jkmoira - Tumblr blog

[jkmoira]

“ right, right --- i’m having the same predicament. you don’t think she’s sick, do you? ”

“well. i don’t have fan mail or mail in general, but i do love chocolate covered strawberries.” she climbs into bed next to the blonde, smiling a little. “just, this cat nip thing has me a little confused because what kind of cat doesn’t like cat nip? it just seems a little strange, to be honest. like, are you sure you have a cat there or what?“

[jkmoira]

“ we’re at a bit of an impasse, then. ”

“Anything really. Just nothing soppy and romantic.”

[jkmoira]

“ i will, really. nah, i’m too lazy for all that. i’ll just hand it to you. ”

“ but you do know that there’s much more to alcohol than beer and wine, right ? i don’t think beer really works for anyone but men and underage kids in high school basement parties. and even then i swear they’re all just pretending that it actually taste okay. awh, will you really ?! how kind. are you gonna slide it under my door like a secret admirer ? ”

[jkmoira]

“ what do you like to watch? ”

“Woah, your cat doesn’t like catnip? Your cat must be like… a dog disguised as a cat. I’m always down for eating sweets to be honest so let’s do this.”

[jkmoira]

“ does that mean you’re volunteering to be my plus one? ”

she chuckled at the other girl, “ what cat doesn’t like cat nip? i’m sorry, but your cat’s weird. but maybe it’s best for it - isn’t catnip like, a drug for cats? i dunno. hey, drinking a bottle of red wine before noon sounds like the ideal morning to me. and chocolate covered strawberries? you’ve had a hell of a morning. “

[jkmoira]

“ over the moon, actually. i down it because it’s not beer, and it still gets me drunk. beer doesn’t work for me in the taste and smell department --- i think i nearly hurl every time i’m even near it. yeah, sure. of course you can. i’ll write you a letter. this’ll work out just fine. ”

“ just a couple questions, alright. firstly, are you okay ? i mean, i’m not here to judge, definitely not. but the only people i know who down red wine before noon are alcoholics or stay at home mom’s. also, secondly, do i get to partake in the whole sweets and cuddling even if i don’t have any mail ? ”

[jkmoira]

xxvi // STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES.

s01. driven  s02. passionate  s03. understanding  s04. creative  s05. intelligent   w01. stubborn  w02. insecure   w03. loquacious   w04. timid   w05. forgiving

[jkmoira]

“ so, as it turns out, my kitten actually doesn’t like catnip, and i’m almost done with this bottle of red wine, and it’s not even noon. everything i’ve come to know about cats and the time it takes me to polish off a bottle is sinking into oblivion. but, in other news, my bed is littered with chocolate-covered strawberry containers and fan letters, so if anybody wants to bring their mail and share some sweets while maybe cuddling with me, here’s your invite. ”

[jkmoira]

@moiramottla: happy valentine's day, everyone! whether you're with your significant other, family, or curled up in bed with a bag of taco bell and the kitten you adopted today like yours truly, +

@moiramottla: i hope you have the best day! tell the people you love that you love them while you still can. there's always time for an 'i love you.' :')

@moiramottla: alsOoOoO, my heart is especially with those in toxic relationships today. you are strong, and you can get out of them and/or through them. i know how hard today must be. take care of yourself, & if the situation is really hurting you, please do what it takes to get out.

@moiramottla: i love you, and i believe in you. always.

[jkmoira]

xxv // RANDOM FACTS.

i. i dyed my hair blue temporarily shortly after joining prove. ii. i eat cocoa pebbles w/ a spoon but w/o milk. iii. anytime i run a fever, it’s super high. iv. my first celebrity crush was leo dicaprio. v. i do my best writing at night when most of the house is sleeping...or, y’know...occupied. vi. my favorite lipstick color is red. vii. i’ve only had one real boyfriend. viii. i fear and crave commitment. ix. i have a semicolon tattoo behind my ear. x. my favorite ice cream is coffee. xi. i taught myself the basics of piano and took lessons to really get the hang of it to get to where i am now with my piano-playing. xii. my favorite food is red velvet cheesecake. xiii. when i got signed to prove, i got so excited i starting singing in the shower, nearly fell, and ruined my favorite bar of soap. xiv. i wear acrylics so i don’t bite my nails when i get nervous. xv. small coffee shops are always a better place to find me than at a starbucks. xvi. i love astronomy. xvii. my guilty pleasure is probably watching the bachelor in a robe with a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries. xviii. i get my eyebrows waxed. threading is too much. xix. i apologize too much out of fear and of habit. xx. talking on the phone is always better than texting, in my book.

