joelmillergirl

[joelmillergirl]

🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hot n' Cold

Word count: 4,898

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving), piv, unprotected sex, creampie, hard/passionate sex, cowboy🤠

Authors Note: It was hot, I wrote smut, what do you want from me.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You had your curtains drawn, shielding your house from the violent light outside. It was officially Summer, and you were already hating it. 

Summer had always been your least favourite season, even before the outbreak when you had better access to fans and coolers. Now, finding a fan that wasn’t rusted and broken was rare, a reality you tried hardest not to think about.

You had resorted to laying down on your kitchen tiles, limbs spread out lazily in almost a desperate attempt to cool off. You prayed that someone here in Jackson would be able to get the old air conditioning units working, but given it had been a year of trial and error, you weren’t feeling too hopeful. 

With a huff, you sluggishly lift up your arm, checking the time on your old watch. It was just getting into the evening, and with no sign of the heat dimming down just yet, you accepted defeat. 

With no energy to do anything, you decided then and there that the rest of your day would look the same, you laying on your floor until it cooled down enough so you’d be able to have a decent amount of sleep. Your plans, however, were rudely interrupted by knocking at your front door. 

You lift your head up slightly, eyes training past your living room to the front entrance, “Are you fucking kidding me?” You groan, seeing a blurry figure waiting through the stained glass next to your door. 

Only when three more knocks echoed through the house did you grudgingly pull yourself up, almost limping to the front door due to your lack of energy. You were frowning when you opened the door, face to face with your closest friend. 

“I know.” Joel nodded, looking almost smug at your unamused expression. “How you handlin’ it?” 

If even possible, your face contorted further into a frown, shaking your head slightly at him. “I’m sweating from places I don’t even feel comfortable naming.” You deadpanned, biting your lip to smother a smile. 

Joel hummed, his eyes quickly raking over your figure before coming back to rest on your face, “Tommy’s got people working on getting the units workin’” 

You interrupt him, “Okay… Joel? Inside, please. The heat is literally hitting me on the face and I’m about to just lose my cool.” 

With a nod, he stepped inside the border of your house, gently closing the door behind him. “Do you even have any cool to lose?” He joked.

You glare at him for a moment before going back to your kitchen, slumping down on the floor. “They’ve been trying to get them to work for ages, I will go out there myself and get them to work if I do not hear that thing running anytime soon.” You point to the air conditioning unit in the living room. 

“They’ll get it sorted. Don’t think they particularly appreciate workin’ in this weather fixing somethin’.” He said, groaning as he sat down adjacent to you, head leaning back against your fridge. 

He suddenly frowned, looking over his shoulder slightly at the fridge behind him, then he was up, knees cracking beneath him as he moved to where you were, nudging you out the way. You looked at him confused. He nudged his head towards the fridge, “Go sit there.” 

You complied, moving to sit where Joel had been, an instant flush of cool hit the back of your neck. “Dammit, why didn’t I think of this.” You mutter, pressing your back against the cold steel.

“Heat‘s messin’ with ya, huh?” Joel chuckled, tilting his head slightly. You shake your head in response, gently closing your eyes and untensing your limbs. 

You met Joel four years ago when Tommy had introduced you to him. He’d just arrived at Jackson, and you’d been assigned to be his patrol partner which was only supposed to last a couple months, but you’d been such a good duo, Maria had decided to make it permanent. 

Over the past couple months though, your relationship with him had seemingly changed. With recent struggles brewing between him and Ellie, you seemed to always be by his side, for his comfort but also your own. You didn’t always have to talk with him, a lot of the time you’d sit comfortably next to each other, doing your own thing whilst he strummed on his guitar.

The boundary line was ever so slowly becoming blurred, feelings becoming confusing. But like a lot of topics that required confrontation, you push it to the back of your mind, adopting the quote; out of sight out of mind. 

“What’s got that head worked up?” Joel mumbled in front of you, dragging your mind back to reality. 

You looked at him for a moment, blinking slowly. “Nothing.” You plainly say, smiling at him gently before closing your eyes again. 

The next day wasn’t any better. 

The air conditioning still wasn’t working and your tactic of closing the curtains to deflect the heat, was now failing. Rather than lying on your tiles, moping all day, you had resorted to hanging out in The Tipsy Bison, a cozy makeshift bar in the middle of Jackson. 

The only reason you’d packed up the courage to be in such a social setting was due to the cold drinks offered there and most importantly, it had a big fan mounted to the wall that actually worked. It was a step up from how hot you were yesterday, and the drink in your hand was helping to cool your skin. 

The leather next to you sunk as someone sat down in the empty booth you were sitting at. You turn your head to your left, coming face to face with Tommy; Joel’s younger brother. “Hi,” He smiled, “Fuckin’ steamin’ out there.” 

You raise your eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “Steaming?” 

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded, leaning over to peer into your glass, “Some people are out there, sweatin’ their gooch off, trynna get air working for lazy folks like you.” 

A pair of women next to your booth look over at his words, eyeing you and Tommy down. You quickly look away. “Can you not speak like that in public?” You huff, close to speechless. 

Tommy laughs loudly, finding himself hilarious, but suddenly his demeanour changes and he turns to you with a serious look. “So… How’s Joel?” 

You look at him for a moment before answering, “He’s your brother, ask him yourself.” You’re silent for a second before you smile, “Why’re you here bothering me? Go get the air working.” 

He shakes his head, a smile spread wide across his face, "Just have to get out the heat for a fuckin, minute. Saw you here... Haven't talked for a while."

"And the first thing you wanna do is ask how your brother is?" You ask, tilting your head slightly at him.

He looks away from you, sucking in a breath, "Feisty."

“Tommy, if it’s not cold in my house tomorrow I’m gonna kill you.” You warn, a warm breeze filing through the cracks of the windows.

"Jesus, woman." Tommy says, shaking his head slightly, “Venom.” He stands up and adjusts his jeans, “Every word you spit at me is laced with venom.” 

You laugh gently, gesturing your head towards the front door, "Go work some more." You watch as he walks away, an unexplainable pit in the bottom of your stomach. You avoid the stares coming from the booth again.

People talked a lot in Jackson. Usually it was all rumours, secret words whispered behind a hand as you walked by, it brought a sense of familiarity back, considering they were acting like they were in high school again. 

They noticed things, could see the little things, like how you and Joel were always together, seemingly always just alone. You supposed it gave them a sense of familiarity too, finally being able to talk about something other than the end of the world. 

Sometimes it made you feel good, knowing other people could see Joel was focused on you, watching as he turned down other women just to talk to you. Aside from the odd insult you’d hear every now and then, you weren’t bothered by the rumours. 

On your way home, you decided to stop by Joel’s. The side gate was unlocked, the hinges creaking quietly as it gently banged open and closed. Hot wind. Adding onto the heat. You could hear him before you saw him, the gentle strum of his guitar, a low hum. You round the corner, stopping by the edge of the house to watch him, a smile tugging at your lips. 

He sat in a chair he made himself on his back porch, he’d made you a set also, specialised carving in the wood. He had a leg crossed over the other, his foot jerking to the beat of the song he was playing, you vaguely recognise it being a Pearl Jam song. His hair’s getting longer, you can see the curls at the base of his neck, greying slightly.

You step up the little steps up to the porch, the floorboards under your feet creak, Joel flinches slightly, looking over at you. “Sorry,” You smile, brushing out the fabric of the dress you’d thrown on, “Keep playing.” 

He shakes his head slowly, gently lifting the guitar off his lap and placing it by his side, “No free shows here.” He smiles at you, leaning back in his chair. “So… Cooling ain’t on.” He’s trying to rile you up.

You roll your eyes, moving closer to him. “Don’t remind me.” A gust of warm wind blows past, a shiver of annoyance rushes through your veins. You move to the railing, the wood burns your hands for a second, having been exposed to the naked sun for so long. 

The chair creaks behind you, heavy boots thumped closer until he was standing beside you. You watched as he moved to grab onto the wood, he too flinched back slightly at the contact, you smile. “Ellie…” Joel starts, “Think she’s warming back up to me.”

“That’s good, Joel.” You can hear him breathing, deep and calm. He looks down at you and you look back, “I’m glad.” You add, stepping sideways slightly to bump into his side. You stayed at his house until the sun had set well past the horizon, different constellations appeared back into the clear, dark sky. Only then did you decide to go home, praying to yourself as you walked back that someone had fingers lucky enough to get some cold air working.

You’d always heard about ‘the third time, the lucky charm’, and you’d never given it much thought. But today, you decided you didn’t believe in it, because it was the third day of this mini heat wave, and it was even hotter. 

The sheets were damp beneath you when you woke up. Thin sheets, minimal clothing and the open window had done nothing to help aid the temperature; you were at your breaking point, further being pushed when you discovered the air conditioning had still not been fixed. 

You tried to remain grateful, understood that the people working on it had limited supplies, that they too had to endure the heat, and the pressure to get it done. Feeling bad for your frustration over something they could not control, you made some lemonade for them all, bringing over a jug and some empty cups to where they were stationed. A small good deed to redeem your attitude. 

“Fucking heat.” You mumbled to yourself, wiping your hands on your dress, stepping up to your front porch, reaching for your door. Before you could open it, someone cleared their throat behind you, making you jump. 

Joel laughed, moving up the stairs to meet you, “I scare you?” He looks down at you innocently, waiting for you to answer him, a little curl falls in front of his face. 

“Yes, Joel.” You huff, opening your door aggressively, “You scared me.” You step inside, waiting for him to walk in before closing the door. 

He shrugs off his shoes, leaving them by the entrance, “It’s actually cooler outside.” He points out, moving into your living room. 

“I don’t even want to think about that.” You shake your head, brushing past him to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of water. “Reckon we could sit out the back?”

Joel nods, gratefully taking his glass from your hand, “Lead the way.”

Your porch was small, a perfect size, filled with plants, two chairs and a little rug underneath. Joel went straight for his usual chair, sitting down with a grunt. You vacated the chair next to him, leaning back with your glass nestled in your hands. 

Joel was silent beside you, eyebrows furrowed and eyes zoning out into your small backyard. You followed his gaze, admiring the wooden fence surrounding your home. He and Tommy had built it for you after you’d complained for a week straight about the old rotted wood that once stood there, now you were blessed with privacy you’d once had years ago. You’d never kept your promise to pay them back with some of your cooking, you suddenly remembered.

A flicker of movement catches your eye, a small, grey bunny slips through a crack in the fence. You tut under your breath, shaking your head. Joel’s body moves; he’s laughing. “Don’t even start. It’s barely a crack, I’m not bloody fixin’ it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” You laugh back, but your eyebrows furrow slightly as you take in Joel’s posture. His smiles faded again and he’s back to zoning out. You nudge him gently, “What’s up?”

He suddenly stands up, placing the glass by your feet, it’s only then you noticed he hadn’t had any of it. He goes to your railing, leaning over it. “It’s gettin’ harder. Every day, I’m fightin’ it, and I don’t think I can anymore.” He starts, leaning his head to the right slightly, making sure you could hear every word. He sighs, “Don’t think I want to anymore.” 

You place your own glass down, standing up to join him. “I don’t understand.” You see him hesitate, his body tenses slightly, you can hear his jagged breathing. A warm wind blows past you both, you watch as the trees sway gently in it. 

Joel looks at you then, turning his whole body towards you. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me this isn’t mutual.”

You watch him quietly, almost taken back at his forwardness. “Joel…” 

“No.” He interrupts, taking a step closer, “Tell me this isn’t in my head. I mean, fuck, baby. I love how we are now, but god do I ever wish it was something more.” 

A conversation you’d fought so hard to push to the back of your mind, words you’d dreamt about saying, planning out the best sentences to say that would articulate your feelings best, yet you stand in silence. Something inside you tingles, something deep in your stomach that travels up your body to your head, something goes fuzzy. Then you’re moving to him and closing the space between you, your hands moving to hold the back of his neck as your lips connect to his. It’s sort of an awkward angle, your head tilted back to be able to reach his face, you’re almost on the tips of your toes.

He takes a second to react, his hands awkwardly hovering by your sides as you first press your lips against his. As you moved to pull back having sensed his hesitance, Joel reached out. His hands move to your back, pulling you back to his chest tightly, firmly pressing his lips against yours. You feel him harden against your abdomen and he moans into your mouth with exhilaration, teasing his tongue against yours.

You worry for a second, worry that things were moving too fast. You’d spent years pent up, hiding your deepest feelings and forcing yourself to keep your hands away from him, but with every little movement, every spark sent through your body, your worries slowly started to vanish. As his hands move down your back to fondle your ass, you finally decide you don’t care. 

He squeezes the flesh between his hands, slapping it gently before he pulls away from you, looking pained as he does so. You watch him carefully, waiting for his next move. “Can I taste you?” He asks gently, his hands moving to ball the fabric of your dress. He spoke the words with such softness, such innocence, you faltered, almost uncertain if he meant what you were thinking. His fists tighten further, pleading with you with his eyes.

You take a gamble and nod, you think you’d like whatever he meant anyways; he doesn’t wait another second. He gently moved you backwards, your back pushed up against the railing of your porch, using it as a stabiliser as he moved down to his knees. “Careful.” You mutter, acknowledging the tenderness and soreness he often experienced with his aging body.

He doesn’t respond, instead, he bunches your dress in his hands and shoves it up, exposing your cunt hidden by a slightly damp pair of underwear. You reach down and hold your dress up, clutching it tightly as he brings two fingers up to your clothed clit, rubbing it gently. The sensation tears a moan from your throat, your fingers tightened around the fabric of the dress. As Joel slowly circled your clit, you doubled back and remembered that you were outside, you’d have to try and be quiet. Joel, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care, he probably found it to be a competition. ‘How far can I go without informing the entire neighbourhood I’m fucking my best friend on her porch.’

He finally tugs down your underwear, leaving it hanging by your ankles as he gently spreads your knees further apart. He was taking his time, you noted, savouring every second. You didn’t have any patience for savouring. “Please.” You moan, one of your hands let go of your dress to move to the back of Joel’s neck, pulling him closer in between your legs. “Just do it.” 

You could see him debate with himself for a second, tease her more or give in. He decided to do the latter. He looked as desperate as you felt as he gripped the sides of your thighs, looking up at you once more before he connected his mouth with your clit. He used his tongue in replacement of his fingers, circling your clit as he used the rest of his mouth as a suction. You jolted in place, mouth strung open and eyebrows furrowed together as he worked his way through your body. You could feel every movement his tongue made, the slow pressure of release in your abdomen quickly built its way up, finally forcing another moan from your throat. You tightened your hand around Joel’s hair, tugging the curls at the base of his neck, eliciting a deep groan from him. 

You knew you weren’t gonna last long, not as he moved one of his hands to play with your clit as his mouth moved further down, his tongue pushed into you slightly as he fully engrossed himself in you. His other hand rotated between holding your hip and moving back down to your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath his palm, the sensation somehow pushing you further into euphoria. You take your hand away from his neck, moving back up to your dress, you let go with your other hand, moving it down the base of your body to where his hand was resting on your hip. 

When he felt you hold onto him, he adjusted your hands so that he was holding yours, fingers gripping you tightly as his mouth moved back up to your clit, his other arm moved around to the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer to his mouth. He was moaning gently into your clit, you could feel the vibrations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your orgasm took you by surprise, arriving so suddenly you could hardly think as your legs began to shake and your fingers gripped so tightly around Joel’s hands, he winced. You don’t know how loud you were being, your senses were all out of whack. The high seemed to last forever, your clit throbbed gently. Your heart was beating out of your chest, the slight tremors in your legs not ceasing even after he’d slowly moved backwards, away from your cunt. 

“Fuck.” He whispered quietly, admiring you once more before he hauled himself up, giving you no time to react as he crashed his lips against yours, pulling you so tightly against his chest you struggled to breathe. “Fuck that was sexy.” He muttered against your lips. Resting his forehead on yours for a moment. Behind you, you could hear a back door open. The sounds of a quiet hum dragged you back to your senses, you’d forgotten to stay quiet. 

“Inside.” You mumble, dropping your dress back down and pulling up your underwear. He closed the door behind you when you walked in, you were still trying to catch your breath. It was hot inside, hotter than it was outside; your hair stuck to the back of your neck. Joel approached you quietly, brushing your hair away from your neck with the back of his hand. He laid a gentle kiss there, when he pulled away you could still feel his lips on your skin. 

You pulled your dress up over your head, leaving it to drop down next to your feet. You stood before him in nothing but your damp underwear. Joel inhaled deeply behind you, his hands hesitantly reaching out to turn you around. His eyes immediately dropped down, taking in every feature, every curve. You could feel every callous on his fingers as he moved his hands down your shoulders and over your breasts, teasing your nipples gently for a moment before moving back up your body, where his hand ghosted the front of your neck.

He tugged at his shirt then, pulling it off his body before moving to his jeans, his fingers fumbling with his belt. You smiled at him softly, brushing his hands aside and helping him out of the material. It was your turn to stare now. You traced your finger along every scar splattered across the length of his body. He watched carefully as you did so, bringing his hand up to your cheek. After what seemed like forever, you retracted your hand back to yourself and started moving backwards towards the couch. Joel followed you wordlessly, not taking his eyes off you. 

When you reached the couch, you gestured for him to sit down. He complied easily, leaning back into the couch, just watching you. You moved to stand between his legs, your nipples hardened further in anticipation. Slowly, you moved down and took your underwear completely off, throwing them somewhere behind you. As you did so, Joel moved to take his off, leaving you both bare and vulnerable. It seemed as if your body was moving on autopilot, everything started to seem so unreal. As you stood before him, his eyes wild and desperate, you found you couldn’t really remember how this had happened so fast. 

Was it just a buildup of hidden emotions? Or had something happened that made him snap? You breathed in deeply, debating with yourself. Telling yourself that you could still back out. Label what happened outside as two lonely people who got desperate. You caught yourself, pushing those thoughts to the back of your head. That’s not what you wanted to do, you couldn’t understand why you were fighting against it so hard. You recognised a glimmer of fear within the thoughts. Fear of opening up to someone, maybe. 

Joel called your name softly. You blinked, focusing back onto him. “Stop thinkin’ so much.” He said, sitting up a little straighter. “If you don’t want this, that’s fine. Don’t freak yourself out ‘bout it.” You furrowed your eyebrows, you did want it. You blinked again, internally scolding your brain for a second before you moved forwards. You straddled his lap, knees resting on either side of his thighs, your hands rested on his chest. He looked at you silently, searching for any sign of discomfort. 

“I do want this.” You whisper, “It’s just new.” Joel nodded slowly, leaning back into the couch. You smile softly, your fingers subconsciously trace patterns on his skin. It was getting harder to ignore the warmth in your lower abdomen, you could feel yourself getting wetter for him, more desperate for him. He was in the same boat, his cock lay firmly against his stomach, the tip of him a deep pink. You reached between your legs, grasping him firmly in your hand. He was big, for a second you hesitated, it had been a while. 

“We’ll take it slow.” Joel grunted, leaning his head back for a moment. You gripped him tighter, slowly moving your hand up and down, causing a deep moan to slip out his mouth. You teased him like that for a little while, watching his reactions curiously. After a few minutes, he leant his head back up to look at you, “Enough.” He practically growled. You smile at him in response, finally lifting your hips up slightly. You both watched as his cock slowly slipped inside you, small moans of pleasure and release sounded out into the room. The initial stretch hurt, you had expected it but it still caused you to completely stop. Joel stayed still until you were ready to keep going. 

After that you didn’t need to stop. Even if you did have to, you weren't sure if you could. You were fully sat on Joel’s lap, his cock nestled deep up inside you, his pubic hair brushed against your clit as you slowly circled your hips. Joel was gripping your hips so tightly, you could already feel them bruising, with every move, a small moan or grunt huffed from his lips. A couple minutes had passed of the slow circling, you had passed the point of desperation. With a slight sigh, you adjusted yourself so you were leaning more of your body weight on your feet before you slowly lifted yourself up the length of his dick, then abruptly sat back down, the sudden movement had Joel moaning loudly, his hands moved to the bottom of your ass to help you bounce up and down continuously. 

You fucked yourself on him hard, your ass connected with his thighs with a satisfying noise, your moans increasingly getting louder. At one point, you leant back slightly, resting your arms on his thighs as you continued to move on top of him. Joel took this opportunity to play with your clit again, his movements precise. You could feel sweat accumulating on your back, the hot environment mixed with this, you didn’t care. Not when Joel moved forwards in what looked like an uncomfortable manner, desperately connecting his lips with your breasts. “Fuck, Joel.” You gasp, feeling his teeth graze against your nipples. 

So caught up in the feeling of Joel inside you, you almost missed the sound coming from behind you. You faltered in your movements to try and listen out for what you’d barely heard over the sound of your own cries, Joel immediately sat up, his hands moved to your waist. “What is it? Are you okay?” You quickly shush him, furrowing your eyebrows. 

Then, a wooshing sound was heard and a cool breeze suddenly followed, flowing over your skin and cooling you instantly. You look at the air conditioner, a new little green light you’d never seen before was on. “Oh.” You say, now completely still in Joel’s lap. You were about to say something, but before you could, you were being manoeuvred around, taking the breath away from you. Joel lay you on your back, still sheathed fully inside you. It seemed that any sense of patience and tenderness had disappeared, instead, a more unforgiving and relentless version of him came out, he fucked into you hard, harder than you could ever expect from such a careful man. 

You threw your head back, wrapping your legs around his hips as he thrust into you, grunting in your ear. One of his hands moved up to palm your breast again, squeezing it roughly before he let go and moved further up your body, resting on your throat. His movements faltered for a moment, his eyes shut close before he resumed the pace. Grunts were replaced with soft moans, almost whimpers as his hips collided with the backs of your thighs. You barely had time to warn him, you managed to let out a strangled moan as you came, your body tightening around him. He came quickly after you did, his body practically collapsing against you as he shot his cum deep inside you, his heavy breath heating your skin. 

After a little while of him on top of you, whispering sweet things into your ear and kissing you gently on your neck, he sat up. You followed, glancing behind you at the air conditioning unit. “Thank fucking god.” You mutter, shaking your head. 

[joelmillergirl]

Can always count on you🥲🫶🏻

Hot n' Cold

Word count: 4,898

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving), piv, unprotected sex, creampie, hard/passionate sex, cowboy🤠

Authors Note: It was hot, I wrote smut, what do you want from me.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You had your curtains drawn, shielding your house from the violent light outside. It was officially Summer, and you were already hating it. 

Summer had always been your least favourite season, even before the outbreak when you had better access to fans and coolers. Now, finding a fan that wasn’t rusted and broken was rare, a reality you tried hardest not to think about.

You had resorted to laying down on your kitchen tiles, limbs spread out lazily in almost a desperate attempt to cool off. You prayed that someone here in Jackson would be able to get the old air conditioning units working, but given it had been a year of trial and error, you weren’t feeling too hopeful. 

With a huff, you sluggishly lift up your arm, checking the time on your old watch. It was just getting into the evening, and with no sign of the heat dimming down just yet, you accepted defeat. 

With no energy to do anything, you decided then and there that the rest of your day would look the same, you laying on your floor until it cooled down enough so you’d be able to have a decent amount of sleep. Your plans, however, were rudely interrupted by knocking at your front door. 

You lift your head up slightly, eyes training past your living room to the front entrance, “Are you fucking kidding me?” You groan, seeing a blurry figure waiting through the stained glass next to your door. 

Only when three more knocks echoed through the house did you grudgingly pull yourself up, almost limping to the front door due to your lack of energy. You were frowning when you opened the door, face to face with your closest friend. 

“I know.” Joel nodded, looking almost smug at your unamused expression. “How you handlin’ it?” 

If even possible, your face contorted further into a frown, shaking your head slightly at him. “I’m sweating from places I don’t even feel comfortable naming.” You deadpanned, biting your lip to smother a smile. 

Joel hummed, his eyes quickly raking over your figure before coming back to rest on your face, “Tommy’s got people working on getting the units workin’” 

You interrupt him, “Okay… Joel? Inside, please. The heat is literally hitting me on the face and I’m about to just lose my cool.” 

With a nod, he stepped inside the border of your house, gently closing the door behind him. “Do you even have any cool to lose?” He joked.

You glare at him for a moment before going back to your kitchen, slumping down on the floor. “They’ve been trying to get them to work for ages, I will go out there myself and get them to work if I do not hear that thing running anytime soon.” You point to the air conditioning unit in the living room. 

“They’ll get it sorted. Don’t think they particularly appreciate workin’ in this weather fixing somethin’.” He said, groaning as he sat down adjacent to you, head leaning back against your fridge. 

He suddenly frowned, looking over his shoulder slightly at the fridge behind him, then he was up, knees cracking beneath him as he moved to where you were, nudging you out the way. You looked at him confused. He nudged his head towards the fridge, “Go sit there.” 

You complied, moving to sit where Joel had been, an instant flush of cool hit the back of your neck. “Dammit, why didn’t I think of this.” You mutter, pressing your back against the cold steel.

“Heat‘s messin’ with ya, huh?” Joel chuckled, tilting his head slightly. You shake your head in response, gently closing your eyes and untensing your limbs. 

You met Joel four years ago when Tommy had introduced you to him. He’d just arrived at Jackson, and you’d been assigned to be his patrol partner which was only supposed to last a couple months, but you’d been such a good duo, Maria had decided to make it permanent. 

Over the past couple months though, your relationship with him had seemingly changed. With recent struggles brewing between him and Ellie, you seemed to always be by his side, for his comfort but also your own. You didn’t always have to talk with him, a lot of the time you’d sit comfortably next to each other, doing your own thing whilst he strummed on his guitar.

The boundary line was ever so slowly becoming blurred, feelings becoming confusing. But like a lot of topics that required confrontation, you push it to the back of your mind, adopting the quote; out of sight out of mind. 

“What’s got that head worked up?” Joel mumbled in front of you, dragging your mind back to reality. 

You looked at him for a moment, blinking slowly. “Nothing.” You plainly say, smiling at him gently before closing your eyes again. 

The next day wasn’t any better. 

The air conditioning still wasn’t working and your tactic of closing the curtains to deflect the heat, was now failing. Rather than lying on your tiles, moping all day, you had resorted to hanging out in The Tipsy Bison, a cozy makeshift bar in the middle of Jackson. 

The only reason you’d packed up the courage to be in such a social setting was due to the cold drinks offered there and most importantly, it had a big fan mounted to the wall that actually worked. It was a step up from how hot you were yesterday, and the drink in your hand was helping to cool your skin. 

The leather next to you sunk as someone sat down in the empty booth you were sitting at. You turn your head to your left, coming face to face with Tommy; Joel’s younger brother. “Hi,” He smiled, “Fuckin’ steamin’ out there.” 

You raise your eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “Steaming?” 

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded, leaning over to peer into your glass, “Some people are out there, sweatin’ their gooch off, trynna get air working for lazy folks like you.” 

A pair of women next to your booth look over at his words, eyeing you and Tommy down. You quickly look away. “Can you not speak like that in public?” You huff, close to speechless. 

Tommy laughs loudly, finding himself hilarious, but suddenly his demeanour changes and he turns to you with a serious look. “So… How’s Joel?” 

You look at him for a moment before answering, “He’s your brother, ask him yourself.” You’re silent for a second before you smile, “Why’re you here bothering me? Go get the air working.” 

He shakes his head, a smile spread wide across his face, "Just have to get out the heat for a fuckin, minute. Saw you here... Haven't talked for a while."

"And the first thing you wanna do is ask how your brother is?" You ask, tilting your head slightly at him.

He looks away from you, sucking in a breath, "Feisty."

“Tommy, if it’s not cold in my house tomorrow I’m gonna kill you.” You warn, a warm breeze filing through the cracks of the windows.

"Jesus, woman." Tommy says, shaking his head slightly, “Venom.” He stands up and adjusts his jeans, “Every word you spit at me is laced with venom.” 

You laugh gently, gesturing your head towards the front door, "Go work some more." You watch as he walks away, an unexplainable pit in the bottom of your stomach. You avoid the stares coming from the booth again.

