jovialtorchlight

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

Im aorry i need help i cant donthis i am hungry i feel like my nody is giving up i am sorry

[jovialtorchlight]

everything is happening at once. my life is crumbling on multiple fronts

My cashapp is jonnybolduc125

PAY-WHAT-YOU-CAN DIGITAL ARCHIVE — JONNY BOLDUC 📚

All of my books, chapbooks, and poetic experiments—free to download, or pay what you can. Thanks for reading, supporting, and keeping this alive.

🔗 Browse here: https://www.scribd.com/user/48200062/Jonny-Bolduc

🛏️ HOW TO DIE ALONE IN YOUR BED (2015–2022)

A collage of image macros, isolation, and darkly comic despair.

Read it here: https://www.scribd.com/.../Everything-is-Changing...

📉 Everything Is Changing, Everything Is Getting Worse (2017)

My first book of poetry. Raw, bleak, and formative.

Read it here: https://www.scribd.com/.../Everything-is-Changing...

🕯️ DAWNDARK THANK YOU E-EDITION (2019)

A compact, revised release of my visual poetry collection. A thank-you to early readers.

Read it here: https://www.scribd.com/document/430618024/Dawn-Dark

📖 DAWNDARK (Full Edition) (2020)

The complete image poem book—melancholic, haunted, and sharp-edged.

Read it here:

https://www.scribd.com/doc.../445938943/Dawn-Dark-Manuscript

🐕 Words of Petulance (2021)

The legendary doggo image poems.

Read it here:

https://www.scribd.com/document/512936030/Petulance

🌀 Open Source: A Poetry eZine (2021)

A compact, six-page zine blending original poetry with public domain imagery from the Smithsonian archives. This collection delves into themes of physical and mental unease, with verses like:​

https://www.scribd.com/.../595.../Open-Source-A-Poetry-eZine

🐾 DOG (2021)

A 64-page apocalyptic fable told through surreal, poetic prose. DOG follows a dreaming pup navigating a world unraveling into fire, disease, and human cruelty. Blending mythic imagery with dystopian allegory, this work explores survival, innocence, and the search for kindness amidst collapse.​

https://www.scribd.com/document/565886694/DOG-PDF

🔥 Dead Brother, Who I Search For in the Silence (2022)

An early draft of the play that became Dead Brother, Will You Walk Through the Fire With Me.

Read it here:

https://www.scribd.com/.../Dead-Brother-Who-I-Search-for...

🔥 Dead Brother, Will You Walk Through The Fire (2022)

The full published version of my most personal, theatrical work.

Read it here

https://www.scribd.com/.../Dead-Brother-Will-You-Walk...

🧙‍♀️ The Witch (2023)

A short novella about power, revenge, and burning old lives down.

https://www.scribd.com/document/691934443/The-Witch

🐸 peompeompoem sad froge (2023)

A secret, weird little chapbook. Don’t think too hard. Just feel it.

Read it here

https://www.scribd.com/.../662812808/peompeompoem-sad-froge

🌊 REMAIN (2024)

A new poetry chapbook about memory, loss, and holding on.

Read it here

https://www.scribd.com/.../696331203/REMAIN-by-Jonny-Bolduc

🚽 Poems About Shitting (2024)

Three unapologetic poems about bodily urgency: house parties, Taco Bell, and dispatch desks.

Read it here

https://www.scribd.com/doc.../691881334/Poems-About-Shitting

to support:

cashapp $jonnybolduc125

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

When I was a kid, I’d hurt bugs by accident.  Walking in the dirt, I’d step on anthills.  Gently pick up a ladybug, not trying to hurt it, and inevitably squish it between my fingers. Because I was so big, and the bugs were so tiny.  With a careless footstep I’d destroy a colony. With a gentle pinch, I’d cave an inchworm in on itself. 

I was dangerous without trying to be.  

And I wonder if that’s why the devil does what he does. Maybe he doesn’t mean it.

Maybe he’s so big, and we’re so small, that when he walks fault lines reverberate and echo deep in the earth, sending waves, and our tiny palaces cave in and our gilded cities go up in ash. Maybe he pinches us, just to feel what our skin is like and we implode under the tremendous force of his grip. 

Maybe he’s just curious. Like a toddler poking a caterpillar.

Maybe he touches us, like I did to a moth, just to see how silky smooth our wings are, and we are left irreparably injured, unable to fly towards the light, left to starve. 

And now that I think about it, maybe that’s not the devil at all. 

Maybe that’s God.

 Imagine. 

God’s so enormous.

He tries to caress us and we crumple like tissue paper. He tries to show an ounce of love and our wings go up in flame like a moth flying into a lantern, trapped in the steel cage of his devotion. Maybe that’s why he’s so quiet; because when he whispers it’s thunder and when he steps it’s a hurricane.

Maybe that’s why we feel so alone. Because if God even cracked open the door, the pressure would kill us. If God tried to lift us up, tried to raise us to meet his gaze, we’d burn up like dry kindling. Maybe he has to be careful with us, like I have to be careful with the bugs.   

Because there is a tiny God inside of me, a God that sheds damage in its wake,  like ripples in a clear pond, carelessly willing harm into the universe without really thinking. 

Maybe that’s the lesson they should teach in Sunday school; take care not to step on the ant colonies or hurt the fragile paper wings or cause an earthquake when you tread. Take heed of the harm you do. Remember the implications of existing, even for a short time on this beautiful, dying earth as a massive, divine thing.

[jovialtorchlight]

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

Has it been that long? Indont fucking know. I sont know much anymore. Indint know why im here

these nine years

friends. tumblr friends. you know. i've been doing this shit since 2014. time has been brutal to me. i've become a sad, self centered sack of shit and i've eeked out some poetry. some of it good, some of it bad. some people saw my shit almost an entire decade ago. i've blown up, flatlined, been mediocre, been relevant, been irrelevant, been whispered about. i've helped, i've begged, i've groveled. i've tried to kill myself twice in these nine years. i've almost made writing work. i've almost got to whatever summit i'm waiting for, and it was in sight, but now it's lost, and i'm just a sad fat 30 year old. don't worry about me, i'm ok. i ride the waves and sometimes the end of the ride is in the fuckin' garbage can. i don't know who i am any better than i did when i was 21. i think i may be worse. i don't fuckin' know. time is a puncture would. i'm trying to make it.

[jovialtorchlight]

i cannot survive i think i may actually be dying

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc

[jovialtorchlight]

Not living

Pay what you can option for DAWNDARK

Ok, so officially:

Here’s the public, pay what you can link for DAWNDARK. You can download the PDF here. 

https://www.scribd.com/document/445938943/Dawn-Dark-Manuscript

If you like what you read, every penny counts. 

My paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, and my venmo is Jonny-Bolduc. 

If you can’t pay anything, that’s COMPLETELY fine. But, if not, please share the link. Reblog this. Show it to ur friends.  Help me make my dream of making my writing a sustainable future become a reality.  

And if you want a physical copy, they are on sale. 

https://app.thebookpatch.com/BookStore/dawndark/8fb22a1a-99df-48a4-a0a1-414db0e3353b

Much love to you all. 

[jovialtorchlight]

Im sorry. Im crumbling

a complete collection of my downloadable works

these are all completely free to download. as always, if you can, i SO appreciate any sort of pay what you can support on any level.

my paypal is jabolduc125@gmail.com, or @JonathanBolduc921

my cashapp is $jonnybolduc125

my venmo is @Jonny-Bolduc