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What duty? Rhaegar was not burdened by duty, he was burdened by prophecy and chose to follow it at the cost of his actual responsibilities as a prince, a husband, and a father. He didnât struggle to uphold those roles, and he didnât hesitate when abandoning them. He left Elia and their children behind without explanation, disappeared from public life during a political crisis, and never took steps to protect or defend the family he left vulnerable (Leaving them âsafeâ is not.) He never expressed regret. He didnât write to Elia. He didnât defend her. He didnât justify his absence. He doesnât act like someone torn between two paths, he acts like someone who made a decision and committed to it. The entire ���tragedyâ framing only works if you grant Rhaegar a sense of duty he never actually demonstrated, and then excuse his abandonment by imagining he felt bad about it somewhere off-screen. But the text gives us none of that. He wasnât burdened by duty. He walked away from it. Again: what duty? His duty as a prince, a husband, and a father? He never cared enough to uphold his duty.
For privileged men, âdutyâ is just a disguised form of power, and their so-called tragedy is nothing more than melodrama â a bowl of brown soup would be enough to cure it.
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A royal portrait of House Targaryen âď¸ đ
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artist: 28idle commissioned by @archamion and @chemtrailsoverthesun no reposts allowed
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"After Aegonâs birth, it is reasonable to infer that Elia was again in a state of physical vulnerability (likely confined to bed or at least severely limited)" GOD! Iâve seen insane takes on âWhy didnât Elia do anything to save herself and her children?â Or the classic âRhaegar had a plan, Aerys ruined it.â Be fr!. Elia was placed in a situation deliberately designed to leave her powerless. Why is the burden on her to act, when the two men who actually held power, Aerys and Rhaegar, were the ones who created the situation to begin with? The people insist that Rhaegar and Lyannaâs choices were justified escapes. Letâs be clear: For whatever reason, Rhaegar chose to walk away from court, from his wife, and from his children. Lyanna chose to leave her family, disappear, and not tell anyone of her intentions. Elia had no such freedom. In Westeros, a womanâs mobility, decisions, and survival were mediated through male protection and support networks. Elia had none left. And yet somehow, the burden falls on her to act. The narrative expectation is that Elia (a woman isolated, physically compromised, and cut off from any institutional support) shouldâve singlehandedly saved herself and her children. Meanwhile, Lyanna, the so-called âwarrior princess," "the kotlt," is the one who needed saving. From her betrothed, from Aerys, or depending on which fan bullshit theory people are trying to spin to sanitize this dumbass romance. If Rhaegar had a plan, it clearly didnât involve Elia or her children. After all, he left them under Aerysâs control. If that was his idea of a plan, it was either catastrophically negligent or cruelly selective.

They canât criticize Eliaâs inaction without slipping in a little praise for their fave as the ultimate self-rescuer, of course. When Lyanna stans say Lyanna just âsaved herself,â what they really mean is she just simply nodded once and let everyone else clean up the mess for her. And just to contrast her with Elia â to hype up how âactiveâ and âaliveâ Lyanna supposedly was â theyâre willing to say absolutely anything, no matter how ridiculous.
No wonder theyâre the fans of The Runaway King And Queen, Iâm guessing their idea of âsaving yourself and your childrenâ pretty much just means running. âWhy didnât Elia save herself and her children?â Great question, maybe because not everyone gets a brooding prince and his Kingsguard dropped out of the sky to ask if she wants to run away with him? Funny how they never ask why Rhaella spent all those years quietly enduring Aerysâs abuse without âsaving herself and her child,â huh? Elia and Rhaella were dealing with the real Aerys, not the watered-down version that Lyanna stans in their minds seems to imagine. Once the Mad King set his sights on you â tell me, how exactly were they supposed to âjust runâ? Maybe someone should remind the Rhaelya stans how their golden couple managed to escape in the first place, they ran before Aerys ever turned his attention to them. If it werenât for Rhaella and Elia acting as human shields, would Rhaegar and Lyanna have had even a single year of peace in hiding? Not a chance.
As for the whole âRhaegar had a plan, it was Aerys who ruined itâ argument, all I can say is, thank the Seven he didnât get his way. Iâm so done with that broody, tight-lipped guy whose frown could kill a fly. You think heâs got everything under control, but in reality, he gets taken out by a hammer in one clean hit.