People talked a lot in Jackson. Usually it was all rumours, secret words whispered behind a hand as you walked by, it brought a sense of familiarity back, considering they were acting like they were in high school again. 

They noticed things, could see the little things, like how you and Joel were always together, seemingly always just alone. You supposed it gave them a sense of familiarity too, finally being able to talk about something other than the end of the world. 

Sometimes it made you feel good, knowing other people could see Joel was focused on you, watching as he turned down other women just to talk to you. Aside from the odd insult you’d hear every now and then, you weren’t bothered by the rumours. 

On your way home, you decided to stop by Joel’s. The side gate was unlocked, the hinges creaking quietly as it gently banged open and closed. Hot wind. Adding onto the heat. You could hear him before you saw him, the gentle strum of his guitar, a low hum. You round the corner, stopping by the edge of the house to watch him, a smile tugging at your lips. 

He sat in a chair he made himself on his back porch, he’d made you a set also, specialised carving in the wood. He had a leg crossed over the other, his foot jerking to the beat of the song he was playing, you vaguely recognise it being a Pearl Jam song. His hair’s getting longer, you can see the curls at the base of his neck, greying slightly.

You step up the little steps up to the porch, the floorboards under your feet creak, Joel flinches slightly, looking over at you. “Sorry,” You smile, brushing out the fabric of the dress you’d thrown on, “Keep playing.” 

He shakes his head slowly, gently lifting the guitar off his lap and placing it by his side, “No free shows here.” He smiles at you, leaning back in his chair. “So… Cooling ain’t on.” He’s trying to rile you up.

You roll your eyes, moving closer to him. “Don’t remind me.” A gust of warm wind blows past, a shiver of annoyance rushes through your veins. You move to the railing, the wood burns your hands for a second, having been exposed to the naked sun for so long. 

The chair creaks behind you, heavy boots thumped closer until he was standing beside you. You watched as he moved to grab onto the wood, he too flinched back slightly at the contact, you smile. “Ellie…” Joel starts, “Think she’s warming back up to me.”

“That’s good, Joel.” You can hear him breathing, deep and calm. He looks down at you and you look back, “I’m glad.” You add, stepping sideways slightly to bump into his side. You stayed at his house until the sun had set well past the horizon, different constellations appeared back into the clear, dark sky. Only then did you decide to go home, praying to yourself as you walked back that someone had fingers lucky enough to get some cold air working.

You’d always heard about ‘the third time, the lucky charm’, and you’d never given it much thought. But today, you decided you didn’t believe in it, because it was the third day of this mini heat wave, and it was even hotter. 

The sheets were damp beneath you when you woke up. Thin sheets, minimal clothing and the open window had done nothing to help aid the temperature; you were at your breaking point, further being pushed when you discovered the air conditioning had still not been fixed. 

You tried to remain grateful, understood that the people working on it had limited supplies, that they too had to endure the heat, and the pressure to get it done. Feeling bad for your frustration over something they could not control, you made some lemonade for them all, bringing over a jug and some empty cups to where they were stationed. A small good deed to redeem your attitude. 

“Fucking heat.” You mumbled to yourself, wiping your hands on your dress, stepping up to your front porch, reaching for your door. Before you could open it, someone cleared their throat behind you, making you jump. 

Joel laughed, moving up the stairs to meet you, “I scare you?” He looks down at you innocently, waiting for you to answer him, a little curl falls in front of his face. 

“Yes, Joel.” You huff, opening your door aggressively, “You scared me.” You step inside, waiting for him to walk in before closing the door. 

He shrugs off his shoes, leaving them by the entrance, “It’s actually cooler outside.” He points out, moving into your living room. 

“I don’t even want to think about that.” You shake your head, brushing past him to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of water. “Reckon we could sit out the back?”

Joel nods, gratefully taking his glass from your hand, “Lead the way.”

Your porch was small, a perfect size, filled with plants, two chairs and a little rug underneath. Joel went straight for his usual chair, sitting down with a grunt. You vacated the chair next to him, leaning back with your glass nestled in your hands. 

Joel was silent beside you, eyebrows furrowed and eyes zoning out into your small backyard. You followed his gaze, admiring the wooden fence surrounding your home. He and Tommy had built it for you after you’d complained for a week straight about the old rotted wood that once stood there, now you were blessed with privacy you’d once had years ago. You’d never kept your promise to pay them back with some of your cooking, you suddenly remembered.

A flicker of movement catches your eye, a small, grey bunny slips through a crack in the fence. You tut under your breath, shaking your head. Joel’s body moves; he’s laughing. “Don’t even start. It’s barely a crack, I’m not bloody fixin’ it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” You laugh back, but your eyebrows furrow slightly as you take in Joel’s posture. His smiles faded again and he’s back to zoning out. You nudge him gently, “What’s up?”

He suddenly stands up, placing the glass by your feet, it’s only then you noticed he hadn’t had any of it. He goes to your railing, leaning over it. “It’s gettin’ harder. Every day, I’m fightin’ it, and I don’t think I can anymore.” He starts, leaning his head to the right slightly, making sure you could hear every word. He sighs, “Don’t think I want to anymore.” 

You place your own glass down, standing up to join him. “I don’t understand.” You see him hesitate, his body tenses slightly, you can hear his jagged breathing. A warm wind blows past you both, you watch as the trees sway gently in it. 

Joel looks at you then, turning his whole body towards you. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me this isn’t mutual.”

You watch him quietly, almost taken back at his forwardness. “Joel…” 

“No.” He interrupts, taking a step closer, “Tell me this isn’t in my head. I mean, fuck, baby. I love how we are now, but god do I ever wish it was something more.” 

A conversation you’d fought so hard to push to the back of your mind, words you’d dreamt about saying, planning out the best sentences to say that would articulate your feelings best, yet you stand in silence. Something inside you tingles, something deep in your stomach that travels up your body to your head, something goes fuzzy. Then you’re moving to him and closing the space between you, your hands moving to hold the back of his neck as your lips connect to his. It’s sort of an awkward angle, your head tilted back to be able to reach his face, you’re almost on the tips of your toes.

He takes a second to react, his hands awkwardly hovering by your sides as you first press your lips against his. As you moved to pull back having sensed his hesitance, Joel reached out. His hands move to your back, pulling you back to his chest tightly, firmly pressing his lips against yours. You feel him harden against your abdomen and he moans into your mouth with exhilaration, teasing his tongue against yours.

You worry for a second, worry that things were moving too fast. You’d spent years pent up, hiding your deepest feelings and forcing yourself to keep your hands away from him, but with every little movement, every spark sent through your body, your worries slowly started to vanish. As his hands move down your back to fondle your ass, you finally decide you don’t care. 

He squeezes the flesh between his hands, slapping it gently before he pulls away from you, looking pained as he does so. You watch him carefully, waiting for his next move. “Can I taste you?” He asks gently, his hands moving to ball the fabric of your dress. He spoke the words with such softness, such innocence, you faltered, almost uncertain if he meant what you were thinking. His fists tighten further, pleading with you with his eyes.

You take a gamble and nod, you think you’d like whatever he meant anyways; he doesn’t wait another second. He gently moved you backwards, your back pushed up against the railing of your porch, using it as a stabiliser as he moved down to his knees. “Careful.” You mutter, acknowledging the tenderness and soreness he often experienced with his aging body.

He doesn’t respond, instead, he bunches your dress in his hands and shoves it up, exposing your cunt hidden by a slightly damp pair of underwear. You reach down and hold your dress up, clutching it tightly as he brings two fingers up to your clothed clit, rubbing it gently. The sensation tears a moan from your throat, your fingers tightened around the fabric of the dress. As Joel slowly circled your clit, you doubled back and remembered that you were outside, you’d have to try and be quiet. Joel, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care, he probably found it to be a competition. ‘How far can I go without informing the entire neighbourhood I’m fucking my best friend on her porch.’

He finally tugs down your underwear, leaving it hanging by your ankles as he gently spreads your knees further apart. He was taking his time, you noted, savouring every second. You didn’t have any patience for savouring. “Please.” You moan, one of your hands let go of your dress to move to the back of Joel’s neck, pulling him closer in between your legs. “Just do it.” 

You could see him debate with himself for a second, tease her more or give in. He decided to do the latter. He looked as desperate as you felt as he gripped the sides of your thighs, looking up at you once more before he connected his mouth with your clit. He used his tongue in replacement of his fingers, circling your clit as he used the rest of his mouth as a suction. You jolted in place, mouth strung open and eyebrows furrowed together as he worked his way through your body. You could feel every movement his tongue made, the slow pressure of release in your abdomen quickly built its way up, finally forcing another moan from your throat. You tightened your hand around Joel’s hair, tugging the curls at the base of his neck, eliciting a deep groan from him. 

You knew you weren’t gonna last long, not as he moved one of his hands to play with your clit as his mouth moved further down, his tongue pushed into you slightly as he fully engrossed himself in you. His other hand rotated between holding your hip and moving back down to your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath his palm, the sensation somehow pushing you further into euphoria. You take your hand away from his neck, moving back up to your dress, you let go with your other hand, moving it down the base of your body to where his hand was resting on your hip. 

When he felt you hold onto him, he adjusted your hands so that he was holding yours, fingers gripping you tightly as his mouth moved back up to your clit, his other arm moved around to the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer to his mouth. He was moaning gently into your clit, you could feel the vibrations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your orgasm took you by surprise, arriving so suddenly you could hardly think as your legs began to shake and your fingers gripped so tightly around Joel’s hands, he winced. You don’t know how loud you were being, your senses were all out of whack. The high seemed to last forever, your clit throbbed gently. Your heart was beating out of your chest, the slight tremors in your legs not ceasing even after he’d slowly moved backwards, away from your cunt. 

“Fuck.” He whispered quietly, admiring you once more before he hauled himself up, giving you no time to react as he crashed his lips against yours, pulling you so tightly against his chest you struggled to breathe. “Fuck that was sexy.” He muttered against your lips. Resting his forehead on yours for a moment. Behind you, you could hear a back door open. The sounds of a quiet hum dragged you back to your senses, you’d forgotten to stay quiet. 

“Inside.” You mumble, dropping your dress back down and pulling up your underwear. He closed the door behind you when you walked in, you were still trying to catch your breath. It was hot inside, hotter than it was outside; your hair stuck to the back of your neck. Joel approached you quietly, brushing your hair away from your neck with the back of his hand. He laid a gentle kiss there, when he pulled away you could still feel his lips on your skin. 

You pulled your dress up over your head, leaving it to drop down next to your feet. You stood before him in nothing but your damp underwear. Joel inhaled deeply behind you, his hands hesitantly reaching out to turn you around. His eyes immediately dropped down, taking in every feature, every curve. You could feel every callous on his fingers as he moved his hands down your shoulders and over your breasts, teasing your nipples gently for a moment before moving back up your body, where his hand ghosted the front of your neck.

He tugged at his shirt then, pulling it off his body before moving to his jeans, his fingers fumbling with his belt. You smiled at him softly, brushing his hands aside and helping him out of the material. It was your turn to stare now. You traced your finger along every scar splattered across the length of his body. He watched carefully as you did so, bringing his hand up to your cheek. After what seemed like forever, you retracted your hand back to yourself and started moving backwards towards the couch. Joel followed you wordlessly, not taking his eyes off you. 

When you reached the couch, you gestured for him to sit down. He complied easily, leaning back into the couch, just watching you. You moved to stand between his legs, your nipples hardened further in anticipation. Slowly, you moved down and took your underwear completely off, throwing them somewhere behind you. As you did so, Joel moved to take his off, leaving you both bare and vulnerable. It seemed as if your body was moving on autopilot, everything started to seem so unreal. As you stood before him, his eyes wild and desperate, you found you couldn’t really remember how this had happened so fast. 

Was it just a buildup of hidden emotions? Or had something happened that made him snap? You breathed in deeply, debating with yourself. Telling yourself that you could still back out. Label what happened outside as two lonely people who got desperate. You caught yourself, pushing those thoughts to the back of your head. That’s not what you wanted to do, you couldn’t understand why you were fighting against it so hard. You recognised a glimmer of fear within the thoughts. Fear of opening up to someone, maybe. 

Joel called your name softly. You blinked, focusing back onto him. “Stop thinkin’ so much.” He said, sitting up a little straighter. “If you don’t want this, that’s fine. Don’t freak yourself out ‘bout it.” You furrowed your eyebrows, you did want it. You blinked again, internally scolding your brain for a second before you moved forwards. You straddled his lap, knees resting on either side of his thighs, your hands rested on his chest. He looked at you silently, searching for any sign of discomfort. 

“I do want this.” You whisper, “It’s just new.” Joel nodded slowly, leaning back into the couch. You smile softly, your fingers subconsciously trace patterns on his skin. It was getting harder to ignore the warmth in your lower abdomen, you could feel yourself getting wetter for him, more desperate for him. He was in the same boat, his cock lay firmly against his stomach, the tip of him a deep pink. You reached between your legs, grasping him firmly in your hand. He was big, for a second you hesitated, it had been a while. 

“We’ll take it slow.” Joel grunted, leaning his head back for a moment. You gripped him tighter, slowly moving your hand up and down, causing a deep moan to slip out his mouth. You teased him like that for a little while, watching his reactions curiously. After a few minutes, he leant his head back up to look at you, “Enough.” He practically growled. You smile at him in response, finally lifting your hips up slightly. You both watched as his cock slowly slipped inside you, small moans of pleasure and release sounded out into the room. The initial stretch hurt, you had expected it but it still caused you to completely stop. Joel stayed still until you were ready to keep going. 

After that you didn’t need to stop. Even if you did have to, you weren't sure if you could. You were fully sat on Joel’s lap, his cock nestled deep up inside you, his pubic hair brushed against your clit as you slowly circled your hips. Joel was gripping your hips so tightly, you could already feel them bruising, with every move, a small moan or grunt huffed from his lips. A couple minutes had passed of the slow circling, you had passed the point of desperation. With a slight sigh, you adjusted yourself so you were leaning more of your body weight on your feet before you slowly lifted yourself up the length of his dick, then abruptly sat back down, the sudden movement had Joel moaning loudly, his hands moved to the bottom of your ass to help you bounce up and down continuously. 

You fucked yourself on him hard, your ass connected with his thighs with a satisfying noise, your moans increasingly getting louder. At one point, you leant back slightly, resting your arms on his thighs as you continued to move on top of him. Joel took this opportunity to play with your clit again, his movements precise. You could feel sweat accumulating on your back, the hot environment mixed with this, you didn’t care. Not when Joel moved forwards in what looked like an uncomfortable manner, desperately connecting his lips with your breasts. “Fuck, Joel.” You gasp, feeling his teeth graze against your nipples. 

So caught up in the feeling of Joel inside you, you almost missed the sound coming from behind you. You faltered in your movements to try and listen out for what you’d barely heard over the sound of your own cries, Joel immediately sat up, his hands moved to your waist. “What is it? Are you okay?” You quickly shush him, furrowing your eyebrows. 

Then, a wooshing sound was heard and a cool breeze suddenly followed, flowing over your skin and cooling you instantly. You look at the air conditioner, a new little green light you’d never seen before was on. “Oh.” You say, now completely still in Joel’s lap. You were about to say something, but before you could, you were being manoeuvred around, taking the breath away from you. Joel lay you on your back, still sheathed fully inside you. It seemed that any sense of patience and tenderness had disappeared, instead, a more unforgiving and relentless version of him came out, he fucked into you hard, harder than you could ever expect from such a careful man. 

You threw your head back, wrapping your legs around his hips as he thrust into you, grunting in your ear. One of his hands moved up to palm your breast again, squeezing it roughly before he let go and moved further up your body, resting on your throat. His movements faltered for a moment, his eyes shut close before he resumed the pace. Grunts were replaced with soft moans, almost whimpers as his hips collided with the backs of your thighs. You barely had time to warn him, you managed to let out a strangled moan as you came, your body tightening around him. He came quickly after you did, his body practically collapsing against you as he shot his cum deep inside you, his heavy breath heating your skin. 

After a little while of him on top of you, whispering sweet things into your ear and kissing you gently on your neck, he sat up. You followed, glancing behind you at the air conditioning unit. “Thank fucking god.” You mutter, shaking your head. 

[joelmillergirl]

Hot n' Cold

Word count: 4,898

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving), piv, unprotected sex, creampie, hard/passionate sex, cowboy🤠

Authors Note: It was hot, I wrote smut, what do you want from me.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You had your curtains drawn, shielding your house from the violent light outside. It was officially Summer, and you were already hating it. 

Summer had always been your least favourite season, even before the outbreak when you had better access to fans and coolers. Now, finding a fan that wasn’t rusted and broken was rare, a reality you tried hardest not to think about.

You had resorted to laying down on your kitchen tiles, limbs spread out lazily in almost a desperate attempt to cool off. You prayed that someone here in Jackson would be able to get the old air conditioning units working, but given it had been a year of trial and error, you weren’t feeling too hopeful. 

With a huff, you sluggishly lift up your arm, checking the time on your old watch. It was just getting into the evening, and with no sign of the heat dimming down just yet, you accepted defeat. 

With no energy to do anything, you decided then and there that the rest of your day would look the same, you laying on your floor until it cooled down enough so you’d be able to have a decent amount of sleep. Your plans, however, were rudely interrupted by knocking at your front door. 

You lift your head up slightly, eyes training past your living room to the front entrance, “Are you fucking kidding me?” You groan, seeing a blurry figure waiting through the stained glass next to your door. 

Only when three more knocks echoed through the house did you grudgingly pull yourself up, almost limping to the front door due to your lack of energy. You were frowning when you opened the door, face to face with your closest friend. 

“I know.” Joel nodded, looking almost smug at your unamused expression. “How you handlin’ it?” 

If even possible, your face contorted further into a frown, shaking your head slightly at him. “I’m sweating from places I don’t even feel comfortable naming.” You deadpanned, biting your lip to smother a smile. 

Joel hummed, his eyes quickly raking over your figure before coming back to rest on your face, “Tommy’s got people working on getting the units workin’” 

You interrupt him, “Okay… Joel? Inside, please. The heat is literally hitting me on the face and I’m about to just lose my cool.” 

With a nod, he stepped inside the border of your house, gently closing the door behind him. “Do you even have any cool to lose?” He joked.

You glare at him for a moment before going back to your kitchen, slumping down on the floor. “They’ve been trying to get them to work for ages, I will go out there myself and get them to work if I do not hear that thing running anytime soon.” You point to the air conditioning unit in the living room. 

“They’ll get it sorted. Don’t think they particularly appreciate workin’ in this weather fixing somethin’.” He said, groaning as he sat down adjacent to you, head leaning back against your fridge. 

He suddenly frowned, looking over his shoulder slightly at the fridge behind him, then he was up, knees cracking beneath him as he moved to where you were, nudging you out the way. You looked at him confused. He nudged his head towards the fridge, “Go sit there.” 

You complied, moving to sit where Joel had been, an instant flush of cool hit the back of your neck. “Dammit, why didn’t I think of this.” You mutter, pressing your back against the cold steel.

“Heat‘s messin’ with ya, huh?” Joel chuckled, tilting his head slightly. You shake your head in response, gently closing your eyes and untensing your limbs. 

You met Joel four years ago when Tommy had introduced you to him. He’d just arrived at Jackson, and you’d been assigned to be his patrol partner which was only supposed to last a couple months, but you’d been such a good duo, Maria had decided to make it permanent. 

Over the past couple months though, your relationship with him had seemingly changed. With recent struggles brewing between him and Ellie, you seemed to always be by his side, for his comfort but also your own. You didn’t always have to talk with him, a lot of the time you’d sit comfortably next to each other, doing your own thing whilst he strummed on his guitar.

The boundary line was ever so slowly becoming blurred, feelings becoming confusing. But like a lot of topics that required confrontation, you push it to the back of your mind, adopting the quote; out of sight out of mind. 

“What’s got that head worked up?” Joel mumbled in front of you, dragging your mind back to reality. 

You looked at him for a moment, blinking slowly. “Nothing.” You plainly say, smiling at him gently before closing your eyes again. 

The next day wasn’t any better. 

The air conditioning still wasn’t working and your tactic of closing the curtains to deflect the heat, was now failing. Rather than lying on your tiles, moping all day, you had resorted to hanging out in The Tipsy Bison, a cozy makeshift bar in the middle of Jackson. 

The only reason you’d packed up the courage to be in such a social setting was due to the cold drinks offered there and most importantly, it had a big fan mounted to the wall that actually worked. It was a step up from how hot you were yesterday, and the drink in your hand was helping to cool your skin. 

The leather next to you sunk as someone sat down in the empty booth you were sitting at. You turn your head to your left, coming face to face with Tommy; Joel’s younger brother. “Hi,” He smiled, “Fuckin’ steamin’ out there.” 

You raise your eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “Steaming?” 

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded, leaning over to peer into your glass, “Some people are out there, sweatin’ their gooch off, trynna get air working for lazy folks like you.” 

A pair of women next to your booth look over at his words, eyeing you and Tommy down. You quickly look away. “Can you not speak like that in public?” You huff, close to speechless. 

Tommy laughs loudly, finding himself hilarious, but suddenly his demeanour changes and he turns to you with a serious look. “So… How’s Joel?” 

You look at him for a moment before answering, “He’s your brother, ask him yourself.” You’re silent for a second before you smile, “Why’re you here bothering me? Go get the air working.” 

He shakes his head, a smile spread wide across his face, "Just have to get out the heat for a fuckin, minute. Saw you here... Haven't talked for a while."

"And the first thing you wanna do is ask how your brother is?" You ask, tilting your head slightly at him.

He looks away from you, sucking in a breath, "Feisty."

“Tommy, if it’s not cold in my house tomorrow I’m gonna kill you.” You warn, a warm breeze filing through the cracks of the windows.

"Jesus, woman." Tommy says, shaking his head slightly, “Venom.” He stands up and adjusts his jeans, “Every word you spit at me is laced with venom.” 

You laugh gently, gesturing your head towards the front door, "Go work some more." You watch as he walks away, an unexplainable pit in the bottom of your stomach. You avoid the stares coming from the booth again.

People talked a lot in Jackson. Usually it was all rumours, secret words whispered behind a hand as you walked by, it brought a sense of familiarity back, considering they were acting like they were in high school again. 

They noticed things, could see the little things, like how you and Joel were always together, seemingly always just alone. You supposed it gave them a sense of familiarity too, finally being able to talk about something other than the end of the world. 

Sometimes it made you feel good, knowing other people could see Joel was focused on you, watching as he turned down other women just to talk to you. Aside from the odd insult you’d hear every now and then, you weren’t bothered by the rumours. 

On your way home, you decided to stop by Joel’s. The side gate was unlocked, the hinges creaking quietly as it gently banged open and closed. Hot wind. Adding onto the heat. You could hear him before you saw him, the gentle strum of his guitar, a low hum. You round the corner, stopping by the edge of the house to watch him, a smile tugging at your lips. 

He sat in a chair he made himself on his back porch, he’d made you a set also, specialised carving in the wood. He had a leg crossed over the other, his foot jerking to the beat of the song he was playing, you vaguely recognise it being a Pearl Jam song. His hair’s getting longer, you can see the curls at the base of his neck, greying slightly.

You step up the little steps up to the porch, the floorboards under your feet creak, Joel flinches slightly, looking over at you. “Sorry,” You smile, brushing out the fabric of the dress you’d thrown on, “Keep playing.” 

He shakes his head slowly, gently lifting the guitar off his lap and placing it by his side, “No free shows here.” He smiles at you, leaning back in his chair. “So… Cooling ain’t on.” He’s trying to rile you up.

You roll your eyes, moving closer to him. “Don’t remind me.” A gust of warm wind blows past, a shiver of annoyance rushes through your veins. You move to the railing, the wood burns your hands for a second, having been exposed to the naked sun for so long. 

The chair creaks behind you, heavy boots thumped closer until he was standing beside you. You watched as he moved to grab onto the wood, he too flinched back slightly at the contact, you smile. “Ellie…” Joel starts, “Think she’s warming back up to me.”

“That’s good, Joel.” You can hear him breathing, deep and calm. He looks down at you and you look back, “I’m glad.” You add, stepping sideways slightly to bump into his side. You stayed at his house until the sun had set well past the horizon, different constellations appeared back into the clear, dark sky. Only then did you decide to go home, praying to yourself as you walked back that someone had fingers lucky enough to get some cold air working.

You’d always heard about ‘the third time, the lucky charm’, and you’d never given it much thought. But today, you decided you didn’t believe in it, because it was the third day of this mini heat wave, and it was even hotter. 

The sheets were damp beneath you when you woke up. Thin sheets, minimal clothing and the open window had done nothing to help aid the temperature; you were at your breaking point, further being pushed when you discovered the air conditioning had still not been fixed. 

You tried to remain grateful, understood that the people working on it had limited supplies, that they too had to endure the heat, and the pressure to get it done. Feeling bad for your frustration over something they could not control, you made some lemonade for them all, bringing over a jug and some empty cups to where they were stationed. A small good deed to redeem your attitude. 

“Fucking heat.” You mumbled to yourself, wiping your hands on your dress, stepping up to your front porch, reaching for your door. Before you could open it, someone cleared their throat behind you, making you jump. 

Joel laughed, moving up the stairs to meet you, “I scare you?” He looks down at you innocently, waiting for you to answer him, a little curl falls in front of his face. 

“Yes, Joel.” You huff, opening your door aggressively, “You scared me.” You step inside, waiting for him to walk in before closing the door. 

He shrugs off his shoes, leaving them by the entrance, “It’s actually cooler outside.” He points out, moving into your living room. 

“I don’t even want to think about that.” You shake your head, brushing past him to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of water. “Reckon we could sit out the back?”

Joel nods, gratefully taking his glass from your hand, “Lead the way.”

Your porch was small, a perfect size, filled with plants, two chairs and a little rug underneath. Joel went straight for his usual chair, sitting down with a grunt. You vacated the chair next to him, leaning back with your glass nestled in your hands. 

Joel was silent beside you, eyebrows furrowed and eyes zoning out into your small backyard. You followed his gaze, admiring the wooden fence surrounding your home. He and Tommy had built it for you after you’d complained for a week straight about the old rotted wood that once stood there, now you were blessed with privacy you’d once had years ago. You’d never kept your promise to pay them back with some of your cooking, you suddenly remembered.

A flicker of movement catches your eye, a small, grey bunny slips through a crack in the fence. You tut under your breath, shaking your head. Joel’s body moves; he’s laughing. “Don’t even start. It’s barely a crack, I’m not bloody fixin’ it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” You laugh back, but your eyebrows furrow slightly as you take in Joel’s posture. His smiles faded again and he’s back to zoning out. You nudge him gently, “What’s up?”

He suddenly stands up, placing the glass by your feet, it’s only then you noticed he hadn’t had any of it. He goes to your railing, leaning over it. “It’s gettin’ harder. Every day, I’m fightin’ it, and I don’t think I can anymore.” He starts, leaning his head to the right slightly, making sure you could hear every word. He sighs, “Don’t think I want to anymore.” 

You place your own glass down, standing up to join him. “I don’t understand.” You see him hesitate, his body tenses slightly, you can hear his jagged breathing. A warm wind blows past you both, you watch as the trees sway gently in it. 

Joel looks at you then, turning his whole body towards you. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me this isn’t mutual.”

You watch him quietly, almost taken back at his forwardness. “Joel…” 

“No.” He interrupts, taking a step closer, “Tell me this isn’t in my head. I mean, fuck, baby. I love how we are now, but god do I ever wish it was something more.” 

A conversation you’d fought so hard to push to the back of your mind, words you’d dreamt about saying, planning out the best sentences to say that would articulate your feelings best, yet you stand in silence. Something inside you tingles, something deep in your stomach that travels up your body to your head, something goes fuzzy. Then you’re moving to him and closing the space between you, your hands moving to hold the back of his neck as your lips connect to his. It’s sort of an awkward angle, your head tilted back to be able to reach his face, you’re almost on the tips of your toes.

