justjin-ah

[justjin-ah]

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[Lemme lay some groundwork here. As we well know, Jenna is on the lam. And it’s been, what, a week now, that she’s been gone? She’s holed up in some hotel somewhere far away from whatever fictional town these people live in. She’s ignoring calls, swiping the notifications for voicemails and texts away, and, finally, giving in and turning off her phone all together-- after telling Marina, the only person who knows where she is, that she would be doing so, of course. 

Because, think about it-- she’d told at least one person she wasn’t dead, she’d called a lawyer, and lawyer had called her back to inform her that one husband had already signed the papers that she’d had sent to the Park-Sin mansion-- what other reason did she have to keep her phone on? It wasn’t like there was anyone in the phone that she wanted to be talking to, right? There was no purpose to the phone. She had a hotel room phone where she could call someone if she wanted to, but she didn’t have to worry about receiving more worried notifications from Taemin, and ANYBODY ELSE that might be sending her worried notifications, you feel? 

She’s said it so many times in the past before-- that she wanted to be left alone. And maybe it wasn’t so much of a truth in those previous times. Maybe she really didn’t want to be left alone. Maybe the more recent time she’d demanded to be left alone wasn’t much of a serious demand either. But now? Now, she did want to be left alone. It felt like there wasn’t anything to be said-- there wasn’t much of anything to be done to fix that feeling. It was enough to feel it, but to try to repair what she was feeling? She didn’t want to go into it. With anyone. And only Marina seemed to know to leave well enough alone when Jenna got into this mindset. No one else knew how to let it be, it seemed. 

She was moody-- she was grumpy lately. She was overly-emotional, and she could go from happy to pissed off with one glance. She knew these things about herself. But shouldn’t the people closest to her realize all of this too? And shouldn’t they know that they signed up for something in particular by keeping her in their lives? It’s not that she was crazy, she just-- felt unworthy of most anything half of the time. She didn’t see many good points to herself. There was confidence in her looks, and that’s all she could count on. That’s what she could name, if someone were to ask her good points. 

So, wouldn’t it make sense that if she wasn’t giving out her one good point, that she wouldn’t be first choice anymore? That it’d be easy to let go? Because if it never made sense for one person to love her, then why would it make sense for there to be two people who did? Didn’t it go to show that they wanted her for other things?? You know-- if she got yelled at for avoiding being touched, and if they didn’t even try to stop her from leaving? 

It was all thoughts she’d had while she mostly sat alone in her hotel room-- about whether or not she continues to make mistakes. About how if she’s blind, and stupid, and at times too optimistic in a marriage of three people that she’s sure is much harder to keep intact than any normal marriage... She thinks about if maybe she’d been too enamored with two boys to see the crushing realities of the idea of three people being able to live together in any form of harmony. Especially if she can still be unsure that they love her for anything other than that ‘one good point’. Or worse yet-- for the idea of her carrying a child. 

It’s an insecurity... she knew that... but knowledge doesn’t stop the thought-- that someone loves you because of what they can get from you and not because of you. That’s a thought that’s also been dwelt on in this room. And it’s probably a thought that would’ve continued to be dwelt on, had she not gotten a knock on her door.

She was confused, yes-- but as it was that particular time of day, perhaps Jenna thought it was only the maid service, come to clean the room, or whatever. And yes, she was going to go to the door, and open it, and politely tell them that she’d be here for awhile, and they could just skip the room. 

And that’s where she was going-- off the bed, towards the door, and pulling a door open, without much of a second thought to look through a pEEp hole before opening it. You’d never guess who had been knocking on the door.]

Taemin! [It’s said like a groan of a whine, as she rolls her eyes up to the ceiling.]

You weren’t answering my calls. 

How did you even know where I was??? Did Marina--??? 

To be fair, she didn’t break any promises, technically. You told her not to tell your husbands where you are. And given that I’m just your worried cousin, and I’m engaged to her cousin with the puppy-dog eyes, it was easy to wear her down. 

I didn’t want anyone to find me.

[Taemin just shrugs.] Then I guess you should’ve told Marina not to tell me or Darla either. 

[Jenna huffs a sigh, pursing her lips together in less of an irritated manner, and more of a way to stop emotion from flooding out. Because if Taemin’s here, then she knows where this conversation is going to be going. So, she steps back from the door, which is a practical invitation for Taemin to come in, and she’s heading back to her bed, because that is where she’ll sit with her arms crossed, and all.]

[And this one, yes, of course, followed her into the room, shutting the door behind him, and crossing his own arms, but in more of a fatherly, concerned fashion. He sighs, and tilts his head in question at his cousin, staring at her for a moment in contemplation while he decides how he wants to go about this, before settling with letting his shoulders drop.] Why did you run away, Jen?

[There we heckin’ go. Jenna’s eyes squeeze shut for a moment, again, trying to contain some emotion that might threaten to come out. But it doesn’t work, because her answer comes out in a quiet, squeak of, say it with me, emotion.] No one wanted me there anyway.

[Taemin just shakes his head.] You’ll have to tell me who this ‘no one’ is. Because I’m pretty sure there are two people in that house that always want you there.

[But Jenna is shaking her head back. She’s dropping her gaze to her hands in her lap, and leaving it there. Because, no-- if they wanted her there, then wouldn’t they have tried to stop her from leaving? Like any other time before?] They let me leave, Taemin.

I doubt if they thought you were going out for any more than a walk to clear your head, they would’ve let you leave at all. [Jenna shrugs her shoulders, still staring at her lap.] If they had thought you were going to go into hiding, I’m sure they would’ve thought twice about letting you go out the door. 

It’s not like they’ve tried to find me, or anything. [At least, I’m assuming, until they’ve had a conversation with Tae. Because, let’s say tAemin’s texts have probably been giving this away, yeah.]

They thought you’ve been with me. 

Even closer, in that case, and they still didn’t try. What’s that supposed to make me think? 

That they were giving you breathing room after an argument, Jenna. 

It wasn’t an argument! [She’s groaning and rolling her eyes to the ceiling again.] Is that what they told you??? Figures. I didn’t argue with anybody. Did they tell you why I left? [She sighs, and she shrinks into herself.] I had another pregnancy scare at the honeymoon. It’s a big deal that I won’t go into, but I started birth control after we got back. It takes time to start working, and I’ve been too worried, even with other protection to do anything. [How does she put it delicately to her cousin lol?] 

So, we haven’t been... and it’s obviously been making us kind of grumpy, but I still expect to not be touched when I say it, right? I couldn’t count the number of hands I’ve swatted away. And it’s not like they’re not touching me at all. Just not like-- [Tae’s gaze is at the ceiling, and you can smell the discomfort, but he’s listening lol.] I don’t trust that it wouldn’t go... [She scratches at the back of her head in irritation, and some sadness too.] But Jae-- the day I left-- he yelled at me for saying no. He stormed out of the house, and Gun was taking his side, and said I was arguing, and I... 

Jae came back in a few minutes later with some stray dog, which he’s ignoring the situation for, and he’s trying to keep it, even though I’m saying to take it to a shelter, but he gave it a name, and a bath, and even though Gun was pretending like he was trying to help the situation, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the stupid dog either. And I said I wasn’t accepting an apology until the dog was gone, and Jae wanted to keep the dog, so he said ‘no forgiveness’. 

So, you tell me, Taemin. Tell me if I overreacted by leaving. Tell me I don’t have the right to be upset, when Jae and Gun cared more about keeping a dog, than keeping me, or trying to work through this stupid issue? What was I supposed to do, since everyone else is so much smarter than I am? They haven’t tried to find me. Gun’s signed divorce papers... They don’t want me, unless I’m giving them a baby, or sex. That’s all I am to them. And it’s become clear. 

[Yup. Taemin had to take a moment to process all of that information because-- it was a lot. That was a long rant, and it was definitely full of a lack of logic. Absolutely. To think that Gun and Jae only love her for those niche things-- those small two things, on the tiny scope of everything I’m sure he knows those two love about his cousin... well, he would understand that these thoughts came from an insecurity in herself. But he also saw his friends’ ever-stupid actions that would cause her to have the thought in the first place. Especially knowing who his cousin is. 

He sighs, finally. He shakes his head, and he’s moving further in the room, towards the edge of the bed where Jenna has been sitting, and he plops down beside her, reaching up to wipe away a tear, because one has definitely fallen at this point.] Jenna... I get your point of view. It feels like they gave up on you. It feels like, since you’re not giving them something, then you’re worth nothing to them. I understand what you’re thinking. [He sucks in a breath.] But that doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make it the truth. Gun and Jae would never, ever marry someone if they only cared about the things you’re talking about. They love you. For many more reasons than what you think.

[Jenna shakes her head.] T-Then why would Gun sign the papers? 

Why would you have them sent? 

If he didn’t want a divorce, he wouldn’t sign them at all. 

Or maybe he thinks it’s what you want, since you sent them. 

[Jenna sniffles out a little cry. No, she doesn’t want a divorce. Not really-- not unless they truly didn’t love her. But, honestly, that’s all her mind had been telling her for the past week.] I-I don’t wanna be married to a-anyone who doesn’t l-love me.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing you’re married to two anyones that do love you. [She shakes her head again.] You’ve gotta stop listening to that voice in your head that tells you there’s no reason someone should love you. All three of you do, honestly. The sooner you all realize that there are reasons, the quicker you’ll learn how to do this whole marriage thing. Reassurance is nice, I know-- but you’ve gotta learn how to reassure yourself that you’re worth love too.

... I wasn’t worth looking for... or going after... or talking to... What am I worth then, to them? 

I’d take a guess at the world. 

I don’t feel like I’m worth that much to them... [At times, maybe. But right now?? Not so much.]

You are. And I’m sure they’re missing their world. And I’m sure they’re upset about being sent divorce papers... signed or not. I think they do want to find you. I think they want to talk to you. And I think they’d hate to know you’re feeling like they don’t love you for anything more than babies or the physical things. 

But running away, Jenna... hiding out like this... how would they ever get the chance to let you know? You love them. And you don’t want to end things. Or else it wouldn’t hurt like this. You can’t keep running away. 

I just want to be alone...

You don’t. You just think it’d hurt less. Relationships... they’re not meant to be perfect. You have disagreements. You have fights. You make each other, angry, upset-- you might hurt each other. It just comes with the territory of human beings having to live with each other. But it’s our love that fights to keep it. But you’ve all gotta be willing to fight to keep it first. And this?? What you’re doing-- it’s not fighting to keep it. I know how you feel-- but think about how leaving like this would make them feel. Would they think you’re not willing to fight anymore too? 

[Ah, but Taemin, you’re trying to logic a girl that’s currently full of illogical thoughts. She’s wiping at her own tears.] C-Can you just go?

If you want me to... if you promise to think about everything I’ve said. 

I w-will. Please just-- just let me be alone. 

[Taemin purses his lips, but nods.] Okay. [And he won’t go before pulling--] 

[One of those-- which Jenna does allow, but mostly because she’s too shuddery to make it stop.]

P-Please don’t tell Gun and Jae... about any of this.

[He pulls back from his hug after one big squeeze.] I won’t. It’s about time I stop being a go between. If there’s something they need to know about what’s going on with you, then they need to find out for themselves for once.

[Okay, but she’d rather them not ask, tbh.] Th-Thank you.

