john-loves-alex

[john-loves-alex]

Hamilton: How high are you?

Jefferson: *absolutely stoned* I’m not high, you’re just short.

[john-loves-alex]

Alexander: You’re having trouble throwing straight.

Laurens: I’m also having trouble being straight.

[john-loves-alex]

Hercules: Is that’s a hickey

Laurens: No, I got bitten by a shark!

Hercules: Wouldn’t a shark bite be bigger?

Laurens: It was a baby shark… like super small

Alexander: *walks into room* Hey Guys.

Hercules: Hi there baby shark.

[john-loves-alex]

Alexander: You just have to play the hand you’re dealt with. Washington? He’s an ace. John is my king up my sleeve. Hercules is my old maid. Eliza is my queen. Jefferson is the instruction card you throw away. Lafayette is a solid seven. Burr is probably, like, a two. And I’m obviously the joker.

Madison: What the fuck? Where the hell am I????

[john-loves-alex]

Alexander: What’s up with Jefferson? He’s been laying on the ground for like fifteen minutes.

Burr: He’s just a little overwhelmed.

Alexander: Why?

Burr: James giggled.

[john-loves-alex]

Straight men who always joke about hating their girlfriend are so fucking weird like imagine having a girlfriend and not treasuring and loving her every day smh grow up

[john-loves-alex]

reminder that being suicidal is a SERIOUS problem. i know this website has normalized the idea that having suicidal thoughts isn’t something that requires medical attention, but i promise it is and if you’re frequently having suicidal thoughts then it’s crucial for you to seek help.

[john-loves-alex]

reblog if you

- are gay

- are sad

- are crying over a tv show/movie/ship

- love pasta

no one will ever know which one

[john-loves-alex]

Laurens: Hercules, tell me exactly how long you’ve been with us.

Hercules: Three years, seven months, seventeen days and what, about two hours.

Alexander: And how long have you been in love with Lafayette, our favorite fighting french man?

Hercules: Three years, seven months, seventeen days and I’d say about an hour and thirty minutes.

Alexander: I thought as much.

[john-loves-alex]

Alexander: When I was small-

Jefferson/Madison: *snorts*

Jefferson: ‘Was’.

[john-loves-alex]

How I imagined it to be

[john-loves-alex]

AU where the dual roles in Hamilton are swapped

*Aaron Burr, Sir*

Laurens: What time is it? Show time!! Show time, show time yo-

My name is Philip

I am a poet

I wrote this poem just to show it

And I just turned nine

You can write rhymes but you can’t write mine!

Hamilton: He looks really old for a nine year old

Lafayette: France is following us to revolution

There is no more status quo

But the sun comes up and the world still spins

I help Lafayette draft a declaration

Then I said I’ve gotta go

I gotta be in Monticello

Now the work at home begins

So what'd I miss?

Hamilton: who tf is Lafayette?

Hercules: France.... *awkward silence* .... Which I wrote!

Hamilton: wtf

*Schuyler Sisters*

Angelica: Angelica

Eliza: Eliza

Peggy: Stay... hey...

*Cabinet Battle #1*

Washington: Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor sir

Jefferson: I'mtakingthesehorsesbythereinsmakingredcoatredderwithbloodstains-

Washington: wtf

*Say No To This*

Hamilton: Ms. Maria Reynolds walked into my life, she said

Maria: And Peggy

a few moments later

Hamilton: So I offered her a loan, I offered to walk her home, she said

Maria: Daddy said to be home by sundown

[john-loves-alex]

OMG They’re so precious!

