karma-yandere-thoughts

[karma-yandere-thoughts]

The Pianist & His Rose

Warnings: yandere,Obsession Word Count: 740 Not beta read, English isn't my first language, MDNI

The sunset’s warm light shining into the piano room. the light hitting the marble floor. Sullivan sat by the piano, back straight and eyes blank. His fingers playing each key with precision. Each note flawless and full of emotion. Emotions he kept well hidden from most people. the only time you could see it, or more like hear it, was when Sulivan played the piano.

I sat on the armchair near the fireplace. I never cared much for piano music, but he made it sound so good, beautiful even, yet, there was something sad, something intence. I silently watched him play. I never really saw him like this when he wasn’t playing the piano.

He didn’t look at me, not even once. He never did when he played. He was fully focused on playing.

It felt like the time had stopped and the fire beside me crackled, but even it seemed to hush, just to listen to him play. His hands moved effortlessly, like the piano had been made for him, or maybe he had been made for it.

I didn’t understand him, not completely at least. None of us really did. He rarely talked, and smile was even rarer. But in these moments, the sound of him playing, the notes did the talking for him. Each note after anohter, telling a story.

The melody echoing against the walls, filling the room with a softness but also sadness. some might say it was haunting. The song was like a whisper of some distant memory, Sullivan’s memory. I could feel the pain and grief thought the notes. It was something he would refuse to speak about if i asked.

I shifted slightly in the chair. For once he wasn’t cold or distant, like i had to become expecting. He was something else. he had let down his walls for once, even if he had his cold expression on, i knew the walls were down.

The last note faded into the air, and he finally looked at me. his eyes still cold and distant, but i swear i could see a tear in the corner of his right eye.

“…do you want to play?” he asked. i had never played a piano, but i guess i could try. i didn’t know how, i couldn’t even read sheet music.

“um, sure. i never played before, but i could try” i said and stood up from the chair.

he chuckled and smiled slightly. the earlier sadness and coldness disapearing into the nothingness.

“i’ll teach you”

i was bit suprised but i nodded. i walked over to him and stood beside him, unsure where i should sit. Then he pulled me towards him by the waist. i was sitting on his lap. He took my hand and placed it over a 3 keys.

He hummed approvingly, “C-major” he said quietly. i played the notes few times before Sullivan guided my hand to anohter set of keys. this repeated few times. He watched closely and i tried to remember which keys were what. His usual stoicness was replaced with a more softer look.

“…Try playing a small melody.” it took a few tries but i finally did it, clumsily, but i still managed to play something.

“not bad,” he murmured, i could hear a faint smile on Sullivan’s lips as he spoke.

At this moment, this mansion didn’t feel like a prison, but more like a place i could actually spend time in. maybe…just maybe. i knew this was probably just the stockholm syndromw starting to kick in and i needed to ignore it. but, at this moment, i liked being here.

The last ray of the sunset setteling down into the horizon as i played the notes. each note little more certain than the last. Sullivan’s hands sitting on either side on my waist, eye watching my hands move. The distance between the two of us felt smaller than before, whether that was our physical distance or the atmosphere in the room, or both.

The shadows creeping up as the light outside became more and more dim. soon the only light in the room would be from the fireplace.

Soon, i stopped playing. i felt him brush my hair back from the front with his fingers. “you did great my little rose.” he whispered, and kissed the temple of my head.

[karma-yandere-thoughts]

I love her, so i hold on

Warnings: yandere, extreme Obsession Word Count: 699 Not beta read, English isn't my first language, MDNI Wrote this while sleep deprived

i love her. i love her too much. i don’t want her to leave. don’t let her leave. no matter what. never let her leave. i will keep her locked in her room if needed. i’d do anything for her, but i will never let her leave.

Because…without her, the world feels empty. each breath i take feels heavier as she’s away from me. each moment stretching endlessly. I know this is wrong but…thea fear of loving her…it’s like knife being twisted into my chest.

if she walks out of that door, will she come back? or will she disappear from my life for ever? i wish i didn’t love her. this love is too painful to withstand. i tell myself this is what love is like, but… is love supposed to feel like this? like i can’t escape it, like a cage? Maybe…just maybe, i’m not scared of losing her…but what i become if i do lose her. I cling to the hope that if i hold tight enough and never let go, she’ll stay with me…even a little longer.

I know the others have a plan to get her to stay with us forever. but what if they treat her like a toy, something to play with and throw her away when they’re done? no…nonononono, no! they wouldn’t do that…right? and…what if she does leave? i might just…die… she’s my Muse, my everything, my inspiration, my reason to live.

She can’t leave. she can’t!

the thought of a world without her, without her smile, her voice that echos in my head on a loop constantly, the only thing that pulls my mind together but also pulling appart the threats that hold it together.

I am trapped between love and desperation, hope and fear. i try to convince myself that she’s the only way i’ll survive. but…deep down, that quiet voice, that voice that rarely gets heard now days, telling me that love isn’t about holding on so tight it breaks us both. maybe love is to let go. but how would i let go of the entire world?

The harder i try to hold on, the more suffocated i feel. but, this is what love does, right? how else do i explain all of these feelings?

The line between love and obsession and thin, and i don’t even know which side i’m on. i can’t tell if i’m saving her or trapping her. in my mind…i’m helping her. the world is dangerous place. the world has hurt her before, i know it has. so…i need to be the hero and save her from it. Jasper once said “you have to do evil things to protect the ones you love”, i took it to heart, and i know he has too.

