julesmellark

[julesmellark]

I do hope the publishers know that if the beach kiss isn't in the illustrated Catching Fire then the whole edition will be absolutely pointless.

[julesmellark]

this pain wouldn't be for evermore: chapter 2 is up!

just posted chapter 2 of my Everlark post-MJ growing back together fic!

click here to read!

hope you enjoy :)

[julesmellark]

Everlark endgame hater takes are consistently crazy. What do you mean Katniss “only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame my lifelong fear of pregnancy” Everdeen felt no special love for her children with Peeta? What do you mean Katniss, who made out with a pearl and dreamed of a recently hijacked Peeta coming to cuddle with her after getting shot, settled for him? These takes are almost as delusional as Katniss when she tried to convince herself Peeta wanted to kill her in THG

[julesmellark]

do you ever just sit and think about the “they can pump whatever they want into my arm but it takes more than that to keep a person going once she's lost the will to live” insanity that suzanne was playing with us?

the next level cruelty to make katniss ‘i’m not sure if i can afford to love anyone besides my sister in this dark world’ everdeen fall in love. with a boy seemingly destined to die? leaving katniss to rapidly descend into soul-crushing despair. ready to die as she comes to terms with her lover’s fate.

all while refusing to say those cursed words? that she loves him. traumatized, confused by her intense, raw emotion. desperate that maybe, just maybe, if she doesn’t acknowledge it, they won’t be able to use him against her.

and maybe then he can be saved? saved from the bitter fate that nooses her loved ones. leaving her, the one left behind, to suffer in her hell alone.

always waiting for her boy with the bread to come back for her. just as the bell strikes midnight.

so yeah, do you think about that? because i do.

[julesmellark]

We don't talk about this scene enough

Peeta saying "I wonder how she'll make up her mind" is a HUGE DEAL and I don't see anyone screaming about it so here I go... Katniss at this point considers Peeta to be essentially gone. She thinks he doesn't love her, he called her ugly that one time, he's lost all of their shared memories, he's struggling to believe she's human much less see her as a good person. Katniss is as usual, completely wrong about what's going on in Peeta's head. "I wonder how she'll make up her mind" IS INCLUDING HIMSELF AS AN OPTIONNNNN!!! YOU GUYS!! Peeta doesn't say "oh nah bro you can have her mutt butt" or ANYTHING to indicate he doesn't want her. He's being polite as all hell with Gale and isn't even giving into the anger and jealousy we saw him have about Katniss and Gale when he talked to her in 13 in the dining hall. I know it seems small, but a Peeta that had no romantic interest in Katniss would have had no reason to wonder who she will choose. He REMEMBERS her, he LOVES her your honor!!!!!!!!!!!

[julesmellark]

this pain wouldn't be for evermore

I'm writing an Everlark post-Mockingjay growing back together fic on Ao3!

click here to read! chapter 1 is up and I plan to upload a new chapter every week until it's finished!

[julesmellark]

stop earning advanced degrees i need you to finish your fanfiction

[julesmellark]

evermore (song) is so everlark growing back together even down to the months

“gray november, I’ve been down since july”

what happens in july??? the reaping and then the games… yeah

“hey december, guess I’m feeling unmoored”

we don’t know when exactly the war ends, but maybe taylor guessed around december

“can’t remember what I used to fight for”

katniss used to fight for prim… but we know how that ends. katniss is reflecting on that in the song

she also used to fight for peeta, but with his hijacking, katniss doesn’t know anymore

the beginning of the song is katniss in her depression after the war

“floors of a cabin creaking under my step, and I couldn’t be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be for evermore”

katniss perhaps bringing peeta to the lake, and the cabin at the lake? just a thought… also, the fact that she mentions the pain wouldn’t be for evermore after this…

I could go on and on. let me know if you want a full song analysis because I genuinely believe taylor purposely wrote this song about everlark

as an evermore girlie (and a fellow believer in the fact that it is 100% an everlark album) i literally want nothing more than to hear your thoughts on this!!!

I’m so glad you asked! Here’s my evermolark (or everlamore?) rambling. Song by song I do think it’s mostly Everlark but there are a few Katniss exclusive songs too.