[He squeezes his cousins hand once, before getting up, giving her a reassuring smile, and--...] It’s gonna work out, Jen... [And she just continues her sniffles, instead of responding, and Taemin is out the door. Rip.]

[And this one will cry herself to sleep tonight, being burdened by logic.]

[justjin-ah]

로티 리 ~ ♡ + 콜

[Get ready, benches. It’s D-Day. Because it’s been too long now, and Loti Lee had heard too many confusing and terrible things from her twin brother. She didn’t even have to hear the stories to be confused. All she had to do was keep an eye on the situation. And that wasn’t something she particularly liked to do, no. It wasn’t something she thought that she should even be doing, necessarily. But she had little control over her gaze, and yes, it did occasionally drift over to that ~happy couple, despite herself, and despite the fact that she didn’t want to give it an ounce of her attention.

She couldn’t help it. She wanted to know what this was about. She wanted to know why this was happening-- why Cole had let this go on for so long. She wanted to know the reason behind her brother being so hurt. She wanted to know why Eli had heard and seen the things that he had, if Loti had heard and seen the things that she had before Cole went away.

And was that part of her confusion? Was she concerned that this whole ~therapy thing had planted some kind of weird idea in Cole’s head? Therapy was supposed to help. And, in Loti’s mind, there was nothing-- absolutely nothing-- helpful about Cole dating Elliot. Not for him. Not for anybody, except maybe Elliot. 

Yes... Loti had her questions. She had so many things to say-- to ask. But that was the problem. She never saw Cole Bae without Elliot clinging to him. She never saw him alone, and if she even managed to, Elliot came around a corner as soon as she’d seen him. She’d say it was crazy, but she didn’t separate herself from Noa either. But, of course... it was different, in Loti’s eyes. 

Suffice it to say, it’s been ever since the news of Elliot and Cole dating dropped that she’s been trying to get Cole alone to ask the questions that were plaguing her mind. It’s been months of zero opportunities. And maybe that was the way Cole liked it, even. Maybe he was intentionally keeping himself from that kind of vulnerable position if he knew Loti could show up. Did he expect her to have the questions she did? Questions that he wouldn’t want to answer? 

... And why wouldn’t he want to answer these questions? She just wanted to know his reasons. She wanted to know if Cole had fallen out of love with her brother. She needed to know why he’d said everything he said to her at her wedding, if he was going to turn and do something like this. 

So, yes-- opportunities were scarce to none. And if Elliot wasn’t with Cole, then Noa was with her. And Noa wasn’t supposed to be part of this conversation, because he 1. wouldn’t understand, and 2. he wasn’t a part of the initial wedding conversation to begin with. 

But sometimes, fate seems to smile upon us. And God HIMSELF seems to shine a light upon a golden opportunity. Yes, Elliot was with Cole at the moment, but it appeared to be a goodbye happening. Because, yes, she did start a slow approach towards the two, and she did overhear Elliot saying something about ‘I’ll see you at home’. And get this-- Loti Lee rolled her eyes. Yes, something she seldom does, but she did. 

So, she waits for Elliot to be out of sight, and she continues on her trail towards Cole, maybe digging in a locker, or something, but his back is turned to her, or else he might have power-walked away. So, she’s behind him, silent for a moment as she contemplates. 

But she merely comes out with a--...]

Cole Bae.

[And yes, he jumped. The voice, unexpected, and something he definitely never wanted to hear when he was alone. His face pulled into a cringe, and he sighed. He turned around to face Loti, his face now looking guilty already.] ... Yeah?

[Loti gave her own sight to match, and she took a few seconds to analyze his face. Yup-- she was right. He’d avoided being alone near her on purpose, for sure.] We need to have a conversation that’s long overdue. [And there is a Jenna-like tone in her voice which indicates that she won’t be made to ask a second time.]

[He wanted to groan. He wanted to shake his head, refuse, turn in the other direction, and say ‘No thanks, Loti. Not today. Not ever.’, but I’m sure he knows that there is a silent ruthless streak in Loti Lee. I’m sure he saw it in her that first and last lunch they had with her. So, he just nods instead, because he recognized such a tone.] Fine... 

[And so she’s leading him away from a hallway, past people who will undoubtedly have some questions about Cole following yet another Park-Sin to somewhere. But Loti doesn’t care, because they’d be wrong anyway, and she doesn’t care. Because this isn’t about her. This is about her brother. 

So, yes privacy. Maybe a dance studio, with a lock on the door, in case Elliot were to try to make a reappearance. Or her husband, or Eli. Or-- anybody really. Because, again, this isn’t about any of them-- other than Eli, but this isn’t a conversation he needs to witness. And she was sure if he knew Loti was trying to confront Cole about all of this, he’d have a problem with it. But listen-- she can’t help it. She wants her own answers. And she wants her brother to stop hurting so bad. 

She’s pacing to the middle of the room, after locking the door. Cole stays huddled near a door, just in case he needs to make some kind of a quick escape, should Loti’s questions get to be too much. She crosses her arms, simply staring him down for a few moments, and nothing more. Perhaps trying to read him once again. Cole’s eyes are shifting with nerves. He’s rubbing at the back of his neck.]

When you said you wanted a conversation, I figured you be doing more talking, and a lot less staring. [This is said quite sheepishly, however, and not as sarcastic as he wanted it to come out.]

I’m thinking. [About how she wants to start this? Perhaps.]

If you think this conversation is overdue, shouldn’t you know what you want to say already? [Stop with the defense mechanism, Cole Bae.]

I’m deciding what to start with. Believe me. I have plenty to say.

... Great. 

I’ll make it simple to start. Why did you say what you said to me at my wedding? 

[That’s making it simple??] You’ll have to be more specific. I recall saying a lot to you at the wedding.

I’m talking about all of it. [She huffs a noise of irritation, because she’s already annoyed with the Cole defense.] You said you were leaving to be a better person. 

I like to think I am a little bit better.

You said you wanted to do it for him.

[Cole pauses. His breath stops for a couple of seconds as he just sits there and stares at Loti. He knew if they had a conversation, this is where it would lead, but he didn’t realize that it would hurt to hear her remind him of his reasons.]

And I don’t remember you referring to Elliot Song when you said that. You were talking about Eli. [Cole drops his gaze to the ground at that. And we’ve said Eli’s told Loti everything since they’re talking now, right?] You were crying that night. You said you loved Eli more than anything. You told Eli you’d always love him. You cried to him. You told him you wanted to be someone that deserved him. 

So tell me, Cole-- if you said that to me, and you said that to Eli... why are you in the relationship you’re in right now? What changed? And if you were lying to both of us before, why did you lie in the first place? 

I wasn’t lying. [It’s a mumble, but it makes it’s way across the room to Loti.]

If it wasn’t a lie, then answer the other question. Why are you in the relationship that you’re in? Better yet, if you weren’t planning on being with Eli when you got back, then why did you give me his ring to take care of for you? Did you forget about it? Did you forget you’d given it to me? You seem to have forgotten about everything else. I still have it. I should’ve thrown it in your face when I heard about your new boyfriend, but I didn’t. Because, silly me-- I believed maybe it wasn’t real, or someone was mistaken. But no. You really started dating him the day you got back.

[Loti that is so many things you’ve just thrown in his face at one time. That’s so many questions at once. You can’t expect this dumbass to be able to think about more than one thing at a time like that. He sighs, and tries to start to answer slowly.] I gave it to you because I didn’t want my family finding it and throwing it out. I didn’t forget I’d given it to you. I didn’t forget what I said to you. 

But Loti... [He takes in a breath.] Even with therapy, I am not the person that Eli deserves. I’m not. I don’t think anything will make me that person. [Especially not now, is something that his mind added. Because there was a lot of damage caused since he’d gotten back. And yes, all of that was his fault entirely. He couldn’t even blame Elliot for it. Just himself.] He deserves to be happy, and I’m not the guy that can do that. 

He loves you, Cole. [Cole cringes, tbh.] Being with you does make him happy. But sure-- doing what you’re doing-- dating who you’re dating, I agree with you. You can’t make him happy that way. You can be that guy again. I don’t understand your logic about this. I don’t understand why you’d tell both me and Eli that you still love him, and that you always will, but a month or so later you’re telling Elliot that you love him. I don’t get it. 

[He would’ve made a point about Eli not loving him anymore. He would’ve argued that he seems completely happy-- fine, even, without Cole around to drag him down, and fight with him all the time. Sure, there were the things with Elliot, but Eli was doing his own thing. That was clear. And he would’ve said all of this, had Loti not brought up the thing about Elliot.] W-What? [Had Elliot being going around talking about drunk!Cole’s escapades?] How did you know about that??

Eli heard you say it. So, tell me-- how did you fall out of love with Eli so fast? When you said you’d love him forever. What does forever mean to you, Cole Bae??? 

Eli heard--... [He choked. He looks shell-shocked. Surprised. Like he’d heard the worst news he could possibly hear. Because-- Eli had been close enough to hear that??? And wouldn’t that explain? Had his drunken eyes seen a glimpse of him? Enough for the words to come out.] He... He misunderstood me.

Now you’re trying to tell me you didn’t say ‘I love you’ to him? Eli’s wrong? That’s what you’re saying? 

N-No... I’m not saying--. I did say that, but I... [He hangs his head, not sure if he’s ready to be emotionally vulnerable with Loti Lee a second time.] I was drunk, and I- I didn’t realize I was t-talking to... He just thought I--... 

[But Loti’s head does perk up at all of those stutters, and cut-offs, etc. She furrows her eyebrows in a confused way. She tilts her head at him in contemplation, and he feels under the scope right now.] Who did you think you were talking to then? Eli??? [Cole just sighs, but this appears to be enough of an answer for Loti.] You’re drunkenly confessing your love for my brother, but you’re still dating Elliot Song?! If you still love him, then tell him! If you still love him, then be with him! 

I already told you that he deserves better.

What he deserves is the person he loves! He deserves the person who does make him happy! What he doesn’t deserve is watching him move on with someone else! 

He moved on first, Loti! 

What?!

What is it? His four-month?? That’s coming up with Tate Whats-his-face? He’s already happy with him, if he’s been with him that long. And I refuse to screw shit up again for him. I’d rather just leave him alone than continue to fuck up his life. 

Cole... are you serious?! 

Yes?

Eli and Tate broke up while you were gone.

[Again, shocked-- surprised. This was something he hadn’t expected to hear. As much as he’d been avoiding seeing Eli, it was easy to believe that he was still in a relationship with someone else. But they were-- broken up? And had been since before Cole ever came back? So why did--...?] I... didn’t know that. I thought he was happy... [HE was tolD.]

He was miserable when you were gone. He wouldn’t talk to anyone-- or leave his room. He’s better now, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy. 

I thought that--...

Is that the reason you’re with Elliot?? You thought Eli had moved on, so you--?? [Loti huffs a sigh. She drops her head to her hands for a moment in thought-- irritation at the whole misconception of the situation. But... why would he even think this? What gave him the idea that Eli was still dating Tate, and that he was happy, and moved on, and everything was fine? It’s not like Eli made a point to be seen around Tate. So, what made Cole believe that--??] He loves you, Cole. You. So, tell him the same thing, and let it finally be worked out. 

