juniorsearcyandbuddy

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 7: Learning Never Ends

My goal for this week's interview was to really dive deep into the topic of making decisions and the thought process behind our choices. The questions I have asked my buddy provide have provided a lot of insight for me on a personal level and to appreciate the connections I have with others.

The Interview

The first question I had for Ms. Michelle was actually the Trolley Problem to which she said she would be too busy overthinking to do anything. Though, if she truly had to choose, it would be to change the trolley's course to run over the one person instead of the five. Ms. Michelle expresses how she tends to freeze in even general situations where immediate action is required.

My next question asks if my buddy makes quick decisions or if she takes her time before making a decision. Her answer somewhat surprised given her eccentric nature. She answers me saying she tends to overthink decisions and even gives an example. Ms. Michelle explains that she will take a long time organizing or even beginning to organize an area because she needs to take time processing many factors like how big of a job it is, how long it will take, and what needs to be done to complete the task.

A Discussion

This interview really surprised me on a more personal level. If i had to confess, this interview provided me a lot more insight towards understanding my buddy. While I had one impression of her, this interview did not necessarily change how I viewed her, but added more information for me to know. In fact, I want to take a second to appreciate how the weekly interviews have brought me closer to who I once simply considered a family friend. I consistently find myself relating with Ms. Michelle from little things to beliefs we have about the world around us. Ultimately, this made me realize that despite the generational differences, I think it is important to find common ground with older people and realize there is always something we can learn from them.

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 6: Understanding Memory

When it came to this week's chapter, I had a lot of questions but boiled them down to two main questions. I wanted to better understand Ms. Michelle's experience by asking deeper questions, which is something I have been actively working on.

The Interview

My buddy's first question from me was a request to describe her attention span and memory, to which she respond she did not have a good memory or attention span. She expresses that she has always had bad memory and a low attention span and suspects she might have an attention deficit because of how easily distracted she can be. My buddy continues saying that her memory has only ever gotten worse as she has gotten older and to that I explain to her the concept of memory self-efficacy. When I explained this concept to her, I followed up with another question wondering if this explanation has changed her view of her own memory and which she understood the concept and that the concept perhaps could change her view of her memory.

My next question for Ms. Michelle asked how she felt about the stereotypes people tend to have about older people when it comes to things like driving and other tasks that require memory and attention. My buddy explained that she actually has mixed feelings and that it is understandable for people to be worried about older people on the road. However, she also believes that young people tend to forget that older people have generally been driving longer than them. Ms. Michelle tells me a story in which a granddaughter of her friend corrected my buddy on how something works. After the younger person went along somewhere else, Ms. Michelle exclaimed to her friend, "Man, I wish I knew everything like teenagers do!"

A Discussion

It is no secret that memory and overall brain function declines as we get older, but a lot can be said when it comes to how we treat our own memory and others. I feel that is important to be understanding of older people when it comes to things like driving and other necessary tasks mainly because we are all going to experience what they're currently experiencing either way. That is not to say we shouldn't take care of ourselves and hope for a good future. I feel that getting older is learning to become more empathetic towards yourself, instead of feeling like everything is "getting worse." In conclusion, we should accept the aging process as it is, instead of trying to avoid it like the plague whilst keeping ourselves in shape for its own sake.

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 5: Alzheimer's Disease

My goal with this week's interview was to focus the conversation on my buddy's experience with Alzheimer's disease and generally observe how over time we as a society have come to take better care of older people's health.

The Interview

For my first question, I asked if Ms. Michelle knew anyone with Alzheimer's disease and her personal experience with that person. Ms. Michelle expressed she knew a person with Alzheimer's who did not have a melancholic personality however. Soon my buddy also admitted that person had went to their daughter's funeral, would flirt with the women there, and his wife would have to remind him who the funeral is for. Additionally, Ms. Michelle opened up to me about another person she knew with Alzheimer's disease and described to me how angry he would feel when he was unable to remember what he was looking for or even where it was. Moreover, my buddy also personally experienced symptoms of Alzheimer's caused by a certain type of unnamed medication that she is no longer taking.

My next question asks about Ms. Michelle's beliefs when it comes to the difference in how we treat older people's health when she was still growing vs. now. To that question, she felt that we have learned so much more since then. When old people had bad memory, people from her generation used to say that they were just "senile," but thanks to advancement in technology and medicine, there are much more professional terms we can use to appropriately describe one's conditions, especially in terms of Alzheimer's. As a follow up question, I asked if she thinks we will be able to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease, to which she expressed, "I choose to believe we'll find a cure."

A Discussion

My main reason for asking my second question is to get a glimpse of how old people were treated in the past in comparison to now. I can see that those who might have shown clear signs of Alzheimer's disease might not have had their health taken seriously. While, yes, I can understand that technology and medicine was not at the potential it is now, therefore it was easier to put a common label, like "senile," on it than do more than what is expected. However, this goes back to our some of our first few chapters where ageism can pop up, especially in the many year before.

