognitive Biases that skew how we see the situations we find ourselves in.

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Under Lock and Key (OPTION 2)

As I’ve probably mentioned before, I’m not really a “feelings” person. I’m someone who prefers to use logic over emotions as I think emotions can be too messy whereas logic allows me to take a step back and examine things slowly. Because of this, I don’t see myself as being extremely in touch with my feeling self. I experience my emotions as very basic physical sensations. I see sadness as this very dull ache in my chest like I’ve been hit with a metal bat. Not really any crying or much moping. Happiness is this lightness in my joints as if I’ve been unchained from something heavy. Probably the emotion I experience with the the greatest depth is anger which I feel as this burning sensation in my eyes and limbs. I do have a temper and it manifests as me verbally lashing out at whatever is making me upset. To be frank, I can even get physical as I punch and kick objects if they are the reason for my rage. This has manifested in an old and damaged printer that my family has now thrown out.

With that in mind, I would say that I do allow myself to feel negative emotions. It’s just that these emotions aren’t felt to the same extent that other people might feel them. As I said, these emotions are just basic physical sensations.I attribute this to me being more “head over heart” which means that I cut off my emotions at some point so that I can see the situation with a detached attitude. I begin this emotional shutdown and detachment by cutting myself off from all people involved in the situation. I don’t talk to them or remain in their presence as doing so would allow them to influence my views. I then work through what I can gather about the situation on my own, asking myself questions like “Who is wrong?”, “Who is right?”, “Are my views of who is right and wrong actually accurate?” and “Is this situation actually worth time and effort?” . It’s at this point that I start talking to people one by one to verify if whatever I believe is in line with their own views. Afterwards, I make a decision based on what I think needs to be done to resolve problems based on what I believe and what I’ve heard from people around me. This is my framework for shutting off emotions by isolating myself from others because I find their emotions and even my own too “noisy” or influential on decision-making. 

                                  (ME MAKING DECISIONS)

What tends to happen is that I can make a decision that is primarily reason-based instead of feeling-based. This is normally seen as my idea that the situation is not serious as it is a squabble between two people that they can handle themselves. In essence, I leave them alone to handle their problems as meddling would only make things worse by adding another dimension to the problem (which is my own views and feelings of the events). However, that is the more positive side of me shutting off emotions. The more negative side comes in two parts: I feel emotions in extremes or not at all. 

The first one is more normal to me. It’s the one that I speak of when I say I have a temper. Again, I tend to shut off my emotions to help me think rationally but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel. This means that any negativity I have is stored up like water in a dam. Eventually, the dam breaks, leading to aforementioned temper flares. Depending on the negative emotion that is predominant, this “dam breaking” is different. If I’m sad, I tend to isolate myself and cry quietly. Not much sobbing or ugly face weeping. Just a thousand yard stare with tears. If I’m disgusted, I tend to be unresponsive and toxic to everyone and everything. Whereas before I would simply prefer to be alone, I would end up despising social situations where I would respond with sarcasm and eye rolls. For fear, I would end becoming overly meticulous and obsessive-compulsive with anything disrupting my carefully constructed personal order garnering my anger. 

The second one on the other hand is not as normal but the worse of the two in my opinion. It’s when I become completely lacking in emotion. No matter what happens and no matter what I am facing, the only thing I feel is that I want to achieve my goals (whatever they are). It’s like becoming a robot or golem where all I have to do is to complete tasks. This is the more callous and uncaring part of me which is why I see it as the worse of the two. This tends to happen after I feel immense frustration with people around me when working with them or just dealing with them socially. After some time, I just decide to go over their heads and do what I think needs to be done to achieve success. 

To sum it up, I am not highly in touch with my feeling self as I tend to keep negative and positive feelings locked away in order to make decisions based on logic instead of feelings. I do this by isolating myself from people to understand the situation through my own eyes and form my own opinions before interacting with them to understand their stories. While this has worked to help me use my mind over my heart, it has lead to me feeling my emotions in extremes or not feeling them at all to accomplish all jobs given to me. 

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The World, The Person and Me

The world today is more complex than in previous generations. With the advent of new technology and social media platforms, information is passed between users at an astounding rate. This has led to a massive cultural and economic exchange between nations and other powers with individuals caught in a rapidly changing world. Here, they must become competitive simply to survive.  As one of the many people in the ever shifting modern world, it makes sense that I would have qualities that make life easier and harder for me. An easy way to define these personal characteristics would be through Urie Bronfenbrenner’s Process-Person-Context-Time (PPCT) model. 

Personal characteristics would fall under the Person dimension in three categories: demand, force and resource. Demand characteristics are things that create expectations and are innate to a person like age, gender or race. With me, I have light skin and I don’t look like a lot of people around me. Coming from an Asian country where others have duskier and tan skin, I look foreign because of my skin and also because I speak English with an accent that makes me sound American. Because of this, people have mistaken me as Caucasian (when I’m actually Filipino with some foreign blood). Coupled with my height (5′9) which is tall for a Filipino male, people tend to see my as some rich and upper crust child. 