He takes a second to react, his hands awkwardly hovering by your sides as you first press your lips against his. As you moved to pull back having sensed his hesitance, Joel reached out. His hands move to your back, pulling you back to his chest tightly, firmly pressing his lips against yours. You feel him harden against your abdomen and he moans into your mouth with exhilaration, teasing his tongue against yours.

You worry for a second, worry that things were moving too fast. You’d spent years pent up, hiding your deepest feelings and forcing yourself to keep your hands away from him, but with every little movement, every spark sent through your body, your worries slowly started to vanish. As his hands move down your back to fondle your ass, you finally decide you don’t care. 

He squeezes the flesh between his hands, slapping it gently before he pulls away from you, looking pained as he does so. You watch him carefully, waiting for his next move. “Can I taste you?” He asks gently, his hands moving to ball the fabric of your dress. He spoke the words with such softness, such innocence, you faltered, almost uncertain if he meant what you were thinking. His fists tighten further, pleading with you with his eyes.

You take a gamble and nod, you think you’d like whatever he meant anyways; he doesn’t wait another second. He gently moved you backwards, your back pushed up against the railing of your porch, using it as a stabiliser as he moved down to his knees. “Careful.” You mutter, acknowledging the tenderness and soreness he often experienced with his aging body.

He doesn’t respond, instead, he bunches your dress in his hands and shoves it up, exposing your cunt hidden by a slightly damp pair of underwear. You reach down and hold your dress up, clutching it tightly as he brings two fingers up to your clothed clit, rubbing it gently. The sensation tears a moan from your throat, your fingers tightened around the fabric of the dress. As Joel slowly circled your clit, you doubled back and remembered that you were outside, you’d have to try and be quiet. Joel, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care, he probably found it to be a competition. ‘How far can I go without informing the entire neighbourhood I’m fucking my best friend on her porch.’

He finally tugs down your underwear, leaving it hanging by your ankles as he gently spreads your knees further apart. He was taking his time, you noted, savouring every second. You didn’t have any patience for savouring. “Please.” You moan, one of your hands let go of your dress to move to the back of Joel’s neck, pulling him closer in between your legs. “Just do it.” 

You could see him debate with himself for a second, tease her more or give in. He decided to do the latter. He looked as desperate as you felt as he gripped the sides of your thighs, looking up at you once more before he connected his mouth with your clit. He used his tongue in replacement of his fingers, circling your clit as he used the rest of his mouth as a suction. You jolted in place, mouth strung open and eyebrows furrowed together as he worked his way through your body. You could feel every movement his tongue made, the slow pressure of release in your abdomen quickly built its way up, finally forcing another moan from your throat. You tightened your hand around Joel’s hair, tugging the curls at the base of his neck, eliciting a deep groan from him. 

You knew you weren’t gonna last long, not as he moved one of his hands to play with your clit as his mouth moved further down, his tongue pushed into you slightly as he fully engrossed himself in you. His other hand rotated between holding your hip and moving back down to your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath his palm, the sensation somehow pushing you further into euphoria. You take your hand away from his neck, moving back up to your dress, you let go with your other hand, moving it down the base of your body to where his hand was resting on your hip. 

When he felt you hold onto him, he adjusted your hands so that he was holding yours, fingers gripping you tightly as his mouth moved back up to your clit, his other arm moved around to the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer to his mouth. He was moaning gently into your clit, you could feel the vibrations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your orgasm took you by surprise, arriving so suddenly you could hardly think as your legs began to shake and your fingers gripped so tightly around Joel’s hands, he winced. You don’t know how loud you were being, your senses were all out of whack. The high seemed to last forever, your clit throbbed gently. Your heart was beating out of your chest, the slight tremors in your legs not ceasing even after he’d slowly moved backwards, away from your cunt. 

“Fuck.” He whispered quietly, admiring you once more before he hauled himself up, giving you no time to react as he crashed his lips against yours, pulling you so tightly against his chest you struggled to breathe. “Fuck that was sexy.” He muttered against your lips. Resting his forehead on yours for a moment. Behind you, you could hear a back door open. The sounds of a quiet hum dragged you back to your senses, you’d forgotten to stay quiet. 

“Inside.” You mumble, dropping your dress back down and pulling up your underwear. He closed the door behind you when you walked in, you were still trying to catch your breath. It was hot inside, hotter than it was outside; your hair stuck to the back of your neck. Joel approached you quietly, brushing your hair away from your neck with the back of his hand. He laid a gentle kiss there, when he pulled away you could still feel his lips on your skin. 

You pulled your dress up over your head, leaving it to drop down next to your feet. You stood before him in nothing but your damp underwear. Joel inhaled deeply behind you, his hands hesitantly reaching out to turn you around. His eyes immediately dropped down, taking in every feature, every curve. You could feel every callous on his fingers as he moved his hands down your shoulders and over your breasts, teasing your nipples gently for a moment before moving back up your body, where his hand ghosted the front of your neck.

He tugged at his shirt then, pulling it off his body before moving to his jeans, his fingers fumbling with his belt. You smiled at him softly, brushing his hands aside and helping him out of the material. It was your turn to stare now. You traced your finger along every scar splattered across the length of his body. He watched carefully as you did so, bringing his hand up to your cheek. After what seemed like forever, you retracted your hand back to yourself and started moving backwards towards the couch. Joel followed you wordlessly, not taking his eyes off you. 

When you reached the couch, you gestured for him to sit down. He complied easily, leaning back into the couch, just watching you. You moved to stand between his legs, your nipples hardened further in anticipation. Slowly, you moved down and took your underwear completely off, throwing them somewhere behind you. As you did so, Joel moved to take his off, leaving you both bare and vulnerable. It seemed as if your body was moving on autopilot, everything started to seem so unreal. As you stood before him, his eyes wild and desperate, you found you couldn’t really remember how this had happened so fast. 

Was it just a buildup of hidden emotions? Or had something happened that made him snap? You breathed in deeply, debating with yourself. Telling yourself that you could still back out. Label what happened outside as two lonely people who got desperate. You caught yourself, pushing those thoughts to the back of your head. That’s not what you wanted to do, you couldn’t understand why you were fighting against it so hard. You recognised a glimmer of fear within the thoughts. Fear of opening up to someone, maybe. 

Joel called your name softly. You blinked, focusing back onto him. “Stop thinkin’ so much.” He said, sitting up a little straighter. “If you don’t want this, that’s fine. Don’t freak yourself out ‘bout it.” You furrowed your eyebrows, you did want it. You blinked again, internally scolding your brain for a second before you moved forwards. You straddled his lap, knees resting on either side of his thighs, your hands rested on his chest. He looked at you silently, searching for any sign of discomfort. 

“I do want this.” You whisper, “It’s just new.” Joel nodded slowly, leaning back into the couch. You smile softly, your fingers subconsciously trace patterns on his skin. It was getting harder to ignore the warmth in your lower abdomen, you could feel yourself getting wetter for him, more desperate for him. He was in the same boat, his cock lay firmly against his stomach, the tip of him a deep pink. You reached between your legs, grasping him firmly in your hand. He was big, for a second you hesitated, it had been a while. 

“We’ll take it slow.” Joel grunted, leaning his head back for a moment. You gripped him tighter, slowly moving your hand up and down, causing a deep moan to slip out his mouth. You teased him like that for a little while, watching his reactions curiously. After a few minutes, he leant his head back up to look at you, “Enough.” He practically growled. You smile at him in response, finally lifting your hips up slightly. You both watched as his cock slowly slipped inside you, small moans of pleasure and release sounded out into the room. The initial stretch hurt, you had expected it but it still caused you to completely stop. Joel stayed still until you were ready to keep going. 

After that you didn’t need to stop. Even if you did have to, you weren't sure if you could. You were fully sat on Joel’s lap, his cock nestled deep up inside you, his pubic hair brushed against your clit as you slowly circled your hips. Joel was gripping your hips so tightly, you could already feel them bruising, with every move, a small moan or grunt huffed from his lips. A couple minutes had passed of the slow circling, you had passed the point of desperation. With a slight sigh, you adjusted yourself so you were leaning more of your body weight on your feet before you slowly lifted yourself up the length of his dick, then abruptly sat back down, the sudden movement had Joel moaning loudly, his hands moved to the bottom of your ass to help you bounce up and down continuously. 

You fucked yourself on him hard, your ass connected with his thighs with a satisfying noise, your moans increasingly getting louder. At one point, you leant back slightly, resting your arms on his thighs as you continued to move on top of him. Joel took this opportunity to play with your clit again, his movements precise. You could feel sweat accumulating on your back, the hot environment mixed with this, you didn’t care. Not when Joel moved forwards in what looked like an uncomfortable manner, desperately connecting his lips with your breasts. “Fuck, Joel.” You gasp, feeling his teeth graze against your nipples. 

So caught up in the feeling of Joel inside you, you almost missed the sound coming from behind you. You faltered in your movements to try and listen out for what you’d barely heard over the sound of your own cries, Joel immediately sat up, his hands moved to your waist. “What is it? Are you okay?” You quickly shush him, furrowing your eyebrows. 

Then, a wooshing sound was heard and a cool breeze suddenly followed, flowing over your skin and cooling you instantly. You look at the air conditioner, a new little green light you’d never seen before was on. “Oh.” You say, now completely still in Joel’s lap. You were about to say something, but before you could, you were being manoeuvred around, taking the breath away from you. Joel lay you on your back, still sheathed fully inside you. It seemed that any sense of patience and tenderness had disappeared, instead, a more unforgiving and relentless version of him came out, he fucked into you hard, harder than you could ever expect from such a careful man. 

You threw your head back, wrapping your legs around his hips as he thrust into you, grunting in your ear. One of his hands moved up to palm your breast again, squeezing it roughly before he let go and moved further up your body, resting on your throat. His movements faltered for a moment, his eyes shut close before he resumed the pace. Grunts were replaced with soft moans, almost whimpers as his hips collided with the backs of your thighs. You barely had time to warn him, you managed to let out a strangled moan as you came, your body tightening around him. He came quickly after you did, his body practically collapsing against you as he shot his cum deep inside you, his heavy breath heating your skin. 

After a little while of him on top of you, whispering sweet things into your ear and kissing you gently on your neck, he sat up. You followed, glancing behind you at the air conditioning unit. “Thank fucking god.” You mutter, shaking your head. 

[joelmillergirl]

Fearing The Phenomena

Word count: 1,505

Warnings: sex, unprotected p in v, good ol’ creampie, passionate sex, riding the cowboy during a storm, softer Joel.

Author’s Note: Wrote this during a storm⛈️

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

When you were younger, before the outbreak, you loved storms. Your smaller, chubbier face smushed up against the window, counting the droplets of water that raced down the glass. You’d sit outside with your parents, watching the darker shades of clouds roll in, the wind steadily picking up before the thunder and lightning began.

Your favourite sound in the world was the sound of the storm raging above you as you were in bed, almost your whole body snuggled underneath your blankets, having the privilege of cuddling your endless amount of stuffed animals if it ever got too much.

After the outbreak you were left alone, having to adjust to the more violent and lonely world after being surrounded by people you loved for so long. You could still remember the first stormy season after the outbreak, the sounds and emotions coming back to you in flashes every now and then.

You were just twenty, limited survival knowledge and incapable of being alone for too long, you were amazed you had survived as long as you had. There was no one around, not where you were, the closest QZ was a state away, and you did not trust your sense of direction. You’d found yourself an old small house, it smelt faintly of mould, but it was in the middle of nowhere, you felt safe staying there for the night at least.

You had expected the rain, but not what followed along. That was the first time you’d ever been scared by a storm, the combination of the deafening thunder cracks, the howling of wind, and most importantly the fact that it was just you, shook you. You hadn’t slept at all that night, praying to anyone, anything that would listen, praying that it would end soon.

A couple years later after countless trials and tribulations with QZ’s, and other groups of people, you finally stumbled across Jackson, a small, growing town on its way to having electricity. The first two weeks of being a part of the community felt unreal, years worth of paranoia and anxiety had not vanished overnight. You slept with your knife in hand, you would have opted for sleeping with your gun but residents were only allowed such weapons on patrol.

Then, Joel came along. Your relationship had taken a while to develop, there wasn’t any rush, but sometimes you wished he’d just pull his head in and look at things clearer. He was weary of being with you, always going on about his past, how evil he was, how he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. He eventually came around, setting a fair few rules for the new dynamic that hadn’t lasted very long.

He’d been with you through a lot, understanding the deepest parts of you, parts you didn’t understand yourself, and vice versa. When a particularly rough patch of stormy weather flew over town, you finally caved and told him of your irrational new fear, being met with understanding and care from Joel. He stayed in bed with you until the loudest rumbles of thunder passed, kissing you on the head before getting out of bed to help the other townspeople clear up the debris.

It was a dark evening, thick clouds enveloped the sky, every now and then there was some light rainfall, but the worst of it was expected to come later that night. By ten, the rain had started to plummet down, the windows in yours and Joel’s house rattled slightly with the heavy wind, each time sending a wave of worry through your head.

You were sitting on the couch, blankets and pillows surrounding you and a warm body behind you. Joel’s arms were loosely wrapped around you, his head resting against the couch whilst yours rested on his chest. He drew little shapes onto your arms, wrapping you a little tighter to him when the thunder and lightning started to pick up.

By midnight, the storm was at its worst, loud cracks of thunder and bright flashes of lightning occurred at every opportunity, each one seemingly louder and more aggressive than the last. “Shh.” Joel hummed against your throat, resting his nose in the crook of your neck.

“I can’t.” You whisper back, your skin burning despite the cool temperature rushing in through the cracks of the windowpanes and doors. You were pressed up against Joel tightly, sitting between his legs, like always, protecting you.

“What do you need?” He asked softly, moving to the side slightly to see your face. You frown, leaning your head back further into his chest to look at him, his brown eyes boring into yours.

You think for a moment. “Need you, Joel. All of it.” His expression softened slightly, sending you one last glance of worry before he nodded.

“Okay, baby.” He muttered, moving further down into the couch, leaning his torso and head down. With his assistance, you turned in between his legs, now facing him you move to straddle him.

You peel off your jumper, revealing your sleep singlet underneath, not bothering to remove your shorts as they were flimsy sleeping ones, easy to pull aside. From beneath you, Joel lifted his hips up slightly, taking you with it, to pull himself out of his sweatpants. He was hard, not completely yet as you lowered yourself onto the length of him, holding your shorts aside with one hand as you slowly ground yourself up and down the length of his cock.

It didn't take long for Joel to fully harden, nor for you to become drenched in your own arousal. Another loud crack of thunder temporarily broke through your calm state. “Shh,” Joel whispered, shaking his head at you, “Focus.”

With a small smile and a nod, you shift your attention back to him, lifting yourself up slightly. Joel took himself in his hand, rubbing himself a few times before brushing the head of his cock against your clit, catching your slick on him as a lube of some sort before he moved lower down to your entrance.

You took him in slowly, making sure to take in every inch, savouring the intimate moment further. His large hands rested on your body, one remaining on your hip and the other around your leg, holding you firmly against him. After a few moments of getting used to his size, you gently start to rock yourself, lifting up a few inches then sinking back down, a mixture of your arousal and his’ coating around the base of him.

“Feel’s good.” You whisper, turning your gentle bounces into small grinds, his trimmed pubic hair brushing against your clit every time. His hands moved up your body, kneading at the skin on your sides before moving up to palm your tits, grabbing them both before they made their way back down your body, his fingers settling at your clit.

He applied pressure, slowly circling his fingers. “Good.” He whispered back, looking up at you softly. Small moans escaped from your mouth, your legs wrapped tightly around his sides. Eventually, he moved his hands back to your hips, aiding you to start bouncing back on his cock. He brought more force to these bounces, but it was still a far cry from the usual rougher sex you’d usually have.

Your ass slapped down onto his thighs, causing a satisfying sound to join your increasingly louder moans and Joel’s heavier grunts. “‘M gonna cum.” You muster up, leaning your head back in ecstasy. He started to bounce you faster, all his noises ceased as he got closer to his own orgasm, but he was focused on yours first.

He started moving his hips, meeting your bounces halfway, a step up from the slow pace you’d originally set. One of his hands remained on your hips whilst the other moved back up to your breasts, almost frantically pushing the fabric of your singlet up, eyeing off your now bare chest. He gently rolled your nipples between his fingers, the stimulation sent you over the edge, your legs wobbled and weakened, your eyes shut close, and your pussy tightened around him, aiding him to his release.

He came inside you, pulling you by the backs of your thighs as deep onto him as he could, his mouth ajar and eyes still watching yours, his hips slowing down with every thrust. When you lifted yourself up, his cum dribbled out of you, falling onto his softening cock and down your thigh. The storm had just started to fade out, wind grew weaker and rain grew lighter, creating a more soothing and relaxing atmosphere now that you were comfortable and sleepy.

Joel cleaned you up beforehand, made sure everything was okay outside by looking out the window, then joined you in bed, pressing his warm body against the back of yours. And with the soft patter of rain now on your window, and the steady breathing against your neck, you thought you could eventually start to soften up to the scarier storms.

[joelmillergirl]

Give In ~ Joel Millerxonenightstand!reader Drabble

Word count: 1,025

Warnings: unprotected piv, creampie, tit slaps, depiction of rougher sex, delulu Joel.

Author’s Note: Uhh, could not stop imagining like one night stand Joel Miller turns into him just obsessing over you.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

It took a while for Joel to give in. It was tempting, he couldn’t deny that, but every time, he refused. You were innocent, pure, slightly younger than him, everyone loved you. He was the opposite; dark, plagued with nightmares and violent reflexes, anticipating a scenario where he’d have to protect himself like he once had, and everyone seemed to avoid him.

Tommy had suggested the idea to him one night after a few drinks, the Sun finally disappearing behind the horizon after a long day of patrols. You were sitting alone at a table, a content expression on your face, minding your own business. Joel couldn’t help it, couldn’t resist the urge to just look at you, take you in. He’d seen you around, he’d never admit it, but he’d look for you in the crowds, your smile the brightest, your hair the softest, no, he’d never admit it.

“You taken a liking to her?” Tommy asked, breaking the silence. Joel turned his head towards his brother, his eyebrows furrowed. “She’s single.”

Joel winced and looked down at his drink, “Good for her.”

Tommy laughed beside him, downing his drink in one, “Come on, brother… Get out there! Get her a drink, anything other than starin’ at her will do…”

Joel sends his brother a glare, shaking his head, “Will you quit it? Not starin’… Not gettin’ her a drink.”

That was the first time he denied. Over the next few days, you had completely taken over his brain, clouding his thoughts, driving him insane. Every little thing reminded him of you, every little thought would develop into bigger thoughts, further into fantasies. It got to the point where he’d have to fuck his fist every time he wanted to go out, his cock aching and rock hard from the mere thought of you. He needed to get it out of his system, have a taste of you, but yet, he refused.

A week later, he found himself standing next to you during a town meeting. He hated it, almost hated you, how easy it was for him to get distracted with you near, hearing your small intakes of breath, imagining you were underneath him in his bed rather than in the town hall surrounded by others. At one point you had shifted on your feet, your arm brushing against Joel’s. The contact sent a rush of blood and adrenaline through his body right to his cock, causing him to almost instantly harden. He groaned quietly, his fist clenching, subtly moving away from you in an attempt to escape your alluring presence.

Joel looked up, scanning around the room nonchalantly, trying to think of anything else other than you. From the front of the room he caught Tommy’s eyes, the younger brother mischievously nodding his head over from Joel to you, winking. “Fucking prick.” Joel muttered, shaking his head at his brother.

“Pardon?” You asked hesitantly, having heard the remark. Joel looked at you silent for a moment, the two of you simply staring at each other.

Joel let out a deep breath, “Nothin’…” When you didn’t reply, he continued. “Just wanna get outta here.”

You smile, oblivious to the torment you were inflicting on the man next to you, “I feel that… Wanna ditch? Get a drink?”

He almost gave in, the words just about leaving his lips before he managed to ground himself. He looked at you, what looked like nervousness in your eye. You took your lip between your teeth, a gesture Joel did not miss. His jaw clenched, “No, I should stay… Wouldn’t be right to leave.”

He could see the disappointment in your expression, hated the way your teasing smile dropped slightly. You covered it well, sending him a more gentle, friendlier smile and a nod. That was the second time he refused.

When the third opportunity came around, he had nothing left in him to refuse. He was sitting at the bar alone, an empty glass in his hands when you stormed up to him, the effects of alcohol clearly taking its course through your body.

“I’ve seen you looking, Joel Miller.” You started, bumping into his side as you pulled the stool out next to him. “Been giving me those stares, can almost hear your thoughts... Am I crazy? Tell me I’m not imagining that, Joel.”

He looked at you, almost taken aback at your honesty. He cleared his throat, looking away from you, “No, you’re not imaginin’ it… Not crazy.” He cleared his throat again, his own voice slightly slurred from the drinks he had consumed before you’d approached him.

You huff, “So why haven’t you done anything about it? You’ve been driving me crazy, getting me all horny, all frustrated.”

Joel pulled his lips into a thin line, raising his eyebrow at you, “What do you want me to say, honey? Want me to apologise?”

“If an apology includes fucking me, yeah.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.

Joel sat up straighter, leaning closer to you, “What happened to the sweet girl I saw, hm? Not talkin’ very sweet.”

Not even twenty minutes after that conversation, you were in his bed, underneath him, fulfilling every fantasy he had ever had of you. No longer was the innocent, sweet talking girl he knew, this version of you was rougher, dirtier, begging for it harder.

He fucked into you hard, hips slapping into the back of your thighs as he held your legs up close to his shoulders with one hand, the other exploring your body, circling your clit before moving up to palm at your tits, his hand coming down and slapping the flesh gently, only sending another harder slap after you gave permission.

He stretched you out, reached places you never thought had existed, your pussy trapped him inside you, clenching tightly around his cock as he drove you closer to your orgasm. And when he watched you reach your climax, your legs fighting to shut close and your head flying back, triggering his own orgasm, his cum shooting deep inside you, he finally accepted that he would never be able to deny you ever again.

[joelmillergirl]

🥲🤍

Intro (end of the world)

Sweet Joel Slut Miller

Word count: 3,550

Warnings: not proofread, p in v, no cream pie for this one 😞, hard sex, but also soft sex! Not a lot of warnings for this one!

Authors Note: This took way longer than I liked but… I’m happy with it. 🤍

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

He started off as your patrol partner. He didn’t like you, never spoke more than four words to you every day, ‘Stay focused, be quick.’

His disinterest and bluntness had genuinely upset you at first, taking you aback when your cheery greeting was met with dead silence. You’d gotten used to it though, not once did you cease your talking, albeit, it was falling on deaf ears. Overtime, his eyebrows began softening, his lips quirked up at the side when you told a funny story, and with your teasing and your ability to never shut up on patrols, Joel found himself opening up to you, finding trust and comfort in yet another person he’d wanted to keep at arms length.

He never revealed much to you, only brief snippets of a life from before; a life he was starting to forget. He listened when you talked, placed an awkward hand on your shoulder when you cried, offered you his coffee when you ran out of your own. He had become your closest friend, one of your only friends.

Despite Jackson being a growing, close community, you often felt alone, your experiences feeling unmatched to those who had lost so much and had fought so much harder than you had. This feeling of discomfort and guilt led you to be quiet, always putting on a smile to avoid unanswerable questions. Joel saw right through this façade, going as far as cornering you in your own house, almost pleading with you to talk to him.

The rumours started within the first few days of your relationship, word spreading quick that you had managed to win over stone-hearted, broody Joel Miller, two polar opposites. Joel seemed to have no interest in these rumours, shaking his head at the mention of them. You on the other hand, became bashful at the thought, furrowing your eyebrows as if the idea was such a stretch.

Perhaps it was a stretch, the idea of Joel Miller dating made anyone snicker. He was undeniably attractive, physically pleasing to the eye with the Southern gentleman manners to match, naturally attracting many women in Jackson, older and younger. Some were brave to approach him, blinking their eyes at him over-dramatically, pushing their arms against their breasts in an effort to catch his eye, but none of these advances ever worked.

The hardest part about the rumours was how you couldn’t even blame anyone for thinking you were going out with Joel. You were always with each other, mostly found drinking in Jackson’s only ‘bar’, a small building with a home crafted bar top with tables strategically placed around the room, decorations hung up on the walls, most old and ripped. No one dared approach you when he was with you, Joel acting like somewhat of a bodyguard, looming over you. It was in his blood- you told yourself- his protectiveness, even though a small voice in the back of your head begged to differ.

You thump your fist against the wooden door, listening to the sound echo inside. A couple seconds of silence and then you hear heavy boots, seemingly trudging down some stairs, and then the door opened. Joel looked down at you, his usual stoic expression not shifting as you smile at him, “Drink?” You simply ask.

He tilts his head slightly, leaning on the doorframe. “You paying?” He joked lamely, a small smirk manifesting on his face.

“That’s not funny. You’re not funny.” You shake your head, a smile threatening your lips as he pulls himself off the doorframe, turning slightly to close his front door, then he’s stepping forward, pushing past you and down the porch steps.

He looks back once, jerking his head forward gently. You hop down the steps, falling in line next to him as he starts walking, sending a small glance to you. “Feel like I haven’t seen much of ya.” He confessed, looking down at the gravel below his feet.

You furrow your eyebrows, looking at him. “Oh… I mean, I picked up that extra patrol to help Maria out yesterday.”

Joel nods, “Yeah, I know. Went okay?” You were silent for a moment. “Did it?” He further pushed, looking at you properly.

“Infected were fine, not many… it was quiet.” You shrug, looking away from his piercing gaze. He didn’t say anything in response, but you could feel his eyes boring into the side of your face. “It was with Zack… I don’t know, he’s…”

“Pushy?” Joel finishes for you, finally looking away from you.

You sigh, raking your hands through your hair, “Well, yes, he is. But he’s a good person to be with on patrol, I just… He’s a bit much.”

Joel nods slowly, pushing into your side slightly as a group of women walk past, giggles following after them with a few looking back over their shoulders to look at him, you laugh under your breath, nudging him gently. Joel scowls, moving back to his original position, a gap between you. “Who’re you with tomorrow?” He asks.

You grimace, “Zack. Just this last time. Should be fine.” You perk up at the sight of the bar, your eyes craning to see how busy it was. You dreaded the thought of tomorrow's patrol, so used to being with Joel. His comforting aura replaced with an uncomfortable one with Zack. He wasn’t creepy, nor was he rude, just too enthusiastic about himself and his ability to charm women, he wasn’t what you were used to.

Joel stepped in front of you to open the bars’ door, moving to the side and nodding his head towards the entrance. You thank him quietly as you walk in, immediately moving to take your jacket off, the unexpected, yet pleasant warmth rushing through your body. “I’m kind of hungry.” You say, handing your jacket to Joel for him to hang up on the stand by the door.

“We’ll get you something to eat then.” Joel muttered, placing his hand on your shoulder and pushing you forward gently. You choose to sit down at a table in a corner, your back facing the wall. “Beer?” He asks, hand resting in front of you on the table.

Your eyes fall to his hand, tracing up the perceptible veins running up his arm. You blink and look up to him, “Uh, yes. Thanks.” Joel looks at you for a second longer, squinting his eyes before turning around, approaching Seth at the bar, the man who made the alcohol as best as he could given the circumstances, which surprisingly, after a few months of testing, had resulted in near identical flavours from the world before.

You found your mind wandering as you waited for Joel to come back, your head face down, completely tuning out everyone around you. After what seems like a few minutes, you look up, eyes scanning the bar for Joel, who is picking up two glasses when you see him. You’re about to stand up to help him but a voice pulls your attention away, Zack, talking loudly to his group of friends.

You’re still absentmindedly looking at Zack when Joel appears next to you, placing one glass in front of you along with a little bowl of peanuts. You look up at him when he stays standing, he’s looking at Zack “Thank you.” You say.

