jvngminseok

[jvngminseok]

“I can’t believe this guy. I throw everything I’ve got at him, and it doesn’t even…?”

Jimin was already slurping the noodles when Minseok continued to speak, he was quick to swallow the food and set the bowl down so he could face the older male. “W-Was I supposed to say something? I don’t understand.” He looked to Bomi but she was already busy eating the sweets that he had so lovingly bought for her. “Hyung, I was wondering.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap. “Why do you insist on meeting us all the time?” Jimin was curious really, it seems that ever since he and Bomi started dating, well ever since he and Bomi had sex. Minseok had decided to ask them to cafe’s and restaurants and the likes. To sit down and meet with them. Now Jimin didn’t know if it was a coincidence or if Bomi really went around telling her friends that they had sex. Not that it was really a secret, they seemed to stay clung to each other any chance they got. He smiled nervously, “N-Not that it’s a problem. I really like you hyung.” 

[jvngminseok]

起 承 轉 結 August 30th

[jvngminseok]

an apology and a goodbye

i’m really sorry to whoever i’ve made feel like i was ignoring them or not willing to plot with them. that’s far from the truth and i really wouldve liked to plot with anyone who was interested. that was the reason i linked my muses’ wanted connections pages here a while back, so anyone could im or reply to the post if they saw something that interested them. i’m definitely guilty of bubble rping and i’m sorry for that, but i’ve been trying to reply to starters and pick up new threads lately, and had plans to write two closed starters for ty and kat. i am genuinely sorry if i hurt any mun’s feelings or made them feel unwelcome, and also sorry to those i was currently plotting with. making anyone feel unwelcome or ignored is the last thing i would’ve wanted to do.

and i really don’t want this to seem like a back-handed apology for me mentioning this, but i have some things that’ve been concerning me for a while and i think i might be leaving the rp because of it. i believe that admins should set an example for their members by practicing what they preach and also break out of the habit of bubble-rping, especially when it comes to certain muns & ship partners, and also be replying to new starters they see in the tag. i’m also very confused when it comes to activity checks, as sometimes there hadn’t been warnings given out to those who were inactive and instead just ‘unfollow’ posts were made. back in april, i apped with a muse named jisoo and acceptances for that week were slow and seemed like it’d be rolled over into next weeks, which was fine, i didn’t mind waiting- but then admin tuli made a post in the ooc blog telling everyone to follow her new muse jeongdae. i felt really hurt and confused as to why i had to wait to start plotting and threading with a muse i was excited for and like my time was less important than the admin’s. by the time jisoo was accepted, i was disheartened and didnt want feel like writing for them. while i know admins have some special privileges, i felt like this was unfair.

i’ve received my first strike, and while i completely understand why, i feel a little hurt and like once again feel that the admins aren’t held to the same standards. i’ve been with this rp since it’s official re-opening, and i truly enjoyed every moment spent here, making friends, writing angsty, fluffy, cracky threads and developing my muses. i’ve developed so many unique and interesting relationships with everyones’ muses, and i’d like to thank everyone who ever threaded with me and took an interest in my muses. i truly loved this rp, and perhaps that’s why this stings. but i think i’ll be leaving, because my depression and anxiety especially haven’t been doing well as of late and i’m not sure this is the type of rp i should be in anymore. so thank you, guys, and i’ll see you later. 

[jvngminseok]

cosmic bloom | do not edit

[jvngminseok]

when heidi had taken over as leader, minseok had his doubts. doubts that he tried not to express, but seemed to show themselves anyway whenever he questioned her decisions. it was a result of their previous leaders bowing out on them at the drop of a hat rather than anything he had against her personally, and he didn’t want to emotionally invest- to get to know her beyond a professional scale if she was only going to leave. he had been polite, but not as candid and friendly as he had been in the past. he hadn’t even realized he was doing it, questioning her, until she had put him in her place. after that she had gained his respect and unexpectedly, minseok began warming up to her. he didn’t want to cause more problems anyway, as the outlaw bloods seemed to have more than enough already. he’d do whatever he could to lighten the burden that came with being the leader.

