jtl07

[jtl07]

”I have this artistic idea but not the skills to achieve it to the standard I want.”

congrats! Now you have a motif! A recurring theme! A focus for your art! Something to haunt you!

Seventeen still lives of dandelions? Three hundred poems about grief? A sketchbook dedicated to your grandmother’s house? Two books trying to unravel the complexities of familial relationships?

Don’t let the fear of it not being perfect on the first try stop you from being Weird About It!

[jtl07]

Since I just saw a post on this and since I work in food service now:

Guys, being a regular and ordering the same thing every time you come in is absolutely fine.

Literally no one is going to be side-eyeing you. The fact of the matter is we have other stuff going on.

That’s not a put-down or anything. I try to make sure all the customers who interact with me feel like they’re our most important customer. However, we are busy and often people just sort of slip by unnoticed. 

When I do think about regulars that come into the store, it’s not usually: “Oh my God, I can’t believe they come to Panera every day. Yikes, so cringe.” It’s usually: “I wonder how John is doing. I hope his coffee was alright. I had to get it in a bit of a rush today because of all the to-go orders.”

And I really want to scream this from the rooftops because I had a guy just a couple of weeks ago say how embarrassed he felt for always ordering the same thing. That he felt ashamed of being so predictable. Meanwhile, I’m just glad he didn’t order something we don’t have (looking at you Panera wraps) and that he’s not yelling at me. 

You know what’s cringe? Getting snippy with Panera employees because we don’t have the thing you wanted. You know what’s cringe? Complaining about the prices to me when I can’t afford to eat at this restaurant without the associate’s discount. You know what’s cringe? Yelling at Panera employees because you’ve had a bad day and they made the mistake of working in retail. 

That’s cringe. Eating the same sandwich every day? Not a problem. If you get noticed for it at all, it will be: “Oh, thank God, I know what to do with this one and have a low probability of getting yelled at.” Most of the time though, it’ll be the barista trying to remember everything you ordered, double checking the receipt to make sure they got it right, and then handing you the order before moving on to the next one. Because, let’s face it, you’re the twenty-sixth person to order a bagel with plain cream cheese this shift and the orders start blurring together after about the fifth one.

[jtl07]

some old avatrice

[jtl07]

Supercorp in 2025?? yes

Finished? no

But it's better than nothing and I might go back to it later😬

[jtl07]

Jibo doing the "you better be nice while my partner talks about their interests" trend. Never beating the "secretly married" allegations.

[jtl07]

i don't know who needs to hear this, but 'perfect' writing is a trap. all writing is subjective. what we create today, we may see as flawed tomorrow. what we see as flawed today, we may see as perfect tomorrow.

writing is the act of transmuting the human experience through words. and the human experience? it's a messy, chaotic thing filled with rough edges and uneven lines and mistakes and failures. you can erase all of that. you can. but then you're left with something sterile and artificial. you've effectively squeezed the soul out of your work, and i can think of nothing less appealing.

this isn't to say don't edit your work. please do. but keep it within reason, and make sure you're moving forward and not backward. momentum is key.

don't sit on an idea for three decades waiting for that dance with inspiration, or that dynamite first line, or that eureka plot twist, or the words to flow like magic from your fingertips. because it won't happen. and if it does, it'll strike like lightning and disappear twice as fast. the only surefire way to finish a story is to start.

so write. for the love of god, just write.

along the way, things will fall in line. i promise. and if they don't? then they already have. the magic of art is that everything we create is a snapshot of who we are at the time of creation. it's like a time capsule of human experience, and there's a beauty in that authenticity-- in the mistakes we make and the wrong turns we take. don't run from them. embrace them.

let their lessons flow through you and channel them into something tangible. if it's hard, then start with one word and keep going. don't erase it. don't start over. don't let yourself believe your story isn't worth telling because if you don't tell it, then no one else will. and that'd be a damn shame.

so one word a day. one sentence a week.

whatever it takes.

it might be tough letting go of the idea of perfect. silencing your inner editor. your inner critic. it might be tough realizing that your story will never meet your standards, not completely, but it won't be half as tough as looking back and wondering where all the days, weeks, and years went; that in the pursuit of perfection, you forgot to ever write a story at all.

so leave perfect behind. readers don't want it. why would they? they can't possibly relate to perfect-- none of us can.

instead, give readers a window to your imagination, stormclouds and all. you'll be surprised by how many stick around for the rain, how many relish the sound of your thunder, and how many cherish the worlds that only you could bring to life.

