kalibrate
kalibrate
Part-time soul mate full time problem
190K posts
Kal, 28, she/they. I post whatever, you have been warned. Header by @lythuin
Last active 60 minutes ago
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kalibrate · 31 minutes ago
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do we fw mid-30s trans ladies on here
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kalibrate · 31 minutes ago
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kalibrate · 32 minutes ago
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The simple eroticism of the tummy will win out over everything else every time
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kalibrate · 1 hour ago
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did u guys hear abt that intern fired from that law firm bc she bit like 10 people. im kinda obsessed with her god i wish there was footage
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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ocean.com/fish
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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I love what we've done with the word "ratatouille." It's kinda like how we fucked up the popular understanding of the word inception, except we borrowed a word from a language we usually copy 1:1 and assigned it a wildly unrelated meaning. Hell with the tomatoes. Steer that man by his hair.
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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important life update: my dog came out of the woods with half of an artisanal baguette
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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herpetological guide
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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a kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you're best friends
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kalibrate · 3 hours ago
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for a short period of time my daughter hated jerma and would complain whenever she walked into the room to find him on the tv, but now she is five and a half years old and she loves him, "because he says 'what the fuck'".
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kalibrate · 6 hours ago
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Do you not see why people believe astrology tho??
so i'm a custodian.
whenever someone does something cool like shit on the bathroom floor or get blood all over a toilet, i have to close the bathroom down by blocking the doorway with a CLOSED sign.
this sign is big and bright. it says CLOSED in four languages and has a do not enter symbol. it completely blocks the doorway. the only way to enter is to look directly at the sign and either move it or climb over it.
almost every single time i shut down a bathroom so i can suit up and clean a biohazard, someone will enter the bathroom with a dead-eyed, slack-jawed expression and try to wordlessly walk past me to use a stall.
and every single time, i have to block their path and say, "this bathroom is closed. there is one directly down the hall, marked by signs. please leave," and they either try to argue that THEY specifically should be allowed to use this one, as if they are god's most special little guy, or express shock even though they, again, had to contend with the CLOSED sign to enter.
often, i am standing there in the middle of cleaning up bodily fluids having to firmly repeat myself. they always leave angry or confused.
anyways, you clicked this button to send me an ask about astrology:
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kalibrate · 6 hours ago
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so true
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kalibrate · 8 hours ago
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Fall's victor
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kalibrate · 10 hours ago
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