[jkmoira]

xxiv // WHAT ARE YOU CARRYING?

in my everyday purse, i carry hand sanitizer, tissues, band-aids, advil, claritin, hydrocortizone cream, and cough drops. as the mom friend, i feel obligated to. i also have the essentials: my wallet, keys, songwriting book, bullet journal, pens, pencils, and a couple receipts that i doodle tattoo ideas on. i also keep peppermint gum, travel size hairspray, 16hr kissproof liquid red lipstick (because a girl’s gotta be prepared), and some other makeup basics like mascara, foundation/powder, and setting spray. i also keep pepper spray (on my keys), and more often than not, there’s a handful of granola bars or a clementine in my bag, too.

[jkmoira]

xxiii // WISHES. 

i. i wish i could carry the hurt of others. i hate seeing people torn apart, and if i could carry that weight instead of them, i’d do it in a heartbeat.

ii. i wish i could read a book by flipping through it, still able to get the experience of reading a book. you know how much i could know like that? i could flip through a textbook, and instantly, i’m a physics expert. it’d be wild, to know that much so easily.

iii. i wish people could only change for the better. that the boy you grew up with never got into drugs and went to jail, but instead went to college and got a job. that people don’t turn into people who hurt you but people who uplift you.

iv. i wish that there was no social injustice, or gender inequality, or anything to divide us as a people. i wish we could all be together instead of strewn by differences.

v. i wish that i could always sing, and not have to constantly be drinking tea and watching out for my fragile vocal cords. 

vi. i wish that every time someone said ‘i love you,’ they meant it.

[jkmoira]

an odd feeling washed over the blonde as avery left the room without warning, his sauntering steps seeming like nothing had happened. had nothing happened? moira figured she was reading too much into things for the millionth time, and what meant the world to her just didn’t hold the same amount of significance to avery. she spent the next moments pacing back and forth across the room, fighting the urge to bite her nails or go looking for avery. he’ll come back, she told herself. he’ll come back. traditionally, moira wouldn’t have said such a thing, preaching that it was statistically impossible to say that something has a 100% probability of happening --- but, avery did come back, picking up their conversation right where he’d let it taper off. and it was so goddamn strange to moira to see him act that way, but she would rather have something than nothing at all, so she avoided any further interrogation than the thought process she’d kept to herself. within minutes of avery’s return, he’d proposed a question: one that she was prepared to answer but instead was cut off by the piano’s voice breaking the tension that still seemed to waltz between them.

there was something about avery’s voice that had always affected moira on some level that she couldn’t explain. he could read something as ridiculous as his agenda for the day, and he’d probably have the girl weak-kneed just listening to the inflections of various words. his singing, however, was on a whole different level. it was hard to get to avery sometimes, to make him toss his feelings or thoughts into the open, but that seemed to be exactly what he was doing. it was hard to watch him like that, moira thought, breathing life to what he had probably hidden from her/pent up for so long. as soon as he finished, moira tried to say what she’d been thinking while he’d sang, but the words just wouldn’t come out right.·“i, uh ---- it’s so. it’s perfect, ave. so, so beautiful.” her head nodded along with her words as reassurance, hoping her shaky speech didn’t detract from the authenticity of her words.·“do you really feel like that?” she spoke, her voice growing significantly softer, as she felt herself feeling small.·“i don’t mean to sound like i’m calling you a liar, but i never knew... i’m sorry.”

