karyacemplon

[karyacemplon]

Week 10- On da grind

Figure 1

Indonesian meme

Note: This meme can be roughly translated as "I am going off(line) first (bray is slang for bro). I am questioning my life right now"

Honestly speaking, I feel mentally better in week 10 than I did in the previous week.

What?

This week was characterised by two words: stress and grind. However, this push might be a good aspect, as I managed to get my card design quite literally finished. Buttttt at the same time, a declining state of sanity. I feel immense gratitude to the FabLab technicians (especially during printing, cutting and sudden laser cutting) for supporting and helping me despite the short notice and the recognisable cramming.

Week 10 felt like an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, I was stressed, and then I felt relieved. The week was dominated by late-night calls with my friend and black coffee. I know. Who drinks black coffee at 2 am? Apparently me. Despite being a whirlwind of emotions, this experience I gained new insights about approaches.

Since beginning my design journey, I have been scared to come into the FabLab. I do not know what influences me to feel this way, but I just know that coming into the lab--even the old Design space--makes me anxious. However, I have to admit that this experience was a letdown. I am disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen in the first place, but I am grateful to have gained new knowledge along the way.

Final designs

Figure 1

Flora and Fauna cards

This is the design I created for the flora and fauna cards. By combining the two colour palettes I have and decreasing and increasing hues, I was able to obtain the colours of the card. On the cover page of the cards, I have included a Māori word and its meaning. Inspired by a piece in the museum, I chose Haumanu, meaning to revive.

Figure 2

Question cards

As for the question cards, I have chosen the word Whanaungatanga, which roughly means kinship. The chosen words reflect the card game themes, of connecting, environment and communication. Slightly different from the flora and fauna cards, the questions deck adopt a ticket-style design.

Overall, I aimed to make the card designs inviting, warm and easy to the eye. Hence, the mixture of warm and cool tones.

Figure 3

Rulebook

Similar to the style of the question cards, I designed the rule book to look like some kind of ticket. The rule book will be folded piece of A4, and includes the details of the game.

Figure 4

Prompt Sheet

The prompt cards are replaced with the prompt sheet, but this time, using this is optional. The game provides a list of prompts and also encourages players to make their own prompts. Moreover, the cover page follows the theme of the cards and includes the word 'Kōrero', meaning to speak.

Figure 5

Map sheet

Instead of A4, the map will be printed out in A3 size. This will allow for more drawings, notes, and scribbles of thoughts. The map includes the names of areas where the species might potentially be and some quick facts, which will be improved and added in the final iteration.

Printing

Printing is evil. I encountered multiple struggles when it came to printing, and nothing seemed to work 😭. At first, I felt relieved as I had completed my file and needed to print it. Everything was sorted, and the paper; I allocated some time to print. I thought everything was going well until I encountered the first problem--being unable to print from my laptop. All the computers in the design space were fully booked, so I had no choice but to print from my laptop. Printing normally went well, but the challenge came when I had to use my own papers. Somehow, my laptop did not have the bypass tray settings; despite getting help from the technicians, I ended up on a closed road.

The technicians helped me print using their computers. However, the second problem occurred. Using my papers meant that I could not use the double side feature and had no option but to put it back in for a second round. This is risky, as me being me; at some point, I might forget which way the paper goes. In the end, wasting paper if I repeatedly make a mistake 😃🙏.

Therefore, to mitigate this problem, I decided to go to a printing location where my friend had previously used their service. This is where everything went downhill... It turns out I did not set up the document properly, which took more than two hours for me to reset it. And guess what? I did not end up printing as the store closed and I partly gave up.

Nevertheless, I did not give up. I went to another location with public university computers. This is where I encountered the irritating challenge of having a somewhat corrupted file. It turns out that sending the file, downloading it, and printing it from my university email caused the outcome to be darker and have dark boxes. At this point I was very annoyed and in the verge of crying.

I rushed back to the design space and asked for help once more. This problem could not be solved; hence, I had no option but to print with printing paper and paste it onto the paper I bought. I was filled with anxious thoughts and was irritated. However, the support, help, and advice I received from my peers and the FabLab technician profoundly helped me to become calmer and relieved.

Laser Cutting and Final Outcome

A FabLab technician recommended cutting the cards using a laser cutter. And being quite a messy cutter, I feel a burden off my chest hearing that I am able to do this. However, after a few trials, I manually cut as I had little time left. Over an hour, I felt my soul leaving my body and entering again. However, I finally finished it and was ready to take pictures! I felt relieved but not fully relieved.

Figure 5

Photograph

Note: This is a photograph taken for the poster.

Figure 6

Photograph

Note: This is a photograph taken for the poster, but not used.

Figure 7

Photograph

Note: This is a photograph taken for the poster.

So What?

I gained some valuable insights from this experience. Overall, this emphasises the importance of having a backup plan. For instance, if printing back to back does not work, then printing normally is the backup plan. If laser cutting does not work then manual cutting it is. I know I made a project plan with plans A, B and C, but this experience alone shows how important these plans are.

Furthermore, when talking about my regrets, I was fully expecting to be hit by reality or roasted by my peers and the technicians. However, I received responses that I did not fully expect. Instead of being roasted and being told the straightforward truth, the reactions I got were generally optimistic. Particularly not to dwell in the past and just focus on the present moment. Yes, I regret my actions, but I cannot change them anymore. All I can do is focus on what I am currently doing and what I will do in the future.

Buried underneath stress and panic, somewhere deep within me, I believed in myself that I would complete this. I did complete the assignment, but at what cost? I was not fully satisfied with the outcome, and I felt ashamed and embarrassed of myself.

Now What?

Now what? Well, it is time for a reflective action plan. I think my main challenge is overestimating my time, leading to poor time management. Along with setting priorities and creating backup plans, having a moment of reflection can be helpful. This way, I can both think idealistically and realistically about how the plan will be executed. Having a plan of what I hope and what might actually happen helps estimate the time I need or have left. At the same time, pushing me to continue.

Referencing Bersuwara. (2024). [Social Media Post]. X. https://x.com/bersuwara/status/1802968063228400002

[karyacemplon]

Week 9- I am losing my mind

TW: Descriptions about breakdowns, anxiety

Figure 1

Picture of a man crying

Note: This is an Indonesian meme of a man saying, "I don't care!" but his crying subconscious is instead saying, "(Bro) that's enough". Overall, it indicates that the man wants something to be over despite saying he is doing fine.

Welp. It is almost the end...hahahahaha

But on a serious note, I did not took it as good and smoothly as I thought I would 😭.

What?

Week nine ventures into the Te Whiwhinga phase, which can be described as the starting week where I spiralled down. I got hit with a big reality check that the poster was due the following week, at week 10. This made me wonder what I have done over the past weeks despite feeling and knowing I made some progress. Consequently, this shapes a mindset of thinking that I am unable to finish by the time the deadline comes. And truth be told...this placed me under stress that I have never felt before.

TW: Descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns

Although it might seem that my problem is not as heavy, somehow, I had three breakdowns over week nine. These breakdowns were mainly characterised by the feeling of being unable to finish on time-- terribly scares me, knowing that finding the poster materials would be difficult. During these low moments, I often felt that the silence around me was slowly driving me insane, given how loud my thoughts were. In other words, being alone with my thoughts overwhelmed me; at the same time, I found it challenging to continue regardless of whether I was with people or alone due to being restless. Whenever I calmed down, the idea of thinking about the project itself caused me to feel pressure on my chest.

