justthesillyoldme

[justthesillyoldme]

Two years ago and still nothing.

This realization has been with me for two years. EVRYTHING IS STILL THE SAME.

Malapit nang matapos noon ang unang taon ko sa kolehiyo nang mabalitaan ko na isang batchmate at kaibigan ko na nagaaral sa kalapit na university ang namatay dahil nahagip ng isang cargo truck. Pamilyar ako sa lugar kung saan sya naaksidente dahil araw-araw dumaadaan din ako doon. Tandang-tanda ko pa yung signage na nakapaskil bago magintersection: TURN RIGHT ANYTIME WITH CARE. Dahil nga may island ng stoplight sa intersection nagkaroon ng extra branch yung intersection, cars and trucks can just turn right even if the light is red. Kapag hindi ka extra careful you'll find yourself in an accident. That's exactly what happened to my friend.

What's the point?

After his death, that's the only time when they changed the sign (something about stop when red light is on) and made the pedxing clear. When I saw the change I was so mad and frustrated. Why? BECAUSE MY FRIEND HAD TO DIE FIRST.

What happened to Kian the grade 11 who was killed, triggered this memory. I am asking myself now, how many more young lives should end like Kian's? What do we need to open our eyes? These two events may not be in the same context but I hope you get the point.

Our country does not deserve this. The Filipino people, specially our youth should not be experiencing this.

Wake up Philippines.

[justthesillyoldme]

[justthesillyoldme]

[justthesillyoldme]

Follow your heart this 2019. 💕

Happy New Year!

[justthesillyoldme]

Goyo ang Batang Heneral ng Batang Pilipinas

After watching GOYO on its second week, I am still thinking of the movie, our history and the likes. One of the books Direk Jerrold suggested the viewers to read was A Question of Heroes by Nick Joaquin (w/c I got myself as a birthday gift) made me think more as well.

In both the film and the book Goyo was presented as a young man, dashing, courageous and talented but looks up to Aguinaldo regardless of all the decisions and actions he has made (including killing one of the best general, who could have probably won the revolution; Antonio Luna).

There, one immediately finds the flaw in the Young General.

Maybe it's just me but I don't (want to) blame Goyo. In the midst of the revolution and chaos though skilled, educated and ambitious, as a yound man he needed someone to look up to specially he is far from home, far from his family. In Joaquin's book the incident in Kakaron De Sili is cited, where Goyo's so called brothers in the katipunan sold Maestro Sebio to the Spaniards to be executed. Witnessing betrayal amongst Filipinos during the time when we need to fight side by side. When we, Filipinos need to be united. I think he needed someone to help him help the revolution and it was Aguinaldo whom he saw (technically it was Miong who saw him; Gregorio).-- My feels in this relationship.

My mom asks me why am I obsessing and actually stressing over this film. It was based from an event that already happened. An event that I cannot change.

Kumbaga, anong ipinaglalaban ko?

Ano nga ba?

After Luna, which gives you intense fire blazing feeling. Goyo makes you THINK deeply.

And in this thinking, I just can't shake off the eerie resemblance of the Philippines in 1899 and Philippines today, 2018.

I can't help but look at Goyo as portrayed in the movie and our country today with some sort of metaphor. Specially in this line of Mabini from the film:

“Gusto kong patunayan na marunong tayong makidigma nang may kadakilaan at paninindigan. Pero dahan-dahan na akong naniniwala na baka nga tama silang tawagin tayong mga bata.” -Apolinario Mabini

I want to believe that Goyo had a transcending moment in Tirad Pass. I want to fully embrace the image of Goyo in Tirad Pass from the movie, because it gives me hope.

Hope that LOVE can move a person to forget himself and yearn to do what is truly RIGHT.

I also have this same hope for us Filipinos, for our nation. Specially during these time of election.

Did Philippines mature with Goyo as portrayed in the film?

Or we're still not ready to hear the Truth that we need to hear to be a better nation.

[justthesillyoldme]

Ex by Callalily

Is it me o sadyang ang lakas makaWorship song nito?

[justthesillyoldme]

Sa Lapag ng Sahig

Pagod na ako

Pagod na akong umiyak nang magisa

Pagod na ako

Dahil wala akong kasamang bumubuhat

Sumigaw man ako

Wala namang interesasong makinig

Ang kasama ko lamang ay ang hangin sa aking mga paghikbi.