Ultimately, this conversation with my buddy was very eye-opening for me as I've never had to experience Alzheimer's disease besides in movies. Even though I have always realized this, it truly is saddening to hear about those with a destructive condition and the emotional turmoil that comes with it. I also hope there comes a point in my life that Alzheimer's disease has a cure.

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 4: Our Perception of Physical Aging

For this week's interview I kept the focus much more on the general topic of physical aging and people's perception of physical aging.

The Interview

Starting with the first question, I asked Ms. Michelle, "As we age, we begin to feel their physical effects in our appearance, our mobility, etc.. What was your first reaction to when you began observing those effects?" Ms. Michelle expresses that she felt prepared for those changes and desires to start going back to the gym. Something you might remember is that my buddy is a strong advocate of living in the moment, so I understood her answer. Instead of worrying about the aging process, she more or less expected it.

For the next question, I wanted to know from my buddy's perspective why people are afraid of aging. She felt that when people are young they can plan for more because they realize when they become older they will not be able to plan as much. Even though Ms. Michelle is a homebody, she loves going to carnivals and riding the scary rides. In addition, my buddy also feels that people are just afraid of death. Especially when you are older, the years begin to go by faster, which means being closer to death. For my last question, I asked if Ms. Michelle has felt any insecurity around the physical changes of the aging process and some advice to getting over those insecurities. My buddy thought very deeply about this question and expressed she has always felt a little bit insecure about her appearance. However, she realizes that as you grow, gravity can also influence the aging process to an extent. When Ms. Michelle was younger, she was always underweight, but she realizes now she does not care about that anymore. My buddy also believes that self-improvement is very important when it comes to dealing with any insecurities about physical change, that is to say we should exercise and eat healthy.

A Discussion

While physical aging can be a scary process, it does not mean you're aging alone. Reading this chapter made me more comfortable with the physical aging process as I became familiar with the signs of aging.

As my buddy has previously expressed, the fear of aging can come from many reason, such as death. I personally fear growing older because of the responsibility of being older. Whatever the case may be for you, we have to realize aging is inevitable and we cannot spend our whole lives trying to convince ourselves we will stay young forever and avoid the effects of aging.

In conclusion, my conversation with my buddy has brought me to fear aging less and embrace it more whilst taking care of myself now so I do not feel the consequences later.

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 2: Society, Life, and Aging

For this week’s interview, I based many of my questions on the social aspect of aging, specifically ageism and feminism, along with asking questions about life changing events. I’m currently minoring in Gender Studies, so I found this aspect of adult development very interesting! Of course, I’m following the same format I did in the first post: interview then discussion. In my discussion, I will give insight on my experience around the same concepts in order to highlight the generational differences between me and my buddy.

The Interview

The first thing I asked my buddy Ms. Michelle was, “How do you think feminism has supported yor in your past? What is your experience with feminism?” My buddy admitted that she was actually very young during the rise of second wave feminism; she heard a lot about it but didn’t know much about it. However, she realizes now it has come such a long way and feels lucky enough to not have directly experienced sexism. Of course there are people she really looks up to who have done a lot for the movement, such as Lucille Ball and her husband Desi Arnaz.

For my next question, I asked about Ms. Michelle’s experience with ageism and, to that, she opens up to me about a specific manager who she used to work with. The manager seemed to be around 24-25 and would always target Ms. Michelle and point out everything she was doing “wrong.” On top of that, the manager would make very ageist remarks. Even though the store manager’s behavior was unnecessary and ageist, my buddy never complained. That was until, the district manager came to visit the workplace and asked Ms. Michelle about anyone possibly being out of bounds and, overall, not being a good co-worker. My buddy reluctantly reported the person who was making ageist remarks towards her and it was then that Ms. Michelle found out that everyone else who worked at that job complained about her.

For my last question, I asked if there was any major event that has had a major impact on Ms. Michelle and if there was anyone that she has made any kind of impact on. Of course, being a mother of 7 children, they have made a huge impact on my buddy. Hurricane Katrina has also made an even bigger impact on her by losing everything due to the harsh storm. It’s because of these events that allowed her to put her life be in God’s hands. This also led my buddy to be on the listen for God’s callings. There were many instances where Ms Michelle would give rides to people on the roads, just trying to get people where they need to be. In one of those instances, she gave a ride for a man who was caring a box full of items, assuming that might have been all the stuff he had owned.

A Discussion

As you can see, my buddy is a very kindhearted person and is always trying to help people out when she can, which is admirable. But something I also want to point out with this is that many people nowadays are majorly obsessed with social media. I bring this up to say when someone is doing a good deed, it gets posted and goes viral. Of course this is not to say good deeds are only happening on camera. However, it feels as though people are so obsessed with attention and validation that posting themselves doing a good deed is their way to getting that. I believe that the difference between my buddy’s generation and my own generation is that social media has dominated so much of our society to the point of recording and posting everything that happens to you or others.

Another generational difference I want to point out is how feminism has evolved over time. While both me and my buddy are aware of the slow progress of the feminist movement, I want to point out how much feminism now includes much more issues than before. For example, feminism now realizes that race and ethnicity, sexuality, class, and disability also play a role in your own experience with a very oppressive society. During the second wave of feminism, minority women were still left out of the movement, but today many advocate for multiple issues that aren’t just exclusive to White people.

