jtmtea

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“expressing laughter online” alignment chart

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Keep in mind I’m a cis woman writing this.

So I was debating posting this but I think it needs to be said.

So I’m a student teacher and this week, we started at a new school district. Now I won’t presume to begin to pretend that I know what everyone’s political ideologies are in this school district but keep in mind that it’s in rural New York State and rural New York State tends to run red. Not as red as some other places but definitely not blue and not even really purple. 

Anyway yesterday was my first ever professional development day. So I’m all dressed up, introducing myself to other teachers, and I shake hands with the superintendent who seems like a really nice guy.

And about halfway through the day, he goes up to the front of the theater and he starts talking about the best ways to talk to and help transgender/nonbinary students. It’s the basic things we all learn in our education classes. And you can tell that he’s a bit uncomfortable and so are some of the teachers. And at last, he stops and says, “Folks, I have to be honest. My father is rolling in his grave right now.”

And I’m in the back like, “Oh no.”

And so he pauses again and then he starts implying that he was raised to have a very negative opinion on the transgender community. And he continues to say that he had to unlearn a lot in the past few decades and then he admitted that he still doesn’t get it. He outright admitted that he personally doesn’t understand how someone comes to the conclusion that they’re not their assigned gender. And he admits that of course he doesn’t because he’s never had to go through that.

Another pause.

And then he says, “But I don’t have to get it.”

The theater fills with whispers and then he says [and I’m paraphrasing here], “I don’t have to get it. I don’t even have to agree with it. Because it doesn’t matter what I think or what I feel or what my beliefs are. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that I respect that student and I respect their choice.”

And then he reminded the teachers of every single policy that the school district follows from letting any student use their bathroom of choice to changing the students’ names per the students’ requests to not telling the parents anything unless the student gives consent to do so.

And at the end, he brought it back by saying, “My father just rolled in his grave again. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you think, it doesn’t matter what you believe, because it’s not about you. It’s about your kids. And you need to love your kids! Love your kids! Love your kids!”

Long story short, this looks like it’s going to be a good placement.

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To any trans women and transfeminine followers of mine, did you know there’s a pretty huge Etsy store which does gaff underwear and swimsuits specifically designed for trans people amongst its products? They go in a pretty decent range of sizes, including sizes for young girls, and while I do not personally know anyone who has used them, there’s a fuckton of positive reviews on the Etsy store. They have a ton of colours to choose from, different fabric choices, the works.

And for once they’re not marked “for crossdressers” too, they actually under “transgender”, so that’s (depressingly) unusual.

I’m mostly posting this because I’ve seen a lot of younger people recently in particular saying they never knew what gaffs were… a lot of people find them WAY MORE comfortable and convenient than tucking, so I would recommend looking into them if you’ve never done so before!

And even if you yourself don’t use or need this stuff, do pass this kind of info on to any friends of yours that might, guys! There’s always like a million more PSAs about transmasc stuff as opposed to transfem stuf tbh…

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So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

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the notes are broken 😂

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hey please help a sister out.. is there any way to watch gay stuff on netflix without the fam knowing?

Yes!

Okay, so what you wanna do is…

As soon as you finish watching your gay stuff, go up to your profile and click “Account”: 

Scroll down to “My Profile” and click on “Viewing Activity”:

Find the title you want to “hide” (aka delete from your history):

Click on the “x” next to the movie/series you’re trying to hide.

Clicking that “x” will delete it from your viewing activity AND prevent the title from showing up in the snitch sections of your account, “Recently Watched” and “Continue Watching”.

Boom.

Now you can watch whatever gay stuff you want and your fam won’t know unless you tell them. 

(Warning: It might take up to 24hrs to “hide” so plan accordingly.)

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I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY ANNOUNCE THIS!

Every day in August, a new TRANS 101 video will come out!!! I’ve been working on this non-stop for 3 months and I’m so glad it’s all come together and I was able to pull it off! Look out for a new video every morning in August. Each video talk about a different topic related to transition and trans people. These videos will be in a playlist that you will be able to give friends, families, partners, etc, to inform them about certain aspects of transition.

I tried to make this series very basic, but there are some topics that are a little more complicated. I know y'all are so excited for the next videos, but be patient ;) every day, a new one will be posted at 8am EST! Let me know what you think <3

Here is Episode 1!!!

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Spectrum outfitters is a new UK BASED company that is about to start selling binders

I know this damn website is so Americanised but PLEASE reblog this! Transmasculine people in the UK have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for shipping from America. This could change all that.

Support your UK trans community. Reblog this. Get the word out.

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hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

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5 things you should know about skin hunger

I’ve posted blogs in the past that mentioned the term skin hunger, the physical and psychological need for meaningful human touch, and I received an inquiry asking for more information about this phenomenon. So, here you are. Top 5 things you should know about skin hunger.

1. It’s an actual *NEED*

Like the name suggests, skin hunger isn’t a desire, it’s a primal necessity that like food, water, and sleep, humans will hunger, long, and ache for when they need it.

