just33rants-blog

[just33rants-blog]

new to this kind of thing

ive been told i should start some kind of journal or blog to vent out my thoughts and help with anxiety... Honestly i feel like i have a hell of a lot to say all the time but i hate ranting to people so maybe this actually will help.  well im really tired right now so I think ill start actually writing some things tomorrow.  One thing I do have to say that I cant stop thinking about is that It is very hard to start life completely over after 10 years of having someone right by my side all the time. Whether it was Michael and I talking about random things and sometimes getting deep while acting like complete fools :D,  or if it was Erica and I stopping this spinning world by just embracing each other and knowing that we would be there no matter what (as i recently was surprised to learn was false).  It feels odd not having them with me, and i have to admit I feel pretty lonely at the moment.  Ive made some really great friends out of these recent crazy years and i shouldn’t feel that way, but i guess it just hurts to lose a bond that you treasured.

I feel like i have an overwhelming amount of decisions to make in a very short amount of time right now about my life and where I want it to be.  Between “coming out”, spending five months in a terrible place, and dealing with my recent diagnosis of Dysthymia and Major Anxiety  (two things I hypocritically never acknowledged until recently and feel stupid for) Ive been finding the world to be spinning way too fast.  One thing I’m sure of is that i need to start living a much more open minded life... I want to start meditating and stop being so angry.  I really need to get more organized

Not to sure what else to write but i can see why this is therapeutic. 

Walter, Sarah, Daniel... if you guys ever see this.Thanks for being a friend ***Golden Girls Song Voice****

[just33rants-blog]

Well here we go