justablip

[justablip]

“hey, mr. adult. glad you’ve finally caught up with the rest of us.” it’s said with a shit-eating grin, arm slung across jeremy’s shoulders. it’s just them right now, christine preparing some kind of surprise. like last year his gift isn’t anything big, a small trinket he saw at the mall that immediately brought jeremy to mind. “happy 18th, jer.” - amazingfeat

birthday boy !!

Michael’s cheshire-esque grin is infectious, and Jeremy finds a smile slipping onto his features in turn— softer, but just as bright. He rolls his eyes with the first comment, leaning into his side ( unaware that he’s even doing so ; falling into Michael is second nature ). The adult part hasn’t quite sunk in, and Jeremy’s sure later he’s going to panic about that fact, but for now he just wants to enjoy his birthday with his two favorite people. Smile grows a touch at the little trinket, turning his hips so he’s facing Michael a bit more directly, leaning forward to hover his lips. 

“Thanks,” ( a quick, chaste kiss ). “—love you.” 

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caffeine is stored in the me

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STRANGE AEONS — WE MADE A LONG FURBY / SENTENCE STARTERS

‘ I don’t do things with my life. ‘ 

‘ This weekend, I am, in fact, doing something with my life. ‘ 

‘ Perhaps I haven’t gone that far. ‘ 

‘ I’ve become someone who, at least, unironically appreciates the art of the furby. ‘ 

‘ We will find out what a furby spine looks like there. ‘ 

‘ You need to emotionally prepare. ‘ 

‘ He doesn’t look like he wants to be damp. ‘ 

‘ You don’t know where he’s been! ‘ 

‘ This is real life! ‘ 

‘ Beans have been removed from boy. ‘ 

‘ I don’t think I’ve had that experience. ‘ 

‘ These are all good options. ‘ 

‘ What a beautiful man. ‘ 

‘ This is about to get so much worse. ‘ 

‘ You’re truly a modern doctor frankenstein. ‘ 

‘ I’m gonna pop another lung! ‘ 

‘ Thats really a thing that I’m seeing with my eyes, isn’t it. ‘ 

‘ He has no blood! It’s fine! ‘ 

‘ He in there. ‘ 

‘ It’s the perfect opportunity to put like the shitty buzzfeed diy music in the background. ‘ 

‘ It’s because I don’t own a meter stick, due to being a dumbass. ‘ 

‘ That little bitch over there is just not functioning. ‘ 

‘ So what’s going on over here right now? ‘ 

‘ We’re actually just sewing furbies together. ‘ 

‘ They grow up so quickly! ‘ 

‘ A majestic creature. ‘ 

‘ Whom is he? ‘ 

‘ Tell me your secrets. ‘ 

‘ I’m just having a good time. ‘ 

‘ We’ve just completed this monstrosity. ‘ 

‘ I feel like he’s gonna turn around and look at me right now. Like, thats the vibe I’m getting. ‘ 

‘ Little bastard man do not touch that! ‘ 

‘ He has arrived. ‘ 

‘ Furbies traditionally have really weird names. ‘ 

‘ But that’s just how todays been for me. ‘ 

‘ I feel like there are people who have a solid answer on this, who could write essays on this but I am not one of those people. ‘ 

‘ But my budget is like, four dollars and a single can of chickpeas. ‘ 

‘ He’s so wonky, but he’s perfect. ‘ 

‘ This is not how I expected to become a mother. ‘ 

‘ Is he okay? Is he good? ‘ 

‘ This is the best we can do. ‘ 

‘ You’re just elbow deep in a furby tube, on a saturday night. ‘ 

‘ Let’s see how long we’ve really been at this fuckery. ‘ 

‘ He looks like the world’s dumbest caterpillar. ‘ 

‘ Absolutely worth it. ‘ 

‘ The furby has risen from the destruction. ‘ 

‘ And one apathetic little potato, in the middle of it all. ‘ 

‘ Just take in the look. ‘ 

‘ We out here — ooh! ‘ 

‘ Tune in next time, kids. ‘ 

‘ Damn, that person is living their best life. They give zero fucks. ‘ 

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MUSE BODY LANGUAGE.

bold or italicize what you apply to your muse.

tagged by: @amazingfeat tagging: anyone !