I felt lost, as I did not know where to go. Going home sent me to a more anxious state, as that is where I often had my breakdowns, but being in the university does not help either. The exercises I was suggested to do (by a professional) did not seem to work either. These were mainly the anxiety grounding techniques and having to differentiate emotions and feelings in order to implement self-confidence. However, despite this and the company I had, I could not help but feel lost, anxious and scared.

The reason I am opening up about this is that my everyday life was impacted during these moments, and that I am currently in a better state to share. Whether I was thinking about my assignments or not, I was often restless and sought solace in work outside of university. Despite being in a better state than week nine, I am still unsure how I can deal with, overcome and prevent this from reoccurring.

Okay, enough with this and it is time for progress updates!

For the entire week, I began my official drawings and iterated directly on Illustrator. My progress was slowed down due to my mental state; however, I have created progress that has significantly helped me in the following weeks.

Official Drawings

I knew that only having a week to complete the drawings would be realistically not possible (might be). I decided to make four drawings but ended up making three. And 3to give a full effect, I considered making dummy cards.

Figure 2

Illustrations of species

Note: From the left to right, Tui bird, Koru and Nikau palm.

Each drawing took approximately two days, as my research came up with different answers and conclusions. There are pages mentioning a species native to Auckland CBD, but others contradict this fact. Getting this sorted took a bit of time, and I must admit that my method was not as sustainable. At first, I drew the Tui bird in a different colour palette, referencing drawings I found on the internet. Turns out, I got it completely wrong 😃.

Card iterations

Figure 3

Card iterations

Note: From left to right, first, second and third card iterations.

At this point, I was still confused about my solution idea. I understood it but saw flaws in it, too. Nonetheless, I went on with the idea until the following feedback. To recap, this version has three decks of cards: prompt, flora and fauna and questions. I had sketches of making the prompt card a leaf but ultimately decided against it.

The first iteration shows the prompt card as more fancy, while the subsequent iterations present a more friendly and comfortable feel. Despite this, I still felt as though something is oddly missing and wrong...

Third Physical Prototype + Feedback

Returning to the leaf design, I decided to make a quick prototype with this shape, which was also used to get feedback from the stream leader. This was also an opportunity to experiment with paper types. I tested out three different papers with 1000mic, 830mic and 530mic thicknesses.

These are some insights I gathered:

Middle and least thick papers (830mic and 530mic) are the best options. 1000mic is way too thick and stiff, while the 830mic is rigid but flexible, and the 530mic is flexible and easiest to cut. However, this comes back to what kind of card game I am going for.

Paper colour matters. The papers I got for this experiment were brown, significantly affecting the overall colour quality.

Paper cutter, my best friend. In this experiment, I cut the papers using a paper cutter at home. Compared to manually cutting, the results are generally better, as it is neater.

This prototype feedback was significant feedback that changed the course of my project's direction. I realised further that the prompt cards were difficult to understand after the stream leader gave input, saying that the deck might confuse players. With this, I was advised to add more environment-related interactive environments.

This was an aspect I had difficulties about.

The feedback I received was to get rid of the prompt card and instead add a map to encourage international students playing to explore the city together to discover the species.

So What?

Overall, this experience tells me I should have allocated more time for this part of the project. Most importantly, I need to reflect on my working methods. Looking back, despite not having much time, I could have adjusted my approach accordingly.

I acknowledge that I felt stressed. However, this should not be an aspect significantly hindering my progress. The card iterations taught me that having sketches does not really help me sometimes. It made me further realise that I value iterating and ideating directly on the software (in this case, Illustrator), as this seems to be the push to get me started.

Another valuable insight I got from my experience is related to prototypes. I have expressed how I changed the idea of using a leaf shape but then created a quick prototype of it anyway. I believe prioritising some activities will be a better approach to this. Placing importance on some activities, or in general, having a clear sequence in my approach will be more time efficient.

Reflecting, I think stress and overthinking thoughts drove me over week nine. Honestly, I felt quite displaced and did not feel like myself in the previous weeks, but these feelings were emphasised in week nine. I felt as though I was in autopilot mode for almost all of week nine, and that I was not truly present in the moment.

Now What?

Well, I do not have many solutions for the challenges I encounter due to my mental state. In the previous weeks, I mentioned plans I wanted to try out. However, these plans did not work in the end, as it seemed like everything just fell apart once I was heavily under pressure. This is a matter that I will be discussing with someone else and hopefully find a solution to.

Overall, I realise that managing and organising my time is something that I struggle with. Specifically, I need to create a better work approach structure to maximise my time efficiently. I noticed that having reminders or written schedules does not really help me, as I tend to forget and do not even bother to look at it. However, this is something that I can change, perhaps through constant exposure to the action and idea.

I need to set priorities for specific tasks and create some sort of hierarchy (I do not like that word, as it means something else in my research). This will start from the most important, in which the least important task can be abandoned depending on necessity. Frankly, I feel that I can set a mindset to adopt this action plan. This will start with thinking and understanding each weight of tasks and setting priority to which is heaviest.

Side note: I have asked my mum to pray for me, which kind of indicates how desperate I currently am 😭.

References B Music_26. (2023). New Video [Image]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkx1gNdux3TlhHMmegLVFNWXUF0U2efQUYg?app=desktop

[karyacemplon]

Jangan stress but I very mules and lieur, I just want to turu.

Aku stress berat 😭. This does not make any sense at all, but it means, "Don't stress, but I feel very anxious, and I just want to sleep" 😄

Sorry for the short post; I just wanted to express my feelings. But... there will be new reflections coming soon!

[karyacemplon]

Week 8: Reflection and Updates

Week eight remains in the Te Whainga stage, where I picked up my previous week’s activities. I cannot lie; I still feel behind and anxious, but I still have to continue and make progress. Categorised again by anxiety and fear, week eight is emphasised by making a rough rules draft and further developing the card designs. 

Sketches

Figure 1

Further iteration sketches

Fact

In week eight, I specifically reimagined the flora and fauna card. I developed the idea further using the same concept by adding details and fixing the layout. Previously, the deck was relatively blank, with only the pop-up species in the middle, the name plastered behind it and facts on the side. In this version, I have decorated the empty spaces with other elements related to the species, such as their habitats. 

Connectivity of elements: In the first sketch, I drafted the card details to connect. Despite not having the exact details, the position of elements should be related to the next card to create harmony. 

Title positions: I experimented with two different title arrangements in the second sketch. Although not different, the left version is spaced further than the right. 

Borders: I looked at a more twirly border for the third sketch instead of a plain straight one. However, reflecting, it does not seem to match…

Shaped-borders: I tried making the background the species’ shape for the final fourth sketch. Since the card’s species is a Koru, the background is Koru shaped. 

Rule mind map

Figure 2

Rough rules draft and feedback

Fact

I have also created a mindmap of the card game’s rules along with the sketches. This includes main and side rules, the flow of the game and feedback I obtained from my peers. The diagram can be summed up through these bullet points:

Main rules: 

Players will each take two action (previously named prompt) cards, one flora and fauna card and one prompt (previously named question) card. 

Each action card has different points depending on the difficulty, and players must choose a card to use. All action cards used must be piled up after their turn is completed. 

After reading the flora and fauna card (not loudly) and, a one-minute research time is given.

