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[just-a-shark333]

lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"

meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction

(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)

we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off

he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"

doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"

[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]

"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool

candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"

ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"

candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"

we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."

the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"

it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.

the court case continues.

meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.

back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.

meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.

isabella gets her fireside girls badge.

candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.

mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.

back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.

roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"

this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.

doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.

perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"

the end.

[just-a-shark333]

Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

[just-a-shark333]

On my Kunikida has a history of getting in trouble with law enforcement, shit.

And well Kunikida can't afford a lawyer so the rest of the OG Agency 4 all get involved.

Katai: Your honour my client would like to plead Gemini.

Ranpo: Your honour, respectfully you weren't fucking there.

Yosano: Your honour, my client is the power house of the cell.

Ranpo: Your honour if my client was lying, than why are his pants not on fire?

Katai: Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the chat.

Yosano: Your honour my client pleads oopsie daisy.

Somehow, this works...everytime.

[just-a-shark333]

Thinking about Tachihara in the Port Mafia who hides his injuries behind nonchalance. And than bandages his wounds in his flat alone.

No matter how bad they are. Tachihara never gets medical attention. He tells himself its too keep his cover but all his scars are hidden.

Like the government would let their shiny new toy have so much as a scratch. (He tries not to think about how pissed they'll be because he's definitely got scars from these fights.)

"Tachihara, stop you're going to aggravate your wounds" snapped Akutugawa, hiding his own concern.

"I'm fine big bro, a little stab never hurt anyone." Said Tachihara, a lazy smile on his face.

Like this was any other day and he wasn't currently being held up by Hirotsu and Gin. A hand pressing against said wound.

"I called the nearest medics, they're prepared for our arrival." Said Higuchi, rushing back over to join them all. Akutugawa nods in acknowledgement, about to rely the news.

And pauses seeing the look on Tachihara's face. His smile is gone and he shuffles away from a now concerned Hirotsu and Gin.

"No... No..." He shakes his head, growing pale and it had nothing to do with the wound.

"Kid, it's okay." Hirotsu's calm words don't reach him. Tachihara shakes his head, more aggressively this time. "No... No... You can't, I won't... It's not time... You can't make me."

They all guessed Tachihara was afraid of hospitals given his aversion to them. But this... This pure terror.

Gin thinks back to when the Boss has his scalpel out. How Tachihara looks like he's listening, but his gaze seems to lock onto it.

As if it were a gun pointed at him.

Gin frowns, exchanging a look with her brother, Higuchi and Hirotsu. A silent conversation seems to pass through them all.

Something that only works because of how close they are. "Okay" Says Hirotsu, his voice not wavering from it's calm.

Tachihara looks up at at him, confusion breaking through the panic.

"I'll get the equipment delivered, we're not too far from the nearest safe house" Said Higuchi, Akutugawa nods. "I'll intercept it with you, call the team."

He faces Tachihara "no hospital" he says clearly and carefully. The look Tachihara gives him makes Akutugawa want to kill someone.

Because no one, no one should look that afraid and hopeful at not being given professional aid.

Some medical personal must've hurt Tachihara. And by the looks of him, it wasn't just once.

Akutagawa can see the anger in everyone else. Higuchi's grip on her phone tightens, there's a darkness to Hirotsu's eyes.

And for but a second Gin looks downright murderous before silently comforting Tachihara.

"No... No hospitals" repeats Tachihara, he looks so utterly small and frail. He nods slowly, letting himself lean against Hirotsu.

Hirotsu who holds him just that bit closer and firmer. "No hospitals" repeats Hirotsu, gently guiding him and Gin to the safe house.

Higuchi calls, Akutugawa gives some very encouraging threats. And before they know it Tachihara has been bandaged up and is snoozing peacefully.

Using Akutugawa's coat as a blanket.

The stabber would get whats coming to them. As would the one who instilled such a fear in Tachihara. No one hurt one of they're own and got away with it.

[just-a-shark333]

@kunikidasfatass

I had to

[just-a-shark333]

Josuke tries to come out while Joseph chokes on tacos ft. Tonio and Jotaro

originally posted on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/43214907

Summary: Josuke tries to come out to his dad, and Jotaro is there to support him while Joseph tries to eat 12 Tacos in one go.