DEFENSIVENESS.

arms crossed on chest.  //  crossing legs.  //  fist-like gestures.  //  pointing index finger.  //  karate chops.  //  stiffening of shoulders. //  tense posture.  //  curling of lip.  //  baring of teeth.

REFLECTIVE.

hand-to-face gestures.  //  head tilted.  //  stroking chin.  //  peering over glasses.  //  taking glasses off — cleaning.  //  putting earpiece of glasses in mouth.  //  pipe smoker gestures.  //  putting hand to bridge of nose.  //  pursed lips, knitted brows.

SUSPICION.

arms crossed.  // sideways glance. //  touching or rubbing nose.  // rubbing eyes.  //  hands resting on weapon.  //  brows raising.  //  lips pressing into a thin line.  //  strict, unwavering eye contact.  //  wrinkling of nose.

OPENNESS & COOPERATION.

open hands.  //  upper body in sprinters position.  //  sitting on edge of chair.  //  hand-to-face gestures.  // unbuttoned coat.  //  tilted head.  //  slacked shoulders, droopy posture.  //  feet pointed outward.  //  palms flat and facing outward.  //  chin up.

CONFIDENCE.

hands behind back.  //  hands on lapels of coat.  //  steepled hands.  //  baring teeth in a grin.  //  rolling shoulders.  //  tipping head back but maintaining eye contact.  //  chest puffed up.  //  shoulders back.  //  arms folded just above navel.

INSECURITY & ANXIETY.

chewing pen or pencil.  //  rubbing thumb over opposite thumb.  //  biting fingernails.  //  hands in pockets. //  elbow bent/closed gestures.  //  clearing throat.  //  “whew” sound.  //  picking or pinching flesh.  //  fidgeting in chair.  //  hand covering mouth whilst speaking.  //  poor eye contact.  //  tugging at pants whilst seated.  //  jingling money in pockets.  //  tugging at ear.  // perspiring hands.  //  playing with hair.  //  swaying.  //  playing with pointer/marker. //  smacking lips.  // sighing.  //  rocking on balls of feet.  //  flexing fingers sporadically.

FRUSTRATION.

short breaths.  //  “tsk” sounds.  //  tightly-clenched hands.  //  fist-like gestures.  //  pointing index finger.  //  rubbing hand through hair.  // rubbing back of neck.  //  snarling.  //  revealing teeth/grimacing.  // sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in brow.  //  shoulders back, head up — defensive posturing.  //  clenching of jaw/grinding teeth.  //  nostrils flaring.  //  heavy exhales.

[justablip]

reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.

[justablip]

He straight up drank half slushie tank without even taking a break to breath, we are scared of him. 

Please proceed with caution! 

[justablip]

“it’s like i’m getting fucking stabbed.” - amazingfeat

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XV ※

He’s hovering the edge of the chair, Michael’s hand tight in his own as gaze flicks between his friend’s expression and the tattoo gun currently pressed against his upper arm. It had been Michael’s idea, and therefore Michael had to go first— for which Jeremy is both thankful and horrified by. Watching the process on someone just as clueless as he is gives a pretty good indication of what he’s in for. And while the idea of matching tattoos sounds awesome, he’s beginning to wonder if it’s worth this ; a sketchy parlor that didn’t require any parental permission, a half-baked idea ( originally a joke— really, what were they thinking? ) and a needle gun. 

“Right, uh– dumb question. Sorry.” 

[justablip]

“did you just eat that?” - amazingfeat

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XV ※

“—was I not supposed to?” 

[justablip]

hellyeahrpmemes :

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XV ※

starters from jenna’s 11 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences

MAKING MY DOGS HOMEMADE DOG TREATS

“One of my favorite things about being an adult is having dogs.”

“Hi, welcome to I Feel Guilty.”

“I imagine this might present some problems at some point.”

“The best part about cooking is eating something while you’re cooking.”

“All you have to do is just sit down.”

“I stole all of these recipes straight from Pinterest.”

“I struggle with everything I do.”

“What, is this not entertaining to you?”

“Were you jealous of this the whole time?”

“Wow, finally, some appreciation.”

“So, funny thing, I didn’t read that whole thing.”

“I’ve dirtied a dish that didn’t need to be dirtied.”