He looks down at you when you speak, eyes flickering to the bowl which you start grabbing from, then nods once, sitting down with his glass. He doesn’t drink though, remains looking at the liquid, every so often swishing it around in the glass. You frown, taking a sip of your own. He looks up at you, “You’re welcome.”

You almost laugh at the delayed response, opting to instead smile at him, eating the peanuts he had brought you. Next to you, you hear three sets of small giggles, belonging to young teenage girls, all of them looking at you and Joel before looking away at each other, whispering amongst themselves. Joel’s fingers sneak their way over to your side of the table, grabbing a handful of peanuts for himself, smirking. You laugh at his face, “Why’re you smirking?”

“Peanuts… Takes me back, eating them at the proper bars… Tommy sittin’ next to me. He was underage, of course.” Joel points out, shaking his head slightly, “Guess I was a bad influence.” He looks up at you, tilting his hand into his mouth and then finally taking his first drink of the beer, all while staring at you.

You look down, sigh, then look back up at him. “I wanna go to bed.” Joel raises his eyebrow, laughs slightly.

“It’s like eight. Not even I wanna go to bed this early. You’re older than you think, girl.” He says, looking at you amused. You roll your eyes at his remark, finishing off the last bit of your drink.

Later that night, he walks you home. You tell yourself he did it because of a deeper meaning, but you knew it was only because his house was a street away from yours. Still, you thanked him for walking you, listened to him tell you off for thanking him, and then said goodbye. You made sure to check on him from your window before you made your way up to your room, as if anything would happen to him in the confined town.

The sun was just creeping over the horizon as you stood by the patrol roster near the horse paddocks, a deep sigh escaping your lips. You really were dreading today's patrol, knowing it would be spent being subjected to Zack’s borderline narcissistic rants about himself. A part of you felt bad, he wasn’t a bad guy. He was attractive, he treated women with respect, he had an airy voice, higher in pitch. The opposite of Joel.

The comparison threw you off guard. When did you start thinking about him so much? Comparing him to other guys you interacted with? It was the rumours getting to your head, you told yourself as you made your way to the gate, where you knew Zack would be with both horses. Only, it wasn’t Zack you laid eyes on when you got there, rather Joel. He was holding the reins of his horse and yours, skilfully avoiding the eyes of everyone around him, until as if knowing you were there, he looked up and made eye contact with you.

The gap closed between you, questions and thoughts running through your head before you could even reach him. “Mornin’.” Joel muttered when you were close enough, his hand reaching out with your horse's rein.

You gently take it from him, “Thanks… Zack’s probably trying to find her right now though.” You laugh, placing your hand on the side of the horse's face, gently smoothing down the short fur there. Joel clears his throat gently in front of you.

“Probably not. You’re with me today.” He nods to himself, glancing at you for a second before turning away, slowly pulling his horse behind him. You stood still for a moment, more questions arising in your head. Zack appears in the corner of your eyesight, standing alongside one of the younger patrolmen, he sends you a friendly wave.

Maria stands tough in front of everyone, going through all the rules and regulations you have to listen to every week, you fight the urge to just barge through and get on with it. Everyone’s on their horses now, making sure their weapons are ready and that they have everything they need. You had already checked twice, and Joel seemingly had as well as he sat next to you listening to Maria’s words intently. He glances to the side at you, “Pay attention, don’t need you forgetting any of this when we’re out there.”

Another joke of his. “Funny.” You say with a flat tone, shaking your head. At last Maria had given the green light, sending the signal to open the large gate in front of everyone. You always got nervous watching the gates open, the intrusive thoughts and anxiety always hitting you suddenly. Your hands tighten around the leather, and you start consciously telling yourself to take deep breaths. Joel reaches over slightly and taps the side of your leg twice, nodding gently. You nod back, and then you’re moving forward.

You were on your favourite trail, everything about it was peaceful and normally quiet. You were quiet. Your usual chirpy attitude was replaced with a more sluggish one, something Joel picked up on instantly. “Favourite trail, huh?” He started, letting out a deep sigh, “Pretty cold, should light a fire when we get up to the safe house.”

“Mhm.” You hum, closing your eyes for a few seconds, “Warm fire.” The cooler air surrounded you, almost wrapping itself around you in a cold grasp. It temporarily lifted your worries, all your questions and anxieties soothing for a while as you focused on what you were meant to be doing; patrolling.

Joel effortlessly located any infected that were in the way, relying on you to move at his pace, watch his back and defend yourself as he focused on taking them all out. You worked in harmony, doing your jobs well, and by the end of the day, the sun now back at the horizon darkening the sky, you were exhausted.

The safe house was freezing when you finally were able to walk inside, seizing up your body. You immediately turned to Joel, opening your mouth to complain. “I know.” He said before you could, “Give me a minute to light it up. Make yourself useful and heat up our food.”

You roll your eyes at his command but obey nonetheless, fishing out the cans of food he had brought along and moving to the semi functional kitchen, doing your best to make the most appealing dinner you could. You walk out with the two plates in hand to a soothingly warm living room, Joel sitting by the fireplace peering at the flames. “Dinner.” You announce after a shameful amount of seconds simply admiring him, and more specifically, his back profile.

You glance up at him every now and then when you eat. Sometimes you make eye contact, other times you go unnoticed. You’re speaking before you can stop yourself, “Did you change patrols with Zack?”

He pauses, his hand hovers in the air for a moment before he places his fork down and looks at you properly. “Why?”

You shrug and look down. “Just asking. It’s a little weird, I wasn’t told it was changing.” He seems a little tense now, so you quiet down and finish eating, the air thick around you.

Joel stands up, grunting as he did. “I… I asked Maria to change ‘em. Thought you might’ve been uncomfortable with him.” You look up at him and try to catch his eye, which seems impossible given he was looking everywhere but you.

“You’re right.” You stand up, taking his empty plate from his hands, “Thank you.” You leave him standing there to go wash the dishes, cringing at yourself. Your mind was wandering, thinking about Joel in a way you hadn’t before. You couldn’t tell if it was in the heat of the moment because of him changing the patrols around or if you’d always felt this way, hidden inside you, scared to ruin your friendship.

He was sitting on the couch when you went back out, his posture drooped. He looked up when you walked in, his lips parting to let out a sigh. “Can I confess?”

You stop in front of him. “Confess what?”

He seems to debate something in his head, his eyes close and his head falls into his hands. “I thought it was a heat of the moment thing… I tried to stop, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.” He rambles, almost looking in pain to admit such a thing.

“I think that’s the most I’ve heard you say in one go.” You joke, stifling a smile. He looks up at you unimpressed, shaking his head. You frown, “Joel… I don’t know what to say. Is it a bad thing?”

He looks at you again, “What?” A log falls in the fireplace.

“Is it a bad thing that you think about me?” You clarify, shrugging your shoulders.

He thinks for a moment, pursing his lips gently. “Depends.” He finally answers, looking into your eyes.

You smile awkwardly, breaking eye contact. “I’ve been thinking about you too. And it doesn’t annoy me as much as I’d expect it to.” You tease.

Joel shakes his head, but you see a small smile. It tugs at your heart, taking you by surprise. In a moment of confidence and slight lust, you sit down next to each other, thighs brushing. You look at each other for a moment, studying every feature, every dimple, every colour. And then he kisses you.

His lips are soft against yours, and more skilled than you expected of him, his tongue pushing through your lips and into your mouth, metaphorically and literally taking away your breath. You lean away from him, laughing softly before taking him in another kiss, this one more desperate and messy than the one before.

His hands rake up your thighs, moving over the dip between your hips and ribs then moving up to the side of your breasts, his fingers barely touching them. You move your torso to the side, forcing his hand to cup you, the unexpected gesture causing him to moan in your mouth, his hand subconsciously squeezing you harder.

Whilst his hands move up your body, mapping out every curve, your own hands sneak their way over his belt, skilfully unbuckling it before you suddenly stop. Joel stops kissing you but stays close, panting. “You can.” He whispers, so you continue.

In a matter of seconds, both of you are practically naked, only confined in your underwear. You palm him through his boxers, his cock already rock hard and throbbing under your heavy touch. He pushes you further down onto the couch, caging you down between his arms. Your hips move upwards, almost chasing his cock, silently begging for him to fuck you, a plea he listens to.

He reaches behind you and unclasps your bra, throwing it to the side on the floor. He immediately moves down to take your hardened nipple in his mouth, twirling it around with his tongue before closing his mouth around it, sucking gently. You arch up into his mouth, using your feet to push down his boxers, his cock springing out of the confinement.

He moves closer to you, one hand on the armrest behind your head, bracing himself up. His cock teases you, the head of him pushing against your underwear, leaving a spot of wetness where precum had dripped down. One of your hands delicately pushes your panties to the side, the other moves to his cock, moving up and down the thick length of him a few times before you take your hand away, moving down to rub your clit.

He pushes inside of you tentatively, stopping every couple of seconds to allow you to adjust around him, having not had anyone fuck you for a while. He whispered in your ear, soothing you and praising you for taking him so well, his spare hand rubbing your thigh, whilst your fingers moved slowly against your clit still, small moans spilling out your mouth.

He gave you a little while to breathe after he pushed himself as far as he could inside you, despite being desperate to fuck you how he wanted. “Take your time.” He whispered, shaking his head at you.

You nod at him, closing your eyes in ecstasy at the mere feeling of him. “You can move now.” Your legs tighten around his waist, pulling him closer to you as he starts to roll his hips, moving slowly at first, allowing you to feel every stroke. You moan breathlessly in his ear, your hands raking up his back, digging your nails into his skin hard enough to leave a mark. He fucks you harder, pulling out almost completely and then pushing his way back inside you, the sound of your skin slapping together and your moans filling the otherwise quiet room.

You can feel your orgasm tearing its way through your body with every rough thrust Joel delivers, his pubic hair grazes your clit adding to the growing pressure. You whisper in his mouth you’re going to cum, your legs start to shake. The intensity of his thrusts slow down a bit, becoming unrhythmic and sloppy, his own release making its way through.

With a final few hard pushes inside you and gasps of pleasure, you cum, your muscles tensing up and squeezing around his cock, effectively causing his own orgasm to hit him. Joel manages to pull out in time, his cum spurting out onto your pussy. He breathes in deeply, a shaky breath, and then he’s kissing you gently, softer, brushing your hair out of your face as you come down from the high.

You sleep together for the first time in one bed, limbs tangled and breaths in sync as the night fades away into a new Dawn.

[joelmillergirl]

Intro (end of the world)

Sweet Joel Slut Miller

Word count: 3,550

Warnings: not proofread, p in v, no cream pie for this one 😞, hard sex, but also soft sex! Not a lot of warnings for this one!

Authors Note: This took way longer than I liked but… I’m happy with it. 🤍

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

He started off as your patrol partner. He didn’t like you, never spoke more than four words to you every day, ‘Stay focused, be quick.’

His disinterest and bluntness had genuinely upset you at first, taking you aback when your cheery greeting was met with dead silence. You’d gotten used to it though, not once did you cease your talking, albeit, it was falling on deaf ears. Overtime, his eyebrows began softening, his lips quirked up at the side when you told a funny story, and with your teasing and your ability to never shut up on patrols, Joel found himself opening up to you, finding trust and comfort in yet another person he’d wanted to keep at arms length.

He never revealed much to you, only brief snippets of a life from before; a life he was starting to forget. He listened when you talked, placed an awkward hand on your shoulder when you cried, offered you his coffee when you ran out of your own. He had become your closest friend, one of your only friends.

Despite Jackson being a growing, close community, you often felt alone, your experiences feeling unmatched to those who had lost so much and had fought so much harder than you had. This feeling of discomfort and guilt led you to be quiet, always putting on a smile to avoid unanswerable questions. Joel saw right through this façade, going as far as cornering you in your own house, almost pleading with you to talk to him.

The rumours started within the first few days of your relationship, word spreading quick that you had managed to win over stone-hearted, broody Joel Miller, two polar opposites. Joel seemed to have no interest in these rumours, shaking his head at the mention of them. You on the other hand, became bashful at the thought, furrowing your eyebrows as if the idea was such a stretch.

Perhaps it was a stretch, the idea of Joel Miller dating made anyone snicker. He was undeniably attractive, physically pleasing to the eye with the Southern gentleman manners to match, naturally attracting many women in Jackson, older and younger. Some were brave to approach him, blinking their eyes at him over-dramatically, pushing their arms against their breasts in an effort to catch his eye, but none of these advances ever worked.

The hardest part about the rumours was how you couldn’t even blame anyone for thinking you were going out with Joel. You were always with each other, mostly found drinking in Jackson’s only ‘bar’, a small building with a home crafted bar top with tables strategically placed around the room, decorations hung up on the walls, most old and ripped. No one dared approach you when he was with you, Joel acting like somewhat of a bodyguard, looming over you. It was in his blood- you told yourself- his protectiveness, even though a small voice in the back of your head begged to differ.

You thump your fist against the wooden door, listening to the sound echo inside. A couple seconds of silence and then you hear heavy boots, seemingly trudging down some stairs, and then the door opened. Joel looked down at you, his usual stoic expression not shifting as you smile at him, “Drink?” You simply ask.

He tilts his head slightly, leaning on the doorframe. “You paying?” He joked lamely, a small smirk manifesting on his face.

“That’s not funny. You’re not funny.” You shake your head, a smile threatening your lips as he pulls himself off the doorframe, turning slightly to close his front door, then he’s stepping forward, pushing past you and down the porch steps.

He looks back once, jerking his head forward gently. You hop down the steps, falling in line next to him as he starts walking, sending a small glance to you. “Feel like I haven’t seen much of ya.” He confessed, looking down at the gravel below his feet.

You furrow your eyebrows, looking at him. “Oh… I mean, I picked up that extra patrol to help Maria out yesterday.”

Joel nods, “Yeah, I know. Went okay?” You were silent for a moment. “Did it?” He further pushed, looking at you properly.

“Infected were fine, not many… it was quiet.” You shrug, looking away from his piercing gaze. He didn’t say anything in response, but you could feel his eyes boring into the side of your face. “It was with Zack… I don’t know, he’s…”

“Pushy?” Joel finishes for you, finally looking away from you.

You sigh, raking your hands through your hair, “Well, yes, he is. But he’s a good person to be with on patrol, I just… He’s a bit much.”

Joel nods slowly, pushing into your side slightly as a group of women walk past, giggles following after them with a few looking back over their shoulders to look at him, you laugh under your breath, nudging him gently. Joel scowls, moving back to his original position, a gap between you. “Who’re you with tomorrow?” He asks.

You grimace, “Zack. Just this last time. Should be fine.” You perk up at the sight of the bar, your eyes craning to see how busy it was. You dreaded the thought of tomorrow's patrol, so used to being with Joel. His comforting aura replaced with an uncomfortable one with Zack. He wasn’t creepy, nor was he rude, just too enthusiastic about himself and his ability to charm women, he wasn’t what you were used to.

Joel stepped in front of you to open the bars’ door, moving to the side and nodding his head towards the entrance. You thank him quietly as you walk in, immediately moving to take your jacket off, the unexpected, yet pleasant warmth rushing through your body. “I’m kind of hungry.” You say, handing your jacket to Joel for him to hang up on the stand by the door.

“We’ll get you something to eat then.” Joel muttered, placing his hand on your shoulder and pushing you forward gently. You choose to sit down at a table in a corner, your back facing the wall. “Beer?” He asks, hand resting in front of you on the table.

Your eyes fall to his hand, tracing up the perceptible veins running up his arm. You blink and look up to him, “Uh, yes. Thanks.” Joel looks at you for a second longer, squinting his eyes before turning around, approaching Seth at the bar, the man who made the alcohol as best as he could given the circumstances, which surprisingly, after a few months of testing, had resulted in near identical flavours from the world before.

You found your mind wandering as you waited for Joel to come back, your head face down, completely tuning out everyone around you. After what seems like a few minutes, you look up, eyes scanning the bar for Joel, who is picking up two glasses when you see him. You’re about to stand up to help him but a voice pulls your attention away, Zack, talking loudly to his group of friends.

You’re still absentmindedly looking at Zack when Joel appears next to you, placing one glass in front of you along with a little bowl of peanuts. You look up at him when he stays standing, he’s looking at Zack “Thank you.” You say.

He looks down at you when you speak, eyes flickering to the bowl which you start grabbing from, then nods once, sitting down with his glass. He doesn’t drink though, remains looking at the liquid, every so often swishing it around in the glass. You frown, taking a sip of your own. He looks up at you, “You’re welcome.”

You almost laugh at the delayed response, opting to instead smile at him, eating the peanuts he had brought you. Next to you, you hear three sets of small giggles, belonging to young teenage girls, all of them looking at you and Joel before looking away at each other, whispering amongst themselves. Joel’s fingers sneak their way over to your side of the table, grabbing a handful of peanuts for himself, smirking. You laugh at his face, “Why’re you smirking?”

“Peanuts… Takes me back, eating them at the proper bars… Tommy sittin’ next to me. He was underage, of course.” Joel points out, shaking his head slightly, “Guess I was a bad influence.” He looks up at you, tilting his hand into his mouth and then finally taking his first drink of the beer, all while staring at you.

You look down, sigh, then look back up at him. “I wanna go to bed.” Joel raises his eyebrow, laughs slightly.

“It’s like eight. Not even I wanna go to bed this early. You’re older than you think, girl.” He says, looking at you amused. You roll your eyes at his remark, finishing off the last bit of your drink.

Later that night, he walks you home. You tell yourself he did it because of a deeper meaning, but you knew it was only because his house was a street away from yours. Still, you thanked him for walking you, listened to him tell you off for thanking him, and then said goodbye. You made sure to check on him from your window before you made your way up to your room, as if anything would happen to him in the confined town.

The sun was just creeping over the horizon as you stood by the patrol roster near the horse paddocks, a deep sigh escaping your lips. You really were dreading today's patrol, knowing it would be spent being subjected to Zack’s borderline narcissistic rants about himself. A part of you felt bad, he wasn’t a bad guy. He was attractive, he treated women with respect, he had an airy voice, higher in pitch. The opposite of Joel.

The comparison threw you off guard. When did you start thinking about him so much? Comparing him to other guys you interacted with? It was the rumours getting to your head, you told yourself as you made your way to the gate, where you knew Zack would be with both horses. Only, it wasn’t Zack you laid eyes on when you got there, rather Joel. He was holding the reins of his horse and yours, skilfully avoiding the eyes of everyone around him, until as if knowing you were there, he looked up and made eye contact with you.

The gap closed between you, questions and thoughts running through your head before you could even reach him. “Mornin’.” Joel muttered when you were close enough, his hand reaching out with your horse's rein.

You gently take it from him, “Thanks… Zack’s probably trying to find her right now though.” You laugh, placing your hand on the side of the horse's face, gently smoothing down the short fur there. Joel clears his throat gently in front of you.

“Probably not. You’re with me today.” He nods to himself, glancing at you for a second before turning away, slowly pulling his horse behind him. You stood still for a moment, more questions arising in your head. Zack appears in the corner of your eyesight, standing alongside one of the younger patrolmen, he sends you a friendly wave.

Maria stands tough in front of everyone, going through all the rules and regulations you have to listen to every week, you fight the urge to just barge through and get on with it. Everyone’s on their horses now, making sure their weapons are ready and that they have everything they need. You had already checked twice, and Joel seemingly had as well as he sat next to you listening to Maria’s words intently. He glances to the side at you, “Pay attention, don’t need you forgetting any of this when we’re out there.”

Another joke of his. “Funny.” You say with a flat tone, shaking your head. At last Maria had given the green light, sending the signal to open the large gate in front of everyone. You always got nervous watching the gates open, the intrusive thoughts and anxiety always hitting you suddenly. Your hands tighten around the leather, and you start consciously telling yourself to take deep breaths. Joel reaches over slightly and taps the side of your leg twice, nodding gently. You nod back, and then you’re moving forward.

You were on your favourite trail, everything about it was peaceful and normally quiet. You were quiet. Your usual chirpy attitude was replaced with a more sluggish one, something Joel picked up on instantly. “Favourite trail, huh?” He started, letting out a deep sigh, “Pretty cold, should light a fire when we get up to the safe house.”

“Mhm.” You hum, closing your eyes for a few seconds, “Warm fire.” The cooler air surrounded you, almost wrapping itself around you in a cold grasp. It temporarily lifted your worries, all your questions and anxieties soothing for a while as you focused on what you were meant to be doing; patrolling.

Joel effortlessly located any infected that were in the way, relying on you to move at his pace, watch his back and defend yourself as he focused on taking them all out. You worked in harmony, doing your jobs well, and by the end of the day, the sun now back at the horizon darkening the sky, you were exhausted.

The safe house was freezing when you finally were able to walk inside, seizing up your body. You immediately turned to Joel, opening your mouth to complain. “I know.” He said before you could, “Give me a minute to light it up. Make yourself useful and heat up our food.”

You roll your eyes at his command but obey nonetheless, fishing out the cans of food he had brought along and moving to the semi functional kitchen, doing your best to make the most appealing dinner you could. You walk out with the two plates in hand to a soothingly warm living room, Joel sitting by the fireplace peering at the flames. “Dinner.” You announce after a shameful amount of seconds simply admiring him, and more specifically, his back profile.

You glance up at him every now and then when you eat. Sometimes you make eye contact, other times you go unnoticed. You’re speaking before you can stop yourself, “Did you change patrols with Zack?”

He pauses, his hand hovers in the air for a moment before he places his fork down and looks at you properly. “Why?”

You shrug and look down. “Just asking. It’s a little weird, I wasn’t told it was changing.” He seems a little tense now, so you quiet down and finish eating, the air thick around you.

Joel stands up, grunting as he did. “I… I asked Maria to change ‘em. Thought you might’ve been uncomfortable with him.” You look up at him and try to catch his eye, which seems impossible given he was looking everywhere but you.

“You’re right.” You stand up, taking his empty plate from his hands, “Thank you.” You leave him standing there to go wash the dishes, cringing at yourself. Your mind was wandering, thinking about Joel in a way you hadn’t before. You couldn’t tell if it was in the heat of the moment because of him changing the patrols around or if you’d always felt this way, hidden inside you, scared to ruin your friendship.

He was sitting on the couch when you went back out, his posture drooped. He looked up when you walked in, his lips parting to let out a sigh. “Can I confess?”

You stop in front of him. “Confess what?”

He seems to debate something in his head, his eyes close and his head falls into his hands. “I thought it was a heat of the moment thing… I tried to stop, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.” He rambles, almost looking in pain to admit such a thing.

“I think that’s the most I’ve heard you say in one go.” You joke, stifling a smile. He looks up at you unimpressed, shaking his head. You frown, “Joel… I don’t know what to say. Is it a bad thing?”

He looks at you again, “What?” A log falls in the fireplace.

“Is it a bad thing that you think about me?” You clarify, shrugging your shoulders.

He thinks for a moment, pursing his lips gently. “Depends.” He finally answers, looking into your eyes.

You smile awkwardly, breaking eye contact. “I’ve been thinking about you too. And it doesn’t annoy me as much as I’d expect it to.” You tease.

Joel shakes his head, but you see a small smile. It tugs at your heart, taking you by surprise. In a moment of confidence and slight lust, you sit down next to each other, thighs brushing. You look at each other for a moment, studying every feature, every dimple, every colour. And then he kisses you.

His lips are soft against yours, and more skilled than you expected of him, his tongue pushing through your lips and into your mouth, metaphorically and literally taking away your breath. You lean away from him, laughing softly before taking him in another kiss, this one more desperate and messy than the one before.

His hands rake up your thighs, moving over the dip between your hips and ribs then moving up to the side of your breasts, his fingers barely touching them. You move your torso to the side, forcing his hand to cup you, the unexpected gesture causing him to moan in your mouth, his hand subconsciously squeezing you harder.

Whilst his hands move up your body, mapping out every curve, your own hands sneak their way over his belt, skilfully unbuckling it before you suddenly stop. Joel stops kissing you but stays close, panting. “You can.” He whispers, so you continue.

In a matter of seconds, both of you are practically naked, only confined in your underwear. You palm him through his boxers, his cock already rock hard and throbbing under your heavy touch. He pushes you further down onto the couch, caging you down between his arms. Your hips move upwards, almost chasing his cock, silently begging for him to fuck you, a plea he listens to.

He reaches behind you and unclasps your bra, throwing it to the side on the floor. He immediately moves down to take your hardened nipple in his mouth, twirling it around with his tongue before closing his mouth around it, sucking gently. You arch up into his mouth, using your feet to push down his boxers, his cock springing out of the confinement.

He moves closer to you, one hand on the armrest behind your head, bracing himself up. His cock teases you, the head of him pushing against your underwear, leaving a spot of wetness where precum had dripped down. One of your hands delicately pushes your panties to the side, the other moves to his cock, moving up and down the thick length of him a few times before you take your hand away, moving down to rub your clit.

He pushes inside of you tentatively, stopping every couple of seconds to allow you to adjust around him, having not had anyone fuck you for a while. He whispered in your ear, soothing you and praising you for taking him so well, his spare hand rubbing your thigh, whilst your fingers moved slowly against your clit still, small moans spilling out your mouth.

He gave you a little while to breathe after he pushed himself as far as he could inside you, despite being desperate to fuck you how he wanted. “Take your time.” He whispered, shaking his head at you.

You nod at him, closing your eyes in ecstasy at the mere feeling of him. “You can move now.” Your legs tighten around his waist, pulling him closer to you as he starts to roll his hips, moving slowly at first, allowing you to feel every stroke. You moan breathlessly in his ear, your hands raking up his back, digging your nails into his skin hard enough to leave a mark. He fucks you harder, pulling out almost completely and then pushing his way back inside you, the sound of your skin slapping together and your moans filling the otherwise quiet room.

You can feel your orgasm tearing its way through your body with every rough thrust Joel delivers, his pubic hair grazes your clit adding to the growing pressure. You whisper in his mouth you’re going to cum, your legs start to shake. The intensity of his thrusts slow down a bit, becoming unrhythmic and sloppy, his own release making its way through.

With a final few hard pushes inside you and gasps of pleasure, you cum, your muscles tensing up and squeezing around his cock, effectively causing his own orgasm to hit him. Joel manages to pull out in time, his cum spurting out onto your pussy. He breathes in deeply, a shaky breath, and then he’s kissing you gently, softer, brushing your hair out of your face as you come down from the high.

You sleep together for the first time in one bed, limbs tangled and breaths in sync as the night fades away into a new Dawn.

[joelmillergirl]

Illicit Arrangement- Joel Miller

Part 2 of Forbidden From You

Word count: 2,762

Warnings: anal play, threats of anal, bondage, clothed cock riding, cockwarming, p in v, creampie, breeding kink, degradation, praise, hard sex, reader is able to be picked up!

Authors Note: So many people asked for a part 2, so I delivered. Thank you!! Tags: @emisprocrastinating @macaroni676 @sunsfrend

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"Whoops." Joel muttered, gesturing to the front door where his younger brother had finally come to the realisation.

A year had passed since Tommy had found out about your secret arrangement with his older brother. He had successfully avoided you for two weeks in what you assumed was anger but had later found out was actually mortification.

You had cornered Tommy in his own house, almost in tears, as you demanded an explanation and begged for approval. After a long, awkward conversation, Tommy agreed that he was in no place to be upset and that he did support you; it was just not in his cards to find out the way he did.

The secret had come out; practically everyone knew now about the relationship you had with Joel, or lack of thereof. You weren’t an official couple, yet you might’ve well have been. Joel refused to label what you had- a decision he made that drove you to insanity. One night, he had come home visibly annoyed, mumbling under his breath about his brother.

“You see, Joel.” Tommy slurred, slapping his hand on his brothers’ back. “I’ve known her for years, she’s like my little sister, like my little chick.”

Joel frowned, leaning away from Tommy to look at him, “Your… Chick?”

“It’s a baby bird,” Tommy clarified before continuing, “I told ya to keep away from her, your broody self compared to her sweet self… didn’t want you breaking her heart. But you’re together now-“

“Uh, we’re not-“ Joel tried to argue.