Players express and narrate their stories through the action card they chose. They are encouraged to draw from personal and cultural experiences. 

At the end of each prompt card, there is a side quest that rewards three points if it is completed. 

Side rules:

On some of the action cards, there will be icons indicating an advantage they can use. However, not all action cards obtain this feature. There are three types of icons for trade, swipe and take one action card. 

Since the game’s main idea is to encourage sharing stories and experiences, winning is reasonably straightforward. At the end of the game, players have to share how they completed their side quests to earn a point. If no one notices them completing their quests and if they are believable to other players, three points will be awarded. This will count toward their total points, including calculating the total points from their action card pile. 

I asked my peers for feedback as I struggled to find a way to incorporate activities to encourage interactions with the environment. My peers suggested adding scents to the flora and fauna card to elevate the experience. Moreover, to add the interacting element into the action and (or) side-quest cards. However, another peer raised the concern that this might not be ideal since I do not really know where and when the players are playing. 

Feelings

It goes without saying that anxiety still roots deep within me. However, I find it difficult to recognise and acknowledge my abilities. Perhaps gradually I might be able to accept and trust myself eventually. Reflecting on the presentations and listening to my classmates’ speeches, I felt behind, specifically that my prototype was inadequate. I felt that I did not measure up to an invisible expectation and as though I had been using other people’s progress as a benchmark. I understand that everyone works differently at their own pace, yet I still cannot help but feel behind. 

Despite the talks and feedback, I am not convinced everything is fine… However, I have implemented reassuring myself that feeling this way is okay and normal. If I look at it from a bigger perspective, I have made enormous progress. However, why does it not work? Til’ this moment, one question persists–how can I trust myself? It feels as if the line between deception and truth is blurred. Am I just gaslighting myself to think that everything is fine? 😭 (I do not know anymore 😭). 

Findings

It is self-explanatory that this most likely stems from anxiety, and it seems as if the methods I have detailed in my previous blogs are not as impactful. Hence, since my trip back home to Jakarta, I have occasionally implemented the grounding technique. In fact, I had to apply this anxiety-relief technique before continuing to write. 

Grounding helps me calm down and be more aware of my surroundings. In a way, this clears up my perspective of any negative and stressful thoughts that might have clouded my mind. This makes me think that perhaps my approach has not been working because I have many things going on in my mind. Whenever I ground, I feel fresh and am in a better mood to work. The technique helps distract negative thoughts by connecting with the five senses of sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch (Raypole, 2024). 

Figure 3

Anxiety grounding technique instructions

As shown in the figure above, the technique is straightforward, in which I frequently look at one spot before doing this. It is necessary to pay attention to taking slow and deep breaths before following the technique (Behavioral Health Partners Blog, n.d.).

As for the project’s progress, I discovered that doing pop-up books for all cards might become overwhelming and too much–it is simply not feasible. Hence, my idea is to incorporate this feature into specific species and find a simple yet comforting illustration style. Furthermore, when debriefing the game concept, my friends–who do not study design and have no clue about my capstone–mentioned that the instructions are clear and the idea seems exciting. 

Future

It feels like I am adding more techniques to my current approach. Perhaps this can be seen as a good thing, as I am gradually building my personalised way of coping with my emotions. 

From now on, I will use the grounding technique or perhaps any approach to help calm down and freshen my perspective. This way, I can find the root cause of the feeling and address it through the strategies I have collated on the way. Therefore, I can better reassure myself that everything is fine and well. Moreover, having the clarity to achieve the milestones I have set for myself that is flexible and adaptable to my current circumstances and emotions. As for the project’s progress, I will continue ideating details and digitally experimenting directly with the colour palette. Furthermore, I recently bought papers with different thicknesses and textures that I will use to make my third prototype before creating the final. 

To anyone reading this post please pray for me. Thank you and see you on the next one.

Figure 4

Mr. Krabs eye twitching

References Behavioral Health Partners. (n.d.). 5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety. University of Rochester Medical Center. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx Blooming Littles. (2020). 3 Proven Techniques to Decrease Anxiety and Stress To Use on Your NICU Journey [Infographic]. Blooming Littles. https://bloominglittles.com/3-proven-techniques-to-decrease-anxiety-and-stress-that-you-can-try-right-now/  Spongebob Squarepants. (2013). Stressed Out Reaction GIF [Online Moving Image]. Giphy. https://giphy.com/gifs/angry-frustrated-annoyed-pYI1hSqUdcBiw  Raypole, C. (2024). 30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques

[karyacemplon]

Week 7: Reflection and Updates

I actually cannot believe it is week seven already… It is crazy how time moves so quickly 😭. This week started with me arriving from my hometown back to Auckland (or reality as I like to call it). I was plagued with jetlag and the overall dreadful sense of feeling empty, anxious and fearful. I kid you not, almost every day for the past two weeks since I arrived back, I have been sleeping at 6 in the morning… 

However, there are other matters I need to prioritise, and life must still go on. So, with a heart longing for home, panda eyes and a soul filled to the brim with anxiety and fear–I walked further, following the path I chose. Glancing back to the distant, diverged road, I saw bumps and holes that I faced. Truly a not-so-warm embrace of the hardships I have encountered, but a reminder of my journey, which is enough to encourage me to continue walking. 

Week seven is primarily highlighted by external partner feedback, though I have also sketched ideas for my card game design and created a quick prototype. Aside from this, I have received valuable insights from both my peers and partners. For this blog, I will use the Four F’s of active reviewing model adapted from Roger Greenaway (1992). 

Sketches

Figure 1

Card sketches

Figure 2

Box sketches

Fact

Above are my sketches for the card game, and the colours of the sketches are not the final colours. There are three decks of cards: prompt, flora and fauna and questions card. Just a brief recap: the prompt cards are random actions players must take to deliver their answers. The flora and fauna cards are facts about different plant and animal species native to Auckland. Meanwhile, the question cards encourage reflection on personal and cultural experiences. This card deck is completed with side quests relating to the flora and fauna card.  

When sketching, I was inspired by the simplicity of Cards Against Humanity and the maximalist aspect of Game On! Waterproof Playing Cards by Ban.do. I found the idea of designing each deck with different shapes to be more appealing than just using rectangle-shaped cards. From this sketch version, the prompt cards are shaped like conversation bubbles, while the other decks are rectangular-shaped.

Second Prototype

Figure 3

Card measurements

Figure 4

Second prototype

Figure 4

Box experimentation

Note: The underlined pieces are the final version of the experimentation.

Fact

Envisioning the sketches into reality, I created a quick prototype to see if my ideas were feasible. To find out how big I want the cards to be, I did a quick research on card sizes (along with converting the measurements into centimetres, as everything is in inches, which annoys me). In ascending order, the prompt card prototype is the smallest size, while the question card is the biggest. Living up to the sketches, the prompt cards are conversation bubble-shaped, while the flora and fauna are pop-up cards. Meanwhile, the question cards are ordinary rectangle-shaped cards. 

