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How I deal with stress

If you don’t already know I am a really anxious person. Most of the time I tend to create huge amounts of worries, literally out of nowhere and, most of the time, for nothing.

This behavior of mine costs me tons of energy, an energy I could use to actually create new things and be more proactive in my everyday life. I tend to think too much about the near future, and I really struggle to do one thing at a time. Do you recognize yourself in what I’m saying?

That’s why today I wanted to talk about how I deal with stress and anxiety since I realized I’m always trying to relax as much as I can to keep myself in control and I’m proud to say that it helped me :)

So here we go : 

Accept the fact that anxiety will never leave you. Yes, I know, this one sounds desperate but listen to me : wanting to get rid of anxiety forever and thus becoming the most relaxed-hippie person is impossible. What you should do instead, is to acknowledge whenever you’re feeling anxious and looking for the reasons that make you feel that way.

Once you’ve done that, don’t try to keep it away because it’ll come back bigger and bigger! Just contemplate it instead and tell yourself « I know I’m feeling anxious because of X reason, and I decide to embrace it with love instead of fear ».

I know maybe this sounds silly to you, but stress is actually bad for you ONLY if you think it’s bad. Let me show you an example : if you tell yourself «omg, I feel so anxious, I feel terrible I’m gonna fail at my test if I don’t calm down NOW! » well, not only you’ll fail your test, but you’ll end up feeling 10 times more anxious. If you tell yourself instead : « Ok, I know I’m feeling anxious because I have a test tomorrow but this stress will keep me focused and give me that rush of adrenaline that will get me through this study session! ». See the difference? If you still think this is weird I can only show you this TED talk :)

Breathing. YES. BREATHE. Sometimes we just feel overwhelmed by everything and we actually forget to breathe in an adequate way! And what’s worst than a short breath to increase your heart rate and make you feel sicker and dizzy? Do this instead : put one hand on your chest, and the other one on your belly. If the hand on your chest raises higher than the one on your belly, you’re breathing abnormally and not deep enough. To change that, use this breathing method :

Sit tall in your chair or lay down on your back

Inhale with your mouth closed for 4 seconds

Hold your breath for 7 seconds

Exhale for 8 seconds

Repeat at least 4-5 times

You’ll instantly feel lighter :) 

Do one thing at a time. This one is hard for me but I’m working on it! Start by doing and focusing all your attention on only one task and then switch to the next and do the same job. You won’t be as productive if you do a task whilst thinking about another one AND your memory will improve :) 

Meditation. I don’t meditate every day but I’m planning on reading more books about it because this one is a powerful tool, especially if you do it on a regular basis. The more you do it, the better you get at it ! If you’re unfamiliar with this, start with guided meditations (Headspace or 10% Happier are good apps for beginners). 

Sweat it out. This one saved me so many times. Go for a walk, go to the gym, or whatever till you’re sweating a bit. Moving has a really powerful effect on your body AND your mood! Exercise has been proven to reduce stress and depression and it helps a lot to motivate you! It also improves your memory so this one wins on everything. 

Do something simple that you really enjoy. For me, it was preparing a nice breakfast and eating it on my balcony when it was sunny. For you it might be reading a good book, putting on a face mask or anything! The most important thing about this point is that you have to do something for YOU.

Seek help. Talk to your friends, your parents or your therapist. Sometimes the only way to feel better is to share what’s keeping you from being calm and more carefree. Don’t keep all that pressure for yourself, it’s not healthy and it will only make things worse. 

Hope it helped, 

Margot X

[kayeelthea-blog]

you have to get yourself out of bad places. you need to resist the temptation to let everything slip and become apathetic & cynical toward yourself and your life. you need to accept that it takes time to change and it’s ok to fall over as long as u get back up. every morning is a new start and things don’t have to be this way forever. you can heal and you can change.

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Social Media Addiction

Introduction:

Do you feel anxious when your smartphone isn’t within reach? New research suggests nomophobia, a separation anxiety that kicks in when you’re away from your smartphone, is the real deal. Scientists out of City University in Hong Kong say that people are so reliant on their phones these days, and their gadgets store so many of their memories, that they’ve grown attached to them. Although smartphones have indeed positively influenced various aspects of life at both the societal and individual level.

I. Causes of Smartphone Addiction

A. Increase in Heart rate

1. This is because of the electromagnetic field developed around a mobile phone during active call. It may cause interference with electrical impulses in the body.

2. There is a statistically significant change in average heart rate and time between beats when the mobile phone is kept in direct contact with the ear, versus when it is connected using earphones.

B. Anxiety

1. Anxiety is a set to become an increasingly widespread problem. describe the feeling of panic or stress some people experience when they’re unable to access or use their mobile phone.

2. For those who live with illnesses such as anxiety, or those who have family problems extent that they are emotionally unstable.

C. Blood pressure

1. The force of blood pushing against blood vessel walls, because having blood pressure that’s too high or too low can put people at risk for a number of health conditions.

2. Talking over smart phone can trigger an increase in pressure readings corresponding to "serge" occurring in each heartbeat, which is a number that doctors pay most attention to as a risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

II. Symptoms of smartphone addiction

A. Letting it affect your Sleep Cycle

1. Poor sleep is a common physical symptom of anxiety - but most of us use our mobile phone as our alarm clock.

2. This means that it's right there next to us before we go to bed and as we're waking up - making it incredibly tempting to check it out before bed.

B. Using it to escape reality

1. Students who used their phones as a means of escapism had a much incidence of mental health difficulties.

2. Depression and anxiety, than those who simply used theirs to alleviate boredom. Your motivation for going online is crucial, so take a minute to figure out what you’re really getting out of.