Tommy held up his hand, silencing an angry looking Joel, “You’re together now, and I have to accept it. Don’t break her heart, Joel.” His tone, previously lighthearted and slurred, now changed into a more serious tone, “I’ll never forgive you if you hurt her.”

Guilt had seemed to become an overwhelming part of your days, always questioning Joel's moves, wondering whether or not he wanted you for sex or something deeper. You confided in Maria about it but felt even guiltier when you questioned whether or not she'd tell Tommy about it as well.

You were sitting outside with Joel, a glass of rich wine in your hand, as the sun started setting, the final colours of the day painted across the darkening sky, a mixture of orange, pink, and light reds. Not many people came out this time of day; everyone in their houses were eating, or debriefing after a day of patrols. A picture-perfect environment for you.

Joel was silent next to you, his breath coming in slowly, his eyes closing for a few seconds longer every time he blinked, pure serenity. "What are we?" You break the silence, asking the question you had yearned to ask for months- a question you knew he'd try his best to avoid.

He sighed deeply, finishing his drink in one go, electing to stay staring at the sky. "Must we label it?" He finally answered, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

You lean back, closing your eyes for a moment. "I want there to be a label. I don't know how to... be around you, what to refer to you as."

Joel listened to you, watching as the painted colours slowly started to fade, a dark new colour instead enveloping the sky. "Honey, I just don't understand the label thing." He admitted, "Why can't we just be what we are and leave it at that?"

"I wanna be more." You say, clutching onto the glass a little tighter, "It'll be just like how we are right now, but I'd get to call you my boyfriend. Flaunt you a little, I don't know." You mumble, sighing.

Joel chuckled quietly, "That's what you wanna do? Flaunt me? How entertaining, a young woman flaunting about her old boyfriend. Bet Jackson would be delighted."

You furrow your eyebrows, turning to face him. "Is that why you haven't wanted to be official? Because you're embarrassed you're with someone younger than you?"

The air around you was stale, your question lingered in the silent air for a few seconds. Joel shook his head slowly. "More so embarrassed for you. You don't wanna be stuck with me. Plenty of fellas here younger, more agile."

You stand up suddenly, needing to move only a step until you were right by his side. Your nails brushed against his beard, the usual deep brown now tainted with little grey streaks. "Don't want them. You're only a few years older than me, Joel... I don't want anyone else."

Joel looked up at you, his fingers stretching out from where they lay on his lap, "Just me?"

"Just you." You nod, leaning down to kiss him. Your noses brushed against each other for a second, before you twisted your face, connecting with him as your lips met. One kiss, then two, then three. The soft touches slowly turning into something more desperate.

He stood up, his lips never leaving yours as he wrapped his hands around your ass, lifting you up. "Yep," He chuckled, walking you into the house, "Definitely gettin' old."

He took you up into the bedroom, a place you were familiar with now. You were imprinted in everything, your scent on the pillows, your books on the bedside tables, bits of décor from your house (that you still technically lived in). Joel placed you down onto his bed, standing up straight as you began stripping your clothes, pushing yourself up onto your knees as Joel stood at the foot of the mattress, watching you. Bare and vulnerable, you knelt in front of him, your hands cautiously reaching out to his belt.

He grabbed your hands when you were close enough, shaking his head. With his free hand, he loosened it himself, pulling it out of the loopholes all whilst holding steady eye contact with you. With his belt in one hand and your hands in his other, he stepped a little closer, wrapping the belt around your wrists, effectively tying your hands together.

"Tight?" He asked, looking at you softly.

You shake your head, "Perfect."

"I'm gonna have you, little girl. All for myself, you understand?" He asked, pushing you back so you lay looking up at him. You could only nod, his words sending a spark down to your already aching cunt, a wave of arousal accumulating near your entrance. His shirt was taken off first, haphazardly thrown onto the floor beside him, followed by his jeans and eventually his boxers. His cock was already hard, the tip red and glistening with pre-come.

Your legs automatically spread as he knelt between them, the wide length of him causing your legs to part in a way that had your muscles struggling. He carefully moved your bound hands above your head, pressing down on them to indicate not to move them before his hand moved to gently grasp your thigh, squeezing it before he dragged his cock down the slit of your pussy.

The stretch was something you had gotten used to, every time he filled you up there was still some slight discomfort that lingered for a moment before he started moving. He talked you through it every time, whispering in your ear and massaging your skin as he praised you. Tonight the air was different. Once he was settled deep inside of you, he began fucking you, his hips connecting to your skin roughly, the power behind it shoving you further up the bed.

His hands met your tied ones, using them to keep himself up, his grunts reaching your ears over your loud moans. "Don't know what I was thinkin'." Joel muttered, looking down at where you were connected, his balls now slapping against your ass. "I've ruined you, couldn't take another dick after mine, could ya?"

"No." You moan, your eyes shutting closed as his hand moved from your hip down to your clit, circling it gently. Joel watched you intently, his thrusts not ceasing as he grunted above you. Suddenly he grabbed your legs, pushing them up to your chest, sliding deeper inside you.

He looked down again, suddenly groaning out. "Look at ya takin' me," He whispered, "Think you could take me in here?" His fingers circled your asshole, gently pushing the tip of his thumb inside. "I won't do it, not yet."

His consistent thrusts and the slow drawl in your ear set you off, your orgasm hitting you without warning. Your clenched around his cock, your arms straining above your head as you came, words of approval spilling out of your mouth. Joel slowed his thrusts down, slowly fucking into you now as he grew closer to his own orgasm.

"So good." Joel whispered, pulling your legs to wrap around his waist as he came, pushing himself into you as far as he could, moving down so he could kiss you. After untying your hands and cleaning you up, you lay side by side. Similar thoughts running through your minds as the still environment around you calmed you down.

The new arrangement between you and Joel was noticeable, you were the main talk of the town. You now held his hand and kissed him in public, and apart from the overdramatic gagging that came from Tommy, no one had a problem with it.

One evening, you were sitting at Jackson's lively bar, waiting for Joel to meet you after his patrol. You were drinking your drink when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

"Mikey." You say, praying that you got his name right.

Mikey nodded, gesturing to the seat next to you, "Good to see you again. Could I sit?"

You slowly nod, watching him as he sat down, "You can until Joel gets here, just waiting for him."

"Yes, I'm kinda here to talk about him... And you," Mikey said, "You guys are dating, right?"

His question didn't surprise you, whilst no one seemed to care you were dating Joel, people still went out of their way to ask, usually a neutral expression on their face. A judgemental expression was instead plastered across the mans' across you, "Yep." You nod.

Mikey hummed, looking away for a moment. "Isn't he a bit old?

You smile, "Only a few years older than you and I. Don't really see the issue."

In a room full of people you really felt alone, you looked around, trying to find a face that was familiar enough to go to. Mikey hummed beside you, tapping his fingers against the wood for a few seconds. "Guess I'm just wondering why you chose him and not me. As in, did I do anything?

Your lips pull into a thin line, "It has nothing to do with you. Tommy set up that date not knowing that... I wasn't interested."

Just as Mikey was about to reply, a warm hand was placed on your shoulder, "Mikey." Joel greeted, squeezing your flesh gently. "Gonna go home, honey?'

"Yes, "You quickly say, taking Joel's hand as you stand up, "Bye, Mikey." With Joel hanging onto you, you quickly walk out the bar, mumbling under your breath as you navigate your way back to his house.

"What did he want?" Joel asked from behind you, pulling on your hand slightly in an attempt to slow down your fast paced strives.

You shake your head, "I didn't want to go on that date in the first place with him. Just wanted to get Tommy off my back."

Within a few minutes you were at his front steps, and you made your way inside, finally letting go of Joel's hand as you shrugged off your coat and boots. Then, you were being steered into the living room, where the embers of last nights fire were still glowing. "Was he botherin' you?" Joel asked, sitting down beside you on the couch.

You look over at him, his jeans straining against his thighs as he leant back against the soft material behind him. "Asked if we were dating," You start, "Asked why I chose you instead of him."

Joel nodded slowly, holding his gaze with yours, "And?" He asked, elaborating when you stayed quiet, "Why did you choose me instead of him?"

You started thinking about him; really thinking about the things that made him, him. Innocent thoughts at first, as simple as the crease in his forehead as he laughed, or the way he fiddled with his fingers when he was anxious. But naturally, you started thinking about the dirtier thoughts. The way his fingers curled inside you, how just one of his fingers were the equivalent to two of yours. How he moaned when you were taking him in your mouth. The thoughts had you tightening your thighs together, something he picked up on quickly.

"C'mere." He muttered, spreading his legs a little wider and angling his pelvis up slightly, patting his lap.

Your cheeks flushed pink, hesitantly kneeling up before you brought one of your legs over his furthest thigh. Impatient at your slow pace, Joel's large hands grabbed your hips and suddenly pulled you so you were sat flush against him, effectively straddling him. The contact alone felt heavenly, the feeling of his growing cock below your cunt. Your hands reach out to grab his broad shoulders, shifting up gently before moving back down on him.

“Yeah? You wanna ride my cock like this?” Joel asked gruffly, leaning up and wrapping his arms around your back. With this new angle, he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, pressing his lips against your soft skin gently. You moan, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access, all while starting to move your hips against him. 

“Want to feel you inside me.” You sighed, leaning your chest against his. Joel’s hands moved up and down your body, squeezing the flesh of your ass before coming to palm your clothed breasts, his lips leaving small kisses anywhere he could reach in his position. You lifted your hands, tugging your shirt off, soon followed by your bra.

You grinded against him, the rough material of his denim mixed with his hard cock hitting your clit with every thrust. Joel's hands moved to your hips, rocking you harder against him. He groaned into your ear, his hips moving upwards in their own accord. You sat up straight, leaning back onto his knees as he moved you.

Your orgasm was creeping up on you, your legs beginning to shake as you freely moaned, desperate to come. Then you were being pulled up away from him, your orgasm gone as quick as it had started, you groan in frustration, "Joel! What're you doing?"

He sat up and helped you stand up, undoeing your jeans, shoving them down your legs. You moved his hands away, taking off your own underwear as you watched you. "Please." You begged.

Joel looked at you calmly, pushing his jeans down to his ankles and pulling himself out of his boxers, gesturing for you to straddle him again. "Wanna see how long you can sit-" He gripped your hips and pulled you down, dragging his cock through your slick before pushing inside of you, "Still." He finished, allowing you to sit down on him as slow as you needed.

Once you were sitting down, completely filled with him, Joel squeezed your flesh, flexing his hips into you for a moment, "Don't move." He ordered, slapping the side of your thigh gently as he leant back, exhaling deeply. You looked at him unamused, resting your hands on your thighs. Joel smiled beneath you, opening his eyes slightly, "'S okay, baby. Doin' good." He praised you, moving his hands up your thighs, lingering on your hands for a second before moving up, and squeezing your breasts.

Joel slowly started moving, flexing his hips into you, the sensation almost becoming unbearable. Yet, you stayed still, instead choosing to clench around him, a wicked smile on your face. He groaned loudly, thrusting up into you roughly as he opened his eyes fully, shaking his head at you, "Little minx."

"Please." You beg again, despite everything, you continued to be still on top of him. Joel shifted, placing his feet square onto the ground and putting his hands under your ass before he started fucking up into you, setting an unforgiving pace instantly. The change from nothing to this, took you by surprise, and you reached out to grab his shoulders to balance yourself as Joel maneuvered you to meet his thrusts, bouncing you on his cock.

Given the fact that Joel had denied you an orgasm already, you were close to another in a record time, your thighs clenching around his. You were moaning in his ear as you came, your pussy clenching down on him. Joel followed soon after, pushing into you weakly, "Good girl." He groaned, rubbing your back gently. "That why you chose me?"

[joelmillergirl]

💘

Don’t Hate You- Joel Miller

An enemies to lovers story.

Word count: 3,298

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, one spank, rougher sex, slight degrading, oral (m receiving) hate sex, but they actually don’t have each other!

Author’s Note: Love a good enemies to lovers. I did not proofread because I was ashamed!! :D

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He was your neighbour; an interesting concept after 20 odd years of being alone with no sense of community. The apocalypse had torn through the world, separating friends from foe and dividing humanity into crushed pieces.

And then there was Jackson.

Jackson was small when you first showed up, bloody and beaten, tired of fighting. There were about 20 people at that time, all working hard to fix up the old town they had taken residence in. Maria had taken you in without any thought, allowing you to be someone after years of just living as another being, untrusting and rough, a shell of who you once were.

Five years later, you, along with the town, had blossomed. Buildings were now as new as they could be, with the resources the townspeople could find. Jackson had a bar, a laundrette, a clothes and a grocery store; things that had been hard to adjust to because your brain had been hardwired to live a certain way, were now able to just relax.

Slowly but surely, you were able to build yourself up into the personality you had before everything fell apart. A nicer, happier version of yourself. You knew everyone in town, always being greeted when you stepped out your door, they called you Honey.

“Sweet as honey, you are.” Eugene had said to you, an older man who had fought alongside Tommy in the fireflies.

The latter man scoffed, “Not to me, always teasin’ me, makin’ fun of me.”

You smile at him, “Chin up, Tommy. Someone has to keep that ego of yours in check.”

Every face in that town you could put a name to, until one day you couldn’t. Two new faces, one gruff with a frown, and the other smiley with her mouth constantly moving. You learned of their names; Joel, and Ellie. Before you could get the chance to introduce yourself, they had left.

“Where’s your brother? And the girl?” You hesitantly asked Tommy one day, raising the glass of whisky to your lips.

He shook his head once, downing his drink in one go, “Just needs to get something done. He’ll be back.”

Tommy's short reply had irked you more than it should have. Everyone in town was talking about the mystery man with his mystery kid; who were they? How long would they be away? You wish you knew the answer.

A few months later, you awoke to a distinctive voice; Tommy, yelling orders right outside your bedroom window. You tried to endure it for a while, a pillow placed over your head in an attempt to muffle the echo of his voice, but that proved to be a fail.

Thin cardigan around your body, fluffiest socks you could find, and a frown on your face, you move down the stairs in your house, muttering to yourself angrily. "Tommy!" You call out, gently closing your front door.

Tommy looked up with a guilty expression, "I'm sorry, I know-"

"It is the crack of dawn, you better have a good reason why I'm hearing your voice so early!" You finish, standing by the edge of your fence, arms crossed against your chest.

A third voice. A man stepping out of your neighbouring house. "Sorry, Ma'am, Tommy was just helpin' us settle in."

He was unapologetically handsome. Simply wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, with one expression plastered across his face at all times. Joel. You hated how at the sight of him, your arms unfolded from your body, hated how you couldn't really find yourself to be angry anymore.

You shift on your feet, cheeks flushing pink, "You're back."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, eyes moving between the two of you, "Honey, this is Joel, my brother, and your new neighbour."

Joel nodded in your direction, looking at you curiously. You shake your head softly, "Keep it down, Tommy." Your eyes move over to his brother, "Welcome to Jackson."

Then you were moving, back into the comfort of your own house where you slapped yourself in the face, embarrassment bubbling its way inside of you.

Two days later, you felt bad. Your bad impression with Joel replayed in your head endlessly, so bad that you had avoided going outside whenever you could hear voices next door. It was later when you knocked on their door, now in more appropriate clothes and with a clearer mind.

If he was shocked you were standing outside his door, he didn't show it, you spoke straight away. "I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I know you mustn't think too fondly of me." You give him your name along with a small smile.

Joel watched silently as you rambled an apology, only offering a small grunt and a nod of his head before closing the door in your face. You stood there for a moment, taking in what had just occurred. The rejection stung slightly, your inability to make amends with him weighing down on your shoulders. You hated how small that made you feel, hated how much you yearned for him to say something, just so you could hear his voice in that low, Southern drawl.

Tommy couldn't understand why your face soured whenever Joel's name was brought up, or why your fists clenched after watching his brother talk with other people. Why Joel seemed to talk to everyone except for you. Tommy sat in front of you in the booth at the bar, waiting for an opportunity to finally figure out what he had been suspecting. His eyes locked onto someone behind you and before you could ask, he was already calling out. “Joel! C'mere."

Your eyes widened slightly as you sat up straighter, kicking Tommy's leg under the table. You heard his boots stop next to you, his presence looming over the table you were leaning on. Tommy nodded his head slightly at you, "How're you guys gettin' along as neighbours? Haven't gotten any complaints yet, so must be goin' well."

Joel stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glancing over to you for a split second, "'S fine. Nice house you put me in."

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head with a smile, "Wasn't asking about the house, brother. You guys good?"

Joel looked down at you, eyes flickering down your face and to your hands that rest on the wooden table. “We’re good. She’s uh…” He paused, seemingly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “She’s a good neighbour.” He confirmed, suddenly looking everywhere but you and his brother.

Tommy smiled triumphantly, looking at you again. “Honey? He a good neighbour?”

You look at him unimpressed, feeling uncomfortable to be put in such a position, and furthermore the sight of Joel tapping his fingers against the table impatiently from the corner of your eye, made you feel angry. Unnecessarily so.

“Actually, Tommy, no. He’s not a good neighbour. He’s a dick. Always… slamming his gate when he gets back from night patrols.” You breathe out deeply, feeling the brothers’ gazes on you as you looked away. “I needa head back, I’ll see you Tommy.”

You hastily make your way out, “Oh god, why did I say that?” You whisper to yourself, embarrassment coursing through your body.

Three days after that incident , you had managed to avoid Joel like he was the plague; more than how you used to ignore him. His little girl, Ellie had approached you a few times, mocking your silence and asking why you didn't get along with the oldest Miller. You couldn't say that it was because how unnecessarily hot his accent was, or how he liked to wear tighter shirts that made your skin crawl with need, so you shrugged.

On the fourth day of ignoring Joel Miller, you had lost your streak.

It was later in the evening, everyone was either crowded in the dining hall, or in the comfort of their own homes, everyone but you. The winter coat you had on was not doing you justice, the freezing wind managing to slip through the small cracks, touching your skin. Although, you could barely call it a coat, material so worn and thin you would've been better in a long-sleeve shirt. You had been walking for a few minutes, nose pink, when you heard your name being called behind you.

"What the hell are you doin, wearing this in the middle of winter?" None other than Joel Miller scolded, grabbing you by the arm when he was close enough to. "You suicidal, woman?"

"Charming." You responded, trying so hard to ignore the warmth he provided by holding your arm. "Just walking, don't see the problem."

Joel scoffed, looking genuinely annoyed, "Don't see the pro-..." He trailed off for a moment, "You're going to freeze. And given our unpleasant history, I'll probably be blamed for your death."

Not waiting for a response, he started to pull you behind him, making a beeline for his house. You stuttered out, trying to object, "Joel, I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my house."

"Don't want you going back to your house. Need to talk with you." He shortly responded, ignoring your tugging. Once he had opened his door and you could feel the heat emitting from his house, you had settled slightly, but still shot Joel a glance as you entered.

"Go sit by the fire." He ordered, walking off into his kitchen, "Fuckin' hell." He mumbled.

You scowl at his back, debating with yourself for a second before deciding to follow his orders, sitting yourself down on the floor in front of the hot embers. You moan out in relief, shuffling a bit closer before turning your head to the side, watching Joel frown as he poured something in two mugs.

"Coffee." He grunted, walking over and placing the mug in your hands before sitting down on the chair next to you, sported with his own cup. "Drink it."

The mug helped you warm up faster, the heat reaching your fingertips and moving up your hands. "Prefer tea." You shortly respond, taking the drink up to your lips.

A moment of silence commenced before either of you talked again. Joel sighed deeply, and you saw from the corner of your eye his hand resting over his face, "Why're you so difficult?"

His words sunk into your brain. You scoffed, "I'm difficult?"

"Yes. You are."

You place the mug down beside you, looking into the flames for a moment. "I tried making amends with you, Joel. Tried being nice."

His silence fuelled your frustration. "Talking and smiling to everyone but me... Because I, what? I scolded your brother for being loud?" You continue, shaking your head.

Joel didn't talk, he didn't move. Only when he was sure you were finished talking did he speak. "You did try bein' nice... And uh... God, I hate this." He paused, taking a deep breath, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to be nice. To talk."

"What?" You asked, turning to look at him, "You didn't think it was a good idea? That makes no sense, Joel. If you just don't like me, say that, don't try making up all these excuses!"

His eyebrows furrowed, he too had abandoned his mug onto the side table next to him. "Not makin' any excuses."

You laugh shortly, "Okay, Joel. I'll leave you then, get outta your hair... Seeming as this,' You gesture to the both of you, "Is not a good idea."

As you stood, Joel quickly followed, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you from running. "I knew it would be a bad idea because the second I laid my eyes on you, you had me wrapped around your finger. Fuckin'," He took a breath, looking away from you for a moment, "Can't get you out of my head, you're everywhere."

"I don't..." You frown, looking up at him, your uneven breathing matching his, "I don't understand."

"I can't stay away from you, I can't do it anymore." He confessed, letting go of your shoulder, instead running his hands through his hair. "You don't even know what you do to me."

You watch him for a moment, trying to rationalise your feelings, "So, you... You act like a dick, and ignore me, shut doors in my face, and now I'm finding out it's because you can't stay away from me? That's so stupid!"

His neck was flushed, the pink hue travelling down to his chest, you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face. He looked borderline desperate now as he stepped closer, "Tell me to stop, I will. If... If you let me have you, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How did we go from hating each other to this?" You ask, eyes flickering over his face.

Joel shook his head gently, his hands moving up to touch your neck, fingers ghosting your skin. "Didn't really hate each other. Did we?"

"Hated you. You're arrogant." You whisper, taking off your thin jacket, a shirt on underneath.

"Keep goin'." He nodded, frowning at your choice in clothing.

His fingers moved on his own accord, moving down to the bottom of your shirt, tugging on it. "You slammed your door shut in my face." You continue, pulling the shirt off your body and throwing it on the floor.

"Like an ass." He agreed, his eyes taking in your upper half, hungrily staring at the bra you were wearing.

As if in a trance, you pulled your pants off yourself, "Just wanted to apologise to you for my bad impression." You tell him, now standing in your underwear in front oh his clothed self.

Joel nodded, his breath intaking as he looked at you, "Didn't care what you were sayin' that morning, baby. Comin'. out in that singlet of yours, tiny shorts. You thought that cardigan was gonna help ya? Was hopin' you'd yell at Tommy all day."

Your pussy clenched at his words, a gush of heat travelling upwards. "I was rude to you in the bar the other day... In front of Tommy." You confess, kneeling down in front of him, your face now in line with his growing bulge still restrained in his jeans.

"Yeah, baby." Joel agreed, "Had to listen to him lecture me for an hour." He reached down and moved your hair out of your face, looking deeply into your eyes.

His zipper was down before he could blink, quickly helping you pull down his pants, his boxers following soon after. His cock was big, bigger than you had expected it to be. Its red head was dripping with pre come, falling down the sides of him. Your hand experimentally wrapped around him, seeing how much you'd be able to take, only to find that your hand was not able to close properly.

"It's big, I know." Joel hummed, his cock twitching in your hands, "You can take it."

Your hands began moving after he spoke to you, making sure to squeeze down on him. His head fell back in pleasure, a groan releasing from his throat. After a few minutes of slowly jerking him off, you brought your head closer to his tip, carefully wrapping your lips around him. At the added pleasure, Joel looked down, letting out a whimper.

"Fuck, feel so good." He told you, scrunching his eyebrows together, "Look so good." He added, his hand coming down to hold your cheek.

With new profound confidence, you moved your head faster, making sure to match the speed with your hand. His moans grew louder, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair. "Alright, alright." Joel quickly said, pulling your head off his cock, now topped with the glisten of your saliva.

"Need it." You whisper, using his hand to help yourself up, tugging down your underwear before helping Joel out of his shirt. You look up at him expectedly, legs clenching together.

Joel looked down at the sight, mockingly sighing, "You wet, baby? Need me to take care of ya, huh?" He gently grabbed your hand pulling you behind him as he approached his couch. You watched as he sat down, spreading his legs widely, a sight that was truly sinful.

He gestured to his lap, and you took the hint. Climbing onto him, you didn't break eye contact, your chest pressed against his as you looked into his eyes. "Here." He whispered, reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, peeling it away from your body. "God, you're..." He sighed, leaning back against the couch as he stared at your breasts, "You're gorgeous."

"Still hate you." You mumble, leaning up with your hands on his shoulders. He gripped his cock from under you, dragging the tip across your clit and down your pussy.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at your face as he placed himself up near your entrance, your legs already shaking with need. Your arousal dripped down the side of his dick, fluids mixing together. "Doesn't feel like you hate me."

You shook your head, moving downwards gently, just far enough that the tip of him slipped inside you. You both groan. "I do hate you." You try and convince him, taking him further inside you with every second that passed. When your ass met his thighs, you moaned out loudly, tilting your head backwards. "Feel so deep."

Joel smiled lazily, pressing his hand against your abdomen, "Right up here. Go on, show me how much ya hate me. Fuck it all outta ya." He slurred, his accent becoming more pronounced the further he lost himself inside you. You started with small grinds, getting your body used to the intrusion first, shaky breaths and pants falling from your mouth as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair.

He helped you bounce after, his large hands on your ass, pulling you up and down on his dick, roughly meeting those movements with his own thrusts below. Once he was confident you had found your rhythm, he leant back, watching. "Still hate me?" He shakily asked, his hands moving from your breasts down to your clit, rubbing slow circles there.

"No." You cry out, moving your body forwards so you were laying on him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. "Please." You beg, although you weren't sure of what.

Joel wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as his hips drive faster up into you. The sounds of your skin colliding echoing through his house, aiding in the pleasure you were feeling. Joel grunted in your ear, one of his hands coming down onto your ass, slapping it. "Gonna cum, baby. Come on, need to feel it."

You lean up slightly, chest heaving against his. "So close." You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. The sensation of his hands roaming your body, the feeling of his cock pistoning up into you, and your own need for him fuelled your orgasm. Just as you started clenching around him, Joel moved his head up, catching your lips in a kiss before his own orgasm escaped him. You came together, legs shaking and breaths coming out hot as you kissed.

Somehow, the kiss felt more intense than the mind-blowing sex you had just had, the intimacy of it had your heart clenching. "Don't hate you." You sighed, pulling away from his lips. "Hated how you made me feel. Wanted you so bad."

He nodded. "I know, baby. Me too."

As they dressed themselves and sat with each other by the fire, discovering new emotions and sensations with one another the rest of Jackson had continued moving around them, acting like another day; though your life would now be irrevocably changed.

[joelmillergirl]

Thank you for reading. ❣️

Don’t Hate You- Joel Miller

An enemies to lovers story.

Word count: 3,298

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, one spank, rougher sex, slight degrading, oral (m receiving) hate sex, but they actually don’t have each other!

Author’s Note: Love a good enemies to lovers. I did not proofread because I was ashamed!! :D

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

He was your neighbour; an interesting concept after 20 odd years of being alone with no sense of community. The apocalypse had torn through the world, separating friends from foe and dividing humanity into crushed pieces.

And then there was Jackson.

Jackson was small when you first showed up, bloody and beaten, tired of fighting. There were about 20 people at that time, all working hard to fix up the old town they had taken residence in. Maria had taken you in without any thought, allowing you to be someone after years of just living as another being, untrusting and rough, a shell of who you once were.

Five years later, you, along with the town, had blossomed. Buildings were now as new as they could be, with the resources the townspeople could find. Jackson had a bar, a laundrette, a clothes and a grocery store; things that had been hard to adjust to because your brain had been hardwired to live a certain way, were now able to just relax.

Slowly but surely, you were able to build yourself up into the personality you had before everything fell apart. A nicer, happier version of yourself. You knew everyone in town, always being greeted when you stepped out your door, they called you Honey.

“Sweet as honey, you are.” Eugene had said to you, an older man who had fought alongside Tommy in the fireflies.

The latter man scoffed, “Not to me, always teasin’ me, makin’ fun of me.”

