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Which brings us, I think, to the fundamental toxic precondition lurking behind every other toxic precondition: the strong desire we have for some kind of guarantee – before we embark on a new activity, or even just allow ourselves to relax into life – that it’ll all unfold safely and securely, that we’ll retain the feeling of being in control. That’s what you’re surrendering, in a small way, when you go ahead and write a few hundred words of your novel, with no certainty they’ll be any good. Or when you move forward with the day’s projects despite not having carried out your morning routine to the letter. It’s also what you’re surrendering when you decide to cut yourself a bit more slack in life – because who knows what chaos might unfold if you stopped yelling internally at yourself to work harder or do better, if you stopped watching yourself like a hawk for signs of backsliding? In other words: we don’t erect toxic preconditions simply because we’re irrational, self-defeating idiots. We do it because we want to feel secure, and to avoid the risk of experiencing emotions we’re unsure we’d be able to handle. This explains why it can be so powerfully liberating – and action-triggering – to understand that the uncertainty and insecurity you imagine you’re avoiding is in fact how things already are for you. As the great Elizabeth Gilbert puts it: “You are afraid of surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control; all you had was anxiety.” Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realising that you’re already in the unknown.

Oliver Burkeman, Toxic preconditions

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2010-09-22

honestly, i dream of being a stray cow, sitting on top of a green hill with blue swirling skies right under a tree, and a patch of shade.

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Lubumbashi City Hall, DR Congo, 2007

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Tanya Traboulsi, Beirut, Recurring Dream

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perhaps my favourite photo in the world… sleater-kinney on bette and tina’s bed on set of the l word (2006)

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Genesis P-Orridge, Feeding the Fishes, 2010. Fish, glitter, photos, tooth mold, copper ball, found wood box.

from Try to Altar Everything

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eternal ass june ive already reincarnated 10,000 lives this month

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“Crossed Intentions” by Miriam Marlene Waldner

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Think i might be evil on par with draculas and nosferatus

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happy almost birthday!

thank you ! gros bisous !

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or go as the pope. cause it's your bday and its conclave year. i know it's not italy per se but still

oh my god brilliant (!)

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does anybody have any interesting obscure ideas about what i could go dressed as for a party w the theme "italy" — which i think is so silly but i love the hosts, so i will participate w a full heart. also it's the day of my bday and there will be cake so ! i am going to be 25, you guys...

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ZOHRAN MAMDANI MAYOR OF NEW YORK!!!!!

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Where food is shared, happiness is doubled

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https://emergencemagazine.org/essay/navigating-the-mysteries/

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Israel cuts Gaza's final internet line, plunging it into total communication blackout.

Israel bombed the last main fibre route in Gaza, which means that as of June 12, all internet and fixed-line communication services are now completely cut off, further isolating Gaza amidst an ongoing genocide.

I am seeing more and more calls from inside of Gaza for help with eSims as that is currently the only way they can connect internally and with the outside world.

- Buy eSIMs here.

- If you can't afford it, you can donate any amount to this eSIM fund.

- Instructions on how to buy and share eSIMs.