Lyrics:

ANGELICA: My name is Angie, you wouldn’t know it Unless you listened to my brother, he’s a poet. Even tho, he’s older at the time, I can play piano better plus I can rhyme! Of course, I have a nervous breakdown when he dies! I play piano and everybody cries! A sister sibling seems pretty great When you find out our parents had 8! ALEX JR: I’m Alex Junior, I’m on a journey I grow up to be a famous attorney But revenge is a sweet final course I rep Aaron Burr’s second wife when they divorce! JAMES ALEXANDER: The name’s James Alexander, I’m a lawyer too! I had five kids like Tevye, with a boy or two! No time for relaxin, Cuz I’m secretary of state for Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson! JOHN CHURCH: Yo I’m John Church, I win the pennant! Fought the war of eighteen twelve, second lieutenant! And I’m the one who brought us glory! I kept my mother’s promise and I wrote Dad’s story! WILLIAM STEPHEN: Hey, the name’s William Stephen and I COLD CRUSH! I moved to California for the gold rush! I’m a screamer, I’m a shouter, I’m a hollerer! I died in Sacramento, most likely of CHOLERA! ELIZABETH HOLLY: My name’s Eliza Holly, please follow! You can see my tombstone in Sleepy Hollow! I lived with my mom while she was dying In DC. I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING! PHILIP HAMILTON The sun has gone To bed and so must I My name is Philip I’m the second try I am the youngest Child in our line Don’t worry I Will live a nice long time Goodbyyyyyyyyyye Goodbyyyyyyyyeee Goodbyyyyyyyyeee

[john-loves-alex]

If Von Steuben appeared in Hamilton...

I’m afraid I had to do this. I had to. Because von Steuben is fricking amazing, even if I don’t have a speck of LMM’s lyrical genius. And I used the backing track/melody of Will Smith’s Miami, because - like von Steuben - I could picture the Fresh Prince showing up in a horse-drawn carriage with bells on the mirror :D (I’m also amusing myself with the mental image of Andrew Chappelle chewing the scenery with this, because he would be fabulous)

My Army - Baron von Steuben

UhUh. Uh. Ja, ja, ja, ja. The army, uh, uh. Von Steuben workin’ the men. Can y'all feel that? Can y'all feel that? Check it out.

Here I am in the place they call Valley Forge, the Army so gross you might disgorge. This place is a shit-hole. Don’t you get in my way. You’re all gonna do what I say, ok?

So they look all confused, sittin’ down in their trench They don’t speak any German so I gotta speak French gotta wrench Greene and Hamilton off of the bench and translate my plans for gettin’ rid of the stench.

Y'all feel me All ages and classes, real sweet asses, we fight for one nation Polish, Dutch, French, Cajun, Black, White, you name it, we ragin’.

Gotta train ‘em before Britain comes rushin’ But I get it done quick, b'cause hey, I’m Prussian. Form ranks, get in line, where to piss, where to cook, ask around, they’ll tell you about the Blue Book.

[Chorus] Trainin’ with your bayonet and your gun Knowin’ when to fight and when to run Welcome to the army (Wilkommen in der Armee) We’ll sally in the valley in the winter sun, 'n when we’re ready, I’ll show you how a war is won. I’m gonna train the army. (Welcome to my army)

We start makin’ a dif'rence up at Stony Point and we put the British noses right outta joint: a raid led by Mad Anthony Wayne, and we gain the fort with the views of the plain.

Wayne got all my boys there climbin’ the walls, quiet with their muskets not cocked, no balls cause the General said to stay on the downlow, bayonets only, so no powder would blow and give us away. It was a shot in the dark, but GW’s a genius and right on the mark.

We came in fast, and got in right passed the British cannons raining hell down on our ass. The first of ours on the walls was de Fleury, but he wasn’t alone, you don’t gotta worry. They slipped right in under the cover of night, and the fort’s our own by the break of light.

My army.

[Chorus]

Don’t get me wrong, there’s more than war. Brought my Pierre and Louis and of course, Azor, and then an angel came in the shape of Ben. What can I say? I really have a thing for men.

We all party on down while we have the chance with one rule: your ass showin’ through your pants and just so we know how big balls you got drink this salamander down, straight up, it’s hot.

But some fun don’t change the fact we’re facin’ Britain. They’re global superpower and we should be shittin’, but we’ve got something that they don’t understand: all our passion and fire for a new homeland.

King George Three wants to keep these colonies. Ha! Me and my boys say “C'est de conneries” because his rules are shit and his taxes harsh and if he thinks we’re afraid, he can küss mein Arsch.

