kanyeismyenemy - Tumblr blog

[kanyeismyenemy]

Within a few hours

[kanyeismyenemy]

I thought I felt a shift in the universe and I had to google ‘jimmy Carter’

[kanyeismyenemy]

[extremely smug voice] you haven't learned to appreciate the beauty inherent in all things?

[kanyeismyenemy]

My American friend group chat is going insane for the No Frills one dollar baguette

[kanyeismyenemy]

25 years of ads peeled away

[kanyeismyenemy]

attempting to summon the dead with jay-z i call that a séance with beyoncè's fiancé

[kanyeismyenemy]

I have lo-jacked my own car

[kanyeismyenemy]

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

[kanyeismyenemy]

No more questions please. The elephant's foot is making me lightheaded again

[kanyeismyenemy]

I love working for a cell company I can ABUSE the extra SIM cards that are laying around

[kanyeismyenemy]

He just squished my boob and my dick twitched :/

[kanyeismyenemy]

Today I explained why I can't really travel to Florida right now to my dad & watching him get increasingly frustrated with the realization that Transphobia Exists was honestly something else.

him: "well if you're not allowed to use the men's bathroom, just go to the women's! that'll show them."

me: "yeah but I'm just as likely to have the cops called on me for 'using the wrong bathroom' in there. have you seen me lately?"

him: "but if one of the options is wrong and not allowed then the other one has to be the right option. what do they want you to do?"

my grandma, helpfully: "I think they want trans people to not go to Florida"

my dad: spluttering frustratedly

me: "I think the thing is that you are more logical and reasonable than Ron DeSantis."

the face of a semi-reformed(?) conservative when realizing with dawning horror that laws can be unfair on purpose is truly special tbh

[kanyeismyenemy]

WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THE HORNY HOME DEPOT SONG IS AN ARCTIC MONKEYS SONG??

[kanyeismyenemy]

Canada Day

[kanyeismyenemy]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[kanyeismyenemy]

Tesla with a British Columbia licence plate? Oh I’m sure