jynxid-blog

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i want to reach a Stevie Nicks level of etherealness where people are in awe of my existence and there are rumors that i’m a witch or not even human like that’s where i wanna be in life

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Sometimes a Son’s Greatest Fear is Becoming His Father

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Person with hat: Excuse me, sir (falls over)

Person with trumpet: (Starts playing “Taps”)

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And I'm crying

“do you ever wonder why captain levi seems to avoid sleep?”

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Don’t assume

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Évolution inversée

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I still want them

Here’s what an inclusive Ken doll could look like

Now that Barbie comes in all shapes and sizes and colors and styles, what’s a male doll to do? Well, the clothing company Lyst has come up with a solution. These aren’t real (yet) — but you can buy one element of body-pos Ken right now.

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Found myself at Walmart guys...

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i’ll only make a couple of characters and they’ll all have something important to do with each others plot!

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Bill can fuck off. Be like Ricky.

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Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when theyre bored and step on you when theyre done. Be like drugs, let them die for you.

(via barbiebananaaaaaa)

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My heart broke ooooh my gosh <3

So my little brother didn’t know I was coming home..

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The production team for The Prince of Egypt conferred with roughly 600 religious experts to make the film as accurate as possible.

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Lmao dead

10 Ways to Defrost Your Vampire Boyfriend

1. With a hairdryer. Pros - you get to style his hair at the same time: goodbye helmet hair! Cons - your hair dryer overheats and blows a fuse. That was a GHD!

2. Good old fashioned blankets. Just go ahead and wrap him up like a burrito.

3. Central heating! Crank the thermostat up to 70, electricity bills be damned. Is he supposed to be steaming like that?

4. Nothing warms you up like a little ball of fluff with a loud purr. The one problem is, kittens get weirdly ticked off if you try and stuff them into a sleeping bag with an ice cold dead guy. That one scratch on your knuckle is gonna need some iodine.

5. Pocket warmers. Undead sperm don’t swim anyway, so don’t be shy about warming up the goodies first. He’ll thank you later.

6. Vampires roasting on an open fire. Just kidding. But seriously, what could be more romantic than snuggling up to your man-shaped block of ice in front of a cozy, log fire? Just watch out for sparks or your evening could literally go up in flames.

7. A warm bath. You probably should avoid putting him into really hot water when he’s all iced up because we’re not sure if you’ll end up with a hot-water-on-a-frosty-windshield kinda deal and no one wants chunks of shattered vampsicle in the tub. With a little bit of TLC, lukewarm water and a gradually raised temperature should do the trick. Not for the impatient types among you, but sometimes in life, it helps to stop and smell the roses. Or, in this case, to check out that deep freeze muscle definition. That boy is cut.

8. Skin to skin contact. We waited ’til number eight because we wanted you to think we’re classy. We’re not. It was a lie. Get yourselves naked and abandon the concept of personal space. You’ll probably get freezer burn on your nipples but it’ll totally be worth it.

9. Lick him all over. Goes great with number eight. Downside - your tongue might stick to his abs like that time you licked a stop sign back in 5th grade. But let’s be real - having your tongue stuck to this guy is the opposite of a problem.

10. Friction. You know when your hands are cold and you rub them together to get warm? You should do that. But, like, with your entire bodies.

(blame @ellierose101 for this) 

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