he had been sporting an usual fashion today, rainboots on his feet and elbow-length rubber gloves on his hands accompanied by an apron to protect his clothes underneath, though it didn’t do that great of a job. he was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt anyway, so it didn’t matter much. but perhaps this was the real tragedy, minseok looking like a sweaty mess while mopping and bleach-bombing the floors of their gambling halls. the last thing they needed was any police snooping around, or any unsettled actual cleaning professionals calling them- so the bloods had to do most of the cleanup themselves. the feathers had just made things that much more tedious. he allows himself a break when he sees heidi leaving to a more secluded room, ringing the mop of it’s water and resting it in the bucket before trailing off after her. he had helped with most of the cleanup of the other two halls, and so he cut himself some slack for letting some of the newer recruits work a little harder at cleaning this one. he had been meaning to talk with heidi about when she thought they’d be able to open up again, business as usual- though she didn’t look to be in a good state to talk. he may be butting in on what was supposed to be a private moment, but minseok felt the need to check on her.

 “sajangnim?” he called out, peeling off one glove before he reached up to lower the mask that’d been covering his face with his ungloved hand. he didn’t know yet if she preferred being called with or without honorifics, so for now he’d stick with the latter just in case. “stupid question, but are you alright? i think we’re almost done with cleaning up the blood. but i don’t know about the other damages.” he took off his other glove, holding both in his hands as he moved to stand beside her, his eyes softening when he sees her body wrack with the sobs. minseok knew what it was like to cry like that, and to have that sense of dread in the pit of your stomach. but he didn’t want to comfort her in the typical fashion, to tell her empty words like ‘it’ll be alright’ when minseok really wasn’t sure that it would be. there was no way to tell what would be coming next after this foreboding message that’d been left for them. “we’ll find out who did this.”

to say heidi was stressed was an understatement. coming into the position of leader was already hard, and her being a bit new meant she knew the ins and outs, but not the ins and outs. she had an entire gang to uphold, one that was falling apart at the seams, and the recent attack on their gambling halls, had not lifted the burden she was carrying. when news broke, anger was too mild of a word to describe what she felt when she saw it. she her self had went on a tangent, though mild, a few chairs had been kicked over, glasses broken in her own spout of rage. but the feathers had sealed her astonishment. 

now here she was, by herself, sweating in the end of summer heat, onyx tank sticking to her skin, while she put together what was torn apart. the outlaw bloods were her entire home, the only remembrance of what she called family, and tears filled her eyes as she rummaged through the debris of one of their gambling halls, though the other two had been cleaned to the best of their ability, this one still remained, decrepit and broken, blood and feathers littering the concrete flooring. this was the icing on the cake, she was already struggling to keep her gang from falling apart, already labeled now as the underdogs, the most vulnerable of the big five and it hit her close to home.

she swiped a bloodied hand on her mid-wash jeans, hand coming to her mouth to mask her sobs as she looked around the destroyed room, her black hair damp and coiled against her forehead. entire body shaking as she cried.

[jvngminseok]

gpdeokhye:

“Damn right  you won’t do anything stupid, Minseok,” She said with a huff and a humorless laugh. “Because you’re not going anywhere near that psychopath without me.”

She’d never trusted Seung and she couldn’t imagine a day when she ever would, especially not now. If this mess was caused by the Nameless, then Minseok was right. Someone would have to answer for this and who better but their newly appointed leader? But there was no chance in hell that Deokhye would let Minseok confront Seung alone. Seung was unpredictable and dangerous, a killer with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Deokhye was a strong competitor but didn’t stand a chance against Seung. She had too much to lose now and she wouldn’t risk it. 

