when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes
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WHO is gonna come suck me. This is an open invitation
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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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getting surgery to give me a second head so i can tell twice as many lies as usual
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When he’s a 19 year old fascist and you’re a 24 year old democratically elected politician but he has a tiny braid so you’re helpless to his charming pear floating powers
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i need to fold him in ways not even ikea could come up with
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Doctor prescribed me 100mg of true love’s kiss
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crossfaded on a pastry + a little drinky drink
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"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on
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for my next trick I will sabotage the group sports game simply because I am having a bad time
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Girl you need to get out of bed faster than this
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and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
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just found out i've been abandoned by god which means he's not watching anything i do anymore. you should come over.
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