justarandompersononthehellsite

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Objectively correct categorization.

Bimbo and Himbo aren't gender locked

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Favorite AU

dannymay25 masterlist

I love fics with Danny and Constantine! From Danny being a gremlin and Constantine being terrified of the eldritch abomination the League just summoned, or being so done with the chaos Danny brings, or Danny owning Constantine's soul, it all brings me so much joy!

Here are some of the fics I've read. If you've got any recommendations put them in the comments!

Best Foot Forward Magicae ad Mortem Damning Actions Like A Lamb the royal line An Unlikely Deal I Just Wanna Talk John Constantine Stop Selling Your Soul for Five Minutes Challenge  John Constantine‘s Infinite Trouble With The Infinite Realms The Peacock Au The Soul Trade(ing Card Game) Be Not Afraid! (Or whatever) Restless Summons Uncle John It's Hard to Make Friends When You're Half in the Grave Beach Day Demons

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

By the way "some aroace people still date and have sex" and "it's weird how internet spaces makes every single aroace character romance and sex favourable" can and should co-exist. Sincerely, an aroace person

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Technus made a VR headset! It's being sold to ghosts, as a ghost-only product, and Danny is very excited.

It's powered by the users ecto, and has been peer reviewed by not just Point Dexter, but also Walker and Ember and the Box Ghost. It's not a trap!

It's just Technus raking in payment in the form of old and new tech from across all dimensions for his lair in return for one of the headsets!

Danny makes sure the anti-ghost system in the house is off, that his door is locked, and slips on the VR headset in preparation for something phenominal. So far, there's only one game, but it's very popular among ghosts.

[Welcome, User P H A N T O M. Please select a sigil to determine your starting point.]

Danny selects the picture of...hmm. What to choose, what to choose.

He chooses...the lightning bolt.

Danny blinks and he's staring up at a strange woman.

Danny very quickly finds out that while this game is super popular with ghosts, for someone like Danny, who's half living? Kind of boring.

Because it's a life simulator.

It's like if a bunch of orcs and wizards played DnD, but the game was about working in an office.

In this particular simulation, he's the son of a single mother, who he apparently takes after; black hair, blue eyes. When he grows up he isn't gonna look any different from how he does IRL.

Sooo...no character customization. Damn.

He gets named Daniel, because obviously?

His life is painfully mundane; he has no powers, he's just an average human. Which is a pity, because in this world/server there's other heroes with super powers, and he would have loved to have been able to join in on their shenanigans.

He wakes up. He plays. He eats. He goes to sleep.

Then he gets old enough to go to school, which. Ugh. Not again.

New routine. wake up, school, go home, snacks, homework, sleep.

He makes a few friends, but not really. It's hard to be friends with NPCs, after all.

Then he hits ten, and uh.

He has a power?

Super speed. He has super speed.

His mother breaks down crying when she sees him disappear and reappear on the other side of the room.

He's the second Flash's son, who said man has no idea exists.

After that is a whirlwind of trying to pretend he doesn't have powers, slipping up, getting involved in a fight, outing himself, getting him and his mom absorbed into the Flash family by osmosis, and after about five more years, he's essentially forgotten that this is a VR game.

Then his dad is about to take a hit, and Danny dives in front, tanking it.

Danny dies in his father's arms, only for the oncoming peace of death to be interrupted with

[GAME OVER. ONE TIME USAGE COMPLETE.]

Danny bolts upright, hands on his chest, panting.

Wait, game over? Right, right, the VR headset.

No, wait...one time usage?! What a rip off!

Danny hides his grief at losing his NPC family behind the rage of the one time usage, and pretends the tears leaking out of his eyes are from fury.

~~~~~~

Wally clutches the broken body of his son, trying so, so hard not to snap.

He'd only had Danny for five years.

Five fucking years. He'd missed most of Danny's life, and...and because of one stupid fucking mistake, because he hadn't been good enough...

Wally feels his body begin to distort, the Speedforce responding to his rage with an otherworldly indifference to what rules of reality his body is supposed to obey.

Danny has to be alive, in at least one reality.

Wally is going to find him, consequences be damned.

TLDR; Technus makes a one time use headset for ghosts to get to live another life, and neglects to mention that it's actually temporarily removing their consciousness and placing it into people who otherwise wouldn't be alive.

Danny thinks it was just a game.

To his grieving Speedster father he gained in that reality, however, it very much was not a game, and the man is currently on his way to Danny's home reality after going on a grief bender that would make Batman blush.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Damn, you think you know a guy 😮‍💨

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Hey y'all. Here's something for you.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

starting a campaign called Put Fingers In His Bullet Wound Wednesday where every wednesday we celebrate medical accuracy by leaving the bullet in whatever fictional pookie you shot real good and Packing His Hole with gauze. by fingering that bullet wound real good. With gauze. this campaign will increase medical accuracy in fics and also make bullet wounds hornier.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Child abandonment, stalking and just... so much murder.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

I live directly on a fault line. No active volcanoes, and our weather is pretty mild, but sometimes the ground likes to do a little dance.

I'm really curious about this!! in aotearoa, every classroom I was in growing up had posters up on how to respond to an earthquake. "drop, cover, hold" was drilled into me from a very young age. I experienced a few growing up, but they were mild because I don't live in areas where they are more extreme. One of our major cities, christchurch/ōtautahi, gets hit by earthquakes very frequently. if you look at a global seismic hazard map, aotearoa is fully lit up in the colour indicating high hazard chance. wild!!!

for reference, in the UK (similar size country) there are around 20-30 noticeable earthquakes per year. in aotearoa, that number is around 100-250!