 "I’m just so..“ Clenching her fists, Deokhye let out a growl, low in her throat. Just looking at the halls was making her angrier and angrier. There was no real proof that the Nameless were the culprits, but who else would leave feathers? She couldn’t think of any other gang who associated themselves with such a motif. And who else was stupid enough to start shit with the Bloods? She wanted to scream, she wanted to kick things and throw things, but she knew she couldn’t with Minseok here. She had to stay calm for him. For her sake if not his. He didn’t need to know how fragile she had been lately. She was barely holding it together. He didn’t need to know about how angry and bitter she’d been recently, especially not like this. Maybe he’d find out eventually but not now.  If he held her tight enough, maybe he’d feel the sharp, jagged edges of the broken pieces inside, but for now Deok would pretend everything was alright.

"I swear to God I’ll murder every last Nameless member with my bare hands. I’ll burn their fucking headquarters to the ground, take fate into my own hands. Who the fuck do they think they are playing us like this? Do they think they’re invincible now that the almighty Jung Seung is in charge? You know what I think? They should’ve all died in the fire back then! They’re fucking useless and now they’re nothing but problems. Aish—!” Ruffling her hair in frustration, Deokhye must’ve looked as much of a mess as she felt. Her hair was bright red, but her face must’ve been a similar shade as well, only growing hotter and hotter as she continued. “Corpses wouldn’t cause problems like this. If Seung is the one behind this, then prepare my funeral, Minnie, because I will rip him apart even if it kills me. I’m so fuckin–" 

Deokhye shook from rage, a quelling in her bones that couldn’t be ignored. She was bubbling, boiling and she wasn’t sure that even Minseok could tame her right now. She wanted to scream and break things. Her words were bitter and sharp, purposefully hateful and caused by her negative emotions, but they still held a semblance of truth. If they’d been wiped out in the fire none of this would be a problem. Her hands shook as she dug in her pockets to fish out a cigarette. She held it to her lips and lit it, taking in a lungful of smoke. The ashes of the cigarette fluttered down into her chest but she was too perturbed to notice the small pricks of heat. "I need to fucking punch something. Now.”

A fond grin settled on his face when she said that he wouldn’t be going anywhere near Seung without her. “I had a feeling you’d say that.” They were partners in crime, and partners in life too. He appreciated the sentiment, but he didn’t want Deokhye to come along. But he wouldn't say as much. He had to let her believe that they would go see him and sort things out together. If this had been anything else, like a renowned gambler he had planned on cleaning out, he’d happily enlist Deokhye’s help. But this was something different, more dangerous. And Deokhye faced so much danger already, she sought it out even (as did he) and he’d rather keep her away from the biggest threats. The plan was that they would live together and die together, but not today. 

He could tell that she was beginning to lose it, and while he wasn’t unfamiliar with Deokhye’s temper, this time he felt uncomfortable- at least when she mentions killing all of the Nameless. It was just talk, he knew, because actually following through with that would incite a gang war for sure. But that wasn’t his only concern, as Bomi’s face had briefly flashed through his mind and filled his chest with a sense of dread. “You can’t. There’s someone in the Nameless I have to protect,” he mutters, keeping his eyes trained on her face instead of the horror show around them and raising a hand to gently card fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her down. He was sure it wasn’t working. But he understood her anger. “We have to keep a cool head about this, baby. But we will find out who did this, come hell or high water. I don’t like Seung either. Don’t think anyone does, really- but he might not be the one responsible for this mess.” He was pissed too, that someone had not only done this to their gambling hall but tried to scare them with whatever kind of message this was supposed to be. They were supposed to be wondering what kind of terrible thing would come next. And he was wondering, but Minseok didn’t want to give it time to come to pass- and that’s exactly why he had to speak with Seung. He didn’t want their new recruits, their younger members to be scared because of this, to rebel against them even more and say that they were done, they wanted out. And then they would have to learn in the most terrible way possible, they couldn’t get out of this life even if they wanted to. Minseok prided himself on his patience, but having the very people he recruited himself be disobedient and question the Outlaw Bloods made his patience wear thin. Even the drugs Minseok’d been trying to get them hooked on wasn’t enough to quell their fear and rebellion.