C. Diminished Concentration

1. The beep or ping notification sounds from your phone can distract you from any kind of important task, slow your work, and interrupt those quiet moments that are so crucial to creativity.

2. It can also cause lack of concentration and hamper your creative skills. Instead of ever being alone with our thoughts, we’re now always online and connected.

III. Treatment for Smartphone addiction

A.Make rules for yourself

1. Set time periods in which you shouldn’t use your phone (9 p.m. to 7 a.m.)

2. Schedule break times to access your phone or social media

B. Download an application

1. BreakFree and Menthal allow you to track the amount of time you’re spending on your phone and which applications.

2. ColdTurkey and SelfControl allow you to block the sites you wish to avoid.

C. Understand the difference between interacting in-person and online

1. Socially interacting with another person face-to-face—making eye contact, responding to body language—can make you feel calm, safe, and understood, and quickly put the brakes on stress.

2. Text, email or messaging bypasses these nonverbal cues so won’t have the same effect on your emotional well-being. Besides, online friends can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you're sick, or celebrate a happy occasion with you.

Conclusion:

Smartphones are clearly impacting society and say a great deal about what we want from our technology. For instance, someone who is not easily distracted may not mind having a smartphone and using it only when they need to. Meanwhile, a person who is easily distracted may find the smartphone is interrupting their work time, their study time, and even time spent in personal relationships. It all depends on what kind of person you are, and what technology you are capable of handling.

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(Photo not mine©️)

https://www.google.com.ph/amp/s/m.gadgetsnow.com/tech-news/beware-your-smartphone-could-affect-your-heart-rate-heres-what-you-can-do/amp_articleshow/63920265.cms

https://www.google.com.ph/amp/s/www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/amp17851630/mobile-phone-affecting-anxiety-mental-health/

[kayeelthea-blog]

“If you think the value of a woman is only in the curve of her hips and the shape of her breasts, you do not understand how to read beneath her jagged lines, the sacred geometry that make up her glorious heart and her beautiful mind.”

— Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry)

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Doing well is much easier said than done. The best tip I have is to just do the work. It’s going to suck, but there’s no secret other than doing the work. Though, there are ways to make doing the work easier!

I. Time Management

Have a planner to gain a general idea of your week.

Schedule your time for studying but also schedule time for breaks.

Every morning I check what needs to be done for the day.

I treat college as a 9-5 job with a lunch break. This may not work for everyone, but this thinking allows me to be done by 5, and I usually finish everything for the day by that time.

Take a break after you finish an assignment. Allow yourself to feel proud for finishing and give yourself a reward.

Break up projects into smaller parts, this is incredibly important. It’s easier to do an outline, then a few paragraphs rather than doing an entire essay at once.

It’s not time well used if you don’t focus on the task at hand. If you’re having trouble, get rid of distractions using apps that limit phone/internet usage.

Don’t waste time on techniques that don’t work for you. I don’t rewrite notes, it doesn’t help me study. Instead I do extra textbook problems or I watch a video on the topic. 

Sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself to do the work, to study. Then just do a single problem, a single page or paragraph. Usually starting is the hardest part.

II. Studying & Learning

Be present during class by asking questions and answering problems.

Use phone-locking apps like Forest if you need to to stay focused on the class.

Skim lecture notes ahead of time. You don’t need to take notes on them, the professor will tell you what’s important.

It’s ok if your notes aren’t pretty as long as they’re functional.

Practice problems until you can’t get them wrong.

Try to teach the material to someone else. This will show holes in your understanding. Pretend to teach if you don’t have a friend in the same class.

If you need, study in the library. Honestly, studying at my desk in my dorm has worked just fine for me though.

Do the homework, there’s no way around it. This is probably the biggest tip here. Do the work.

Actually do the homework, don’t just copy answers. Understand the answers. You can’t copy on a test.

Speaking of tests, do as many practice tests as you can find. Once the real test comes around, you won’t be as nervous and it should feel familiar.

Nice pens and notebooks aren’t required. However, spend a dollar and get a pen that writes well enough that you’re not wasting time during class getting it to work. (I’ve been through this)

Do the extra credit. There’s no reason not to, and your grade will thank you.

Go to tutoring, not everyone knows everything. You might even make a new friend since most tutors at my school are also students!

Realistically, you don’t need to do every reading assignment as long as you know what your professor tests on. If you don’t have the time, its fine to only skim the assignment.

Make study groups. If you don’t have a friend in the class, it’s as easy as asking “want to work on the homework together?” In my experience, most people are happy to work with you.

Go to your professors office hours if you need help. Your professors are a valuable resource.

Ask your friends for feedback, I do this all the time.

III. Treat Yourself

Sleep and eat well. Coffee is not a breakfast.

Please, don’t force yourself to cram a subject overnight. This is where time management comes into play.

An over-stressed student is a bad student, but a little bit of stress is healthy.

Find what motivates you. Personally, I wish to become a researcher so I work hard towards that goal to get into a good grad. school.

You don’t have to join a club. I’m not in one, and my social life is just fine since I spend time playing games with friends at night.

But join a club if you want, even for a single day. You might meet some friends.

Really do whatever you want with regards to your social life. Do what’s comfortable for you.

If you need it, colleges have a therapist that you can make an appointment with.

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via weheartit

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“So don’t forget, the tears, and everything Remember through those passing days Don’t forget those days we found together If it was someone else, I doubt we would have found this day Even if our smiling faces in that picture Will never be seen again”

— Misia “Wasurenai Hibi”  (忘れない日々)

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I guess it’s obvious which one of us is more tired of the exams 😄

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Sunrise skates in Yosemite Follow me: www.instagram.com/erubes1

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