[Cole gives a humorless scoff of a chuckle, playing now with the hem of his shirt, because anything to avoid the eyes of Loti Lee for a moment longer.] None of this new information changes the fact that someone could make him happier than I could. We argue, and fight, and I do things that hurt him. And he never trusted me to begin with. And after everything over the past couple of months... he definitely never would. And I wouldn’t put him in a situation like that again.

Do you fight with Elliot? [Cole’s gaze flies up to the ceiling, but he does nod.] So you two argue? [Cole nods once more.] So tell me-- why are you willing to try to make it work with him? Because you thought Eli had moved on? And so you should too? Because you think someone could make him happier, so you’re trying to be happy with someone else? That’s crazy, Cole.

What even gave you the idea that Eli was happy? And why would you pick Elliot, of all the people, to try to move on with? 

[And here we go. Cole’s not trying to throw anybody under the bus here. He doesn’t even imagine Loti would have a problem with this. But naive, for once, Cole Bae. You dear. You realized how pissed off she was before. Why wouldn’t you be on the lookout for your bro right now?] Noa said Eli was happy. He said his relationship with Tate was fine. Since he lives in the same house, I assumed Noa was a reliable source.

[It’s Loti’s turn to be surprised. It’s Loti’s turn for her face to fall in confusion, because this wasn’t something that her husband had told her when he was apologizing for everything else. That he’d lied? About Tate and Eli’s relationship still being a thing? Because, come on-- if Loti knew, then Noa knew. It would be ridiculous for that to not be the case. Loti Lee didn’t keep things from her husband... like he seemed to like to do. Still.] And so you decided to date Elliot, of all the people?? [And, again, her tone is indicative of the fact that she’s trying to keep her voice, and also whole self, calm.]

[Yes, he is concerned about that tone. It does give him pause, but it also kinda makes him quake in his boots a bit. Because when someone who is usually so bubbly, and happy, and sweet gives you a look like that, you realize you are treading in some deep waters.] Noa said... I should. Because-- Elliot seemed to care about me. And that he asked about me... every day... while I was gone. [Loti’s face seems to have changed for the worse, so Cole backtracks.] He was just giving me advice as a best friend, Loti.

Yes, and that’s why you listened. Because he told you a lie about Eli, and then told you while you were upset who you should date. [And it’s a rough and quick and biting tone. You can tell she’s gotten angry now, oop. Because, listen-- if she and her husband had had a conversation about how much he didn’t care about Eli, then she would, of course, come to the conclusion that there had to be at least, partially, some kind of selfish motive behind the idea of telling Cole what Noa had told him.]

Loti, Noa was just trying to--...

I know what he was trying to do. [More quick and biting words. More anger at, yes, her husband. It was coming out at Cole, sure, but that’s just because he was here. And listen-- Loti has a lot to think about. Loti has a lot to contemplate. And she certainly has to let herself cool down by at least 80% before she tries to confront her husband about this. Because, look-- she gets it. Maybe he was trying to help Cole be happy, but he did it in a way where he could hurt Eli too. And to not come clean about that? After telling Loti he’d make an effort to make things better? Grounds for a serious fight, honestly. And now, yes, Loti’s trailing back over to where Cole’s been, by the door. She’s staring him straight in the face. Like, literally, pointing at him with all the angry pregnant vibes she can muster.] 

Eli loves you. He’s never stopped. I don’t care if you think he deserves better than you, or that you can’t make him happy. Because I’m his twin sister, and I know that you’re the person who makes him happy, and he’s miserable right now, because he knows he can’t be with you, because you’re busy trying to move on with someone you don’t even have those kinds of feelings for. 

And I know-- you can try with all of your might. You can convince yourself that you and Eli wouldn’t work out, or that he’d never be as happy as he could be with you, but you’re being ridiculous. If you two love each other, there’s no reason you should continue to torture yourselves like this. You especially, torturing the both of you like this. You’ve broken Eli’s heart, yes. I know. You’ve done it more than once. But that doesn’t mean you punish yourself by breaking your own heart as well. That’s the opposite of making yourself better. You should listen to your own heart about who you love. Not what other people around you are telling you to do. Take it from me. 

[And yup, with that one, Loti pregnant Lee is skirting her way around Cole Bae, and she’s stomping her way out. Because, look-- she needs to take a breather-- a moment, before her blood pressure gets too high. Or before she runs to a husband and says some heat-of-the-moment things she shouldn’t say. Silent treatment until a conversation it is.]

[And Cole-- poor Cole. He’s just been lectured at by an angry pregnant lady. He caught the brunt of the anger at her husband. He feels as if he deserves it. Because, she is wrong. For all of the things he’s done to Eli, yes-- he deserves to not be at his happiest. For all the things before... for all the things after. Attempts at being a good guy, or not-- he’d never be a good guy for Eli Park-Sin. Sorry to say it, Loti. But just let him rest himself in a slump against the door. He needs to take a breather of his own.]

[justjin-ah]

내부의

If you had told me a few hours ago, at my house, apologizing and being apologized back to, that if I were to go through with my own ideas, this would happen, I would’ve listened to Gun in the first place. 

If someone had said that Jae would be drunk, and I would get drunk too, and nobody would be there to succeed in stopping it, then I would have backed out. 

If someone told me that I would witness what I just did, I would’ve just stayed home. And maybe I would’ve sent Gun back out the door. Because, there would be no point to be here in the first place, right? I came... because I wanted to fix things. I wanted to apologize to Jae too... for being so awful. For misusing his trust. For treating him like he was nothing when he’s everything. And I wanted Gun to be able to fix things too. 

I didn’t realize what fixing it meant. I didn’t think it meant what I saw. 

Blindsided... It’s not the proper word for what I feel. I just feel like... an idiot. A stupid ass idiot. Because, as much as it pains me to say it, Taemin was right. He said he knew things that I didn’t know, and I just laughed him off. 

I didn’t expect that those things were-- well, the things that they appear to be. The things I had to see in front of my face. And I could’ve just written it off as some drunk thing. A new, first time, drunk out of your mind kind of random kissing that happens without you meaning it to. 

But what he said...

사랑해.

How could that be an accident? How could that be something that just... happens? Doesn’t that mean that, first time or not, this is something that they’ve wanted? Because-- I know Gun. Or... I thought I did. I’m not sure anymore. 

But I know enough to realize that if he was blindsided by the words Jae spoke too, then he wouldn’t have kept going. He would’ve put a stop to it... if he didn’t feel the same way too. 

That has to mean he does, right? Jae and Gun are in love with each other, and so what was I? 

It’s karma. It has to be. There’s some cosmic force above my head, laughing at my misfortune, and shaking a finger at me in disappointment, because I played both sides, and I kept going after both of them, when I shouldn’t have. 

I hurt Gun. I hurt Jae. 

... If it even hurt. If they’re in love with each other, then wouldn’t it just have been the two of them hurting each other? Did it have nothing to do with me? And if that’s the case... were they only using me to hurt each other? To make the other jealous? 

And-- why do I feel like that’s what I deserve? 

I hate it. I hate this, because I know how I feel. And if my stubborn ass had just listened when Tae said to stay away, then... then I wouldn’t be in love with both of them. Because that’s what it is. I know it. I’ve known it for... a week? 

The fact that I felt that way was tearing me up inside. Because how can I go from never even romantically liking a person, to being in love with two best friends? And I felt like... after everything, maybe it could be true with them too. Maybe they loved me back? That’s the way they made me feel, anyway. Loved. Special. Important. 

But it was a lie, wasn’t it? They just love each other. How could I even start to compete with people who’ve been in love with each other for who knows how long? And would I want to? If I thought I even could? 

I managed to tear them up. But, judging off the sounds I hear coming from the room I was just shut out of, they’re sewing up the seams. 

And, hell, why are Taemin’s walls so thin? How can it sound like I’m right there? And why can’t I just fall asleep already, so that I can wake up sober and leave? If I were asleep, at least I wouldn’t have to listen to the... the noises.

It was enough to watch a door be shut in my face, but to have to listen too? 

Eomma is right. Karma truly is real. And karma wants me. Badly. 

And there’s not enough fight in me to keep karma back. Not when she keeps playing that kissing in my head over and over again, soundtrack, the sounds I made come out of them once. 

I didn’t think it could ever feel this bad. Heart break. And maybe there was a place in my subconscious that was trying to protect me from this pain. Maybe that’s why I’ve never felt romantic love before. My brain was protecting me.

And I stupidly let my guard down for these two boys who crawled into my heart and made me feel a way I never have before. And they made me think it was the same way for them. But it was just a lie. And it seems like they made it all up just to get to each other. 

It worked, didn’t it? Again, judging off the sounds that I still can’t drown out. Even with all of this crying I’m doing. 

I gave them so much of my time. I gave them something that only the two of them have ever gotten. Didn’t they know how I feel? I know I haven’t been good to them in a lot of things, but... 

It’s unfair of me to be so upset about this, I know. I know I did all of the same things. I know I slept with one, and kissed the other, and slept with one and slept with the other. But it was confusion over loving them both for me.

What was it for them? If not just for each other? 

Because I can’t find it in me to believe that they love me. 

If they have any feelings for me, wouldn’t I be in that room? Wouldn’t I not have been forgotten, pushed to the side, door slammed on? And if a request was made... one about wanting to share a moment with both of them, drunk as that damn request is...? 

Should that have clued me in? How many guys would agree to that with their best friend? Even if they have feelings for the same girl?

Should I have run at the first sign of an agreement to that? 

Why did I have to get so drunk? I know my tolerance. I get my limit. So why did I allow myself to do it? If I hadn’t been like that, I wouldn’t have suggested what I did. Ever. We wouldn’t have ended up in the situation we ended up in. 

And if that failed-- if we still ended up in the same situation as we did, at least I’d be sober enough to drive right now. I wouldn’t have to sit here, subjected to familiar sounds being brought out by something completely different. And maybe then, it wouldn’t hurt so much. If I could just fall asleep, and stop hearing it, I could forget for a little while, or hope that maybe everything is erased from my memory when I wake up in the morning. 

Hindsight is 20/20. 

And if someone had hindsight, why did he say that it wasn’t his business to tell me? Why did he say that every time he brought up knowing Gun and Jae better than me? He should’ve realized... knowing could’ve protected me, like he wanted in the first place. 

The sad thing about it is.... I think I still would’ve fallen for them, knowing they were in love or not. Would it have been easier to bear, with the knowledge, though? Maybe.

But it’s too late for me to tell now. It’s too late  for me to turn around and make different decisions. I have to face them now-- head on. I have to listen to the two of them making up. I have to lay here, begging, in tears, for sleep to take me already. I have to know that they’re in love with each other. And there’s nothing I can do about that. 

I’m angry. I’m hurt. 

The worst part about that? I’m not even angry at them. 

I can only be angry at myself. 

I can only blame myself for the mess I’m in.

If they love each other... it is what it is. 

And it’s on me for not listening to my warnings. 

I love them. And I’m on the other side of the door. They love each other. They probably always have-- for years even.

And I shouldn’t let them use me to distract themselves anymore, should I? If I have to face the way they feel about each other, then so should they. 

If it hurts, it hurts. If I cry, I already have been for I don’t know how long at this point. But I won’t let them pretend that they care about me anymore. Not when I know what I saw. Not when the walls are thin enough to practically hear words. 

