kai-bobbi

[kai-bobbi]

10/12

I present to you, Ooo Ooo Goo Goo Mon. Last night I couldn't sleep. I ended up getting lost in one of those ai art generators. Somewhere I blacked out and a half an hour passed. There's something dangerous about endless possibilities.

At a certain point, I switched to "making" art based off of old inside jokes with an old friend. Ooo Ooo Goo Goo Mom was one of those nonsense words we made to connect with each other and mess with others a bit.

I thought 2am was a good time to text an onslaught of inside jokes and to my not so surprise, he was also still awake. He's always been a fellow midnight oil burner, just like me.

He loved them. After sharing "my" art, I crashed hard and woke up to a text thanking me so sending him down a rabbit hole as well. Oops.

[kai-bobbi]

10/11

Looks like somebody left their lunch behind. Looked around for a bit and at a point considered taking it. It felt serendipitous given I had forgotten my lunch at home. Food shouldn't go to waste, right? I find it odd how even when sealed, found food feels instinctively gross.

I used to be that kid that would finish anyone's anything, except for maybe fish and olives. The palette took a while the that add but olives will forever be gross, sealed or unsealed.

I'm walking by 2 hours later and it's still there. Perhaps I'm not alone and hoping someone returns. I feel sorrow for their financial and nutritional loss. Oddly enough, it's the former loss that gets me. I was raised on not wasting money. We didn't have much. As a space case person ADHD I have a long built history of losing things and feeling bad about it. Look at that! Projection on its finest. For all I know this person doesn't care. Maybe they didn't want their soup decided to leave it for someone else. I guess we'll never know.

[kai-bobbi]

10/10

ADHD is my superpower. But it is also half the reason I often miss what's right in front of me. My brain is supposed to be absorbing facts about typefaces, but instead it's finding oohs and awws in the reflection of my coffee. I'm a sucker for something shiny.

It doesn't stop there. It takes the shiny light and seeks of story. It finds poetry in the products of our environment; making metaphor from "the meaningless." There's no light in my coffee. It is a shiny lie, living in a bitter darkness. The reflection is just projecting. It reaches for a shiny story it can tell itself. It doesn't wish to search within the darkness beneath. It knows its taste I too strong to swallow.

[kai-bobbi]

10/9

I need to cool it on the cans. I brought out my recycling today and I realized that I may or may not have a can problem. Seltzer, and iced teas, beer, soda... It's a lot.

I bought something at Aldi today and specifically bought the cheap stuff with a poorly designed box. Lemon is lemon and lime is lime. The cheap stuff is good enough. I went to the beer store around the corner and bought beer twice as expensive then everything else because it looked fun. I even caught The superficial nature of my purchase the moment I grabbed them from the fridge, and yet purchase pridefully as if I had made intentional selection.

I purchased a pretty can. I purchased the materials, time and energy needed to produced it. I purchased fun. I purchased spontaneity. I purchased something worth talking about to the cashier. I purchased something interesting to show when I got home.

But when the last drop is gone, the empty vessel becomes a responsibility; just one more thing to clean off the coffee table. It goes from treat to trash real fast.

[kai-bobbi]

10/8

Whenever I'm apartment hunting, one of the necessary things for me is a dishwasher. I was spoiled and grew up with one in my house. When I first moved away from home, I thrived on eating take out and using paper plates. So no problem there. Eventually I found roommates with amenities alignments.

I made it over a decade before moving into a one bedroom apartment, with a ting kitchen, with no countertops, no dishwasher and a giant trough monster sink that always clogged. Sometimes when you're in a pinch, you settle.

I'm spoiled again. I haven't really been thinking about it but I'm back to the privileged dishes life. I don't think I've ever looked into how much water a cycle uses. I probably definitely don't want to know. 😬

[kai-bobbi]

10/6

I had to write a letter to myself in the future for my intro to design class. I'll receive it when I graduate. I really hope by the time I received this I've gotten at not being a perfectionist. I love how the assignment is about the letter inside the envelope and I was over here meticulously worrying about drawing serifs for the address 😅

I sometimes obsess over things and don't realize it until later. This is one of those times. I had no idea that used so many. I thought I had maybe five attempts but damn. There were more, but I've been slowly using them for other letters.

