joanmarston

[joanmarston]

like this

playing this on repeat in my truck on my drive to therapy tomorrow

[joanmarston]

playing this on repeat in my truck on my drive to therapy tomorrow

[joanmarston]

[joanmarston]

[joanmarston]

"he wants to be an American King with his knights"

[joanmarston]

This is a take 2 of yesterday's experiment, but this time i'm using more blues. I'm pretty pleased with this one 💙✨

(Mijello mission gold, winsor newton gold ink, canson xl aquarelle)

WIPs:

[joanmarston]

bluebeard au.... john as dutch's last wife

[joanmarston]

nothing better than killing yourself at the end of a stressful day

[joanmarston]

You've infected me with the Vandermarston disease because I'm seeing them everywhere.

Because, I'm rereading Fahrenheit 451, and this exchange (if you don't want a small (not very plot relevant) convo spoiled, I recommend you don't read further) reminded me of John's role in the gang and how Dutch groomed him so much 🤮🤮

The exchange;

"It doesn't think anything we don't want it to think."

"That's sad," said Montag, quietly, "because all we put into it is hunting and finding and killing. What shame if that's all it can ever know."

Beatty snorted, gently. "Hell! It's a fine bit of craftsmanship, a good rifle that can fetch its own target and guarantees the bull’s-eye every time.”

These lines... driving me mad.... so vandermarston to me that I think I may vomit...

that’s because they are everywhere, the vandermarston goggles stay on 24/7

what shame if that's all it can ever know…. wah ;n; thinking about all those times after he left the gang and continued killing people and getting into trouble resulting in him and his family moving from place to place and eventually abigail leaving him. it’s always reminded me a lot of how victims sometimes go on to recreate their trauma throughout their life because sometimes that is all you can ever know. a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort etc etc.

and how much easier it is for victims to be taken advantage of. similar to how ross and everyone who ever used him recognized that vulnerability in him, very much "hell! it's a fine bit of craftsmanship, a good rifle that can fetch its own target and guarantees the bull’s-eye every time."

that whole exchange reminds me of this...

[joanmarston]

strangles you with the red thread tying us together

[joanmarston]

Nothing had ever made me angrier.

[joanmarston]

NOSFERATU (2024), dir. Robert Eggers

[joanmarston]

i thought why not combine my fav father-son song with my fav father and son in media 😛

[joanmarston]

pretty little head by eliza rickman is joan and the hand that feeds by nin is john there are vandermarstons everywhere for those with eyes to see yada yada yada

YEESSS running around in a circle listening to those songs and thinking about them awooga

"there are vandermarstons everywhere for those with eyes to see" fax my brother, realer words have never been spoken before

[joanmarston]

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