kataramou-blog

[kataramou-blog]

[kataramou-blog]

"I survived but I paid for it."

Hamilton Meme | @bloodsoakcd

        ❝ i am FAMILIAR with the feeling. ❞

[kataramou-blog]

"I survived, but I paid for it."

Hamilton Meme | @hxdaleksakomtrigedakru​

       ❝ I’M SORRY heda. that burden should have been mine to bear. i failed you. ❞

[kataramou-blog]

YOUR FANDOM LAY DOWN

answer the questions below and then tag some friends. repost, don’t reblog!

tagged by: @hxdaleksakomtrigedakru

tagging: @omnessalvos and any other fandomless ocs who wanna develop their world.

YOUR FANDOM: I don’t have a title for it yet but it’s one of my own creation. YOUR MUSE: Ara Teuta OTHER MUSES YOU HAVE PLAYED FROM THE FANDOM: None MUSE(S) YOU’D WANT TO PLAY FROM THE FANDOM: None FAVOURITE CHARACTER(S): Ara and Ana probably. Cause Ara’s my cute lil bean and Ana’s an awesome mama figure. FAVOURITE PLOTLINE(S): I already have a bit of stuff planned for when Ara goes undercover in Mena’s village and it’s going to be awesome because Ara has no idea how to be a normal person even though it’s all she’s ever wanted. LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER(S): Probably Ara’s dad. Just because he gets really emotionally repressed after her mom dies.  SOMEONE YOU FEEL IS UNDERRATED: Ana probably will be because people don’t seem to appreciate awesome mamas.  FAVOURITE THEORY: That would be spoilers wouldn’t it? ;) LEAST FAVORITE THEORY: A STORYLINE YOU’D CREATE: I’m definitely going to create flashbacks/conversations with other sovereigns to show the awesomeness of the women who lead this country. A STORYLINE YOU’D CHANGE: I AM THE GOD OF THIS WORLD I DO WHAT I WANT WHAT CROSSOVER DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR FANDOM: This blog lives in crossover land b/c fandomless worlds are hard to play in. WHAT CHARACTER FROM ANOTHER FANDOM WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE APPEAR IN YOUR FANDOM?: Someone based off of Zoe Morgan. Because that’d be awesome. I might have to give Ara an instructor like her. IN THE WORLD OF MY FANDOM, I’D BE: Probably someone in Mena’s village. They’re really low-key people.

[kataramou-blog]

                           ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ᴡᴏɴᴛ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʟɪғᴇ

[kataramou-blog]

Take this sinking boat and point it home We’ve still got time Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice You’ll make it now

[kataramou-blog]

She’s more myself than I am.

[kataramou-blog]

HAMILTON : AN AMERICAN MUSICAL  → STARTERS

❛ he was longing for something to be a part of. ❜

❛ and the world is gonna know your name. ❜

❛ there’s a million things i haven’t done, but just you wait. ❜

❛ you never learned to take your time. ❜

❛ talk less…smile more. ❜

❛ who’s the best? c’est moi! ❜

❛ the plan is to fan this spark into a flame. ❜

❛ i’m not throwing away my shot. ❜

❛ i may not live to see our glory, but i will gladly join the fight !  ❜

❛ they’ll tell the story of tonight. ❜

❛ tomorrow there’ll be more of us. ❜

❛ i’m looking for a mind at work. ❜

❛ look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. ❜

❛ oh my god. tear this dude apart. ❜

❛ i will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love… ❜

❛ dying is easy, young man… living is harder. ❜

❛ then you walked in and my heart went ‘boom’! ❜

❛ you look at me and suddenly i’m helpless. ❜

❛ i am so into you. ❜

❛ i’m just saying if you really loved me, you would share him. ❜

❛ love doesn’t discriminate from the sinners and the saints. ❜

❛ i’m willing to wait for it. ❜

❛ i am the one thing in life i can control. ❜

❛ call me son one more time —…. ❜

❛ i don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. ❜

❛ that would be enough. ❜

❛ and we could be enough. ❜

❛ let me a part of the narrative in the story they will write one day. ❜

❛ you have no control : who lives, who dies, who tells your story. ❜

❛ history has its eyes on you. ❜

❛ awesome. wow. ❜

❛ i’ll make the world safe and sound for you. ❜

❛ why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? ❜

❛ what’d i miss? ❜

❛ run away with us for the summer. ❜

❛ take a break. ❜

❛ well, hate the sin, love the sinner. ❜

❛ no one else was in the room where it happened. ❜

❛ and then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye. ❜

❛ we both know what we know. ❜

❛ i will choose her happiness over mine every time. ❜

❛ god, i hope you’re satisfied. ❜

❛ i saved every letter you wrote me. ❜

❛ you built me palaces out of paragraphs. ❜

❛ be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive. ❜

❛ when you were mine, the world seemed to burn. ❜

❛ the world has no right to my heart. ❜

❛ i hope that you burn. ❜

❛ everything is legal in new jersey… ❜

❛ i’m so sorry for forgetting what you taught me. ❜

❛ it’s quiet uptown. ❜

❛ they are trying to do the unimaginable. ❜

❛ there are moments that the words don’t reach. ❜

❛ forgiveness. can you imagine? ❜

❛ i had only one thought before the slaughter. ❜

❛ i imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory. ❜

❛ what is a legacy? it’s planting seeds in a garden you will never see. ❜

❛ death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ❜

❛ i survived, but i paid for it. ❜

❛ have i done enough? will they tell my story? ❜

[kataramou-blog]