Words : 1 569

Content:

It was now or never. Josuke had spent the night before and this morning psyching himself up for this, practicing what he’d say in the mirror.

“Dad..” he began, toward his reflection whilst perfecting his pompadour.

The words ‘Dad’ still felt odd on his tongue. Despite Joseph being biologically his father, the idea of actually calling him 'Dad' filled Josuke with a strange discomfort., Mr. Joestar wasn’t something he could use as an alternative as he was going to tell him something so intimate, coming out to him was a massive deal. Perhaps he’d refrain from referring to him by any name whatsoever.

Josuke took a deep breath and stood up straight, staring deep into his own eyes. “I have something very important to tell you.” he asserted whilst checking his outfit.

He quickly decided that this was the perfect tone of voice to use. It sounded sure and demanded Joseph’s full attention without sounding too demanding, just the way he wanted.

“Josuke! Hurry up!” He heard his mother’s voice yell from downstairs. “You said you were going to be leaving at 11:20 and it’s 11:25.”

“Shoot-”

–

He’d just about made it in time.

Joseph was already standing outside Tonio’s with Jotaro by his side. As soon as Joseph saw Josuke he waved and beckoned him over.

“Hey, there you two!” Josuke said as he approached the two in a small jog.

“Hey, Josuke!” Joseph chimed with a wide grin.

“Hello,” Jotaro replied, voice flat as usual.

Josuke had already told Jotaro about his sexuality. Last week specifically and the guy was perfectly fine with it. He’d supported Josuke, and given him a pat on the back to stop his crying, he’d even helped him tell his mom about his sexuality so he had also decided to help him with telling his father. Once he did this he’d really have done everything he needed to for now, he’d feel like he could rest awhile and settle into his new life.

Of course he knew coming out is a lifelong journey but having all of his friends know about this part of himself, his family AND having a great boyfriend like Okuyasu just put him at ease, made him feel like he’d done enough work for now and forever.

“Shall we go inside?” Jotaro asked, he seemed to be watching Josuke’s expression very carefully.

Josuke swallowed as he gazed at the front door of Tonio’s and gave a slow nod in response.

–

They’d all ordered. Josuke had gone with “whatever is good today.” As much as he loved Tonio’s food he didn't have the energy to decide on something. His nerves had consumed him. Tonio had decided to treat Josuke and Jotaro to a nice Spaghetti and spent a while bragging to Jotaro about just how great this meal would be despite Jotaro’s blatant disinterest.

Joseph ordered 12 fucking tacos. Now, one may ask themselves ‘why were Tacos an option at an Italian restaurant?’

Well, our answer to that is “For the plot of the story of course” Tonio said with a smirk and brought out the large dish of 12 neatly lined up thick tacos, glad to be finally relevant to a Jojo’s fanfiction.

Josuke thanked Tonio for the meal and began mentally preparing himself for the vital moment whilst pushing his spaghetti around the plate and occasionally eating some. It was delicious but he couldn't enjoy it.

Should he tell him after they finish eating or should he just go ahead and take the leap of faith right now? Sure Joseph was a pretty old guy and for that reason, he had initially decided to keep this side of himself from him however Joseph would leave for America soon, if he wasn’t too happy with this he could just try his very best to move on- he didn't even see the man as his father anyways.

Joseph shoveled what looked like a chain of tacos down his throat. All 12 of them were connected in this long rope-like thing dripping with sauce, salad, and copious amounts of cheese, it was one of those sights that look so unhealthy and so large that you feel slightly sick looking at it. Why was this a meal option at an Italian restaurant again?? Why had Joseph even ordered this?

Josuke nodded toward Joseph clearly giving him the thumbs up, Josuke decided to speak up. He took a deep breath. Wait- what the hell should he even say? His mind was blank despite his desperate scramble to recall what he had prepared this morning.

“Old man,” He heard Jotaro say from across the table, interrupting his thoughts, “Josuke has something important to tell you.”

“MKJHEIBSJBIUGEB,” Joseph replied, trying to speak whilst having his sixth taco halfway into his mouth whilst he struggled to force the fifth one which was lodged in his throat down due to the fourth one not having been properly chewed whilst the remains of the third leaked from the corners of his mouth in a messy froth of sauce and meat. He gripped the sides of the table as he attempted to wheeze out the blockage however all he could do was sweat and muffle desperate choked cries.