You smile at him, “Chin up, Tommy. Someone has to keep that ego of yours in check.”

Every face in that town you could put a name to, until one day you couldn’t. Two new faces, one gruff with a frown, and the other smiley with her mouth constantly moving. You learned of their names; Joel, and Ellie. Before you could get the chance to introduce yourself, they had left.

“Where’s your brother? And the girl?” You hesitantly asked Tommy one day, raising the glass of whisky to your lips.

He shook his head once, downing his drink in one go, “Just needs to get something done. He’ll be back.”

Tommy's short reply had irked you more than it should have. Everyone in town was talking about the mystery man with his mystery kid; who were they? How long would they be away? You wish you knew the answer.

A few months later, you awoke to a distinctive voice; Tommy, yelling orders right outside your bedroom window. You tried to endure it for a while, a pillow placed over your head in an attempt to muffle the echo of his voice, but that proved to be a fail.

Thin cardigan around your body, fluffiest socks you could find, and a frown on your face, you move down the stairs in your house, muttering to yourself angrily. "Tommy!" You call out, gently closing your front door.

Tommy looked up with a guilty expression, "I'm sorry, I know-"

"It is the crack of dawn, you better have a good reason why I'm hearing your voice so early!" You finish, standing by the edge of your fence, arms crossed against your chest.

A third voice. A man stepping out of your neighbouring house. "Sorry, Ma'am, Tommy was just helpin' us settle in."

He was unapologetically handsome. Simply wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, with one expression plastered across his face at all times. Joel. You hated how at the sight of him, your arms unfolded from your body, hated how you couldn't really find yourself to be angry anymore.

You shift on your feet, cheeks flushing pink, "You're back."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, eyes moving between the two of you, "Honey, this is Joel, my brother, and your new neighbour."

Joel nodded in your direction, looking at you curiously. You shake your head softly, "Keep it down, Tommy." Your eyes move over to his brother, "Welcome to Jackson."

Then you were moving, back into the comfort of your own house where you slapped yourself in the face, embarrassment bubbling its way inside of you.

Two days later, you felt bad. Your bad impression with Joel replayed in your head endlessly, so bad that you had avoided going outside whenever you could hear voices next door. It was later when you knocked on their door, now in more appropriate clothes and with a clearer mind.

If he was shocked you were standing outside his door, he didn't show it, you spoke straight away. "I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I know you mustn't think too fondly of me." You give him your name along with a small smile.

Joel watched silently as you rambled an apology, only offering a small grunt and a nod of his head before closing the door in your face. You stood there for a moment, taking in what had just occurred. The rejection stung slightly, your inability to make amends with him weighing down on your shoulders. You hated how small that made you feel, hated how much you yearned for him to say something, just so you could hear his voice in that low, Southern drawl.

Tommy couldn't understand why your face soured whenever Joel's name was brought up, or why your fists clenched after watching his brother talk with other people. Why Joel seemed to talk to everyone except for you. Tommy sat in front of you in the booth at the bar, waiting for an opportunity to finally figure out what he had been suspecting. His eyes locked onto someone behind you and before you could ask, he was already calling out. “Joel! C'mere."

Your eyes widened slightly as you sat up straighter, kicking Tommy's leg under the table. You heard his boots stop next to you, his presence looming over the table you were leaning on. Tommy nodded his head slightly at you, "How're you guys gettin' along as neighbours? Haven't gotten any complaints yet, so must be goin' well."

Joel stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glancing over to you for a split second, "'S fine. Nice house you put me in."

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head with a smile, "Wasn't asking about the house, brother. You guys good?"

Joel looked down at you, eyes flickering down your face and to your hands that rest on the wooden table. “We’re good. She’s uh…” He paused, seemingly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “She’s a good neighbour.” He confirmed, suddenly looking everywhere but you and his brother.

Tommy smiled triumphantly, looking at you again. “Honey? He a good neighbour?”

You look at him unimpressed, feeling uncomfortable to be put in such a position, and furthermore the sight of Joel tapping his fingers against the table impatiently from the corner of your eye, made you feel angry. Unnecessarily so.

“Actually, Tommy, no. He’s not a good neighbour. He’s a dick. Always… slamming his gate when he gets back from night patrols.” You breathe out deeply, feeling the brothers’ gazes on you as you looked away. “I needa head back, I’ll see you Tommy.”

You hastily make your way out, “Oh god, why did I say that?” You whisper to yourself, embarrassment coursing through your body.

Three days after that incident , you had managed to avoid Joel like he was the plague; more than how you used to ignore him. His little girl, Ellie had approached you a few times, mocking your silence and asking why you didn't get along with the oldest Miller. You couldn't say that it was because how unnecessarily hot his accent was, or how he liked to wear tighter shirts that made your skin crawl with need, so you shrugged.

On the fourth day of ignoring Joel Miller, you had lost your streak.

It was later in the evening, everyone was either crowded in the dining hall, or in the comfort of their own homes, everyone but you. The winter coat you had on was not doing you justice, the freezing wind managing to slip through the small cracks, touching your skin. Although, you could barely call it a coat, material so worn and thin you would've been better in a long-sleeve shirt. You had been walking for a few minutes, nose pink, when you heard your name being called behind you.

"What the hell are you doin, wearing this in the middle of winter?" None other than Joel Miller scolded, grabbing you by the arm when he was close enough to. "You suicidal, woman?"

"Charming." You responded, trying so hard to ignore the warmth he provided by holding your arm. "Just walking, don't see the problem."

Joel scoffed, looking genuinely annoyed, "Don't see the pro-..." He trailed off for a moment, "You're going to freeze. And given our unpleasant history, I'll probably be blamed for your death."

Not waiting for a response, he started to pull you behind him, making a beeline for his house. You stuttered out, trying to object, "Joel, I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my house."

"Don't want you going back to your house. Need to talk with you." He shortly responded, ignoring your tugging. Once he had opened his door and you could feel the heat emitting from his house, you had settled slightly, but still shot Joel a glance as you entered.

"Go sit by the fire." He ordered, walking off into his kitchen, "Fuckin' hell." He mumbled.

You scowl at his back, debating with yourself for a second before deciding to follow his orders, sitting yourself down on the floor in front of the hot embers. You moan out in relief, shuffling a bit closer before turning your head to the side, watching Joel frown as he poured something in two mugs.

"Coffee." He grunted, walking over and placing the mug in your hands before sitting down on the chair next to you, sported with his own cup. "Drink it."

The mug helped you warm up faster, the heat reaching your fingertips and moving up your hands. "Prefer tea." You shortly respond, taking the drink up to your lips.

A moment of silence commenced before either of you talked again. Joel sighed deeply, and you saw from the corner of your eye his hand resting over his face, "Why're you so difficult?"

His words sunk into your brain. You scoffed, "I'm difficult?"

"Yes. You are."

You place the mug down beside you, looking into the flames for a moment. "I tried making amends with you, Joel. Tried being nice."

His silence fuelled your frustration. "Talking and smiling to everyone but me... Because I, what? I scolded your brother for being loud?" You continue, shaking your head.

Joel didn't talk, he didn't move. Only when he was sure you were finished talking did he speak. "You did try bein' nice... And uh... God, I hate this." He paused, taking a deep breath, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to be nice. To talk."

"What?" You asked, turning to look at him, "You didn't think it was a good idea? That makes no sense, Joel. If you just don't like me, say that, don't try making up all these excuses!"

His eyebrows furrowed, he too had abandoned his mug onto the side table next to him. "Not makin' any excuses."

You laugh shortly, "Okay, Joel. I'll leave you then, get outta your hair... Seeming as this,' You gesture to the both of you, "Is not a good idea."

As you stood, Joel quickly followed, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you from running. "I knew it would be a bad idea because the second I laid my eyes on you, you had me wrapped around your finger. Fuckin'," He took a breath, looking away from you for a moment, "Can't get you out of my head, you're everywhere."

"I don't..." You frown, looking up at him, your uneven breathing matching his, "I don't understand."

"I can't stay away from you, I can't do it anymore." He confessed, letting go of your shoulder, instead running his hands through his hair. "You don't even know what you do to me."

You watch him for a moment, trying to rationalise your feelings, "So, you... You act like a dick, and ignore me, shut doors in my face, and now I'm finding out it's because you can't stay away from me? That's so stupid!"

His neck was flushed, the pink hue travelling down to his chest, you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face. He looked borderline desperate now as he stepped closer, "Tell me to stop, I will. If... If you let me have you, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How did we go from hating each other to this?" You ask, eyes flickering over his face.

Joel shook his head gently, his hands moving up to touch your neck, fingers ghosting your skin. "Didn't really hate each other. Did we?"

"Hated you. You're arrogant." You whisper, taking off your thin jacket, a shirt on underneath.

"Keep goin'." He nodded, frowning at your choice in clothing.

His fingers moved on his own accord, moving down to the bottom of your shirt, tugging on it. "You slammed your door shut in my face." You continue, pulling the shirt off your body and throwing it on the floor.

"Like an ass." He agreed, his eyes taking in your upper half, hungrily staring at the bra you were wearing.

As if in a trance, you pulled your pants off yourself, "Just wanted to apologise to you for my bad impression." You tell him, now standing in your underwear in front oh his clothed self.

Joel nodded, his breath intaking as he looked at you, "Didn't care what you were sayin' that morning, baby. Comin'. out in that singlet of yours, tiny shorts. You thought that cardigan was gonna help ya? Was hopin' you'd yell at Tommy all day."

Your pussy clenched at his words, a gush of heat travelling upwards. "I was rude to you in the bar the other day... In front of Tommy." You confess, kneeling down in front of him, your face now in line with his growing bulge still restrained in his jeans.

"Yeah, baby." Joel agreed, "Had to listen to him lecture me for an hour." He reached down and moved your hair out of your face, looking deeply into your eyes.

His zipper was down before he could blink, quickly helping you pull down his pants, his boxers following soon after. His cock was big, bigger than you had expected it to be. Its red head was dripping with pre come, falling down the sides of him. Your hand experimentally wrapped around him, seeing how much you'd be able to take, only to find that your hand was not able to close properly.

"It's big, I know." Joel hummed, his cock twitching in your hands, "You can take it."

Your hands began moving after he spoke to you, making sure to squeeze down on him. His head fell back in pleasure, a groan releasing from his throat. After a few minutes of slowly jerking him off, you brought your head closer to his tip, carefully wrapping your lips around him. At the added pleasure, Joel looked down, letting out a whimper.

"Fuck, feel so good." He told you, scrunching his eyebrows together, "Look so good." He added, his hand coming down to hold your cheek.

With new profound confidence, you moved your head faster, making sure to match the speed with your hand. His moans grew louder, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair. "Alright, alright." Joel quickly said, pulling your head off his cock, now topped with the glisten of your saliva.

"Need it." You whisper, using his hand to help yourself up, tugging down your underwear before helping Joel out of his shirt. You look up at him expectedly, legs clenching together.

Joel looked down at the sight, mockingly sighing, "You wet, baby? Need me to take care of ya, huh?" He gently grabbed your hand pulling you behind him as he approached his couch. You watched as he sat down, spreading his legs widely, a sight that was truly sinful.

He gestured to his lap, and you took the hint. Climbing onto him, you didn't break eye contact, your chest pressed against his as you looked into his eyes. "Here." He whispered, reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, peeling it away from your body. "God, you're..." He sighed, leaning back against the couch as he stared at your breasts, "You're gorgeous."

"Still hate you." You mumble, leaning up with your hands on his shoulders. He gripped his cock from under you, dragging the tip across your clit and down your pussy.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at your face as he placed himself up near your entrance, your legs already shaking with need. Your arousal dripped down the side of his dick, fluids mixing together. "Doesn't feel like you hate me."

You shook your head, moving downwards gently, just far enough that the tip of him slipped inside you. You both groan. "I do hate you." You try and convince him, taking him further inside you with every second that passed. When your ass met his thighs, you moaned out loudly, tilting your head backwards. "Feel so deep."

Joel smiled lazily, pressing his hand against your abdomen, "Right up here. Go on, show me how much ya hate me. Fuck it all outta ya." He slurred, his accent becoming more pronounced the further he lost himself inside you. You started with small grinds, getting your body used to the intrusion first, shaky breaths and pants falling from your mouth as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair.

He helped you bounce after, his large hands on your ass, pulling you up and down on his dick, roughly meeting those movements with his own thrusts below. Once he was confident you had found your rhythm, he leant back, watching. "Still hate me?" He shakily asked, his hands moving from your breasts down to your clit, rubbing slow circles there.

"No." You cry out, moving your body forwards so you were laying on him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. "Please." You beg, although you weren't sure of what.

Joel wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as his hips drive faster up into you. The sounds of your skin colliding echoing through his house, aiding in the pleasure you were feeling. Joel grunted in your ear, one of his hands coming down onto your ass, slapping it. "Gonna cum, baby. Come on, need to feel it."

You lean up slightly, chest heaving against his. "So close." You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. The sensation of his hands roaming your body, the feeling of his cock pistoning up into you, and your own need for him fuelled your orgasm. Just as you started clenching around him, Joel moved his head up, catching your lips in a kiss before his own orgasm escaped him. You came together, legs shaking and breaths coming out hot as you kissed.

Somehow, the kiss felt more intense than the mind-blowing sex you had just had, the intimacy of it had your heart clenching. "Don't hate you." You sighed, pulling away from his lips. "Hated how you made me feel. Wanted you so bad."

He nodded. "I know, baby. Me too."

As they dressed themselves and sat with each other by the fire, discovering new emotions and sensations with one another the rest of Jackson had continued moving around them, acting like another day; though your life would now be irrevocably changed.

[joelmillergirl]

Not a request, but seeing your username pop up in my notifs made me genuinely laugh. Bloody brilliant choice

Thank you, thank you. I think I fit in wonderfully with the rest of the outlandish usernames in the Joel Miller/Pedro Pascal universe.💅

[joelmillergirl]

Forbidden From You

Part 2: Illicit Arrangement

Word count: 3,193

Warnings: spanking (only a few times nothing extreme), p in v x2 (unprotected, please be safe!), rough sex, dirty talk, Joel is dominant, there's some degradation, possession (be safe), exhibitionism, they get caught, oral (f receiving).

Author's Note: Dudes, the forbidden love trope is the hottest thing I will ever read.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You never thought you'd get another chance at love. Not twenty years deep into the apocalypse, and especially not with Joel Miller. You had been there when Jackson had first started building itself up, standing alongside Tommy Miller, whom you had fought with as a Firefly for a few years. You were attached at the hip, only feeling truly safe when he was by your side. It was never anything more than platonic love, with Tommy acting more like your older brother than anything else.

When Joel Miller had arrived in Jackson one early morning, you knew you were destined to fall for him. With Tommy now off dating Maria, finally getting the life he had always talked about, you had been wandering around alone. You found yourself seeing Joel around more often, seemingly all alone. He was never with anyone else, always talking with someone for a brief moment before politely leaving the conversation. Lonely like you.

"I think you should get out more." Tommy casually mentioned once, dragging his arm over his girlfriend's shoulders. "Plenty of guys that'd be lucky to have ya."

"Where did that come from?" You question him, raising an eyebrow at him. You had tried dating before; only one guy ever came close to a second date. "No one is very interesting here."

Maria shrugged nonchalantly and said, "Joel's interesting. I know you're into the mysterious guys."

Tommy sat up, removing his arm. "No, no way. Anyone but Joel." He laughed, oblivious to the pink hue that spread from your nose to your cheeks. "What about Mikey?"

Mikey was the exact opposite of Joel; you cringed. "Think I'm happy being single." You spoke instead.

A few days later, you were sitting in Tommy and Maria's kitchen, drinking their scarce amount of coffee, when their front door opened, none other than Joel walked in, not yet noticing you. You awkwardly look down at the table, bringing your mug to your lips. When he did notice you, however, he paused.

Over the past few days, your run-ins with Joel had increased. It seemed as if you were running into him around every corner, always making eye contact with him. You never spoke to each other, never smiled. You only stared at each other for a few seconds before continuing on.

Tommy smiled next to you, gesturing for Joel to sit down. "Have you two met? Obviously, this is my brother, Joel." He mentioned, looking at you.

You stop drinking and put the mug down, looking up at Joel, who had slowly sat down in front of you. You offer him your name, "I work at the little daycare here."

Joel slowly nods, "Nice to meet you." His short response didn't shock you. After all, you had never seen him willingly interact with anyone but his brother.

Maria sent you a glance, looking at Joel for a second before looking back at you. Tommy, oblivious as usual, carried on talking to his brother, who seemed to look very uninterested. Throughout the half an hour you had been over there, you and Joel had looked at each other a hundred times. Only fleeting glances, the type where you looked straight away when you caught his eye.

When you were finally ready to leave, Tommy stopped you at the door and said, "Why don't you let Joel walk you home? You're on the same street, I think."

How hadn't you noticed? You hesitantly looked at Joel, who stared right back at you. You nod, "Okay. See you, Tommy." And you were off. The walk back was quiet, not uncomfortable, it seemed as if you shared the same harmony as Joel, not needing to say anything.

You hated how you were feeling as you walked alongside him. How you were feeling so worked up over nothing; a few glances between the two of you had you practically dripping through your underwear. "This is me." You break the silence, halting to a stop. You watch each other for a second before you speak again. "I have more coffee if you want to come inside."

Joel hesitated, looking away from you and up to your front door. "Yeah... Okay." He followed behind you as you made your way up your porch and you started feeling a little self conscious about the state of your house.

He was onto you the second you closed your door; the strength behind his kiss pushed you back onto the door, and he lifted his knee, pushing it between your legs. He nodded as your head flew back, your hips subconsciously grinding down against him. With your neck now exposed, Joel moved his head down, leaving a trail of messy kisses from your chin down to the middle of your neck, making sure not to leave any noticeable marks.

"Shouldn't be here." He muttered into your skin, "Not allowed." Contradicting his words, he stayed still with his knee still pressed against your clit, his mouth continuing its assault on your neck.

"Don't tell, then." You breathe out, using your nails to gently scrape across his scalp, tugging at some of his hair. He groaned out, his hands tightening on your waist, before moving up to grope your breasts.

A few minutes later, he had you bent over the kitchen table, your pants and underwear left at the bottom of your feet. Joel's belt scraped against your thighs with every hard thrust he delivered. The sounds of your skin colliding echoed through the room, alongside your loud moans. Your breasts moved against the cool counter every time his hips moved, the sensation of the temperature on your nipples becoming almost unbearably arousing.

"Fuckin' tight." He groaned, delivering a harsh slap on your ass before smoothing the skin out with his large, warm hand. The sweetness in his touches couldn't compare to the intensity of his fucking. It was hard, quick, and messy. Arousal spilled out of you and down the length of him, some managing to drip onto the floor. "You liked that, did you?" Joel asked, smacking your ass once more, analysing your reaction.

You moaned out louder, your head falling between your shoulders. You could just incoherently hear yourself repeating 'yes', over and over again. "I'm going to cum." He didn't say anything in response, instead, he pulled you up by your shoulders, using this added leverage to fuck into you harder. He pulled you back onto his cock with every thrust, his mouth right by your ear.

"Want you to come around my cock, make me feel it." Joel muttered, one of his arms moving to the front of your bare chest, holding you in place as his other arm moved down your body, his fingers brushing against your clit. "Makes it feel better, you being off-limits. Fuck, made me want ya even more." Joel rambled, using his fingers to slowly circle your clit, a jolt of electricity burned through your abdomen, and you were coming.

"Yes, yes." You whispered, your hands pathetically moving to the sides of the broad man behind you, gripping onto the sides of his shirt in an attempt to ground yourself. Your cunt tightened around his cock as you came, helping him reach his own orgasm. Suddenly, you feel empty, his body moving away from yours as spurts of his cum shot out onto the crack of your ass.

"Stay there." Joel muttered, pulling up his jeans. After securing his belt, he moved over to grab your kitchen rag, wetting it slightly before using it to clean up the mess.

When you turned around and put on the majority of your clothes, he was already heading to the door. You hesitated before speaking. "Please don't tell Tommy about this. Dunno why you would... but. He'd probably kill us both."

Joel slowly nodded, looking at you for a second before opening your door, "Just a quick fuck, won't tell anyone." He clarified, sending one last glance your way before heading outside, gently closing the door behind you.

You had assumed that would be the only time with him and that after a taste, your craving would be fulfilled. You couldn't be more wrong. Every time you saw him out after that night, your need refuelled for him. It didn't help seeing him be so polite and handy around Jackson.

Your guilt, on the other hand, was eating you alive. You could barely look Tommy in the eye anymore, knowing that you had gone and fucked the one person he hadn't approved of. It's not as if Tommy had any control over your decisions, it was the trust and strong bond you had with him that made him protective of you, and you respected that. You were protective of him as well.

Joel lasted a week before he was back at your doorstep, a pure look of desperation plastered on his face. "This can't happen again." He muttered, stepping away from you after fucking you on your couch. You had instantly agreed, thinking back to the suspicious glances Tommy had started to send your way when you were deep in thought about the way his brother would hold you and treat you.

A few days later, you were sitting in the Diner, face-to-face with a man whom Tommy had set you up with. He wasn't ugly; he let you talk about whatever you wanted, listened to you, and asked questions when it was appropriate; but he wasn't Joel. This man was kind- almost too kind- you knew that there wouldn't be any passion in a potential relationship.

Mike, or Mikey, was talking about his patrols when your gaze wondered off behind his head. Joel was standing by the entrance, his eyes already watching you when you looked over. It was very obvious what you were doing with Mikah, you were at a secluded table in the corner on a date. With a nod so subtle you questioned whether or not you had actually seen it, Joel was walking back outside, disappearing to the side of the building.

“I’m so sorry.” You interrupt Miles, standing up. “God, I’ve just forgotten. I need to finish something! This has been great… you’re great. But I need to go.” With a small smile, you left your date at the table, rushing off outside in the general direction you had seen Joel wander off in. As you were looking around for him, a hand shot out and grabbed you, taking you down the small alleyway next to the Diner.

Joel looked down at you, his left hand pressed against the wall by your head, “Why were you with Mikey?”

“Ah, that’s his name.” You mumble back, thinking back to the time Tommy had suggested you’d go out with him. “Your brother set us up.” You shrugged, daringly looking right back into his eyes. "He's kind of cute."

Joel chuckled dryly, tilting his head slightly, "Oh, yeah? Were you gonna take him home? Let him fuck you across the counter? On the couch? Wouldn't feel the same would it?" He questioned, bringing his right hand up to tilt your chin further up. "He wouldn't feel as good as I do, wouldn't he?"

You could do nothing else but shake your head, agreeing with his words. "You gonna let me eat your pretty pussy here? Let me have a taste?" Joel asked, leaning his head down to kiss your cheek gently, nuzzling your skin with his nose. Your head was nodding before you could realise it, and then he was already lowering himself to his knees.

The skirt you were wearing was lifted up over your thighs; you held it up for him, leaning your pelvis forward as your shoulders and head rested against the bricks behind you. Your panties were tugged from you and shoved to the bottom of your foot as Joel lifted one of your legs over his shoulder. His breath fanned your exposed pussy, tingles of nervousness and arousal shot through you.

"Gonna be quiet for me? Don't wanna get caught." Joel looked at you, watching as you slowly nodded your head. Once satisfied, he leant his head forward and made first contact with your clit. His tongue flicked out of his mouth, teasing your body as your eyes flickered shut, fighting off the need to shove his tongue right into you.

After a few teasingly slow licks, his whole mouth closed around your throbbing pussy, not giving you a moment to get used to the new sensation as he started taking. He ate you out like a starved man, slurping up all the juices that escaped the proximity of his mouth. You struggled to keep quiet, having to use your hand to silence your breathy moans.

You knew you weren't going to last long; with Joel moving his mouth against you like a professional and the risk of being caught, it had you on the edge of your orgasm pretty fast. Your leg shook against his head, your pelvis subconsciously lifting up to further take in Joel's movements. Knowing how close you were to coming, his tongue only sped up its pace, now inserting into your pussy as his nose tickled your clit. In just a few seconds, you came, tugging on Joel's hair and pushing him away from your oversensitive body.

Seeing Joel act jealous and possessive made you feel warmer; obviously, those feelings had to be coming from want or care. These questions and thoughts had you daydreaming all day, wondering whether or not Joel actually cared for you or if he just wanted to be the only man having sex with you. In usual Joel fashion, he had stayed clear of you the next few days after he'd eaten you out in public, his head always down.

Tommy sat on your couch, drinking from the glass of water you had given him. "So... I heard about your date. Mikey said you ran off during it? What happened?"

You exhale deeply, bringing your hand to your face. "I don't know, Tommy... Mikey is kind, but I just wasn't interested. I dunno what to say."

Tommy watched you for a moment; an awkward silence lingered through the air. "Is there someone else?"

"What?" You scoff, laughing gently. "No."

"That was the most suspicious answer you could've given me." He argued, sitting up straight. His foot gently colliding with the tool box he had brought over after his working day. "If there is someone, that's fine! I'll tell Mikey some lie, get him with someone else in Jackson."

You smile slightly, "Uh, yeah. That would be great... If you could tell him that," A small pause. "You should probably get home to your girl, Miller. Tell her I say hi."

Tommy nodded, taking his empty glass to your kitchen sink before heading out, sending you a final goodbye before he was off. You had just closed the door when someone started knocking at it. Quick, heavy knocks. You knew it was Joel before you opened it, and you started mentally preparing yourself to lecture him about ghosting you after fucking you.

You didn't get that far, however, for as soon as you opened the door, your lips were being devoured by his. "Been waiting fucking ages for him to leave." Joel muttered against your lips, backing you into your house and closing the front door with his foot.

"Why do you fuck me and then ignore me?" You asked him, ripping his belt out of his jeans before shoving them down. You jumped up onto the kitchen counter, wrapping your legs around him as he took off your dress, tugging your panties off your body after.

Joel practically growled out a response as he hungrily kissed your breasts, palming them with his large hands, "I keep trynna stay away. Tommy warned me not to touch you. Can't help myself."

"Please fuck me." You moan out, your head falling back as he pulled himself out of his boxers, already hard and dripping with pre-cum. His body fit between yours like a puzzle piece, his cock bobbing up to his stomach as he lifted a finger to your slick pussy.

"You wet enough for me?" Joel asked, smiling softly to himself at your breathless 'yes'. With your consent, he fisted his cock, jerking it off a few times before bringing it to your dripping entrance, easily slipping in. The feeling of him entering was a feeling you were sure you'd never get used to, his thick length stretching you out and reaching places that had never been touched before.

He started off slow, more so grinding into you than thrusting. He held eye contact with you, one hand on your waist and his other hand holding one of your legs to his hip. You moaned softly, lips parted as he moved down, his abdomen brushing against yours. With time, his thrusts got harder, his pace moving from loving to unforgiving. His balls hit your ass every time he fucked into you, his eyebrows furrowed with concentration.

Over the passionate sounds, you could just barely hear a knock on the front door, Tommy's voice soon calling out. Your eyes widened as you sat up further, your forehead gently colliding with Joel's. He shook his head at you, "Just ignore it. Focus on this."

Easier said than done.

Tommy's voice called out through the door once more, "I left my toolbox inside! Can I come in and get it?"

You panickily shouted back, "No! Uh, not right now!" You groaned in frustration, clinging onto Joel's biceps, his pace not once slowing down. "Fuck, Joel slow down." You whimpered, your legs tightening around his hips.

"Are you with someone right now? Is this the guy?' Tommy shouted back, knocking on the door again. Joel shook his head, mumbling something to himself before reaching down and fingering your clit, making you almost shout out.

You shoved your hand to your mouth for a few seconds, breathing in deeply before answering, "Please, Tommy- fuck- Come back later!" You could hear Tommy laughing on the other side of the door, clearly oblivious to what was actually happening.

When the door handle attempted to turn, Joel snapped, leaning back straight. "Go away, Tommy!" The silence outside was deafening, the realisation hitting the younger Miller like a ton of bricks.