Side note: I really enjoyed geeking out and trying out different ways to display and document the envelopes. 🌈 I maaaay have gotten a little lost in that as well. Time is weird.

[kai-bobbi]

10/5

I was locking the door on my way out and clumsy me, I dropped my keys. I saved my bad back and went the bad knees route instead. As I picked up my keys, I looked from a level I rarely look from. My unexpected vantage point led me to discover a discovery I forgot I had already discovered... the newspaper graveyard problem.

I called weeks ago to get us off the list. I expected one or two more, but wow. How did I not see these building up? It's really no biggie. I don't mean to be a Karen; I just hate to see paper and ink go to waste. What's one more phone call to clarify and doublecheck? Heck, I fuck up too. Thoughts and tasks slip my mind all the time so why not make room for human error and the fact that error could've been on my end.

My brain likes to build off of my reality; checking off believable and boring tasks I know I have to do, but just want to. This will often happen while I'm dreaming. It's kind sad but REM is where some of my best productivity comes from. But when the sun comes up, my believed accomplishments shatter back to unchecked tasks in my poorly filled out planner.

Maybe the newspaper graveyard is the product of a brain blip. Or maybe it's just the result of an ending that's still a work in progress. Regardless, I got a call to make. Worst case, I bold a checkmark in a box I already checked and rid myself of worry.

.

[kai-bobbi]

10/4

I'm a grab and go kind of gal, especially when it comes to breakfast. It's either a banana, a Pop-Tart or a trusty blueberry muffin I got at Aldi.

All three are not ideal for car travel. I never know what to do with the peel or muffin wrapper afterwards. The crumbs become too much to deal with so it all goes on the floor for waaaay to long.

This puts me in an hour into my day, with nothing but a gut full of medication and coffee. I will often scarf them down on my walk from my parking spot to class, but sometimes I space out and the meal must move to lunch.

I have hunch that this has a little bit to do with my ADHD and some from me being raised one block from school. This is where go-to food sprints became the norm; where juuuust making it was just as fine as being on time. I learn real meals were dinner, second dinner and a surplus of snacks at midnight. That's it. No good ending here; just a post about poor eating habits. 🌈

Oh, I should probably actually eat this muffin. Got to go!✌️

[kai-bobbi]

10/3

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to wait for these episodes to export. Editing is a tedious and lengthy process sometimes. These slow moving progress bars can really break me. I love my podcast but boy does it take a lot of work.

We had skip posting an episode this week last week. It's the first week we've skipped in 2 years. Maybe if I wasn't so picky with my editing, I could have made it happen, but I just really didn't have it in me. I'm lucky that my co-host is also my bestie. He cares more about me caring for myself than content we create.

I'm starting to see that I might have set myself an unhelpful high standard. Many podcasts take breaks, sometimes for months at a time. It's fine. It's fine. At least that's what I tell myself. 😅🙃

[kai-bobbi]

10/3

Hydrating apparently is something my brain likes to classify as overrated. I grew up in a big soda family. Neither one of my parents likes to drink water. There was a time there where we all got hooked on fruit2o for a second but that's about it. I think that lasted about 6 months and then back to Diet Pepsi.

You can only joke about how alcohol and soda also has water in it for so long before it's not funny. It's ultimately, not caring about yourself isn't all that humorous.

Habits are harder to change the longer they've been in place. But, I've started carrying a water bottle with me over the past year. Seems to be helping, at least little bit. I suppose some water is better than no water.

[kai-bobbi]

10/2

I forgot to post again. As much as my brain wants to attribute it to my dear friend substance abuse, I really just spaced it in general. I got a lot going on and it's hard to be a human sometimes.