Maybe when they finally slow down, I’ll be able to sleep. 

But, honestly.... that doesn’t seem to be coming any time soon. 

Dry eyes, and sleep. What a dream that would be. 

[justjin-ah]

로티 리 ~ ♡ + 콜

[I need you to picture this-- a few moments, perhaps 15 minutes or so, after Tate interrupted an Ecoli. Cole went to a bathroom to calm himself down-- to throw some water on his face, and tell himself to get a grip. But, as upset as he was prior to Tate interrupting, unfortunately, he was only more so now. Because there was so much more he wanted to say to Eli. There were so many other things he needed to tell him, none of which he could say with Eli’s boyfriend standing right there. 

And maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was better that Cole didn’t get a chance to say those things. Because, despite his wishes, that one day he might be someone that deserves Eli Park-Sin, he knew it was selfish of himself to continue to hold on to Eli like that. Anyway, as far as Cole had seen, Eli seemed okay, right? Since their last fight? He didn’t see the same things in him as he did with any of the other big fights they’d had. Maybe Tate really was good for him, and Cole was just... standing in the way of Eli actually having a good relationship. 

It was a thought that hurt. To picture that someone else could make Eli smile-- or make him happy. And despite the fact that Cole still hoped one day they could be together, if someone else could make him happy now, why wouldn’t he let that happen? Why wouldn’t he just take a step back, and stop hurting Eli? Why wouldn’t he give him a chance to have a normal relationship? 

... Despite how much the thought of not being with Eli hurt him.

It was an idea he had to get used to. And maybe one day he could learn to be happy too-- no matter how far off that idea seemed. 

So, he had to dry his eyes. He had to pull himself together, because no way was he walking out of this bathroom crying in such a way. There were two people in this world that had ever seen him cry. And they were the only two people that ever would... or so he thought, of course. As soon as the last tear is dried, he’s leaving the bathroom. He didn’t realize that when he did, he’d be running into someone. Almost literally.]

Oh, sorry~. [A little pregnant bride has taken for a bathroom break. If it’s not morning sickness, it’s the little strawberry somehow pressing on a bladder bad enough for frequent bathroom breaks.]

S’fine. Sorry. [And Cole’s trying to skrrt out of her way, but his face still gives him away, because he’s still red and puffy.]

[And Loti’s too much of a sweetheart to not ask.] Cole? ... Is everything alright?

Yeah. I’m fine. 

You’ll have to forgive me for butting in, but you don’t seem fine. [She blinks.] You look like you’ve been crying.

You don’t have to butt in. [Like, he knows you hate him, Loti. He knows there’s no reason you should really care about whether or not he’s been crying.] I was just about to go home anyway. I’d say don’t worry about me, but I feel like I don’t have to say that to you, so... [He’s trying to skrrt around her again.]

[But she stops him.] You’re my husband’s best friend. If I want to butt in, I will.

[This one-- he just wants to avoid the subject of him crying.] ... Thank you for letting me be in your wedding.

Again, you’re Noa’s best friend... 

But I know how you feel about me. And it’s completely justified. The fact that you did it anyway, despite it all... Thanks.

You mean a lot to him. It was important to him that you got to share this day with him. I know that. I wouldn’t have kept him from having that. 

[Cole just huffs a laugh. You know, like, extra breath coming through the nose kinda laughing. He just hangs his head, and nods.] I’m glad he has you in his life. 

Thank you. I feel like I’m the lucky one. 

It’s not about luck. It’s about the person you help him be. 

I don’t think I helped with that. I think he’s always been good. 

Me too... But you help him feel like it’s true. He’s a better guy than I could’ve ever imagined. I feel like I’m the one who raised him. I helped him be a man, but you helped him be a good man. I’m thankful... that you loving him did everything that I couldn’t. Because... I don’t think I... could’ve helped with that. 

[Loti grimaces, but she can feel his sincerity in that statement. She nods.] Thank you for being there for him.

And... [He takes a breath in and out. He squeezes his eyes shut while he says this.] I’m sorry.

[Loti flutters her lashes a few times-- confused.] Sorry for what?

For... hurting your family. Your sister, and your... [Both his sentence, and his eyes trail off there.] I know I shouldn’t have done what I did. I know I caused a lot of damage. I know it came between you and Noa. But I just--... I should’ve just broken up with her when I realized I’d fallen for-- for... But I knew if I broke up with Joi, your parents wouldn’t... It was my only way to be close to him, and I-- I was being selfish. I’ve always been selfish, and it broke your family up. It’s all because of me. I-I’m sorry. 

[Loti stares at him for a minute, because she’s not sure how to respond to that.] What you did wasn’t right. Yes. But since August, Joi’s found someone who really, really loves her. If you hadn’t done what you did, she may have never found him. So, while I don’t think it was good, I think it worked out for the good. I’ve never seen her this happy. 

I’m glad... I’m glad she’s happy. She’s not a bad person. She deserves to be happy. 

[Loti pins her eyebrows at him for a moment. She tilts her head at him in contemplation, and Cole feels very much so under a microscope right now.] Why does it sound like you’re saying you don’t?

I am a bad person. I don’t.

What makes you say that? 

You hate me, Loti. I shouldn’t have to explain any of it to you. 

I don’t hate anyone. I don’t think it’s right to hate another person. Do I think you’ve done stupid things? Sure. But hate isn’t something I’d ever use to describe how I felt about anyone. 

[Cole does one watery-sounding chuckle.] I get why your dad calls you cheonsa. 

[Loti gives one of these to that.]

And anyway, Cole... You can’t be that bad of a person. Bad people don’t think badly of themselves. They don’t think there’s anything to change. But you wanna be better... right? [Cole drops his head again and nods.] ... And you wanna do it for him? 

[Cole’s silent for a couple of seconds, as he contemplates whether or not Loti’s actually looking for his real answer.] ... Yeah... I do.

If you say I make Noa believe he’s good, and he says I make him want to be good... then I guess you have your own Loti. 

[Cole shakes his head.] I wish I could have a relationship like you and Noa have.

[And for once, in all this time, it’s like a truth is finally hitting Loti.] ... You really do love him a lot, don’t you?

[It’s another moment where he’s not sure if Loti wants to hear the actual truth, or not.] ... More than anything. More than myself. 

[And listen-- she can relate. She can relate so hard. She sighs, and she speaks quietly to him, as if to be gentle with him.] He loves you too. [Because she’s his twin. She can recognize these things.] 

[But Cole, he just shakes his head again.] Not anymore.

[SHE IS HIS TWIN. SHE CAN RECOGNIZE THESE THINGS. Do you really think his damn twin buys this Elate thing? She doesn’t.] Make yourself see a better person in you, come back in a month, and prove yourself wrong. [She’s pursing her lips into a line at him.] Otherwise you’re just hurting him and yourself for no reason. 

[Cole doesn’t understand this. And it’s not like he and Loti have ever had a conversation like this before, ever, so of course it would confuse him now. Of course he wouldn’t expect to hear Loti being what seemed to be ‘accepting’ of any relationship he would have with Eli. Why should he expect to hear her say nice things about him? She’d never appeared to like him before. What was the difference?] I know you’re a nice person, but why are you being nice to me?

Because I know what it’s like to hurt because you regret hurting someone. And I know if you want to be a better person, and you’re doing it for him, there’s no way you don’t actually love him. So, despite what’s happened in the past-- if Joi’s moved on, I should too. And my husband loves you. If he can see something good in you, I should try to do it too. If that means understanding how much you love Eli first... then consider it done.

[And here she goes again, surprising him with her words. He’s shocked. He doesn’t know how to respond. He’s thankful. He’s glad to know that someone as nice as Loti can say she’ll try to see goodness in him. And, yet again, he’s grateful that Noa has someone like her in his life. That’s what he deserves. Someone so forgiving, and patient.] You accept it?

[She nods slowly.] I will try.

[And, guess what? There’s an object that is suddenly burning a hole through his pocket. And object that, perhaps, he was going to try to give away to it’s original owner earlier, but was interrupted. And maybe now he realizes it wasn’t a smart idea to try to give it in the first place. But, if he looks at it everyday he’s away, he’ll just torture himself. And, honestly, he doesn’t trust his mom not to ransack his room and get rid of a ton of shit, so-- it needs to be safe. And, he loves Noa, but he knows him well enough to know that he wouldn’t do what Cole wanted him to do with it. Maybe... Loti would? So, with a few blinks, he pulls the ring from his pocket, and he examines it for a moment, long enough for tears to shimmer at the corners of his eyes again. And then he pushes it towards Loti.] I need... someone to keep this safe... while I’m gone. 

[Yes, she recognizes it as the ring Eli wore for like two weeks. She furrows her eyebrows at him.] Me? 

Tell me if you don’t want to. Tell me if you won’t. But I just-- I want to know it’s being taken care of, but I don’t want to be staring at it every night for a month either. I feel like it’ll be... counter-productive. 

[Loti looks at it for a moment, tilting her head at the little ‘c’ ring. And then she puts a hand on it. She grasps it in her fingers while it’s still in Cole’s hand.] I’ll do it. 

... Really?

I’ll make sure to take care of it until you get back. Yes. 

[No, really. Truly the world’s biggest cheonsa.] ... Thank you, Loti. 

Of course. [Anything for the godfather of her child, right? lol.] And good luck... while you’re gone. I hope you find it helpful. 

[He slow nods one time.] Take care of Noa for me. 

[She gives him a small, slight smile.] Always.

[And now he’s returning that smile, and turning on his way, probably go to tell Noa he’s leaving, and to give him one more hug, and Loti’s going into a bathroom, because how did the poor, pregnant girl hold it for so long? Okay, the end. I’m emo.]

[justjin-ah]

there’s no reason to have a creative title for another 99 qs w/ Jenna

1. What is your full name?

Jenna Bang, also spelled Jin-Ah, also 방진아

2. Where and when were you born?

May 18th, 2094, in Korea.

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Park Jin-Woo Big business guy. Still not fully sure of what his actual job in the company is, but it’s something to do with Samsung. I think... Anyway, he’s super nice, there as much as he could be, given the big important business job, super protective, almost in the ‘over’ field. But he’s a great dad.

Park Soo-Ah Stay-at-home-mom. Very enthusiastic homemaker. Loves grooming her daughter to be a wife. Means well. Kind, but usually only to people she doesn’t consider beneath her.

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

I’m an only child, but I’ve always considered my cousin, Taemin, to be a brother more than anything else. We’ve always been close. Even when he still lived in Korea, and we only saw each other every summer. We’d Skype, and everything, super frequently, so it’s like we were never apart anyway.

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live in a ridiculously large house with my husband and our fiance. 

6. What is your occupation?

I guess I should get one of those soon, shouldn’t I?

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

5′6″, about 108, Korean, currently dyed blonde, shoulder length hair, brown eyes. Clothes like lol this or this or this, and definitely a lot of these. Because the husband has the hots for them. No scars or tattoos or anything.

8. To which social class do you belong?

Upper, I guess.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Nope~.

10. Are you right- or left-handed?

Right-handed

11. What does your voice sound like?

like this i suppose those giggles what a baby

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

Recently it’s ~divorce~. 