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The "Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a manâs natureâ is often applied when justifying Rhaegarâs actions in contrast to Robertâs, as if Lyanna was oh so wise to avoid Robert, an abuser, a rapist, and agressive man and equally justified in choosing Rhaegar, who was somehow⌠better. How exactly is Rhaegar âthe better man,â when his treatment of Elia carries its own thematic echoes of exploitation? Aegonâs conception occurred either while Elia was still recovering from a traumatic first birth or shortly after. There is a disregard for Eliaâs body, well-being, and personhood. Whether she was pressured or simply unconsulted, George implies (red comet) that consent and care might not have been central, and Aegonâs birth appears tied to Rhaegarâs belief in prophecy and the need to fulfill a role through his offspring. So, Rhaegar the "alleged" rapist. Rhaegar publicly humiliated Elia at Harrenhal while she was either pregnant or had recently given birth to Rhaenys in front of the entire political elite. Elia was already operating in a politically unstable position: a Dornish woman in a court hostile to Dorne. So much for being âfond of her,â or "good friends". Not only was that stunt cruel, but it also weakened her political standing at court, both socially and institutionally. After Harrenhal, she could no longer rely on Rhaegarâs support to reinforce her authority. He failed to reaffirm her position or shield her from the fallout. So, Rhaegar the "alleged" neglectful husband. After Aegonâs birth, it is reasonable to infer that Elia was again in a state of physical vulnerability (likely confined to bed or at least severely limited) while caring for two very young children. At this point, Rhaegar removed himself from court entirely and later left with Lyanna. Without his presence or public endorsement, Elia's status as crown princess remained formal but lost its practical force. She had no legal right to relocate her children, no independent claim to resources, and no political allies in the capital. But yes, letâs applaud Rhaegar for âleaving her safeâ (in the Red Keep or on Dragonstone), surrounded by servants, soldiers, and household staff loyal to the crown, not to her. She held no command, no military leverage, and no protection from Aerys. Rhaegar, like Robert, did not remain faithful. But because Lyanna is framed as more âlegitimateâ (the true love/chosen one), thereâs often an assumption that had he lived, he would have remained loyal to her in a way he never was to Elia. As if abandoning your politically isolated, physically compromised wife and children is excusable, so long as itâs in pursuit of destiny. Because apparently, both were just trying to escape their own horrible political marriages, all in the name of love or shit. How, then, is Rhaegar the better man? Lyanna may have succeeded in avoiding one form of abuse, only to attach herself to another. From Eliaâs treatment alone, thereâs little reason to assume Lyanna would have been exempt from the same patterns of disregard, control, or instrumentalization.
The fans keep reposting that quote over and over, trying to frame Lyanna as wise and clear-sighted beyond her years.Yet somehow they act like it only ever applied to Robert, never to any other man, especially not Rhaegar. Or maybe, in their eyes, it only applies to men, never to women, especially not Lyanna. I feel like I need to add another line: âLove is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a manâs nature.Love wonât make you a better person either, after all is said and done, youâre still exactly who you were, just as youâve always been.â
So sad the judgment Lyanna cast on others in her youth was like a boomerang, years later, it came back and struck her square between the eyes. I wonder if, in the end, she ever truly saw the nature of Rhaegar â or her own.
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Elia, Rhaenys, and Rhaegar lounging in bed on Dragonstone.
âdone by @adelikashere
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rhaenys & balerion
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"Rhaegar never cheated on Elia until he met Lyanna" it's silly really because it gives Lyanna doesn't mind as long as she isn't the one cheated on. She can dislike the possibility of Robert cheating on her even when she doesn't love him but somehow they think "he never cheated until he met Lyanna" means he is just that high value man that never cheats. But he did. He cheated and didn't stop there. He Humiliated elia repeatedly and then endangered her. And literally paved the way for her cruel death with their children.
Like how many times I've heard from the children born out of affairs and cheating "my dad was so loyal and that what my mother loved about him. He never hurt or cheated on his ex wife until he met my mother and he loves his children with her. I mean yes she was hurt but my father was in love" like do you hear yourself? This is admission not a defense.
I feel like those stans â how do I put this â they play both Lyanna and her child.
