journeyofthewanderlust

[journeyofthewanderlust]

Today marks two weeks that I've been home. To say that I have been extremely happy to be home would be an understatement. And not only happy, but relieved. Being in France was rough. Not only because I was living in a foreign country, but also because I was learning more of who I was. In France I learned many great things about me, but I also learned the not-so-great parts. I got to see how life has affected me and even 5000 miles away, I was still hurting. Not to say that France was awful. It wasn't. It was the most beautiful, eye-opening, breath-taking experience of my life. I loved it there. More than I ever could have imagined. But I started to see that there were some things that only coming home and being back with the people I desperately needed would solve. It was the hardest thing to leave. Every bone in my body ached to go back to when it all started and make it even better than it had already been. But I knew that it was time. Walking through customs in that French airport put me in a daze. I felt like all emotion almost ran out of me and I couldn't really realise what was happening. And I've been in this daze for about two weeks. I have only started to realise what has happened. And it hurts. I miss the relationships I made, the food, the language, the culture, and the life I had created there. Being back I have been struggling to adjust to so much that I didn't really expect. I see pictures of my friends back there or of simple everyday things like food or even hearing a little of the language and I feel a little part of myself break. Knowing that I won't be back for a while and not even knowing when a "while" ends, hurts. Even my dreams are filled with France, the friendships I made there, and things I started to call my "norm". To wake up and realize that I no longer have that is a hard thing to swallow. It is almost impossible to describe the grief of leaving France. The country I have dreamed about for six years now that became reality for 10 months. But I am grateful that I even get to grieve this because that means I spent a year over there and that is beyond amazing and I will be forever grateful. Vous me manquez. Je vous aime 😘 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0MnCzbioUB/?igshid=54xdj19h9uui

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Vander Payne's are finally back together again! Après un matin triste et presque 11 heures de vol, j'ai enfin retrouvé ma famille ! Beaucoup d'émotions mais je suis ravie d'être revenue mais, au même temps, la France me manque beaucoup déjà. Merci à tous qui m'avoir aidé dans cet aventure. Maintenant on commence le prochain 😍 (Aussi ma famille est adorable, n'est-ce pas ?? ) (à Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzmfpJHiaoi/?igshid=1p9nfqgcxcktu

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Et comme ça mon rêve finit. Ces 10 mois (et une semaine ! ) étaient quelque chose je n'oublierai jamais. Il n'y a pas de mots pour décrire les sentiments que j'ai. Ça me déchire et ça me fait mal au cœur de partir de ce pays mais au même temps, je suis ravie d'avoir eu cette chance. Les gens que j'ai rencontrés, la culture, et la langue ne sont que quelques choses que j'ai découvert et que je suis tombée amoureuse de pendant j'étais en France. Dans 12 heures je serai dans l'avion en partant le pays de qui mon cœur appartient et en revenant à un nouvel aventure. Pour ceux qui j'ai passé cette année avec : merci. Je suis remplie d'amour et des mémoires exceptionnelles. Vous allez me grave manquer. Je vous aime. Je prévois de continuer de publier sur ce compte mais si vous voulez voir plus de ma vie vous pouvez vous abonner @regan.t.payne Pour vous qui avez déjà demandé de s'abonner ce compte, je ne suis pas allée sur ce compte depuis je suis partie des States donc dans les jours à suivre, je vais commencer de répondre à tout ça. Encore merci pour cette année. Elle est passée trop, trop vite. A bientôt la France 💞 (à France) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjIz6ViNp7/?igshid=1jlpumd4vetkj

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June Update

Hey y’all. It feels weird writing this report this month. I have reached 10 months in France and I come home in just a couple days. This exchange has almost come to an end and I honestly feel speechless. This year has grown me in so many ways. It has taught me so many things. It has given me a new version of myself that I didn’t know about. It has been my dream to come to France for almost six years now and this year I had the chance to not only come here, but to create a life here. I remember being on the plane, wondering if I had made the right decision. I was so nervous and so excited. I was sad to leave my life in Texas, but thrilled to find a new one in France. And now looking back, I can’t fully comprehend all that this year has given me and how amazing this decision was to do an exchange. Last year today I had 55 days left before I started this crazy journey and now a year later, it will come to an end in only two days. Two days until I get back on that plane and come home. I am trying really hard to believe that I’m gonna be leaving this country in less than a week, but I honestly can’t get myself to believe it. It feels like I’m gonna stay here forever so I guess I’ll just wait and let it soak in. I feel an array of emotions. Excited to come home, to see my family, to meet my little brother for the first time, see my friends, go back to church… but sad to leave this country, my friends, the food, this life. I think the thing that disturbs me the most is that I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back. And if I’ll ever be able to have another experience like this. I don’t have all the answers but I do know one thing: I had a great year full of great memories. But the other day I found a beautiful quote: “I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I have been.” So this end to my exchange is only a beginning to all the adventures that await me. Anyway, all bittersweetness put aside, let’s jump into what I did during June!