13. What do you have in your pockets?

I don’t keep things in my pockets, unless it’s a phone. We were given purses for a reason.

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

Ask my husband, I’m sure he’d say I have a lot of annoying habits~. As far as any of the other things go, I’m not too sure.

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?

From birth till the time I was 8 was great. I spent all of my time running around with Taemin and bothering him. Or cooking with Mom. Or hugging Dad’s legs whenever he got home. Or dancing, either at class, or in my room, or with Mom, even though she said I was much better than her. After I moved to America, I had to grow up a little faster, because I had to learn a new language, and that’ll grow you up really fast.

16. What is your earliest memory?

Dancing on Dad’s feet when I was about 2 or so.

17. How much schooling have you had?

I’ve graduated high school.

18. Do/did you enjoy school?

Not the academic side, really. The social side was fine.

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

Eomma and Taemin. Appa too-- just not as much.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

Taemin. He was like the cool older brother. Which, now, as a teenager, I realize Taemin is a big nerd, so... :D I still love him though.

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

We all got along very well, and we still do. My family is very important to me. 

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I’ve always wanted to own my own dance school, ever since I can remember. 

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Dancing, playing with/bothering Taemin, learning to cook, taking walks with Eomma and Appa, when I moved to America, it was riding bikes with Marina and Darla.

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

Very social. Loud. Opinionated. Pretty much how I am now.

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Yes, once I moved to America. I’ve lost a lot of those friends, but I don’t really care all that much. I still have the ones that matter, like Marina and Darla. 

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?

... Shit. Uhhh. I think I was 10, actually... A dumb playground kiss, you know? I think the boy was dared to do it, but he ran away before I realized what had even happened. Real kiss? 15? Some guy I thought was cute... Jackson? Something like that.  

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

LOL. No. Again, 15, with the same guy.

28. If you aren’t a virgin, would you take your first time back?

No? Guess not.

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

I believe it was a Memorial Day party at Frankie Sandiego’s house~. 

30. Who has had the most influence on you?

Either Eomma or Taemin~.

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My dancing accomplishments are a pretty great achievement to me.

32. What is your greatest regret?

I regret a lot of stupid fights with Gun and Jae.

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Thrown a ring in my husband’s face?

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

No.

35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

When I thought I was pregnant.

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

I don’t think I’ve ever been extremely embarrassed over anything that’s happened to me.

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

I think I’d Gun in my room when my parents came home so it would just be over already, and they’d know about him, and I wouldn’t be able to let my fears of losing be an excuse to keep hiding him... 

38. What is your best memory?

I think when Gun and Jae proposed for real. Or the first time we all...  ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) 

39. What is your worst memory?

Walking out that hotel room door and leaving both of them there.

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

It depends on the situation.

41. What is your greatest fear?

Losing my parents. Or losing Gun because he gets sick of having to hide.

42. What are your religious views?

I prefer to live my life by my own set of rules.

43. What are your political views?

Let people do what they want, unless they’re hurting themselves, or someone else.

44. What are your views on sex?

I’ve always thought it was the greatest thing on earth, but it’s even better with someone you love, and even even better if it’s with two other people.

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

I don’t think I could kill anyone, no.

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Abandon someone they love.

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

I have two~. I’m not complete unless I have both of them.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

Being happy, surrounded by everyone that you love.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

It depends on who I’m talking to, but most of the time I’ve very open with my thoughts and feelings.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I don’t like to play favorites with anything, unless I’m teasing Gun. In which case, I’m biased to Jae~.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I’ll never leave Gun and Jae again. It wouldn’t matter what my parents said. Point blank, I will never leave them. No matter how many times I kid about divorce. I’m in this for the rest of my life.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Gun and Jae. My parents. Taemin.

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

I’m not a mean or rude person, unless you’ve done something to tick me off. 

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

I have two. Gun and Jae. Because I couldn’t live if I didn’t have them.

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Taemin. He’s full of unconditional love, and his relationship with Darla is enviable. 

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Marina, Darla, Taemin-- those are the only ones nowadays. Marina has been my best friend since I was 8. She’s like a little mini-me, to be honest. I think I molded a lot of her personality. Like a mom, but her age.

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

~People. A husband, and also a fiance. Gun, the husband, is like the other side of my coin, which is probably why we fight so much. We’re practically the same person. We think the same, we act the same, we even talk the same most of the time. Everything about us screams explosion, and we like to toss the word ‘divorce’ back and forth, but I know he loves me. I couldn’t imagine life without him. Even if it was just me and Jae... I couldn’t picture not having him there. Even if I have loads to say on his patience... he really must have a lot, to put up with what I put him through. I’m grateful to him. And I’m ridiculously in love with him. I’d happily put up with the hard stuff to keep him. Also he’s so hot he makes me fucking wheeze, damn it. Jae, the fiance--... How do I describe the kindness? The warmth? The generosity and care? I’ve never met a guy like him-- someone so willing to put up with the two idiots he has to put up with on a daily basis. Patience is a word I’d have to use for him too. He’s dealt with so much, between how I’ve treated him, and how Gun’s treated him, and how we’ve both treated him together, but still he pours so much love out. It’s rare to find someone with so much love to give, but every day I’m surprised by him. And, honestly, I’ve been in love with him since the first time we kissed. I’ll never let him go. He’s mine and Gun’s other third.  Also, Oppa hnnnnnnnng

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

Crazy in love, yes. With Jae, it seemed to come quicker-- easier. Like I said, I feel like I’ve loved him since our first kiss. That whole, what, ten days? we spent together only solidified it-- deepened it, ya know?  With Gun-- it wasn’t much longer to fall in love. I feel like both started at the same time, but it came on at different paces. Sometime in what’s dubbed as ‘depression week’ is when I realized I was fully in love. 

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?

Gun Bang and Jae Sin. 

60. How close are you to your family?

We’re very close. Always have been.

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Oh, god no. I just-- don’t feel like we’d be ready for that. Not with everything going on, and just... I don’t know if I even want kids. 

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

The husbands. Or Tae and Darla.

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

See above answer. 

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

My whole family, I’d assume.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

There’s something deep inside that really loathes Robbie Rogers nowadays. Don’t know where that came from.

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Jesus Christ, do I ever argue. 

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

I love being in charge.

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I used to. Nowadays, not so much. I’d rather just be with my boys~. 

69. Do you care what others think of you?

Not anymore, unless it’s my parents.

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Dancing, going out with De La Park, getting coffee with Marina on Sunday mornings, kitchens~. 

71. What is your most treasured possession?

Both of my rings.

72. What is your favorite color?

I like lavender. And mint. Also pink.

73. What is your favorite food?

I actually like pizza. Sorry, Korea.

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I don’t read much.

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) 

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

I drink every so often, but it’s pretty much banned in our house after the incident. 

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

If my parents don’t scoot in on it, it’s with Gun and Jae. 

78. What makes you laugh?

Gun getting irritated~. 

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Mostly my husband’s behavior, but that doesn’t shock me anymore~. 

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

Tell Jae to come to the kitchen with me, of course.

81. How do you deal with stress?

Either arguing for stupid reasons, or sex.... or both.

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

Spontaneity. 

83. What are your pet peeves?

Gun Bang’s attitude, obviously.

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

I don’t like routines all that much.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?

My choice in significant other?

86. What is your greatest weakness?

There are a few.

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d care less about what my parents have to say about my relationship.

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted around those I like.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized. 

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Dancing, cooking, .... sex....? 

Knowing when to stop arguing, listening instead of speaking, monogamy???

91. Do you like yourself?

Not very much, no.

92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

To have my parents love Gun like I do.

93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Hopefully with both husbands, and still getting to see my parents.

94. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

A long time from now.

95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Tell my parents, hug them, spend the rest of the time with Gun and Jae.

96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

An amazing dancer, honestly.

97. What three words best describe your personality?

Sarcastic, argumentative, but caring.

98. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

I imagine the same three.

99. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?

Sigh, just tell your parents and get it over with.

[justjin-ah]

99 For Loti

1. What is your full name?

Charlotte Park-Sin, Loti for short, and 박-신로티 in Korean.

2. Where and when were you born?

April 22nd, 2119, and in a hospital?

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Gun Park-Sin, AKA Dad -- He’s the principal of the school I go to. He’s super-protective, but I know he means well. He just loves me, and I love him too. He’s very important to me.

Jae Park-Sin, AKA Appa-- He’s... Co-Principal? Vice-Principal? I’m not sure... He’s goofy, and silly, and I think I inherited a lot of his personality.

Jenna Park-Sin -- She teaches dance at, you guessed it, my school. They all own the place. I think I inherited a lot of her personality too. Just less than Appa. She’s a very caring person, and she’s super sweet when she’s not fighting with Dad. :S

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Two. Joi and Eli. Joi is also protective of me. She looks out for me. She takes care of me. She’s kind, and sweet, and she asks for nothing in return for it. I love her.  Eli... Well... He’s Eli. My twin. 

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live with my parents and my siblings. The house is so huge. I’ve lived here my whole life, and I still don’t think I’ve seen all the rooms.

6. What is your occupation?

Student!

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

5′4″, about 100 (wtF IU), Korean, long black hair, brown eyes. Clothes like this or this or this, or more rarely, this. A scar on my knee from when I fell off my bike when I was 7.

8. To which social class do you belong?

I don’t like to talk about class. My parents have money. That’s it.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

I’m allergic to certain fruit. It’s irritating!! I love fruit!! >:(

10. Are you right- or left-handed?

Right-handed

11. What does your voice sound like?

higher than iu’s that’s fersher

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

I don’t know... I say sorry a lot!

13. What do you have in your pockets?

I don’t have pockets often, so I don’t keep anything in there but a phone. 

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

My voice gets higher when I lie..... I’m a bad liar........ even though I’m having to get better at it........ :((((

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?

Perfect, aside from the times I’d hear Mom and Dad fighting, and think they were going to get a divorce. Sometimes I still think that, though.

16. What is your earliest memory?

Sitting on Dad’s lap while he played piano.

17. How much schooling have you had?

From Preschool until now.

18. Do/did you enjoy school?

It’s alright. I like it well enough!

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

Everyone in my family.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

I’ve always looked up to Dad. 

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

We all got along really well. All of us. Most of us still do... Most of us.

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a princess till I was thirteen.

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Playing with Eli and Joi, braiding hair with Appa, playing piano with Dad, dancing with Mom, cooking with everyone, riding my bike, once I finally learned, chasing butterflies, etc.

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

A pretty big scaredy-cat, very quiet around anyone that wasn’t my family, clingy, helpful.

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Nonono. My only friends were my siblings.

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?

Noa Lee, when I was 14.

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

I am not. I was 16, and it was with Noa Lee. 

28. If you aren’t a virgin, would you take your first time back?

Never ever. 

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Meeting Noa.

30. Who has had the most influence on you?

Probably Joi. 

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

... Do I have any of those? 

32. What is your greatest regret?

Breaking up with Noa that one time... I wasted time with him that I can’t get back, and made myself have to be that sad for no reason.

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

See above answer.

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

Absolutely not!

35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

A few weeks ago, when I found out about the baby.

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

Too many things! I’m so clumsy. :(

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

See answer 32.

38. What is your best memory?

Mine and Noa’s ~wedding.

39. What is your worst memory?

See answer 32.