MARKOS:

Marcus isn’t entirely sure WHY he’s been brought into a cell upon his second arrival to Polis. He thinks it’s because of new SECURITY precautions due to the new Commander– but as the voice reaches his ears, he starts thinking that’s not the case.

He remembers being brought the news that Lexa was DEAD. He remembers his heart dropping all the way to the floor– how SICK it made him feel, that such an incredible leader ( and such a YOUNG girl ) had died. ( There was no time to MOURN, though. There was never time to mourn on the ground when everything was so fast paced. )

All those feelings stir inside of him once more, combined with relief and DISBELIEF. “..Lexa?”

       ara feels her insides TWIST at the name. the name belonged to the young woman she’d dedicated her life to, the woman she’d sworn to fight and die for, the woman who had died away from her shilda before ara could even react. the one time she wasn’t there, and lexa perished. SELF-LOATHING doesn’t even begin to describe what ara’s feeling, and hearing marcus say her name just rubs salt in that wound.

       but warriors don’t cry, at least not in public, and certainly not in front of foreigners, so she manages to somehow keep it TOGETHER.

       ❝ no. leksa is dead. i’m...my name is ara. i am...or rather i was...her SHILDA, protector. i believe your people call them bodyguards. i’m sorry we’re having to meet in a cell but...as you can understand, those still loyal to the TRUE commander line are worried for my safety. if ontari discovers i am alive, i could be seen as a threat to her rule, especially if she has not taken the FLAME. ❞

[kataramou-blog]

LEKSA:

“I understand your reason for concern.. It is appreciated, I assure you Ara. Your apology is accepted, however it was not needed. You are free to speak your mind.” the girl risked her life for her own, putting her body in harms way of Lexa’s was being threatened. It was mere courtesy that the girl could speak her mind if so desired. She was her —- friend. “One day my time will come.. but my fight is not over, Ara. There is much to be done.. and I will not have any threat of harm dictate my agenda. We will have our peace.”

      ❝ i hope you’re RIGHT, leksa. ❞ she chewed on her bottom lip, battle between head and heart raging. she knew affection was not common among their people, especially where the commander was concerned, but still, nia’s attempt on her life had made ara WORRY about her, and as such, she let her heart win. she stepped forward and hugged lexa tightly. ❝ i am very glad you’re OKAY. ❞ 

[kataramou-blog]

KLARK:

               “i won’t stay LONG,” she assures the other, lips pulled tight as she takes a seat carefully. she feels as if she’s being pulled in several different directions but if she starts to think on it, she’s going to cry. and ara doesn’t need to deal with that. “i’m sure you want to be alone.” for the most part, clarke wanted to be alone. but that meant thinking and that meant feeling. something she couldn’t do. not yet. so in the end, she decided she needed the company.

       ❝ i do, ❞ she confesses, ❝ but i also do not wish to LEAVE YOU without company. your people have a saying about that, don’t they ? something about misery ? ❞ and ara knows she and clarke are both feeling pretty miserable about now. ❝ you have SERVED her memory well. i hope you know that. she...i swear on my oath to leksa that i will protect you, klark kom skaikru, until the end of my days. it is what she would have WANTED. ❞  

[kataramou-blog]

MS HALSEY:

He couldn’t go a single NIGHT without laying his hands on her. SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. ( Apparently, forgetting to invite a few people was enough to set him off. ) Her nose has stopped bleeding already, but it doesn’t take away the feeling of HOPELESSNESS that’s carving a hole in her chest and the tears that don’t seem to stop. She’s grateful for the loud music playing for NO ONE can hear her. ( She doesn’t need saving, she thinks. One day this will stop. One day. )

She’s been crying for a good TEN minutes, now, sobs racking her body. She doesn’t even hear the footsteps behind her, so when a hand is placed on her shoulder, she JUMPS and swats the hand away in fear of it being James again, back for more. But the voice proves otherwise, and now she’s even MORE terrified of someone finding out.

