karlachian

[karlachian]

gay people are crazy they'll try and kill you with rocks

[karlachian]

coughing up blood. has anyone heard about wyllstarion

[karlachian]

you write shitty fanfiction for fun and to play dolls but you also haven't read anything that isn't extremely "pretentious" and/or abstract since you were sixteen so every time you come to after you deal with a scene or whatever you have to play a fun game of "does this make sense outside of the specific neuroses i've got going on" and so often. frighteningly often. the answer is no.

[karlachian]

The Blade of Frontiers (with a sturgeon spiky tail)

[karlachian]

and if i started posting about my ocs on here would i be killed dead

[karlachian]

sorry for losing my unaffected swagger this is unironically one of the sweetest things astarion could ever say. to me.

[karlachian]

4 WYLLS! ON THE NEW BG3 TRADING CARDS

[karlachian]

STEWY: ken! i'm glad you're alive, but i'm sure you'll understand if i don't shake your hand.

KENDALL: oh—the anchor. it's, uh, not contagious, don't worry.

STEWY: 'the anchor.' ooh, scary. to me it looks a lot like you've got a smaller version of the breach tearing apart your hand, but the maker works in mysterious ways. is that how you talk to andraste? can you stick your ear through into the fade?

KENDALL: look, stewy. i need you. i've sent word to my family, but you know my dad. he's not going to throw me a bone until i've, you know, killed the hart myself. i'm going to close the breach, but the inquisition needs friends, supplies, an army. you can help me get all three.

STEWY: right. and why should i do that?

KENDALL: uh, to help save the world?

STEWY: of course. it's just when you're talking to an orlesian marquis who had all his cousins assassinated to get the title, they do love the idea of the world getting saved. everybody does. they just want someone else to do it in a way that doesn't endanger any of their precious gold.

KENDALL: right. but you can convince them to pitch in a little. i don't need a lot from any one person. i need a little from everybody. we're all fucked if the breach doesn't get closed.

STEWY: and you can close the breach?

KENDALL: if you help me, yes.

STEWY: if i'm going to start calling in favors to get you an army, ken, i need to know there's a plan.

KENDALL: it's—i have—i'm working on it. i have what i need to make a plan. my advisors are the best in the fucking business, the templars—

STEWY: the drugged-up choir boys? what are they going to do, wave their swords and chant at the hole in the sky?

[karlachian]

astarion origin is funny as hell. you want me to believe that him being him has ever been ADVANTAGEOUS to any situation? liars and cheats abound in this world and they're all working at larian studios.

[karlachian]

i w ant to write about wyllstarion but i got this stupid fucking statistics and computer science degree

[karlachian]

i guess my questions basically all boil down to why did he say any of that

[karlachian]

Love love love characters that present themselves as emotionally open social butterflies but the more you see of them the more obvious it is that they’re the most closed off fuckers in the story. Sure, they want to help you with your personal problems and messy emotions, but if you turn that shit back on them, they’ll shut down or deflect every time. Why are you sticking your nose in their business anyway? It’s not like it matters. They’re not a person, they’re just a role being played. They’re the guy who fixes things and saves people. Please ignore the man behind the mask, he’s fine. Everything’s fine.

[karlachian]

and the question you must ask yourself forever of course. is. why did he fucking say that (poor wyll… gave you the benefit of the doubt and it earned him a set of hornssssss… not that they don't look flattering on him... [dreamy sigh] almost everything does.......... [karlach voice: they do look pretty good, don't they] they DOOOOO... honestly. that man......)

[karlachian]

the weight of expectations

my contribution for @bg3womenswrongs zine

[karlachian]

put daniil dankovsky pathologic and astarion lastname baldur’s gate 3 in the same room and see who folds (kills themselves) first

[karlachian]

The way you write wyllstarion and write about wyllstarion makes me Crazy. It's already fantastic writing and then you go and add all their Character in there? Sublime work

thank you this is such a kind compliment... it's been so bad for me since july they won't leave me and my word docs alone. i'm hoping i can get done with what i'm working on soon enough to have it actually see the light of day lmfao

[karlachian]

Quick portraits of two of my favorite dudes