Those childrenâs mothers follow the exact same behavior pattern as Lyanna, or at least the version of her that fans ship and self-insert into. To them, only a married man who had never cheated before could be seen as the ultimate symbol of loyalty. Is there anyone more perfectly suited to be their husband â to be the father of their children â than him? They understood something the ex-wife never did: that showing up early isnât as important as showing up at the right time, and that itâs far easier to enjoy the shade than to plant the tree. Why spend years helping a boy grow into a man, when you can simply choose one someone else already raised? Let the other women do the work,they just showed up to pick the fruit.What a powerful proof: a story that supposedly showcases both their irresistible charm and his flawless character in one neat package. And to top it all off, they even congratulates herself on what an excellent picker they are.
And then the fans go and cast themselves as Lyannaâs child too. Theyâre perfectly like those children who desperate to scrub away their parentsâ sins, because deep down, theyâre really just trying to cleanse their own. At most, they might accept that their origin lies in an extramarital relationship, but emotionally, they reject the idea that it was anything less than a deep, profound, and meaningful love. They need it to have been serious, not a mistake or a whim.
That habit of taking what isnât yours â coveting someone elseâs happiness â must run in the blood. Always looking for shortcuts, always ready to swap out the old for something shinier, always replacing instead of building.Whoever they set their sights on is just plain unlucky,all because their life was too happy. At this point, all I can do is chant âevil spirits, begoneâ and hope for the best.
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Would you draw Elia again? You draw her so well.

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@eliaweek
Day 4
Motherhood
Elia and little Aegon.
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Elia | Elia Week 2025 | Free day
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Day 07 | Free Day | Elia Week 2025 âď¸
Elia Sand and her namesake Elia Martell. This commission was done by giogiove.
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@eliaweek
Still catching up
Day 2
Elia in Kingâs Landing.
I think she was the happiest in her chamberâs balcony. Looking at the water in the bay and feeling the breeze.
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"Princess Elia was a good woman, Your Grace. She was kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit."
Day 6 | Quotes | Elia Week 2025 âď¸
This absolutely stunning art was done by @amaati. I am so in love with her version of Elia and just knew I had to commission a piece from her for Elia Week! Amaati never fails to perfectly capture the delicate beauty of Elia and this piece right here is no exception!
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âPrincess Elia was a good woman, Your Grace. She was kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit. I know the prince was very fond of her.â
Rhaegar Targaryen and Elia Martell for Day 6 âQuotesâ of Elia Week 2025
This gorgeous piece was drawn by the lovely and talented Karyn đ¤ thank you so much!
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rhaegar elia for @eliaweek :') no specific prompt i didnt have time unfortunately . hopefully next time!!
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elia week day 5: elia & what could've been
Princess Elia Martell, Ser Baelor Hightower and their daughter Lady Elinor Hightower (oc)
"Baelor Hightower was no longer young, but he remained Lord Leyton's heir; wealthy, handsome, and a knight of splendid repute. Baelor Brightsmile, they called him now. Had Elia wed him in place of Rhaegar Targaryen, she might be in Oldtown with her children growing tall around her."
more about my oc elinor:
She is athletic, but also studious. In her free time she likes to sail along Honeywine and around the Whispering Sound with her friends. She likes riding, but isn't a big fan of hawking and hunting. She doesn't eat meat (except seafood).
She was a precocious child who grew into an argumentative teenager. Very competitive and ambitious, she would thrive in the citadel. Her favourite subjects are history and law.
She isn't particularly pious, but she gets along well with her septa and likes to discuss the faith and its teachings.
Her parents are a little on the stricter side, so she doesn't always tell them what she is up to, but she loves them very much and knows that they want her to succeed and become the Lady of Oldtown in the future.
However, not everyone in her family agrees with her parents. Her father has many siblings and cousins and some of them are against her being her father's heir and insist that one of them should take their place or that she should wed one of her cousins.
She was betrothed to her cousin Garlan Tyrell as a teenager, but none of them were enthusiastic about the match. Garlan broke off their betrothal and went to marry Lady Leonette Fossoway.
Currently she is courted by Ser Daven Lannister, the son of Ser Stafford Lannister. Their relationship is met with mixed reactions.
She has met her family from her mother's side only a few times, but she adores Arianne and the older Sand Snakes. They write to each other often and send elaborate gifts on important occasions. Elinor is super excited when Sarella starts her studies at the citadel and often sneaks into the city to see her.
She also keeps a correspondence with Willas, they mostly discuss books they have read recently.
As a kid she would pretend that Margaery is her own baby and would âtake careâ of her. When Elinor was an angsty teen she had a phrase where she didn't want to play with little Margaery anymore (because everyone teased her about it). A few years later they became close again, this time on more equal ground.
And that's that (for now)!
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