I tried quitting again, right before school started. I almost had about a month under my belt this time. But things got rough. When things get rough, I grab my go-tos.

I first tried it when I was in college (the first time). Up until then, I was such a "good kid. But something about moving away on my own, to New York City of all place, lended itself to leaning into spontaneity. That was a very interesting time in my life. 😅

Now it's just something that I do, that I wish I didn't do. I know it doesn't serve me. Unfortunately for me, addiction doesn't really care.

Sooooo anyways... don't do drugs and remember to do your homework.

[kai-bobbi]

9/30

Insomnia is probably one of my least favorite things. It feels like wasted hours sometimes. I could have been doing work. I could have been making money. I could have spent time having fun. But instead I'm staring at a ceiling with one glow in the dark star because someone who lives here beforehand only wanted one I guess?

I don't know why this time compliments thinking about everything and everyone. It's supposed to compliment the inside of my eyelids. I'm sick of this. It's one of those things that you put off seeing a specialist about for some reason. I'll get to it. 😬

But I suppose while I'm up, I might as well get a midnight sip of orange juice and a single a slice of cheese.

[kai-bobbi]

9/29

1) What are the implications of Scarry's statement for Designers?

2) How might Scarry's observations relate to your own design practice?

Man creates chair. Chair modifies skeleton. Skeleton must resign chair to accommodate the subsequent impact of skeletal changes from the chair's design. Not only has the chair gone from being a solution to being a new problem, it has created a completely new problem to be solved. Not onlg can a chair's design create cause for a needed redesign, it has also can cause the need of newly design/invented items to accommodate, compensate and/or solve the needs of the new skeletal changes. Design has the power to solve problems, but it also has the power to make more.

The chairs design can create devision. Not all skeletons may have access to certain chairs or chairs at all. Skeletons will evolve/change differently and subsequently have a broader range of designed solutions. Certain skeleton's needs may be prioritized in the redesigns through time and same may not. Ultimately, we are more intertwined with the world we have design than we think about.

2. Most of my design over the last decade has mostly been related to bringing creativity and joy to people. My design has made emotional and in come cases professional changes for people. This impact has a ripple effect. It can create connections. Whether its an inside joke for partners on an embroidery hoop or creating a brand that help build a performers confidence and create opportunities to bring experience and connections they otherwise may have not hav. My design will never mean nothing.

[kai-bobbi]

9/28

I lived with my last roommate off and on for 5 years. He's a software engineer. I avoided letting him bring me to the dark side for so long. But here I am, years later writing html and css in my web design class. It's interesting, but definitely not my jam.

I'm not exactly always great with order. My rhymes often don't have reasons. I appreciate the challenge but it's a lot for my brain. I know it will make more sense in time but I would rather just be good at it now.

I think I'm getting it through. It's all about repetition. I do like that there is a bit of room to play and write it your own way in some places. My old roommate used to go off on why certain ways were right and others were wrong and I'd pretend I had a clue what he was saying. I am still far from understanding. In time I'm sure I'll find my own hot takes.

[kai-bobbi]

9/27

I often don't realize how much I'm idling. When I get into the car, I turn it on and then get distracted by my phone with its many notifications. Eventually I snap out of it and realize I've just been blowing through gas and producing avoidable emissions. I often do the same thing when I park. Before entering my destination, I want to keep the on music or the air conditioning (yes I still use AC in the fall) to accompany my phone scrolling. Comfortability is important.

I bought this car in 2017 with 35,000 miles on it. Please don't let your friends become Lyft drivers. They will regret it. And although my transmission specialist of a father would tell you that Toyota's last forever, I'm still worried about the impact of my risky business. The money was poor and the car maintenance was expensive. I can't even imagine with the current gas prices. But I needed work, knew how to talk and was at least semi decent at driving.

All the gas. All the emissions. All the blasted music and AC. All the idling while waiting for rides, just scrolling and scrolling through mindless content on my phone. I once ignored a ride because I was too invested in a cat video on YouTube.