“I doubt he’s gonna eat any of this.”

“I slaved over that for hours, what do you mean you’re not gonna try it?”

“See? I told you you were gonna have a good time, you just didn’t believe me.”

“Nobody cares about me or my efforts.”

“All in a day’s work of love.”

“Was it necessary? No.”

“I feel like it’s a nice gesture that says I’m sorry for being busy lately.”

“Now I feel guilty that it’s taken me this long to do this.”

“I’m spiraling into guilt.”

“I’m just trying to make something nice for them and they’re not gonna appreciate it.”

“It’s like I’m getting fucking stabbed.”

“We tried, they hated it.”

“You sat in a chair and you screamed the entire time.”

GIVING MYSELF A LASH PERM

“It looks ridiculous. It looks insane.”

“There’s only eight steps. Seems legit.”

“I literally don’t have any q-tips.”

“I didn’t need that brush at all.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I want that to be me and I want it now.”

“I didn’t know that it didn’t come with it.”

“Don’t say that kind of thing to me.”

“I had that backwards in my mind.”

“This is, like, truly impossible.”

“I need to look up a YouTube video…”

“It’s gonna be fine, it’s fine, this is fine.”

“I know this doesn’t look like progress, but I think we’ve made progress.”

“Y’all might be laughing now, but y’all are gonna be fucking jealous.”

“This is already an improvement. Sort of.”

“If you’re gonna come in here with your judgement, just know you’re not welcome.”

“My dreams are being crushed right now.”

“This is right. I’ve just gotta keep telling myself that.”

“I’m gonna sit here silently for twelve minutes.”

“Stay with me, I’m scared.”

“I think some of it got in my eye.”

“Are you saying I got got?”

“I’m gonna wait until you’re at your most vulnerable state to get you back for that.”

“I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, but it’s just not working.”

“What, do you think I breathe through my eyes?”

“This one is just so sad…”

“These look nothing like the pictures of people online.”

“Maybe it’s because you blindfolded yourself with plastic.”

“Tell me that it’s a drastic change.”

“My right eye betrayed me, my boyfriend betrayed me.”

“Is this a look that I’m really trying to keep? Not really.”

“Please give me a dramatic response.”

“Now is when I leave.”

“Next time, lock your phone.”

THRIFT STORE ROULETTE

“Did you get my prom stuff here?”

“That’s the rule. I don’t make the rules.”

“They go together like ham and peanut butter.”

“You let me walk into you.”

“I think you’re just making up rules, now.”

“I think it’s a good look.”

“I don’t see what’s wrong.”

“I got a pair of jean overalls, because I’m at that point in my life where those seemed appealing.”

“You look half-superhero, half-going out to shovel your driveway.”

“I’m not going to some kid’s soccer game that isn’t my kids.”

“I feel like stirrups should come back.”

“I like this. This is fun. Everything smells weird, but it’s fun.”

“I look like Dora the Explorer explored a little too far into the garbage.”

“I don’t think those are gonna fit.”

“That is my favorite outfit you’ve ever worn.”

“That is someone’s kink right now.”

“Wearing a hat and a vest doesn’t make you a cop.”

“Why does that look good on you?”

“Do I look like somebody’s mother?”

“Arrest me, space cowboy with no jurisdiction in this area.”

I WANT TO BE A TOOTHBRUSH FOR HALLOWEEN

“I want to be a toothbrush for Halloween.”

“Do you think this is funny?”

“Come this way… psych, we’re going this way.”

“My favorite material to work with is foam.”

“A couple years ago, I was a lion’s Maine… No one understood what it was.”

“I know that straws can be a little problematic.”

“What ever happened to the trick part of trick or treat?”

“You upset everyone…!”

“Sketch me like one of your French boys.”

“Oh, no… it’s too thicc with two Cs.”

“What does it look like, my dream?”

“I’m short as hell, huh?”

“Are you creating a sad portrait of a middle aged lady in her home alone making herself a toothbrush costume? How dare you…!”

“That was my logic, and I have flawless logic.”

“What are you gonna be for real for Halloween, though, Julien, with that mustache and that butt?”

“I need help, I cut myself.”

“Are you calling me a horse…?”

“Hello, do you care? Care about my things…!”