As for the thickness of the paper, I have layered three to four sheets of paper, which seems to be an appropriate thickness for the cards. They are strong yet bendable; however, the flora and fauna card has some faults, mainly when folding. It is quite challenging to fold the card, consequently leading to thick creases in the middle of the card, making it difficult to close properly. Due to this, I need to consider and give more thought to this card deck particularly. Moreover, I have also experimented with the card game box. Inspired by takeaway boxes, I aspire to have the rules written on the box. However, I do not think this is cutting it…

Presentation

Slides making

Figure 5

External partners presentation slides

Fact

Implementing the feedback from the previous presentation, I have thoroughly used Illustrator for my slides. Through my slides, I want to give a sense of organicness, comfort, and the idea of sustainability; hence, I have used a layout similar to the slides I created previously. At the end of my presentation, I gained valuable insights from the external partners. A significant and primary insight I gained was to test the idea by collaborating with the university game club and my peers. Another is to incorporate environment-related activities, to encourage interacting with the environment. Otherwise, I must admit there was not much feedback from the partner.

Feelings

One persisting feeling I felt was still anxiety. Well…turns out I actually have an actual problem with anxiety. Now, I need to adjust my approaches to better accommodate and navigate through this capstone journey. Starting from the sketches leading up to the presentation, I generally feel more confident about my progress despite feeling like I am not measuring up to my peers. 

When sketching, I felt quite frustrated as I did not convey my idea as I expected. There was a polished version in my imagination, and I did not live up to it. I felt as though I had put my ideas and expectations onto paper, yet it still did not match my expectations. Consequently, this left me feeling frustrated and fearful. On top of feeling behind, I also felt that my idea was not adequate enough. Honestly, I also feel quite confused as I do not know where to start… I want to begin by putting down my ideas and seeing if they work, which I have. However, this left me feeling lost; it felt as though I did not know where to pick myself up. 

I believe this can be described by the phrase, “I have no idea what I’m doing” (Indeed Editorial Team, 2024).

Findings

I recently read an article specifically about this feeling by Indeed (2024) detailing the possibility of being influenced by burn-out, performances and the impostor syndrome. Consequently, this leads to doubting ability and a lack of self-confidence, negatively impacting work performance (Indeed Editorial Team, 2024). Exploring deeper about the concept, I believe I might have focused too much on achieving my goals and overcoming my challenges according to plan (Kornell, 2016). Looking back, I have been fixed on solving my challenges; as I expressed in my previous blogs, there was less room for flexibility. 

Therefore, adding to my previous action plans to overcome anxiety, I will be adding new elements to tailor feeling lost and confused. There are three primary and crucial steps I have to include: self-assurance that feeling this way is normal, recognising my abilities and most importantly, trusting myself. I need to remind myself that feeling this way is acceptable and valid. However, I must also recognise and acknowledge my strengths, abilities and weaknesses. Only acknowledging my weaknesses will push me back instead of lifting me. And finally, I need to have self-confidence to trust myself and my abilities. I must acknowledge that I have adequate potential (or more than enough) to complete this capstone assignment (Indeed Editorial Team, 2024).

Hence, one word: self-assurance. 

As for the progress of my capstone itself, there are various aspects to improve. This involves designing the cards and exploring different paper thicknesses. Moreover, I have to research more profound questions to ask, making sure to be sensitive, encouraging, and, most importantly, promoting reflection and communication. 

Future

The more I read this blog post, the more I realise that I am indeed messy—and that being messy is normal. I should not avoid my emotions and make myself a plain and emotionless robot, but this does not also mean letting these negative emotions pass. Every week, I encounter similar feelings and emotions and new ones as well, so why create an action plan to avoid them? My plans in the previous blog emphasised embracing my emotions and adjusting myself to accept and overcome, which I will continuously do. 

I cannot expect myself to stop feeling anxious just because anxiety makes me unproductive. (Anyway, doing this will lead to more damage than good.) Instead, I should adapt and accommodate these emotions I experience using new and old ways that have proven to work. Hence, from this blog, I realise that my action plan has been appropriate all along but is not flexible. Thus, I need to be more forgiving of myself and acknowledge my abilities. 

To breathe and ground myself to freshen my perspective. To recognise and acknowledge my abilities and build self-trust. To assure myself that everything is well and that I know I can finish this milestone I planned. 

That is it for week seven, see you later! 🚗

References Greenaway, R. (1992). Reviewing by Doing. Journal of Adventure Education and Outdoor Leadership. https://www.academia.edu/27674573/Reviewing_by_Doing Indeed Editorial Team (2024). I Have No Idea What I'm Doing at Work (Tips for Regaining Focus). Indeed. https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-at-work Kornell, N. (2016). What to Do When You Have No Idea What's Going On in School. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/everybody-is-stupid-except-you/201610/what-to-do-when-you-have-no-idea-whats-going-on-in

[karyacemplon]

Mid-sem reflection

I am happy to say that as I write this reflection, I am back in Jakarta! I aim to complete some work while still having time to unwind and rest, as, after all, I am back home for medical reasons.

What?

Yes, I have been quite unproductive, I would say. However, I have been receiving very helpful advice in applying it in the context of my project. (I hope that counts, too 😭). I have been feeling okay…this honestly sounds odd to me. However, I feel just fine but also a bit worried. Despite applying the steps I intend to take, I have an idea of what I need to do. I feel quite disappointed in myself for not starting any new task developments. Overall, although I am more hopeful as I can see my path clearer, I am getting stressed about the project every week. Amid this stress and anxiety, I am very grateful that I have friends to rely on for feedback and doing work together.

So What?

Observing the previous reflections, see how I have used emotions and feelings interchangeably? Well, it turns out they have completely different meanings. The main difference between the terms is that one is biased. In which feelings are essentially biased thoughts formed by “mental misconceptions” (Allyn, 2022). Meanwhile, emotions are instant sensations the body experiences (Allyn, 2022). In a way, feelings can be seen as overthinking thoughts, which, well…I have been sort of prioritising. I recently got advice to think of feelings as something I completely control and often false. While emotion is valid to experience, I do not have much control over it. Hence, dwelling over feelings is just as similar to overthinking, is it not? 

Moments when I feel anxious and doubtful despite being reassured multiple times through feedback could potentially be overthinking feelings. Honestly, looking at this from a bigger perspective, I see that everything is interconnected. Anxiety and doubtfulness stemmed from my perfectionism, which might have originated from overthinking feelings and thoughts. It seems to be a cycle in which the steps I have taken have gradually but surely broken the pattern.

Now What?

I realise that the only viable action plan as of the moment is to continue the practices I have logged in the previous weeks. To list a few primary action plans, that is looking at the picture from the right angle and continuously reminding myself that everything is okay when I start overanalysing and creating realistic schedules. In general, this plan assists me to be more realistic. Regarding my task, I have started to do illustrations and sketches of my prototype but have yet to finalise them. I will progress and traverse through the weeks with (hopefully) a better mindset and perspective on the overall assignment.

Stay tuned to see me get progressively stressed each week! 🕺

References Allyn. R (2023). The Important Difference Between Emotions and Feelings. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-pleasure-is-all-yours/202202/the-important-difference-between-emotions-and-feelings

[karyacemplon]

Week 5: Reflection

Week 5… It was one more week until I got to come back home! (Yay!) This week was a continuation of week 4, in which I tried to get a rapid and rough prototype to gain initial feedback on my idea. Honestly, overall, I am more hopeful than before (wow, I know, right), yet there still linger some anxiety and doubts. To be very, very honest with you, I think the show I watched pushed some extent self-realisation, motivating me to push on and move forward. Enough with the side reflection thought; I will dive deeper into my feelings, emotions and plans I experienced this week.

What?

