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[johngayboi]

Random Founding Father Facts

for your day,

my favorite historical events i can right now remember

•james madison referred to thomas Jefferson as “his Jefferson”

•george washington legit stopped the battle of germantown because general howe (the british) had lost his dog and george wanted to return it

•In real life in Madison’s later years he went terribly crazy. He was obsessed with protecting his history and even forged Jefferson’s handwriting and signature way after his death. He had terrible anxiety and basically lost his mind to stress #ProtectLittleJemmy2k18

•james madison’s doctor asked james if he wanted to stay alive until july 4th. james said no, and died on june 28th

•Jefferson was incredibly shy

•most historians believe he had social anxiety

•he had a crush on his friend Rebecca but could never talk to her. and then one day he prepared this long ass speech to tell her and when he went up to her he just said “we could get married one day” and then she never talked to him again lol rip

•also T Jeffs tried impressing a girl one time by jumping over a fence in France and ended up breaking his wrist.

•George Washington wouldn’t let anybody hug him except marquis de lafayETTE.

•at valley forge lafayette laurens and hamilton would push their beds together and sleep on the grass talking about politics all night long i love my sons

•Aaron Burr had to ban snacks on the senate floor as VP under Jefferson

•Thomas would only serve mac & cheese at his dinner parties and all the other founders thought it was disgusting.

•Alexander Hamilton thought he would never live down his illegitimacy and when he was a kid he pretended his parents were married. he was suicidal most of his life (“I’m not fit for this terrestrial country”) (“I wish nothing greater than to brilliantly leave this world”), and some historians believe it is why he didn’t shoot at Aaron Burr during their duel.

•Aaron Burr thought he would never live up to his parent’s legacy and everyone’s expectations of him. he was also suicidal for some time of his life and some historians believe he was depressed.

•Thomas Jefferson had very low self esteem and couldn’t talk in public

•Seriously, at Jefferson’s inauguration he read a speech and he spoke so softly nobody could hear him. they had to read it in the newspapers the next day.

[johngayboi]

random founding father facts

the sequel

more irrelevant of my favorite founding father stories

•James Madison’s wife Dolley could carry James on her back aw

•John Adams accidentally sent congress his *very detailed* diary and they stopped everything to read it out loud and laugh at him

•james madison was very suicidal and would often tell people he wished he were dead

•james madison had epileptic seizures where he would stare off into the distance for a short while

•james madison was a hypochondriac and had severe anxiety

•james wasn’t allowed to enter the military because everyone thought he was too fragile

•everyone called madison “little jemmy”

•alexander hamilton and james madison were really good friends after writing the federalist papers. it’s funny tho because alexander hamilton would dress in these bright colors and jemmy would always dress in all black

•apparently they would run around the city like besties ok I’m sorry i just love madison and hamilton so much

•one lady remembered them playing with a monkey they found and hamilton was kinda like “james look” and madison was like “nO1!11!1! germs alex wE TALKED ABOUT THIS” i just love them

•also madison was always telling washington about how alexander was such an overachiever and how awesome hamilton was they were besties for like 2 months

•and then madison became best friends with jaMES FUCKING MONROE AND THOMAS JEFFERSON and basically skipped out on hamilton aw because “yOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IF YOU ARE GONNA BE FRIENDS WITH ME1!1!“

•this country was founded by eight graders i swear to god

•washington was a very calm person who would yell at people for cursing, but after Charles Lee called a retreat at monmouth Washington started yelling at him and cursed him off the field like omfg chill george

•also after the battle of monmouth, lafayette and washington sat under a tree together talking shit about charles lee. then they fell asleep wrapped in Washington’s coat  

•Lafayette was like a son to Washington, and since Laf was an orphan he just embraced it???? Literally G.Wash would call him son in public.

•He called Hamilton “my boy”, but Hamilton didn’t want to be emotionally dependent on anybody. He thought that if he loved anybody they would all eventually leave him.

•thomas jefferson liked to collect prehistoric artifacts so people made fun of him and called him “mr. mammoth”

•thomas jefferson had 0 sense of fashion he literally did not give a fuck. he literally tells people this in his letters he was above trends

•he (t. jeffs) would wear a green coat with red pants like it was christmas. also he never wore a wig or powdered his hair he wAS AN ORIGINAL

•Hamilton referred to John Laurens (his boyfriend ;))))) as “my dear J” and also my love okay that shit is not straight and i love that too much 

•When John André was caught a spy, Hamilton got really upset and thought Andre was too hot to be killed. I’m not even kidding. Half the basis of his argument for John Andre was that he was pretty and “respectable.”

•In a letter to Laurens, Hamilton is joking about having laurens find him a wife, and is asking Laurens to describe him for the ladies. And then he says “Don’t forget to do justice as to the length of my nose.

nose

is

18th

century

slang

for

dick.

•Thomas jefferson couldn’t talk in public; He was a prolific writer, but couldn’t say anything in front of a group without becoming very nervous.

• John Adams had a dog named Satan in the white house

•Jefferson had a sheep he named “This abominable animal”, and it attacked multiple people on the White House lawn. I’m pretty sure it killed somebody???????? I can’t attest to that statement, though.

•Thomas Jefferson kept his bed in his hallway between his study and living room. He was 6 foot 3, and literally had to curl up when sleeping because his hallway was shorter than he was.

•What the fuck was wrong with Thomas Jefferson, honestly

[johngayboi]

That’s so amazing

For the first time in the show’s history, all four Tony Awards for performances in musicals were won by black actors.

[johngayboi]

In the office

Hamilton: I do love working here, it’s just, we all have a lot of laughs

Hamilton: Fuck off Jefferson, I’m not going to your fucking baby shower

[johngayboi]

Jefferson: Do you like being the big spoon or little spoon?

Hamilton: I’m not a spoon, I’m a knife. And I will stab you in the eyeball.

[johngayboi]

I swear my friends are done

Friend- so how much do you really know about musicals?

Me- oh you know, not much.. A hamil-TON.

Friend- chill out dude

Me- what, do I need to BE MORE CHILL?!

Friend- i swear I’m going to kill you and that body? Its gonna disappear

Me- no one deserves to disappear…

Friend- thats it! This is chaos.

Me- chaos is what killed the dinosaurs…

[johngayboi]

Long Distance Relationship Poem

Whether we wait 5 years or 28

Every day, every second is worth the wait

Just for those few days we get to see each other

I love you and I promise not to ever love another

Even though we may live a thousand miles away

You’re here in my heart, with me every single day