“Stop recording me struggling, record me winning.”

“It’s a lot of math, so I just stopped doing it.”

“I’m excited, I think I’m gonna look real cute. And if I don’t, I’m gonna be pissed.”

MY DOGS TRY ON HALLOWEEN COSTUMES 2

“I wouldn’t say they like it, but I don’t really care.”

“I don’t care about your feelings, you’re gonna look cute, and you’re gonna like it.”

“Wow, high quality, already coming apart.”

“It was a day that we all needed it, it was the day after the presidential election, whatever.”

“It’s like trying to dress a tomato.”

“Are you happy? Are you pleased with yourself?”

“I think you forgot where you were for a majority of that time.”

“It matches your terrifying personality.”

“This is the point of Halloween. You scare other people with your costume, your costume doesn’t scare you.”

“My chair, get out.”

“Don’t repeat that story to anyone.”

“It’s not an elaborate costume, but it sure is something.”

“Wow, are you proud of that?”

“Are you annoyed with me?”

“I only make you do it once a year.”

“You know that you look really handsome.”

“Join us in the present.”

“You’re ruining the picture.”

“You have a sea witch to keep up a bargain with.”

“Wait, that was really sad.”

“This is my favorite thing I own now. It’s a red wig for dogs.”

“It is the best thing I’ve ever spent my money dollars on.”

“This is the best thing ever.”

“Nothing makes me happier than a dog in a wig.”

REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 6

“That’s why you look familiar, you’re the toothbrush girl…!”

“It’s evil. It’s pure evil.”

“I’m not really aware of how much noise I make.”

“Tell me that’s not the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen.”

“What are you even saying?”

“To think that I was alone in the house with that for hours…”

“He’s alone with his hot girlfriend.”

“Every week, you are on a different planet.”

“I just have a lot of goals.”

“Why is that not a valid goal?”

“What the fuck is on my face?”

“This is me having a good time.”

“Do I have a problem with singing Disney songs?”

“You’re just waiting to make some joke.”

“It’s Halloween, I’m trying to get scared.”

“My hands are not sweaty… oh, they’re very sweaty.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening…!”

LET’S ACRYLIC POUR

“Oil paint is not the paint for me.”

“I can’t really draw or paint or think in general.”

“Did you just eat that?”

“You’re not allowed anywhere near the paint.”

“I’m really excited for that.”

“I know that there’s no rules.”

“I’m really overwhelmed by choices.”

“My inspiration is the colors blue and yellow.”

“Am I ruining it? Did I ruin it?”

“Why are you covered in paint?”

“You need no skills, though.”

“Do I have a hard time following directions?”

“I call this one Hellscape.”

“I can’t tell if I like this or not.”

“You don’t keep acrylic paintings, you throw them out and you burn them.”

“Is that what art is like?”

“This would be fun to do drunk.”

“It feels terrible, but also great at the same time.”

“It’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows: the high of doing it, and the low of actually looking at it.”

GIVING MYSELF A BEARD

“I just would really enjoy some actual facial hair.”

“Am I the only person that just desperately wants a beard?”

“I wanna put this on, and that’s it.”

“I can’t be alone. There has to be more of us out there.”

“It’s creepy because you’re making it creepy.”

“Who are the people that make these?”

“I didn’t ask for that, for sure.”

“I need to do whatever the fuck I want.”

“You look like an extra on Westworld.”

“Look how much better my life is.”

“Why is growing a beard exclusive content?”

“I wanna live like this.”

“I don’t know why, but now I have a Southern accent.”

“I adore wearing this, I wanna wear this all the time.”

“You’re just so supportive of me, all the time.”

“Boy, you thought this was over.”

COOKING THANKSGIVING FOOD

“The fatigue of just being alive is really starting to set in.”

“It’s a lot to ever expect anyone to cook anything for us.”

“We basically stress cook every Thanksgiving on the day.”

“We’re cooking only the necessary stuff, which is carbs, and carbs, carbs, carbs, and more carbs.”

“It’s so much work for such a mediocre product it’s not even worth it.”

“I’m never peeling another potato again.”

“I’m not complaining, I know you guys all have jobs and lives and it’s hard sometimes to just cook things because you just want it to be cooked so you can eat it…!”

