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A crippled god is isolated within their only remaining temple. Having lost all their power after their patrons abandoned them, the only thing keeping them alive for the past few years is the unwavering devotion of a single dog.

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Prompt #3103

“Little priest,” the monster cooed. “All you have to do to stop the pain is pray to your god to come and save you.”

“I won’t trap Them,” the priest gasped. “I am faithful. My love is true.”

“Oh, we know. And that’s exactly why you’re the perfect bait.”

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vampires who lie outrageously about meeting famous historical figures, when in truth they mostly spent the last 500 years cooped up in dilapidated castles & caves like cranky hermits. nonetheless, interviews with vampires are technically considered primary academic sources, to the continual annoyance of the entire global community of historians

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Prompt #3277

“Do you know how hard it is to buy a present for a supervillain? Everything he wants he could steal, bribe, threaten, or buy!”

“There’s one obvious answer: you.”

“…he could steal me too, jackass!”

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Prompt #3280

“Oh, yes,” the supervillain drawled. “I love being blackmailed into helping you every time there’s a threat too big for you to handle. I’m ecstatic to be working with your weakling team again. Now shut up about rainbows and teamwork, point me at the threat, and let me go handle it. Alone.”

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Prompt #3281

“Love gods,” the villain cursed. “When I get my hands on them, I swear-”

“Oh, come on! Being in love with little old me isn’t so bad.”

“We’re enemies! Arch enemies!”

The hero shrugged. “And now we’re hopelessly in love. It makes a change of pace if nothing else.”

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Prompt #3282

“Oh,” said the supervillain. Quietly. Too quietly. “I see. Kissing me was just a distraction.”

“No! Well, yes, but…it’s not like that!”

“Oh? So explain how it is. Quickly.”

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Prompt #3284

“We can’t die like this. We can’t! We have so much to- and my ma- and your cats, god, they won’t understand why you’re not there-”

“And I’ll never get to kiss you.”

“And you’ll never get to- wait, what?!”

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Prompt #3291

“Oh,” said the supervillain softly. “So this is the part where you betray us.”

The thief shrugged, loose and unruffled. “Sorry, boss, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I get the jewels and you get the jail time.”

“One problem with that.”

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?”

“You did, actually, but that’s not the point.” The supervillain paused. Cracked their knuckles, their neck, their spine. “I’m better at this than you are. More talented, and more experienced. Did you really think no one has ever tried to betray me before?” They stepped forward, palms spread wide. “Do you really think they survived the attempt?”

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Prompt #3297

“What the- where the hell are your clothes?!”

The superhero spluttered. “I’m in my house, I’m allowed to be naked!”

“Not when I’m trying to kidnap you, you’re not!”

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Prompt #3298

“So in your universe we’re a villain?”

The villain version of them nodded.

“Are we any good at it?”

“A little too good at it, actually.”

“Ah, yeah. That’s what I thought.”

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Prompt #3299

“I need your help. So, let’s shortcut this. What kind of begging do you want?”

“Begging?” the villain spluttered. “Uh, none? I’ll just help you.”

The hero’s brow wrinkled. “For…free?”

“Yes! Yes, for free. God, who’s been making you beg?”

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Prompt #3300

“Kiss me.”

“That’s what you want as thanks for saving my life?”

“Maybe it is. Got a problem with that?” Silence stretched on, and the hero’s blush darkened. They looked away. “If you don’t want to-”

“No! No, I definitely want to. I just- God, you do realise this is my every dream coming to life, right? I’d kiss you for free. I’d kiss you anytime, anywhere, whenever you ask.”

“Oh.”

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Prompt #3301

“You can’t make me adopt kittens. I’m a villain. I’m evil. I don’t do cute.”

“Yeah well, my sister is deathly allergic and I’m poor as hell, so I can’t take them.” The hero held the stray kittens up to their face, pouting as they meowed pitifully. “Are you really going to leave these perfect little angels out here to die in the cold?”

Two kinds of cute. Two adorable things the villain wished they could have curled up in their bed. They swallowed. “No. Absolutely not. First kittens in my house, and then what? You? Coming to visit them? Hell no. You won’t trick me like than.”

Six hours later they had kittens in their house. Six months later and they had a hero in their bed too.

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Prompt #3302

The hero’s smile was caught between sly and soft as they sidled up to their nemesis. “You kissed me last night.”

“Nemeses kiss all the time,” the villain proclaimed, as if saying it with enough confidence would have them both believing it. They refused to look at their hero, refused to risk the eye contact. “It doesn’t mean there are feelings involved.”

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Prompt # 213

“You can’t keep risking yourself to see me, my love.”

“Nothing could stop me,” the angel swore, wrapping themselves around their fallen lover.

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Prompt # 211

A loud bang jerked [X] from a deep sleep.

[Y] looked sheepish as they gestured with a hand that still crackled with lightning. “I, uh, got a fire going.”