I've been sitting in my car for half an hour now since class, switching back between writing this and following the notifications that shows themselves to be worthy distractions. This time I went with windows down and music straight from my phone. It may not be as comfortable as my standard but it's surly less wasteful.

[kai-bobbi]

9/27 1) What did you buy for your Splurchase? 2) Briefly list some of the general conditions that that you remember from your Splurchase (these can be anything: your mood, the weather, the layout of the store, the music that was playing in the store, stuff you heard on the news, etc...) 3) Look at your item and list some of the Graphic and/or Design Qualities that stand out to you. 4) List some of the cultural meanings/associations related to the item and/or its design (these can be either personal or more broadly social). 5) How did any of the factors from any of the previous 3 questions impact your decisions to buy, if at all?

After almost buying something that felt less authentic to the purpose of the assignment I let my mind find when popped out to it on its own while I kept shopping. I turned a corner and right on the eye level on the corner of the shelf was individual cans of sweetened earl grey tea with the word Tea in a scripted bold font shouting at me. 2. I was in a rough mood. Depression hit and I was shopping out of need between classes, because I can't afford to keep buying take out. Aldi is always super bright. The music was annoyingly low and it was kinda more chilly in there than usual. Although I suppose fall and was kinda chilly outside, and the door does open quite a bit. I didn't go with the intent to do the assignment so I thought sneaking it in then wouldn't be problem. Surprise surprise, I need more time than I thought per usual. I should allotted time for overthinking. It's amazing how fast my brain still goes when it's in a state of depression. 3. Its colors are subtle. It's not super flashy. It really lets the text do the work of pulling you in. Under the big bolded word Tea is nice clean thin sans serif that says SWEETENED EARL GREY TEA. It's hanging back to let the pretty Tea shine. It's all about that text hierarchy. Under that was my favorite surprise. The box the cans were in just cut off the words BLOOD ORANGE in a dark orange bold sans serif font. I LOVE BLOOD ORANGE. Under that is the words naturally flavored all in lower case, still giving attention to Blood Orange the secondary focus (h2 if you will). Under that, we are back at it with yet another sans serif, yet this time No Sugar Zero Calories is all written with each work capitalized. Interesting how they are really switching up. All of this text is justified left aligning to the left of Tea. To the right and smidge lower is slice of blood orange resting on a leaf. Beautiful! On the top is the Zavia logo with two leaved sprouting out of the top of the I. It appears like the Z is slightly capitalized. The rest of the word is in lowercase and almost meets the height of the Z. Underneath in green caps is the word O R G A N I C, with double the kerning then anywhere else, stretching to fit under the logo as nicely. I never buy organic. I often think I can't afford. At the bottom is a couple emblems indicated this tea is organic, Non GMO and fair trade certified. indicated the volume of the beverage (12 FL OZ 9355 ml) in yet in sans serif. I believe these are all variations of the same one. The top of the can was black. Not all of them were. I wanted one in black or some reason. All of this design is duplicated slightly to the side as to wrap around and better promote itself. There is your standard box of nutritional facts, ingredients and a few tiny icons underneath, but all written in the same green that's in O R G A N I C . 4. Sadly my associations aren't culturally connected. I have with tea is really my last two ex partners. They looooved tea. I'm cool with the memories from my last ex but the tea connected memories with the previous ex are not so sweet. Although my last roommate and bestie Nate, would actually drink tea almost every day but just didn't make a big deal of on the daily. He would dork out about his selections which was cute and I'd play along and support his enthusiasm. I always hated tea growing up. It's one of those sophisticated drinks I found in my adulthood. Now I buy it in jugs. 5. The biggest things that got my gut motor running was the pretty Tea font, and the surprise that it were Blood Orange. Yum! The item just hit me authentically in a really refreshing way. My mind is tricky so to get it to see genuinely was as unexpected as it's flavor. Oddly, I didn't see the that it was on the HURRY discounted items shelves until after I saw it as a splurchase. It didn't take the wind out of my sails. I bought something special for just me!

