kangbi - Tumblr blog

[kangbi]

ok. i just got the news that i was accepted into my top school.... but for their master's program and not their PhD (which was what i originally wanted). now i have to make a fucking decision nnhhgkkhlgl

i got rejected from all the grad programs i applied to.

[kangbi]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

[kangbi]

i got rejected from all the grad programs i applied to.

[kangbi]

Remaking this post cause the other one got mad cluttered but i still need help with getting to work for the week till i get paid for both jobs

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[kangbi]

2015-11-19

[kangbi]

ねるです

I'm going to sleep ...

なんか来たですよ

Something comes

なんです？

What's the matter?

行ったです

He goes...

じゃ、ねるです

Then, I'm going to sleep

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

Stone Cairns / Stone Balancing / Stone Stacking “Thor’s Gate” Style Cairn, complete with spiral drawn in clay

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

i'm in the french quarter of new orleans for a few days. if anyone has any food recommendations of what i should try while i'm here in the south let me know :)

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

[kangbi]

"this house will remain palestinian"

[kangbi]

rainybarcelona