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

I try very hard to be optimistic, but a lot of the time it comes out pessimistic. 

41. What is your greatest fear?

Dad sending me away from Noa, or hurting Noa, or both.

42. What are your religious views?

I try not to dwell on the thought too much, because the idea hurts my head, but I’d love to know that there is a higher power out there watching out for people.

43. What are your political views?

I don’t pay attention like I probably should.

44. What are your views on sex?

I really love it. Like, really. But be sure to wear protection if you’re not ready for a family!!! 

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

No, no, no, no. I could never see a reason acceptable for taking someone’s life. It will always be unacceptable to me. 

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Kill someone!!! 

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

Of course I do. I always have believed in them since I was little, but now I know I have mine, and his name is Noa Lee. 

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

Love.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Very much so honest.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I try not to have them, but I know I must have them somewhere.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I would never, ever, let anyone take me away from Noa, or let them take Noa from me. 

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Noa, our baby, my parents, my siblings.

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

I try to treat everyone kindly, but there are a few people in the world that make it hard to do that. 

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Can I say two? Because it’s Noa and our baby. They mean the world to me. They’re my everything.

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Joi, because I wish I could be as strong as she’s been.

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

I don’t really have friends outside of Joi and Noa, but that’s fine. I guess, by extension, Belami is too. 

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

Noa Lee-- the love of my life. My soulmate. My true love. The father of my baby. My ~husband. My world.  No one will ever make me feel the way he makes me feel. He makes me feel beautiful, and special, and smart, and strong, and like I can do anything, including taking care of someone else. He’s perfect, and gorgeous, and wonderful, and caring, and he takes care of me, and our baby. He’s going to be an amazing dad.  He’s also really....... really hot.

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

I’m in love right now! It was love at first sight. Ever since then, I knew I’d never love anyone else.

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?

Noa Lee.

60. How close are you to your family?

The closest! Except with Eli, but... well... we used to be.

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Technically, yes. I’m only six weeks pregnant, though. 

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Noa or Joi.

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Anyone in my family, but especially Noa, Joi and Dad.

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

I hope my whole family would.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

I try not to despise people. I don’t really want to hate people at all. Anyone who’s hurt the people I love usually end up close to that, though.

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I hate arguing. I’d rather avoid it.

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

No!!! 

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I do! I like going to parties and talking to people. It’s fun! 

69. Do you care what others think of you?

Unfortunately, I do most of the time.

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Dancing, cuddling with Noa, cooking with Mom, playing piano.

71. What is your most treasured possession?

My ring from Noa.

72. What is your favorite color?

Pink!

73. What is your favorite food?

Kimchi fried rice, even though it’s disgusting to even look at right now. :(((

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I like poetry. :)

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Candyland is fun. And also she agrees ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) etc.

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

I don’t do any of that! 

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

I spend time with Noa.

78. What makes you laugh?

Appa.

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Cole Bae, usually.

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

Read, or snuggle further into Noa.

81. How do you deal with stress?

Not great!

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

I like plans.

83. What are your pet peeves?

Liars. 

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

It’s mostly throwing up nowadays. I’d love for that to be disrupted.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?

I have no idea. 

86. What is your greatest weakness?

Where do I start?

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d want to be a stronger person.

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

I can be either, but usually extroverted.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized. I don’t like messy. It stresses me out.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Um... Cooking? Schoolwork? Piano?

Where should I start?

91. Do you like yourself?

Not really.

92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

I just want to be the best person I can be.

93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Raising a child (maybe 2 by that point.) with Noa Lee, as the real Mrs. Lee, in a house of our own.

94. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Old! 

95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

I’d want to be surrounded by family. That’s all.

96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

That I loved with everything I had.

97. What three words best describe your personality?

Kind, scaredy-cat.

98. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Kind, adorable, sweet.

99. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?

LOTI MFIN LEE, YOUR DADDY WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU TELL HIM YOU’RE PREGNANT.

[justjin-ah]

99 Cole Qs?

1. What is your full name?

Cole Bae, AKA 배콜 (Koreans don’t have middle names)

2. Where and when were you born?

October 26th, 2116, I wanna say it was probably in Korea.

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Go Bae --  Unemployed, married rich. Resident uninterested mother, yet still somehow has time to hate her child’s significant others. Hm. Chin-Hwa Bae(?) Rich guy. Usually equally as uninterested. 

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Gochin. She’s a bitch. We don’t get along. It’s like Mom saw the damn future when she named her.

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live with my mom and dad and my sister, in a house that’s way too fucking big for four people, but that’s fine, because we all want the space away from each other anyway.

6. What is your occupation?

Ha, I don’t work. I’m still in school because I’m shit at focusing on it.

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

5′10″, about 140-something?, Korean, dyed-pink hair, brown eyes. Clothes like this or this or this, no tattoos, scars, etc. 

8. To which social class do you belong?

Upper. Halabeoji and Halmeoni are rich as hell, and left a pretty hefty sum of money to Mom’s trust fund, not to mention Dad, so.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

I don’t know. I have pretty shitty springtime allergies?

10. Are you right- or left-handed?

Right-handed

11. What does your voice sound like?

a bench found a whole af video for this

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

A variety of different curse words, usually. 

13. What do you have in your pockets?

A wallet? A phone? Some keys? 

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

The need to always be in charge is probably an annoying habit to some. 

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?

Lackluster, and mostly spent on my own.

16. What is your earliest memory?

Moving to America, probably.

17. How much schooling have you had?

Too many years.

18. Do/did you enjoy school?

It’s a necessary evil.

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

From myself, mostly.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

I didn’t really have anyone to look up to, no.

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

I didn’t. I still don’t. It’s everyone for themselves in the Bae household.

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to dance. I think at some point in my life I envisioned being an idol, but I don’t think I could put in the selling of my soul for that.

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Dancing, playing video games in my room to hide from Parents and Gochin, going outside to get away from Parents and Gochin, getting into trouble to bother Parents and Gochin, being an ass to piss off Parents and Gochin. Seeing a pattern?

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

Sarcastic, asshole, troublemaker kid. Probably a little bully. Maybe. A bit.

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

I’m still popular. Everyone wanted to be my friend.

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?

Ah, shit. Uh... It was one summer-- I was like, twelve? It was some middle schooler party. Ya know, with spin the bottle, and shit. Which is a big fucking deal when you’re twelve. It was dark. I hardly remember who it was, if she even still lives in this town.

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

Hahahahahahahahahaha. No. I’m not. It was with Susi Wone, of all the damn people, when we were 14. Early bloomers.  

28. If you aren’t a virgin, would you take your first time back?

Maybe? No? I don’t know. It was just sex. It doesn’t really matter.

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Falling in love with Eli.

30. Who has had the most influence on you?

Eli... or Noa.

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Managing to have someone as remarkable as Eli Park-Sin picking me to fall in love with.

32. What is your greatest regret?

Doing things that make me unworthy of his trust.

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Probably... cheating on someone with their brother? 

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

There is no ‘record’, persay.

35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

When Eli left my house the morning after we...

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

I tend to not embarrass easily.

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

I would break up with Joi the night I meant to, give Eli his ring, and have an honest start with him, because maybe then, he’d trust me.

38. What is your best memory?

This, and also the morning after that.

39. What is your worst memory?

Finding out Eli doesn’t trust me.

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Somewhere in between.

41. What is your greatest fear?

Screwing up so bad Eli never wants anything to do with me ever again.

42. What are your religious views?

Eh.

43. What are your political views?

Those Lee-Roths aren’t bad, I guess. 

44. What are your views on sex?

Sex is great, and it’s even better when you’re in love with the person. 

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

I don’t know. Probably not. I don’t know if I could say a circumstance where I think it’d be acceptable. According to the law, it’s unacceptable? That’s what I do know? 

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Constantly hurt the people who love them. Go figure. 

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

I do, because I know who mine is.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

Living it the way you want to live it.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Pretty honest, nowadays.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I’m pretty biased towards Eli Park-Sin.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I don’t know that it’s possible for me to say that. Everything in my life has usually been based off of a circumstance. But, if it’s one thing, it’s probably cheat on Eli, whenever I managed to gain his trust, and we end up back together. Because... that’s still a hope.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Eli and Noa. 

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

It depends on the person, yeah. Anybody who I don’t care about a lot gets treated with contempt, usually.

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Eli, because no one makes me feel the way he does, and he makes me want to be the best person I can be. And Noa, because I feel like I raised him.

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Noa, because he’s the type of boyfriend I want to be.

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Noa Lee is my best friend, and also the only friend that matters, despite the fact that I have a flurry of people constantly following me around that I call ‘friends’. He’s a punk jackass, but he’s also a cuddly sweetheart, who would kill me if he saw me calling him a cuddly sweetheart. 

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

... Not currently, no.

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

Of course. I’ve only mentioned him in half of these questions. I don’t know. When I finally noticed him, and I gave him the time of day-- I liked what I got to know, and then he fell asleep on my shoulder, and I looked down at him, and nothing’s been the same since then.  Also I was kinda a little bit in love with Noa when we first met, but that was like super brief, and no one needs to know about that. Ever.... Ever.

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?

He’s gotta be obsessed with milk. That’s the deal breaker.

60. How close are you to your family?

I am not.

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Oh, fuck no. I can’t even take care of a boyfriend right now, let alone a baby. 

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Usually I’d say Noa, but he’s got more things to worry about right now than me.

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Well... Noa. Because he usually does, even if I don’t ask.

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Eli, I’d hope. Noa. Maybe some of those other friends that aren’t important. Probably Elliot.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Probaby... Elliot? I don’t know. The obsession isn’t cute like it is with Eli. 

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I’m the fucking king of arguing.

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Generally.

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I do, usually because people are paying attention to me, and I like that.

69. Do you care what others think of you?

A few people, yeah.

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Dancing, camping with Noa, ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

71. What is your most treasured possession?

This fucking ring with my initial on it. 

72. What is your favorite color?

Red.

73. What is your favorite food?

Hotteok, bitch.

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?

People when they’re lying.

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Dancing, K-Music of most kinds, western music of few varieties, video games of the battle type, ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) etc.

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

I drink on occasion, but not usually in excess, unless I’m ridiculously pissed off about something.

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Well, this past Saturday night was pretty typical... ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

78. What makes you laugh?

Eli being clumsy.

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Nothing, at this point.

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

81. How do you deal with stress?

Usually a lot of yelling.

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

I’m okay with either. 

83. What are your pet peeves?

Fuckin’ milk.

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

Wake up, go to school, dance practice, avoid the people I don’t want to see, talk to the people I do want to see, dance practice again, go home, sneak over to a Park-Sin’s place, and it used to be sleep there for the night, but recently it’s been scoot after Eli goes to sleep.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?

I like to think there’s a lot, but it probably isn’t true.

86. What is your greatest weakness?

Eli Park-Sin. note from the author, it’s also probably Elliot too, Cole.

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My ~untrustworthiness 

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted as hell.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized chaos.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Dancing, grabbing attention, sex?

Gaining truST, not arguing, giving up control.

91. Do you like yourself?

Most of the time, but not much recently.

92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Get Eli’s trust. Hopefully that won’t take a damn lifetime, but I’m beginning to wonder.

93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Hopefully with Eli, for fucks’s sake.

94. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Quickly? I guess?

