judastarkid - Tumblr blog

[judastarkid]

no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.

[judastarkid]

Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses

[judastarkid]

this is the ONLY damian wayne design i accept by the way. brown skin, a crooked nose, dark green eyes and thick eyebrows. keep that white-washed monstrosity away from me

[judastarkid]

[judastarkid]

He looks like an old light house keeper

[judastarkid]

He made sure they were recording

[judastarkid]

[judastarkid]

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

[judastarkid]

"womanizer" is one of those words that should mean something other than what it does.

example "i'm a womanizer. i see a guy and i womanize him."

[judastarkid]

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

[judastarkid]

Bit telling that for years and years evangelical religious extremists have been allowed on university campuses with their bullhorns and horrific imagery where they harass students into physical altercations and when students complain to the university’s administration they just shrug their shoulders citing freedom of speech but when those same tuition-paying students start protesting against war and genocide they call SWAT

[judastarkid]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[judastarkid]

[judastarkid]

the thing about the ouran high school host club manga is that if you like ouran the anime and especially tamaharu you basically absolutely have to read it and i'm serious. they were the blueprint for EVERYTHING. daily i think about how when tamaki realized his feelings, he became a disney princess and woke up to a beautiful morning birds flocking towards him eyes sparkling hair flowing in the breeze singing a musical song. and then when haruhi realized their feelings they screamed and cursed god, heaven, hell, this gay earth and their stupid baka life

[judastarkid]

Haruhi joining the Host Club

[judastarkid]

ohshc is the funniest found family of all time because it's really a bunch of wealthy teens + one non-wealthy teen running a host club out of their school's music room for the following reasons:

a hopeless romantic who really does want to make the girls who come to the club happy, but is also completely fucking oblivious to his own romantic feelings

a guy who is literally only in it for the money and the networking

a set of twins who are in it for the lolz (and to find someone who appreciates them as individuals)

a former karate champion who's there because he gets free cake

a guy who never talks and is only here to hang out with the karate champion

a girl who's there because of indentured servitude and everyone likes her in a way that makes them queer.

oh and also there's a random girl who does not go to their school but declared herself their manager and lives under the floorboards

and their nextdoor neighbor is an occultist who's allergic to the sun and carries a cat puppet

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