[john-loves-alex]

Summary of every song in Hamilton

Alexander Hamilton: hey this dude had like a fucked up childhood and he writes a whole fucking lot

Aaron Burr, Sir: yo alex burr doesn't really like you WAKE UP (oh and rapping friends yay)

My Shot: ham is smol but mighty

The Story of Tonight: friends who sing together die together

The Schuyler Sisters: AND PEGGY

Farmer Refuted: does anyone really know anything about this song?????

You'll Be Back: george is an anger

Right Hand Man: other george is also an anger

A Winter's Ball: the song where the front row gets eye-banged by lmm

Helpless: AS LONG AS IM ALIVE ELIZA SWEAR TO GOD YOULL NEVER FEEL SO

Satisfied: wedding regrets and hella rapping

The Story of Tonight - Reprise: burr: fashionably late and horny

Wait For It: oh no i now have feelings for burr

Stay Alive: valley forge: a very nice and not gross summary

Ten Duel Commandments: grown men fighting (and laurens trying to impress ham)

Meet Me Inside: "uh oh mom found out we were fighting and now im grounded"

That Would Be Enough: v sweet song about love

Guns and Ships: nobody but daveed can do this shit

History Has Its Eyes On You: g-wash has also fucked up once or twice in his life

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down): GOTTA START A NEW NATION GOTTA MEET MY SON

What Comes Next?: george is taking the breakup horribly

Dear Theodosia: fatherly feels

Non-Stop: lez go

What'd I Miss: hey this thomas guy is pretty cool

Cabinet Battle #1: hey this thomas guy is kinda a dick

Take A Break: just fucking take a vacation ham, jesus christ

Say No To This: you shouldve gone on that vacation ham...

The Room Where It Happens: burr is v salty

Schuyler Defeated: burr is still salty but now a senator

Cabinet Battle #2: "daddy's calling"

Washington On Your Side: hatred really brings people together

One Last Time: say bye bye to g-wash kids

I Know Him: f you john adams. love, george ❤️

The Adams Administration: nobody really likes ham anymore :/

We Know: "i wasnt spending the governments money illegally, i was just paying a man so that i could cheat on my wife with his wife"

Hurricane: hes gonna do something stupid, isnt he

Th Reynolds Pamphlet: DAMN

Burn: eliza, bby, you dont deserve this

Blow Us All Away: fuck george eaker

Stay Alive - Reprise: *loud sobbing*

It's Quiet Uptown: *louder sobbing*

The Election of 1800: "can we get back to politics" "please" "yo"

Your Obedient Servent: burr is salty again

Best of Wives and Best of Women: ?????????

The World Was Wide Enough: goodbye ham

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: eliza is the best

[john-loves-alex]

last night i saw hamilton and got to go backstage and so i talked to anthony!! he said he went to valley forge and visited the room where john would bump his head! he also called him "my boy laurens" once which i thought was cute. he talked about how when he first found the love letters he was like "bro no fuckin way" but now he purposely plays up every interaction between them. (i also got him to sign the shirt i got from u and i'll post pics later)

GOD BLESS ANTHONY RAMOS HE TRULY IS A GIFT TO THIS WORLD

ALSO I KNEW THIS SHOW WAS GETTING GAYER AND I’M GLAD TO HAVE CONFIRMATION OF THIS FACT STRAIGHT FROM JOHN LAURENS HIMSELF

But really that’s so amazing!  And I love the “my boy Laurens” thing.  Very adorable.  And how did you get to go backstage?  That’s so cool!  I’m glad you had a good experience!

[john-loves-alex]

What are the inaccuracies in Hamilton? Sorry I don't know much history .

1. It is unclear when Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr met- they bought in the Battle of Brooklyn together, were Aide de Comps in Valley Forge together. But there is no evidence to support that they both met in 1776. 

2. Alexander Hamilton never punched the bursar. 

3. It was actually Hercules Mulligan who gave Alexander Hamilton the idea to support the American cause but that was while he started going to Kings College in 1773. The American continental army wasn’t even established until 1775 and Alexander Hamilton was at College of New Jersey in 1773. 