Thank god Jotaro had helped him out there. Josuke took a deep breath after he’d gotten this reply from Joseph and spoke. "I have something very important to tell you”

He held his breath bracing himself to speak the next words, using Jotaro's reassuring look from across the table as encouragement.

“JEHEUJHAHSJDEHEBJ” Joseph replied as he slammed his fists against the table desperately, hacking chunks of the mixture so squashed that you'd be shocked to discover it used to be a taco all over the table, painting it in saliva, vomit, cheese, and hot sauce.

"I'm gay."

“YUGUHGUGUG” Joseph's head slammed into the remaining tacos splattering huge meaty white and brown chunks all over the walls and floor of Tonio and his face sank into the meal.

The other diners in the room couldn't contain their gasps. How could anybody say such a thing? Sure he was practically ancient but not even the most homophobic old men could come up with something that offensive.

Jotaro narrowed his eyes. "Old man, this is your son, what the hell is wrong with you?" He gave him a gentle punch, however, his face clearly showed he wished to hit way harder. Jotaro furrowed his brow and awaited the man's response, hoping he'd give the right one this time. Jotaro nowadays wasn't one to outright express anger unless he really needed to but homophobia like this just wouldn't fly.

Josuke looked toward his meal, tapping his finger against the metal fork creating a steady consistent clink sound in an attempt to ground himself. He didn't know what to expect going into this and had prepared himself for the worst, yet, it still really hurt. The idea that a part of himself, a part that has always been with him, sickened his father to this extent. His insides were jelly due to the strength it took to keep his thoughts running at a million miles per hour.

"I'm sor-" Josuke heard himself mutter, hanging his head low.

"Don't apologize Josuke, the old man is in the wrong here." Jotaro interrupted, voice booming. "What the hell do you have to say for yourself?!"

Joseph shot up and began quickly spinning around, bits of food that painted his face flying around as he did so. The snake of Taco’s leaking from his mouth swirling around with him as the small corners of his mouth that remained unclogged leaked with drool and vomit. Was he trying to wriggle it out like a worm?

"Huh?! Do you think it's okay to treat your son like that? Why the hell would you say that? Do you know how hard it was for him to come out to you? To tell you such an intimate thing about himself…!" Jotaro spat, fists clenched. "You are a terrible father."

"Hypocrite," a random customer said.

"Huh?"

Silence.

"Are all of you enjoying your me- MAMA MIA!" They heard the clatter of a metal dish against the hard floor ring throughout the restaurant. The room shifted their focus from the rather emotional scene to Tonio who was standing at the door from the Kitchen. "Is he okay?!" He shrieked in a frantic dash toward Joseph.

Jotaro shook his head.

"He's a homophobe Tonio."

Tonio gasped. Joseph did the worm. He’d gotten one Taco out finally but he still had way more to unlodge and limited time before he’d suffocate.

"I- I’m shocked." He looked toward Joseph.

“HGUYGUEGUYG” Joseph said as he rolled around on the group, clothes catching the vomit chunks on them and crushing them against the fabric of his now slimy jacket which definitely was going to reek for weeks if he survived this.

"Hey! YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT JOSEPH YOU AREN'T GAY!"

“E8u8982989jjhuh” Joseph was B-boying on the ground with flexibility no 79-year-old should have.

The entire room was filled with gasps and shrieks, even Josuke couldn't suppress his reaction.

"Oh my god, why would you say such a thing..!" Tonio yelled in shock.

Jotaro shook his head and stood, clearly biting back his rage, "let's get out of here Josuke."

"L- let's do that.." Josuke replied, still shocked from the amount of blatant homophobia he'd just experienced.

[just-a-shark333]

Luffy: Hey I've been meaning to ask this for a while but are you okay?

Sabo: Yes? Why? Do I not look okay?

Luffy: I just mean you had amnesia for ten years. I've never had memory loss but that's kind of a long time, right?

Sabo: Oh! Oh, yeah, I'm totally fine, Luffy! I don't think it really effected me that much!

Luffy: Ah, good.