[jtl07]

So I've left my fics unlocked on AO3 because I have a reasonable amount of guests who read and comment, but I have to say the spam bot abuse is getting worse. Like, really really bad.

My latest chapter of Parasite got 5 abusive spam comments. And although I roll my eyes and delete them because I know they're rubbish and I'm confident that I'm a decent writer, it makes me really worry about newer writers, because some of this stuff is brutal and cruel.

Please please please combat this by leaving positive reviews for your writers on their work, especially if you know they're new to writing - it doesn't have to be long! A smiley face or a heart, tell the author that you enjoyed it or loved it, or quote your favourite line. Something to combat these abusive nasty bot comments.

We are going to lose new authors to this. We will. And it's not fair that people pouring their heart and souls into writing might only be getting these comments.

[jtl07]

Whenever I think about students using AI, I think about an essay I did in high school. Now see, we were reading The Grapes of Wrath, and I just couldn't do it. I got 25 pages in and my brain refused to read any more. I hated it. And its not like I hate the classics, I loved English class and I loved reading. I had even enjoyed Of Mice and Men, which I had read for fun. For some reason though, I absolutely could NOT read The Grapes of Wrath.

And it turned out I also couldn't watch the movie. I fell asleep in class both days we were watching it.

This, of course, meant I had to cheat on my essay.

And I got an A.

The essay was to compare the book and the movie and discuss the changes and how that affected the story.

Well it turned out Sparknotes had an entire section devoted to comparing and contrasting the book and the movie. Using that, and flipping to pages mentioned in Sparknotes to read sections of the book, I was able to bullshit an A paper.

But see the thing is, that this kind of 'cheating' still takes skills, you still learn things.

I had to know how to find the information I needed, I needed to be able to comprehend what sparknotes was saying and the analysis they did, I needed to know how to USE the information I read there to write an essay, I needed to know how to make sure none of it was marked as plagerized. I had to form an opinion on the sparknotes analysis so I could express my own opinions in the essay.

Was it cheating? Yeah, I didn't read the book or watch the movie. I used Sparknotes. It was a lot less work than if I had read the book and watched the movie and done it all myself.

The thing is though, I still had to use my fucking brain. Being able to bullshit an essay like that is a skill in and of itself that is useful. I exercised important skills, and even if it wasnt the intended way I still learned.

ChatGTP and other AI do not give that experience to people, people have to do nothing and gain nothing from it.

Using AI is absolutely different from other ways students have cheated in the past, and I stand by my opinion that its making students dumber, more helpless, and less capable.

However you feel about higher education, I think its undeniable that students using chatgtp is to their detriment. And by extension a detriment to anyone they work with or anyone who has to rely on them for something.

[jtl07]

you’re gonna get through this, even if right now you don’t have all the answers, even if it’s not going as fast as you wish it would. you’ve dealt with hard things before, and that means you are resilient and capable, and you will find a way. you’ve dealt will find away and this will be just one of those hardships that felt impossible to handle, but that you ended up managing. you will make it out of this.

[jtl07]

For spicy week:

Avatrice

Training session

Exhibitionism (to whatever degree you feel like)

👋😇

lolol perfect emoji usage is perfect - hopefully i uh did this prompt justice??

"You need a lesson in self-control," Beatrice had growled - granted, Ava's earlier brattiness had warranted it but she certainly didn't expect said lesson to involve being in the middle of their training area amidst the trees, pants and underwear bunched at her knees. Her hands are tied behind her and the tips of Beatrice's fingers are teasing just inside her folds, just enough for her to feel the warm summer breeze where she's dripped onto her thighs, just enough for her to whine about being teased - 

Beatrice stops. Covers Ava's mouth roughly before she can complain. "Did you hear that?" 

She can't - with the way Ava's heartbeat is pounding in her ears, she can hardly hear anything else. She tries to focus but then Beatrice leans in closer, speaks low into her ear. "Someone's on the trail." 

Ava's eyes widen, looking around wildly - only for her sight to turn stark white when Beatrice's fingers sink into her without warning. Her knees nearly give out, saved only by the tight grip of Beatrice's hand over her mouth. 