Pagod na ako

AYOKO NANG UMIYAK MAG-ISA

Pagod na ako

Gusto ko rin namang maranasang may kayakap

Pagod na ako

AKO NAMAN ANG PAKINGGAN NYO

Pagod na pagod na ako

Samahan nyo naman ako sa pagiyak ko.

-C2018

[justthesillyoldme]

I think I’ve finally freed myself from the illusion that there’ll be a chance that the cosmos will align in favor of the possibility of you and I.

[justthesillyoldme]

Way of Life

All I can feel is drowning

Even though I'm basically crying

Many times I've said: I'm done

But there's always this small voice saying: I can't be gone

I'm going crazy, insane perhaps, maybe.

Somehow I can still see the reason to be happy

But still I'm being thrown down like a clay like never before.

Each slam on the floor I've bore Slowly stripping me out of myself.

Being a nobody for everybody.

[justthesillyoldme]

Para sa mga umiibig nasasaktan pero umiibig pa rin kasi… tanga. Sampung bagay na natutuna ko sa mga umiibig. Una, napakatamis ng mga simula, ng mga umaga na ang bumubungad sayo ay ang kanyang mukha. Nag aalmusal ka ng kilig at pag dating sa gabi ay baon mo sya hanggang sa pag-himbing. Dito, dito mo matututunan ang tunay na kapangyarihan ng isang ngiti, ng ibang kamay na humahawi sayong buhok, ng mga matang sumisisid sayong kaluluwa. Pangalawa, napakadaling maging kampante at masanay sa pagmamahal, ang malunod sa kapangyarihan ng ‘kami’, ng ‘tayo’, ng ‘atin’, pero paano naman ang kanya? Paano naman ang ako? Napakadaling malunod sa akalang, ang iyo ay mananatiling iyo. Pangatlo, mapapagod ka. Pero pang-apat, ang tunay na pag-ibig hindi dapat sinusukuan diba? Pero pang-lima, ang tunay na pag ibig ay hindi parating sapat, kapag ang mga pakpak na binigay sayo nito ay bumigat at naging kadenang ni ayaw kang patayuin. Kapag ang langit na ang dating nilipad mo ay naging kulungan na nasa iyo naman ang susi at kandado pero ayaw mo pa ring lisanin. Pang-anim, ang pinaka mabagsik mang apoy ay mamamatay, maghanda ka sa sakit. Pero wag kang mag aalaga ng galit. Ito ang pang-pito, iiwanan kang puno ng sugat, pilat, at paltos nito, iiwanan ka nitong abo. Pang-walo, maghanda ka sa wakas. Pang-syam, alam ko parang hindi ka pa talagang handa sa wakas, wala naman kasi yatang nagiging handa sa wakas. Pero pang-sampu, nandyan ang wakas at sa wakas, mahalin mo pa siya, sa tingin, sa tanaw, mula sa abo na iniwan ng dati ninyong apoy, mahalin mo pa siya. Pero kapag ang pakpak ng dating pag ibig ay naging gapos na, kapag ang langit na minsan mong nilipad ay naging kulungan na, mahalin mo siya sa huling pagkakataon. Pagkatapos bitaw na.

Juan Miguel Severo (via lostinfinities)

[justthesillyoldme]

The right choice is hardly ever the easy choice

Julius Kane (Kane Chronicles: The Throne of Fire)

[justthesillyoldme]

Source: #Hugot (Book)

[justthesillyoldme]

I have cried an ocean for you but still your ship refuses to sail.

Michael Faudet  (via discolor3d)

[justthesillyoldme]

Never let a girl have false hope. Be a better man than that and spare her heart.

C2015

[justthesillyoldme]

You can call me crazy and delusional but this guy really puts a genuine smile on my face. Happy Birthday, Kim Soo Hyun! Saranghaeyo! <3

[justthesillyoldme]

Beauty is not long hair, skinny legs, tanned skin or perfect teeth. Believe me. Beauty is the face of who cried and now smiles. Beauty is what we feel in the inside which also shows outside us. Beauty is the marks the life leaves on us, all the kicks and the caresses the memories leave us. Beauty is letting yourself live.

Emma Watson (via roselynjolie)

[justthesillyoldme]

Yes. Healing indeed takes time. And I wonder when will be Four be healed.