Honestly speaking, I felt a bit like a wreck this week, yet more hopeful than I was the last few weeks. However, I am grateful for my friends who have supported me throughout week six and the overall journey–helping and accompanying me. I visited the game restaurant “Dice and Fork”, which helped me gather insights and form an initial game card idea. 

Despite this, I still felt (to this moment, as I am writing this blog) quite doubtful of the game’s impact and aim. One persisting question in my mind is, “Will it be useful?” There are various card games out there in the market that perhaps have a similar concept to mine, making me wonder if my idea is unique and as impactful. However, I tried to get feedback when I had the opportunity so that I could continuously iterate and create the best version of my idea.

So What?

This feeling tells me that my idea might not be as good and that I should find more ways to improve (that is how I interpret the feeling). This uncertainty and anxiousness I experienced might have stemmed from the lack of preparation, research or also perhaps the need to do the best. However, I have been feeling this since (I would say) the start of the project–so how can I properly deal with it?

Uncertainty

To address feelings of uncertainty, I first need to understand the origin of these feelings. Could it be the need for secondary research, preparation or even high self-expectation? This extends beyond understanding the actions that have caused, as “The key to beating uncertainty is to realise that the opposite of certainty isn’t certainty.” (DiGangi, 2023). I interpret this saying as the more I chase validation to assure myself, there will always be a possibility of feeling uncertain or rather, even more.

Applying to my circumstance, this is the nagging feeling of something that is not right despite gathering feedback continuously. When I analyse and reflect on my previous blog logs, overdoing something like asking for feedback is not necessarily good either. Gathering feedback in an “over” manner acts against the primary purpose of gathering opinion–to improve. Instead, this can be seen as a reassurance, as not many new insights are received during the process. In general, the opposite of uncertainty is self-trust (DiGangi, 2023). To understand and realise any associated emotions and why I am feeling that way. Trusting myself to find why I feel uncertain and anxious, and create solutions and next steps to overcome the challenge.

Overall,

I think that prolonging some tasks and just doing more research would be something I would want to change if I could travel back in time. However, that is impossible; hence, focusing on my next steps is ideal (I will explain more in Now What?). However, I should generally not leave things to the end and be more self-confident. Having these foundations will positively leverage my motivation and work outcomes. Helping to see in a different picture—that I put trust in myself as I believe I can find the cause and solution for any emotion-related challenges.

Now What?

Exactly the question to ask. Surely, there should be an action plan after the research and heart-to-heart talk in the previous sections. In week four, I discussed applying a perfectionist be-gone toolkit. And I am happy to say that it (partly) worked! It felt kind of cringe, I have to admit, but some tools worked effectively. Understanding my standards helped me see a different picture, specifically, why I have such high standards for myself. This was quite difficult to overcome and understand it myself. However, thinking realistically assisted me in lowering that standard to my current skill level. A statement that I continuously repeat to myself is, “That is okay”. Despite being a simple statement, this helps me realise that perhaps I am dwelling over this detail when it looks just fine in reality. 

Similar to the previous steps in the early weeks, I applied looking at the right perspective angle–not too big yet not too narrow. This, accompanied by understanding the standards of my tasks, helps me figure out how much time I should put into them, as I find that sometimes I tend to exert more time and effort into a task that is not as big. I am currently trying put into practice looking over the weigh of the task, and adapting a mindset that is equal to it. 

With this, I will also apply my new learning of striving to trust myself. I trust in myself and know that I can prevent a similar situation from reoccurring by doing what is necessary to avoid it. If I encounter the same circumstance again, I will practice trust in myself that I know how to overcome the challenge. 

“Apapun yang terjadi

‘Ku ‘kan selalu ada untukmu

Janganlah kau bersedih

‘Cause everything’s gonna be okay”

These lyrics from one of my favourite songs, “Ya Sudahlah” by Bondan Prakoso and Fade2Black (2010), perfectly describe what I should practice. When translated to English, the lyrics mean, “Whatever happens, I will always be there for you. Don’t you be sad because everything will be okay.” To overcome my challenge with perfectionism, I need to be able to ground and remind myself that everything is okay so I do not need to dwell too much on the details. I should trust myself to be satisfied and think everything is up to my standards. As employing self-trust means that I am always there for myself, despite the situation and the difficulties. And when I trust myself, my abilities and have realistic standards and plans, there is no need to worry “cause everything’s gonna be okay" (Prakoso & Fade2Black, 2010).

References Anxiety Canada. (n.d.). How to Overcome Perfectionism. Anxiety Canada. https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf DiGangi, J. (2023). Uncertainty Feels So Bad Because You’re Chasing the Wrong Fix. Linkedin. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/uncertainty-feels-so-bad-because-youre-chasing-wrong-fix-digangi/ Prakoso, B., Fade2Black. (2010). Ya Sudahlah [Song]. For All. Sony Music Indonesia. https://open.spotify.com/track/0OjiV7FpVCrOIq53ZSH1EM?si=06c2ab5b92b44c5a

[karyacemplon]

Week 4: Reflection

Just a quick question: When you watch a show, do you often interpret the meanings behind each episode and gain new learnings? Well, I for sure did with the show I watched in week three. Somehow, I can picture myself as the main character, in terms of growth and development, to become a better version of myself through continuous reflection. As someone who previously did not really bother reflecting, I find this blog somewhat therapeutic and eye-opening, encouraging me to reflect more on and in action. 

Quick side note: if you figure out the show, hit that like button 😄 (It is a detective/crime and celestial-themed series)

What?

Week three was characterised by feeling lost. Meanwhile, week four was still filled with uncertainty, with a tinge of lack of productivity. I conducted and collated information within week four; however, I felt exhausted for the whole week and had started the cycle of binge eating once more. Truth be told, I felt as though I had neglected my well-being, but I feel that this is not justifiable to the progress of development. 

Despite this, I have gathered insights from both the questionnaire and interviews, which has been very helpful in ideating as I have a foundation on which to depend. I am quite disappointed that I did not do this process in the early stages as I feel that this would have significantly helped me. With the overall idea in mind, I just need to get the top three ideas and, finally, a chosen idea… Which I should say, that the process is setting me on fire. 

So What?

I feel a bit more hopeful this week! However, the rating so far is still a 4/10 🙂. When I look into why I am experiencing difficulties in choosing an idea, I see a pattern of not being satisfied with my ideas and feeling as though it is not adequate. Again, I have discussed this in week two, as a symptom of perfectionism. However, a new kind of consequence has appeared–unproductivity. Following up on the research by Kwarcińska et al. (2022) I discovered about perfectionism, I might not be experiencing a burn-out; however, a deeper amount of stress (personally, of both assignments, external factors and the lack of sleep). 

I believe that in week three I had based most of my decisions on my emotional state, not logically or what is right. However, despite feeling this way, I have been seeking feedback when needed with the stream tutor and my peers at times. This way helps me keep in track of my progress so far, and bonus I get insights to optional trips that might be useful as research. In general, I need to be better in handling my wellbeing to achieve a desirable progress outcome. This might be difficult, but there are several ways I can improve starting with creating a better plan to overcome or leverage perfectionism. 

Now What?

“Now What?” is what I often exclaim to myself when I am stuck and panicking. Whilst pacing the room back and forth, one hand on my forehead and another clenching a chocolate bar (haha). For the past two weeks, I have been implementing my perfectionism overrule plan, which seemed to have worked but not at the same time. After two weeks of trial, I decided to modify the plan and make it much better by following a toolkit I found by Anxiety Canada (n.d.). Within this guide, there are three primary steps: Recognising perfectionism, using tools to overcome and rewarding myself. 