So one big thing that happened is that I finished school! My class threw me a surprise party a few days before which was so sweet. I was left speechless. They gave me a notebook filled with sweet notes inside that I love reading through and my English teacher gave me a little bag that matches her backpack. It was honestly a moment where I realized all that I did this year and all the relationships I’ve made here. I can’t believe that I’ll be going back to school in a little over a month without all my French classmates with me. 

Then the week after I had my last Rotary meeting with all the other exchange students. It was another informational meeting with the district and we didn’t end up doing much but it was still really nice. We all signed each other’s flags and said our last goodbye’s for this year. It’s crazy to think that after all this year, it’s already finished. I think the hardest was saying goodbye to Elisabeth, my district chair. She has helped me a lot this year and was honestly so nice. 

Then I said goodbye to some of my friends a few days later. With one, we went on a little walk with her horses and with the others we had our last sleepover. One of my friends left for Japan the other day where she’s doing a short-term exchange. And then pretty soon all of my friends will be leaving to go to college, in France and in the U.S. And I also had my last dinner with my host club. I got to present about my life in the U.S. and Minami presented about her life in Japan. It was a bittersweet night because we had to say goodbye to all the Rotarians and each other. That really hit me when we said goodbye. She has been with me these last 10 months. We have grown together and made so many memories. Just another reminder of all that this year has meant to me. My class also had a little outing: a barbeque and bowling, but I only stayed for the first hour because I had my last dinner with my club right after.

I also got to go shopping with my host sister and her friend and that was really nice. Some of my favorite and most special moments have been with my host sisters this year. They add so much to an exchange and they are like true sisters for me. This past Sunday all my host families got together and we spent the afternoon together. We grilled a barbeque and just hung out. My first host dad brought some of his pigeons for me to release (don’t worry they come back to his house) and my families all pitched in for a really pretty journal and a really, really nice pen. And my third family gave me a really nice sweatshirt from our high school. It was a really special afternoon that I will never forget.

And that is it for this last (full) month in France! I still get one more update to tell y’all about this past week and about my readjustment back home. We are extremely close y’all! It’s crazy!! 

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Merci à mes familles d'accueils formidables ! Je vous adore 😘 https://www.instagram.com/p/BzYCU_YCcnY/?igshid=1u2931wr3rcsi

[journeyofthewanderlust]

28/06/2019 - 10 mois en France. Mon échange vient à la fin. Il ne me reste que sept jours de ce bel aventure. Chaque jour je deviens plus déchirée. J'ai hâte de rentrer, de voir ma famille, d'aller à l'église, de manger de la nourriture américaine, de voir mes amis. Mais j'adore ce pays qui s'appelle la France. C'est là où je suis devenue un nouveau moi. J'ai découvert des choses incroyables. J'ai fait des relations incroyables... Je commence à dire "au revoir" aux gens ici et ça me fait beaucoup de mal. Je ne réalise pas que je vais rentrer en quelques jours. Il me semble que je vais rester là pour toute ma vie. Je me demande souvent : est-ce que je vais avoir une autre opportunité de vivre en France comme ça ? et c'est quand la prochaine fois que je vais voir ces gens encore ? Je sais bien que la vie nous ramène aux endroits et aux opportunités qu'on n'attend pas et donc je sais que ça va se ranger. La vie va me ramener aux expériences géniales et j'ai hâte de les voir. J'espère que je pourrais revenir assez bientôt à mon autre vie là, en France. Quand je pars en quelques jours, je vais laisser une grande partie de moi ici qui est pleine d'amour et de bonheur. Je veux remercier tout le monde. Les personnes que j'ai rencontrées en France et même les gens aux États-Unis. Vous avez fait des belles choses pour moi cette année que je n'oublierai jamais. Vous m'avez soutenu et m'avez permis d'avoir cette belle expérience. Je serai toujours reconnaissante. Et si je pouvais, je referais cette année sans doute. J'aime bien qu'en français "au revoir" n'est pas exactement "good bye". En vrai, il veut dire "à la prochaine". Ce n'est pas un "adieu". Ce n'est qu'un "au revoir". Donc les au revoir que je commence à dire, seront un jour rencontrés avec un bonjour à nouveau. Je ne peux jamais refaire les 10 mois que j'ai déjà fait en France, mais j'aurai d'autres opportunités et je peux toujours me rappeler de mes souvenirs. C'était 10 mois extraordinaires. C'est parti pour la dernière semaine avant que je rentre et commence mon nouvel aventure ! https://www.instagram.com/p/BzSzB0cCAR9/?igshid=1swm6ola8cbuy