When she lit her cigarette, he gently took it from her and put it in between his own lips to take a drag before handing it back. He couldn’t think rationally here, and neither could she. It was kind of hard not to be rumbling with anger when the floors were soaked with blood. This was their pride and joy, and if you were as sentimental as Minseok was- a second home, even though it wasn’t much of one, considering it was always filled with drunk men and women and angry amateur gamblers who’d been swindled out of their money. But it was filled with fond memories too. “Let’s get the hell out of here. We might be able to think more clearly at home,” he says, taking her free hand back into his and pulling her towards the exit, letting out a sigh of relief as soon as the night air hit his face. All that blood had been beginning to get to him.

the summer days drifted away

[jvngminseok]

What’s closer to god: thirst or confession?

Kristin Chang, from “Outcall #,” published in The Wanderer (via lifeinpoetry)

[jvngminseok]

wondering what it means to survive, if you have to eat others to do it.

Diane Wakoski, from “Stargazer,” Dancing on the Grave of a Son of a Bitch (via lifeinpoetry)

[jvngminseok]

in too deep | self-para

He was sprawled on the bathroom floor of his new apartment, Deokhye out working a job so he had the place to himself for a while. Minseok was contemplating, turning an orange prescription bottle around in his hands, looking at the white warning label pasted on the bottle. When he was younger, still living in that house, he would just break down and cry, have a panic attack when he was overwhelmed, felt helpless. It was hard not to feel helpless, when your father took his anger out on both him and his mother and he was too weak to protect her, to even protect himself. He had been so pathetic back then, so miserable. The most his father had ever done for him when they were still a family was send him to a psychiatrist, and Minseok suspected that might’ve just been because he was tired of hearing Minseok sob so loudly after the abuse. He was warned against saying anything that happened in their household and told to just talk about how school and studying so hard while preparing for college was causing him to have panic attacks so he could be prescribed for something. Like the drugs would be a magic cure-all, and they were, for a while. When his mother finally divorced his father, he didn’t feel sad at all- as the bad memories far outweighed any good memories he had with his father. The only thing he felt was relief, and even now, years later- he the only he missed about his dad was the money his job provided. Minseok and his mother had both had to hustle after the divorce, and his Mom worked long hours while Minseok tried to balance school and a part time job. But there still wasn’t enough cash flowing in their household to have a decent quality of life, as his mom worked such late hours that he usually had to heat up frozen TV dinners whenever he got back from school or his job, and his backpack was falling apart. Eventually, Minseok got an idea- and started dealing his prescriptions to other stressed out students at school, and when he ran out he’d bribe some of the crooked pharmacy technicians he knew, bought more from other sources. Other plugs. That might’ve been the beginning of his so called deliquent lifestyle, and how he ended up here. 

He didn’t have as many panic attacks as he used to, but instead just shut down, tried to detach himself from reality as much as possible. And that was where the drugs came in to play. The stash he’d bought from other dealers just for himself. They helped him forget, helped him not feel haunted when there weren’t even any ghosts in sight. For the first time in a long time, Minseok wanted to die. He felt alone. But he knew he wasn’t, not anymore. But that didn’t take away the feeling. He had so many people that were precious to him and would be devastated by his death. And that was why he could never do it, that was why he was trying so hard to keep them all together. He raised his free hand to ruffle his freshly-dyed brown hair out of frustration, biting his lips hard enough until they bled. He had gone through so much since he’d joined the gang, lost a lot of people that were important to him like Jihoon, Hansung, and Hwajung. It made him savor the moments he had with the people he loved even more, even the casual light-hearted moments, the time he spent bickering with Yein or fussing over Hyemi, time spent wrecking havoc with Deokhye and chatting about Yerin’s interests with her. He thought that after a while the loss would stop hurting, but it never really did.