Due to this, people have been afraid to talk to me before because of my features and accent as they assume I’m not from the Philippines. Aside from this, I haven’t really noticed any ways in which I am treated differently from other people. Maybe I simply haven’t been paying attention. But I honestly cannot determine any way in which I receive any unusual treatment or expectations aside from people not wanting to talk to me since I look and speak in a foreign way. In college, I don’t think this would be very advantageous as people would not want to talk to me, making it more difficult for me to interact with anyone who could help me with problems.

When people get to know me, they say that I’m a bookworm. I remembers things best by reading and practice, creating routines and rituals for myself. This quality is a Resource characteristic related to one’s mental, emotional and material opportunities like intelligence, skills and status. I have presented my first Resource characteristic: my ability to routinize how I act in school and life. Lots of what I do has been pre-set like a clock. If I have a break, I always head to the study hall or library to study. I can also rest from studying for a bit if I mostly understand the lesson, I can rest for thirty minutes to an hour. If I completely understand, I can even completely refrain from studying over my break. For my notes in science classes, I always leave space to the side of the page for extra information outside of the Powerpoint presentations from my lecturers as these classes tend to have an information overload. 

All in all, I think this is a very useful skill to have in college as it means that I’m mostly being productive or taking a break because I was already productive. Of course, I’m not perfect. I have my moments (even days) of procrastination as school becomes so hectic and boring that I’d drop anything related to it. Obviously, this is a negative quality to have as a college student as work can pile up, leaving me with more sleepless nights and exhaustion. 

Other than my own ability to act on my own internalized schedule, I also do have a good family. They are genuinely loving and dedicated to helping me out (which I’m thankful for). This is an excellent thing to have in college as the people that really know me (because I live with them) are also the people that support me with whatever I need. This means that their aid is well tailored to me as a person and is done with the best of intentions. Adding the fact that my family has the means to send me to an expensive university, I would say that my life is good because of my family in and outside of university. 

Finally, we have the Force characteristics related to individual drive and attitude. For me, this manifests as a sense of pragmatism and logic that people have pointed out to me. In short, my view is the best line is a straight line when it comes to achieving goals. I disregard emotions when it comes work, preferring whatever method gets the job done. To me, this quality is both good and bad. It’s good as I can shut out all emotional distractions like doubt, anxiety and fear of failure so that I can relentlessly focus on completing the task at hand. This means that I can work efficiently in college for extended time periods. It is bad, however, as I can overexert myself and others around me (in group work) until it becomes habitual and unhealthy, draining me mentally and physically in college. 

I think this aspect of my Person dimension has changed how people deal with me. I notice that people are a bit more formal and serious around me (maybe even afraid) because of how driven I can become when I’m determined to do something. I think this has partially affected expectations of me as well. Whenever I do shed the more serious and practical side of me to crack a joke, people tend to be surprised that I have a sense of humor. Take for example this colorized photo of me in high school:

Did you laugh? Maybe not. Maybe you did. Regardless, this illustrates my point. With how serious the tone of my writing usually is, humor is a shock to those around me. Maybe this is good since my humor can get dark and very “gallows humor”- y. I think this unusual humor of mine would actually be very helpful in college as it helps me de-stress and relax (even though it’s weird and not the most palatable type of comedy).

Overall, my Person dimension hasn’t affected my life all that much. My Demand characteristics have only made people slightly more wary of talking to me. On the other hand, my Resource attributes have allowed to systematize my life with strong family support with occasional moments of laziness as my personal flaw. My Force temperament has allowed me to dedicate myself and take a rational approach to work. However, this can also overwork me and even drive people away with my near-obsession with finishing my tasks.

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Looking Inwards (Thoughts on Inside Out and other things)

Inside Out is one of Disney’s more recent movies. It was only released in 2015 and (like most Disney movies) has become wildly popular and loved. Aside from being entertaining, it also offers a nice look into the human mind in several memorable scenes. To me, one part that shows this the dinner scene where Riley ends up arguing with her parents. It’s interesting as it gives us a look into the minds of Riley’s mother and father, the only other important human characters in the movie. As they watch their daughter, they converse and their interaction is dictated by their own emotions much like Riley. However, their dominant emotions are different. Riley’s father is dominated by his Anger and her mother is dominated by her Sadness. However, these emotions are markedly different from their counterparts in their daughter.