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"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." - Winnie the Pooh https://www.instagram.com/p/BzGul16IZ8b/?igshid=1hfc8n0odbibv

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Gonna miss these cotton candy skies https://www.instagram.com/p/By0u0gjiOTh/?igshid=iumbody2o68r

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May Update

Hey y’all! It feels crazy that I only have a couple of “hey y’alls” left until I’m back in Texas… This year has truly passed way too fast. I try to think that I’ve been here for nine months now and I have trouble believing it. But at the same time, when I think back to the first few weeks here, it kinda does feel so long ago. Time definitely does have another feeling when abroad. But anyway, we’re at the point in the month where y’all can take a few minutes to relax and be brought into my amazing French life. So find y’alls inner French selves and enjoy!

So this month, almost like every other month, has been packed with lots of experiences. I had a few rotary events this month. One being an event where all the exchange students make and bring a dish from their country and then all the host families, future host families, future (long term and short term) exchange students, and any rebounds can come and have a buffet. It was pretty awesome except that us, the exchange students at the moment, couldn’t eat any of the food. I really wanted a huge bowl of Japanese curry (that stuff is so good!). I did end up stealing a few bits of cheese balls from the Brazilian table right next to me (don’t tell anyone ;) ) but it was only because I was really hungry. And then the next weekend we had a “party of the youth”. Contrary to its name, it was not a party. It was an informational meeting for all the future outbounds and host families. For us exchange students we got to speak for a few seconds and say what we liked about our exchange and what we liked least. For me, I said that the people and language were my favorite things and that the three hours straight of economy I have each Thursday was my least favorite thing. Besides that, it was just a day where we hung out. I also got to meet a French girl who’s doing a short term exchange in Friendswood! So that was really cool to get to talk to her and answer some of her questions. I also saw Maëlys and that was really sweet because that was the last time we get to see each other before one of us comes back. Then the next week, we had some Polish rotarians come to see how my host club worked and to explore France! They were really sweet although it was a bit difficult to communicate since they didn’t speak French and not really English either. But I did learn some Polish words! For example, ‘tak’ means yes! We showed them around our city, a city close to us with beautiful gardens, a WW2 site, and a little bit of Paris! It was pretty fun! Although every night we went to bed at 2 and woke up at 7. I was pretty exhausted for those few days. But, I got to talk to the Polish rotarians about my exchange and maybe that can help them to start up an exchange program in their district!

I also took my B1 and B2 “DELF” tests this month (the tests that show my fluency in French) and I think they went pretty well! They were a lot easier than I expected and I think I could’ve taken a higher level. But I gotta wait a little while until I get the results back. And it was funny because the B1 (the lower level) was, in some ways, harder than the B2! That shocked me a bit, but it’s alright. Now I’m trying to find a way to take the C1 when I get back home.

School went well, as usual. The year is wrapping up so it’s a lot of reviewing and trying to finish our last chapters. I also got the chance to help my English teacher with one of her classes! That was really sweet although one girl couldn’t stop laughing every time I spoke. But oh well. We also had a little prom! It’s called the ball here, but it was still really fun. I didn’t get to go to prom last year, so it was a cool experience to have my first one in France. It was an antique theme, but most people didn’t try to dress to fit into the theme. My friends and I had a good time. We danced and sang and ate the whole night and then we all hung out afterwards. It was a really nice night.

With my host family, we also went to an amusement park. Except that there aren’t any roller coasters, it’s all sensation rides. So rides that make you feel like you’re flying or riding shotgun in a race car. It was the second time that I went to this park, but I loved it just as much as the first time. Although waiting was awful. For each ride it was a two hour and thirty minute wait. Let’s say that my host family and I found many ways to try and occupy ourselves. But it was still really fun. Honestly, my favorite amusement park I’ve ever been to.

