jojopretzalt

[jojopretzalt]

it took me like a full minute to realise that this was a post that was blocked with my own tumblr filters and not that “this post may contain reddit and american” was the funny post I was like wtf why can’t I reblog this

[jojopretzalt]

[jojopretzalt]

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

[jojopretzalt]

bro oh my god … vanilla extract

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Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

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[jojopretzalt]

after all those years memorizing social scripts to avoid raising eyebrows...the sheer RELIEF of being able to log onto hellsite.com and type shit like "i want to chew through your sternum, platonically" and have strangers just nod like yeah same 👍

[jojopretzalt]

Lord knows that the United States has and continues to commit atrocities. I can't justify that. And the current political situation here is scary as hell. But I love this place. I love the Atlantic Ocean and New York City and the Pacific Northwest. I love my Blue Ridge Mountains with my whole entire heart. I love cardinals and mockingbirds and kudzu and possums and black rat snakes and the way the woods smell in the mornings. 

I love that Americans are known for complimenting strangers. I love that we fry everything, and that we do it well. I love 12-foot-high plastic Halloween skeletons in people’s yards and tacky Christmas lights that stay up too long. I love that we are an unabashedly goofy people.

I love bluegrass music. I love stepping. I love that there are always folklorico dancers in my town’s Mardi Gras parade. I love that my town has a Mardi Gras parade, even though most people here aren’t Catholic or French and didn’t grow up with any kind of Carnivale tradition. I love that if "Livin On A Prayer" comes on a pizzeria, at least one person at each table won't be able to stop themselves from singing along. I love that the middle school gym shakes to the rafters when families cheer for THEIR baby finishing eighth grade and that they bring balloons and bouquets and flower garlands to celebrate.

I love the 80 year old couple at our local No Kings protest. I love all the little kids there with their families, too. I love the brass band that always shows up at protests here and plays old union songs and gospel music. I cry like a damn baby every time I hear “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing.”

This country is horrible and selfish and destructive, but it’s also wonderful and kind and full of people loving and fighting and trying to make things better. And the people saying that there’s only one kind of real American, and that if you don’t look like they do or talk like they do or think like they do, then you don’t count, those people can go pound sand. I’m as real American as they come, and those people aren’t the only ones who get to love our country.

[jojopretzalt]

just made the best non-looping gif i think

[jojopretzalt]

[jojopretzalt]

[jojopretzalt]

[jojopretzalt]

⭐Buckle up fellas! The Ramshackle opening theme is coming out April 6, 2025 @ 12pm EST!!! ⭐

On top of that we're also gonna have a lil merch drop to celebrate the Ramshackle pilot's anniversary 🥳 YAY

MERCH SHOP

[jojopretzalt]

silly

[jojopretzalt]

🍻YOUR FAV RABID STREET RAT IS HERE!!!☠️ Pre-orders end on Feb. 15, 2025!