4. It wasn’t even called Princeton university in 1776, it was called College of New Jersey. College of New Jersey was renamed Princeton University in 1896. 

5. Funny how Aaron Burr says, “Talk less” because he actually talked nonstop. 

6. Alexander Hamilton didn’t meet John Laurens till 1777. 

7. Alexander Hamilton didn’t meet Gilbert de Lafayette till 1777- Lafayette wasn’t even in America 1776. 

8. Sam Adams beer wasn’t founded till 1984. 

9. Hercules Mulligan was not an abolitionist in 1776- he owned a slave named Cato. 

10. Peggy’s name is Margarita. But, at the time Peggy was short for Margarita! Just like Patsy was short for Martha. 

11. At the time Alexander Hamilton met Elizabeth Schuyler, Aaron Burr was not with him. 

12. Alexander Hamilton wasn’t as into Elizabeth Schuyler as it seems in Helpless. He even wrote a letter to John Laurens saying he was meh about the marriage. 

13. At the time of meeting Alexander Hamilton, Angelica Schuyler was actually already married- to John Barker Church. 

14. It is not proven that Angelica Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton were romantically involved. Although, in their letters to one another they have romantic language which has brought out speculation into whether or not they had an affair. 

15. “My Father has no sons” is untrue, Philip Schuyler had 5(+?) sons in 1780. 

16. In 1780, after Alexander’s marriage- during the Story of Tonight- John Laurens was at the same place as Alexander Hamilton and neither was Hercules Mulligan. 

17. Even though Stay Alive comes after Helpless- Helpless takes place in 1780 and the Battle of Monmouth (sang about in Stay Alive), takes place in 1778. 

18. Aaron Burr did not second for Charles Lee. Major Edwards did. 

19. Washington never send Hamilton home. 

20. Philip Hamilton was born in 1782. 

21. Theodosia Burr was born in 1783. 

22. Alexander Hamilton gave no such invitation to Aaron Burr to author the Federalist Papers with him. 

23. Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton’s first year in the cabinet together was actually more peaceful than displayed. Thomas Jefferson even invited Alexander Hamilton to dinner on many occasions. 

24. Thomas Jefferson wasn’t “getting high with the French” he didn’t even go to France until after the war in 1784. 

25. If Philip is nine in “Take a Break” then the year must be 1791. “I have a sister but I want a little brother” is incorrect- Philip did have a sisters at the time but at the time he also had two younger brothers. 

26. Angelica wasn’t visiting America in 1791. While living in Europe, the only visit she made to America was in 1789 for Washington’s inauguration. 

27. Alexander Hamilton met Maria Reynolds while he was in Philadelphia.

28. Aaron Burr was on the Republican side from the beginning. He never changed parties. 

29. Alexander Hamilton never considered Aaron Burr a friend. 

30. It was actually James Monroe and Frederick Muhlenburg who confronted Alexander Hamilton about his affair with Maria Reynolds. 

31. It took Philip Hamilton fourteen hours to die. 

32. Alexander counseled Philip before the duel to raise his gun towards the sky. The reason Eacker wasn’t put on trial for murdering someone in the duel who had raised their gun towards their sky as a surrender- it was when Eacker shot Philip that the hand Philip had on his gun caused him to fire out of shock of being shot. 

33. Jefferson wasn’t trying to get Hamilton on his side for the election and Federalists weren’t relying on Hamilton for their vote. 

34. Burr was not Alexander’s first friend. 

35. “I was too young and blind to see”- no Aaron Burr at the time of the duel was 47. 

36. I mean’t to say this before but when Burr says “Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?” and Hamilton agrees- it’s funny because Hamilton does almost get into a lot of duels in his life. The one he actually does get into kills him though. 

37. Philip Hamilton is killed in a duel in 1801 yet, the election of 1800 happens after Philip is killed. 

38. In Take a Break, Peggy is not in the song. Funny because Take a Break happens in 1791- Peggy Schuyler dies in 1801- at the time of Take a Break, Peggy was well and alive and living in Upstate New York. 

39. Alexander Hamilton actually fired his gun above Aaron Burr and it hit a tree above his head.

(This is all I can think of.)