Lastly, ageism can come in different shapes and sizes, so it can definitely come from both older adults and young adults. One of Generation Z’s punchlines was simply saying, “ok boomer” to a comment that might have been intentionally or non-intentionally ignorant, especially if the comment was coming from someone older. Additionally, many bosses and managers are in the Baby Boomer generation, so those from that generation report employees who are Generation Z to be lazy and uncooperative, which is rarely true. Either way, it is really important to work through any generational differences or personal problems one might have with another.

In conclusion, these topics really interested me because of how differently it can affect people across generations. It is very easy to let something negative to consume you, so it’s best to reflect on that and ask yourself why does a specific thing might affect you and what you can do to get around that issue.

End.

[juniorsearcyandbuddy]

Chapter 1: The Introduction

Hello, Tumblr! I am Junior Searcy, the creator of this blog, bringing you today my first post with “my buddy.” Although this blog is required for one of my Psychology classes, my goal for this blog is to be able to have fun with this while also sharing the insightful perspective of adult development and aging, specifically with my buddy Ms. Michelle. The specific topics I went over from our textbook “Adult Development and Aging” were individuality, the meaning of age, and identity. Through a showcase of questions I’ve developed, I want to share with you all the life lessons, words of advice, and the personal experience of my buddy and how we—as the younger generation—can learn from it.

To introduce her, Ms. Michelle is a family friend of mine who often immerses herself in crafting. She was born on June 26, 1957, into a big family in Kansas City, Missouri, but was raised in New Orleans, Louisiana. Now that you know a bit of Ms. Michelle and my goals for this blog, let’s get on with my curious questions and her introspective answers!

The Interview

For my first question, I discusses the social pressures of “acting one’s age” and asked my buddy how she sees herself acting older or younger than her age right now or throughout her life. Ms. Michelle relays to me that she has always acted younger than her age and has been told she has acted “childish.” Yet, with this, she always priorities having fun and being comfortable! This is something I can personally relate to, as well! Both my buddy and I simply want others to enjoy themselves!

If I quit having fun, I’m going home!

Onto the second question, I discusses the differences of self-esteem between teenagers versus older adults; teenagers generally having lower self-esteem and old adults generally having higher. When it comes to aging, I wondered if confidence grew as one grows older and asked about my buddy’s experience with self-esteem. My buddy honestly answers that she has had very poor self-esteem, but as she leans on God and does some soul searching, she believes that it has helped a lot with that. She also agrees that confidence is something that builds as most people grow older because of the ability to be independent, such as living on your own, taking care of yourself, or paying bills. However, Ms. Michelle also acknowledges the second-guessing that comes with raising children and how, even they’re adults as well, no one is immune from wondering if they did something wrong. Of course, no parent is perfect and many should also learn that each child is different and should be given different rules. For this, my buddy gives an anecdote about how her first child was a good kid, but her second child “didn’t seem to understand or respect property.”

Enjoy the year that you have… you’ll get a year with every age!

As for my last question, similarly to the last topic, I wanted to know about my buddy’s experience with forming her identity and what advice she might have for the younger generation that are still figuring themselves out. As someone who comes from a family of overachievers, Ms. Michelle’s siblings had a hard time understanding her way of life. Despite having struggled with identity in the past, my buddy strongly believes in the unconditional love of God and that her life is in the hands of the Lord, finding monetary things unnecessary to living a fulfilling life. As for advice, Ms. Michelle advocates for enjoying the age you are right now. “You know, 15 year olds wish they were 16 and the 16 year olds wish they were 18. And 18 year olds want to be 21. And when you’re 30, you want to be 20 again.” Additionally, being true to yourself and never trying to fit into groups that you know you don’t belong in is something that my buddy wants everyone to understand, as well. Something my buddy has pondered about while watching certain television shows is if bullies are aware of the fact they are the villain in the scene. This conversation also leads Ms. Michelle to tell a story about how she tried to be friends with this girl who was often bullied in her class growing up, yet the girl was extremely defensive. Because of her defensive behavior, my buddy, still feeling empathy for the girl, did not want to bother her anymore and were never able to be friends. Some more advice, Ms. Michelle offers is being a person before becoming a couple, and becoming a couple before becoming a family. As someone who was married and pregnant while still in high school, this piece of advice is something she feels is very important for everyone!

A Discussion

To conclude my first post, I wanted to also discuss the ways me and my buddy are different generationally. As someone who is still young and has yet to experience my first long term relationship, I never might grow up to raise children and understand what it’s like to doubt myself, just as she did. Ms. Michelle’s responses mostly surrounded her life as a mother and, while that is extremely admirable and should never be looked down upon, I feel that is something that really highlights the difference between her and myself. Because of how much I prioritize my education and career goals over relationships, I honestly see a future for myself where I’ll have cats as my children. Even though some people in the present might still be pressured to have kids, Baby Boomers must have had that idea shoved down their throats as soon as they were teenagers. All-in-all, I enjoyed having this interview with my buddy and I’m excited to learn more about her life and to receive more advice.

End.