The outcomes of unmet skin hunger have been explored in a number of well-documented (but ethically questionable) research studies. Babies in hospitals, orphanages, and other institutional settings that receive adequate bio care (feeding, bathing, and changing) but are left in cribs for 20+ hours a day and not touched or held, experience lasting neurological changes including shrinking of the volume of gray matter in the brain. Adults deliberately exposed to the common cold virus in a lab are less able to fight off the virus and more likely to experience severe symptoms if they didn’t get many hugs in the two weeks prior to the study.  

2. It can be partially satiated through sex, but doesn’t have to be

The intimacy of sexual activity is a method to satisfy skin hunger, but it’s only one method. Skin hunger isn’t about sex and there are dozens of ways to nurture your need and provide it for others that isn’t inherently sexual or romantic. Examples include:

Hand shakes

high fives

hugs

pats/rubs on the back

shoulder squeezes

nose boops

massages

piggy back rides

dancing

holding hands

linking arms

playing footsies

kisses (on the head, hand, cheek, or lips)

cuddling

using a friend’s shoulder as a pillow while watching TV or riding the bus

stroking their hair

tickling

horseplay (pillow fights, play wrestling, etc.)

sitting on laps are all examples.

3. Tons of people aren’t getting their skin hunger needs met for a host of different reasons

Lots of us are skin starved, but some populations that may experience touch deprivation most include:

Tweens and teens: Have you ever noticed that people in this age group are constantly horsing around, shoving, and playfully hitting each other in the arm? In western social norms, 11-17 years old are often considered too old for kissing and snuggling their parents, and too young to be given privacy for kissing and snuggling a boyfriend or girlfriend. My theory is they turn to tackling each other to meet skin hunger needs.

Elderly: Social isolation and extreme loneliness that can occur in later life as spouses, friends, and family die off has had a well documented affect on touch deprivation and overall health outcomes.

Institutionalized: Whether it’s in a prison or a hospital, there’s been some research on the torture-like effects of going days, months, years, or even decades without human touch as a matter of institutional policy.

Men: Those pesky social norms that make cuddling, hugging, and hand-holding “feminine” behaviors and “feminine” behaviors undesirable has left lots of men folk in severe touch isolation.

All of us: Between ever increasing work commutes keeping people alone and away from their loved ones for more hours of the day, social media that does a phenomenal job of connecting us emotionally but can disconnect us physically, this irksome but prevalent cultural myth that conflates touch with sex, concerns about touch and sexual harassment, and an epidemic of deep chronic loneliness, it’s safe to say many/most/all of us might be a bit skin hungry.

4. Skin hunger is related to violence

Observational research has found a number of correlations between touch and aggression. Researchers observed people sitting with their friends or family members in cafes and restaurants in different nations and noticed how many times they touched each other (leaning against them, rubbing their back while talking, putting an arm around their shoulder, etc). Participants in cultures that experience less violence were observed to touch each other much more than cultures with high rates of violence. Among the highest was France with 110 touches in 30 minutes. In the US it was 2 touches in 30 minutes.

The interactions among low-touch cultures were also more aggressive and violent among the peer group, not just within the country at large. For example, a 30 minute observation showed more pushing, hitting, and aggressive verbal communication among the American participants with low rates of meaningful touch.

5. There have been conscious attempts made recently to meet human touch needs

Skin hunger is a relatively new concept, and it’s starting to be seen a public health issue crucial to our well being . As such, active efforts to bridge the touch gap have been started, and include the free hugs campaign, cuddle parties, professional cuddling businesses, senior care facilities offering training for their staff on touch as part of elder care, and hospital volunteer programs to cuddle sick newborns.

Check back next week for another Top 5 Friday!

Dr. Jill McDevitt is a nationally recognized, San Diego based sexuality educator, speaker, writer, and the resident sexologist at Swiss Navy. She has a BA in Sexuality, Marriage, and Family, MEd in Human Sexuality Education, and PhD in Human Sexuality, which means she is the only known person in the world with all three degrees in sex. It also means she has the coolest job ever!

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Transgender Elders Show Us the Meaning of Survival, pt. 1 (click here for part 2)

For many trans people, representation can be difficult to find, and often one-sided: depicting trans youth but not trans elders. It’s like we don’t have a future, an adulthood, a middle age, an old age. It’s like we just stop. Supporting our young people is important, but we need to show them we have a future, too.

As photographer Jess Dugan explains on her website, “those [representations] that do exist are often one-dimensional.” Dugan set out to fill this representational age gap, teaming up with social work researcher Vanessa Fabbre since fall 2013 to develop the evocative photo project, “To Survive on This Shore.” In the recently released collection, diverse trans elders ages 50 to 86 are pictured at home or in meaningful spaces, gazing unapologetically into the camera, as if asking the viewer to look deeper into their unique context and life story.

(Full Article)

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what the hell is going on in this country?!

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i wanna give a shout out to all lgbt people who thought they were another identity before realizing they were something else. lesbians realizing they’re trans men, bi/pan people realizing they’re a lesbian/gay, binary trans people realizing they’re genderfluid, etc. even if you don’t know if your current identity is the final stop, even if you think it’s a “phase”, or you don’t know what label fits you best, you’re on a journey to self discovery, every step matters, it shapes you into the person you are or aspire to be, and you’re not fake or a bad person for figuring things out.

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Irrelevant 

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It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

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depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.