Luffy: *leaves the area*

Sabo, turning to Ace: I'm not okay. I'm so not okay. Every time I look at my reflection I feel like I'm gonna throw up my appendix. If I'm not consistently focusing I start to dissociate and someone has to shake me like a broken glow stick to bring me back. I was in a coma for three days when my memories returned and the head medic said I had a fever of a hundred and four and that he was shocked I didn't die. I'm like so not good but if I tell Luffy the truth he'll just worry.

Ace: Dude....

[just-a-shark333]

fic where double black go to fight shibusawa but come back with a white haired kid shibusawa was torturing

[just-a-shark333]

sometimes a family is you and the rude and sarcastic little man who lives in your head.

[just-a-shark333]

every time i see someone call kunikida mentally stable i spit because its just so untrue, you're so wrong its annoying 🙄

[just-a-shark333]

dazai making up a whole language with fyodor that no one else can understand is amazing but imagine him using codes that, very objectively speaking, you could crack, it's just that no normal person would ever make the insane leaps in logic that it requires. except for someone familiar with dazai's weird thinking patterns, that is.

i just love the idea of dazai's unhinged antics being dialed up to an eleven when he was in the port mafia, and oda being the only one who simply wouldn't bat an eye at it but chuuya was the only one who would actually get it.

like imagine ango at the end of the jailbreak, his boss saying he should allow himself to sigh and lean back and maybe indulge himself, pat him on the shoulder, tell him what he pulled off reading heart rates wasn't easy and he should be proud for being able to keep up with such a plan

but ango i-drank-with-teenage-dazai-and-also-had-the-records-for-every-soukoku-mission sakaguchi can only remember the time dazai was like using greek sign language through his breathing patterns to communicate from a submarine from beneath the pacific ocean or something, and chuuya could not fathom how no one else could understand him.

and that was the day mori signed off on skk being exclusive partners because every subordinate in the room was crying tears of blood by the time chuuya finished explaining which blood pressure level was warning them about a bomb, which blinking sequence was him conveying the vault password and which series of inhales was just him calling mori a bitch.

(ango also pointedly did not want to think about how smug dazai had looked after the mission when mori confirmed skk would only be each others' partners for efficiency and to maintain everyone else's sanity

or about how when he called chuuya to tell him about dazai's prison break scheme he could only get like 3 out of 276 steps into the plan before chuuya rolled his eyes, said "got it" then hung up and pulled the whole thing off without a hitch.)

[just-a-shark333]

the ada starts making dazai text kenji everytime he does sm good or productive during his depressive eps bc they figure some of the positivity has to rub off on him eventually (it does)

dazai: just ate a whole bowl of soup

kenji: yes!!

kenji: soup is good!!

kenji: what soup?

dazai: chicken

kenji: WOW!! That’s amazing!!

kenji: chicken soup is amazing!

dazai: :)

//

dazai: I took a shower today

kenji: !!!

kenji: that’s so incredible!!

kenji: it must’ve been so refreshing!

dazai: it was 👍

kenji: I’m very happy you did that!!

kenji: so proud!

//

he also sends him motivational quotes and dazai finds them funny so they end up working pretty well

[just-a-shark333]

Atsushi who walks through the halls and keeps to the shadows. His footsteps are light and he knows which floorboards will creak and where.

Atsushi who hates pain but has such a high threshold for it. He loses limbs without so much as a flinch. Never does Atsushi show when he's in pain.

That always made his punishments worse.

Atsushi who does his chores with military perfection that's been drilled into him. He scrubs the floors till his hands are red and raw.

One mistake and he'll start over again, just like he was taught.

Atsushi who despite his appearance knows how to blend in a crowd. He can make himself invisible like it's second nature.

Because at the Orphanage having attention on you was a death sentence.

Atsushi who can't lie because that was it's own death sentence. But he can act. His smiles always look genuine no matter what. Maybe he can lie because everything about him definitely is one.

Atsushi who doesn't cry because according to him he lost that privilege long ago... But when Atsushi does cry he's completly silent.

[just-a-shark333]

I love great white sharks because from the side they look like murder torpedoes

But from the front they are GOOD and ROUND

Round potato bois

[just-a-shark333]

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

[just-a-shark333]

minimum wage worker fyodor dostoevsky

inspo: @aroacesigma (<- designed him in papa's freezeria deluxe)

[just-a-shark333]

he hehehe ! you found my post!!

ur pretty.

no take backs no take backs you have to deal with it