[kai-bobbi]

9/26 (at least it was when I started writing it this 😅)

RESEARCH PROJECT 3: The $2.00 Shopping Spree!

Living off campus always gives me the temptation to go home between classes. "20 minutes there; 20 minutes back; bada bing bada boom." Today, I thought a quick stop at Aldi couldn't hurt to add. It was about 1:30pm when I got there. I was surprised by the amount of people there for the middle of a Monday. This Aldi has a vibe. The lights are always suuuuper bright. Someone needs to turn up the volume on the music though. It's way too low. It's just high enough to almost decipher which song is playing. I just exited a hypomanic episode and on the other end is often drop where I'm easy irritated. My mind felt burnt and I was feeling low, so I just wanted to get out of there. as quickly as I could. Today was a bit more colder inside there than normal. I regretted leaving my jacket in my car. Even thought outside was a bit chilly, the sun was out. I falsely believed no coat was the way to go. Fooled again! This Aldi kind of smells like if Nothing were a scented candle. I think I saw an article (probably a TikTok video about how they intentionally try and keep the scent of a grocery store low. Hmmm.

A few items in, I remembered that I still needed to buy something for my splurchase item project. I tried to go about my shopping as usual. Fun thing about my brain is that when you tell it not to think about something, it is gonna think about that thing. So between grabbing my go-to items, my mind kept trying to find sometime that fit the assignment. I found these two colorful chocolate bars that together would cost about two bucks. It was the color of the packaging that caught my attention. The design was meh, but I couldn't find anything else. I put them in the box I snagged from the giant wire crate of boxes. For some reason, I always feel like I'm stealing something when I take one. As if, the employee cares I didn't bring or buy a bag. I took some photos of the chocolate bars and how they were existing in the aisle. I thought that I had found my splurchase. I was wrong. I kept on moving down the aisles and only one away, I came across this box of individual cans of tea, Honestly, it was the font choice of Tea that pulled me in; super fun. It was displayed almost perfectly as a repetitive. I love patterns. They make my brain happy. It also helped that it was at my eye-level. I saw the words organic and realized I had naturally found what I was not looking for. I always associate organic with expensive and almost always go another route. I often don't even glance at the prices. I just assume I can't afford it.

But this is my splurchase! And although I always bulk buy and get my tea in big jugs with a handle, I said screw it and I grabbed one. I pulled up a tea from the box that was cropping off the half of the can that sold me on this item perfect… it's blood orange! OMG! I loooove blood orange! It's sooooo good!

I started taking photos. I noticed that it was in a section that said HURRY and THESE DEALS GO FAST in the signage at the bottom! I love how I associate organic with expensive and yet this tea is in the leftover discount section; calling out to me as something special. I noticed the top was a little dusty. Clearly these had been here for a spicy second (<--- this is my made up alternative to hot minute. It'll catch on. I can feel it). But a little dust didn't bother me. That's what waters for.

After I checked out I realized but after my photoshoot, I forgot to actually take and buy the tea. I ran back full armed with a box of La Croix in one hand and a box of groceries in the other. I came back to the checkout line again to see only one lane open. The amount of items the stranger in front of me was loading on the belt seemed like it was was endless. I checked my watch and realized that I was running out of time to get home in time to make lunch, eat and get back on time for my last class.

I asked if I could cut ahead. I got the kindest "Of course!' The kindness ended my roller coaster of a shopping trip on a happy note. I check out and off to to home I went. I thought I'd have it along with lunch. I got lost in a conversation with an ex I'd rather call a roommate. I slapped together lunch real fast and took it on the go. I housed my sandwich on the drive back but spaced and forgot to grab my tea in to enjoy in class.

I ended up being happy that I did, 'cause when I got home I thought it would be a delightful porch hang beverage to end the way with. I made sure to bring my coat. I took some artsy photos. I hopped on my porch swing and stationed up with my things on the side table. I cracked it open and took a big sip.

For now, I'll keep my review a secret.