“We can do it, we can make it, if you let me do everything.”

“Let me get full control, first.”

“What am I gonna do? Spend seven hours slicing apples?”

“I have a too much gene…”

“Now is when I just panic about everything for no reason.”

“Why don’t you just lick the counter?”

“It’s not bread, though, they’re bagels…!”

“It’s beginning to look a lot like a lot of work…!”

“I fucking love aprons.”

“It’s a savory Gatorade.”

“Who’s ever mad at spicy fried chicken? Not me.”

“This is the only thing I care about: whole cranberry sauce.”

“That shouldn’t be allowed. That shouldn’t be allowed.”

“This is a lot of work and effort and years of trial and error.”

“I have a sensitive mouth…!”

CUTTING SOAP FOR MY DOG WHILE HE WEARS A TURTLENECK

“He’s putting up with me for right now.”

“You look so nice in your turtleneck.”

“He’s not impressed.”

“Am I doing this right?”

“I think he hates it.”

“We could do this for hours.”

“Some people find this to be relaxing, you know.”

“Look at my dog, he’s wearing a turtleneck and glasses.”

“Well, that was rude.”

“This is getting weird…!”

“We’ve gotten over this ‘I’m ashamed of my fetish’ thing.”

“That’s not food, it’s soap…!”

“This is all too much for him.”

“You’re gonna get banned.”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Well… that was that.”

TRYING TO SEE THINGS WITHOUT MY GLASSES

“I don’t enjoy wearing glasses.”

“We’ve lived together for, what, six, seven years?”

“I literally just want to sit here and see how useless I would be in an apocalypse scenario.”

“You’re off to just a really, really horrible and unpromising start.”

“This is so terrible.”

“This is not a good idea.”

“That’s not a good guess…?”

“What about a tuxedo looks like a matador cape?”

“Are you just showing me pictures of you?”

“Did you set me up?”

“Don’t tell Shane that I thought he was Bob from Bob’s Burgers.”

“You said that, I didn’t say that.”

“Every time, I feel like you’re judging me.”

“I’m gonna get in so much trouble.”

“I’m not completely useless if I don’t have glasses or contacts, but I’m almost useless.”

“It’s funny because you were born with perfect vision and you just wake up every day and can see clearly.”

“I can tell the difference between Anne Hathaway, Sandra Bullock, and Julia Roberts.”

“You tried your best, and you didn’t succeed.”

“I have perfect pitch.”

“I don’t even know if that’s right.”

[justablip]

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[justablip]

me: *doesn’t hear what you’re saying* yeah

[justablip]

dualiemain :

me: im not impulsive

me: [does something horrible and impulsive]

me: oh! there it is!

[justablip]

Conformist     ☆☆☆☆★☆☆☆☆     Rebel      Naive     ☆☆☆★☆☆☆☆☆     Cynical Indecisive     ☆☆☆★☆☆☆☆☆     Inflexible    Selfish     ☆☆☆☆★☆☆☆☆     Self-sacrificing  Apathetic     ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆★☆     Emotional    Fearful     ☆☆☆☆☆☆★☆☆     Reckless   Childish     ☆☆★☆☆☆☆☆☆     Humorless  Dependent     ☆★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆     Loner     Passive     ☆☆☆☆☆★☆☆☆     Aggressive 

balancing personality flaws

[justablip]

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

[justablip]

❝  ah…numbers. the letters of math. ❞ - amazingfeat

John Mulaney Sentence Starters

“I hate this. Michael,”

Name whined, brows furrowed and a clear frown in his expression. Pencil has been tossed across the table in frustration ; they’ve been at this for at least an hour and a half, and Jeremy’s patience is running out. Math has always come easier to his best friend, which led to separate math classes and the occasional tutoring session whenever a topic was particularly challenging ( which tended to be most of them, as the years of high school went on ). As much as Jeremy was thankful for the help, he also hated the sessions ( noticeably struggling did little for his confidence, only serving to make the redhead feel dumber than he did most of the time ). 

“Can we do anything else? I’ll just fail the test–   it’s fine. Just, literally anything but this.” 

[justablip]

here too cause he’s significantly louder than anyone right now -- like this and I’ll toss jer in your ask sometime over the next few days during my study breaks. possibly multiple times. who knows!