95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Let me direct you to this, where I pretty much answer that question. 

96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

That I wasn’t so terribly shitty. At this point, that’s all I can hope for.

97. What three words best describe your personality?

Outgoing, in charge?

98. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Bossy, argumentative, idiot.

99. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?

Cole Bae. Cole... Bae... Please.... My son. My boy. Get........ some help.

[justjin-ah]

23 Questions that are too personal by Park Jinah

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Are either of those things supposed to be easy?

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

Anytime I’m angry usually has to do with my husband, and the last time is no exception. It just feels like he doesn’t take things seriously enough sometimes. As far as still feeling that way-- usually. But maybe I’m not so angry about it anymore.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

The plane gives you a life vest for situations like that, assuming you’re over water. Otherwise, I’m calling my husbands, and saying I love them, and to be happy with each other, I guess.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I couldn’t hide that. Not from Gun and Jae, at least. Honestly, I’d just want to spend every second that I could with them. And, I’d probably be a little afraid.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Love and Trust. Which do you choose? Why?

How is someone supposed to pick between those two things? 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

Guess I’m finding a new job. I can’t imagine letting myself be haunted by the picture of a drowning dog every night.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

Well... that’s happened a couple of times. And I can’t say either one feels good. 

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

I’d say, Marina, did you and Frankie get in a fight.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

There’s no need for me to give up a year for a person who lived like, 90.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Um. Sometimes. I try to be a good friend. I can be a bit self-minded at times.

11. Does love = sex?

In my experience, it equals a lot of it. Marathons of it.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

I’d find it hard to give up a job for anyone.

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I have to do it a lot. Marriage is about honesty.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

Saying I love you wasn’t so hard for me, so I guess the second one.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

I’m weighing the difference between my parents, and my husbands, and it almost feels like it would hurt just as much to lose either. They all mean the world to me.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

Mom. 

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I can’t think of anything within the last month. Now, further back, I’m sure there are a lot of things I would try to fix.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

If I knew CPR, maybe, sure. Why not?

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

I’m not a baby person, but halmeoni’s already dead, so. A baby’s a baby.

20. Are you old fashioned?

Not at all.

21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

That’s marriage~.

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

True love. Any day. 

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

That I wouldn’t have to lose my parents to keep my husbands.

[justjin-ah]

Sal-ayers Sr.

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Salem Daniels

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Style/Color:  Dark brown, and like this usually, because that’s how it is naturally, and she’s normally too lazy to do it any other way. Only if it’s an occasion she deems super-special. And since this is Salem, that is rarely, if ever.

Height: 5’ 0” , the midget

Clothing Style: Leather, leather, and LEATHER

Best Physical Feature: That smile that she rarely gives.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

Your Fears: Being vulnerable, or showing any emotion in general that’s not annoyance and irritation

Your Guilty Pleasure: Emotions and/or Oliver Min, or the two together

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: Oliver Min

Your Ambition for the Future: Music. That’s it. Music.

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: Punching the alarm clock

What You Think About the Most: Music and not Oliver Min

What You Think About Before Bed: Sweet sleep, take me. Also Oliver Min

You Think Your Best Quality Is: Musical abilities

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Ew. Single

To be Loved or Respected: Loved Respected 

Beauty or Brains: Having some form of brain is desirable. But abs.

Dogs or Cats: Dogs

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU?

Lie: Only about feelings. Lying about other things aren’t necessary.

Believe in Yourself: Sure.

Believe in Love: Ugh.

Want Someone: ...

LAYER SIX : EVER?

Been on Stage: It’s her favorite

Done Drugs: Maybe once

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: As if she cares enough

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

Favorite Color: ........................ pink

Favorite Animal: Dogs

Favorite Game: Oliver Min

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: Sunday

How Old Will You Be?: 17

Age You Lost Your Virginity: That depends on your definition of virginity. But, really, this has not hAPPENed somehow.

Does Age Matter: She ain’t give a heck

LAYER NINE : IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: One that can keep up with hers.

Best Eye Color: Who cares

Best Hair Color: Cotton-candy head ass~

Best thing to do With a partner: Make out in a bathroom. Or shower. Or closet. Or uncle’s bedroom. 

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: music. Only music. 

I feel: something for Oliver that I don’t want to define, because that’s scary as hell.

I hide: everything about me. Even from myself, if I can help it.

I miss: nothing, I guess.

I wish: I didn’t have these dumb feelings.

[justjin-ah]

23 Questions That Are Hard by Loti Park-Sin (Lee)

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

I don’t find either particularly hard.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I don’t like to talk about that time, because I don’t feel that way anymore, I didn’t feel that way by an hour later.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I can’t imagine Noa not being with me, so I’d call Dad and tell him I love him, and tell him to tell everyone else that I love them too.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

Of course I’d be afraid! I wouldn’t want to die. I wouldn’t want to leave everyone here sad like that. I’d want to tell people, so they could prepare, and so we could all make the most of the days I had. 

5. You can have one of the following two things. Love and Trust. Which do you choose? Why?

I trust the people I love. 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

The dog!! I can always find another job, but I’d never be able to get rid of the guilt of letting the dog die!! 

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

He’d never hurt me again. 

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

My best friend and I are in love already. :)

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

I don’t think a year for an hour is a fair trade.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Of course! I try my best to be a good friend!

11. Does love = sex?

I was in love for a long time before I had sex. So, I don’t think it has to. But it’s definitely a nice addition.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

If I’ve been at the job a long time, that means I have the experience to find a new job, so that means I could just find a new job, and let the person with no other way of getting money keep the job! 

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I’m always honest with how I feel. There’s no reason to hide your feelings. 

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

Telling someone you don’t love them back would be hard, because it’s hard for me to hurt people’s feelings. 

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

Noa Lee, and this baby. Because they’re the two most important things in the world to me.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

Dad or Joi.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

A week, or so ago, I would’ve said protection!!!! but... now I don’t think I’d change anything.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Oh, dear. I don’t know CPR. D:

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

The baby!!! THE BABY!

20. Are you old fashioned?

Only in some things, but not a lot of things.

21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

I would never expect anything in return for kindness!

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Love is everything. I’d hate to have never loved.

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I want nothing more than for Dad to love Noa as much as I do.

[justjin-ah]

23 Questions that I’d Probably Never Answer Out Loud by Cole Bae

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

The second one.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

Probably when I saw Eli with Tate. And I realize the ‘why’ is a stupidly hypocritical why, but I can’t help it. I’m stupidly hypocritical. I’m not so angry anymore as much as... disappointed. In me. 

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I’d probably call... Eli. I’d tell him how much I love him. That he shouldn’t doubt that I ever did, even when my actions might’ve said otherwise sometimes. I’d say that no one ever made me feel the way he did... that he made me know how to love myself on more than just a superficial level. Honestly, the plane would probably crash before I could tell him everything I wanted to say.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I wouldn’t want to tell anyone. I wouldn’t want anyone treating me any differently because they knew I was dying. I’d just want to live life like it was every day. Maybe I’d tell Noa, just so someone could know, but I’d want him to keep it a secret if I did. I’d probably be a little afraid.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Love and Trust. Which do you choose? Why?

I want both. That’s non-negotiable. 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

I’d save the fucking dog. I’m not heartless. 

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

I think they’re the same person, and I think they’ve already done that.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

I’d say wtf Noa, are you drunk? Where tf is your pregnant girlfriend? Loti, help.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

I’m not giving up a year of my life for any person in my family. 

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Yeah, I think I’m a pretty decent friend.

11. Does love = sex?

In my own experience, I don’t have to have sex with the person I love. I just have to hold them. Would I be okay never having sex again? Absolutely not, but there are times I could go without it, sure.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

Sorry, pal. You’re losing your job.

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

It was when Eli and I broke up. And it was me telling Eli we should break up. That was hard. Everything in me was telling me not to do it, but--...

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

Telling the one person I’ve ever said that to was hard. But as soon as it came out, it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. 

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

My love for Eli. And I guess it would be hard, because I kinda feel like it defines me now.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

I guess that was Noa, who is my best friend. And that would be when he told me about Loti being pregnant. 

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I don’t know how changing anything in the past month would change anything right now. I honestly don’t know what I would do differently to get something different in the present.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Sure, if no one else was around to do it. Why just let someone die if they can live, ya know?

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

You mention newborn baby, and all I can think about is Noa and Loti’s kid now, so I’d save the newborn. 

20. Are you old fashioned?

Hahahahahahaha.

21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

Surprisingly, I do this pretty frequently.

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

True love, I’ve learned, is worth any heartbreak I could feel.

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I’d find a way to make Eli trust me.

[justjin-ah]

23 stupid questions answered by Salin Min

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Considering no one gets to feel how I really feel, let’s go with the second one.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I’d say November 1st was probably the last time. Why? It probably had something to do with Scarlet Moon and fucking Bang Park-Sin going to her room after Bang decided he was going to show me his damn closet and be all fucking ridiculously intimate and tell me he’d do anything just to have a conver-fucking-sation with me, only to go. sleep. with. Scarlet. :) Am I still mad about? Hell ya. 

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

The better question here, is why is the flight specifically being said as from Honolulu to Chicago? What does the location matter? And why am I making a phone call instead of trying to jump out of the plane and live? How stupid.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

Sure. Why not warn people? If I have a month to live, I want people to know. As far as the last days go, I’d make sure to get the last bit of chaos in, and prank Mom and Dad back a little more frequently. But would I go pouring my heart out to everyone? No. Why die any differently than I lived? And, honestly, I’m not afraid to die. Death is death. It’s not a terrifying thing.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Love and Trust. Which do you choose? Why?

I don’t need either. Both are ridiculously disappointing to put your hopes in.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

Animals are better than people. I’d save the dog.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

I don’t love or trust anyone.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

That’d be weird, considering the only person I’d call a best friend is related to me.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

Nobody’s died as long as I’ve been alive. Not anyone close to my life. 

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Sure, why not. I think I’m fucking cool.

11. Does love = sex?

Ask someone who’s in love. 

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

Ever heard of seniority ruling? Get over it and get a new job. 

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I don’t tell people how I feel.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I’ve never done either, but I’m assuming it’d be pretty easy for me to tell someone I don’t love them back.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

The emotional wall, probably? Because it’s security, and control.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

I don’t tell people that, romantic or otherwise. Maybe Dad, when I was like, 7, or something.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I don’t know. Maybe pay the dickhead more attention at the birthday party so he wouldn’t end up going upstairs with that bitchass Scarlet.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

I don’t even know CPR. 

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

I could just let both of them go?

20. Are you old fashioned?

Definitely not.

21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

X

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Never fucking loved.

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

Do anything? Feel a bit easier than I do. Maybe? Dunno.

[justjin-ah]

Scar-lAYERS (IT WORKS THIS TIME)

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Scarlet Moon AKA 문사카렡

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Style/Color:  Black,  like the gIF.

Height: 5’ 6”

Clothing Style: This or this, with not much in between

Best Physical Feature: Look at those lips, bench.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

Your Fears: People lying about liking her, and actually hating her

Your Guilty Pleasure: Bang Park-Sin

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: Salin Min

Your Ambition for the Future: Owning her own dance studio

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: THIS

What You Think About the Most: How to be the best at everything she does.

