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Also i said ok but it has to be quick and i don't want to spend too much. I asked for a sandwich and then we splitted the bill in half :'Ooo

Also this fucking heat. I'm glad i'm going to feel some atlantic breeze this weekend

I'm in such a bad mood after having lunch with my coworker, i don't vibe with her at all and still i accept her invitations. Ugh, feel like i dishonor myself

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I'm in such a bad mood after having lunch with my coworker, i don't vibe with her at all and still i accept her invitations. Ugh, feel like i dishonor myself

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One of those days at work when the lack of stuff to do feeds anxiety and as the time passes i feel more and more self conscious about being kind of an autist and now i finally left and feel my eyes are the eyes of a scared bambi

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Mmm every weekend i feel bad antecipating the need to be social or make plans when i feel no desire for anything? I end up not being with anyone but my boyfriend and we make some plans but i still feel a bit off? I'm always thinking i should have more energy than i have and be more excited about things, but i'm not... yesterday we went to a festival in the city, i was quickly tired and kind of troubled by that lack of excitement. Also had jealously thoughts about random people while we were there and i think general uneasiness and not accepting myself. I feel a bit bored about life, with people and alone, i just can't get no satisfaction.

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I never want to hangout with anyone.

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San isidro

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Lisbon these days

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Outro fim de semana a mastigar o pão duro em silêncio. Vou fazer café, uma e outra vez, vou fazer café. Escuro, amargo e viciante. Tu fumas à janela, cada um com o seu vício. Cada um a tentar falar consigo mesmo e a tentar encontrar-se já que não servimos de reflexo um do outro. Não nos aclaramos. O café bebe-se amargo, escuro, sem açúcar, sem fundo. E o cigarro performativo a tentar encontrar aquele outro lado desaparecido. Neste momento tu precisas desse cigarro para te lembrares quem és e eu preciso do café para me distrair do facto de ser um pão tão duro que se come em silêncio, que se mastiga como pastilha e que se engole a custo, em seco, sempre cada um no seu lado.

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Hey being a feminist is also realising that in this ineherently masculine world being sensitive, tender, gentle, vulnerable, deep is not something that we should hide or don't see as powerful. Actually the conflict at work resolved itself when there was a bit more of vulnerability from part to part. And it's very brave to not brush things off, to want to put them into light.

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This book sucks haha.

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This is my feminine spring energy playlist to let you know you're sexy af (even if you're a boy)

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You don't have to speak, i feel emotional landscapes

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Ok, today i had an argument with other coworker, this indifference thing is not working. And i question if i'm the problem? Ugh, i really don't want to go back tomorrow. 2 days to go? Noooo. And last week was the same when the weekend finally arrived i was like i have some rethinking to do about this job because this is simply not working for me. Too much toxicity and i'm absorbing it and not loving it!

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My approach to her attacks now is indifference and seeing them as predictable, like "there it is, the ludicrous remark of the day". "Oh, twoo? Lucky me!" And simply not say anything, not react in any way (just stare), protect my energy and well being above all. Until i'm really really fed up and want to take her by surprise as well.

The truth is i don't know how to deal with pettiness and snide remarks towards me. it catches me so off guard i simply don't know how to react. Having a 60ish old woman that could very well be my mother behave this way arbitrarily in a work environment... it gets me perplexed.