kadetjaina

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hear me out

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this is by far my favorite safety/warning sign btw. they really went off with this one

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laurence leaves byrgenwerth, original cutscene restored

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hello čumblr

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Miluju jak nekonfliktní čumblr je. Můžu tady říct i kontroverzní názor jako třeba že je čerstvá a nikdo mi nebude odporovat 😇

[kadetjaina]

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

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Gearing up for mermay

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Nestihla jsem fotit, což je tragédie, protože tahle žena si zaslouží vlastní fandom a fanarty

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"That was all Carlos. He carried you here and he treated you himself, crazy bastard."

here is my guest piece for Remembrance zine!

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audio transcript:

hi there, non emergency line, how can I help you? power outage? have you gone outside to see if the entire block is out? okay well then go outside - it's just you? I have to ask, did you pay your power bill this month? you didn't— oh you're a sovereign citizen? well see therein lies the rub— hey chill out, I- I don't like paying my bills either! and I just need to say, I'm a government employee and you called me so the irony is not lost—

non emergency line how can I help you? there's birds blocking the exit to your apartment? have they attacked you? no? okay good. can you count how many birds there are? yes it actually does matter. if it's eight or less we can send out keith, if it's nine or above we're gonna have to contact animal control. oh it's not arbitrary, it's aviary— I'm kidding, I'm kidding, no! no yeah we'll send out keith — KEITH GET THE NET!

non emergency line how can I help you? got a noise complaint? well it is.......3pm. we can't do anything until 10. okay i guess uh, yeah I guess children's laughter can be grating but—

non emergency line how can I help you? okay I'm going to have to transfer you to poison control for that— no it's a very common issue we have here so don't even worry—

non emergency line how can I help you? okay so yeah you will want poison control for that—

eehhh poison control– poison control– poison contr– buddy I love the way that gasoline smells too but unfortunately we're gonna have to loop in poison control—

non emergency line how can I help you? OH MY GOD SOMEONE'S SHOOTING AT YOU??? oh shouting at you, I was gonna say, you should [laughs]– we have a hold you should've called 911! what are they shouting at you? it does matter, see, the police and I have uh split custody of, of verbal altercations so it really does... okay so they're saying "no you incompetent buffoon, the birds are out--" KEITH IS THIS YOU??

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no writing workshop can help you improve your writing as much as this screenshot can

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Unforgettable day

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If Jesus was in Mean Girls

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The richest duck in the world joins the hunt.