Beatrice's voice spills into Ava's ear, making her shiver down to her toes. "You have to be quiet, Ava. You don't want to be found like this, do you?" 

Ava's not sure if it's a threat or a promise but either way, it makes her hips jerk hard into Beatrice's hand; she feels Beatrice's mouth curve just under her ear, teeth sharp, lips knowing. Nearly chokes when Beatrice moves her fingers faster.

"You don't want someone to walk by and see you being fucked like this." 

The words are almost drowned out by the wet sounds of Beatrice's hand working between Ava's legs, the fire in her veins. 

"Can you hear the footsteps? They're getting closer. Just around the bend."

Ava strains to hear it, swears she hears the crack of the twigs underfoot, swears she can feel another set of eyes. Her skin prickles at the thought of being watched, feels the rush of being completely on display - 

She comes near violently, choking back a scream as her knees and her vision give out, her entire existence shattering and reforming in an instant. When she comes to, she's still shaking, curled up in Beatrice's lap on the forest floor, the soothing cadence of Beatrice's voice again in her ear. 

It takes a while for her heart to settle, before she can hear the rustling of the wind through the trees. The quiet that surrounds them.

Ava straightens in realization. 

"There wasn't anyone on the trail, was there," Ava accuses.

Beatrice shrugs, but she can hardly fight back her grin. "Consider it part of the lesson." 

[jtl07]

For spicy week:

Avatrice

Training session

Exhibitionism (to whatever degree you feel like)

👋😇

lolol perfect emoji usage is perfect - hopefully i uh did this prompt justice??

"You need a lesson in self-control," Beatrice had growled - granted, Ava's earlier brattiness had warranted it but she certainly didn't expect said lesson to involve being in the middle of their training area amidst the trees, pants and underwear bunched at her knees. Her hands are tied behind her and the tips of Beatrice's fingers are teasing just inside her folds, just enough for her to feel the warm summer breeze where she's dripped onto her thighs, just enough for her to whine about being teased - 

Beatrice stops. Covers Ava's mouth roughly before she can complain. "Did you hear that?" 

She can't - with the way Ava's heartbeat is pounding in her ears, she can hardly hear anything else. She tries to focus but then Beatrice leans in closer, speaks low into her ear. "Someone's on the trail." 

Ava's eyes widen, looking around wildly - only for her sight to turn stark white when Beatrice's fingers sink into her without warning. Her knees nearly give out, saved only by the tight grip of Beatrice's hand over her mouth. 

Beatrice's voice spills into Ava's ear, making her shiver down to her toes. "You have to be quiet, Ava. You don't want to be found like this, do you?" 

Ava's not sure if it's a threat or a promise but either way, it makes her hips jerk hard into Beatrice's hand; she feels Beatrice's mouth curve just under her ear, teeth sharp, lips knowing. Nearly chokes when Beatrice moves her fingers faster.

"You don't want someone to walk by and see you being fucked like this." 

The words are almost drowned out by the wet sounds of Beatrice's hand working between Ava's legs, the fire in her veins. 

"Can you hear the footsteps? They're getting closer. Just around the bend."

Ava strains to hear it, swears she hears the crack of the twigs underfoot, swears she can feel another set of eyes. Her skin prickles at the thought of being watched, feels the rush of being completely on display - 

She comes near violently, choking back a scream as her knees and her vision give out, her entire existence shattering and reforming in an instant. When she comes to, she's still shaking, curled up in Beatrice's lap on the forest floor, the soothing cadence of Beatrice's voice again in her ear. 

It takes a while for her heart to settle, before she can hear the rustling of the wind through the trees. The quiet that surrounds them.

Ava straightens in realization. 

"There wasn't anyone on the trail, was there," Ava accuses.

Beatrice shrugs, but she can hardly fight back her grin. "Consider it part of the lesson." 

[jtl07]

sometimes writing feels like dragging your brain across gravel. but at least the gravel is sparkly. and covered in metaphors.

[jtl07]

Glass of water (oil on canvas) Artist / Emma May Riley

[jtl07]

“They can’t beat us, Bea. Not together.”

[jtl07]

[jtl07]

On July 1, Cloudflare, one of the internet’s core infrastructure companies, declared “Content Independence Day.” In a landmark policy shift, the company announced it will now block AI crawlers from scraping sites hosted on its platform unless those bots pay content creators for the data they consume.

Damn. Interesting move by Cloudflare.