He wasn’t supposed to be this person anymore. He wasn’t supposed to be the weak, pathetic Minseok that he’d been in his teenage years. His body wracked with a sob, and he threw the bottle of pills against the wall- because he knew that he still was. Was he strong? He had to wonder. He had been trying so hard to become strong, someone dependable that everyone could lean on, but he wondered if he had even changed at all.

[jvngminseok]

💭 IMESSAGE ;; OBs 🔥

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: If you looked at it from every angle you would've found me. Wouldn't you?

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: Yein was too stressed and you guys let him roam the streets and not eat for days? He collapsed as soon as he got there apparently.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: Just admit that you guys were half assing it and you continue to do so now.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: I'm only here for my twin, which I can fucking play favorites for considering everything I do is for him.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: But fuck this gang. bc you don't understand how fucking tramaustic this is for me? don't act liek your pussy ass fucking gets it or that a sorry will fix what you fucking said.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: i get that and i'm being careful but i'm saying we shouldn't just pin it on the obvious

✌ Yein: alright guys, calm the fuck down. and leave my sister alone.

✌ Yein: i get that seung is a fucking psychopath, and yes he could've been using her by saving her, but yeri's allowed her own opinion here too.

✌ Yein: i don't trust the nameless as much as the next guy, but at the point i don't fucking trust anyone. have you seen how much shit has happened since the incident at hyuk's??? i don't think this is a pact issue anymore.

✌ Yein: something is going on, and if you can't tell that then you're fucking dumb. we get attacked at the same time as the wildlings. someone plants EVIDENCE that it's these two gangs, and now there's fucked up shit with the snakes and the lost boys. nobody is fucking dumb enough to leave the evidence that it was their own fucking gang.

✌ Yein: so can we all just calm the fuck down, and leave my sister alone because she's already gone through enough shit. we both have, and don't fucking stress her out anymore or i swear to fucking god i won't hesitate in what i do next.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: We're all stressed out Yein.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: No one can trust anyone anymore. Especially not Seung. I'm not gonna fucking preach to you anymore and tell you to stay away from him. If you wanna die, then go ahead and suck up to him but don't act surprised when he stabs you in the back. Literally.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: Threatening each other isn't gonna fucking do shit for us Yein. I get we're all mad but getting pissy like a little teenage boy won't find the culprit.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: Just

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: Fuckin play it safe for now kay?

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: You can kiss Seung's ass all you want but remember he's a PSYCHOPATH

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: He'll do whatever it is thta will help him

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: He doesn't give two shits about you or anyone and he won't hesitate to kill you if it will benefit him.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: No, I meant, you were acting like I didn't examine every angle of who might've left that message for us at Halls

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I can very much tell that, Yein, and I'm aware that something is going on that's much bigger than us. So, no, I'm not 'fucking dumb.'

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I know both of you have gone through a lot. But not just the two of you. The entire gang is suffering. I've been trying to keep us from crumbling from the inside out, and Yeri is just going to say 'fuck it'?? Like we're all a lost cause? So much for comradery.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Did I not say that I understood how traumatic it was and how glad I am that you're safe? Are you even hearing me when I talk, or are you only hearing what you wanna hear?

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I wasn't trying to pick on your sister, Yein. But I wanted to warn her about what Seung is really like, even if he saved her. He's not her knight on a white horse in shining armor, even if she wants to see him that way, he's a calculating killer.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: You want me to calm down, and yet you're making threats. That's not very calming, Yein-ah. But I've said my piece and I'm done.

[jvngminseok]

💭 IMESSAGE ;; OBs 🔥

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: Bullshit. Our lack of respect is a luxury we've damn well earned by now.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: The Snakes aren't as reckless as the Nameless are. Soonhee's a good leader. Seung is anything but.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: He probably saved you to use it against you. You're indebted to him now and this is exactly what he wants. He wants you to doubt his motives so you don't suspect him. He's a psychopath.