"It's Joel? You're fucking my brother? Oh god!" Tommy yelled, his footsteps moving away from the door and down the steps of the porch. Your orgasm hit you out of no where, a loud moan slipping from your lips as your body fell limp, succumbing to the pleasure.

Joel's hips came to an uneven and unsteady pace, his cock pulsing inside of you as he stumbled to his release. Your legs weakened their grip around his body, expecting him to pull out, but you were shocked when he instead pulled your legs back into place, holding them tightly against him as he came inside you. His cum leaked out of you as he pulled away, a truly suggestive sight.

"Whoops." Joel muttered, gesturing to the front door where his younger brother had finally come to the realisation.

[joelmillergirl]

Amazing💫

Don’t Hate You- Joel Miller

An enemies to lovers story.

Word count: 3,298

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, one spank, rougher sex, slight degrading, oral (m receiving) hate sex, but they actually don’t have each other!

Author’s Note: Love a good enemies to lovers. I did not proofread because I was ashamed!! :D

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

He was your neighbour; an interesting concept after 20 odd years of being alone with no sense of community. The apocalypse had torn through the world, separating friends from foe and dividing humanity into crushed pieces.

And then there was Jackson.

Jackson was small when you first showed up, bloody and beaten, tired of fighting. There were about 20 people at that time, all working hard to fix up the old town they had taken residence in. Maria had taken you in without any thought, allowing you to be someone after years of just living as another being, untrusting and rough, a shell of who you once were.

Five years later, you, along with the town, had blossomed. Buildings were now as new as they could be, with the resources the townspeople could find. Jackson had a bar, a laundrette, a clothes and a grocery store; things that had been hard to adjust to because your brain had been hardwired to live a certain way, were now able to just relax.

Slowly but surely, you were able to build yourself up into the personality you had before everything fell apart. A nicer, happier version of yourself. You knew everyone in town, always being greeted when you stepped out your door, they called you Honey.

“Sweet as honey, you are.” Eugene had said to you, an older man who had fought alongside Tommy in the fireflies.

The latter man scoffed, “Not to me, always teasin’ me, makin’ fun of me.”

You smile at him, “Chin up, Tommy. Someone has to keep that ego of yours in check.”

Every face in that town you could put a name to, until one day you couldn’t. Two new faces, one gruff with a frown, and the other smiley with her mouth constantly moving. You learned of their names; Joel, and Ellie. Before you could get the chance to introduce yourself, they had left.

“Where’s your brother? And the girl?” You hesitantly asked Tommy one day, raising the glass of whisky to your lips.

He shook his head once, downing his drink in one go, “Just needs to get something done. He’ll be back.”

Tommy's short reply had irked you more than it should have. Everyone in town was talking about the mystery man with his mystery kid; who were they? How long would they be away? You wish you knew the answer.

A few months later, you awoke to a distinctive voice; Tommy, yelling orders right outside your bedroom window. You tried to endure it for a while, a pillow placed over your head in an attempt to muffle the echo of his voice, but that proved to be a fail.

Thin cardigan around your body, fluffiest socks you could find, and a frown on your face, you move down the stairs in your house, muttering to yourself angrily. "Tommy!" You call out, gently closing your front door.

Tommy looked up with a guilty expression, "I'm sorry, I know-"

"It is the crack of dawn, you better have a good reason why I'm hearing your voice so early!" You finish, standing by the edge of your fence, arms crossed against your chest.

A third voice. A man stepping out of your neighbouring house. "Sorry, Ma'am, Tommy was just helpin' us settle in."

He was unapologetically handsome. Simply wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, with one expression plastered across his face at all times. Joel. You hated how at the sight of him, your arms unfolded from your body, hated how you couldn't really find yourself to be angry anymore.

You shift on your feet, cheeks flushing pink, "You're back."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, eyes moving between the two of you, "Honey, this is Joel, my brother, and your new neighbour."

Joel nodded in your direction, looking at you curiously. You shake your head softly, "Keep it down, Tommy." Your eyes move over to his brother, "Welcome to Jackson."

Then you were moving, back into the comfort of your own house where you slapped yourself in the face, embarrassment bubbling its way inside of you.

Two days later, you felt bad. Your bad impression with Joel replayed in your head endlessly, so bad that you had avoided going outside whenever you could hear voices next door. It was later when you knocked on their door, now in more appropriate clothes and with a clearer mind.

If he was shocked you were standing outside his door, he didn't show it, you spoke straight away. "I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I know you mustn't think too fondly of me." You give him your name along with a small smile.

Joel watched silently as you rambled an apology, only offering a small grunt and a nod of his head before closing the door in your face. You stood there for a moment, taking in what had just occurred. The rejection stung slightly, your inability to make amends with him weighing down on your shoulders. You hated how small that made you feel, hated how much you yearned for him to say something, just so you could hear his voice in that low, Southern drawl.

Tommy couldn't understand why your face soured whenever Joel's name was brought up, or why your fists clenched after watching his brother talk with other people. Why Joel seemed to talk to everyone except for you. Tommy sat in front of you in the booth at the bar, waiting for an opportunity to finally figure out what he had been suspecting. His eyes locked onto someone behind you and before you could ask, he was already calling out. “Joel! C'mere."

Your eyes widened slightly as you sat up straighter, kicking Tommy's leg under the table. You heard his boots stop next to you, his presence looming over the table you were leaning on. Tommy nodded his head slightly at you, "How're you guys gettin' along as neighbours? Haven't gotten any complaints yet, so must be goin' well."

Joel stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glancing over to you for a split second, "'S fine. Nice house you put me in."

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head with a smile, "Wasn't asking about the house, brother. You guys good?"

Joel looked down at you, eyes flickering down your face and to your hands that rest on the wooden table. “We’re good. She’s uh…” He paused, seemingly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “She’s a good neighbour.” He confirmed, suddenly looking everywhere but you and his brother.

Tommy smiled triumphantly, looking at you again. “Honey? He a good neighbour?”

You look at him unimpressed, feeling uncomfortable to be put in such a position, and furthermore the sight of Joel tapping his fingers against the table impatiently from the corner of your eye, made you feel angry. Unnecessarily so.

“Actually, Tommy, no. He’s not a good neighbour. He’s a dick. Always… slamming his gate when he gets back from night patrols.” You breathe out deeply, feeling the brothers’ gazes on you as you looked away. “I needa head back, I’ll see you Tommy.”

You hastily make your way out, “Oh god, why did I say that?” You whisper to yourself, embarrassment coursing through your body.

Three days after that incident , you had managed to avoid Joel like he was the plague; more than how you used to ignore him. His little girl, Ellie had approached you a few times, mocking your silence and asking why you didn't get along with the oldest Miller. You couldn't say that it was because how unnecessarily hot his accent was, or how he liked to wear tighter shirts that made your skin crawl with need, so you shrugged.

On the fourth day of ignoring Joel Miller, you had lost your streak.

It was later in the evening, everyone was either crowded in the dining hall, or in the comfort of their own homes, everyone but you. The winter coat you had on was not doing you justice, the freezing wind managing to slip through the small cracks, touching your skin. Although, you could barely call it a coat, material so worn and thin you would've been better in a long-sleeve shirt. You had been walking for a few minutes, nose pink, when you heard your name being called behind you.

"What the hell are you doin, wearing this in the middle of winter?" None other than Joel Miller scolded, grabbing you by the arm when he was close enough to. "You suicidal, woman?"

"Charming." You responded, trying so hard to ignore the warmth he provided by holding your arm. "Just walking, don't see the problem."

Joel scoffed, looking genuinely annoyed, "Don't see the pro-..." He trailed off for a moment, "You're going to freeze. And given our unpleasant history, I'll probably be blamed for your death."

Not waiting for a response, he started to pull you behind him, making a beeline for his house. You stuttered out, trying to object, "Joel, I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my house."

"Don't want you going back to your house. Need to talk with you." He shortly responded, ignoring your tugging. Once he had opened his door and you could feel the heat emitting from his house, you had settled slightly, but still shot Joel a glance as you entered.

"Go sit by the fire." He ordered, walking off into his kitchen, "Fuckin' hell." He mumbled.

You scowl at his back, debating with yourself for a second before deciding to follow his orders, sitting yourself down on the floor in front of the hot embers. You moan out in relief, shuffling a bit closer before turning your head to the side, watching Joel frown as he poured something in two mugs.

"Coffee." He grunted, walking over and placing the mug in your hands before sitting down on the chair next to you, sported with his own cup. "Drink it."

The mug helped you warm up faster, the heat reaching your fingertips and moving up your hands. "Prefer tea." You shortly respond, taking the drink up to your lips.

A moment of silence commenced before either of you talked again. Joel sighed deeply, and you saw from the corner of your eye his hand resting over his face, "Why're you so difficult?"

His words sunk into your brain. You scoffed, "I'm difficult?"

"Yes. You are."

You place the mug down beside you, looking into the flames for a moment. "I tried making amends with you, Joel. Tried being nice."

His silence fuelled your frustration. "Talking and smiling to everyone but me... Because I, what? I scolded your brother for being loud?" You continue, shaking your head.

Joel didn't talk, he didn't move. Only when he was sure you were finished talking did he speak. "You did try bein' nice... And uh... God, I hate this." He paused, taking a deep breath, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to be nice. To talk."

"What?" You asked, turning to look at him, "You didn't think it was a good idea? That makes no sense, Joel. If you just don't like me, say that, don't try making up all these excuses!"

His eyebrows furrowed, he too had abandoned his mug onto the side table next to him. "Not makin' any excuses."

You laugh shortly, "Okay, Joel. I'll leave you then, get outta your hair... Seeming as this,' You gesture to the both of you, "Is not a good idea."

As you stood, Joel quickly followed, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you from running. "I knew it would be a bad idea because the second I laid my eyes on you, you had me wrapped around your finger. Fuckin'," He took a breath, looking away from you for a moment, "Can't get you out of my head, you're everywhere."

"I don't..." You frown, looking up at him, your uneven breathing matching his, "I don't understand."

"I can't stay away from you, I can't do it anymore." He confessed, letting go of your shoulder, instead running his hands through his hair. "You don't even know what you do to me."

You watch him for a moment, trying to rationalise your feelings, "So, you... You act like a dick, and ignore me, shut doors in my face, and now I'm finding out it's because you can't stay away from me? That's so stupid!"

His neck was flushed, the pink hue travelling down to his chest, you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face. He looked borderline desperate now as he stepped closer, "Tell me to stop, I will. If... If you let me have you, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How did we go from hating each other to this?" You ask, eyes flickering over his face.

Joel shook his head gently, his hands moving up to touch your neck, fingers ghosting your skin. "Didn't really hate each other. Did we?"

"Hated you. You're arrogant." You whisper, taking off your thin jacket, a shirt on underneath.

"Keep goin'." He nodded, frowning at your choice in clothing.

His fingers moved on his own accord, moving down to the bottom of your shirt, tugging on it. "You slammed your door shut in my face." You continue, pulling the shirt off your body and throwing it on the floor.

"Like an ass." He agreed, his eyes taking in your upper half, hungrily staring at the bra you were wearing.

As if in a trance, you pulled your pants off yourself, "Just wanted to apologise to you for my bad impression." You tell him, now standing in your underwear in front oh his clothed self.

Joel nodded, his breath intaking as he looked at you, "Didn't care what you were sayin' that morning, baby. Comin'. out in that singlet of yours, tiny shorts. You thought that cardigan was gonna help ya? Was hopin' you'd yell at Tommy all day."

Your pussy clenched at his words, a gush of heat travelling upwards. "I was rude to you in the bar the other day... In front of Tommy." You confess, kneeling down in front of him, your face now in line with his growing bulge still restrained in his jeans.

"Yeah, baby." Joel agreed, "Had to listen to him lecture me for an hour." He reached down and moved your hair out of your face, looking deeply into your eyes.

His zipper was down before he could blink, quickly helping you pull down his pants, his boxers following soon after. His cock was big, bigger than you had expected it to be. Its red head was dripping with pre come, falling down the sides of him. Your hand experimentally wrapped around him, seeing how much you'd be able to take, only to find that your hand was not able to close properly.

"It's big, I know." Joel hummed, his cock twitching in your hands, "You can take it."

Your hands began moving after he spoke to you, making sure to squeeze down on him. His head fell back in pleasure, a groan releasing from his throat. After a few minutes of slowly jerking him off, you brought your head closer to his tip, carefully wrapping your lips around him. At the added pleasure, Joel looked down, letting out a whimper.

"Fuck, feel so good." He told you, scrunching his eyebrows together, "Look so good." He added, his hand coming down to hold your cheek.

With new profound confidence, you moved your head faster, making sure to match the speed with your hand. His moans grew louder, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair. "Alright, alright." Joel quickly said, pulling your head off his cock, now topped with the glisten of your saliva.

"Need it." You whisper, using his hand to help yourself up, tugging down your underwear before helping Joel out of his shirt. You look up at him expectedly, legs clenching together.

Joel looked down at the sight, mockingly sighing, "You wet, baby? Need me to take care of ya, huh?" He gently grabbed your hand pulling you behind him as he approached his couch. You watched as he sat down, spreading his legs widely, a sight that was truly sinful.

He gestured to his lap, and you took the hint. Climbing onto him, you didn't break eye contact, your chest pressed against his as you looked into his eyes. "Here." He whispered, reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, peeling it away from your body. "God, you're..." He sighed, leaning back against the couch as he stared at your breasts, "You're gorgeous."

"Still hate you." You mumble, leaning up with your hands on his shoulders. He gripped his cock from under you, dragging the tip across your clit and down your pussy.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at your face as he placed himself up near your entrance, your legs already shaking with need. Your arousal dripped down the side of his dick, fluids mixing together. "Doesn't feel like you hate me."

You shook your head, moving downwards gently, just far enough that the tip of him slipped inside you. You both groan. "I do hate you." You try and convince him, taking him further inside you with every second that passed. When your ass met his thighs, you moaned out loudly, tilting your head backwards. "Feel so deep."

Joel smiled lazily, pressing his hand against your abdomen, "Right up here. Go on, show me how much ya hate me. Fuck it all outta ya." He slurred, his accent becoming more pronounced the further he lost himself inside you. You started with small grinds, getting your body used to the intrusion first, shaky breaths and pants falling from your mouth as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair.

He helped you bounce after, his large hands on your ass, pulling you up and down on his dick, roughly meeting those movements with his own thrusts below. Once he was confident you had found your rhythm, he leant back, watching. "Still hate me?" He shakily asked, his hands moving from your breasts down to your clit, rubbing slow circles there.

"No." You cry out, moving your body forwards so you were laying on him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. "Please." You beg, although you weren't sure of what.

Joel wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as his hips drive faster up into you. The sounds of your skin colliding echoing through his house, aiding in the pleasure you were feeling. Joel grunted in your ear, one of his hands coming down onto your ass, slapping it. "Gonna cum, baby. Come on, need to feel it."

You lean up slightly, chest heaving against his. "So close." You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. The sensation of his hands roaming your body, the feeling of his cock pistoning up into you, and your own need for him fuelled your orgasm. Just as you started clenching around him, Joel moved his head up, catching your lips in a kiss before his own orgasm escaped him. You came together, legs shaking and breaths coming out hot as you kissed.

Somehow, the kiss felt more intense than the mind-blowing sex you had just had, the intimacy of it had your heart clenching. "Don't hate you." You sighed, pulling away from his lips. "Hated how you made me feel. Wanted you so bad."

He nodded. "I know, baby. Me too."

As they dressed themselves and sat with each other by the fire, discovering new emotions and sensations with one another the rest of Jackson had continued moving around them, acting like another day; though your life would now be irrevocably changed.

[joelmillergirl]

Y'all are freakkkyyyyyyyy!!!

Don’t Hate You- Joel Miller

An enemies to lovers story.

Word count: 3,298

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, one spank, rougher sex, slight degrading, oral (m receiving) hate sex, but they actually don’t have each other!

Author’s Note: Love a good enemies to lovers. I did not proofread because I was ashamed!! :D

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

He was your neighbour; an interesting concept after 20 odd years of being alone with no sense of community. The apocalypse had torn through the world, separating friends from foe and dividing humanity into crushed pieces.

And then there was Jackson.

Jackson was small when you first showed up, bloody and beaten, tired of fighting. There were about 20 people at that time, all working hard to fix up the old town they had taken residence in. Maria had taken you in without any thought, allowing you to be someone after years of just living as another being, untrusting and rough, a shell of who you once were.

Five years later, you, along with the town, had blossomed. Buildings were now as new as they could be, with the resources the townspeople could find. Jackson had a bar, a laundrette, a clothes and a grocery store; things that had been hard to adjust to because your brain had been hardwired to live a certain way, were now able to just relax.

Slowly but surely, you were able to build yourself up into the personality you had before everything fell apart. A nicer, happier version of yourself. You knew everyone in town, always being greeted when you stepped out your door, they called you Honey.

“Sweet as honey, you are.” Eugene had said to you, an older man who had fought alongside Tommy in the fireflies.

The latter man scoffed, “Not to me, always teasin’ me, makin’ fun of me.”

You smile at him, “Chin up, Tommy. Someone has to keep that ego of yours in check.”

Every face in that town you could put a name to, until one day you couldn’t. Two new faces, one gruff with a frown, and the other smiley with her mouth constantly moving. You learned of their names; Joel, and Ellie. Before you could get the chance to introduce yourself, they had left.

“Where’s your brother? And the girl?” You hesitantly asked Tommy one day, raising the glass of whisky to your lips.

He shook his head once, downing his drink in one go, “Just needs to get something done. He’ll be back.”

Tommy's short reply had irked you more than it should have. Everyone in town was talking about the mystery man with his mystery kid; who were they? How long would they be away? You wish you knew the answer.

A few months later, you awoke to a distinctive voice; Tommy, yelling orders right outside your bedroom window. You tried to endure it for a while, a pillow placed over your head in an attempt to muffle the echo of his voice, but that proved to be a fail.

Thin cardigan around your body, fluffiest socks you could find, and a frown on your face, you move down the stairs in your house, muttering to yourself angrily. "Tommy!" You call out, gently closing your front door.

Tommy looked up with a guilty expression, "I'm sorry, I know-"

"It is the crack of dawn, you better have a good reason why I'm hearing your voice so early!" You finish, standing by the edge of your fence, arms crossed against your chest.

A third voice. A man stepping out of your neighbouring house. "Sorry, Ma'am, Tommy was just helpin' us settle in."

He was unapologetically handsome. Simply wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, with one expression plastered across his face at all times. Joel. You hated how at the sight of him, your arms unfolded from your body, hated how you couldn't really find yourself to be angry anymore.

You shift on your feet, cheeks flushing pink, "You're back."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, eyes moving between the two of you, "Honey, this is Joel, my brother, and your new neighbour."

Joel nodded in your direction, looking at you curiously. You shake your head softly, "Keep it down, Tommy." Your eyes move over to his brother, "Welcome to Jackson."

Then you were moving, back into the comfort of your own house where you slapped yourself in the face, embarrassment bubbling its way inside of you.

Two days later, you felt bad. Your bad impression with Joel replayed in your head endlessly, so bad that you had avoided going outside whenever you could hear voices next door. It was later when you knocked on their door, now in more appropriate clothes and with a clearer mind.

If he was shocked you were standing outside his door, he didn't show it, you spoke straight away. "I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I know you mustn't think too fondly of me." You give him your name along with a small smile.

Joel watched silently as you rambled an apology, only offering a small grunt and a nod of his head before closing the door in your face. You stood there for a moment, taking in what had just occurred. The rejection stung slightly, your inability to make amends with him weighing down on your shoulders. You hated how small that made you feel, hated how much you yearned for him to say something, just so you could hear his voice in that low, Southern drawl.

Tommy couldn't understand why your face soured whenever Joel's name was brought up, or why your fists clenched after watching his brother talk with other people. Why Joel seemed to talk to everyone except for you. Tommy sat in front of you in the booth at the bar, waiting for an opportunity to finally figure out what he had been suspecting. His eyes locked onto someone behind you and before you could ask, he was already calling out. “Joel! C'mere."

Your eyes widened slightly as you sat up straighter, kicking Tommy's leg under the table. You heard his boots stop next to you, his presence looming over the table you were leaning on. Tommy nodded his head slightly at you, "How're you guys gettin' along as neighbours? Haven't gotten any complaints yet, so must be goin' well."

Joel stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glancing over to you for a split second, "'S fine. Nice house you put me in."

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head with a smile, "Wasn't asking about the house, brother. You guys good?"

Joel looked down at you, eyes flickering down your face and to your hands that rest on the wooden table. “We’re good. She’s uh…” He paused, seemingly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “She’s a good neighbour.” He confirmed, suddenly looking everywhere but you and his brother.

Tommy smiled triumphantly, looking at you again. “Honey? He a good neighbour?”

You look at him unimpressed, feeling uncomfortable to be put in such a position, and furthermore the sight of Joel tapping his fingers against the table impatiently from the corner of your eye, made you feel angry. Unnecessarily so.

“Actually, Tommy, no. He’s not a good neighbour. He’s a dick. Always… slamming his gate when he gets back from night patrols.” You breathe out deeply, feeling the brothers’ gazes on you as you looked away. “I needa head back, I’ll see you Tommy.”

You hastily make your way out, “Oh god, why did I say that?” You whisper to yourself, embarrassment coursing through your body.

Three days after that incident who had managed to avoid Joel like he was the plague; more than how you used to ignore him. His little girl, Ellie had approached you a few times, mocking your silence and asking why you didn't get along with the oldest Miller. You couldn't say that it was because how unnecessarily hot his accent was, or how he liked to wear tighter shirts that made your skin crawl with need, so you shrugged.

On the fourth day of ignoring Joel Miller, you had lost your streak.

It was later in the evening, everyone was either crowded in the dining hall, or in the comfort of their own homes, everyone but you. The winter coat you had on was not doing you justice, the freezing wind managing to slip through the small cracks, touching your skin. Although, you could barely call it a coat, material so worn and thin you would've been better in a long-sleeve shirt. You had been walking for a few minutes, nose pink, when you heard your name being called behind you.

"What the hell are you doin, wearing this in the middle of winter?" None other than Joel Miller scolded, grabbing you by the arm when he was close enough to. "You suicidal, woman?"

"Charming." You responded, trying so hard to ignore the warmth he provided by holding your arm. "Just walking, don't see the problem."

Joel scoffed, looking genuinely annoyed, "Don't see the pro-..." He trailed off for a moment, "You're going to freeze. And given our unpleasant history, I'll probably be blamed for your death."

Not waiting for a response, he started to pull you behind him, making a beeline for his house. You stuttered out, trying to object, "Joel, I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my house."

"Don't want you going back to your house. Need to talk with you." He shortly responded, ignoring your tugging. Once he had opened his door and you could feel the heat emitting from his house, you had settled slightly, but still shot Joel a glance as you entered.

"Go sit by the fire." He ordered, walking off into his kitchen, "Fuckin' hell." He mumbled.

You scowl at his back, debating with yourself for a second before deciding to follow his orders, sitting yourself down on the floor in front of the hot embers. You moan out in relief, shuffling a bit closer before turning your head to the side, watching Joel frown as he poured something in two mugs.

"Coffee." He grunted, walking over and placing the mug in your hands before sitting down on the chair next to you, sported with his own cup. "Drink it."

The mug helped you warm up faster, the heat reaching your fingertips and moving up your hands. "Prefer tea." You shortly respond, taking the drink up to your lips.

A moment of silence commenced before either of you talked again. Joel sighed deeply, and you saw from the corner of your eye his hand resting over his face, "Why're you so difficult?"

His words sunk into your brain. You scoffed, "I'm difficult?"

"Yes. You are."

You place the mug down beside you, looking into the flames for a moment. "I tried making amends with you, Joel. Tried being nice."

His silence fuelled your frustration. "Talking and smiling to everyone but me... Because I, what? I scolded your brother for being loud?" You continue, shaking your head.

Joel didn't talk, he didn't move. Only when he was sure you were finished talking did he speak. "You did try bein' nice... And uh... God, I hate this." He paused, taking a deep breath, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to be nice. To talk."

"What?" You asked, turning to look at him, "You didn't think it was a good idea? That makes no sense, Joel. If you just don't like me, say that, don't try making up all these excuses!"

His eyebrows furrowed, he too had abandoned his mug onto the side table next to him. "Not makin' any excuses."

You laugh shortly, "Okay, Joel. I'll leave you then, get outta your hair... Seeming as this,' You gesture to the both of you, "Is not a good idea."

As you stood, Joel quickly followed, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you from running. "I knew it would be a bad idea because the second I laid my eyes on you, you had me wrapped around your finger. Fuckin'," He took a breath, looking away from you for a moment, "Can't get you out of my head, you're everywhere."

"I don't..." You frown, looking up at him, your uneven breathing matching his, "I don't understand."

"I can't stay away from you, I can't do it anymore." He confessed, letting go of your shoulder, instead running his hands through his hair. "You don't even know what you do to me."

You watch him for a moment, trying to rationalise your feelings, "So, you... You act like a dick, and ignore me, shut doors in my face, and now I'm finding out it's because you can't stay away from me? That's so stupid!"

His neck was flushed, the pink hue travelling down to his chest, you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face. He looked borderline desperate now as he stepped closer, "Tell me to stop, I will. If... If you let me have you, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How did we go from hating each other to this?" You ask, eyes flickering over his face.

Joel shook his head gently, his hands moving up to touch your neck, fingers ghosting your skin. "Didn't really hate each other. Did we?"

"Hated you. You're arrogant." You whisper, taking off your thin jacket, a shirt on underneath.

"Keep goin'." He nodded, frowning at your choice in clothing.

His fingers moved on his own accord, moving down to the bottom of your shirt, tugging on it. "You slammed your door shut in my face." You continue, pulling the shirt off your body and throwing it on the floor.

"Like an ass." He agreed, his eyes taking in your upper half, hungrily staring at the bra you were wearing.

As if in a trance, you pulled your pants off yourself, "Just wanted to apologise to you for my bad impression." You tell him, now standing in your underwear in front oh his clothed self.

Joel nodded, his breath intaking as he looked at you, "Didn't care what you were sayin' that morning, baby. Comin'. out in that singlet of yours, tiny shorts. You thought that cardigan was gonna help ya? Was hopin' you'd yell at Tommy all day."

Your pussy clenched at his words, a gush of heat travelling upwards. "I was rude to you in the bar the other day... In front of Tommy." You confess, kneeling down in front of him, your face now in line with his growing bulge still restrained in his jeans.

"Yeah, baby." Joel agreed, "Had to listen to him lecture me for an hour." He reached down and moved your hair out of your face, looking deeply into your eyes.

His zipper was down before he could blink, quickly helping you pull down his pants, his boxers following soon after. His cock was big, bigger than you had expected it to be. Its red head was dripping with pre come, falling down the sides of him. Your hand experimentally wrapped around him, seeing how much you'd be able to take, only to find that your hand was not able to close properly.

"It's big, I know." Joel hummed, his cock twitching in your hands, "You can take it."

Your hands began moving after he spoke to you, making sure to squeeze down on him. His head fell back in pleasure, a groan releasing from his throat. After a few minutes of slowly jerking him off, you brought your head closer to his tip, carefully wrapping your lips around him. At the added pleasure, Joel looked down, letting out a whimper.

"Fuck, feel so good." He told you, scrunching his eyebrows together, "Look so good." He added, his hand coming down to hold your cheek.

With new profound confidence, you moved your head faster, making sure to match the speed with your hand. His moans grew louder, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair. "Alright, alright." Joel quickly said, pulling your head off his cock, now topped with the glisten of your saliva.

"Need it." You whisper, using his hand to help yourself up, tugging down your underwear before helping Joel out of his shirt. You look up at him expectedly, legs clenching together.

Joel looked down at the sight, mockingly sighing, "You wet, baby? Need me to take care of ya, huh?" He gently grabbed your hand pulling you behind him as he approached his couch. You watched as he sat down, spreading his legs widely, a sight that was truly sinful.