What You Think About Before Bed: NOT Avery

You Think Your Best Quality Is: All

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single

To be Loved or Respected: Respected

Beauty or Brains: Shallow bench #1 cares about beauty

Dogs or Cats: Cats

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU?

Lie: Obviously

Believe in Yourself: 99% of the time

Believe in Love: Not really

Want Someone: Sigh, yes.

LAYER SIX : EVER?

Been on Stage: She thrives on it

Done Drugs: Nope

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: She would absolutely never.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Like a sky blue

Favorite Animal: Peacocks

Favorite Game: Games are for children

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: sppppppp idk

How Old Will You Be?: 17

Age You Lost Your Virginity: PROBABLY 14

Does Age Matter: NOPE not to her.

LAYER NINE : IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: She likes the personality of someone who worships her, tbh.

Best Eye Color: Brown?

Best Hair Color: Pink is nice~

Best thing to do With a partner: ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: myself first

I feel: like no one else really does

I hide: how I feel

I miss: that jerk, Avery, unfortunately.

I wish: he wasn’t lying when he said he loved me.

[justjin-ah]

Joi (Also doesn’t have a way to incorporate) Layers

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Joi Park-Sin, AKA 박-신조이

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Style/Color:  Please see gif.

Height: 5’ 4” 

Clothing Style: This or this, with not much in between

Best Physical Feature: Eyes

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

Your Fears: Being unlovable :(

Your Guilty Pleasure: Do any Park-Sin’s have a “guilty” pleasure? At least any of the women?

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: People that get in business that isn’t their own

Your Ambition for the Future: Learning to love herself

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: The bed is cold :( (except for whatever time she can get Belami to stay until morning, in which case it is about cuddling up to Belami to get warm)

What You Think About the Most: She’s obsessed with Belami

What You Think About Before Bed: BELAMI

You Think Your Best Quality Is: Ask Belami, she can’t answer that question for herself yet.

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single

To be Loved or Respected: Loved.

Beauty or Brains: Do the PARK-SINS care about brains? 

Dogs or Cats: Dogs

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU?

Lie: Everyone lies

Believe in Yourself: No, and don’t tell Belami

Believe in Love: More than herself, for sure.

Want Someone: Without a doubt.

LAYER SIX : EVER?

Been on Stage: Duuuuuh

Done Drugs: Nope

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Negatory

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Probs red

Favorite Animal: Ever since she saw that Swan Lake ballet, it’s been swans

Favorite Game: Candyland with Loti

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: Friday

How Old Will You Be?: 18

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 14, thanks Cole Bae.

Does Age Matter: She doesn’t really care.

LAYER NINE : IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: Kind. GEnUinE. HONEST.

Best Eye Color: Eye color is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things

Best Hair Color: Whatever BELAMI has

Best thing to do With a partner: Just talk.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: BELAMI KIM

I feel: happy for the first time in my life

I hide: LOTI’S SECRETS

I miss: nothing, because the present is much better than the past

I wish: I could help Loti more

[justjin-ah]

Loti L-ayers (Like Lee??? But layers.)

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Charlotte Park-Sin, AKA Loti, AKA 박-신로티  

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Style/Color:  Black, long like a princess

Height: 5’ 4”

Clothing Style: Skirts, pink, any variant of this

Best Physical Feature: That smile rip

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

Your Fears: I could write a list. Disappointing her parents, her family hating her, losing her family, losing Noa, being sent awaY from Noa, being pregnant, whether or not she can be a good mOM. THE DARK.

Your Guilty Pleasure: She finds no guilt in her pleasures.

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: Her father’s attitude towards Noa.

Your Ambition for the Future: Having a big family, which is already coming TRUE LOL.

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: Nowadays, it’s about puking.

What You Think About the Most: This baby, and if she and Noa will be able to do parenthood.

What You Think About Before Bed: How her parenTS are going to react to her being pregnant.

You Think Your Best Quality Is: Ask again later. She wouldn’t know what to answer.

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single.

To be Loved or Respected: Loved.

Beauty or Brains: She doesn’t really care how book smart a person is, and look at her husband/boyfriend. Like-- what a catch, Loti.

Dogs or Cats: Both!!!!!!!!!!!

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU?

Lie: She doesn’t like to, but yes.

Believe in Yourself: NO!!!!!!

Believe in Love: More than anything.

Want Someone: Of course. For the rest of her life.

LAYER SIX : EVER?

Been on Stage: She’s a dancing bench in a family full of dancing benches. Yes.

Done Drugs: NEVER!!!!!!!

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: She wouldn’t.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Pink, of course.

Favorite Animal: All!!!!!!

Favorite Game: Idfk. Candyland?

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: Monday

How Old Will You Be?: 17

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 16

Does Age Matter: She’d probably say yes.

LAYER NINE : IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: NOA’S!!!!!

Best Eye Color: It’s not important, but she loves Noa’s!!!!

Best Hair Color: Also not important, but sHE. LOVES. NOA’S!!!

Best thing to do With a partner: It depends on the mood she’s in, but usually it’s falling asleep beside them.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: Noa Lee

I feel: sick

I hide: PREGNANCY

I miss: not puking every five minutes

I wish: Dad didn’t hate Noa

[justjin-ah]

♥

[justjin-ah]

비밀

[Guess what? I already had a new post tab open, so let’s write this f’er without internet and use my phone hotspot. I’m cheating the system, bench.

So, it’s been, a week??? since the ill-fated party, yes? Which means it’s been just about a week since Jenna showed up at Marina’s door, holding it all in until she could get up to her best friend’s room and cry her eyes out some more. She didn’t say much to start, but Marina is a great friend, and she just let her get it out. She probably assumed it had something to do with those two boys anyway. 

And, of course, she was right. When she finally got Jenna calm enough to be able to talk to her, Jenna gave her the whole spiel-- starting with where she’d most likely left off-- telling her the whole story about Gun apologizing, and what happened there, and hurting Jae, and the week of shared depression, and the birthday party, and getting drunk, and nearly doing a both, until she was left out of it, and she found out about the sarang. 

And poor, poor Marina. She was trying her best to understand it all, but of course, she was way out of her league with this. She had her own issues in love, of course, but it was nothing like what it was with Jenna. It was nothing nearly as deep. She felt bad for her poor best friend, so unused to feeling this way for anyone, and suddenly being throWN into a chaotic situation where she felt this way for more than one person. And just to find out that they had been in love with each other? Yikes. Marina hoped she’d never be able to relate. 

Because Jenna couldn’t stop going on and on about how they both kept telling her they loved her, and she kept going on about how she loved them too-- both of them, but it felt like perhaps, one day, they’d come to realize that maybe it wasn’t true that they felt that way. Marina could do nothing but sigh and hold her poor, crying friend, and let her do just that-- get it all out. 

But, honestly, she had no idea what to tell her. 

And this had been going on for the full week. Jenna never even left Marina’s house-- she was too afraid one of the boys would show up, she said, and it hurt too much to see them. It hurt too much to see them upset. So she never left. Not only the house in general, but Marina’s room, outside taking a shower when Marina managed to get her to do that. 

Any other time, she just wanted Marina to hold her, because it felt like enough of a comfort that maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could close her eyes and pretend it was one of the boys. Sigh.

And that was the scene right now. Jenna, numb as anything, being held by her exhausted friend, who had had to stay up with her several nights while she did her crying thing.]

Jenna, you should probably eat something. It’s been awhile.

I’m not hungry.

I know you don’t feel like it, but eventually you’re going to end up passing out, or something. I don’t know what to do with a person passed out from hunger.

It can’t be much different than a person passed out from alcohol, right?

I’d rather not take that chance. 

I’ll eat later. 

You’ve been saying that for days. 

I haven’t been hungry for days. 

[A sigh.] Jenna, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to take care of yourself. 

You just don’t understand.

I don’t know what it’s like to be in love and be hurt? 

It’s not even remotely the same thing. Unless you’re suddenly in love with Rogers, and Rogers and Sandiego are in love with each other, against all those damn odds, you don’t know what it’s like.

But watching him date someone else hurts all the same.

Is he even still dating that--?

Please just let me try to comfort you without us making this about me for once.

Sorry.

You said they’re were just as broken up as you were. 

It felt real. But it’s hard to trust anyone when you’ve been lied to. If I had just known... if someone had just told me...

You what? Wouldn’t have fallen in love with them? You’re definitely new to this, because I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s not the way love works. If you love someone-- you just do. Whether you want to or not. It just happens. And you can try to stop it from happening, and you can try to tell yourself that’s not how you feel, but, deep down, you always know you’re wrong. And trying to not fall in love somehow makes it happen faster. Take it from me. 

This isn’t like you and Frankie, okay? You only want him. He only wants you. It’s so easy, Marina. But you two make it complicated. You two are creating problems that don’t exist. I didn’t create any of these problems with Gun and Jae, they just happened. It’s complicated enough on it’s own.

... I get that. I get all of it, okay? Heard. But I still know what it’s like to try to stop yourself from falling in love, and all I’m saying is that it doesn’t work. You don’t choose who you fall in love with, if it’s one person, or if it’s seven. It’s all the same.

I miss them, Marina. I miss seeing them. I want to be with them both so badly, but that’s not fair. I can’t make a choice, and it hurt everyone, and now I know they’re in love with each other too, and it’s just--... I just want things to go back to the way they were when I first met them both. 

[Marina gives a kind of ‘hmmphh’ chuckle sound.] 

Are you laughing? Marina, it’s not funny. I don’t know what to do. I want them back, but I-- I can’t.

No, I mean... it’s kind of funny, Jen. 

Excuse me? 

Listen! I mean-- you’re in love with them, they’re in love with you-- and each other. It’s like... [that same ‘hmmphh’ chuckle sound.] Why don’t you just uncomplicate it all and date each other~? [She laughs again, and it’s clear that maybe she was just trying to make Jenna laugh.]

[However-- her words seem to have turned on a light in Jenna’s head. Gears that have never turned before seem to be turning right now. She’s silent, and she’s staring with a raised eyebrow of contemplation for a solid twenty seconds, and for a moment there, Marina thinks she don fucked up. But Jenna is just--] ... Wait.

... Wait, what?

... Wait.

Wh-- [And she sees it rising in Jenna’s mind-- the acceptance of such an idea.] Jenna, wait, no, I was just making a joke.

But... Would that work? 

Jenna, you can’t all date each other! What the hell??

Polyamory isn’t a new thing, Marina!

I know that! But--...

... How do I get them to agree to that? 

You can’t be serious. 

I am! If we all love each other--...

Holy shit, Jenna.

I want us to be happy.

AND YOU THINK A THREESOME WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN??

It’s not about sex! It’s about a relationship.

... You’re serious about this, aren’t you? Like, actually serious.

I don’t know why it didn’t cross my mind before...

Jesus H. Christ... [Marina’s rubbing her forehead.]

... If I could get them both in the same room again... to talk... Maybe I could try to convince them. [Marina whale sounds.] Boys go for that kind of stuff, right? [Marina just ‘idontknow’ from behind her hands.] Marina help me.

[She comes up from her hands blinking.] F-Fine. Yeah. Okay. Sure. [But she doesn’t know the first thing about how to help. Yikes. Good job, Marina. Swell job indeed. MVP of the SS Gaenna. We love you.]