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Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

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sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

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friend how are we feeling about the season 27 announcement!!!! personally i am bouncing off the walls!!!!!!

I'm so here for the Elon slander 😩🥹 A-hole in a k-hole! Ain't no way he and Trey are playing D&D together now!!!!

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reblog to reassure the next person who reads this that everything is going to be okay and it’s all going to get easier soon

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everyone on this site

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Working on two! Open to more. :)

It took over a year but masterlist is up and reqs are officially opened :) let's get the fic part of this fandom back up and running maybe

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Dude your writing is actually so cool! I hope the Matt and Trey fandom start back up again! I fear I missed the fandom in it’s prime

Manifesting a renaissance fr!!!!!! Also yeah the prime of the fandom was absolutely messy but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an absolute blast lmao

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Happiness Will Come To You.

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if you're in your 20s just remember that you're in your 20s and being in your 20s is like being anywhere between 20-29

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Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

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The “he was kinda cute when he was young lol” to “I need to fuck that old man nasty style” pipeline

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happy Thursday the 20th

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Matt x F!Reader (+ Trey)

Smut, Voyeurism, Male Masturbation

It was late at night after a long day of traveling. I had decided to tag along with my husband, Matt, on his work travels. I, of course, would miss him terribly like always if I didn’t come. Luckily he was happy to have me. And Trey didn’t seem to mind it either.

The three of us find a hotel for the night. Once we get to the front desk we learn that there are only two-bed bedrooms left.

Okay, not a big deal. We’re all adults here. Except, I anticipated having my husband tonight and I knew nothing would stop me. Maybe I could come up with some excuse to be alone with my Matt.

We take the room. Trey and Matt don’t seem to care about sharing a room together. We make our way to our room.

It’s quite small but just enough for tonight. It had two full-sized beds, a TV, and a chair in the corner of the room. Trey claims the bed on the further side leaving Matt and I to the first bed. I knew this was my chance to get it in with my husband. “Hey, Matty, I'm gonna take a shower,” I say expectantly but all he does is give a weak nod. He looked exhausted, they both did. But unfortunately, I’m selfish when it comes to my feminine urges.

I watch idly as both get ready for bed rather quickly. Matt gave me a look, silently asking me if I was still gonna take a shower. I leave that thought behind and I just get in bed with my husband.

The lights go out once I cuddle into my husband's side. Matt lays on his back and his arm wraps around my waist once I cuddle into him. I trail my fingers down his chest seductively while he grabs my hand stopping me in my tracks. “Not tonight, baby.” He whispers in the dark. “But I need you.” I rebutted quietly. “I'll be quick” All he does is sigh defeatedly. “Fine. but you’ll have to be quiet.” I perk up at his defeat “Yes, baby.” I then pull him into a heated kiss.

Trey’s POV

My head hits the pillow once I turn off the lights. I was too tired to care about anything. I could hear Matt and y/n whisper faintly but I was almost half asleep by then. Until I hear lips smacking, quickened breaths, and hushed moans.

My eyes shoot wide open. Goddammit. I should’ve known this would happen. I look over to their bed and see y/n’s figure on top of Matt's. Despite it being dark I could still see the couple almost clearly. I watch as y/n then straddles Matt only to turn herself around into a reverse cowgirl position. Holy shit.

I had to admit that I had a thing for y/n. My best friend's wife. She's an attractive woman, and I'm only a man. I remember how Matt and I used to talk about her before they started dating. How hot she is and what we would do to her. And now this is my best friend’s reality. Good for him. Truly. But that didn’t stop my dick from jumping at the sight of y/n about to ride her husband.

She aligns herself with Matt under the covers before sinking onto him. She lets out a breathy moan and a quiet whimper that Matt pulls her hair for; a reminder for her to shut up. She then begins to bounce on him up and down. The noises. Oh my god, the noises. The sound of her creamy wet pussy riding Matt's dick mixed with the sound of her ass slapping against his hips. I could see her in the moonlight bouncing on him like she was possessed. I couldn’t help but bring my attention to my cock. I begin to stroke it as my eyes are glued onto her ass. I desperately try to imagine it’s me she's bouncing on as I stroke myself faster and faster. I feel myself getting closer as I take in the scene. The sight of her bouncing on his cock mixed with the sounds of it all was enough to bring me to my climax. I cum all over my hand still imagining her. I tuck my dick back into the waistband of my boxers as I listen to them finish. They both cum with a moan and she lets out a suppressed squeal that he slaps her ass for. Their movements slow and she gets off of him and cuddles into his side. Before I fall asleep I hear faint whispers from them again. “I love you.” and a quiet “I love you too.”

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omg it’s so nice to see someone active on mattrey tumblr again, south park spring is SO back babey !!

I gotta feed the community 🫡

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It took over a year but masterlist is up and reqs are officially opened :) let's get the fic part of this fandom back up and running maybe

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Fic Masterlist

I know I said I'd do this like over a year ago but here it is to make nav easier :)

letters and sodas (college!trey x reader, smut)

(in which your friend's recent breakup leads to the start of your new fwb arrangement)

passenger princess (90s!trey x reader, smut)

(you decide to liven up you and your boyfriend's drive to your new apartment with some good ol' roadhead.)

freak accident (vampire!trey x reader, smut)

(your vampire bf gets a little too wild biting you. it turns out better than you expected.)

dogtooth (joe cooper x jenna reed, smut)

(coop eats jenna out. it goes crazy.)

office pet (matt x reader x trey, smut)

(matt getting jealous of trey isn't necessarily a bad thing.)