Of course, I will not be following the toolkit step by step; instead, I will modify it to fit my characteristics. I realised that I have been thinking in a perfectionistic mindset, only regarding situations and black and grey, overthinking and underestimating my capabilities. Moving on, I believe having some time to step back and reflect on my thoughts is necessary to understand if I am being reasonable or just falling into perfectionistic tendencies. Overall, I believe that I need to get into an anti-perfectionistic mindset to prevent this from re-occurring. To embed positive and realistic statements, such as reminding myself that I am always trying my best. 

I need to confront my fears and find out why, in the first place, I am perfectionistic. Perhaps due to the pressure I put on myself to make my parents proud? Being competitive? Reflecting on these aspects and talking about them with my friends allows me to get a clear perspective. In which, I had this conversation before, and it is safe to say that I am on track and everything is okay. I can not compare myself to others constantly when everyone has different work paces. Thus, I believe that combining my initial plan of looking into a smaller yet bigger perspective–including setting weekly tasks–along with embracing this new mindset will be helpful in breaking the never-ending cycle of perfectionism. 

Stay tuned for the next updates! 🕺

References

Anxiety Canada. (n.d.). How to Overcome Perfectionism. Anxiety Canada. https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf

Kwarcińska, K., Sanna, M. K., Nowotnik, K. A., Piotrowski, K. (2022). Perfectionism in theory and research. Przegląd Psychologiczny 65(3):97-112. DOI: 10.31648/przegldpsychologiczny.8803

[karyacemplon]

Week 4: Progress Updates

Selamat datang. I am back with another update! (LOL it is within the same day though, I apologise). Call me strange, but having a TV series to accompany me while doing tasks helped me get through the week…

Still in the Te Kitenga phase, this week I assessed the empathy interviews and online questionnaire and went on a research trip. Unfortunately, I must say that this week was not really productive, as I feel like lately I have been in a not-too-good emotional and mental state.

Collating Responses

Due to confidentiality and privacy reasons, I will not put a screenshot of my progress evidence. However, one key insight I gathered from the empathy interview is that community plays a critical role in fostering the feeling of belongingness. Meanwhile, the online questionnaire provided a range of insights, some contradicting and some agreeing with the idea of my project. Regardless, all insights are valuable, providing significant help in knowing what elements to consider to make a community-based solution that aligns with the stream’s How Might We statement.

Trip!

On the 10th of August, I went on a trip! To an event at Silo Park with my friends.

Figure 1

Me and my friends

(Me and my friends! 🕺 And do not worry, I have asked them for permission to post this picture)

Engagement Session

Figure 3

Session information

There were predominantly children in the event, with hands-on activities, such as puzzles and a dance session. However, when we explored a different section that was relatively quiet, was when I gained valuable experiences. 

Exploring the event...

Figure 3

Photos of spaces

In this section, different storage containers were remodelled into spaces, starting from a storytelling space, a moving library, an underwater creature art exhibition, the University of Auckland’s Marine pop-up space, and several others. Although the spaces might not relate to my project topic, however, exploring how the spaces are set up is helpful to know what attracts people to learn. This helps with the ideation of a solution, specifically the aspect of: what will make the target audience interested? 

I am leaving this week’s progress update on a cliffhanger (muahaha). Alright, see you in the next update! 🕺

[karyacemplon]

Week 3: Reflection

To be very very honest… one of the main reasons I am able to get through the week is thanks to the TV series I watched while doing work. #anythingtohelpmegetthroughthis

Figure 1

Dog shaking

What?

Coming into week three, both you and I would expect me to be more on track, yet I am not? (Question mark as I feel that I am making progress, but at the same time, not as much) As usual, I have obtained feedback from the stream tutor, ensuring I am in the right direction despite having a slower pace than the rest of my peers. I saw my friends with their chosen ideas, yet I am still exploring and discovering different potentials. To be honest, knowing this made me feel left behind and down, though I kept reassuring myself that this was not a competition and that we all had different paces. 

I spent quite a while reaching a milestone in progress as I continuously felt lost. It was as if a nagging emotion was constantly pestering me to change the initial solution of creating a community garden. Somehow, it felt as though the idea was not enough and I could do something better. Consequently, this feeling led to me being lost and confused about whether I was going in the right direction and whether what I did was adequate. However, this uncertainty helped me realise that I need to develop a foundation by understanding lived experiences of the target audience. This way significantly helped me understand where the challenge truly lies. 

So What?

Ultimately, reflecting back on this experience, I realise that I need more primary and secondary research to fully understand the topic. Particularly, understanding the lived experiences of the target audience is significant, which I could have completed in the early weeks to get a head start in the ideation process. However, what remains a more significant challenge is the anxious feelings I frequently feel when doing my tasks, which often lead to being unsatisfied and overwhelmed. 

Researching about this personal challenge deeper, I discovered that this is connected to my personality trait of perfectionism. Often accompanied by the habit of being overly critical, I set high (and unrealistic) standards for myself, measured by my achievements and standards. Relating to work, perfectionism is characterised by intolerance to failures, frequently leading to stress and burnout (Kwarcińska et al., 2022). In which, truthfully, I have been feeling this way eversince the beginning of the assignment and perhaps I have been acting this way as a response to perfectionism. I think this mindset of continuously overly criticising myself is not healthy and certainly not beneficial to the development of my project progress. 

Aside from addressing one of the primary challenges of procrastination, I discovered that gaining lived experiences is significant in understanding the target audience’s–of international students–behaviour and perceptions of the topic. Moreover, if there are any factors, including social and economic, that influence perceptions (Karunamuni et al., 2021). This opens a new window, which may have been closed if it were not for exploring lived experiences. 

In general, I have to explore different methods to help overcome my perfectionism or, instead, leverage the behaviour to benefit my progress development. I am not foreign to feelings of disappointment, confusion, and loss at this point. However, rather than only coming to terms with the feeling, I should search for ways to turn this challenge into something advantageous. 

Now What?

Oh my, never have I been this inspired and ready to conquer my fears. Re-evaluating week two’s action plan of looking at a smaller instead of a bigger view, I realised that not only have I set plans this way but also a similar mindset. However, it seemed to have worked. I will continue viewing the assignment from a narrow yet also big perspective, focusing on creating weekly tasks. Yes, I have to embrace feeling lost as it is a part of the journey, but also carrying the week two action plan to ensure that I am continuously overcoming the perfectionism and the nasty consequences it brings.

I will be sure to give an update in week 4! 🐣

References

Karunamuni, N., Imayama, I., Goonetilleke, D. (2021). Pathways to well-being: Untangling the causal relationships among biopsychosocial variables. Social Science & Medicine 272. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2020.11284

Kwarcińska, K., Sanna, M. K., Nowotnik, K. A., Piotrowski, K. (2022). Perfectionism in theory and research. Przegląd Psychologiczny 65(3):97-112. DOI: 10.31648/przegldpsychologiczny.8803

Seokatz. (2021). Dog Shaking GIF [Online Moving Image]. Tenor. https://tenor.com/view/dog-shaking-gif-21566090

[karyacemplon]

Week 3: Progress Updates

Hi! I'm back again with another update on my project! 😱

In week three, I entered the Te Kitenga phase. Turns out it took longer than I expected to get an improved version of my How Might We statement. To recap, I have received insights, research inspirations, empathy interview tools, colours, created questions and conducted the interview/conversations.

