kaiminjae

[kaiminjae]

@clementinesterling

[kaiminjae]

Love is delicate. Love is soft. 
Love is hard. It’s brutal and searing and crushing . 
I loved you the way fire consumes the earth. I couldn’t stop. Feed me oxygen and dirt, feed me kisses and skin and I’d light up entire valleys with my intensity. 
You’re in my blood. You’re in my lungs. My skin clings to the air you leave behind. Your laughter vibrates my bones. 
I loved you the way fire consumes the earth. Because afterwards, when the fire is out and the sky gets dark again, all that’s left is charred woods and burned ash where green used to illuminate the ground. It’s all black now. 
We never had a chance.

Gabriela (via

styledmeburgundy

)

@maikwons

[kaiminjae]

I hate people who can go to sleep as soon as they shut their eyes, like that shit takes me 3 hours, 700 position changes, and a sacrifice to the gods

[kaiminjae]

les.

when lester entered the room with a teddy bear in tow, he did not expect to hear sobbing; especially from min jae. he looked vulnerable in the hospital bed and les felt his heart sink deep at the sight of one of the strongest people he’s seen crying, finally letting it all out. 

next thing you know, I’m holding a fucking teddy bear around, min jae said through sobs and les just looked at the teddy bear he was holding, slowly putting the thing on the sofa behind him. lester approached him and wrapped his arms around the smaller’s figure in a warm hug. 

Fortunately, he doesn’t notice the stuffed toy as another ONSLAUGHT of tears escaped his already bloodshot eyes, and he wishes, no, he yearns that he could just scratch them out. If I can’t see her, it’s better to not see anything at all.  Fuck, I’m even thinking all CHEESY now.  Dis-fucking-gus-ting.

Though the lightest of pressures set Min Jae’s bones on fire, he welcomes Lester’s tight hug with his one functional arm.  And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, but he buries his head in the crook of the other’s neck, because, as much as he hates to admit it, he knows he needs it.

[kaiminjae]

clem.

Clem knew from the start that her infatuation with Alex was never going to end well. All things considered, him leaving her is probably the best possible outcome ;; if he hadn’t left, Cas would have found out eventually and she knows that would have ended in blood. But she’s never been very good at being SELFLESS and the fact that he’s gone – her first real love that wasn’t a twisted mess of loneliness and possessiveness – stings like a cut dragged through salt. Without him at Plath, she doesn’t have anyone to turn to, no one she hasn’t victimized or driven away, so she seeks out the next best thing.

“ I don’t have a teddy bear, but I do have a, uh, water bottle, if you need a drink. It’s like…half full, probably, ” she says as she moves to sit down beside his bed, holding out the peace offering. “ What’s got you fucked up? ”

"The honest answer?  My whole body HURTS, and these damn nurses won’t fucking give me pain killers.” He sits up straighter, reaching for the bottle and pointing its mouth towards Clem with a nod as a silent thanks.  He inhales deeply, then takes a swig.  Whiskey flowed down his throat like an ACIDIC waterfall, and the sting sends another set of tears down his face; not because of the pain, but because it was a good kind of pain---the sting is almost one of relief, like peeling off bandage when a wound’s almost healed.  He wishes everything else that he feels could be more like that, but the wound left by Mai Kwon can never heal.  It’s a permanent GASH in his soul, an eternal TRAUMA inscribed in his memory.  “The painfully honest answer though,” he continues, and he cannot help the SOB that rises in his throat, not even when he lifts the bottle to his lips. “Is that I may have just lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

[kaiminjae]

leo.

Jolting awake at the sound of another person’s voice, Leo made a small noise of shock as he was forced awake, groaning slightly as he rubbed his eyes. “Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep… obviously.” 

"Yeah, no, it’s okay,” he says, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but Leo.  One can tell that he was in complete DENIAL, which is an exact symptom of going through grief. “It’s not like I’m offering anything FUN anyway.  You can leave if you want.  I mean, I’m fine, whatever.”