LIE. Everything is fine. She’s so good at lying– it leaves her lips sounding as smooth as silk. A deep breath before she forces her voice steady, nodding and wiping away a few tears. “I, um.. it’s embarrassing, really..” Her laugh is nervous ( though, she hopes her lie is good enough to explain why ). “I– I tripped over my dress and slammed into the coffee table in here.. Silly, I know. I just….. My dress is practically ruined, now, and I borrowed it from my mother– and I feel so stupid for just– tripping– god she’s going to kill me,” she LAUGHS again before taking a deep breath. “Oh, I’m so sorry. You…. you shouldn’t have seen this. I’m sorry–”

       ara’s brow furrows in CONFUSION. she doesn’t know this woman past her name and reputation, and with most of their families that is virtually completely by design, but there’s something about her, a kindness and a niggling at her consciousness that tells her she shouldn’t leave her alone. she’s still not good with people, but maybe sometimes, maybe in circumstances like this, the words don’t have to be perfect, or even said at all. sometimes someone just has to BE THERE, and that’s enough.

       ❝ you don’t have to apologize. i just...i guess i’m having trouble seeing why your mother would be so upset over a dress. everyone here has more money than god. unless it’s some sort of sentimental thing, she can just BUY ANOTHER ONE. ❞ maternal cruelty is a foreign concept to ara. her own mother is kind, loving, and surrounded by other women who are equally as supportive. ara has had a council, a conclave of strong women to draw from. her mother’s strength, her aunt’s compassion, her godmother’s intelligence, they’ve all left their mark on her, so the thought of a mother rebuking her daughter for something as simple as ruining a DRESS ? it seems ridiculous.

       ❝ it’s kinda stupid, don’t you think ? i mean...no offense but these parties...doesn’t it ever drive you CRAZY ? everyone’s going around pretending to be all buddy buddy with each other when really they’re either sucking up or plotting to stab each other in the back. i mean...these stupid social functions are like...some of the most stress inducing situations ever, but if you show it well...heaven help you. to be honest, i’m surprised everyone here isn’t constantly tripping over their feet from the stress of it all. you’re more HUMAN than all the rest of them put together. and i mean that as a compliment. ❞

[kataramou-blog]

Lexa + feelings

[kataramou-blog]

KLARK:

               for a moment the words enough people have died rings in her ears, over and over until it’s enough to drive her mad. suddenly her hands are covered in black blood and she can’t properly breathe. but she pushes that to the side, swallows down soul crushing emotion. “i didn’t want to be alone,” she admits selfishly; wanted to be near someone who could maybe soothe the ache.

       now that, ara can understand. it’s not a feeling she shares. in fact, she would rather be alone so she could allow her emotions to RAGE, but clarke meant something to lexa, and that means ara has to take care of her. ❝ you are welcome to stay for as LONG as you’d like, klark. i am...i’m sorry i cannot be a better host. ❞ 

[kataramou-blog]

KLARK:

“No purpose?” she accused through gritted teeth, the fury continued to rage inside of her. The devastation of losing the girl was slowly consuming her. She had one goal only and nothing was getting in her way to prevent it from happening. “Like hell you do… you were to protect her and you will continue to do so.. it’s going to be risking, but there is no way I will let Ontari become the next commander.. You had to portray as Lexa and you bet you will continue to do so.. I don’t care what it will take, but we can’t let this happen.”

       clarke’s words STUNG, but mostly because of how close to home they hit. ara blamed herself for lexa’s death, asked herself every day why she wasn’t there when titus fired that gun. she hated herself, and her normal fire flickered and threatened extinction. ❝ you do not get to tell me what to do, klark kom skaikru. you knew leksa for a matter of months. i am not in hiding because i don’t believe i could successfully imitate her, but because it is an INSULT to her spirit. leksa was one of a kind. there will never be another like her. any attempt i made, though it may appear accurate...it would be a disgrace. i will not do that to anyone, much less someone i considered FAMILY. ❞ 

[kataramou-blog]

LEKSA:

The moment she gave order, changed their tradition of justice being served by spilling more blood, doubt had set in her mind. She stood by her decision, but knew she would be facing disagreement from her people. “Klark was right.. we live in a circle.. blood for blood, which only angers — seeking the need of revenge. It will never end if it’s not stopped. Justice will be done, crimes WILL be punished, but we will find other ways instead of choosing a death sentence without a second thought.” she reached out and clasped her hand on Ara’s shoulder. “My safety has always been in danger… I believe this is our best way to finally find peace.”

       ara nods. she, MORE THAN ANYONE, is aware of the cycle of blood that stains their culture. her mother perished at the hands of azgeda not long after ara was summoned to the capitol. she’d wanted nothing more than revenge, but lexa had STOPPED her. maybe, even then, there was a flicker of the peacemaker the commander has now become. ❝ i am sorry for doubting you, heda. i simply...do not wish to see you come to HARM. ❞ 

[kataramou-blog]

@mxkeitgoboom

       ❝ you’re the MECHANIC girl, aren’t you ? ❞ she’s only heard mention of raven a few times, but ara does know the woman is brilliant. she knows she’s taking a risk going anywhere near arkadia, but ara knows it’s the last people anyone will think to look for her. ❝ i...RAVEN, yes ? ❞