Week three started with gathering insights from a guest speaker.

Guest Speaker Notes

Figure 1

Guest speaker highlights

Although I did not have a one-on-one session with the guest speaker (as shown in the empty post-it notes beside the questions), I gained valuable insights relating to my capstone topic. I summarise the discussion into one critical insight: consider native plants not only in New Zealand but also in Auckland.

This is significant as my capstone project is located in Auckland, and an example could be the Nikau, which is planted along Queen Street, as it is the native plant that grows along the stream beneath the area. In a way, from the conversation, I imply that bringing back native species to Auckland ensures an opportunity for biodiversity to develop, as different regions have different native species that accommodate their climate.

Empathy Interviews

Figure 2

Empathy interview questions

Truth to be told, I felt really lost… Hence, as a foundation, I decided to conduct empathy interviews (or conversations, as I like to call them). Since I do not know much about what international students think about this and what they want, conducting this method allows me to gather valuable lived insights.

To start, I did some research regarding empathy interviews, exploring the appropriate way to conduct them and act and what questions to ask. From digging the internet, I gathered that creating a safe and comfortable space is essential, as the topic might be sensitive to some people. Thus, following the guides I discovered, I created questions based on my topic, which I adjusted accordingly depending on the people I interviewed.  

Online Questionnaire

Figure 3

Online questionnaire questions

Spicing things up a little, rather than conducting another empathy interview, I have chosen to do an online questionnaire. This way, I can reach more people within my target audience to gain more valuable insight into an element in my How Might We Statement/idea–relating to senses and the natural environment. Similarly, I researched survey examples and tips while adhering to the empathy interview guides to ensure I was sensitive and thoughtful with my questions.

How Might We statement change

Diverting away from my previous How Might We (HMW) statement of,

"How might we design a multi-sensory space, olfactory community garden for tertiary international students in Auckland CBD to feel at home despite being away while fostering connections to Aotearoa's whenua?"

I have decided to explore different areas of opportunities. Thus, I changed the statement to,

“How might we leverage human-nature connection to the environment to foster the feeling of belonging among tertiary international students?”

which is a deconstructed version of my previous HMW statement. This encompasses any possible solution idea and is not limited to only a community garden. It allows me to explore deeper areas of interest that I have bookmarked regarding this topic, yet I was unable to do the previous statement restriction.

With this new statement, I have three ideas in mind to explore: a community garden, workshops and storytelling exhibitions, all inspired by existing projects I discovered. 

Precedents/Inspirations

Figure 4

Inspiration research

I ended the week with research of existing projects for inspiration, which helped narrow down potential areas to explore.

I am getting even more stressed each week--see you in the next update! 💅

[karyacemplon]

Week 2: Reflection

What?

It is the start of week two, and you would have expected me to complete tasks I have set for myself…right? However, in reality, I have yet to meet the full expectations I have set for myself despite the tasks I have completed. Despite this, I have checked and gained feedback about my progress with both my tutors and peers and met with different opinions. 

That is what matters, right? (I hope so, I feel quite disappointed in myself 🙂) 

Upon reflecting, I realise that this is a recurring pattern that I fully admit happens whenever I start an assignment. It goes as follows: 

Mental block – realising that I am behind – trying to catch up – rushing the assignment

I have tried countless times to break this pattern (or bad habit, as you may); however, despite all my efforts, I fail. Imagine Inside Out, it feels as if a new nagging emotion–that does not know how it works in the headquarters–starts taking over forcefully. Thinking more about it, I realised that a more effective way to break this cycle is not simply setting deadlines for myself but by understanding why. Why is this happening? Is the key to breaking this never-ending cycle.

A significant factor in this stems from perfectionism and fear of not meeting unseen expectations. Deep down, I set a high standard for myself regardless of the tasks, which somehow have proved to go against me. These thoughts and emotions foster anxiety and fear of basically…nothing. Consequently, manifests itself as procrastination and hinders progress. 

So What?

Coming into week two, this block I experience have caused me to be behind; along with it, the consequences of falling behind. It feels as though I am left to my own devices without much of a clear direction, despite constantly asking for feedback. The plans I set to due within the first week has been pushed to the second, and so the second to the third. Perhaps it is the perfectionism within me manifesting fear and anxiety, haltering my progress due to feeling overwhelmed.

I have been basing my work on the final outcome I want to achieve, instead of looking at progress milestones. I viewed the tasks as a big picture and set the thought of “I need to get this done by tomorrow” “And this” “And this..” without considering external factors and the feasibility of the plan. 

Overall, I think that being a perfectionist, I tend to spend more time–than I am supposed–to complete a task, regardless of how small or big it is. I spend too much time thinking or overthinking, if you may, on the task, trying to polish it and make it perfect. Consequently, this leaves me less time to do other tasks and rush them in the end. As a result, I would only be left with the feeling of disappointment and regret–and I could not change the past even if I wanted to. 

Hence, along with plans and schedules, looking at smaller milestones within a task allows me to progress better. An example would be completing precedent A with complete research out of three precedents, would satisfy my perfectionism. Or completing a part of the research for all precedents before continuing to another part of this specific task. One lesson I learned from 301 is that, perhaps, this is what the real-world project is like. If I can not handle this, how will I move forward in the real world?

Now What?

That sounded a bit aggressive does it… But somehow, it gave me a reality check–now, what do I do if a similar situation happens in the future? I realise that what I do is completely on me, meaning that I have no official class deadlines for my design process. There is no turning back now, and the only way to progress is moving forward. 

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth”

Although the poem “The Road not Taken” (Frost, 1915)  has a different meaning to my experience, I can see myself reflecting on the stanzas. There are two choices I can travel towards improving from the challenges I face or continuing on with the work practice I have currently. There will always be some part of me that doubts myself as I think of the paths I should take, overpowered by the persisting question of–can I really do this? Would it be worth it?

Considering my behaviour and characteristics, I realise that moving on and looking at the smaller instead of the overall big picture will ensure smoother progress. Despite having a slower pace than my peers, looking at the smaller picture enables me to make necessary decisions on my project, creating significant progress when looking at the overall project. Checking in and asking for feedback from the tutor and peers is a prominent part of the process, which I should be grateful for. To have supportive peers, having the freedom to express my concerns and receiving guidance from my tutor which I might not have when stepping into the real world.

That is all for week two's reflection! Stay tuned for the next week!

References

Frost, R. (1915). The Road Not Taken. The Atlantic Monthly.

[karyacemplon]

Week 2: Progress Updates

I am back a little later than planned, but…with updates! 

Week two is the start of the Te Rapunga stage, where I will explore deeper about my idea. I have lagged behind my intended schedule and am now following the first stage of my backup plan. Along with refining my project timeline, I am grateful and proud of myself for having ticked some boxes (I have to say, this is so not me, but progress in my work and as a person is a milestone I celebrate 💐). Within this week, I have collated feedback from guest speakers about my proposal idea, developing details and deconstructing my How Might We statement to find areas to improve and refine. 

