I miss having your Shepard on my dash.
awww. i'll be back at some point. can't really guesstimate when, but, it'll be at some point lmao. i miss john but i don't have much mass effect muse atm unfortunately. thank you for caring about my portrayal, though. ♡
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here’s a little official hiatus post. i’ll be back when i’m back. for now you know where to find me.
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the pay off must feel good when it comes to anti-troy baker shit huh?
you have no idea lmao.
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* alenkoh .
It was no secret that the last thing John wanted was to be taken care of. To be coddled or treated like he needed help. And normally, Kaidan didn’t go anywhere near that. They were equals in the relationship. Always there for each other when they needed it, but never forcing their partner to accept help when they didn’t want it.
However.
Considering John had literally just survived a second suicide mission, and Kaidan was honestly amazed that they were both still alive to even have this conversation? He figured he was entitled to a little extra taking care of his boyfriend. At least until he was fully healed up.
“Oh yeah.” He confirmed, a breathy laugh falling from his lips as he leaned back, letting his feet cross in front of him at the ankles as they sat there for a moment. “But it’s kinda nice, you know? I’ve been finding things I had forgotten about. Like, hey, you remember the menu we uh..borrowed from that little place on the citadel with the steak sandwiches? That was stashed in one of the drawers in your quarters.”
Kaidan’s smile falters for a moment as he remembers why he had found it. “Before I knew you were here, no one was sure. I wouldn’t let anyone else into your room. Didn’t feel right. I hope you don’t mind I was the one cleaning it up?”
admittedly, john didn’t remember much of what he’d stashed into certain drawers of his cabin. but, of course, that could be partially blamed on the war... his head was focused on the mission, and not much else. there was room for kaidan and very brief bonding with the rest of the crew, but he couldn’t seem to stop his spiraling thoughts enough to simply relax. the coma they put him in was the most sleep he’d gotten in however long it had been.
❝ yeah, that’s fine, ❞ he replies, giving kaidan a small smile. there wasn’t too many things around, and besides his service medal and the picture of kaidan that sat beside his stack of datapads, there wasn’t much else he wanted to bring to earth with him. he wondered how the fish and his hamster fared during the final battle, when joker pulled off the evasive maneuver of the millennium.
❝ — how’s the hamster ? ❞ he finds himself asking... it was just a hamster, but he’d gotten quite close to the little guy.
john fixated his attention on kaidan, blue eyes shifting once to the brace on his knee, the way it itched his skin underneath, the way he couldn’t do anything about that. he wonders how long he’d be stuck in the damn thing, but imagined it would be awhile... he figured there was no use in complaining, silently or otherwise, at least he was still alive...
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haven’t had a shep for a while
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i mentioned this offhanded once, but john does find it calming to sit in the mess or sit in the crew quarters with a datapad and cup of coffee, just listening to the banter. it’s humanizing. makes him realize that these people are a very important part of the equation, away from the regular civilians ( despite those people who john fights for the most. )
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* facedtogether .
Condolences. The mere word made him cringe as Jeff looked at what he was doing to concentrate on sitting down, despite of knowing it was meant to be a joke on John’s end. Glad he could hide the grimace behind his own condition.
They’d tried getting EDI back running so many times since crashing by now he wasn’t even sure if he wanted them to be successful. It didn’t seem fair. What if she wasn’t the same anymore? But then again, Shepard survived despite better judgement… Which meant he wasn still the same man, right?
Joker sighed absentmindetly. “Hm? Good. We’re all glad you got out of this shit alive.” He rubbed the back of his head, then readjusted his cap. “Well yeah, not much use for me to be there right now you know… or elsewhere.”
the was a tenseness in the air, and john decided it was time to move away from that conversation. joker seemed like he didn’t want to dwell on what happened, and john wished he could do the same. the pounding in his head and every limb and appendage that throbbed told him he couldn’t not dwell on it.
he’d gotten to know the man over the years, however... while visiting the cockpit, and busting him out of the normandy for a drink down in purgatory, or a simple walk through the presidium, he picked up on a few of his tells. things he’d never mention. though he seemed a tad relieved, to see that john wasn’t a mess of meat and tubes again.
❝ are you eating ? ❞ it was hard to assume anybody had an appetite after what happened... the nurses throwing away stale sandwiches that john simply pushed away from him, unable to hold anything down. he wasn’t sure if that was because of his injuries, or if it was because he was too wound up to eat. ❝ i can get a nurse to bring you something in. ❞ or maybe just a nice warm cup of coffee.
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* defyxoblivion .
There was still so much more work to do, but when Steve had been told the Commander was awake he’d dropped everything to visit him. He had few friends as true and good as John, and needed to be there for him.
“I don’t know, Shepard. You look like Hell.“
“Maybe I’ll finally be the pretty one, eh?“
It was a miracle that John survived, my God. Steve wanted to hug him, but imagined that might not be pleasant. He’d have to wait. “You need anything? Whatever it is, I’ll get it.”
❝ i probably feel worse than i look, ❞ he comments, his skin pulling around his mouth when he smiles, the commander flinching just a tad at the discomfort. he didn’t deal with this whole thing when cerberus rebuilt him... he was still in whatever coma they had him under until he was almost fully healed. of course he’d sustained a few punches to the jaw when he was in the reds, but even that didn’t feel as off-putting.
he gestures to the seat beside his hospital bed, silently inviting steve to take a seat. he was grateful for the company. ❝ nah, seems like i get special treatment... like i saved the galaxy or something. ❞ a soft laugh. ❝ no but, really, thanks for stopping by. these walls only keep you sane for so long, and i’m just itching to get out there and help, when i look out the window. ❞
he would be there eventually. the doctors hadn’t given him an ETA on when he’d possibly be able to walk without leg braces and a set of crutches, if he was lucky, other times he was confined to a wheelchair. but hopefully he’d get some good news soon. ❝ —— how’s the crew holding up ? ❞
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* cerberusofficer .