💎🔪Deokhye🔪💎: I don't like basing all of my accusations off of obvious clues either but it's all we have to go on. Unless you know of another gang would would want to frame the Nameless.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: 'Deserve our respect?' we're the weakest fucking gang?? We can't walk around like posh assholes?? that's probably why this happened!

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: are you fucking kidding me?? Do you even know what I went through? How could you say that to me?

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: no but if it was Deokhye I bet you wouldn't even THINK about saying it right?

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: were you drugged out of your mind? Starved? forced to pee out in front of people?? They found where my tattoo was which meant they say me naked at some point and I'm trying to fucking cope with that. Bc let's be honest if he just wanted to save me, he could've dropped me off in front of the HQ still fucking drugged up.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: Soonhee isn't reckless, but she raided all five of you guys like you were a grocery store with a 70% clearance throughout the whole store.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: what type of fucking bUllshit.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I really didn't mean to go off like that. Especially on you. But I don't you appreciate you acting like we half-assed this, didn't look at things from every angle- like we only want to pin it all on Seung because he's the easiest choice

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Are u really trying to act like I'm playing favorites rn?? As if you don't when it comes to Yein

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: He might've saved you, and that's something I'll always be indebted to him for, but that doesn't mean he's innocent. How do you know he's not the one who ordered someone to kidnap in the first place?? He's a calculating killer.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: And I get it, a lot of us have killed before but at least we don't get our rocks off on it like he does

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Yein was worried sick about you, and I was too. I looked for you, Yeri-ah. And I'm really glad you're back, in one piece. I hate that you had to go through that. I know it was traumatic. Maybe I'm just paranoid for thinking he might be trying to pull some stockholm syndrome type of shit on you, but like I said. He's calculating.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I was pissed when she cleared us out, I'll admit, and it put us out for a while. We had to work really hard to earn back what we lost, but we did eventually- because we're fucking good at what we do.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: If you want, Yeri, go ahead and bet all your chips on Seung. But don't say we didnt warn you

[jvngminseok]

💭 IMESSAGE ;; OBs 🔥

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: It's probably the lack of respect our gang has for the others that's why we probably get shit on by everyone else. That's why I call him Sunbae.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: but you are because you're not considering the other possibilities. You're looking to make allies which is fine, but what it could also be the wildlings. For the same reason that yein said that seung saved me; to clear their name. It makes them look like the victim.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: I know a lot of the time I'm ditzy and I'm naive but I know he didn't do it and if it was by the gang, he doesn't seem like the type to keep troublemakers around.

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: what is that supposed to mean, minseok?

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: I don't seem mad? In what way?

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: I get that but I don't think we should be threatening all of their members when you guys couldn't even find any clue except for the obvious

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: We're respectful to those that deserve respect. The Nameless was a better team when Sunok was still in charge. Much how like we were better when our gang wasn't in a state of anarchy

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: just that i think you're trusting the wrong person, that's all

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I don't think of you that way at all, Yeri. I know you're smart.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: I've yet to threaten anybody. But I did plan on talking with Seung.

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: .. 'when you guys couldn't even find any clue except for the obvious'

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Sorry, but were you the one to walk in to the halls at 3 AM to see the floors caked with blood??? No one in sight??? Nothing except for liters of blood and fucking feathers? We had to shut down to clean all of it up, we lost business over this

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Not to mention we don't even know whose or WHAT kind of blood it was. I'm a drugdealer, not a forensic analyst. So forgive me if I'm not ready to rule Seung out just yet.

[jvngminseok]

💭 IMESSAGE ;; OBs 🔥

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: guys I know the nameless looks like they did it but...

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: I don't think Seung- sunbae would've saved me if he really did...

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: i think we should look at other groups? Like the snakes??

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: Maybe that's why the Lost Boys attacked them because they framed the nameless and they're like.. allies, right??