[kaiminjae]

[kaiminjae]

@jonahbjames

#ProudDad

[kaiminjae]

@kaboomholt

[kaiminjae]

Min Jae should’ve known it wouldn’t have taken that long for it to happen; he knew that fate was just stalling for his sake, and that he should’ve taken advantage of the whole delay, instead of simply having his hopes up that things will get better without actually doing something.  But now that it happened (that is, Mai’s inevitable DEPARTURE), all he can do is cry and sink into his pillow like some heartbroken teenage girl, which, in retrospect, he practically is.   He is reaching over to the box of tissues situated on the bedside table when he notices someone watching him, red eyes and tears and snot and all.  But instead of being sardonic and SALTY about it, he allows a watery chuckle.   “I know, I know.  I look fucking STUPID.”

“Next thing you know, I’m holding a fucking teddy bear around.”

[kaiminjae]

@clementinesterling

[kaiminjae]

♦️ - lester

“DICK…?”

Min Jae is torn between laughing and keeping a straight face as he points at the therapist. “Ya!  Don’t give me that look.  You said one word, and one word only, so don’t you fucking GLARE at me because you don’t like my answer.” He releases a breath, hands slapping over the arms of the chair. “Okay.  Anyway.  It’s not my fault I thought of ‘dick’, okay?  But it’s not like dick dick, more like, dick as in, my dick.  Penis. Wang. Nuts. Family jewels. Eumgyeong. Gochu.  Whatchamacallit.  Because, y’know.  Let’s be real.  Guy’s HOT.”  If he is any closer to the therapist, he would’ve nudged him in the ribs.  For now, he settles for a suggestive wiggling of his eyebrows. “I know you think so, too.  C’mon, no need to hide it.  I know you do.  I know you doooo.”

Send me a “♦” for the first word my muse thinks of when your muse is mentioned.

[kaiminjae]

(◔_◔)

[kaiminjae]

@jonahbjames

[kaiminjae]

@kaboomholt

*eats you out as a friend*

Blows your back out as your homie

[kaiminjae]

♦ (clem)

“Entertaining, hot, MISERABLE, problematic, rich as fuck...”

“Weird thing.  When you said her name, literally a million words went through my head, wow.” He tries to keep a straight face, but the therapist’s ‘cooperate or I will end you’ expression sends him doubling over in laughter. “Okay, okay.  No need to MURDER me, m’ just messing with you.  I’m going with miserable, okay?  That’s one.  Word.  Now calm down.” He clears his throat, expression suddenly far from his previous one, one that clears any sign that he only thinks of the whole exercise as a game. “Mmm… I don’t think I have anything to say about her, really.  Just that, it’s odd that despite everything she probably has—I mean, have you seen her??  She’s stinking rich, man—she’s a little too… LONELY?  I guess?  Even stranger thing is… I barely know her, really, and yet… we’re almost… the same.  I mean, sure she’s literally the grim reaper’s bride what with her daily gothic lolita get-up, and I’m the best guy ever, but that doesn’t mean my problems aren’t any better than hers.  Y’know, just because hers are more obvious.”  His eyes move to the floor, and there is a silence that sits between him and the therapist.  When he looks up, the INDIFFERENT glint is back in his eyes, and the therapist sighs in recognition. “But whatever, it’s not like I give a shit.”

@clementinesterling

 Send me a “♦” for the first word my muse thinks of when your muse is mentioned.

[kaiminjae]

mother teresa.

Corey had to admit, that little bit was hilarious. “Your painful groan says otherwise,” he said, lightening up a bit. “Well, you don’t know that,” Corey replied, mocking imitating Min Jae’s tone earlier, followed by a light chuckled. “Au contraire, little Min Jae; I do care. I wouldn’t be here if i didn’t”

“Shut up,” he mutters, looking down when the man mocks him back. “Don’t call me ‘little’, I’m not your fucking nephew.  So, what’s this??  I don’t even know you.  D’you come by to tease me and shit?  Because, sorry to disappoint, but been there, done that.”