the next moments were either completely unpredictable, or utterly obvious as moira wrapped herself around avery’s frame. her arms found his neck (as they’d grown to absentmindedly) as she let her head fall to his shoulder.·“i never should have left without warning and let you feel like i didn’t care. i never should’ve given up so easily, just because i didn’t know what to do or how to fix things. i never should’ve tried to trick myself into thinking that this was something i could just get over, like a bruised knee or a black eye.” she could feel tears starting to pool in the corners of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly as an attempt to shy them away.·“and i’m sorry that i texted you and told you i love you out of nowhere, but my mom always said to be honest while you still can. i wasn’t trying to make you feel obligated to try to make things with me like they used to be, or make you feel like you owed me some sort of reply because i’d just said something like that. i just wanted to tell you i still felt the same, because i guess for all we know, i could be in some freak accident tomorrow. and i want you to know that i love you today, and every day after.”

feeling used, but i’m still missing you. ✘ mavery.

avery listened intently as the words came from moira’s lips, in all honesty, from the moment she had begun he tried to turn his attention more towards the piano accompanying her words instead of putting his entire focus on what the girl was singing. all the words felt as if they were aimed at him, felt as if she had written them specifically with him in mind and they hurt. he wouldn’t lie about that. throughout the entire dilemma of these two he never once thought about the other side. he never really once considered what pain he may have caused moira; selfishness being one of his strongest traits. and now sitting here, hearing her sing these words, especially when the music had stopped and it was just her vocals, he felt them sting a little more. he felt as if the entire thing was all starting to settle in; he was finally having to face what she felt. her true feelings, not the candy coated feelings she had been putting up in front of him every single time the two talked. 

before avery responded to her question, he slowly stood up, excusing himself from the room for just a moment. as he walked out the studio, he left the main building from the back, avoiding any interaction with anyone that he had passed. pulling out a prepared joint from his front pocket, he lit it up, taking a couple hits and releasing the smoke into the air. he needed to keep himself from getting too overwhelmed from all that was happening. something so simple as creating music with moira was something huge. something that he once imagined would be just as casual and easy as spending a saturday driving through california with one another had become like climbing a mountain. but he was willing to get it done, he was hoping this would be their first step towards something. something good.

avery made his way back to the studio, acting as if he never left, responding to the last thing that he had heard moira say. “ha, you sure ‘bout that. ” he laughed a little bit, not really thinking too much about the her. the her could be a numerous amount of people. avery had his fair share of people in the past couple months, meaningless touches and even more meaningless conversations to fill up all the voids that the people he truly cared for had built in his body. grabbing his backpack from up off the floor and pulling out an old style notepad and pencil, he started tapping it against the pad. “yeah, its alright. i think i can make it better.” he smirked, raising his eyebrows, a rare moment of avery actually being confident in himself showing through. avery sat, eyes looking down at the ground, as he hummed what he had just heard moira play on the piano. if you wanted me you would just say so and if i were you, i would never let me go, he scribbled across the notepad. feeling that maybe he should write to moira in the same way that he felt her words come at him. scribbling in silence for about ten minutes, avery looked up, “what do you think about this?” keeping in mind of the piano, avery began to speak out loud, sharing the work he had created, feeling confident and nervous all at the same time.

“now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed, always missing people that i shouldn’t be missing. sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance. i know that i control my thoughts and i should stop reminiscing, but i learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings. when love and trust are gone, i guess this is moving on.”

“so what do you say?” he questioned as his eyes made contact with moira’s for possibly the first time since the two had entered the building. “some stuff that should come before it, some shit that should come after it, but i mean, for a little piece, what do you think?”

[jkmoira]

t e x t ✉️ open

Liv: that would noT be fun im allergic & get hella sniffly when theres fur around so shiEt

Moira: oh yikes that's rough

[jkmoira]

ANAPERSEPHONE: idk what this is but it’s good ANAPERSEPHONE: also did u see i got a dog ANAPERSEPHONE: his name is winston ANAPERSEPHONE: and i got him a 24k gold tag is that dumb ANAPERSEPHONE: no it’s not cause he looks a milli

MOIRA: winston is such a cute name i’m weak

( 🌑 · . +🌙 — SNAPCHAT !

[jkmoira]

t e x t ✉️ open

Liv: did anyone fucking go into my room while i was on tour

Liv: i just got back & it literally smells like ass what the fuck is this

Moira: $5 says somebody's dog took your room over while you were away

[jkmoira]

imessage ✉ grayson.

grayson: yes ma'am 👍👍👍

moira: good. but, you know, it's okay not to be. if something's wrong.