✨🌸 Yeri ✨🌸: i get being angry.. IM angry.. but I don't think we should bet all of our money on one card..

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Sunbae???? Ur really calling someone like him sunbae??

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: He might have more experience being in a gang than u do, but there is nothing about that guy you should look up to him for, unless u also plan on turning into a murderous psychopath

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: Im not putting all of my eggs in one basket either, Yeri-ah

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: It could've been the snakes, yes. They were behind the last attacks. But just bc it might not be Seung himself doesnt mean it wasn't one of the rest of them

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: We need allies of our own, anyway. And we might be able to come to an understanding with the Snakes

🌹🎲 Minseok 🌹🎲: you are? you don't seem like it

[jvngminseok]

[jvngminseok]

What will you do if/when your gang finally crumbles?

“You act like it’s inevitable. The Outlaw Bloods won’t crumble. We’re kind of hard to take down, you know? We might be weak right now, but the tides are always changing. You never know, in a few weeks we might be on top and thriving. I won’t let it crumble. It doesn’t matter what I have to do,” he says, letting out a bitter laugh. It was undeniable that they were weak right now. Minseok didn’t know where their leader was, if the torch was going to be passed on to someone again that takes one look at them and deems them a lost cause. The Outlaw Bloods needed order, because right now it was completely chaotic. Things were still going on as normal, he was still distributing and counting cards at the gambling halls- they were earning money, but one of their youngest Bloods had been kidnapped, and then the gambling halls themselves were splattered with blood. Minseok knew their name was the Outlaw Bloods, but he still felt like it was a little uncalled for. A lot uncalled for, really. But he saw it for what it was, a message, a warning. Something foreboding. Which made what was going on within the ranks of their gangs even more concerning. If there was no other option, Minseok would step up to the plate and was prepared to take on more responsibility. He had to protect them, especially their younger members like Hyemi and the twins- even if no one else would. “Don’t the underdogs usually climb their way to the top in the end?”

[jvngminseok]

If you saw Jihoon and he told you he loved you, what would you do?

In an ideal world, Minseok wouldn’t have any regrets- wouldn’t have things that haunted him. But this world wasn’t so kind. Every time someone brought up Jihoon, he felt a bit breathless, a bit guilty. He didn’t know why. Maybe because he had never intended to fuck up things between Jihoon and Chanmi. He hadn’t intended to hurt Hwajung either, but she just showed up on his doorstep after disappearing for months. Right when he was moving on, testing the waters with someone new. And he really liked Jihoon, had always been attracted to him even though he tried to hide it. But Chanmi had been his friend, and he managed to fuck things up spectacularly between the three of them. Minseok felt like the timing for them had never been right, like the universe didn’t want them to be together. Jihoon was self destructive, like the same way Minseok was on his bad days. So he always tried to relate to Jihoon, tried to talk him out of his destructive habits. Like fucking Hwajung, for example. Sometimes Jihoon appeared in his dreams, holding a loaded gun to his head while Minseok desperately tried to talk him down. It was a reoccurring dream, and every time, Jihoon pulled the trigger. Blood splattered on Minseok’s face, his eyes going as wide as saucers. He fell to his knees, beginning to hyperventilate and gasp for air. After that, he always woke up with a heavy feeling in his chest. He couldn’t save him. 

He had never wanted to make Jihoon pick between him and Chanmi, and he definitely hadn't expected Jihoon to choose him. He thought Jihoon saw him as just as fling, even though there was a deeper level to their relationship too. The stars just hadn’t aligned for them. “I’d tell him I’m so fucking sorry.” And then he would tell him that he’s an asshole for abandoning them. For worrying about him and thinking he was dead, along with making Minseok the reason that he left. Maybe Jihoon’s disappearance had been part of the reason their gang was falling from the inside out. But somewhere in his mind, he knew Jihoon would never be coming back. 

[jvngminseok]

Change the color that’s the same every day Today’s homage is chameleon We all have different young souls and lives From the start