“ — of course, ” the drawl that she offers him is safe, assured, and practiced. there’s little belief that c-sec dug up half the information given, especially considering that they were delving into a particular asari’s realm on the matter. cerberus sources: former and current were predominately reliable given the current galactic climate. “ my sources indicate that t’loak is well aware of the exchanges. however, we would be well advised to step in as a particular liaison. currently, eclipse is moving product between territories under the guise of medical necessity, gouging prices, and using what biotic muscle they have. civilians have been caught in the middle. ”
“ shepard, ” she starts, shoulders falling ever slightly. “ —we could leave this up to aria. it is her turf, so to speak and omega is hardly friendly. ”
the mention of civilian casualties had solidified his decision. it would be simple to turn a blind eye and allow the asari deal with what was happening ( with miranda confirming she knew, ) but it would be a heavy burden upon the commander’s shoulders if he simply walked away. so bringing in a breath, he calls for joker to take a turn in their trajectory and head to omega. of course, they would have to make a pitstop to afterlife... to get whatever permission they needed to access the backstreets without dealing with her unnecessary bodyguards.
❝ —— i imagine aria is swamped with her own problems these days, ❞ with the collectors and the reapers and cerberus itself. she had connections, and they would be foolish to let that slip away when they needed the help the most. if they offered to repay her by handling this, then so be it. ❝ we should bring mordin. i’m sure he knows his way around the slums and eclipse territory better than we do. ❞
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Me: I don’t have a type
Also Me: *knows exactly who I’m going to romance after one conversation*
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* kasumigcto .
“Oh calm down, Shep, your tone is making you sound like my disappointed father. As much as I’d love to call you daddy let’s ease up on the tone.” Painted lips pull into a playful grin before pulling up her omnitool once more, eyes hidden beneath the shadow of her hood scanning the information. “Cerberus has gotten their fingers in lots of pies, and let’s just say, they’re not even the good kind.”
there’s a playful roll of his eyes at her speech... arms coming to fold across his broad chest, the commander taking a couple steps back to lean against the nearest solid object. ❝ sounds like cerberus. ❞ he replies, nodding his head vaguely. the news she’d given wasn’t at all surprising... cerberus seemed to have their hands in a lot of things lately, given how much admiral hackett had sent him out to reclaim bases and rescue civilians. ❝ i can have traynor look into leads, if you have any. i’m sure she and EDI could narrow down a location for at least one of... those pies. ❞
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* alenkoh .
“Walk ahead of you?” Kaidan questioned for a moment before he saw the grin spreading across the other’s face. His own cheeks burned what he could only assume was a bright red before he snorted out a laugh. “John Shepard, I swear. Barely up and walking and already letting your eyes wander. How about I make you a promise. We get you healthy and out of here, and I’ll do more than just walk ahead of you. Deal?” He had to admit, he missed their more intimate moments as well. You couldn’t exactly have a private moment in a hospital that was constantly buzzing around you.
Reading John like a book was one of Kaidan’s specialties. He knew the other man better than he knew himself. That’s what happened when you had been with someone since you were teenagers. Their history was an interesting one, and he loved that it was something only the two of them truly knew. But in knowing someone so well, you could tell when they were hiding things. “Hey, there’s a bench, let’s sit a second? I had a feeling you might ask about the Normandy so I managed to sneak a few pictures if you’d like to see?” They had so much to talk about. But there was this strange sense of peace around them knowing the war was over. Now all they had to focus on was making sure John healed so that they could start whatever was next. Another tour of duty, or maybe they would even talk about finally hanging it up.
john would laugh, if his chest didn’t hurt. if he hadn’t broken enough ribs for it to be a world record. honestly, he’s surprised at the number of injuries sustained and he was still able to exist. though, given he had died two years ago, maybe surviving the reaper were wasn’t nearly as bad as being ejected into the vacuum of space and suffocating to death, to crash land on some foreign planet. he wondered, briefly, how they found every part of him... and how many parts weren’t his. that was an odd thought, so he pushed it aside. that was a long time ago. john just had to focus on the present.
like finally being able to relax without the constant worry of reapers.
❝ i’m okay, ❞ he said, but with kaidan already leading him towards the bench, the commander just sighed quietly. he didn’t like being coddled, and he knew kaidan only did it out of worry, but it still kind of bothered him. he carefully sits, stretching out his leg with the brace, and props his crutches up against the wall. ❝ — do they have you on cleaning duty yet ? ❞
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* cerberusofficer .
“ eclipse, actually. ” as if it offers some paltry relief. it’s with a practiced ease that she extends the datapad in the commander’s direction, her facial expression taut, if not entirely unreadable. “ hardly pressing, typical drug trade. but c-sec is worried about something and considering your last encounter with them, we’ve been given a heads up. ”
❝ eclipse, ❞ he repeats, given miranda a faint nod. ❝ is aria aware ? ❞ he knows the eclipse, blood pack, and blue suns all seemed to revolve around her. despite john knowing that the eclipse was run by jona sederis... he’d personally had a talk with her at one point, and he was willing to say they were handled much better under aria’s rule. ❝ what’s the run down ? ❞
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i still find it really endearing that mark signs things as ‘MARK! (meer)’ like how cute is THAT.
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i love when the wifi just seems to cut out on my laptop sometimes.
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