And yeah, that was my month. It feels really weird to be closing out this year. I’m going to have to start packing in a few weeks. I’ve already started saying my goodbyes. Crazy, I know! It feels like this experience will never end, but I’m going to be proven wrong pretty soon. I see everything starting to come to an end and it feels so weird. I miss home and I’m really excited to come back, but it’s so sad to think that I won’t be able to live this version of my life for a while. This culture, this language, these people. When I come back, what part of me am I? What things do I keep doing and what other things do I change? And my biggest question: when can I come back? But even through all of this sadness of leaving the place, the culture, the language I have been dreaming of for almost six years, I do feel ready to come back. When I think of home, I do feel the weight of these past nine wonderful months and I’m excited to come back and find everything again even though it’ll all be different. This year has been absolutely incredible and it’s crazy to think that I did it and that in just a few weeks I’ll be getting on a plane and coming back. But coming back doesn’t end this journey; it’s only a new beginning. So  I’ll “see” y’all again in a month with many more bittersweet emotions and lots more experiences.

[journeyofthewanderlust]

Dernier jour de l'année terminale en France ! Cette année à l'école française était géniale. J'ai fait des beaux mémoires que je n'oublierai jamais. Merci à la meilleure classe dans le monde. Je vous adore 😘💞 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bya-uqWiDmC/?igshid=cv4faj3aqrsl

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Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'il ne me reste qu'un mois dans ce beau pays https://www.instagram.com/p/ByYWrDqieHw/?igshid=1hpq8urtdoo0n

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Neuf mois en France 💞🇫🇷 (à France) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByBE1qICAtj/?igshid=14h5byisjheae

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Mom and Dad, A couple of days ago marked one year that Jordan and I have been with y'all and I have been trying to find the words to express how much this past year has meant to me. But there are no words in the world to express that. So I just want to say thank y'all with all my heart for having taken Jordan and I in. Not for just that weekend, but for life. I am beyond grateful to have y'all as our parents and to be able to see God's love poured out through y'all. I love y'all so much and I really can't wait to come home and reunite our little family. This past year has been the best year of my life thanks to y'all, even though nine out of these twelve months were spent in a different country. Even through all the craziness, for the first time in a long time I finally feel at peace and very loved. Thank y'all for every single moment this past year. Being with y'all I've learned that I love watching baseball games, that Colony House is pretty awesome, that The Office and Gilmore Girls are bingeworthy series, that I like superheroes and house renovation shows, that cake balls are truly addictive, that cheese "shouldn't" be mailed, that bobby pins are apparently "bobbing pins", that Penny is adorable in a birthday hat and will do anything for food, that coffee goes perfectly with a "it's good", that I truly have the cutest little siblings ever and the best parents I could have ever hoped for and not to mention an awesome family, and that I have the most amazing, gracious and loving God. Thank y'all for teaching me all that. I can't wait to see what else I learn this next year with y'all. I love y'all so stinking much. Happy (late) one year and many, many more to come 💞 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx-QTMDii2D/?igshid=1b0zzwkk2cuvs

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Il n'y a personne d'autre je préférais danser comme une débile au bal qu'avec vous ⭐ https://www.instagram.com/p/BxsVI4VCy6J/?igshid=1tbt3b8bjd4y2

[journeyofthewanderlust]

Mom, Can I start off by saying how much I still love this first photo?? I can't believe that that was almost four years ago! It feels crazy. And who would've known that this picture was just starting my now lifelong adventure of lovingly annoying you. But in all seriousness, I am so thankful that God brought you into my life. These last four years you have taught me so much, especially about our loving God, and you have been someone very inspiring to me. But this past (almost) year has been, by far, the most influential. I will never forget that night that you called me. What would I have done without that call? Where would Jordan and I be? If anyone has showed me how to follow Jesus with reckless abandon these past four years, it has been you. You didn't have to call. But you did. And since then, Jordan and I's lives have been turned upside down. In the best way possible. It has been a rough year and probably the strangest year of our lives, but you have supported us through it all. You have been the best mom I could ask for and you continue to blow me away with how amazing you are. I can not tell you enough of how grateful I am for you. And I cannot express how much I love and miss you. If you knew how many times I have gone onto YouTube late at night these last eight months to listen to you sing just to hear your voice. And that has gotten me through so many hard nights during this exchange. I can't wait to come back and hug you and listen to you sing and just soak up your motherly love. You are an incredible mom. Jordan, Ellis, and I are truly the luckiest kids alive. What are the chances that we would end up with a loving, funny, and courageous mom who has her whole heart for Jesus? We love you so much. Thank you for everything. I'll see you in 55 days. Happy first Mother's Day 💞 Also don't forget that "it's good ☕" #vanderpayneadventures https://www.instagram.com/p/BxW7_prHOu6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=h11lum6gge7n