He gestured to his lap, and you took the hint. Climbing onto him, you didn't break eye contact, your chest pressed against his as you looked into his eyes. "Here." He whispered, reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, peeling it away from your body. "God, you're..." He sighed, leaning back against the couch as he stared at your breasts, "You're gorgeous."

"Still hate you." You mumble, leaning up with your hands on his shoulders. He gripped his cock from under you, dragging the tip across your clit and down your pussy.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at your face as he placed himself up near your entrance, your legs already shaking with need. Your arousal dripped down the side of his dick, fluids mixing together. "Doesn't feel like you hate me."

You shook your head, moving downwards gently, just far enough that the tip of him slipped inside you. You both groan. "I do hate you." You try and convince him, taking him further inside you with every second that passed. When your ass met his thighs, you moaned out loudly, tilting your head backwards. "Feel so deep."

Joel smiled lazily, pressing his hand against your abdomen, "Right up here. Go on, show me how much ya hate me. Fuck it all outta ya." He slurred, his accent becoming more pronounced the further he lost himself inside you. You started with small grinds, getting your body used to the intrusion first, shaky breaths and pants falling from your mouth as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair.

He helped you bounce after, his large hands on your ass, pulling you up and down on his dick, roughly meeting those movements with his own thrusts below. Once he was confident you had found your rhythm, he leant back, watching. "Still hate me?" He shakily asked, his hands moving from your breasts down to your clit, rubbing slow circles there.

"No." You cry out, moving your body forwards so you were laying on him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. "Please." You beg, although you weren't sure of what.

Joel wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as his hips drive faster up into you. The sounds of your skin colliding echoing through his house, aiding in the pleasure you were feeling. Joel grunted in your ear, one of his hands coming down onto your ass, slapping it. "Gonna cum, baby. Come on, need to feel it."

You lean up slightly, chest heaving against his. "So close." You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. The sensation of his hands roaming your body, the feeling of his cock pistoning up into you, and your own need for him fuelled your orgasm. Just as you started clenching around him, Joel moved his head up, catching your lips in a kiss before his own orgasm escaped him. You came together, legs shaking and breaths coming out hot as you kissed.

Somehow, the kiss felt more intense than the mind-blowing sex you had just had, the intimacy of it had your heart clenching. "Don't hate you." You sighed, pulling away from his lips. "Hated how you made me feel. Wanted you so bad."

He nodded. "I know, baby. Me too."

As they dressed themselves and sat with each other by the fire, discovering new emotions and sensations with one another the rest of Jackson had continued moving around them, acting like another day; though your life would now be irrevocably changed.

[joelmillergirl]

Don’t Hate You- Joel Miller

An enemies to lovers story.

Word count: 3,298

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, one spank, rougher sex, slight degrading, oral (m receiving) hate sex, but they actually don’t hate each other!

Author’s Note: Love a good enemies to lovers. I did not proofread because I was ashamed!! :D

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He was your neighbour; an interesting concept after 20 odd years of being alone with no sense of community. The apocalypse had torn through the world, separating friends from foe and dividing humanity into crushed pieces.

And then there was Jackson.

Jackson was small when you first showed up, bloody and beaten, tired of fighting. There were about 20 people at that time, all working hard to fix up the old town they had taken residence in. Maria had taken you in without any thought, allowing you to be someone after years of just living as another being, untrusting and rough, a shell of who you once were.

Five years later, you, along with the town, had blossomed. Buildings were now as new as they could be, with the resources the townspeople could find. Jackson had a bar, a laundrette, a clothes and a grocery store; things that had been hard to adjust to because your brain had been hardwired to live a certain way, were now able to just relax.

Slowly but surely, you were able to build yourself up into the personality you had before everything fell apart. A nicer, happier version of yourself. You knew everyone in town, always being greeted when you stepped out your door, they called you Honey.

“Sweet as honey, you are.” Eugene had said to you, an older man who had fought alongside Tommy in the fireflies.

The latter man scoffed, “Not to me, always teasin’ me, makin’ fun of me.”

You smile at him, “Chin up, Tommy. Someone has to keep that ego of yours in check.”

Every face in that town you could put a name to, until one day you couldn’t. Two new faces, one gruff with a frown, and the other smiley with her mouth constantly moving. You learned of their names; Joel, and Ellie. Before you could get the chance to introduce yourself, they had left.

“Where’s your brother? And the girl?” You hesitantly asked Tommy one day, raising the glass of whisky to your lips.

He shook his head once, downing his drink in one go, “Just needs to get something done. He’ll be back.”

Tommy's short reply had irked you more than it should have. Everyone in town was talking about the mystery man with his mystery kid; who were they? How long would they be away? You wish you knew the answer.

A few months later, you awoke to a distinctive voice; Tommy, yelling orders right outside your bedroom window. You tried to endure it for a while, a pillow placed over your head in an attempt to muffle the echo of his voice, but that proved to be a fail.

Thin cardigan around your body, fluffiest socks you could find, and a frown on your face, you move down the stairs in your house, muttering to yourself angrily. "Tommy!" You call out, gently closing your front door.

Tommy looked up with a guilty expression, "I'm sorry, I know-"

"It is the crack of dawn, you better have a good reason why I'm hearing your voice so early!" You finish, standing by the edge of your fence, arms crossed against your chest.

A third voice. A man stepping out of your neighbouring house. "Sorry, Ma'am, Tommy was just helpin' us settle in."

He was unapologetically handsome. Simply wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, with one expression plastered across his face at all times. Joel. You hated how at the sight of him, your arms unfolded from your body, hated how you couldn't really find yourself to be angry anymore.

You shift on your feet, cheeks flushing pink, "You're back."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, eyes moving between the two of you, "Honey, this is Joel, my brother, and your new neighbour."

Joel nodded in your direction, looking at you curiously. You shake your head softly, "Keep it down, Tommy." Your eyes move over to his brother, "Welcome to Jackson."

Then you were moving, back into the comfort of your own house where you slapped yourself in the face, embarrassment bubbling its way inside of you.

Two days later, you felt bad. Your bad impression with Joel replayed in your head endlessly, so bad that you had avoided going outside whenever you could hear voices next door. It was later when you knocked on their door, now in more appropriate clothes and with a clearer mind.

If he was shocked you were standing outside his door, he didn't show it, you spoke straight away. "I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I know you mustn't think too fondly of me." You give him your name along with a small smile.

Joel watched silently as you rambled an apology, only offering a small grunt and a nod of his head before closing the door in your face. You stood there for a moment, taking in what had just occurred. The rejection stung slightly, your inability to make amends with him weighing down on your shoulders. You hated how small that made you feel, hated how much you yearned for him to say something, just so you could hear his voice in that low, Southern drawl.

Tommy couldn't understand why your face soured whenever Joel's name was brought up, or why your fists clenched after watching his brother talk with other people. Why Joel seemed to talk to everyone except for you. Tommy sat in front of you in the booth at the bar, waiting for an opportunity to finally figure out what he had been suspecting. His eyes locked onto someone behind you and before you could ask, he was already calling out. “Joel! C'mere."

Your eyes widened slightly as you sat up straighter, kicking Tommy's leg under the table. You heard his boots stop next to you, his presence looming over the table you were leaning on. Tommy nodded his head slightly at you, "How're you guys gettin' along as neighbours? Haven't gotten any complaints yet, so must be goin' well."

Joel stayed quiet for a moment, eyes glancing over to you for a split second, "'S fine. Nice house you put me in."

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head with a smile, "Wasn't asking about the house, brother. You guys good?"

Joel looked down at you, eyes flickering down your face and to your hands that rest on the wooden table. “We’re good. She’s uh…” He paused, seemingly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “She’s a good neighbour.” He confirmed, suddenly looking everywhere but you and his brother.

Tommy smiled triumphantly, looking at you again. “Honey? He a good neighbour?”

You look at him unimpressed, feeling uncomfortable to be put in such a position, and furthermore the sight of Joel tapping his fingers against the table impatiently from the corner of your eye, made you feel angry. Unnecessarily so.

“Actually, Tommy, no. He’s not a good neighbour. He’s a dick. Always… slamming his gate when he gets back from night patrols.” You breathe out deeply, feeling the brothers’ gazes on you as you looked away. “I needa head back, I’ll see you Tommy.”

You hastily make your way out, “Oh god, why did I say that?” You whisper to yourself, embarrassment coursing through your body.

Three days after that incident , you had managed to avoid Joel like he was the plague; more than how you used to ignore him. His little girl, Ellie had approached you a few times, mocking your silence and asking why you didn't get along with the oldest Miller. You couldn't say that it was because how unnecessarily hot his accent was, or how he liked to wear tighter shirts that made your skin crawl with need, so you shrugged.

On the fourth day of ignoring Joel Miller, you had lost your streak.

It was later in the evening, everyone was either crowded in the dining hall, or in the comfort of their own homes, everyone but you. The winter coat you had on was not doing you justice, the freezing wind managing to slip through the small cracks, touching your skin. Although, you could barely call it a coat, material so worn and thin you would've been better in a long-sleeve shirt. You had been walking for a few minutes, nose pink, when you heard your name being called behind you.

"What the hell are you doin, wearing this in the middle of winter?" None other than Joel Miller scolded, grabbing you by the arm when he was close enough to. "You suicidal, woman?"

"Charming." You responded, trying so hard to ignore the warmth he provided by holding your arm. "Just walking, don't see the problem."

Joel scoffed, looking genuinely annoyed, "Don't see the pro-..." He trailed off for a moment, "You're going to freeze. And given our unpleasant history, I'll probably be blamed for your death."

Not waiting for a response, he started to pull you behind him, making a beeline for his house. You stuttered out, trying to object, "Joel, I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my house."

"Don't want you going back to your house. Need to talk with you." He shortly responded, ignoring your tugging. Once he had opened his door and you could feel the heat emitting from his house, you had settled slightly, but still shot Joel a glance as you entered.

"Go sit by the fire." He ordered, walking off into his kitchen, "Fuckin' hell." He mumbled.

You scowl at his back, debating with yourself for a second before deciding to follow his orders, sitting yourself down on the floor in front of the hot embers. You moan out in relief, shuffling a bit closer before turning your head to the side, watching Joel frown as he poured something in two mugs.

"Coffee." He grunted, walking over and placing the mug in your hands before sitting down on the chair next to you, sported with his own cup. "Drink it."

The mug helped you warm up faster, the heat reaching your fingertips and moving up your hands. "Prefer tea." You shortly respond, taking the drink up to your lips.

A moment of silence commenced before either of you talked again. Joel sighed deeply, and you saw from the corner of your eye his hand resting over his face, "Why're you so difficult?"

His words sunk into your brain. You scoffed, "I'm difficult?"

"Yes. You are."

You place the mug down beside you, looking into the flames for a moment. "I tried making amends with you, Joel. Tried being nice."

His silence fuelled your frustration. "Talking and smiling to everyone but me... Because I, what? I scolded your brother for being loud?" You continue, shaking your head.

Joel didn't talk, he didn't move. Only when he was sure you were finished talking did he speak. "You did try bein' nice... And uh... God, I hate this." He paused, taking a deep breath, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to be nice. To talk."

"What?" You asked, turning to look at him, "You didn't think it was a good idea? That makes no sense, Joel. If you just don't like me, say that, don't try making up all these excuses!"

His eyebrows furrowed, he too had abandoned his mug onto the side table next to him. "Not makin' any excuses."

You laugh shortly, "Okay, Joel. I'll leave you then, get outta your hair... Seeming as this,' You gesture to the both of you, "Is not a good idea."

As you stood, Joel quickly followed, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you from running. "I knew it would be a bad idea because the second I laid my eyes on you, you had me wrapped around your finger. Fuckin'," He took a breath, looking away from you for a moment, "Can't get you out of my head, you're everywhere."

"I don't..." You frown, looking up at him, your uneven breathing matching his, "I don't understand."

"I can't stay away from you, I can't do it anymore." He confessed, letting go of your shoulder, instead running his hands through his hair. "You don't even know what you do to me."

You watch him for a moment, trying to rationalise your feelings, "So, you... You act like a dick, and ignore me, shut doors in my face, and now I'm finding out it's because you can't stay away from me? That's so stupid!"

His neck was flushed, the pink hue travelling down to his chest, you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face. He looked borderline desperate now as he stepped closer, "Tell me to stop, I will. If... If you let me have you, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How did we go from hating each other to this?" You ask, eyes flickering over his face.

Joel shook his head gently, his hands moving up to touch your neck, fingers ghosting your skin. "Didn't really hate each other. Did we?"

"Hated you. You're arrogant." You whisper, taking off your thin jacket, a shirt on underneath.

"Keep goin'." He nodded, frowning at your choice in clothing.

His fingers moved on his own accord, moving down to the bottom of your shirt, tugging on it. "You slammed your door shut in my face." You continue, pulling the shirt off your body and throwing it on the floor.

"Like an ass." He agreed, his eyes taking in your upper half, hungrily staring at the bra you were wearing.

As if in a trance, you pulled your pants off yourself, "Just wanted to apologise to you for my bad impression." You tell him, now standing in your underwear in front oh his clothed self.

Joel nodded, his breath intaking as he looked at you, "Didn't care what you were sayin' that morning, baby. Comin'. out in that singlet of yours, tiny shorts. You thought that cardigan was gonna help ya? Was hopin' you'd yell at Tommy all day."

Your pussy clenched at his words, a gush of heat travelling upwards. "I was rude to you in the bar the other day... In front of Tommy." You confess, kneeling down in front of him, your face now in line with his growing bulge still restrained in his jeans.

"Yeah, baby." Joel agreed, "Had to listen to him lecture me for an hour." He reached down and moved your hair out of your face, looking deeply into your eyes.

His zipper was down before he could blink, quickly helping you pull down his pants, his boxers following soon after. His cock was big, bigger than you had expected it to be. Its red head was dripping with pre come, falling down the sides of him. Your hand experimentally wrapped around him, seeing how much you'd be able to take, only to find that your hand was not able to close properly.

"It's big, I know." Joel hummed, his cock twitching in your hands, "You can take it."

Your hands began moving after he spoke to you, making sure to squeeze down on him. His head fell back in pleasure, a groan releasing from his throat. After a few minutes of slowly jerking him off, you brought your head closer to his tip, carefully wrapping your lips around him. At the added pleasure, Joel looked down, letting out a whimper.

"Fuck, feel so good." He told you, scrunching his eyebrows together, "Look so good." He added, his hand coming down to hold your cheek.

With new profound confidence, you moved your head faster, making sure to match the speed with your hand. His moans grew louder, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, fisting some of your hair. "Alright, alright." Joel quickly said, pulling your head off his cock, now topped with the glisten of your saliva.

"Need it." You whisper, using his hand to help yourself up, tugging down your underwear before helping Joel out of his shirt. You look up at him expectedly, legs clenching together.

Joel looked down at the sight, mockingly sighing, "You wet, baby? Need me to take care of ya, huh?" He gently grabbed your hand pulling you behind him as he approached his couch. You watched as he sat down, spreading his legs widely, a sight that was truly sinful.

He gestured to his lap, and you took the hint. Climbing onto him, you didn't break eye contact, your chest pressed against his as you looked into his eyes. "Here." He whispered, reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, peeling it away from your body. "God, you're..." He sighed, leaning back against the couch as he stared at your breasts, "You're gorgeous."

"Still hate you." You mumble, leaning up with your hands on his shoulders. He gripped his cock from under you, dragging the tip across your clit and down your pussy.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at your face as he placed himself up near your entrance, your legs already shaking with need. Your arousal dripped down the side of his dick, fluids mixing together. "Doesn't feel like you hate me."

You shook your head, moving downwards gently, just far enough that the tip of him slipped inside you. You both groan. "I do hate you." You try and convince him, taking him further inside you with every second that passed. When your ass met his thighs, you moaned out loudly, tilting your head backwards. "Feel so deep."

Joel smiled lazily, pressing his hand against your abdomen, "Right up here. Go on, show me how much ya hate me. Fuck it all outta ya." He slurred, his accent becoming more pronounced the further he lost himself inside you. You started with small grinds, getting your body used to the intrusion first, shaky breaths and pants falling from your mouth as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair.

He helped you bounce after, his large hands on your ass, pulling you up and down on his dick, roughly meeting those movements with his own thrusts below. Once he was confident you had found your rhythm, he leant back, watching. "Still hate me?" He shakily asked, his hands moving from your breasts down to your clit, rubbing slow circles there.

"No." You cry out, moving your body forwards so you were laying on him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. "Please." You beg, although you weren't sure of what.

Joel wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as his hips drive faster up into you. The sounds of your skin colliding echoing through his house, aiding in the pleasure you were feeling. Joel grunted in your ear, one of his hands coming down onto your ass, slapping it. "Gonna cum, baby. Come on, need to feel it."

You lean up slightly, chest heaving against his. "So close." You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. The sensation of his hands roaming your body, the feeling of his cock pistoning up into you, and your own need for him fuelled your orgasm. Just as you started clenching around him, Joel moved his head up, catching your lips in a kiss before his own orgasm escaped him. You came together, legs shaking and breaths coming out hot as you kissed.

Somehow, the kiss felt more intense than the mind-blowing sex you had just had, the intimacy of it had your heart clenching. "Don't hate you." You sighed, pulling away from his lips. "Hated how you made me feel. Wanted you so bad."

He nodded. "I know, baby. Me too."

As they dressed themselves and sat with each other by the fire, discovering new emotions and sensations with one another the rest of Jackson had continued moving around them, acting like another day; though your life would now be irrevocably changed.

[joelmillergirl]

Ghost of My Past- Joel Miller

The one where Joel dies.

Word count: 1,136

Warnings: old man Joel, he's getting older and a little weaker, major character death, grief, sadness, angst, legit a snippet of fuff, just missing Joel Miller hours

Author's Note: Sad gurl hours

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Jackson used to be bright. A place where you could go out and just be you; never having to worry about what other people were thinking. When you had first arrived, all you could think about was what they were thinking. You were weak, years of fighting infected and humans had taken a toll on you, dirt under your nails and eyebags that didn't seem to fade.

The only person you trusted was Joel Miller.

He had approached you one day during an embarrassing anxiety attack; the sorrowful memories from your past seemingly catching you by surprise. You were hunched over, struggling to breathe when a warm hand suddenly rested on your shoulder, catching you by surprise.

"Try and take some deep breaths." He'd simply said, awkwardly looking down at the ground before meeting your eyes. Admittedly, the warmth from his hands, and the way he'd so softy spoken to you had soothed you instantly. "Are you... Okay?' He asked after a few moments, feeling your shoulders untensing from underneath his palm.

"Sorry." You whisper, shaking your head. "Don't know why that happened." It was insecurity laced between your words. Here you were in a sealed-off community with food, houses, clothes, and good people surrounding you, and you were still anxious about being raided in your sleep.

Joel stiffly took his hand back to his side, mumbling something under his breath, "S'okay. Happens to me too. 'M Joel." He greeted.

You offer up your name, thanking him before going your separate ways. The day after that, you'd knocked on his door, presenting a freshly baked pie to him; 'For helping me.' You clarified when he looked at you with a mix of amusement and confusion.

He was surprisingly very easy to love. He drove you up the walls with his teasing and his small remarks, but he was kind and he treated you better than anyone else had. It didn't take long for you two to start dating, a night together after a few drinks had changed everything, and when he saw you interacting with Ellie, teaching her and loving her- he was gone.

Your favourite time of the day was your nights with him. After a few games of Monopoly with Ellie with buttons and rocks replacing the missing pieces, you'd crawl into bed together, your head resting on his chest. You loved it when he talked, feeling the vibration through his chest when he did. He talked about anything; patrols, his worries about Ellie, Sarah. You listened to every word, asked him questions- some he didn't always answer- and in return, you'd offer your own stories, your own memories.

Joel was always there, everywhere you looked. When you step outside on the newly built porch he'd worked on because of the one time you'd complained about a loose plank, the house down the street he'd built a swing for because of the little boy who'd cried when the old one broke, the words people would speak after his name was brought up in a conversation.

"Hi, baby." He'd whisper in your ear, his chest to your back as you prepared breakfast. He'd stand behind you for a while, admittedly getting in your way but warming you up with his body heat. You held him through the nights he broke down, frustration over Ellie refusing to talk to him, anger over his own abilities slowly weakening with his old age, and sadness when memories of his daughter hit him out of the blue.

'Love you s'much. Don't know what I did to ever deserve this. Don't deserve it."

You had your moments together where he'd spend his nights on the couch whilst you slept in your bed, despite your insisting that you take the couch instead, knowing his back was getting bad. He never said anything cruel to you during these moments of frustration- never raised his voice. He talked it through with you, kissed you after and apologised.

You didn't deserve Joel Miller.

The morning of his death had started rough. After he crawled into bed next to you, breaking down in your arms after talking to you about a conversation he'd just had with Ellie, he turned his back to you and silently went to sleep, your shirt slightly damp from his tears. When you woke up and started breakfast, he was in a rush. He mumbled a goodbye as he walked past the kitchen, on his way to the front gate for his patrol.

"No kiss today, Miller?" You called after him, feeling slightly frustrated with his distant demeanour. It wasn't rare for him to dissociate after breaking down; you sensed it was embarrassment, he thought he was weak. He stopped walking instantly, coming back to the kitchen and leaning down to kiss you. At the last second, you'd moved your head slightly, his lips connecting to your cheek instead. "See you later."

You turned away from him then, listening to the sound of nothing as he stood still for a few seconds before he finally moved, the front door closing gently behind him. You sighed in frustration, knocking back the mug of coffee you'd made for him in his owl cup Ellie made for his birthday a few years back.

You kissed his cold lips later that day, saying goodbye to him one last time before turning away from him, everything aching. When you stepped up onto the porch, you broke down instantly. A plank had started to squeak, who would fix it now? You made it inside after a few minutes, averting your eyes away from the stupid owl mug, his stupid chair he always sat in.

The bed was cold when you got into it. Flashes of Joel's face. Cold. Stuffing your face into the pillow, you breathe in deeply, taking in his scent that still lingered. To think that only a few hours earlier you were in this very bed, warm and close to him. Breathing.

Gone was the presence of Joel Miller. His ghost lingered through everything you looked at, everything you smelt. As you stand amidst the echoes of memories, each corner of Jackson a haunting melody of what once was, tears blur the lines between the past and present. In the stillness and darkness of your grief, you found some solace in the fragments of his love displayed throughout your home.

And as you sit on the porch stairs with Ellie, after hours of begging her not to leave, not to go after whoever had brought such immense pain amongst Jackson's residencies, you could feel yourself embracing the ache of his absence, finding strength in the beauty of a powerful journey. Accepting that you may never be the same, but still allowing yourself to carry his memory with you.

No one deserved Joel Miller.

[joelmillergirl]

Ghost of My Past- Joel Miller

The one where Joel dies.

Word count: 1,136

Warnings: old man Joel, he's getting older and a little weaker, major character death, grief, sadness, angst, legit a snippet of fuff, just missing Joel Miller hours

Author's Note: Sad gurl hours

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Jackson used to be bright. A place where you could go out and just be you; never having to worry about what other people were thinking. When you had first arrived, all you could think about was what they were thinking. You were weak, years of fighting infected and humans had taken a toll on you, dirt under your nails and eyebags that didn't seem to fade.

The only person you trusted was Joel Miller.

He had approached you one day during an embarrassing anxiety attack; the sorrowful memories from your past seemingly catching you by surprise. You were hunched over, struggling to breathe when a warm hand suddenly rested on your shoulder, catching you by surprise.

"Try and take some deep breaths." He'd simply said, awkwardly looking down at the ground before meeting your eyes. Admittedly, the warmth from his hands, and the way he'd so softy spoken to you had soothed you instantly. "Are you... Okay?' He asked after a few moments, feeling your shoulders untensing from underneath his palm.

"Sorry." You whisper, shaking your head. "Don't know why that happened." It was insecurity laced between your words. Here you were in a sealed-off community with food, houses, clothes, and good people surrounding you, and you were still anxious about being raided in your sleep.

Joel stiffly took his hand back to his side, mumbling something under his breath, "S'okay. Happens to me too. 'M Joel." He greeted.

You offer up your name, thanking him before going your separate ways. The day after that, you'd knocked on his door, presenting a freshly baked pie to him; 'For helping me.' You clarified when he looked at you with a mix of amusement and confusion.

He was surprisingly very easy to love. He drove you up the walls with his teasing and his small remarks, but he was kind and he treated you better than anyone else had. It didn't take long for you two to start dating, a night together after a few drinks had changed everything, and when he saw you interacting with Ellie, teaching her and loving her- he was gone.

Your favourite time of the day was your nights with him. After a few games of Monopoly with Ellie with buttons and rocks replacing the missing pieces, you'd crawl into bed together, your head resting on his chest. You loved it when he talked, feeling the vibration through his chest when he did. He talked about anything; patrols, his worries about Ellie, Sarah. You listened to every word, asked him questions- some he didn't always answer- and in return, you'd offer your own stories, your own memories.

Joel was always there, everywhere you looked. When you step outside on the newly built porch he'd worked on because of the one time you'd complained about a loose plank, the house down the street he'd built a swing for because of the little boy who'd cried when the old one broke, the words people would speak after his name was brought up in a conversation.

"Hi, baby." He'd whisper in your ear, his chest to your back as you prepared breakfast. He'd stand behind you for a while, admittedly getting in your way but warming you up with his body heat. You held him through the nights he broke down, frustration over Ellie refusing to talk to him, anger over his own abilities slowly weakening with his old age, and sadness when memories of his daughter hit him out of the blue.

'Love you s'much. Don't know what I did to ever deserve this. Don't deserve it."

You had your moments together where he'd spend his nights on the couch whilst you slept in your bed, despite your insisting that you take the couch instead, knowing his back was getting bad. He never said anything cruel to you during these moments of frustration- never raised his voice. He talked it through with you, kissed you after and apologised.

You didn't deserve Joel Miller.

The morning of his death had started rough. After he crawled into bed next to you, breaking down in your arms after talking to you about a conversation he'd just had with Ellie, he turned his back to you and silently went to sleep, your shirt slightly damp from his tears. When you woke up and started breakfast, he was in a rush. He mumbled a goodbye as he walked past the kitchen, on his way to the front gate for his patrol.

"No kiss today, Miller?" You called after him, feeling slightly frustrated with his distant demeanour. It wasn't rare for him to dissociate after breaking down; you sensed it was embarrassment, he thought he was weak. He stopped walking instantly, coming back to the kitchen and leaning down to kiss you. At the last second, you'd moved your head slightly, his lips connecting to your cheek instead. "See you later."

You turned away from him then, listening to the sound of nothing as he stood still for a few seconds before he finally moved, the front door closing gently behind him. You sighed in frustration, knocking back the mug of coffee you'd made for him in his owl cup Ellie made for his birthday a few years back.

You kissed his cold lips later that day, saying goodbye to him one last time before turning away from him, everything aching. When you stepped up onto the porch, you broke down instantly. A plank had started to squeak, who would fix it now? You made it inside after a few minutes, averting your eyes away from the stupid owl mug, his stupid chair he always sat in.

The bed was cold when you got into it. Flashes of Joel's face. Cold. Stuffing your face into the pillow, you breathe in deeply, taking in his scent that still lingered. To think that only a few hours earlier you were in this very bed, warm and close to him. Breathing.

Gone was the presence of Joel Miller. His ghost lingered through everything you looked at, everything you smelt. As you stand amidst the echoes of memories, each corner of Jackson a haunting melody of what once was, tears blur the lines between the past and present. In the stillness and darkness of your grief, you found some solace in the fragments of his love displayed throughout your home.

And as you sit on the porch stairs with Ellie, after hours of begging her not to leave, not to go after whoever had brought such immense pain amongst Jackson's residencies, you could feel yourself embracing the ache of his absence, finding strength in the beauty of a powerful journey. Accepting that you may never be the same, but still allowing yourself to carry his memory with you.

No one deserved Joel Miller.