Branching out details

Figure 1

Shows a table illustrating details of the proposed How Might We statement

The function of this table is to branch out aspects of the proposed idea, giving a general detailed overview of the How Might We statement. This way, I am able to look back and remind myself of crucial details of the project, that must be considered during ideation. I have divided the table into four aspects: people, garden details, prototype and location. Underneath each area, I listed potential and official details, such as asking gardeners as potential people I can come to gain knowledge. Beside the column, I have used post-it notes in Miro to list another significant detail, going deeper into each prototype idea I listed in the table. 

When going further into the ideation refinement process, I found myself looking back at this table and post-it notes. In a way, branching out details acts as a foundation for the first ideation process. It helps me realise that there are other potential solution ideas aside from creating a garden, which I want to explore further.

First Iteration

Figure 2

Shows a brainstorm of areas to improve or a dissection of the proposed idea

Somehow, brainstorming by pencil helps keep my brain juices flowing. I found it significant to in a sense, to piece out my idea and make it a bit broader to open the opportunity of exploring other aspects apart from a garden. 

Gathering the feedback given by partners, the brainstorm I have completed are categorised into four aspects:

What kind of plants? This is derived from the partner feedback of exploring deeper into native and exotic plant species

How to deliver the purpose of the garden? 

How to create a safe space?

Connecting to Aotearoa through nature, environment and biodiversity

Figure 3

Shows a rough conclusion of the brainstorm shown in figure 2

The brainstorming ends with a potential rough tweak of the How Might We statement. Which, I have combined the feedback and main goals of my proposal to build the iteration idea of leveraging the human-nature connection in learning about biodiversity (such as learning similarities with Aotearoa’s whenua with international students’ culture or homeland to create a sense of belonging.

Furthermore, extending to the multi-sensory and olfactory aspect of How Might We statement, the iteration process suggests a new potential idea for using those elements as the basis of the solution prototype. Or, in a way, acting as an enzyme that catalyses the process.

So far that is it for the progress this week! Stay tuned for the reflection! 🕺

[karyacemplon]

Week 2: Choosing of Toolkit

(This will probably be the word of the month) It is week two, and I am still lieur. Though slowly (kind of concerning) getting a grasp of reality. This week, I have developed my ideas and refined my proposal further.

Right after class on Tuesday, 24 July 2024, I called my mum despite the time difference to ask her to pray for me. I can feel the prayer energy surging through my veins, as I have yet to have a breakdown this week (not praying that I will have one *knocks on wood*). This week, I gained new knowledge about reflections and the many toolkits that guide me, which I will utilise in the What? So What? Now What? To assess my progress, touching points of feelings, challenges, the implication of experiences and improvements to be made or the next action plan.

Reflecting on Experience Toolkit

(Rolfe et al's (2001) reflective model)

Apart from this model, another option I had in line with is Gibb’s Reflective Cycle. Similar to the What? So What? Now What? Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle model provides a more elaborate and detailed reflection process, assessing feelings, challenges and solutions more profoundly. The toolkit I have chosen to document this reflection enables me not to derail and focus on the primary aspects to reflect on.

References

Rolfe, G., Freshwater, D., Jasper, M. (2001). Critical Reflection for Nursing and the Helping Professions: A User's Guide. Palgrave MacMillan. 

[karyacemplon]

Des 302- Week 1: Overall Reflection + Action Plan

Overall, the first week has been fine, though I am quite lost on what to do and if I am behind the rest of my peers. Truthfully, I do not often make schedules and plans, and doing it now is quite difficult. I am unsure what activities to put in each week, whether it will work to my expectations, and if it is sufficient enough to be on track. Despite this, I am unsure if it is understandable to everyone accessing my board. Hence, to improve this, I will rearrange and check with my peers to gain quick feedback about it.

Reflecting on my progress, I need to improve my time management so that all planned activities can be completed within the time frame I have set. Despite having the timeline colour-coded, I have only relied on my memory. I believe it will take some time to get used to; hence, I plan to import this timeline into an app or any medium I often use (such as the calendar app). Moving onward, I plan on importing and writing my blog on Tumblr (if I receive permission to), in an effort to post more updates regularly and on-time.

In week two, I will progress my update by finding areas of improvement in my proposal and gaining feedback from peers, tutors and partners. Moreover, I will polish my project timeline further, adding backup plans and ticking off points from my to-do list. Additionally, I will start researching and thinking about questions for conversations and questionnaires for my peers.

Connecting to my positionality, this project has helped me learn more about myself,

I have discovered that I am more spontaneous and find it difficult to stick to plans and schedules. Reflecting on my positionality and proposal helps me determine how I want to present myself aesthetically in a way that aligns with my philosophy and standing.

References

[Used Grammarly AI]

[karyacemplon]

Des 302

Week 1: Progress

Traversing into this journey, I have kicked off week one by planning my schedule and adding necessary details related to my capstone proposal to have a clear view of what to do. As of the current moment, I have begun refining my proposal and brainstorming potential improvements and ideas. My idea in the form of a How Might We statement goes as,

“How might we design a multi-sensory space, an olfactory community garden for tertiary international students in Auckland CBD to feel at home despite being away while fostering connections to Aotearoa’s whenua?”

is quite specific. Hence, it is necessary to deconstruct it in a way that opens potential solutions that might be hidden due to the how might we statement.

Tools and Technology

Resourcefulness and sustainability are some values I have in mind, influenced by the nature of my stream and my personal philosophy. Therefore, my potential prototype ideas are currently centred around using scrap materials for physical prototypes and experiences or services (a vague idea I will get into in the following weeks).

In the following weeks, 2 and 3, I will conduct conversations and questionnaires through Google Forms and use Google documents to note down during talks with peers. As for the blog, writing it down on my website would be quite inconvenient due to my strange illness of forgetfulness. Hence, moving on, I plan on scheduling using the reminder app on my mobile phone on when to write and moving to Tumblr for easy access and mobility. Additionally, I am able to deliver updates quicker and on-time to my experiences.

Project Plan

To begin the Whakariterite stage, I have created a project plan to set a schedule, milestones for each week, and activities for each phase of the Hautu Waka. In case my overachieving master plan did not work, I have included backup plans B and C to ensure that I am still on track. I laid out important events and colour coded each phase of the Hautu Waka with different colours.

I have used a Miro template to create the timeline, as I found it useful to have the phases as the foundation and weeks within each stage. The pop-up bubbles to note down activities and events allow me to schedule multiple milestones with simple descriptions.

These are the colours I have used to code each phase and important events. I feel that it is essential to have some code or symbol to represent stages and important events, as it makes it easier to distinguish.

References

[Used Grammarly AI]

[karyacemplon]

Des 302- Week 1: Feelings

I cannot believe the holiday has come to an end so quickly! And so the last chapter of my bachelor journey begins… Now say it together with me, “LIEUR!”

My mind is racing; anxiety is slowly creeping–like an ominous shadow lurking and stalking me on this whimsical yellow brick road. Yet, I cannot help but be slightly excited about what awaits me in the future. It feels as if the week rushed to a start, and I am feeling quite lost, misguided by overthinking thoughts of whether I have completed my tasks correctly? Am I behind? And the nagging emotion that is so persistent in destroying my inner peace, perfectionism, anxiously repeating, “Have I done everything to the best of standard?” This is how I can describe my first week: a bunch of anxious emotions and excitement swirling, propelling me into the abyss of what I call my capstone journey. And as of this moment, I am still figuring my way around–slightly lost and confused, or what I like to call 'lieur'. Having a mental block does not seem to help either, as sometimes it requires several breaks to push through this phase.

References

[Used Grammarly AI]