Her father’s Anger appears with a mustache and is more calm and reasonable compared to Riley’s Anger. His Anger is simply serious and straight laced, lacking the flaming head and unbridled rage of Riley’s Anger. This could explain her father’s sterner temperament compared to her Mother. On the other hand, Riley’s mom displays a more empathetic and understanding nature. This reflect’s her Sadness, who is a glasses wearing persona with a quiet and sensitive attitude instead of the dour mood of Riley’s Sadness. This shows us that people experience the same emotions differently, internalizing and using these feelings in varying degrees to maintain their own individual personalities. We can see this in the differences of the same emotions in different people and how they are depicted between individuals.

Another notable scene is at the Hockey Game towards the end of the movie. As Riley is making her back onto the ice, she bumps into a boy and gives him his drink after he dropped it during their collision. I found this scene memorable as it was relatable to anyone who has ever experienced a crush/relationship and showed us how people can “space out” or become totally unresponsive. The camera then pans into the inside of the boy’s head, showing us that all of his emotions have begun panicking with Riley in front of him. In reality, he is staring dumbfounded and wide eyed at Riley. This showed us our emotions are not always in control, especially when experiencing something unfamiliar. Here, it’s seen when the boy creeps Riley out as he silently panics after bumping into a girl for what is presumably the first time (as his emotions freak out and scream “Girl!” repeatedly).

The last notable scene returns to the end of the movie. Joy and Sadness have returned to the control center, which has almost completely collapsed in their absence. In real life, Riley has stepped on a bus to Minnesota, wishing to return to her old home. Desperate, Joy allows the normally disliked Sadness to interact with the control console. Sadness dislodges a light bulb representing the idea of Riley running away to Minnesota, immediately restarting the console and restoring Riley’s mindscape. Riley returns home with her emotions fully restored, breaking down in tears as she tells her parents that she misses Minnesota. Upon hearing this, her parents console with a hug and Riley is saved by Sadness. I enjoyed this part as it was the “happy ending” of the story and was more effective (in my opinion) of conveying the importance of Sadness’ than the earlier scene in the pit. It shows us that true mental balance comes from being able to experience all emotions as they are natural parts of ourselves.This is seen in the ability of Sadness to save Riley’s mindscape even though the other emotions neglected her throughout the film. 

Personally, I found out how emotionally different I am from my friends this week. As I was hanging out with them, the topic gradually went over to relationships and sex. It seemed to me like they were all looking for relationships. I believe they were sad that one of us hadn’t had their first kiss yet. I, on the other hand, was always more concerned with grades, learning and nerdy stuff (Star Wars, Gintama, Batman, Goblin Slayer, etc.). As a matter of fact, the reason I consider them my closest friends is because they’re concerned about those things as well. But as this conversation continued, I found myself uninterested and not participative. First, because I wasn’t concerned with these things in the first place. Second, because I disagreed with some of the things they said. 

One of them was even urging another to have sex before marriage/serious relationship for the simple purpose of experience for marriage/serious relationship. Particularly sex with someone they would never see after the sexual encounter. I’m not overly religious and I don’t see myself as conservative  at all. However, I disagreed for a number of reasons. I found it reckless as getting it on with someone you would never see after the encounter implied that you had never met them before said encounter. With the threat of STD’s and STI’s, their thinking was in no way sensible. That’s my logical reason. My more emotional reason asks “Why give something to someone you don’t care about and doesn’t care about you either?”. To me, sex isn’t just a physical experience. It’s an emotional one as well. You’re literally and metaphorically connecting with someone else. That connection is valuable as you are both giving something emotionally and physically, first timer or not. With that in mind, I don’t think giving should done when the giving isn’t truly appreciated. 

This illustrates the difference between me and my friends. I tend to keep a lid on my emotions and when I make decisions based on my emotions, I ensure that I still have a logical reason to back it up. My friends on the other hand are more open with their feelings and seek social connections that can lead to immediate emotional intimacy. That happens when you’re the only IxTJ in your group.

I think the best way to apply this learning would be to use it to guide the way I interact. Most people call me practical and determined, saying that I see things based on what I want and how efficiently I can achieve them (without emotional considerations). If I really want something, I’ll simply work myself to bone for it without hesitation. If I don’t care about something, I’ll drop it no problem. The thing is not everyone is like this and may take offense at my blunt and logical approach. When dealing with others, I think I should keep this in mind and take care to voice my opinions in a way that is a bit more empathetic.People sometimes tell me that my vocabulary and demeanor are logical and driven to the point of being robotic like below.

I should make my responses less curt to ensure that no one feels that I don’t really care. Also, I think I could add a bit more to my facial expression so that people understand my intentions. Maybe they do have a point since my face is normally pretty dead eyed.Though normally my facial expressions end up weird which is why I keep things more neutral. 

In the end, I think it simply boils down to being more open and more responsive. To reiterate, I think the best way to apply my emotional differences from people (being robotic as I am very pragmatic and dedicated to getting my job done) would be to work on being slightly less robotic in order to communicate my intentions in a better fashion.