I got to keep holding onto her. i need to. she saved me so i’m gonna save her too.

WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?

I see her eyes…once so bright and full of light…now…there’s something else…fear? sadness? i can’t see what it is. maybe i’m going crazy. but love is crazy. part of me knows that keeping her here, locked in between these walls, in this cage, will only break her. maybe it already has.

The thought of her walking out of those doors, disappearing into the night, leaves me paralyzed with panic. no, no, no, no, i will NOT lose her. i will NOT live a life where she’s just a fading memory, a silent husk of what she was. a ghost hunting the empty halls of my soul.

So i cling onto her. i hold on as tight as i can. i try to cinvince myself this is love. but deep down, deep in my heart, in the silence that follows every heartbeat, i wonder…am i holding her close because i love her…or am i just holding on just to not face the truth?

[karma-yandere-thoughts]

General info

Minors DNI

i chose to make this blog to show my writing for the story i'm making. just general ideas, scenarios, and all that.

these scenarios and ideas may or may not be in the final story, but i'm using them to get the idea of how the characters act and speak, etc.

some of the characters info may change as i continue the story

Masterlist

Characters/Oc's:

Yanderes:

Raphael:

nothing yet

Sullivan:

The Pianist & His Rose

Milo:

nothing yet

Jasper:

nothing yet

Killian:

Smoking

non-yanderes

Cheri:

Nothing yet

Misc:

I love her, so i hold on

[karma-yandere-thoughts]

Smoking

Warnings: yandere-ish, slight Obsession Word Count: 903 Character(s): Killian (Oc) Not beta read, English isn't my first language, it's not really yandere, but the character is planned to be one, hence the yandere tags. wrote this for my friend, but decided to post this.

The smoke filled my lungs as I inhaled the cigarette smoke. I was watching her from a far. She was talking to some guys from her class, smiling, laughing. It should've been me making her like that, but no. It was some random guys.

I took another drag of the cigarette. Keeping the smoke in my lungs for a moment before exhaling it. The cigarettes always made me calm down a bit. The slight feeling of being lighter filling my brain. Some may call it light headedness but for me it was freeing. Like nothing could go wrong in that moment. all the stress is gone.

I glanced at her again. She was leaving. Walking towards me. Still smiling but her eyes showed a slight disappointment. I did promise her I'd stop, or at least wouldn't smoke as much. I know she could never get why I smoke, but at least she cares, and that’s all that matters to me.

Seeing her disappointed made me feel bad, but good at the same time. Bad because I had broken a promise, but good because it showed she actually cared about me. Maybe some twisted part if me wanted to see her disappointed. I wanted to see how much she cared about me.

Another drag. It was gonna be fine, I'd just tell her I had stopped smoking so much and this was the first cigarette of the day. it would be a lie, but I didn’t want to disapoint her too much even if the looks she gives are cute.

“I thought you said you wouldn't smoke again” she said. Her smile had disappeared, replaced by a slight frown.

I smiled sheepishly, as I took another drag, “this is the first one today, I promise.” I said and blew the smoke it her face. she grimaced and shot a slight glare. “cute” I thought. “don’t do that!” she pouted. how could she get even cuter? “sorry, princess”, I wasn’t actually sorry, and I might do it again at some point in the future. she’s making it so easy to tease her.

I brought the cigarette to my lips again. I closed my eyes as I leaned against the wall. letting myself feel the smoke filling my lungs. that all too familiar feeling filling my head again.

“why do you even smoke?” her voice brining me back to the present. “it helps with the stress. and you know how stressed I can be” I explained. “with all the modeling stuff and all?” she tilted he head slightly. I nodded, “yeah, with modeling, classes, it’s like I never get my own peace no matter where I am. when I smoke, even if it’s just a moment, I feel free from all the stress. it’s like I have a moment for myself”

she nodded slightly, like she understood what I said. “you know there’s other things you can do to help with stress” she said. I frowned, “i know that. everyone always says that. I know it’s not healthy and there’s other things I could do… but sometimes I feel like it’s the only ting that helps…” I sighed and paused for a second “but… I know you don’t like it, and you made me promise to smoke less… i’ll keep it to 3 cigarettes per day, okay? I promise I will.”

i continued before she could say anything. “now, lets get you home. the classes are over, and I know you have stuff you need to do, right?” she nodded and looked into the distance, “yeah, homework and then I need to meet few of my friends, and then go for a run. I probably don’t need to make food because I have left overs” she mumbled to herself, rambling a little bit.

i tossed my cigarette to the ground and stomped it so it wouldn’t start a fire. “come on, i’ll walk you home” I pushed her forward slightly by her shoulder.

“don’t you have modeling stuff to do today?” she asked as we walked. “i do, but it’s not until later today. why do you ask?” “well, I just didn’t want to make you late for anything. I know how important it is for you and you don’t like being late.” she explained, fidgeting with her hair.

sometimes I really wanted to braid her hair. it looked so soft and silky. few split ends, but that didn’t really matter to me. everyone had those from time to time. maybe I should buy her products to help her with that. maybe someday, when we were closer, or if she complained about them.

“i wouldn’t have offered to walk you home if I was needed somewhere else.” “mm” she hummed, “I was just making sure. i’d hate to be the reason you were late for something.” a small smile appeared on my face. she was so caring. why couldn’t everyone be so kind? but then again, world wouldn’t run like that. I didn’t want anyone else to be like her, she wouldn’t be so special if everyone was like that.

“you don’t need to worry about things like that. besides, I wouldn’t want to miss hanging out with you now, would I?”