Willow: “rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife” “the more that you say the less I know” “wreck my plans” “head on the pillow I could feel you sneaking in” “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”. So many lyrics about the affect Peeta Mellark has on Katniss Everdeen. Just a nice love song about her longing for her boy who confounds her with the kind way he is

Champagne Problems: “That it’s no good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’ll end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children.” This is Katniss with Peeta at the tracks at the end of the first book and she really is letting the boy down easy because she thinks she’s too confused and messed up. “Love slipped beyond your reaches. And I couldn't give a reason” “She would've made such a lovely bride. What a shame she's fucked in the head” all encapsulate how lost and sad she feels at the end of the book.

Tis the Damn Season: small excerpts of this just remind of the in between situationship Katniss and Peeta had going on from the Victory Tour onwards especially since that was during winter. “And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin. And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own. To leave the warmest bed I've ever known”

Tolerate It: my unpopular opinion is that this isn’t really a Peeta towards Katniss song. Maybe for a bit during the period he was icing her out. But I don’t think Katniss has ever given any indication that she’s not happy to spend time with and have Peeta be around. Any affection he gives is always returned. So I always imagined this was Peeta more towards his family, since they’re the people who he thinks will be fine without him. And his mother definitely wasn’t celebrating his love when her last comment towards her probably dying son is about how Katniss will win.

No Body, No Crime: one of the more out there ones but I could see Hijacked Peeta thinking Katniss was a cheating murderer who should be killed.

Happiness: this is one I can’t even try with, I’m sorry these kids do not act like they think they’ll be happy without the other

Dorothea + Coney Island: this is more Gale and Katniss’s friendship with Gale only clinging to the old familiar image of Katniss he has in his head and slowly all the small things in their friendship are breaking apart and they can’t talk normally and then they’re left with an old shell of a friendship.

Ivy: 100% Katniss falling for Peeta during CF and feeling comfort and hope from him while feeling guilty for hurting Gale and scared of breaking her own promise to herself to not fall in love . “My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand. Taking mine, but it's been promised to another. Oh, I can't. Stop you putting roots in my dreamland. My house of stone, your ivy grows. And now I'm covered in you” perfectly describes Peeta creeping up on Katniss despite her fears.

Cowboy Like Me: while it’s not really about hustling for the good life as much as saving their lives “You're a cowboy like me. Perched in the dark. Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear.Like it could be love. I could be the way forward.Only if they pay for it” is really them lying and playing it up for sponsors and to keep everyone they care about safe. Also “With your boots beneath my bed. Forever is the sweetest con” is about Peeta lying his pants off to save the love of his life and somehow in the end getting to live a peaceful life with her.

Long Story Short: this is the growing back together song for them “No more keepin' score now. I just keep you warm.No more tug of war now. I just know there's more . No more keepin' score now. I just keep you warm. And my waves meet your shore. Ever and evermore” “And he feels like home” all lyrics about Katniss healing and finding peace in Peeta.

Marjorie: Katniss about Prim. Especially with the memory book “And if I didn't know better. I'd think you were listening to me now. If I didn't know better.I'd think you were still around.” “Should’ve kept every grocery receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me”. Just Katniss healing and missing Prim while still keeping her memory alive through choosing to live and remember.

Closure: Katniss gets to this point about Gale a few years after the war. It’s not painful anger anymore but it’s not something that’ll be wrapped up nicely. It’s just something sad that happened that Katniss does not have to dwindle on in terms of their past relationship.

Evermore: Peeta and Katniss early in growing back together when they’re starting to help each other through healing from all the terrible things that have happened to them. The whole song is them from the morose beginning to the tentatively hopeful ending, but especially the line “And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you.”

Right Where You Left Me: Katniss has been traumatized so many times this could apply to a lot but the main two times I can think of is when Peeta is taken away by the Capitol and when Prim dies.”Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?.Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it” describes Katniss’s broken mental state both times.

It’s Time to Go: Katniss doesn’t owe the Capitol or the rebellion or Gale anything at the end of the books. And I do believe as she grows and experiences more peace the lingering sense of always having to pay a debt goes away.