[journeyofthewanderlust]

April Update

Hey y’all! Time just seems to be going by faster and faster - it’s crazy! I hit the eighth month mark the other day and that just feels insane. Where has the time gone?! I’ll be leaving in just two months! But, very luckily, we’re only in the beginning of May so I still have two more months of memories to go. So now, be ready to be swept into France for a few minutes and enjoy this amazing French life.

So I started this month out by going on the Eurotour! We went to Germany, Austria, The Czech Republic, France, Italy, and Switzerland! Is it sad to say that France was still my favorite country to travel through?? All of the countries were extremely beautiful to explore and it was awesome to see all the different cultures and the little differences from country to country. Italy was definitely my second favorite. It was just so beautiful. It was also the only country I bought a souvenir from - a nice mask! I would’ve liked to buy more things but we already had to pay for our lunches everyday so I didn’t want to spend too, too much. The Eurotour was very interesting. We spent a lot of time in the bus, but that’s okay because I love to look out the window, watch the countryside, and think. And it was mostly fun except for the couple of nights my roommates wouldn’t let me sleep and the one hotel that only had ice cold water (let’s say that my shower broke record times!) We got to do a lot of cool things when we weren’t in the bus. We had tour guides, we got to visit a BMW museum, a bunch of beautiful castles, I got to see a blimp for the first time, visited a fair, rode a ferry, saw Annemarie, visited the UN, and just saw very beautiful places in general. I got to say that by the end of the trip, I was exhausted and I had lost some of my French after speaking English for almost two weeks, but it was a cool experience. Not to mention, I got to get to know some people a lot better and that was really fun.

The day after I got home from Eurotour, I went to Cherbourg, another city in France a few hours away from where I live, with a couple of rebounds and a few exchange students for a few days. It was super pretty. I got to explore some beaches, get some really good hikes in, and explore the city. And on the way home, we stopped by the American Cemetery. It was definitely something to see.

Once I got home, I had Sunday and Monday to sleep (thank you Easter) and then I had three days of school and then Friday I left for the zoo with Rotary! That was honestly super cool. We got Friday afternoon and most of Saturday to explore and see all the animals - it was awesome. I got to see all sorts of animals and learn more about them. We even slept at the zoo in little houses! That was pretty cool, too. We had a kitchen, a living room, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and even a patio. There were even little animals that roamed freely around our little cabins. It was super awesome. We did have some rain and a few hail storms, but I still highly enjoyed that weekend. And then I got to ride the train back which I always enjoy. Who knew that trains would become my favorite means of transport? Then once I got off the train, I went to my host club president’s house with Minami, where we spent the night, because we had a thing with our rotary club the next morning. So the next day, we went to a rally that our rotary club had organized. There we got to either walk or bike. Minami and I chose to bike. After our decision, someone told me that we would be biking 25 kilometers (15.5 miles!!). And it wasn’t flat - it was only hills. By the end of it, I couldn’t even walk. It was crazy hard. But it was still fun and a good experience. Luckily that night I got to finally go home and take it easy. Unfortunately, I had school the next day and this week we’re doing practice exams so that was a fun way to come back after my long weekend. Monday, I did philosophy and English and they went pretty good. I was pretty happy with what I did in philosophy so I’m hoping that I get graded this time. Yesterday, I would’ve taken history, but I spent the day pretty sick which was a bummer, but apparently the history test was extremely hard so maybe it was a good thing?

Anyway, this month was crazy busy, but pretty awesome. And even though I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with my host family, every time I’m home, I am so happy with them. They are so sweet and fun to be around. I’m really excited to see how the next two months go with them. It’s crazy to think that I’m finishing up this exchange, but I am so happy with how this year has gone. There were rough moments, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love this country, this culture, this life - just everything. It is beyond amazing here and I am beyond grateful for everything. I will see y’all next month with my May update!

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"Wanderlust consumed her, foreign hearts and exotic minds compelled her. She had a gypsy soul and a vibrant hope for the unknown." - d marie ~8 mois dans ce beau pays~ 💞 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw0C_JDgQlC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mc356pzugslz